The Frank Skinner Show - Unbox with Frank

Episode Date: December 13, 2024

On today's podcast Frank has received some Isle of Man themed gifts and has witnessed a box of communal glasses in a café. He's also been doing some research in to other podcasts for inspiration and there is outside world news from the Rev Kate Bottley. Email the podcast [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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special guest star Sarah Michelle Geller with Patrick Dency and Michael C. Hall as Dexter's inner voice. I wasn't born a killer, I was made. Dexter Original Sin, new series streaming December 13th, exclusively on Paramount Plus, a mountain of entertainment. streaming December 13th, exclusively on Paramount Plus, a mountain of entertainment. It's Frank off the radio, featuring him and that posh lady-o,

and the one with the French name, who from South Africa came. They're all here, open brackets, hooray! Close brackets today. Wella, wella, wella. Welcome to welcome to... Tell me more, tell me more. What's it called? Oh no, here we go, you're listening, I've got a new thing to read this week, the other one apparently was stolen at Spiritland. I mean, these people, they look like they're super cool, but not too cool for theft. You're listening to Frank Off the Radio. You can follow the podcast on Instagram and X. Get in touch at frankofftheradioatavalonuk.com

Christmas presents can be sent to... oh we don't have an address. I hate that. So that's it, we're in. I've already got presents today. What about that? Good for you. I got presents. It is good for me. I love, I don't think this is an unusual taste. I like getting presents.

Call me a freak if you must. Simple as that. What did you get? I got some presents from Pierre Novelli's parents. Mr and Mrs Novelli, as I like to call them. And should, as I call them. A visitor's guide, this is a, listen to this book, a visitor's guide to the medieval kingdoms of Man and the Isles, 1066 to 1275. That's a proper book that I will read. And it's got pictures of like

bones in it and stuff. Okay. Yeah. And then we refer to these before Manx knobs. Oh Frank, for God's sake. There's their sweets or their minty sweets. And I was a little disappointed because I thought it's funny that they're called Manxgs knobs But when you read the packaging they've they've they've done that thing Like when people on goggle box, I know what my character is. So I'll play up to it Said things I think what Pierre mentioned when we were referred to and before this thing about they come in various sizes and stuff like that. I mean.

There's a bit of her, her, her. It's not funny if you know about it. Yeah, I know as well. And there's things like, you know, some lean to the left and some to the right, it says. It doesn't sound right. What was next in your... How could a sweep do that? As the influence would call it, what's up next in your haul? And is it like an opening?

I call it an unboxing. It's an unboxing. An unboxing. Hey guys. Hold on. I'd love to see an influencer say, hey guys, just unboxing the new visitor's guide to the medieval kingdoms of man and the Isles 1066, 1273. Well, no one would know anything else that they ever said because that would be the end

of their career. And then you'd see them playing some sort of harmonium in the snow. Do you think any influence ever read a visitor's guide to the medieval kingdoms? I don't know. I mean, there's all sorts of influences, aren't there? I've been influenced by, I've been influenced by you two. Oh, lovely. No, I've been influenced by U2. Oh lovely. No, I'm in the Irish band.

Oh Frank, the Irish band? I've never heard of it in that way. If you don't know U2, I've got an image of... Yeah, here we are on a Saturday night. You go into the pub and U2 are in the corner. Well that's the idea, Frank Skinner's doing the branding at the moment and he's calling you the Irish band. Yeah. I mean, Frank, it's a bit... They are an Irish band.

I know, but it's a weird... I've never heard anyone call them that. Anyway. Anyway, I've got a stick of rock and I am from the Isle of Man. It says traditionally made rock, which sort of fits in with the medieval kingdoms and the Isles. And it's brown and white which I've personally never seen before on a stick of rock. I mean I like pink. I like pink and unstriped. Yes, so do I.

Pink and unstriped. Yeah, you know, solid pink rock. One big. Solid as a rock. I like a word. Let's see what's running. I recently went in a fish and chip shop in Harbour in Birmingham. Lovely. And it was called, and see if you can spot the pun on this, it was called the Cod Scallops. Oh they've gone a bit cheeky. They've gone on the dogs. Yes. But you get sweets at the end. At the end?

At the end? If you eat in. Oh. And as a breath freshener. And it says, Isle of Man. There you go. On the rock. That should not have surprised me.

Yeah. I'll probably eat there on the tube on the way home. I find people look at you in horror. That would be dignified. When you eat a stick of rock in public at my age, people look at you as if you might escape from somewhere. Why is that? I think a lot of people in London won't know what it is. No, maybe.

That man is into Brighton at the weekend. Yes, that's true. It is somewhat unusual. I mean, here's a question. Would eat an ice lolly on the tube a fab ice lolly? Well, it's more of a problem isn't it because it would melt. Okay. No, I know but I'd eat Yeah, I'd eat a fab. Fab has the one shape like a rocket ship. No There used to be a lolly called fab. That's a zoom. Fab has hundreds of thousands on the top. Oh But I'm aware we're talking about retro foods and I do apologise. And who's counting?

That's what I'd say. If I worked at a hundred thousand factory, I'd be saying that ten times a day. That'd just become a nightmare. Anyway, the cod scallops, you can get little circles of rock and it's got the cod scallops written all the way through it and some sort of winking fish. And there's something about rock and fish and chips that I'm not sure about. I mean, I know it's the seaside, I suppose,

that's what the reference they're going for. But they're sort of this opposite ends of the seaside. I'm guessing this bit won't be this week's visual clip. I'd question whether... Unless we adopted a sort of scarecrow method with the clips that sent people away. I would question why the fish is winking. Because it's in on the pond. I suppose.

What do you mean it's in on the pond? It's in on the cod scallops pond. If the fish is a cod is it winking and saying the scallops are like my bollocks but I don't have any bollocks or any scallops but still ha ha ha. I think a fish is... Oldie, oldie. Cods don't have any bollocks. Not in that sense. In what sense? They're quite flat I find. In the dog sense. You don't see it under the tail. No, no, I don't care where they are.

My dog doesn't have an ear either. They must have them, well they wouldn't be little cods. I find cods are quite humorless though. Also, where do you think the phrase codpiece comes from? Yeah, true. I sorted that out. Another problem solved here on Frank Off, the radio.

Oh, I'll tell you what I did do. I've been doing a bit of research because basically I'd like to make this show better. And I've been looking at some other podcasts, not listening, but seeing what's out there. What do you mean looking at them? Looking. You know, titles and what they're about through the window. Yeah. I've got to say, I had a look at the charts, the rest. You know, my gripe on this show is that The Rest Is History was a radio program I had two series off on Radio 4

it was just taken up with no acknowledgement by a podcast and then the prefix the rest of has triggered a whole kingdom of podcasts yeah not a single thing nothing from Gary Lineker. He's got his hands full with the Rest is franchise. It's a new mafia. But you know, he's not as busy as he was. You wake up with a packet of crisps in your bed if you mess with Lineker. Yeah, that's yeah, horse head fly.

Yeah, anyway, there's a book now. Oh, is there? Yeah, anyway, yeah, there's a book now Does the rest is? History book. I mean they're robbing my proverbial Oh Proviscus in it Anyway, so I looked at some other Things there's a there's a podcast called This I would worry that this might make people anxious. It's called Crooks Everywhere.

Is that like Shaw-Taylor's Piece Five? It's actually the same title as my Radio 4 series on shepherding equipment. No, it's one of these true crime things. Why do people love crime? Oh man, they love crime. We need more crime on this podcast, don't you think? Yeah, so Crooks Everywhere apparently is quite popular in the United States as a podcast. The other one I found was, now this is quite clever, Historical Records, it's called.

Is it? Go on, guess what it is. Well I'm imagining there must be some pun. It's sort of a desert island disc thing where you're going back to listen to music that reminds you. I'm going to guess it's like Guinness World Records. Oh. Yeah.

It's history in hip hop. Oh no. So it's people saying, do you remember that thing that I couldn't stand in Hamilton when it goes? Yeah. All of it? And then she built an orphanage in New York, the first ever orphanage in New York. She did that about 13 years after Hamilton died and I thought this is Wikipedia set for music. That's what I'm guessing this is like. Okay. We don't know. No, I haven't listened to it. No, no, no. But I wouldn't listen to a rapping history podcast.

No, I mean, you know, I'm worried about when it comes to Christmas, I've got enough rapping to keep me going. But I did think that it's a good title, Historical Records, because it could be like the rest of you could do medical records when you talk about You with me? Identifiable only by dental records. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah little records. That could be a good true crime. Yeah And then probably the least listen to Commonwealth You know when an athlete's athlete breaks a Commonwealth record you think,

why bring it off? Anyway I wonder if we could do something with this. What are our spin-offs going to be? So I was thinking that instead of Frank off the radio, it should be off. Frank off on one in which is like a ranting. Terrible idea. People love ranting. Do you not like it? People would like it though. Frank off on one. It sounds a bit forced Frank if you don't mind me saying. Of course it's forced. So is the rest is... what are they called? What are they from? Politics. Yeah, the rest is politics. Who's ever said that? Who's ever said, Frank, off on one? The rest is classified.

Who's ever said that? Maybe the blokes who were moving Donald Trump into his house after he was president. So hang on, Frank, off on one. Yeah, that's what I thought. What are we building this wordplay on? What about this, do you know that one, who is the man, is it Tom Rosenthal who interviews people on park benches? Do you know that podcast?

Yes, I do know that. I don't want to be a plug in other people's play. No, it's very good. He just walks into a park and goes up to people on park benches. I think it is Tom, Rose and Sal's on that thing. Now I was thinking what about Frank off the shoulder in which I if I see anyone stopped on the hard shoulder I pull over I just drive around the motorbikes of Britain and if I see anyone stopped on the hard shoulder I pull over in front of them and go in and interview them.

Because then people are at their raw risk when they're stopped on the hard shoulder. I like it. My only concern with that is you're quite a busy man. You have a busy schedule. I'm less busy than I was. OK, but you're driving up and down the motorways, hoping to see someone stopped on the hard shoulder.

There's always somebody, isn't there? I can't help but feel they'd have just as many questions for you as you do for them in this situation. Frank Skinner suddenly gets out and says, I'd like to talk to you. You know when you see people, they've got out their car and they're like smoking or something but they've gone up the bank a bit. You know those people on the motorway? Oh yeah, some of them. Behind the barrier.

Do you know the ones that go a bit wild? I've seen them ween. Yeah. I've seen worse than that. Oh you haven't? I have and I was with my god children. Oh my. Who I'm afraid asked us to drive back so we could look at it again. We can't do that. You're one of these people who drove the wrong way on the motorway. They asked me, they said that was so funny we want to see more of it. We said I'm afraid darlings you cannot, that was a horrible thing and he's a businessman and he should have known better. And we can't plan. But we just said some people get very desperate. Can I tell you just one more idea I had and people will use these because there's a lot of punning titles. They're not not gonna use Frank off the hard shoulder. I thought what if we had one where we just sit and we just complain about what miserable

life is. That's it. Sort of what we're doing. Yeah, just that. And it could be called good moaning Britain. I think people, I mean someone will think hold on we'll get an Irish guy, Scottish guy, Welsh guy and English guy and we'll do that. We'll have that title. Just like Lineker thought all those years ago, we'll have that title, there's nothing to pay. And next thing, there'll be a good mo in Britain, it'll be above us in the charts and you'll all think, well he's further away. But then you've got GMB and GMB already exists. Yeah.

You don't seem remotely phased by this detail. That's a good point actually, which I haven't considered, it's sort of stolen that title. You don't want to steal GMB. You know what's good for the goose is good for the gander. Good for the gandy. Yeah good for gandy. Yeah. What would that be a good text if we still had textings? What was both good for a goose and for the Mahatma gandy? Oh I was thinking David but that will always happen. Oh yeah now I've gone historical. Long distance flights.

Yeah. Did he do long distance flights? Gandhi? That's how I met him, on a plane. Oh, not one of the Mahatma. Oh, you Mahatma, okay. Yeah. Bar poo, as I used to call it.

What about when Gandhi had two dinners? I couldn't believe it. Who had two dinners? David Gandhi, not Mahatma. I was going to say, Mahatma Gandhi definitely didn't have two dinners. He didn't have two in a month. He's famous for his lack of dinner. Yeah.

It's one of his biggest... He was a dinner-free son. He wrote My Experiments with Truth. David Gandhi. No. Anyway. Is that what it was? Oh, the book was called My Experiments with Truth.

That's what Mahatma Gandhi called... Yeah, I read it. Mahatma Candy. That's my new shop. Sorted. Indian sweet. That's my porn star name. Oh, Indian sweet. I love Indian sweet. There's nothing sweeter than those. I used to hang out with some Indian ladies when I was a student. And they used to bring in this

stuff. Yes, you say. sugar rush, but it was great Make your whole jaw hum and also when they made tea They used to say do you want to come back for a cup of tea now have a cup of tea that it would all go in A saucepan with like eight spoonfuls of sugar and the milk and everything went in the saucepan. It came out like that Man, they were slim. Yeah. I don't get it. Hamburglar, why are you calling? Rubble, rubble. McDonald's has a new biggest burger called Big Arch

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Save your holiday with winners and Home Sense. Anyway, look, before we move on, I think we should pay respect to Dirty Dave Dennis. Now, I don't know if you remember Dirty Dave Dennis. He was a wrestler that I met on the Isle of Wight. And he has a shop there, which sells gaming things, but more to my interest, action figures and the like. And it's a cool shop. And we had a long chat and he said, I wrestle and we talked about it. And then I talked about it on the last podcast and then the weekend just gone, he's retired from wrestling. I'm starting to think, you know these things like the filming of iClaudius, the movie, had like a curse on it and people were... Remember I was on Hard Talk and I talked about that TV show.

And Stephen Sackur was sacked. Yeah, exactly. And then a week. But it had run for years. I talked about it, it was gone. And then Dirty Dave Dennis, been wrestling for ages, I mention it, he's gone. Is this why you've been mentioning

the rest of this history so much? Yeah. And I will continue. Try to kill him with your curse. You're sort of saying to the curse, I'd hate it if anything were to happen to my old friend. Frankie! I'm a bit anxious about the cod scallops. It's a very nice fish and chips shop.

Frank! You're falling to your knees outside a gutted cod scallop saying, no! What am I supposed to do? For something to happen to the rest of you! Love this! Yeah, what's that film with Richard Burton? and Codd's skull and saying, no, this is supposed to happen to the rest of his. Love this. Yeah, what's that film with Richard Burton? Is it, the Medusa Totch, is it called?

Oh, yes, yes. When he just wishes things. There's an argument going on in the flat next door and the woman's saying, you're ruining my life to her husband and all that. And he's sitting, it's driving him crazy there arguing, and he shouts, oh, why don't you just jump out the window? And you hear, oh my God, from the husband.

You know, she's gone. But I hope that it's a very sort of 60s, 70s, slightly understated way. They never quite reacted to disasters, and it was always like, oh my god. Yeah exactly Oh my god, then you had the telly in the sport car the telly. Oh Man so, um, yes, so it might be something to do with you the skin a touch I hope not. Well, there's our podcast. It's all mystery, it's got crime. Yeah.

It's slightly paranormal. I don't really think all the skin are touching the current climate. Who's going to be interviewed on it? That's what I want to know. I, yeah anyway. Aren't they going to be in silhouettes? He's got a cool shop, Arcade Games. The Isle of Wight, check it out.

That's what I'd say. And good on him, and all that. You know when we were talking the other week about, I'd slept on a yoga mat. Yes. Okay. And... You expressed your scepticism towards Big Bed. Well the whole mattress thing. I slept perfectly well on a yoga mat and I think we might have been conned with the mattress

thing. I don't think we need mattresses. And I was explaining that we, you know, everyone tells you we need these things, we need the experts. Like when we were told, the example I used previously was we were told only a small group of super humans could run marathons. And now, as you see, there's 85 year olds, you know, holding a 100 metres. Anyone can do that.

100 metres is one thing. It's so easy. Well, I know. It was ridiculous. Such a calm that one. But it was, I was on about this idea that maybe we're led to believe that these people are experts. We need fancy mattresses. We don't.

I went into a cafe and I've taken a photograph of this. There was, it's a very friendly cafe. There was a basket in the cafe containing spectacles. I mean like loads of spectacles, including some sunglasses which I'll come to. And then on the front of it, it said, if you've forgotten your glasses, borrow a pair. Pop them back when you're finished for others to use heart. Like umbrellas? Yeah.

What? The idea is, you know, we could pay for an eye test. I mean, don't get me wrong, you know how much I love qubits. The idea is you can go to a cafe and just so I haven't got my glasses, here I am. And then, you know, you're reading, you're seeing things at a distance. Why not just have a big wicker basket of loose pills and say if you forgot whatever medicine you need, grab a handful of rec and take pills. Well, we've all been to those cafes. But the sunglasses, I'm just, I'm doing that thing

there of making the picture a bit bigger. And it says- Zooming in. There's a label on the sunglasses that says prescription sunglasses. Even the sunglasses are disproving the optician, not the optician. Who is the optometrist? The optometrist's art. Yes, optometrist, the optometrist's art. Yeah. But did you try any of these out? I didn't because I had contact lenses in and I didn't. Was there a big dish of contact lenses you could plop into your eye? You'd put them back and you'd go, wow. It was like a little pool keeping them moist.

Oh. Oh, like Monet's water lilies all floating on the top. The horrible contact lens swimming pool. And you could have some colored, you know, you can get like colored contact lenses and stuff. You could just have a green one and a red one for a 3D film or. Yeah, well, yeah, I mean, I'm auditioning for the David Bowie biopic.

I don't want that also in a cafe. I don't want contact lens soup, thank you very much. No, that also in a cafe. I don't contact lens soup. Thank you very much No, that would be that would be a problem apparently Wayne Rooney washed his hands in a bowl of soup when he was out with them Colleen she revealed exclusively Celebrity get me out of here

He thought it was a finger bowl. Right. Now what gets me about that is we're supposed to think, haha, silly, working class people can't handle the high life, but how did he even know there was such a thing as a finger bowl? Yes. I was going to say. I'd never even heard of a finger bowl till I was well into celebrity.

Well, if you had been there when she told that story, you'd have been like Columbo. That's a great story there. But there's one thing. What a great clash of the detectives. Waggers of Christie and Columbo. Wow. You're quite waggers of Christie. Hold on, I think Pierre's going somewhere comically. But let's say he knows about finger bowls.

And there's a bowl of soup in front of him. Soup doesn't look like water. It was cold soup, apparently. Still, it must have been red. Are you accusing Colleen Rooney of making something up? I hope she's made it up, because if not, Wayne Rooney's madder than anyone could ever have anticipated. I remember I ordered steak tartare well done the first time I went into a fish.

No, sure. But in case you don't know, as I didn't, it's raw meat. That's what you eat. But that's a mistake that I understand. Whereas if I saw a bowl of opaque liquid that smelled like tomatoes, I wouldn't think, well, of course, I must dunk both hands in this huge bowl of soup. Well, he was probably under pressure. Under pressure. Under pressure. Anyway, I'd like

to have a little bit of gadget chat. Yes, we may. Is that another one of your podcast titles? Or should we be going to the outside world? Anyway, I'd like to have a little bit of gadget chat. Yes, we may. Or should we be going to the outside world? Well, there is something I would like to share with you. Okay, well I'll save the gadget. It's just that a gadget has come into our household, which I need to share. Well, now you've sold it quite well. No, no, we can come back to it any old time. We do 58 of these a year.

Okay. Actually, we do more than that. We do 104 a year if it continues. That's a lot, isn't it? Yeah. Okay. And it'll never be enough. You know we talk about the wheel. Not for me!

Yes? You know your agent told you to stop being negative. I'm not being negative! Okay. I'm being positive. I've been researching podcasts this week. Yeah, not listening. Not looking. No? Frank off the hard shoulder is what you came up with.

Frank off the shoulder. Yeah, Frank off the shoulder. Don't lose the, I'm thinking, you know. I'd listen to Gadget type. Don't lose the sexy type. Yeah, don't use the Jane Russell in the outlaw feel to it. Okay you know we talk quite regularly here about the wheel and how we have this problem this seemingly insurmountable problem that you love the wheel you just... I've said no to the wheel twice yeah because Frank don't dance. And it's a source of endless frustration to me. I want to dance on prime time telly.

There's only one place to go, isn't there? What is that, GMB? You know, I'll get someone to teach me professionally how to dance and I'll make a real thing of it. OK. I don't want it to be part of, just like a little part of something else I'm doing. OK. But it's a source of endless frustration to me because every time I watch it,

I think, Frank would have known that. Frank would have known that. That's what I think. You know what they say? Yeah, it's a source of endless frustration to me because every time I watch it I think, Frank would have known that. Frank would have known that. That's what I think. You know what they say, it's alright at home but once you get on it, I think no. They'll know it. Although what about when I did Jeremy Clarkson's Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? Oh has he gone Bob Monkhouse with the Jeremy Clarkson? No, I just see, I'm hoping it's one of the owned programs. Okay I love an owned. And also with that it comes more as a warning.

Just in case you still thought it was Christa. Open brackets not the proper one, closed brackets. But when I did really badly on it. When I came up. What's wrong with Adrian? No when I did on my own, I did really badly on it when I came off. Did you come with Adrian? No, when I did it on my own. I did really badly. And the researcher said to me after, sorry, there's a bit of a wait for your car. We thought you'd be on the show longer. No. That wasn't the one where you rang me.

I think it might have been, yeah. Oh yeah, you didn't let him down, did you? No. No, no, god no, don't even suggest that. No, you never would. It was about African mammals too. Did you get it right? Mmm.

Oh, thank God. Yeah, it was about the Predo family. Just, they coincidentally came up. What part did the Predo family play in the Battle of Hastings was the question. Or D, none as far as we know. Poor old Priddos. Don't be waiting here with Pridot Pickett. Do you know it's still, I still wake up in the middle of the night

and I sweat over the the catechums question you got when you were on with Adrian Childs. But I am... Because I knew it was Paris and I couldn't do the phone a friend that night. No. Because I was at a fashion party I'm afraid. And they said it was unsuitable. That's life. That's one of the reasons I've tried to go to as few parties as possible. So I'm always on call. I can sit with a man from a private security firm looking at me in my living room. Did the man come then to you? Yeah. They sit opposite you and watch you. Was he nice to man?

Make sure you can't touch any books. What did he say? Very bored. Still waiting times? My roommate. Does he make conversation with you and say, hi, how are you? No, not really. Does he not say anything?

It's a bit like being assassinated, but they never actually kill you. Hang on, does the man come into your actual home? I wouldn't put up with that. And they make sure you sit on the couch and you can't even have books near you. Because you can't be googling and things. I know, but I don't want some weird man walking into my room. I'm finding a friend, not the long man press. Yeah.

And he just sort of watches you from a sort of chair across the room. Oh no. That sounds like the creepiest thing I've ever seen in my life. What did he say when he left? Did he say thanks for your help? Did he comment on you getting the question right? No. God.

He's a damn psychopath. As he left he just said, I may be leaving but I'll never not be watching. That's what he said. Never cheat on any quiz ever again, now that we've had this experience together. That was Jesus' final word. I might be leaving but I'll still be watching. I've forgotten what I was going to say. So, Outside World. Okay, so this is from Okay, so this is from the Rev Cannon, Kate. I've remembered. I was talking to former Prime Minister John Major. I was reading an email but there you go.

No, no, we'll come to it by now. Okay, thank you. At my age, if it looms out the fog you have to seize it. I understand. Or it'll go back in deep. Okay, come on then. It'll just take a few seconds. I was talking to John Major at a cricket match and he had two gentlemen standing at the back with like curly wires coming out there. Oh clothes protection yeah.

Yeah and he says I get that. Or Orthodox Jews. I get that. Or Orthodox Jews. Or both. He travels everywhere with two Orthodox Jews., this was John Major, his younger brother John Minor was sitting nearby. I knew it was Carol. He said I've got these guys for the rest of my life, when you're Prime Minister you get them for it. He said I can get rid of them but I always think the day I get rid of them. And I think wouldn't it be brilliant to have two security guys? It'd be like being Pierre. I wouldn't be frightened when I went out at night. I could go anywhere at night. It wouldn't matter if I missed that bus and I had to, you know, I had to hang around.

How much competition among security guards, the police government, whatever, who love cricket, do you think it is to be John Major's person? This was at a test match. This is what I mean. You're spending a lot of time at Lord's. Oh yeah, got to make sure no one hits a ball at John Major. No, but you have to listen to Edwina Curry orgasm. That's the other problem. Anyway, outside world. I can't believe this. Everything comes at a price. Okay, this is something of a this morning gear change I'm going to have to perform here. Well that's alright. Because we're now going over to the rev canon Kate Botley. Yes. Who said

thank you for the mention on last week's podcast, Read the Wheel and the cathedrals category. Oh yes. Do you remember we were discussing Kate Botley? DJ Spoonie's knowledge was, as you rightly pointed out, very impressive. The suggestion from the listener that the category should have been Frank's, but was given to me instead because Frank don't dance, is an interesting one and perhaps will need to remain a mystery. I've appeared on the wheel four times now. I love the show. That's saying, yes, it might have been Frank's question question and now here's my credential proving that it isn't. And my specialist subject has been different every time. I think you have to have a different one every time.

Well we're getting to this. When talent, and I use that term loosely about myself, a book. Don't get Maldives know you've talked about being on the wheel four times. They were asked to provide suggested specialist subjects they would be able to answer questions about. One of my choices was English cathedrals. The questions are then written to suit the celeb. So the show doesn't choose the subject of the questions, the celeb does is my point. Can I say? I long for the day they let me have a go at 90s hip-hop. Blessings the Rev Cannon Kate Botley Anglican priest in the diocese of Southwell and Nottingham. Lovely. Well that's nice of her to get in touch. Yes. I was, the first offer I had said, will you come on the wheel and do poetry as your category? So that blows that theory out of the water.

Were they trying to limit the amount of trouble you could cause by letting you have a free choice? Maybe they like to go for subjects that... I mean sometimes it's exactly what you think they're going to be, but like Dermot O'Leary World War II, I didn't see that coming. Yes, I didn't see that coming at all. Was he? Sometimes it's exactly what you think they're going to be. But like Dermot O'Leary World War II, I didn't see that coming. Yes, I didn't see that coming at all. Was he?

Yeah. Well, he's been on so many times, Dermot, that he has to stop mixing it up. Yeah, they're scraping the barrel now. World War II. Frank, that's very rude. No, I don't mean him. I mean, we can't all be experts on everything. Dermot O'Leary at some point, just the pre-presidential career of Richard Nixon. Nisha and Nisha and Nisha. Yeah, Nisha, what are we doing, Nisha?

My lean class was on Celebrity Mastermind and she had Sex in the City, season two. No, I think she might have even gone, did she go for an episode or was it just one season? No, I think it was a season. They wouldn't let you do an episode. One episode. They will now. Frank, Ruth Jordan also. Hey. We love a bit of art. Ruthie.

Hey. Ruth says, I agree with Emily, we really do need Frank to do the wheel. So I was thinking about what we could do about the dreaded dance aspect of the show. I remember back in the radio days Frank saying how much he liked those garage forecourt waving guys. The kind of windsock figures with air blowing through them. Could Frank maybe do some of their moves? The billowing giant? Is that what we call it? Yeah, Ruth is suggesting collapse forward and then lurch up again, waving your arms as if in some sort of distress.

Yeah, I don't want someone to run on and put a lollipop stick in my mouth before I bite my tongue off. Well, Ruth does say as long as no one mistakes it for a genuine medical emergency, it should be foolproof. Praise redacted Ruth Jordan. Thank you Ruth. I just, I can't do that. Really? I say I love the program, I love watching it. I love Michael McIntyre but I can't do that dancing to The Wheel or whatever the tune is. But I should rather take the place of Saint Catherine herself and be placed

and be placed strapped to a burning wooden whale and roll down a mountain. I don't think they sang the wheel as they did that. The wheel! Just lighting the fireworks. Do you think Shisha shouted it out occasionally? She's the patron saint of the show. I also think... Do you think McIntyre would wear a big medallion of Saint Catherine? Just on her day, her saint's day maybe as a fun reference. I think if he really cares about pre-publicity, they should be building that wooden wheel for him now. How's he going to skip?

They'll have to put some rocks here and there to raise him up. It should be on fire to give it some extra jeopardy. Oh you're gonna have fire for Catherine's wheel? No yeah otherwise it's just a... Oh it's just a wheel? A wheel, no. Yeah. Yeah.

You're gonna go... you're gonna lapse into hamster if there's no fire. Thanks for listening to the podcast. Make sure to like and follow so you never miss an episode. And if you want to get in touch, you can email the Always clear snow and ice from your vehicle for better visibility. Always drive with two hands on the wheel and avoid lane changes in slushy conditions. Brake gradually and avoid sudden stops, especially in turns. Check out michelin.ca to find the right winter tire for your vehicle today.