The Frank Skinner Show - We've Consulted the Show Stenographer

Episode Date: February 27, 2026

Frank and Emily are joined again by Milo Edwards! Frank has been to a film premiere and Cath has given him a note about the pod. Also Milo has put his foot in it about Frank's favourite TV show. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Begin your next chapter. Book your seat at westjet.com or call your travel agent, WestJet, where your story takes off. It's Frank. It's the Frankskinna podcast, don't you know? My partner said to me, I don't know why you have to sing all the time on the front of the podcast, so that's that gone. This is Frank Off the Radio. I'm joined by Emily Dean and Milo. Edwards is with us today.

Follow the podcast on X and Instagram. You can email the podcast via Frank off the radio, tavel on UK.com. As for WhatsApp, 0-7-457, 4-1-7-1-7. Milo? I honestly try to find that. Frank.

Do you move it about every? week. I'm asking the producer. It's like they're being shuffled. Your wife objects to the singing, but not to that jingle. Not to the 69. I don't know if she gets that far into the podcast. She has no objections to the 69. I'm sorry. I'm going to, I actually didn't mean that to come out.

At least we know she's not listening to the podcast back to front. Kath, I apologize. You know I would never say that about you. Although it's not a bad thing to say. It's all a mess. I'm sorry. Well, yeah. So this way, I'm going to be up front. Milo was on obviously last show as well. And Milo said a sentence. Well, I thought there was three words I didn't understand it,

but there was two when I went. I said to the producer, could you do me a transcript of Milo sentence so I can look it up? The Frank Skinner podcast stenographer was called it. But can I say, oh, I'd love those. You know those courtroom stenographers, And they have to look very impassive, like they're not remotely interested in the gory detail.

But their wrists, whenever I watch their wrists, I think, why don't you play ukulele? You'd be great. Anyway. The words. And don't get me wrong. I love people operating at the full extent of their vocabulary. You know, I spent too many years on buses in Birmingham where one of my fellow students would say, what did you think about that bit in Hamlet? And I'd go,

ooh, don't talk about Shakespeare. On the fast we'll be ripped to pieces. So I'm all for that. But there was two words I genuinely had never heard before. Okay. And I think he was saying, I don't want to go too deep into this, and you're a classicist, so I'm on thin ice.

But as I understand it, Socrates, who was a very famous philosopher who never wrote anything down. Love him. Yeah. Plato then wrote up stuff that Socrates had said, and he always makes him great. So it's conversations that they call... I only ever heard called Socratic Dialogues.

And there's some poor students saying, well, I absolutely believe that 69 is a bit messy. And he'd say, oh, do you? And then he will rip him absolutely. Correct me if I'm wrong. So Socrates tears his kid to pieces. But you used a word for those, which I've never heard before. Elencus.

Yeah, I mean that. So Elencus is, that's fascinating. I didn't know that. And is it just the Socrates ones or is it a general? It's most commonly associated with Socrates, but I think it just refers to the process of elucidating the problems with what someone thinks by asking them questions.

It's a bit like cross-examination. Yeah. You don't actually offer your own opinion. You just ask enough questions that someone ties themselves in knots. I think the greatest modern practitioner of this is Jeremy Vine when people phone into his radio shows. He offers no opinions. He just asks them questions that caused them to sort of descend into a pit of madness.

I wonder if that's the first time ever that Jeremy Vine has been compared with Socrates. He's our greatest living broadcaster. That's good. Can we acknowledge that impression? Can we acknowledge that impression? It was good. Thank you. Yeah.

I'd call in if you enjoyed that. I didn't reckon it was the impression. I thought that was just Milo. Did you think Milo would just smoke 20 B&H last night? No, I just thought that was, I couldn't remember what his voice was. Can you not? That's a really solid impression. Oh, sorry, I'm really sorry.

So does this mean my life? You stick to Tommy Cooper, so I know where I'm going. Just like that. But then you said, don't get me wrong, I'm not anodonic, was it? Anhedonic, yeah. Yeah, which, again, I'd never heard before, which means, sort of someone who doesn't experience pleasure. Oh, okay.

Ooh. I'll be using that less. Yeah. The opposite of a head and it. Okay. So does that mean when my father would walk in and we'd be, maybe we're about 10 or 11 gathered with some friends, doing slightly mindless activities?

Right. And he would walk in and say, ah, I see Plato's symposium. Was that rude what he was saying? Yeah, well, so Plato's, this is what's really actually funny about Plato's dialogues is that obviously the vast majority of people have never read them because why would you?

But they're actually really mad. Like you sort of, you'll think it's all people sat there going, well, what is the meaning? of life Socrates, but actually a lot of it is like, what sort of little boys are the best ones to bum? What do you think?

And he's like, well, I think the hairless ones are, there's so much of that. I didn't like that. It's a bit like a consumer magazine. Like which? Yeah.

It's a bit like loaded. There's a big of philosophy, but. Oh, well, different times, of course. It is. They didn't know.

I know, but I don't like that part of Plato's era. Well, you know. I can do without it. You can't impose these at our views on place. He gave us so much and so many other ways. He did. Frank, can I say I really respect you asking that, though,

because a lot of people don't ask. I always ask, there's a word I don't know. But what I don't want anyone to think, especially Milo, is that I'm thinking, well, in a dictionary. I think it's great. I do as well. You can spit out any word you like.

I'll see if I can come up with a difficult one, but I don't know if I've got your armory. We'll see. Let's see. Can I say Milo has already slagged off one of my favourite TV shows of all time. That was so awkward. If you sense attention in the room.

It was so awkward. I didn't say it's like I saw two episodes. What does that mean now? That's like when my sister-in-law, I said, this was years ago, One of the first telly things I ever did. Glad to hear you over it. I said, yeah, I'm not.

You're getting to understand the man. I said, did you see me on Des, did you see me interviewed on Des O'Connor? She said, I saw the first bit. Okay. She doesn't know. The last bit would have been fine, but the first bit.

We should establish this was severance that was being discussed before we were on air. Yes. And you did add a caveat. You did say, by the way, this is my favourite show. Did I?

Yeah, you did afterwards and so, Milo, you did know that going in and I kind of respected you. It's fine. I thought, no, I'm pretty sure he said that after I said I've seen 20%. Oh, did you? Okay. But I'm also not a coward and you're right to assume that. I don't need to think it was a trap.

It definitely was not. But then having said that, Frank. I love having said that. Often in old football manager terms, often followed by at the end of the day. At the end of the day, Milo did say he loved the Sopranos. It was one of his favourite shows.

And what do we think of the Sopranos? No, no likey. No. And we won't budge on that. Okay, fair enough. Well, there we go. So we're all different. That's what we've established here.

Yeah, what are we? Tremendous. The appropriate football cliche for Severance would be it's a game of two halves. That is very, very good. There we go. Yeah. If you're not laughing, you are learning.

No. I was looking at you saying, that's really funny. In perfect silence. They were stunned to silence by the quality of my joke there. I want that on record for the listeners. Just in case you think they simply didn't laugh.

It's a good concept to fall back on. I wish I'd add that at my fingertips when I did the Isle of Man. Frank did a gig that didn't go very well on there. Oh, let's not talk about it. Well, I was about to follow us with, but we shall never speak of it again. Right, okay.

Apparently, Novelli goes really badly there because... Oh, really? What? Yeah. Why? I don't know because people, it's not such a good gimmick if you're from there, I think. But you do one in Birmingham, do you not?

I do. I put it to you, sir. I'm a grandmaster in comedy terms. Oh my goodness me. All right. Yeah. Any road up, have we heard from Alfrisco Mond. We have Eddie from Colesdon.

Eddie from Coolston, I tried to install Oh, don't. Myelow, I tried to install Colston as a term. Right. You know, people used to say Coolio at one point for Cool. And I thought Colston is better. Okay, Colston. And I really started throwing it about in conversation.

He got nothing back. In fact, I might have at one point said, Frank, stop trying to make Coolston happen. Right. He kept saying Colston. It's a shame. He'd throw it into conversation. It didn't take off. I don't know where Coolston is.

It's South London, Frank. Is it near Pearly Way? Don't ever ask me where anything is. He's got no sense of direction. I can't find my own home. It's near, it's on the, I all sets on the way to Brighton. Okay.

Very Londoner thing to say, but yeah. So Eddie from Coolston has been in touch. I listened with interest to Emily's free-for-all cloak-crum story. Do you remember that? I was telling you recently. Oh, yes, everyone just helped herself to the coach. It was the New Year's Eve party, and it was every man and woman for herself.

And I went home with a random coat. I do apologise to whoever's coat that was, but they got a coat as well. It all evened itself out. Apparently... And I compared it to the dog's parliament, a long poem about why dogs sniff each other's arson. Oh, right, yes.

Yes. Do you reckon anyone's ever been to a swingers party and thought, well, this will never do? How will I get my car back? Yeah. I don't want some random car. Completely misunderstood. the concept.

I think how am I going to get my car back most weeks? So I've given me back one with a parcel shelf in it. That can't be mine. Oh no, don't give me that. I want to get broken into. So apparently, a similar thing happens to John Travolta's character in the film Get Shorty. I've seen Get Shorty. Yeah, I don't remember this.

In the film, Travolta's character, Chili Palmer, finds out who took his coat. drives to the address, knocks on the door, and punches him straight in the face when he opens the door. He then walks in, picks up his coat and leaves without saying a word. I'm not sure exactly what you can take from this, but I thought I'd mention it as a possible research source should it ever happen again. Elmore Leonard, was it, who wrote Get Shorty.

I was it? Okay, that sounds right. It's a great name, though, Elmore Leonard. I saw Elmore Leonard interviewed at the BFI. is an old man and someone asked him about they wanted to turn one of his films into a spaghetti western and he said a spaghetti west

and I said what what is that a spaghetti western doesn't make any sense it's like a pineapple pizza and I thought it's a pretty good then I was it and then later on it went to a Q&I and someone asked him about Westerns and said well I got a phone call asking if I wanted to do a spaghetti western

and I thought, we all went, you're not, you're not, oh, you're Elmore. And he said, and I thought, what's a spaghetti West? We were still thinking, please turn, please turn off at the last minute, well closed. And he said, yeah, it's like a pineapple pizza. And you could see his face like, this normally goes really well the pineapple pizza,

like what's wrong with this? Oh, no. It was awful. Oh, well. A few people, a few, you know, film enthusiasts tried to laugh again. But, you know, badly. I did their best. It was that that joke I made earlier.

It was sort of, they were stunned to silence. I thought it was a good joke. What was this the swingers joke? Game of two halves. Oh, the game of two halves. There have been so many. I mean, that's a game of two halves, the swingers party. We've also heard from Castubor Dosa.

Hello, Mr. Frank. Pazzle brush. I hope you are well. My two, and she calls me Mr. Frank. What, Omar? Yeah. In homage to Basil Bras. No.

Really? I don't know where it came from, but I like it. There is something inherently comical about Mr. Frank. Like Mr. Skinner's too onerific. He sort of downgraded you slightly. It sounds slightly carry on for Mr. Frank. We're too close. We're too close for...

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not close enough for Frank. Not close enough for Frank. No. As I say, this is an employee. Yeah, of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've got to maintain a bit of distance.

You've got to keep that gap. Do you think so? Oh, God. I remember rude Hulley when he became player manager, said he pulled up at the training ground that that Monday, he was a player when he'd been there on Friday, and now he was a player manager. And he saw some of the players falling around on the pitch

and thought, I can't, that's not me. That's them now. And I'm me. Mm. Yeah. Well, he wouldn't want to be rude. I think he did. I think we all did.

I got the joke. Thank you, yeah. I hope so. If you didn't get that joke, that would be a struggle. Anyway. Castubidoza. Hello, Mr. Frank. I hope you are well.

I was hoping you would sponsor books. If you could respond at your earliest convenience, I'd really appreciate it. Thank you. Okay. No. I don't know what he means. Does he mean the concept of books?

For just two pounds a month. Some of these books are languishing in the Oxfam shop. You could sponsor them. I'm not going to name names, but the idea of swapping telephone numbers with a fellow comedian came up recently. And I said, I'll do it. As long as you solemnly promised me,

you'll never ask me to do a charity. Oh, did you? Yeah. And I accepted those terms. I like that you're adding conditions to the exchange of phone numbers. Why not? But that's the worst text you can get. I'll do it.

Specifically that you weren't doing charity work. He said, I'll do it, but I'll do it. If you've got paid work, do send it my way. I'm not as busy as I used to be. All right. Wow. Blimey. How did the comic take this?

Was he okay, was it? These Oxbridge types, they never completely look at us at the same level. How did the comic take that caveat? No, they accepted that that was the deal. Okay. Well, there might be the beginning of a beautiful friendship in that case. I'm not great at friendship, you know. Beautiful friendship.

I am simply incapable of. Well, you told us earlier that you got offered hole in the wall. I did. I was shocked that you turned down. No, that was in a gay club in the 1990. Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. It's not so much the hole as who's on the other side of it.

You've got to worry about it. Yeah, well, I think it's best to never know. Goodness me. Yes, I was offered. When it switched. Who was presenting it? Was it Dale Winter originally? Was Anton?

Anton Debeck. got it. I turned it down and they gave it to Anton DeBec. It's just amazing that that's the next person they called was Anton DeBek. We've sat in many... Frank Skidder's not available. Get to Beck on the line. It's the next best thing. Me and Anton have sat in many waiting rooms at auditions

for the same part. Why do you think people see a similar energy to... I don't know, but we did go out with the same one, as well. I was going to point that out. So me and Anton, virtually interchangeable, but I can dance. I can't know. It's kind of like a severance set up, you and that.

You're the inn here. I don't know who's the Indian and who's the outy, but... Yeah, wow. Anton Tebeck is trying to escape from the hell that he lives in. Yeah. Oh, Anton. I think Andon's rumors that he might get the presenting job on street. Oh, really?

He will, yes, that would make sense, wouldn't it? Well, he is sort of Bruce Forsyth, isn't he? Who else? They mentioned Alan Carr as well. Have they? Okay. That would make sense. I don't know if he would want to leave his castle. Oh, has he bought a real castle?

He's bought an actual castle. He's done so. I love it when they do well for themselves. You know when you see these things and they say, oh, and they've bought a castle in Scotland, it's like £850,000. And you think, okay. I forgot, I lived in London. It'd be a lot of maintenance bills on that.

That much for a garage. Were you reading in the daily mail where they always mention someone's house price whenever they're quoted? It's always Mr Carr speaking in front of his $850,000. That's when you know that the consent is being manufactured against you. If they start mentioning your house price in the paper, you're for it.

And it's often, they never refer to North London without saying a leafy North London suburb. Oh yeah. Mr Skinner, speaking from, of his £850 pound parcel shelf. In fact, they did say the... 805 pounds. Oh, okay, yeah.

God, God, don't encourage people to steal them even more. When they mentioned Frank's parcel shelf theft, in numerous newspapers, they did say, Skinner, who lives in affluent middle class, North London, and South London. Did they? Okay. Yeah, because most of us don't even have a parcel.

Exactly. Our parcels are just on the floor. Not even got a parcel, mate. Yeah. Look at him living the high life, parcel shelves and the like. Who does he think he is? Yeah, you're right. Well, not anymore.

Not anymore, Frank. I went to a film premiere recently. It was Epic Elvis. Do you know it? That sounds exciting. I would never call the film. I'd never have the word. epic in a film title because it's begging for a critic to say epic fail it's quite Elon Musk the

word epic I think yeah so there was a and at the beginning there was a sort of a bit of a Q&A but not with chairs just standing up at the front and it was at the iMacs you know so it's like a big massive screen so it was Mark Komode interviewing Baz Luhrmann right okay first time it ever had to me because I think of, am I right? Bazel Lerman is seen as a super cool director. Yes, I would say so. But he's called Baz. It's the first time it occurred to me.

How does this happen? Do you know, as the Australians, it will happen with Australia? His name's not Barry. Is it not Barry? That really pissed me off. Barrington? No, it's not even a, it's not even a Barry analogue. It's a totally, it's a name that would not shorten to Baz.

I can't remember what his actual name is, but it's not Barry. And I felt very cheated by that when I found it now. What is that then? And I assumed he's the Australian. Yeah. Yeah. So, I mean, the Barry thing, come on. Fair enough to assume.

You think he's a real bastard. Yeah. They call him that for sure. Baz is quite conservative for an Australian. You don't know his real name though. We'll look it up. We'll find out what it is. Anyway, there are podcasts where the team would already be holding up their phones with the answer on.

Yeah, yeah. Tell us about epic Elvis. Well, the great thing about the interview. Well, first of all, all I could look at. Could I just say, I'm so sorry, Frank. Just while, strike while they aren't thought, it's Basmark. Basmark?

Basmark. As in Sinkler, Basmark. As in Bismarck. As in Bismarck. Osmond, Bazmark. Hold on. You said it's not shorter. I didn't. Why didn't he go for Mark? It could have gone for Mark.

Mark could have been a lot. He went for the shortened form of bastards. Philo said, you know, it's not the sort of name you'd shortened to Bas. No, Bazmark. It's the sort of name you'd shorten to Mark. His full name is Basmark, Anthony Bazelerman. This feels made up. His name can't be Basmark.

I've never met a Basmark. How is his name Basmark and I didn't remember that? How did that not stick in my mind? He's an otter, isn't he? It's said, this has got to be a wind up. Yeah, no, but the parents weren't allowed to do his name. He had to do it. He's the showrunner of his life.

My parents just really loved the second round. Apparently, can I just give you a little bit of information? He started getting called Baz at school because his hairstyle, it said the name came from the puppet character, Basil Brush. No, hold on a minute. His name is Bazmark, but the nickname Baz name is Baz Mark, but the nickname Baz came from the fact he looked like Basil Brush. Nothing to do with being called Baz Mark. I'm continuing here, Lerman changed his name by deed poll to Basmark. It happened later.

I chose more of a BAS registered trademark. That's even more mad. He chose the name BASmark. Yeah, he chose BASMark. He's a colourful character. Funnily enough, Buz Aldrin changed his name by Dede Palt to Boz. What was his real name? Edwin Aldrin.

But he was known as Boz because he was a lively character. But now he's called boss probably. And Buz Bazz is a theme. Anyway, what I loved about, and what I was staring at throughout was what was dangling from his midriff. Oh. Comodes or? No. Basmarks.

Basmark had got, you know when blokes. He'll forever be called that. You know when blokes have a chain hanging off their belt with like their keys on? Oh, I know that. Well, he had one. And he had what looked like keys, a phone pouch. What? What looked like a, you know a poo bag container that when you take your dog out?

He looked like he had like one of those. How old is he that he has to carry poo bags on his belt? In case there wasn't a toilet. Yeah. And he had another thing which I think looked like it might have been a small notepad or something of that. Maybe a pageer. Police constable. Obviously, he could have had a.

pager. Oh yeah. I keep getting messages from 1997. If there's an emergency in the edit, he has to be available at all times.

But I just kept... That's why you changed to BASmark on a pager. I think it might have been a wallet, not a notebook. I think it was

Keyes wallet poo bag container. Right, okay. The three things you check for when you leave the house. That is what I always say to myself. I have it written on my fridge. He's 63 Basmark,

by the way. But the chain, same was 18 inches long. It was a very, very strange look. I don't need those kind of a detail.

And then he started talking about, it's like an... You know he made the film about Elvis? Yeah. The drama. Oh yes. And during which

he saw lots of footage that hadn't been used from other live concert movies. So I know he's turned that into it. And I loved it. It was great. But he was telling this story and a woman at the Iron

Max went, oh, move on. I thought Bass, Bass is not. He's not used to this, Julie. Sorry, we've got to have suffering. Bass got heckled. Yeah. And he said, well, okay, I'll try to move it a long a bit. And Mark Komode said, no, no, no, you take as long as you like, Baz.

It was all of it. Astag all. And then he said, right, when we showed this film in Australia the first time, when Elvis punches the air, which he does a few times, the entire audience gets crazy. He said, and at the end,

over the credits, we play loads of Elvis music, and it was like a disco, people got on dance, so feel, you know, let's have that happening tonight. Neither of which were observed. I mean, past,

most to wish he hadn't come. We're not Australians. He sat. I think what was, A pity sake. You know, they've all seen the film 20 times that will get to a premiere? Oh, yeah.

But he came and sat on the stairs right by me and watched like the first 45 minutes just sitting on the floor. Did he? Just, I think, take the weight off his chain. He's saying, I saw the first 45 minutes about his own film. Yeah, exactly.

I'm sure he's seen it before. Why did you leave, Baz? It was great, though. He's got a lot of weight he's carrying around his mid-area. so he needs to rest his feet. What if he fell in water? He wouldn't stand that. Unless he's got a quick release mechanism.

So, I mean, aside from that woman's comments, apart from that, how was the play, Mrs. Lincoln? Well, the film was good. Was it? Yeah, it was good. There was a great gospel music section, which I sensed cause distinct unease around me because there were songs with the word Jesus in and stuff.

And these were people who are full of... extent of their theology is saying, oh, M.G. And I was like, oh, we don't want, we don't want none of this religious stuff. Let's get back to him being, those bits. Elvis would just go into the audience. And I'd obviously seen this. I'm a big Elvis fan, Milo. Elvis would go into the audience in the 70s and properly snog women on the man.

Did it? Yeah. I mean, really properly. And you could see him grading them as well. So the ring of hot women got an absolute really big mouth kiss. Would he at least say thank you very much? And then what he was saying? He's still doing the song into their mouth. But then sorts of women who you would say were not as outstandingly attractive.

Maybe a bit more old than John hair. They got less. A bit more old than John hair. You could see him giving them less. I thought that he shouldn't have done that. You've got to give them all the same. And also, it's like children. You've got your favourites, but you snogged all the same.

The sexual assault has to be fairly evened out. He did poke Salad Annie, do you know that song? I don't actually find. It's written by a bloke called Tony Joe White. And it's very, very swampy, southern... Down in Louisiana. It's really sort of... With the guitar...

Cast off listening now, it's all right. Yeah, she's gone. Yeah. She's going to go back. She cat went 20 minutes. But it meant me thinking, oh God, if he'd gone down this road instead of covering fucking bridge over Trumbull Water, he could have been. I'll tell you what he didn't happen to Elvis.

He didn't meet his Rick Ruben. Oh. Yes, he was a solo character. And I've always think, I wonder if I might still meet my Rick Rubin. Always Burb. Well, you've had that. You've had your David Bidiel. No, but Rick Ruben was a guy.

came up to Johnny Cash. Do you know this story, Milo? No. Big bloke in a beard approaches Johnny Cash at the party and said, what the fuck are you doing,

doing Christmas albums and stuff? You're Johnny Cash? Really? Come with me and we'll make some proper Johnny Cash albums. Oh, I see. And it was really stripped down bare stuff.

That's like sort of the hurt era Johnny Cash, is it? Yeah, it's a culminating. What would the Rick Ruben say to you then, do you think? Well, he'd say, look, you know. Don't wear the fucking glasses. Get back to the knob jokes.

That's what people want. Cox and football. That's who they want out there. I really don't like this. You got to stop a good... They don't know what you're talking about. Fucking Socrates! Movie premieres and parcel shelves.

You're too far from you. Cooroutes, Frank. Leafy North London suburbs. Your fans are scums. Yeah, but you know what it is, Rich. They want stories about shit on the bus. You're hanging out in Leafy North London. Bears?

Basmark? Your name chicken fucking Basmark? Sorry, sorry, Rick. When you put it like this, I see my error. Talking about his 18-inch Bend it.

And also, I don't like it when Elvis does jokes on stage. Oh, I can't bear it. It's the same reason my wife doesn't like it when I do songs. Yeah. He did what, you know,

are you lonesome tonight? You're familiar with that song. Are you lonesome? And he sings that. where he laughs Frank in the middle or something. Well, there's a bit, it's a terrible bit in the film, which I wish they hadn't put in, when he says that there's a bit about,

do you look guys at your doorstep and picture me there? And then he says, do you look at your bald head and wish you had hair? And it gets a big laugh from all the bands. Oh, it's a bit silly. And you think, no. Come on, mate. What's the one when he starts laughing

in the middle of the song, Frank? Oh, there's a song that's just him. laughing. I can't remember what he doesn't actually sing it. It's just him laughing for like three minutes. Was he strung out? I don't think he was strong out. Oh.

I think he was still laughing at the ball joke. Could you briefly explain to Milo what we're strong out is and any new listeners? Well, I used to have lots of bootleg live albums of Elvis. Right, okay. In one of them, he says, So I just want to take a moment out now. And he says, there's a story. I read about me in a magazine, so-called magazine.

So called. He said I was strung out. Strong out! And he says, I've never been strong out on anything except music. And it's like a big. He said, and people... While sweating, profusying his words. And then he went on about the story and he says,

you know where these stories come from. People in hotels are hanging around, working. It was guys who carry your bags And he starts going And at the end People working Doing their jobs Working

And then at the end Give it to the neck The guys who carry the bags They've had it too easy Even too long You can't trust these people They'll carry your bags Tolerating his dirty sheets

They're awful mama At the end, he says, They just want two dollars. He says, if I found a guy who wrote that I was strong out, I will rip off his goddamn head. And the crowd reads a massive round of applause and he's Elvis says,

favor of much. It's one of the greatest things that's ever happened. But Elvis is like the mad element of Elvis. one's great about it as well. That feels like a speech that like Gaddafi would have given or something. Well, it's also so perfect that he sounds unbelievably strung out during it. There's another speech where he goes systematically through his jewellery. Say what it is, where he got him from and how much it costs?

Is he defending it or something? I got this train from a bass mark Blumen. It's a beautiful 18-inch. The Daily Mail journalist in the audience is totally preempt. So Elvis has already done all the pricing. He used to have a bloke could visit him on tour. I would open an attache case and he'd just be loads of jewellery. And I always said, oh, that one, and or that one.

And then he'd go off. Well, he used to, when he was dating Ginger, didn't, isn't there one bit like... I think it was H. Samuel, the name of the bloke. A Mr. Fish Brothers. When he was dating ginger in one gig... What is Fish Brothers? That's another chain. I'm going to get it out eventually.

Sorry. Look, you know, that's this show. It's like doing comedy through a fucking pork collie. I keep making these intellectual references like Fish Brothers. I don't know what? Do you know Fish Brothers? I don't. It might be a smaller chain than I think. It's just a bad jeweler.

If Emily doesn't know a jewelry chain. Sponsoring us this week. It's not the sort of place Emily would go. I don't wish to be rude, but are they a high street jeweller? It's a slightly smaller chain than Basmar. Yeah, absolutely. Not as many links. No.

Everything is a smaller chain than Basmart. Yeah, you could moor the QE2 with it. I've always thought the QE2 was very moorish. Oh, lovely. I enjoyed it. I don't know Fish and Sons. It doesn't sound, how can I put this? Oh, Fish Brothers.

It doesn't sound very... I like fish and songs. That's like some fish that have decided to turn the tables on fish monkeys. What was the Scottish band? And they're selling cannibal meat. Fish and Sons. It doesn't sound very aspirational if you don't might be saying. What was the Scottish band where Fish was the lead singer?

Merillian. Oh, well, there you go. Maybe it's his shop. Maybe. Yeah. Merillian sounds like they've got a government contract for prisons. Have you ever heard of Marillion? They're embezzling all the money

and giving it to their shareholders. The prisoners are eating crackers. Oh dear. And it'll come out at a public inquiry in 10 years' time. Can we say that this is a joke and not any shade being thrown on Marillion a very popular music? If anyone says any different,

I'll cut their gun and tongue out by the roots. Thank you very much. Good up for my support by a Merillion. Hangin' round working. I picked him up a for some prison. That was Johnny Cash. He did do a prison though, didn't he Elvis, but was it a different one? Did he do a prison?

He never did a prison prison. Why did he not? I thought he did. He did jailhouse for a house, but that wasn't really a prison gig. Oh, right, okay. No, that was more a sort of Paddington idea of a prison, wasn't it? That was Paddington prison. Johnny was the, Johnny Cash was the prisons. That's the problem. Paddington glamorises prisons.

It's not good. Yeah, you're not getting marmalade sandwich. is in there. No. Well, unless it's some terrible you for you.

Oh, God, Frank. Frank. It's the Frank Skinner podcast. A new winter change is blowing. It's the Frank

Skinner podcast. I'm not totally sure how it's going. Thanks for listening to the podcast. Make sure to like and follow

so you never miss an episode. And if you want to get in touch, you can email the podcast via Frank off the radio at Avalonuk.com.