The Frank Skinner Show - Well Executed Magic

Episode Date: August 18, 2025

Ania Magliano joins the gang again! Frank has been to see a Every Brilliant Thing and it has left him with a question for the team. Ania has just returned from the Edinburgh Fringe and went to a magic show where she got more than she bargained for! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey, we know you probably hit play to escape your business banking, not think about it. But what if we told you there was a way to skip over the pressures of banking? By matching with the TD Small Business Account Manager, you can get the proactive business banking advice and support your business needs. Ready to press play? Get up to $2,700 when you open select Small Business Banking products. Yep, that's $2,700 to turn up your business. Visit TD.com slash Small Business Match to learn more.

Conditions apply. It's Frank off the radio featuring him and that posh ladyo And the one with the French name We're from South Africa came They're all here open brackets to rain Close brackets today Oh sounds like thunder outside Oh no, it's a rippling laminate

Oh, I don't like that a school play vibe This is Frank off the radio I'm joined by Emily Dean and Anya Magan Ligliano. Some mouthful, isn't he? I think that's very rude. Follow the podcast on Ex and Instagram. You can email the podcast via Frank off the radio at Avalonukk.com.

Oh, here's a WhatsApp moment. You're ready? Yep. I'll take my headphones off. Here we go. This is from Cy Boys Way. That's a mouthful, isn't it? Is that right?

Here we go. It's it. Oh, seven, four, five, seven, one, seven, seven, six nine. Oh, seven, four, five, seven, seven, seven six nine. I like that. Did you? Yeah. Sounds like when they're in a 70s cop drama and they go into the sleazy club to find the drug dealer.

And there's a cabaret act. I thought it was a bit like canteener in Star Wars. Oh. You know, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I must stop mentioning Star Wars and Doctor Who in front of the ladies. What was that mime? Was that smoking a cigarette? That was smoking a cigarette?

It's a sort of character. Very wet-in-habits, yeah. Don't you ever think, when I walked past the Royal Free Hospital this morning, there was a man in full hospital gown, and he's a drip on a stand, smoking a cigarette. And I thought, this. is what cigarette adverts you should be because it's saying okay we can all condemn cigarettes for their health things and that but this bloke obviously is going through a tough time in his life

but he struggled outside with a drip yeah and look at him now he's really enjoying that it would be a gross better than a cowboy going across the prayer race and bloke thinking oh life's pretty terrible, but oh, lovely. I got my fag. I've got my robe. They've always got a robe. Yeah, got me drip. Got my robe, got my drip. Got my fag. Yeah. Got my helper, got my... Anyway, to me, they just look bliss out. Yeah. We're all different. So you've, um, you did the Edinburgh Festival. I did, yeah. Well, I've done, I did a half run. there. Well, you wouldn't be here, I suppose, if you were still doing it. I didn't know

you could do half-runs. That seems more suitable, doesn't it? It's becoming a bit more like trendy now, I think, not to sort of slog away for the whole month. I did a work in progress show as well. I didn't even finish it. I didn't even finish it and I did a half-run. It was absolutely nothing. I think Magda's thinking, you know,

I've been on Taskmaster. I'm not going to do a full run now. I've been on Frank off the radio. I don't need to do a full run anymore. So you did two. I like, the idea of doing work in progress. Yeah, it was really, really good because you're so, because you can do, I usually wouldn't do so many in a row.

I did 14 in a row, changing it every day. It, like, really develops a lot quicker than doing one every week. So at the end of it, did you think that's Don now, that show? I thought, well, I will say my management didn't say that, which I thought they would be like, oh, great, that's done. My management would be in such deep depression that I hadn't charged full price for tickets and done the full month.

They wouldn't have nothing. They wouldn't be able to speak. They'd be so profoundly upset. Yeah, but you also, I haven't spoken to my manager, oh, he's going to dump me. And then I found out you had a lovely evening together. When? When did you go?

Didn't you go to the theatre or something recently? No. Oh, okay. I thought you had. I thought you told me you'd seen him recently. Oh, no, I saw him at The Cricket, but he just happened to be there. I thought it was a date. Yeah, you know, that's like, I saw Bruno Tonyoli in Regent's Park, but he's not my manager. He's not seeking me out. I kind of wish he was, Mages.

Imagine if Bruno Tornioli was Frank's manager. Hello? Yeah, exactly. You want Frank Skinner? Yes. No. She doesn't do celebrity back off. Imagine the crumbs in his chest hair.

He'd put a lot of pressure on you to do dancing and entertain. Imagine if you said, I won't do the wheel. Because you know Frank loves the wheel, but he can't do it because he won't dance. But he loves it. Bruno wouldn't have that, Frank. No. When I saw Bruno at that musical last week,

the first thing he said to me says, I must go and compliment the choreographer. that was his first he loves Dan I do like the fact that he genuinely likes there are some people on those shows

and you think but I think he genuinely does which is lovely anyway how was it then it was great well I enjoyed I enjoyed working on the shows and I was very grateful

that people came to watch something unfinished I think that always makes me feel very lucky and then I was also trying to see stuff and I'm a big fan

Shoebert must have been absolutely delighted. Shoeba. Unfinished symphony. Okay. Look, that's going to have hit so hard with some of your esteemed listeners. Okay.

You're not going to say you're too young that Shubut wasn't around. Yeah, I wasn't actually around for Shoeba. Yeah, I think I was. You could have gone for her. Could have gone for her. Yeah, that is bittersweet. Yeah, well, that's not quite unfinished.

Fair enough. So sorry. So, yeah. Are you both, how do you feel about magic? I love magic. I love magic. Yeah. Well, that wraps that up.

Do you love, you, you're looking. As I say, that wraps that. Okay. I went, I went to the magic circle in London with my, well, my whole family basically went. Wow. And I was telling Emily, the one thing that concerned me is a man got up who was, I think, from Panama. And then he said, do you say any, can have a volunteer from the audience. And she went up and he said, where are you friends?

She said, Panama, I thought you should have taught this through before. This might have worked in Panama for you too. But here, it's a whole new ball game. So did you see some magic in Edinburgh? Yeah, so I was like, I saw this advert for a show that was called Adult Only Magic Show. And I was like, because obviously in Edinburgh there are lots of kids shows, right? So I thought this would be a show that's like probably got some swearing in it.

And me and my, me and my boyfriend went along. and we were sat in there. It was really full Friday night audience and an emcee comes out and says, you know, all right, who's here to see some well-executed magic, me and my boyfriend, cheer. No one else cheers. Then he says, who's here to see some willies?

And the crowd goes wild. And we were looking at each other like... What does he mean, men's willie? Yeah. We were like, what the hell have we got tickets to? Oh, they weren't soaring them off. chopping them in half putting them in that special box

is this your card? Ripped them into pieces and like the newspaper and then they're just given a bit of a shake and it's completing them out like a handkerchief and producing a rabbit instead which sometimes is more useful yeah

so applause because I don't understand it's all right when I talk about Doctor Who and get condemned for it but sex toys alienity me, it's fine. You made a rod for your own back.

Well, that's, yeah, I'm not going to talk about my sex toys. It's actually in the shape of Rod Stewart. Oh, dear. Well, all that stuff that we just listed was better because basically it just was like one of the, so how do you think? Because they said, you're going to see some willies. So was it naked magicians? Well, I like the people come out at the front

and tell you're going to see some willies, though. I mean, a spoiler's go. Yeah, Chekhov's gun. Who was, I don't want to see that either. Who was it, two men? Is there another thing? I'll talk to you about it later, Max. Who were it, was it two men?

So it was a, yeah, it was a double act from Australia, and then they also had a sort of MC. And then, actually, and what do you think of this? So, so basically, one of the, Some of the jeopardy in one of the tricks was whoever, like, performs this escape act. There's going to be a large naked picture unveiled of them on the side of the stage. And then that was, so that was some of how they ticked off what you're seeing. Okay.

Then at the end, I think there was a live. They both got naked right at the year. Live, Willey. Yeah. I don't like Live Willey's. Both of them. Or maybe even only one of them. I remember at the end, I went into it, like, obviously, just wanting to see some Welleck

executed magic. And I remember thinking... It did have the word adult in it, though, didn't it? Yeah. I guess... I was discussing this yesterday with someone. You don't know the intonation of whether it's adult or adult. I just thought it must be...

Is there a difference? Well, yeah, this is the conversation we were having. Oh, is there? Because, well, I don't know. But you know if someone says, like, adult entertainment. I would put an e on the end, because it sounds a bit more French and sleazy. Adolete? Adult.

No, I didn't know there was a distinction. I don't know. I was talking to, do you know the comedian, Reese James? He was saying that we were talking about it yesterday and he was saying that adult, you would know. But then I said it was written down on a poster, so I didn't know anything. So it's not my fault. But by the end of it, I did think I actually wanted a few more.

I don't like Reese, and I love Reese, but it sounds like he's victim blaming you. Yeah, actually, that's true. You should have known what you were getting into. Yeah, yeah. But I don't know what I would have expected adult, Maddie. What would you? one in half, but down the middle.

In fact, you might be able to just stare at it. Oh, wow. You get the seam in the right place. Frank. Sorry, I'm just speculating. I saw a thing advertised on the tube this week or in the tube station. And my kid loves Star Wars, as do I.

And it said Star Wars live on stage, and I thought, great. And it said an evening of burlesque. Oh, that's a bit sleigh. I don't want to see Chewbacca and have two of suspenders. But you know what, burlesque is? Burlesque is for people who read The Guardian and went to university to go and see strip shows.

Yeah. But it's a bit 50s, so that's all right. It's also a bit Vue Le Vu Couchet, yeah. There's a show at the fringe called Swamp Lesk, which is Shrek-themed Berliske. Again, I don't want to see Shrek in suspenders. You'd be surprised, I think you do. Have they cleared that?

The copyright on these things? I don't think so. You think George Lucas said it's fine to have a burlesque-based. Yoda and a Basque. Really happy with that. They're on the poster. It's like Star Wars, you know, people. What happens at the Star Wars burlesque? Like when you go to the fair, you know when you get to the fair, there's a painted, a hand-painted of Donald Duck.

And he's got like a brown beak or something. And they always did George Michael really, really. Yeah, on the side of the waltzers. Yeah. Oh, and there was the goofy. They've obviously decided that goof is the easiest Disney figure to do. Anyway. So I did see that.

I enjoyed it. I also got myself into a bit of... You did enjoy it? I did enjoy it. Well, I enjoyed it. I think they could have had some more magic tricks in there. That'd be good in a magic. Yeah.

That is really what I'm there for. Yeah. Less porn, more magic. Yeah. Well, quite right. It's very natural. I know it's the human body, but I don't really want to see it mixed up with the magic. Yeah, I think like if we had in the way that we kind of said it is quite inventive, it's sort of putting it in with the magic, but this was, this felt tacked on. That's my review. Don't give them that review. I think that has become a thing in the magic community because I saw a Harry Potter magic show and it's obviously a bloke doing his magic show.

but with a blazer on. Oh, I see. Yeah. So I think it's a thing that magicians have thought we can tie any old popular theme to this, then go on and do our regular stuff. Are you quite, well, do you know quite a lot of people in it, as you call it, the magic community? I reckon you do, don't you? I used to know quite, I used to know a lot of the Wolverhampton Magic Circle. Yeah.

But that's very good. Name dropping. I was in a, I was in a, I was in a, I was in a, I was in a, I was a, in a restaurant, Darth, he was one of them. I was in a restaurant and this guy got me, you know, sign your card and all that. And then he suddenly threw his hands in the air and the card disappeared. And I said, wow, that was. And he said, and he pointed up and stocked to the ceiling.

Amazing. Was my card with my signature on. But it was slightly impaired by the fact is the magic circle always booked. the same table. So there was like 40 cards still up there from previous victims. It was almost a pack of cards. But no, I'm utterly fascinated by, I have to say.

There was a great magician who came to London a few months ago called ASY Wind, ASI. Oh, yes. Did you see him? I didn't see him, but I got a leaflet. And of course I remember because he's called Ashy Wind. Not the year of our Lord, 2025. You've got leaflets.

Look, Max is just back from Edinburgh. I'm trying to break her in gently. Thank you. I appreciate it. Did you go and see us? I saw it, yeah. My dad loves magic. He took us and he paid for the VIP experience where we got to see him do close-up magic afterwards.

Oh, wow. And it was amazing because there was a guy, you all sat around at like a circular table and he's doing sort of mostly card stuff. and there was one guy who was sort of whispering to his girlfriend and the magician was sort of like oh you know how to do this trick do you and the guy was like I'm just explaining to her about forcing

and Assy was like oh you think I forced it and then he basically did this whole trick and there's basically like showing to the guy and the guy got absolutely like made a fool of and it was really electric great although that's a comic you would agree if you spoke to someone in the first front row

when he said I was just telling my girl friend about forcing, you'd get 25 minutes out of it. Yeah, yeah. But I love it. I love magic. There's a guy called Jim the magician who goes around the Pleasant's courtyard tables, and he did a trick a bit like the one you're saying, where you sign a card and then he takes the card away, then he gives you a Mars bar and the card is inside the Mars bar. I mean, it's incredible.

And do you get a Mars bar? Yeah. It's like this day doesn't get any better than me. Got a bit of cardboard, is it? Is it a fun size or regular? Regular? Okay. Yeah, because it's got to fit a whole card in it.

Okay, fine. So, yeah, that's... That's quite a good bargain. Do you know any magic tricks? Strange chat up, right? No, my son knows a few. Does he? He's got to...

He had this kit that his granddad bought him, And what the punch line is he's doing it with a baseball cap on and he takes his the cap off and it's printed, the cards printed on the inside of the cap. That's great. Yeah. Even just being told about magic tricks. Well, what I do with them is I watch a magic trick.

And then by the time I've explained it to someone else, I've made it more, I've added some things that were impossible. I just, I just, I never want to know. I went and saw Darren Brown. and I went backstage and said, I just walked in and went, don't tell me. I mean, he wouldn't have anyway,

but I just, I don't want to know, I love it. My dad, whereas my dad will sit next to me and he'll explain how it's all done the whole time he really wants to know. When we saw Darren Brown, that's what he was doing. Oh, no, I don't want that. Yeah. How I avoid that is.

I don't know how you've been on with the Willies. That's how I avoid that, Frank. I just don't go. No, I know. That's sensible. Do you know what it is, man? One thing I really don't like is when you're passionate about something

and I know Frank's going to go, you've got on a cheek after dot two but I know when you really like something and someone says I hate that so I'm not going to do that I think there's a reason I don't like magic I grew up in the 70s and I just think of sort of nylon waistcoats

on a 70s variety show and deal deal deal and it makes me feel a bit ill I wouldn't say that's completely disappeared I'd say that's been retained There's still a lot of nylon around, though. That's why I can't bet. I think it's the fabric. You want linen magicians.

I just want a slightly more nice cloth. I think they need a waistcoat as a like, you know, shelving. Right. For various things they're taking out and make and disappear. And if you're going to wear a waistcoat and you're a magician, you think it needs to be bricked. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Do you like David Copperfield then, both of you? Is he cancelled now? I don't think. Oh, yeah. I don't know. Someone said it was a smite. Oh, Frank.

That's a great joke. I don't think I'm thinking of the right person. He went out with... He's like a Charles Dickens captain. He is a Charles Dickens captain. He's also... He's also a magician. Oh.

Yes. And one of those Las Vegas magicians. Oh, okay, okay. He flies on holding out for a hero video. I'm holding out for a hero, holding out for an hero. He would do those ridiculous... To come around you. This is probably going to be generational,

but I know holding out for a hero from when they sing it in Shrek. Yeah, fair enough. Well, the video, he's sitting, David Copperfield is sitting in the full lotus position flying over the Grand Canyon. Wow. A lot of his tricks involve things like tonight I will. do something, it always involved

the Bermuda Triangle, Frank, didn't it? Really? He liked the Bermuda Triangle. Of course, so did the adult one, apparently. Yes. Oh, cool. This is what your audience wants. Yeah.

I saw him, this is all that I have to. Go back to your roots. Go back to your roots. I saw him at, I can't remember where, but he flew and he made it snow. It was the 70s. What do you mean? He flew, and he was like flying through hoops and that.

He couldn't possibly work out where the strings were. You couldn't see anything. It really was, I mean, you know that the old Superman, you'll believe that a man can fly. And when he made it snow, it really did feel, it wasn't like soap sods, it really felt like proper snow. But have you added this in? Almost certainly.

He probably just jumped at one stage. He jumped over a milking stall And I've got him flying around the theatre Outside hovering over the tube station Had a bit of dandruff Yeah, that was Copperfield My, my Oh I went, speaking of entertainment

I saw Every Brilliant Thing What's this? Well, do you remember many, many years ago? when we saw Mark Little in a thing called Where's My Spear or something like that? Sorry, it wasn't called Where's My Spear, Frank? What was it called? It's because it was called something like The Caveman Chronicles or something.

No, it was. It had spear in it. It didn't have spear. He was carrying a spear. But it was called something like Matt, it was about, it was, I, think that is closer to it. I'm going to go with the caveman chronicles. The caveman is the caveman or something. I'm going to ask

the team to look it off. It wasn't called Where's My Spear? You'll see. Anyway, Do you want to explain to Mages what it was? Well, he was what it was. I think as a stand-up comedian and an actor, you might find this interesting. Because

he came on and talked about how the role of men changed in society. Yeah. Okay. But it sounded like stand-up. And I thought this is Mark Little's stand-ups.

Right. And it had things like, you know, I'm doing the right stuff. I got a letter, I'm doing the right stuff this afternoon and all, like, personal stuff. I then found out, because we went together. We did. We loved it, didn't we?

Yeah, it was one of the greatest nights of our life. Yeah. And then we found out that it's a show. It's like someone wrote it. Oh, okay. What's it called? Someone's old of it's called Defending the Cave Man. But what are you going to defend it with?

A fucking Spear. You know what, Frank? I like to think that was the subheading. I think all the posters, it said, Defending the caveman, polon, where's my spirit? Yeah. I like that you think of it as some raccoony farce. Like, when did you last see your trousers?

Where's my spirit? When did you last see your saber-toothed tiger skin? At the magic show. That's when I saw my sphere. That's when I saw someone else's spear. Yeah. Go on then. So, you remember that.

We were sort of confused by it because Yeah. Frank you did say, was it a comedy? Yeah. But it felt like it was very much his own experience. But it was written by someone else. It was written by someone else. But not for him.

Yeah. It had been done by lots of different male performers. Right, right. And so then I went and saw every brilliant thing was Lenny Henry. Ah, okay. And I was, first of all, I messed up. I got there. I was on the red carpet.

And they said, right, what are you looking forward to tonight? I said, well, I really like Lenny Henry. So I've really made, I don't know anything about what I'm going to see. I've just come to see Lenny Henry. It's a blank page. I said I quite like going to the theatre and not really knowing what it's going to be. But I know I'm coming because it's Lenny Henry. And I thought, they'll be happy with that, praising of Lenny.

And the guy interviewing me went, I can't really use that. Wow. I said, well, there's different people doing it this week, it's not just Lenny. I said, oh, well, I didn't, you said, well, maybe I could see you after and we could, yeah. Well, aren't you a teacher? You know, I said, well, I don't know what you asked me about it on the way in. Yeah. I mean, what am I supposed to prep the Red Cock?

What do you send me some, send me some notes on it? God, yeah, that is strange. What are you looking forward to about tonight? And how are you meant to know that? Exactly. They always interview on the way into these things. But often they have like, you know, little gimmicky things they do. They don't ask, but I didn't know.

Like there's all sorts of Sue Perkins is doing it. Hang on, is it like the vagina monologues? I'd hear who's doing it, mini-driver. Oh. And the commander's doing it. I bet we get there on the night and it starts late and they'll say she's five minutes away. Very good.

So it's a bit like this caveman thing. So it's Lenny Henry, but you know, you all know this, Max, crowdwork has basically taken over the world. Yeah, yeah. That's all anyone cares about. This is a sort of crowdwork play. So I've been reading about this, by the way. So is this that this idea that young comics focus,

a lot of the comedy is based around crowdwork? Is that right? Things are moving in that direction. I think people feel, well, Max, you're closer to the phenomenon than I am, probably. Oh, I don't know. If you, well, I would say that there's definitely lots of it going viral online. Okay. So I think you definitely have more audiences now expecting that to be a massive part of the show.

Got it. I think people want to put clips online to become more famous comedians and they don't want to use up all their material. Yeah, exactly. So they'd rather humiliate a member of the polls. That's the deal. Got it, okay. Yeah.

And so, but don't get me wrong, he wasn't humiliating anyone, but it was a lot of banter and stuff. It was a very crowd-working kind of a play. But when you go in, he's standing on stage, giving people bits of paper, and moving people about in the audience. Ooh, that sounds like fun. Leaflets about magic.

No, if I wouldn't. He's fliring for his own show. They didn't sell well that night. Yeah. So, oh, God, that would be really depressing. That would be awful. To find out he was giving up. If he got a stand-up show after.

I'll be at the monkey barrel. Oh, man. So he was, what he was doing, I found out later, he was... This is Lenny, by the way. Yeah, Lenny was giving people... We should say, Frank, Sir Lenny, is it now? Yes, Sir Lenny. I'm sorry, I'm just, you know, give him his proper as the man.

But, yeah. So, you know, we talk about... And we wouldn't go a Viscount Admiral, would we? So what he's giving people is things to read out. And the play is a sort of reasons to be cheerful thing. Right. So he will say it's like number 37 and some people will say butterflies on your windowsill on a summer's day.

So it's things like that. And it gets up to like 900. it gets up to a million. They don't do them all. Right. Wow. But they have. So they did that.

And he's obviously brilliant at you, but I don't know what an actor would be like. I don't know if an actor would have the crowd work. So is he doing a lot of this stuff off the top of his head? Yeah, well, it seems, it's hard to tell, of course, with those things. Yeah. But it was, it was 85. Five minutes, no interval, my kind of theatre.

Yeah, in a new like that. Oh, no interval. I fucking hate intervals. Do you? You've got to spend money, that's why. No, but that's it. I don't drink. I don't need an interval.

You know, I can actually experience a night at the theatre as myself. I don't have to take any sort of... Wow, listen to this. I don't have to sedate to watch a theatre show. And people get up... So I'm sitting there and people get up like, come on, it's the interval. And I'm staying in.

The way they look at you. Like, there's a whole big world out there in the foyer. And you're sitting here. No, I think it's quite cool to remain seated during the interval. It's like the people who don't get up when the plane lands. It just suggests that they just stay on it for a minute. I will stay on. I have to get turfed off that plane.

I think it's so embarrassing to be up first. When they haven't opened the doors and they're like etching to get out. They had to stand crouched because of the overhead hangers. They had to stand like rubbish. I wouldn't get up first if we were going down the inflatable slide. I'd still have me heels on right to the very last minute. You hear so much about that inflatable slide, don't you? Yeah, I've never seen.

It's so famous, but I've never seen it. No, I've never. That's hope you never do. Yeah, touch wood. So, yeah, so when they come back from them, the interval as well and look at your life oh you don't know

what you're missing I just think they don't look at you like that and I always think what you should have done is gone to the pub then you wouldn't

have needed this of this terrible interruption to your fabulous also they come back and the wine gives them a little bit of confidence

and so they stink of wine listen we don't judge the non-drink I hate it but they stink of wine and they're a bit jolly

they're a bit overdrod I don't want your jollity. And it's like you don't know what you miss out there. Yeah, I do. I could have gone to the pub. Yeah. I've come here for the actual. I agree.

I'm often in a comedy club. It's there someone sitting there and you think, you should have got, you've picked the wrong night. You should have gone to a pub. You've come to talk to your friend, and you've, in order to impress them, you pretend you've got the focus to get to a comedy night.

But I've never understood, even when I used to drink, I don't drink anymore, when I used to, I never understood people that drunk during, like, the theatre, or they spent a lot of money on tickets or even like a comedy gig. Yeah. Because I wouldn't sit there taking drugs. Why would you do that?

Because you can't appreciate it properly. I don't understand people that drink during theatre. Yeah, I don't. I don't drink either, so. All three of us are in an echo chain. We're right, but I really. We need an alcoholic in to balance this out. But what I did do, and I don't need alcohol.

Well, I am an alcoholic as well, so I feel like that. Oh, right. I've done that, yeah. Fantastic. For this? Yeah. I love fantastic. For the balance.

Max, he's going so badly. He's trying to move it on, thankfully. No, no, I'm all right with it. Fantastic, Frank. I really wanted to, and this is without the help of alcohol, I wanted to shout out some genuine. Yes.

I wish there had been scope for people to actually shout out. They were all the written down ones. Oh, I see. So I'd like to. have shouted out. Finding money in a jacket that you'd forgotten about. It's like one of the most exciting. It's a tenor in the breast pocket. Oh, man, it's great. I even get excited about a pound coin in the well in the car. Do you know there's a little closed cap portion in the car? Sometimes I open it. Do you keep it for tall boots? I tell you what I keep it for, Frank. I keep it for trolleys.

If I do go for an in-person supermarket. Oh, I keep it for parking meters. It's been there quite a while. I can tell you, I'd love to have done the. Rinsing out on the side. I love that in the dentist. I love that. You know what they say, do you want to rinse out on the side?

Oh, I see. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I love that pink juice. Yeah, and just getting all those bits out, you know, oh, man. The forbidden potion. Do you know what I like is when I'm leaving a parking spot, This makes me so happy. And the other driver drives up alongside me, and they mouth.

And I know they're not even properly saying it aloud in the car. They go, are you going? Right. And I think, I feel so drunk with power because I know I am going. And I could potentially change their life in this moment. And I, but I give it about five seconds. I really eke it out. And then you bless them with the news.

I look up. I always say no. Oh, Frank. Well, because I know it'll take me 20. Five minutes to get out the space. I'd want them to wait that long. What would you have shouted, Mags? So, yeah, I think I kind of misunderstood the premise of it a little.

So it has to be something simple. Well, it has to be something that, what makes you happy, simple as that? Having non-breakfast items for breakfast. Oh, I love that. Chips? Chips. Chips would work. Chips would work.

For me, it was per no. Oh, Frank, he really made it depressing. It's so depressing. It was. A lovely chat about chips for breakfast. It did make me happy. I have to say, it did. Oh, that's so depressing. Also, like, my cats wake me up by, like, humming and nuzzling my head.

That's nice. Oh, I love that. Do you get woken up by Poppy? That's Frank's mistress. Yeah. No. She's 16. She's at school by the time I get up.

That is disgusting. It's my dog. I take the other thing that really makes me happy is when I do my fingernail, when I clip my fingernails, I do the right hand first because the left hand's easy to do because I'm all doing.

So I get the hard work, the tricky one. And when I finish that right hand, I think, well, I'm on the home straight. Left hand's going to be a walk in the park. Oh, I've got one. Go on. Getting something stuck in your teeth and you don't have any dental force. So you use a bit of your own hair.

Oh, my God. Oh, no. Never. What there? None of us saw that comic. What there? Do you pull it out? Your hair's quite long.

You just bring it round. No, I take a bit out. Oh. It's an extraordinary thing to say. Okay, I thought this was going to be a sort of observational bit of... Well, no. I think that's really good. I'm going to try it.

Yeah. I'm definitely going to try it. going to try it now? Because how many times do you get caught without floss? Frank, you know what it's like. I know. Well, when poppy's not there, floss comes around standing. Oh, please. That's

interesting. Should we try it? I don't know if my hair's long enough to properly floss there. Right colour. Besides, I always... Do you want a bit of mine? I always... I'd that'd be... That is so sleazy. If I didn't ask, if I just leaned across. You're doing some DNA test?

But not pull it out. Just do it while it's still there. That would show her a blast out you could be. Just carry on talking. I always carry a toothpick at all times. So it couldn't really happen to me. Yeah, I have a bit of dental floss. I actually carry one in my freedom pass holder.

G, L, A, M. The clamour is loud. I'm prepared to prove it. I don't want freedom of the teeth. Oh, wow. It's not even a reusable. They're all reusable to me It's only my teeth

I'm not doing other people Well I think that is I think that's a beautiful thing Getting something out of your teeth What a toothpick in his freedom pass Yeah that is Lenny Henry needed that in his show I wish Frank could chat with that Toothpicking in freedom pass

I love a no-compromise meal deal When everything is the thing that you would have chosen Yes Because often you think I love these crispy sandwich I don't really like this drink. But, you know, it's a meal deal. No compromise meal deal. No, there's no deal, really.

It's just a meal. Meal win. Okay, by the way, the next episode of my poetry podcast is out on Wednesday. This time it's Greta Stoddart. Lovely. Now, Greta Stoddart trained on the Lecoq, which I think a lot of comedians. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. Those magic boys are back again.

Yeah, so she, yeah. You can download it wherever you get. get your podcast. There's a thing called three tulips in a milk bottle that she wrote about and it's about how we impose meaning on things. So someone will see three tulips growing perfectly naturally in a garden but they'll bring them in and put them in a milk bottle and then move them about saying that's not quite right because they want it to look the way they feel it should look and it sort of compares that we're writing a poem but I suppose it can compare it with anything. Okay, I'm just saying it's interesting.

Gretta Stodd, a woman who I would say wears her brain on her sleeve. Oh, love that. Thank you, Max, for joining us. Thank you for having me. Thank you, Max. We loved having you. Thank you so much. It's always nice to see. We should maybe plug our radio four.

Yes, you should. I don't know when it's on, though, do you? And I don't know. Are we allowed to say that? It's called do-gooders. Okay. Season one is already out. Oh, that's, yeah, that's on.

BBC 7. So I can listen to that. So you can listen to that. We're both in it. And season two is... I'm coming out unless something goes really wrong. Yeah. Well, we haven't finished recording. With Frank around. Yeah. I think it'll be all right. I'm not right in it. We're just hired hands. To be honest. You said I think we should promote our thing. And then you said, I think it'll be all right. I mean, we're just hired hands. That's not promoting it. No, it is. I'm just saying we don't have to.

sit and write it, which I've done about you, but I find delightful. Yeah, it's amazing. What a life actor's lead. An actor's life for me. Yeah, but they're just to the easy bit of reading it out. And Lenny Henry didn't even get other people. He got other people to read it out, didn't he? What was he doing? What a life of his car. He's earning money for old rope, Henry. He's getting on a bit now, I suppose. He's thinking, I'm not

doing this on my house. It's like pushing, you know, a wheelbarrow up a hill. It's the Frank Skinner podcast A new winter change is blowing It's the Frank Skinner podcast I'm not totally sure how it's going Thanks for listening to the podcast Make sure to like and follow

So you never miss an episode And if you want to get in touch You can email the podcast via Frank off the radio Atavonuk.com