The Frank Skinner Show - White Satin Robe

Episode Date: August 22, 2025

This week Frank and Emily are joined by Zoe Lyons! Frank has had an incident on the Tube and has been to a festival with Buzz. There's also correspondence about the "adult" entertainment debate and a surprising framed photo at a Trump press conference. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It's Frank off the radio, featuring him and that posh radio, and the one with the French name who from South Africa came, they're all here open brackets to rain, close brackets, today. Ah, figure hi, figure lo, figure he, figure he, figure here, figure ho. This is Frank off the radio. I'm joined by Emily Dean, and Zally Lyons is with us today. Last week we had a guest and the producer crossed out Pierre Navelli and wrote their name, but she hasn't bothered with you. So I'm just glad at my age I remembered. So follow the podcast on X and Instagram.

You can email the podcast via Frank Off the Radio, Avalonukk.com. Now, I don't know if you're aware of this, Zoe Lyons, but we have people send in jingles so I don't have to read out the somewhat tedious WhatsApp number. Right. So this is our WhatsApp. Here's an example. Oh, 7457, 417-4-1-7-6-9. Oh, 7-457-4-1-7-6-9.

Oh, I like that. It's all right, isn't it? It's got a bit of a hot chip feel to it. Yes, it has got a hot chip feel. Yes. I like that it's borderline sleazy. What I don't like is a green chip, which I see less of now. Yeah, you know, green chips are very much available in the 80s, weren't they?

Yeah, but what's have? Have they improved potato production? Have you ever had a purple chip? Oh, I don't like that. No, I don't think I've had a purple. Tinge of purple on my fry. I don't want that. You used to get it on bacon rinds sometimes

where they stamp the carcass. Oh, yes. Yeah. Yeah, but it's only just to occur to me that the black and green potato has virtually been eradicated. As has all sort of interesting faults and stuff as we've steadily become more standardised in the 21st century.

Emoginized chips. Yeah, there you go. Emoginized chips will be a great surname for an American billionaire son. Yeah. So Elmer, Amogynized Chips, the third. So, look, I had an incident. Oh, God.

Oh, welcome, Zoe, by the way. Oh, thanks for having me. Thanks for joining us. You're still in Brighton? I am. She's my favourite, third lion. Am I? See, when I think of Brighton, I think,

eh! That's how he's singing voice, as we established earlier. So we can't sing. I didn't know that, Brian. We don't have to, come on, tell us your sad anecdote. Oh, God. I'll tell you what happened to me this morning. At drama school, many, many years ago, we were,

they don't call it homogenising, do they? Harmonising, that's what they call it. That was your first problem. That's where you went to the dairy, you're thinking. We were doing a class of the Fumachianizing. And it turns out my voice is curdled. That awful thing happened with, the music teacher, I could see him sort of twitching in one eye

as we were sort of trying to harmonise and clearly something was off. And he went, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. I want everybody to do this one by one. And I thought, oh, that's it, I'm rumbled. I'm completely rumbled. That's cruel, isn't it? I mean, a choir is there to protect the week.

Yeah, it's an airbag. bag around non-talent. It's very cruel, but I thoroughly approve of it. Oh, it was very exposing and I never forgot it. Years later, I did a play, and I had to sing a song at the end of the play. And for about half an hour before we approached the song, I could feel the anxiety from my knees just dribble all the way. Oh, my God, it was just awful.

Was it a challenging song? It was a pretty challenging song. Could you do a Rex Harrison with it? I could do it through. You can always do a Rex. Yeah. There's a CEO of a big Chinese company, and I can't know what the company he is.

And every year he puts on a concert for his own employees. Of him singing. Of him singing. And he's so confident with no talent. And I had to sort of channel him. Yeah. I channeled the energies of a Chinese billionaire to get through that song. That's great.

Yeah. Do you remember there used to be a thing that used to be on the telly, Maybe they've stopped doing it now, that the Japanese would start their week by singing the employees would gather and sing the company's song. Would they? Yeah. What's not?

Do we have to sing, oh, servant. Yeah. I would like the idea of us getting a company song, which we start the shows with. Although when Novelli's back, he won't do his two male. Yeah. He would do it. He would need, consider it beneath his dignity. What about a nice South African one?

What? Can you imagine him doing that? Yeah, in the background. He could do the Wimber Ways. Do you know he's built a bit like that guy? What guy? Do you remember the guy who sung in the jungle? Well, for me, it was the Carl Denver trio,

which is before you were born. Okay, okay. He had a loincloth the later, Matt. Did they? That's right. I remember that on top of the park. Oh, yeah. We had a different response to him.

Well, Piaenna, in hot weather, Well, it's only a hop step and a jump from a line cloth. He doesn't want to wear anything at all. And he's a great one for wearing the tiny shorts and the vest. Really? Which I would be if I was a big muscular. Yeah, I would as well. If you're Hercules, you've got to go to loincloth.

I should say, by the way, speaking of absent friends, Pierre will be back next week from Edinburgh. I read a review on Chortle, the comedy site that hates comedians. Does it? And it, it was very sickened by that. It was very glowing. Oh, that's good. I should explain.

Chortle has got many wonderful things on. But it does reprint stories about people, comedians, getting divorced and stuff. And I think, come on, it's a comedy website. Yeah. You're better than that. Yeah. Anyway, this thing, first, it was the genre got quite a bad review, because it said, this is observational comedy,

I couldn't find a real theme, and you're never properly uplifted by that. And I thought, okay. He said, but as an example of observational comedy, no one does it better than this man. And I thought, I wish you hadn't said the other bit, but most sensible people would think, well, you know, I like quite a funny.

That really annoys me, frankly, people dis-observation. No, but even so, they've just got to cut that bit out. Yeah. Because he says something like nobody does it better. Yeah, yeah. Makes me feel sad for all the rest.

Oh, don't make Zoe feel bad. No, I'm trying to make it feel good. Yeah. So listen. So, listen. So, listen, I got on the tube. Woo! Here.

And about two stops in, a man got on. Oh. And he was, he was wearing a white satin robe. He was barefoot and he was carrying a collapsible chair. Was it Jesus? Well, stick around. Okay. Because he said to me, he's not to me, he said to all assembled.

He said, good morning, I love you all. Sounds like my parents. Well, I was the black gentleman, but I can't do the accent. I understand. Those days of gone. Yeah. But imagine. And he said, good morning to you all.

I love you all. Many of you will have wondered, is there such a thing as an angel? Well, here I am. Oh, brilliant. He said, I am an angel, ladies gentlemen, and I've just come to tell you, I love you. And he was bareful white satin robe. No wings. Can I, there's just something I need to know.

When you say white satin robe, was there a belt tied tightly? No. Oh, no, my God, it was going. It was like a giant white silk t-shirt. Did he get on at Angel? He didn't. Oh, he missed a trick. That would have been great if he'd have done that.

But no, he didn't get on there. But I looked across and I thought most of the people on this train are probably thinking this is ridiculous. But of course, for me, as a Catholic, I couldn't completely write off that he wasn't. Yeah, okay.

And I thought he might be an angel here and I feel a bit bad. I'm not, you know, making him a bit more welcome. But surely the fact that he was holding a collapsible chair would give away that he wasn't an angel. Why? Well, because most angels can hover, can't they?

They don't need to sit. Angels need a rest. Yeah, but I think probably what he wanted to do was bring himself down to our level. Oh, right, okay. And also, you get those chairs. that have got a man with a walking stick on and a pregnant woman,

but there isn't one with anyone with wings for them to see. Did he want anything, Frank? Did he ask money? And the time I was on, I was waiting for that, okay, who would come, you know, it's not cheap being an angel. You know, those harps don't tune themselves.

Possible living crisis up there. Yeah, we got strings going all the time. But no, he didn't. He just, I mean, it might have come after I'd got off. But I, this is what I caught myself thinking. And honestly, I know it sounds insane to most people, but there was a tiny possibility for me that he could be an angel. But he was wearing spectacles.

No. And I couldn't rationalise that. Yeah. Why? He would have been given the gift for perfect sight. He would have 20-20. Yeah, surely. And also, where do you get glass? if you're an angel.

Yeah. I once went... Remember those old 60s women's glasses that had sort of wings? Yeah, yeah. They could have a big amount. I'll tell you who used to wear there was a woman in Coronation Street

who wore those, I believe. Yeah, the sort of Dame Edna's. Yeah, Dame Edna, yeah, exactly. I remember years ago being taken to a Viking re-enactments. What do they call the Viking, like, reenactments? Oh, yeah. Yeah. And they were all...

They were a lot of bearded men who I think were probably also members of real ale society. all dressed up as Vikings, like bits of sheepskin and all of that, and in the little yurts made out of dung and hope. And one of them had glasses. And I thought, no, you wouldn't have survived. You'd have had a heart.

I mean, can't they just make that little bit of extra effort? Put the contact lens in. We'll be none the wiser. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I went to, is it Cheddar Vale history? I know Cheddar Gord. I don't know there.

Chederville is in Dorsey. I think it's called Cheddar Vail. And they had a history festival. And I was recall, I used to do a radio show called The Rest Is History, the title of which has been started. Do you know this? Frank did the first one.

Anyway. It was his title originally. Really? So we went there and there was lots of reenactors. And I like reenactors. There was, I met an Battle of Ashing Court, Battle of Ashing Court camp follower, not even one of the soldiers.

When you say camp follower. I mean, a woman who would have gone... Oh, darling. You'll never guess what's going on at Agincourt. Ooh, look at them arrows. Cry, Harry, England. Look at them arrows. You'll have an eye out with that.

Oh, look at Henry with his purdy cut. So one of the Agincourt camp followers, who I'm obsessed. No, no. But there was Nazi reenactors. No, oh. There was about eight or nine of them. they were in one corner on their own, slightly ostracized. Yes, I'm going to be there.

And I thought, who chooses that as a reenacting role? And they were in like, you know, the proper, the proper full on, well, like most reenactors. Now, they could get away with spectacles, of course. Yes, yes. They want those little round ones. Little round ones, but yeah. But I didn't approach them. No, I would know.

There was this bit of fire flying overhead, which I hope would sort them out. Yeah. Proper reenactment That's what I want to see at a reenactment Proper reenactment I'll tell you what I want to see a reenactment No reenactments No reenactment

I can't be like that I'm not being like anything Frank It just upsets me There's a place near me That's got a jousting festival coming up Yeah I'd really quite like to see that I'd like to be part of that actually Do they have put the covers on the horses

You know when they put a sort of canopy on the horse Oh yeah Oh I don't like that's scaffold Yeah It's a good, handy place to go if you've got a big boil. Yeah. Were you at a festival recently? I was at a festival this very week.

Well, last weekend, yeah. You were spotted. Okay. One of our readers, for reasons which will become obvious, is choosing to remain anonymous. Hi, Frank Emily and possibly Pierre, actually, at Zoe. I found myself at Arc Tangent Festival recently. Alongside being a Frank fan and a heavy rock fan,

I also volunteer at events, which is how I ended up at the festival. During my shift, volunteering, I popped off for a quick lunch, and while I was away, Frank turned up. I came back from lunch to see him speaking to one of my colleagues exactly where I would have been if I hadn't been sat in a transit van

with a rubbish jacket potato five minutes earlier. Organisational policy... I think the stewards have to have a high-veised jacket potato. Oh, very good, Frank. Very good. Well, they will do now. Organizational policy,

because of his celebrity status, means I wasn't permitted to run over and interrupt him. Really? Oh, well. But I'm very approachable. I'm not even sure I should be writing about this. But I'm so gutted I needed to share. Due to organisational protocol,

my one and only chance to meet Frank in the wild slipped by. Well, that's a shame, isn't it? I know. Phrase redacted, but I hope he enjoyed the festival. And then he said, as well as getting whatever he needed from my colleagues. I wonder what I was trying to get. What did you get need from his... Maybe we shouldn't... What sort of festival was it?

Oh, man, it's like the best. What is it? Art tangent. Well, I took a list of some of the kinds of music that were listed. There was math rock, sludge metal, doom, death metal, melodic death metal, technical death metal and emo psychedelia. Oh, I like the sound of the last one. Yeah. Oh, I'm more of a sludge woman myself.

Do you want to hear the bands I saw? Just some of the bands. Between the buried and me. How's at my love life? You'll like this one. Godspeed you, Black Emperor. There was bipolar architecture. Oh, that's cool.

And my own personal favourite, Sleepy Time Gorilla Museum. Oh. But it was so good. The music was so good. It was just a great. You know, sometimes it's a festival. I don't know if you're a festival person. Not really.

Well, I thought I'd given it up. Yeah. At Arc tangent, I remember thinking I could live like this for the rest of my life, just going from tent to tent. Were you a day visitor or you weren't camping? No, I was there. No, I weren't camp. He's not going to prison.

I was there. I was there for three days. But I didn't. I stayed in a hotel, I'll be honest. I went a hotel so you didn't go glamping. You need your home comforts. I was going to, we talked about that, but Katz said I'm not sure about sharing a toilet. No.

I understand that. Especially with sludge monkeys or whatever they're called. Yeah. You've got to get in before the sludge monkeys. But it was great. We got into a tent early for a band, and they were still doing the sound check. And the sound check is like a guy,

the vocalist comes on, goes up to the microphone and goes, ah! Okay, that's great. Thank you for a moment. Yeah, they're not fans of keeping their powder dry, are they? Oh, man. It was like a Doctor Who Monster got signed by a record label.

Yeah. Doctor. You know, there's a lot of that kind of singing. Yeah. You look puzzled. Well, how many hours are that can you take? Well, I was, we were arriving for lunch and then leaving at, you know, half ten. Oh, wow, that's a lot.

Half ten at night? Yeah. Oh, goodness. I worry when they scream like that. I worry about their nodule. No, but it doesn't seem, it's incredible. People do entire gigs of singing like that. And they're okay?

And there's still hope for you, Zoe, I think. Oh, do you record? Yeah. Isn't Finland really into that sort of music? Yeah, there was several Scandinavian fans there. I tell what is strange about it, and I love the music, but everybody nowadays, and this used to be a thing where I used to be very embarrassed about it, everybody wears earplugs at the gigs.

And I thought, because people are really, blasting out the music, we're all wearing earplugs. There's a compromise we could come to her, isn't that? Couldn't you just turn it down and we could take our... We could all save money on earplugs. And mine are on a little, like a land yard. Oh no, like a Larry Grayson earplug? Yeah.

Have you got a Larry Grayson earplug? I have. What's listening to Sludge Monkey or whatever it is? Wow, it's really, that's really giving mixed messages, isn't it? Yeah. But it's so odd that, and that's me. Speaking of the fold-away chair, you know, people imagine festivals. It's like mosh pits and crowd surfing.

Quite a lot of people on camping chairs. Yeah. So they bring chairs along? Yeah. Yes, I once asked a friend of mine who was involved with the lighting for the chemical brothers. He said, will you come along? I said, only if you can provide me with a chair. And he said, but no one's in a chair.

It's like a mosh pit, but I got my stool. It wasn't chemical alley, was it? No. From the first golf floor. The chemical brothers. Oh, you know them so. Yeah. Well, we saw a band called Clowncore

And it's two people One play saxophone and keyboards That's like the mopets They are, but they are two clowns They're dressed as clowns One sits and one stands But they use these videos behind them And the first one was like

It was pornography In which the people were morphing into horses and dogs And then back again You've seen it. What do you think? Zoe? What was Zippo in the room, I hope? So that happened with these two clowns at the front going,

doodoo do do do do do and then the next one started off with, I think it was two squirrels having sex. Sorry, you stayed for the next one? Well, the bloke in front of me spun round. And this is a big tall guy. Good looking tall. He's just spun around and said, that's it. Squirrels having sex.

that he found his limit and he had two friends pursued him like looking very concerned of like Gavin was he triggered by something I don't I don't he sort of tolerated the metamorphosis pornography

but this is it that's it they were brilliant I recommend clowncourt I'm going to look up clowncourt right after this podcast it sounds too much like crown someone who can't pronounce crown court

which possibly could be the etymology of it. Something else I like about festivals that bring real joy to me is a very, very basic tattoo. Yes. You get obviously amazing tattoos, but you get those ones.

There was one woman who had just like a tulip single line. Look, it had been done by a friend. And I love those. I love ones that you just sit the next day. Oh, I forgot that. I'm always a fan of a panther emerging from the cleavage, climbing up.

Yeah, but that would be too elaborate. I'm on about the most basic ones you can imagine. Just like a straight life. There's a tennis player. Who's that woman tennis player has got? She's got very, very basic tattoos. Oh, really? Just an outline of a court.

Exactly. Probably a tennis ball like that, but none of the velvety nature of it. No. Oh, I love all that. It's great. although I did see a man. Oh. And this shook me a bit at first.

We're going back to the angel now. He was wearing a shirt that says Jesus is A and then a class A swear word. Oh, dear. And at first I thought, oh, no, this is too much. It wasn't four letters, was it? It was four letters. Oh, dear.

But then... I'm still working that now. Oh, I've got it. But then I thought, oh, I quite like the present. That's an admittance of immortality. Oh, yeah. He's no... To be fair, he's no atheist this time.

No, no. He didn't like him, but he accepts, but he lives on. Yeah, I don't know what the angel would have meant of him if we'd... I don't approve of that, really. No, but you know. There's no need for that, is there? There's no need for it. You know what he was? He was an edge lord.

Yeah. Oh, he was. What's a move? I don't know. I wonder what he... I bet he would have enjoyed the squirrels getting up to... no good. But anyway, I had a really fantastic time. Yeah. It was brilliant.

I'd recommend art. Would you go again? Oh, God, yes. Would you be really honest? I know you will. It's one of your finest qualities. Would you recommend it to me? No. I don't think you'd like it now. Where in the country is it? It's just outside Bristol. Okay. You know Bristol. I do know Bristol. It's very bohemian.

It is very bohemian. It's sort of Bristol and Brightner on a sort of They're having a sort of, they're having a little bit of, well, they're having a bit of a head-to-head as to who's the most bohemian. It's the BRR thing seems significant, doesn't it? Brighton, Bristol, Brighos and Rastricht. Yeah. Bridlington. Bridlington, yeah.

But if you went to those places, you find they've all got it up in that zing to them. Yeah. It's like whiff of tofu. Well, I like riff of toffee. Great band. Does tofu actually smell of anything? No, I don't think it does anything. and you just use it to re-growing.

I've never seen the point of it. Tofu. It's very, I just get it and I look at it and I think, what do I do with it? It's rubbery, it's a bit tasteless. It doesn't smell of anything. It is rubbery and taste. I just, there's nothing for me. I think it might be for people who don't eat meat.

Yes, no, I appreciate that, but there's other things. Yeah, I do eat me. Just have a bit of cheese, is what I'm saying, so. No, I don't think you're a vegan, though. You can't have a bit of tea. Vegan cheese you can have. That's all. Is it?

That is like loft insulation. I choose to buy that. I ate it once by accident. It was one of those. You know, and you'd like give a kid something like an olive for the first time. Yeah, so that's what happened with that. That was one of the songs. I'll be performing next year at the festival.

All right, people, who's my next black? Vegan cheese. You could be in Godspeed, you black emperor. Yeah, I could. I did see a man in a Not just a top In a Colonel Sanders Are you joking?

Track suit I mean trousers and top That's good I'll show you a picture I'll show you a picture And you just talk amongst yourself What like a little white shirt with a I'm gonna show it you

Can I perhaps I could share some correspondence with you Please do that way I find this picture We were talking about Talking of squirrels having sex We were discussing adult entertainment. Just a second. Oh my God. Oh, wow.

We're not identifying this character, so we should put this on social media. I took him from behind. Yes. So that he wouldn't be identical. Will you stop it? It's disgusting. That would be my dream sex. I have sex from behind with someone who was wearing a Colonel Sanders track suit top.

It's got everything I need, to be honest. Can you not call this podcast? I took him from behind. Re-adult entertainment, we've had someone get in touch with us. Do you remember, Frank, we were talking about that recently, and you were saying, how does one distinguish between adult entertainment and entertainment purely for adults? Well, you came up with a distinction, which was,

what do you make at this, sorry, that there's a difference between adult and adult. Adult. I think of adult. Well, what do you think? I don't know. You'll have to explain further. I would see adult as I'm waiting for your call, one of those channels. Oh, adult, okay.

An adult is just, oh, this is for adults, as opposed to children. Okay. I don't. Anyway. I don't think that's a record. I don't think it is either. Oh, okay. But I'm just saying it's a theory.

So we've had one of our readers who refers to themselves. Oh. Is that the angel? I'm afraid that's mine. It's from Jonathan Ross. That doesn't care. I know, and he's just sent me a password. And I don't know why.

I do apologise. It's terrible. Anyway, this is from a friend of Dorothe's who calls himself... What's really terrible? I thought my party was ready. Oh, that's broke my heart. Friend of Dorothe's, prisoner 011.

This couldn't have been more pertinent for me and my partner last year, this whole difference between adult and adult entertainment. As we watched a nice young, prim and proper heterosexual couple realize what sort of a hotel they'd actually checked into as they walked out to the pool. They couldn't have picked a better day as the pool party event that day was called Daddy Day. And it was during Bears Week. Oh. There wasn't, oh, I love Bears Week.

There wasn't a safer work corner of the pool to be seen. P.S. they stayed for the week. I bet the filters were a bit manted. I mean, she had a great time. Yeah. He did. Not so much. He need to live a little because he could have enjoyed himself with the bears.

Oh, I love a bear. Oh, do you know, I love a bear? Do you like a bear, Frank? Well, I like my homo session. She also a bit more 1950's Soho bar. You know, Fador and Cravan. I think you also like a... Speaking Polari. Yeah.

You like a... I'm a traditionalist. You like a tortu. You like a bono. I'll tell you what he likes. He likes a tortured spy. You like a slightly tortured spy. Yeah, Anthony Blonte is a good one.

No, I just like Czech shirt. I just like playing a little torture. Yeah. I like a bear. I love a bear. I've always, yeah, and then there's, there's bear, there's cubs, there's otters, there's all sorts, you can be any, yes. What are otters like then? I think otters are...

It's a bit complicated, it's like bad, tech, metal and, yeah. David Attenborough needs to present a programme explaining it. But why do people always have to lapse into subsections all the time? Just be gay. Yeah. You can't anymore, though. No, it's too dulcie. I mean, I'm really old school.

What do you mean? Well, I'm seen as a sort of silver-backed lesbian. That's all I'm seeing as now. That's really good. Yeah, well, it's nice. So you can get your head around that, if you know what I mean. Do you have, they're subsections, though, like bear? Yes.

They'd be like femme or mask or... Mask? I can't even... I don't even... Listen, we just... I like the sound of mask. No, Frank. It's not like Phantom of the Opera.

You remember, there used to be a dating show on the... Telly, which seems incredible now. Not that long ago. I think it might have been Davina. Wasn't man-o-man? No, it was the woman wore a mask. And the bloke had to pick the woman he was going to date with before she took the mask off.

And sometimes the mask would come off and the man would be visibly shaken. It was awful. It was, oh, that's quite half, isn't it? Medieval, but I'm not talking years and years ago. I'm talking 21st century, I remember. Yeah, but do you remember Blind Date, didn't the wall go back? Yes. That was a slower reveal.

So I suppose you could have sort of control over your face. And also everyone was ugly back then. It was fair. It was a fair play. No, but the worst thing on Blind Date... I include myself in that. But the worst thing with Blind Date is when they weren't ugly. Because the screen went back for the one you'd chosen.

But the terrible thing was they'd choose one. And then the others had to come around. And one would come round and the look on the... the person's face of, oh, why didn't I choose this one? Oh, no, I want this one actually. And that was terrible. Frank, just FYI, it's called, it was called sexy beasts. Oh, wow. Why were you watching sexy beasts? Well, you know, you're going to watch something. Yeah. I think this isn't the one you mean, this is the current show. This is not, are you sure this is the one? Did you, oh, okay. Let's have a look at the mask. It's like the Mars singer, but they have sex, I think. This sounds like a different.

one to me. I think this is a different one. They didn't have sex on this. It was on ITV. This is Netflix. Oh no, this is something completely different. He said it was a while ago. Yeah, well, I gave the clue of saying DeVina McCorm,

but it was ignored in search. Although, the good news is we now know about sexy beasts, which I'm going to get heavily involved in. I don't know. That's a furries show. Isn't that one about, oh yes. Dogging where they put masks on and... A TV show?

Yeah. Top gear. No! Although it could have been called that. So they're on a cart barque in the middle of the countryside, but they're in like Lamborghinis and stuff. Just FYI, it's called Love on a Saturday night. Love on a Saturday night.

Three contestants, Mr. Red. Something for the weekend, sir. Three contestants, Mr. Red, Mr. Blue and Mr. Green. Absolutely right, right. The men didn't wear masks, did they? No. What is Mr. Red, Mr. Blue, Mr. Green? I think you would be right.

The woman wore them off. It's all a very reservoir dogs, isn't it? Yeah. And then they caught one of the women's ears off as they danced. It danced around it. Stock in the middle with you. May I share this some other bit of correspondence with you briefly? This is from Scott.

He's one of our regulars, Frank, in Braintree. Okay. Another beer. Oh, yeah, another beer. I was watching the news this week, and I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I immediately thought, God, I had. I hope Frank, Emily and Pierre are seeing this. And Zoe, Donald Trump, doing a press conference on his upcoming mediation meeting with Putin and Zelensky,

when what did I notice to the left of him a framed picture of Michael Crawford? There was no attempt to explain why there was a random picture of Frank Spencer on a large elaborate stand next to Trump. After some research, it became clear that Mr Crawford is weirdly on Trump's forthcoming. honours list. Did you see this or did you know about this? No. What on that? He's going to get a... He's getting... I saw this. I was so obsessed with it. I really recommend

looking up. He starts... You know when he goes off script all the time? Yeah. And he starts saying, I've been asked to host. Can you believe what I have to do? I didn't want to do it. But I think it will be quite successful actually. Why do you need to tell us that? Michael Crawford. He's giving him a special honour.

Let me guess. He heard of some mothers to have him and thought he was a pro-life campaign. Very good. He is a massive fan of Phantom of the Opera. He said, I went to see it the very first time

it's one of my favourite shows. He says, Fandom of the Opera of one of the greatest ever. You don't see them like that often. What are you to see? He's a lot on a Saturday night

which is basically the same premise. So, yeah, he's being, He's honouring some other people like Kiss. Kiss. Yeah, Kiss. He said about them. He wasn't sure what to say about them. He went, a lot of money.

Unbelievable money these guys have made. They're all people who operate behind Matt. Yeah. Zorro is honouring. Sylvester Stallone. He's more headband. He's being honoured. It's Sylvester Stallone.

Michael Crawford, what a dinner party and kiss. Yeah. Oh, I'm glad Kiss have got an honour, though. Patty LaBelle, he wasn't, he didn't, I think it was Patty he didn't know so much about her. He wasn't as keen on her. Paddy LaBelle. I don't know.

Who is Patti LaBelle? I think it was Patty LaBelle. Is that the receptionist? No. Who is she? A singer? Yes, she is. She's a soul singer.

Sort of in the Aretha Franklin. Oh, okay. Fair enough. She was a contemporary of hers. Anyway, that's the, that is why, in case anyone else was watching that, there was a picture of Michael Crawford on a really crappy sort of easel stand. And a very, you know, Poor quality getting images photo

that's been blown up. It was blurry. What I liked about that meeting is the last time they met with Zelensky, it was all pretty horrible and JD fans said, why aren't you wearing a suit? And this time, Zelensky went to the Anten Deck Shop. Yes, he did. Yeah, and he got like one of those little jackets

and stuff. Oh man, you'll be in the jungle next year. I think you'll find he favoured a shacket. A shacket? A shirt jacket. Oh, yeah. Well, that's very Anton-Dette. So Antom-Dade. They invented the Shacket, Frank. And they referred to it.

What I liked about, he said, I see, I really like your suit. I can't remember who said a journalist. Yeah. And Trump said, that's the first thing I said when I said. And he said, well, you told me off for wearing a T-shirt. And J.D. Van said, yeah, I apologize for that. And I thought, oh, this is lovely. Yeah.

I love. See, if you just make a bit of an effort, wear a jacket. Yeah, but what about when Zelensky came back, I said, I notice you haven't changed your suit from last time. Yeah, I thought that's when I thought, you know, when you go back to a heckler one time too many? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I thought this could go wrong.

But I think it was okay. Anyway, look, I'm going to plug something now, Zoe, bear with me. Okay, okay. The next episode of Frank Skinner's radio days is out tomorrow, that's Saturday. We've made it to Christmas 2009, would you believe? believe you. So, we'll rage against

the machine make it to Christmas number one. That's what all the talk is about. Really? And what's great about is I can't remember

whether they did or whether they didn't. This is a good thing about going back to old materials. It's new ground. Yeah, I think they did. Anyway, check that out and we'll be back soon.

It's Frank off the radio. Frank off the radio. Frank off the radio. It's the Frankskinner podcast. don't you know. Thanks for listening to the podcast. Make sure to like and follow so you never miss an episode. And if you want to get in touch, you can email the podcast via Frank off the radio at Avalonuk.com.