The Frank Skinner Show - Will Milo Make It?

Episode Date: March 20, 2026

Frank and Emily are joined by Milo Edwards... or are they? Frank has some sweets from his childhood for the team to try and has an update about his black box. To book tickets to see Frank's special recording of "30 Years of Dirt" at Soho Theatre Walthamstow, head to FrankSkinnerLive.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I'm not an astronaut. I don't need an astronaut. Audiences have spoken. Project Hail Mary is an awe-inspiring masterpiece. So, I met an alien. If you've fallen out of love with going to the movies, this one will bring you back. Daniel! Ryan Gosling, in the first must-see movie of 2026.

Project Hail Mary. Only in Peters Friday. It's Fray. Frank Off the Radio. It's the Frankskinner podcast, don't you know. Frank met Joe while working out at the YMCA, the bench presses, and the forearm curls were what got them off that day. On the floor of a dark and wait room, the two of them did lay.

And in the distance, they heard others basketball, their lives away, their lives away. This is Frank Off the Radio. I'm joined by Emily Dean and no one else at the moment. Milo Edwards is booked but has not yet arrived. I know. He's Tronner Parker's Lime bike. Yeah. That's what we heard.

I've heard some euphemisms in my time. You don't know the world of Limes. I don't. Have you ever been on a Limeb? He's got a BMW for Foxxate. What's he doing on a Lime? But anyway, follow the podcast on X and Instagram. You can email the podcast via Frank off the radio at havelonukk.com.

plus 0757 4174174169 417767 417769 We've had a complaint about our jingles Oh yeah Are you ready for this? I know you like a complaint

984 My favourite is shingles That's a bit of 70s Do people still get that? People still get shingles Sorry to... They used to say that If they join up, they go around you.

If they join up, you die. But I don't know if that's true. The other one people used to get a lot was mumps in the 70s. I don't hear about that so much anymore. Well, people have the injections. They have the injections. Okay. I have the injection.

All right, calm down, you right wingers. Some people do. Some people don't. I accept that. 9-84 has got in touch to say, I had to Google the WhatsApp number. Do you want to know why? Why?

Catchy songs designed to help people remember things don't work when you change them every week. I say hit one and stick with it. P.S. ideally not the 69. None of us wants that. It probably wouldn't be that one. Now, I would describe you as someone who can take criticism, which is good. How do you feel...

I am not someone who can take criticism. I'm trying to warm you up to accept... How do you feel about what 9-84 says? Well, it's a fair point, I think if you learn, is it a mnemonic, is that what it's called? Yes, absolutely. The idea is that you do repeat the same one over and over and then it just sticks, yeah. So, yes, I take that. It's something I will admit that hadn't occurred to me.

Okay. Thank you, 984 for getting that. Frank, what are we going to do about Milo? Is he arriving? Well, the producer has got up from her chair, so that might be. He's coming in the room now. No, he's putting in. No, he isn't.

Oh, I thought he was. I bet he's got a coffee. There he is. He's waving. You know how when people get a coffee on the way and say, I'm sorry, I'm so late. You think, well, you've had time to get a coffee. I told you the worst one I ever had when I was at the Sunday Times

and the designer rung in. They went, I'm really sorry. I can't come in. I've hurt my leg. I said, why's your voice like that, then? What happened to your voice? That's his phone in and in sick voice. regardless of the reason.

I can't come in. My grandmother's died this morning. Hey, Milo. Hello. Milo is here. I heard that. No coffee. Right, I'm just going to...

I'm drenched in sweat. Can the listener know, aren't I? Trenched in sweat. You are officially, let me tell you this, um, 53 minutes late. Oh my God. I mean, people aren't that like coming from former, Yugoslavia.

Which isn't out of the realms of possibility in Milo's case. He's well travelled. That is true. I left my house in Essex two hours and 23 minutes ago. That's how long it's taken me to get here. Well, you're here. What about when people, that's very mum's thing. Well, you're here now.

Yes, that is true. Can't deny it. Yeah. Gosh. What happened with the Lyme bike? There was a problem. Yeah, so basically, I mean, this is going to be great for listeners who aren't in London. The topography of the coal drops, yeah.

Do you not get lime? Do you get limes outside of London, by the way, lime bikes? I think some other cities haven't. Yeah. But I'm not sure which. I'm going to rescue this. Okay. Because we're going to talk about public transport in London.

I actually say, we'll alienate. Yes. Yeah. Lots of people. My default sweet when I was a child was Teddy Gray's herbal lozenger. What on earth? Oh, it sounds like something from Henry the 8th time.

I have a packet here. Oh, okay. Now, okay. Now, I've only ever seen them for sale in the West Midlands, and I see they've modernised, they've dropped the lozenges. You'd think I can see where they might get rid of the word lozenges because it sounds a bit archaic. Yeah. They're now called, they've dropped the teddy as well, I mean, streamlining.

They're now called greys, herbal tablets. Oh. And I thought, don't go, if you're going to get rid of Loddy, Passengers go to like sweets or something like that. Frank, why are they? Very medical. Also, can I ask a question? Would you like to read out their slogan?

Milo, it's just there underneath. For cold nights and mornings. There you go. Yeah, there you go. Do you want one? No, thank you. Oh, come on. What do they taste like?

Well, why don't you try one? Can I ask a question? I'm concerned that it's going to be like that sort of salty liquid. Hello, can I ask a question? I'm going to have one as well. Why are they? in what looks like an icing sugar bag with a pipette at the end, Frank?

Well, a friend of mine went back to the black country. Not bad, actually. They're really, they're great. Never caught on outside the West Middell. It's dog's cock and pickled onion flavour. It doesn't seem very up my straw. You can always spit it out if you don't like it. It's a bit licoricey.

And I've used that line before. It's absolutely disgusting and so is this. Really? You didn't give it a fair time. Do you use that line before? Yeah. Only this morning. And it tastes like licorice, which is my worst thing.

In a way, we all do. It's like an aniseed licoricey licorish mashup. That, to me, is my dream formula. Really? That's because your dad, all dads love that. I don't like that. I bet you like dates and things like that, don't you? Haven't had a date?

Not anymore. Yeah. There you go. We both got there. I just went to find the different. You came on the line bike. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I got there earlier, simple as that.

And I've used that line before as well. Oh, please put him away. Oh, can I... Being punished for punctuality in my sexual habits. I... They miss that. Oh, I love a Teddy Grace. Very nice.

Is he an American soul singer? I think he's from Doddly. I know. Teddy Swims. Thanks for the tip. Yeah. And it's named Teddy Swims. Is it Teddy Swims?

Yeah. Not in Dudley, he doesn't. He was the one who had all the teddy bears on his coat. Do you remember that? Oh, you'll go to any lengths. I'll say you'll go to any length. Yeah, well, I got it the first time in rank. Right, yeah.

Oh, look, I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I'm doing a gig. You know, when you record a gig for television. your purposes. I'm doing one of those. Okay. At Soho Theatre, Walthamstow, which may confuse people because they're two different areas of London. They've got no business calling themselves Soho Theatre.

It's like a Ryanair Airport. So when you get like Ryanair Berlin and you're actually landing in like Leipzig or something. Yeah. Or like when the Brooklyn Dodgers moved to L.A. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what it's like. No one I'm talking about? So on the April of the 25th.

I'm doing this gig, which I know, I can tell when I said April the 25th, the way Milo looked at me, he immediately thought, oh, that was the day the Peloponnesian War ended. Am I right? Do we know that? Wow. Yeah, well, that's the day that Athens surrendered, which I think is accepted as the end of the war. This news, Justin.

Huge for any Thucydides heads in. There's not often stuff on the podcast for them. They're always writing in. When are you going to mention the suicidides? It's right. No, it's I've read a bit of few Sidadis I'll reckon you've read the whole damn thing of you.

I've read bits of it when I was at university. Whenever people say I've read bits. Notariously difficult. Do you not believe, oh come on, this is Milo though. He knows his onions. The Sidides is one of the few Greek authors where there are bits of it where we genuinely don't know what it says. Like there's bits of it that are considered sort of untranslatable.

Is that right? They're disputed as to what they could mean. They might say that about your books in, one of these days, Frank. Well, this show, I've already done 165 times, including. Oh, the show you're doing the live version. It's 30 years of dirt, which I toured for like, you know, a year and a half or more. But I thought...

My favourite ever of all your shows. Oh. Well, it's always... You always want the last one to be that. But what I thought was everyone's seen it who wants to see it, you know, but you can't record it on your... own. I'll tell you we're no audience. I mean, that would be very avant-garde. I'd like to see you do it. Though I'm told that the wheel doesn't have an audience. Is that right? And they put the audience in after.

We know between us quite a few characters who've been on there. And I'm sure Michael can tell you. Yeah, but they, you know, I think they have to sign a, what's it called? NDA. L-E-D. No, Frank. It's NDA, not L-E-D. And they have to sign one of those to pretend there's an audience if asked. Yeah, they'd probably send some people out and say, oh, I was in the audience. I say the audience at the wheel. Tell me to ask the audience on. And they're given areas of the country to cover. You're covering Birmingham to tell the lie about the audience.

Yeah, we got to see. So anyway, I'm doing this show on the 25th of April. Do come. And I thought people, if they've seen it, they won't come and see it again. But then I thought... People want to be on telly, though. Well, also I think they might well have forgotten it.

What do you mean? Even if they've seen it before. Oh, I see. I'm saying that based on the fact that I have. And I've done it 165. Oh, so good. So we can buy tickets to it. Oh, God, yeah.

Where do we get the ticket? I can't walk into So-o theater, it's a Walsam Stone. See, I'm putting on a free show. No, not at all. Where do we get the tickets, Frank? Oh, I don't know that. Okay. But, you know, Google it.

You can have a lot. Ask my friend, Chat GPT, he knows everything. Have your PA log on to the Seych of Waltham State Web. There you go. And snag you a couple of tickets. Are you getting on well with the Chat GPT, Frank? Yeah, we haven't spoken, actually, for a few days. Really?

I took a lot of advice from him. Me too. He even science fiction writers of the last 10 years. Because I tend to read, you know, the classics. Very helpful. I have a more sort of transactional relationship with it only this morning. Can you not call it it?

You've called it him. Yeah. Well, as I say, the fact that he knows... What is the gender identity? The fact that he knows so much about science fiction makes me think it's probably a him. Oh, do you think so? Oh, yeah.

Well, I asked him this morning. Capital H. You can, you can, it can be a shade to you. I think mine is a he as well. Okay. I asked only this morning, I said, look, well, look, I said like Simon Cowell. I'm going in to record my podcast. My battery is only on 25%.

Well, I need to recharge it. I said, how much? How long will it last for? It was so helpful. That's good. And what it does is a little joke at the beginning. Oh, Emily, it's the classic thing, isn't it? You've remembered everything.

You've got your keys. Oh, I don't get any of that. And then it says, and then I mentioned, I said, well, I'm going to Spiritland, and annoyingly they don't have any well-positioned plugs. And it said, oh, typical Spiritland, hipster bar. Really? A bit rude about it. They said not very big on the practicality, though.

Use the phrase hipster bar. It said hipster bar. Wow. That's what we're here. You sure that's not just a neighbour talking through the wall? That's very odd. No, because chat GPT, well, it's not old, Frank. It's talking to you like an emotia, ma. Yeah, but I would find yours odd because yours is talking to you in the way you probably talk to it.

Do you talk to Alexa as well? No, but I talk to chat GPT. I sometimes drone on for hours. See, with Alexa, it took me years to get out of the habit of screaming instructions at a female presence in a domestic situation. I don't want to get back into that. No, no, you're going to. Anyway, so come and see if you want to.

I think I might come and see it. Why not? I'd watch it again. There'll be people that didn't catch it first time, and they're back from Dubai now. I went with Jonathan Ross last time. Did you? And he said it was his favourite of your shows. Maybe we'll bring him again.

It's actually, if you want to get tickets. He might revise his opinion. Why do you say that? Because he will shout out the punchline. He won't. He won't. He's a pro. If you want to get tickets, by the way,

you go... Oh, God, this has got very formal. Well, don't apologize. for this. This is, people might want to see it, Frank. Oh, they might. It's frankskinalive.com. You can get tickets.

It's actually two shows. And can you believe the 5 o'clock show sells faster than the 8 o'clock show? That says something about the age of my crow. They didn't know there was a fucking 8 o'clock at night. Well, they're also keener because the 5pm crowd have forgotten more of it than the 8 p.m crowds. Why?

Because they're presumably more infirm if they're going for the 5pm show. I don't know. You see, it could be young people thinking, what, I want to be out on the town. Going out after, I'm pre-gaming at the Frank Skiller. And they'll be out there. Celebrate, they'll be out dancing. They play that in all the clubs.

I bet they do. When did you last go to a club? This year, certainly, but I can't remember. This year isn't no good to me. I need fucking dates. I never liked clubs. Even when I was younger, I just used to stand there and think,

this is awful. Just the noise. I hated the noise. I hated the people. When you took the noise and the people out of a clump, at least you still have the alcohol. Yeah. Which is why I went initially.

I gave up trying to get casual sex when I was about 70. Frank, could you not do that? I hate that. I've got to strive for celebrity or be a celibate. That's the choice. But then eventually you got the postcotes. Yeah, I didn't want celebratory. I wanted celebrity.

There you go. Has there been any celibate celebrities? Stephen Frye back in the day? Cliff Richard, I think. Oh, yeah. Who knows? Well, he said he was. Oh, okay.

Well, he said he was. Okay. I think he meant heterosexual celibate. Yeah. Okay. He's like a kin doll, I reckon. Let's go with that. Let's go with that explanation.

He was for some years. No, he's married to Elliot now, isn't he? Yeah, yeah. What from E.T. He's got a type, hasn't he, Elliot? No, he's been married for some years, isn't he? Yeah, I think about 10 years or so. Yeah.

But he, for a long time, he used to say that he was, did he used to say that he was a non-practicing homosexual? Am I remembering that, right? Oh, did he? Like, sort of culturally gay, but not practicing. Oh, okay. If I'm putting words in his mouth, I apologize. That'd be like Paul McGraar at the villa,

didn't use to train, because his knees went, He just played the games. Oh, right. Was he a footballer? Yeah. I'm working backwards. Aston Villa. You're a football fan.

Because when you said the Villa, there were a lot of things that could potentially mean. Oh, okay. Well, I don't have one, like some people. Another celibate celebrity. Jesus, was he celebrate, Frank? Yeah, he was a celebrity. Okay.

Yeah. Although Mary Magdalene, what's our literal position on that? I think. Are they just nice friends? Yeah. It's more like me and you, I think. Oh, I love. What a comparison. Hang on, you're Jesus, and I'm a sex worker.

I don't think there's any evidence that she was a sex worker. Who said that? The Romans made that up. I think she was a sinner. When West Jet first took flight in 1996, the vibes were a bit different. People thought denim on denim was peak fashion, inline skates were everywhere, and two out of three women rocked, the Rachel. While those things stayed in the 90s, one thing that hasn't is that fuzzy feeling you get when West Jet welcomes you on board.

Here's to West Jetting since 96. Travel back in time with us and actually travel with us at westjet.com slash 30 years. Should we do some outside world stuff? Yeah. Why not? As a palate cleanser. Frank, you were talking. As Picasso used to say to me.

Nicola from Warrington has got in touch. Yeah. Do you remember you were talking recently, you were discussing an animated film recently, in which a girl approaching puberty starts to occasionally transform into a monster? Yeah, I could. I couldn't remember that. Yeah. I think the film you were referring to was turning red.

Oh, that sounds right. Rather than a monster, she turns into a large red panda whenever she gets emotional. Well, I would call a large red panda, a monster. I think we might have called it a red dog at some point. No, because we got mixed up with... Clifford. Yeah. An old film, but my young daughter loves it.

And who doesn't like a red panda? Um... Yeah. When we talked of it, I thought the top that came into my head was red rag to a bull. And then I thought, it couldn't have been called. I wouldn't have dared call it that, would they? So it's called, okay. Is this an old fashion?

What's it called again? It's called Turning Red. Turning Red. Is it an old? Yes, because we were talking about Carrie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is this an old fashion film? No, no, no, Miss Jones.

No, it's a recent film. Yeah, I'd say last three or four years. Okay. Oh, maybe I'll watch it. Frank, I've also got some other news from Ruth Jordan, one of our regulars. I've just heard, says Ruth, on the radio, that two previously unavailable episodes of Doctor Who from 1965 are going to be released by the BBC in April.

That's correct. I'm guessing this is one of those where someone found the tapes in the attic or something. How excited is Frank about this? I know Emily will be absolutely ecstatic. No, I am excited about it. The whole Doctor Who world has been excited by it. There's still, I think, nine episodes missing from that story. And I think nine, in total, this could be wrong,

92 Doctor Who episodes in total still missing. But it is great. Is it the old man with the yellow teeth? Is it that one? Yes, it's William Hartnell. You knew who I meant to be fair when I said that. Milo looked at me. And yes, you're right.

I am the old man with the yellow teeth. But I think this was an old guy died and they went through his... What do they call the things that you own when you're dead? Your effects? Your effects? It's like the Epstein files. They're gradually releasing Dr. Hughes.

So they went through his effects and they found these two recordings. Oh, and they found very bad effects. There is a theory. Made a joke, everyone. I know. It's very good. I like that.

Did you find? Yeah. It's because it might be one you could tell. You're welcome to have that for your little sigh fry, Frank. Please don't suggest that I'd still want a good joke. No, you wouldn't. I know there are comedians that have stole Emily's jokes and stories and put them in their stand-up acts. Can you believe that?

Oh, are there? Yeah, I think there's, I can think of a mate. Well, Frank knows about, Frank's got the list, the Aria Stark list. Yeah. It used to happen quite. with a lot of regularity. And then I started having words. Yeah.

And I drew boundaries. I've had to withdraw all my coat room material. Well, no, it's just difficult. I can see why they do it because they probably think, oh, well, she's not a stand-up. Do you think that's why they do it, Frank? No, they think she's not a man. So I own anything funny she says, I think is what they're thinking. Yeah, that's quite mad, isn't it?

Yeah. I think they think I'll be happy when they steal the material. Yeah, honoured. They think I'll be really honoured. Sometimes they'll tell me they've stolen it. I'll say, oh yeah, you should look at my new, back in the day when there were DVDs or it might be on a channel of some description. They'd say, or a streaming site, they'd say, oh, yeah, you should look at it.

Yeah, I used to a joke. They're doing sort of imitation as a sincerest form of flattery, but, like, in reverse. That's why it's a compliment, because if it wasn't funny, I wouldn't have stolen it. Well, then Frank explained to me that it was morally wrong and theft, so put my foot down now. I agree with that. Yeah. When Frank's been a victim of theft a lot, so he would know. Yeah, I have.

Did they send you a letter? I'd rather let up my car than my material. Did they send you a letter, Frank, saying, I'm so sorry, dear Emily, I've had that. I'm so sorry to hear you've been a victim of crime. No. Well, the people who stole? No, the police send you the victim of crime letter.

I sorted out the insurance. Okay, what did you get it for? If I tell you, four and a half grand. Ooh, I know. That's like 17-year-old levels. But that's without the black box. The black box, I just went off the black box. No, I agree.

I read some stuff about acting my PA research, the black box. Oh, my God, that's embarrassing. You didn't even read it yourself. And there's all sorts of stories about people, I don't quite get this, they've got the black box with them when they're in someone else's car and they break sharply or accelerate with Great Guster. Why do you take your black box all over the place with you? Don't ask me questions like that.

Make any sense. Please. It's all right when they say it, Mila. Yeah, there you go. That's the world we live in now. What is, man? Welcome to our world. There have been people getting in touch, actually.

Very concerned about your insurance, Frank. Just saying they think... Oh, my son. I've got a cold. Sure you are. It's been a tough week. Yeah, no, I've been on the bag all morning. I know what you were.

We don't want to know about your bags. Your youngsters. like your youngsters, you youngsters. Sam actually got in touch. Sam, pick up thy musket. He knocked it down, so he pick it up, Sam. Sam, pick up thy musket. That's the motto of those sweets.

That's the ad, that's the current ad. They've left quite a sort of, quite a cloying aftertaste. Cloying? Yeah, my mouth is very dry. I really I'd smash that entire water after I finished the suite and it's not been enough. Well that's a surprise. Jenny's reaching for the bottle of water. That's a surprise that maybe sweets that were made in like 1901 have got an ingredient.

They've probably got quicklime. They're still operational, Teddy Gray. Anyway. Wouldn't it be great if the Roy Orbison song had been called cloying instead of crying. Cloying. Cloy. You really are stifling me. Thank you.

A couple of people have been in touch about your insurance. Oh, good. People are really concerned about it. Anyone from Norwich Union? No. The Go Compare Man's business. But Sam says older drivers like you are unfairly penalised. Quite right.

We know you're a good driver, apart from maybe the horn-related road rage incident. Yeah, and parking is... Was this written by Michael Winner? Well, Sam has suggested a specific insurer to you, but it's too late now, and I don't know if we want to give them free advertising. But this insurance company specifically deals with the older driver.

But I don't think it's my age. I think it's the fact that I'm so readily stolen from. Well, Sam seems to think it is your age. Okay, fair enough. People make their minds up. You have to leave them to it because they don't change them. I think what you are is the perfect storm because you're older and famous. And stolen from, yeah.

Yeah, now the words out that you're a soft target. Thieves are going to be massing, you know. He's a bit doddery. He's got a poorly secured vehicle. It's got a fucking crook on it. I can't believe people still use those. That's so adorable. I've got one.

Have you? Yeah. Sometimes it's an insurance requirement. You have to use the crook lot. Yeah. Life is circular, you know. Everything comes back. Yeah.

It's just like... I have to. keep I have to keep a Doberman Pinscher on the back seat at all times. Is that a sort of dog thief, a Doberman Pinscher? Forgot to leave the window down an inch. There's an inch in my day. It's probably two centauritas now. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, what else?

What about Milo's week? Most of it was spent fucking coming here. Yeah, it was a pretty, it was a pretty, Mad morning. Jello, I was reminded of an anecdote from Times Gone by. Oh, this sounds like an after-dinner speaking thing. I was reminded of. It's funny, isn't it, Emily?

You're leaving the house. And then, no, I saw someone tweet about. No, I heard Betty Boothroyd. You know who that is? I've heard the name before. She was a Labor MP. Was she a speaker for a while? She was.

I think she was. I think I've got it in my head She was also a tiller girl Yes she was What like the back of the ship No No they were like show girls They were like sexy dancers from the London Palladium

I know But I'm in sexy in a squalid way I'm in sexy in a showbiz way Yeah More in a sort of 1940s musical way High kicks That high kicks was their speciality Being painted on the side of a bomber sort of thing

Quite a career she had Anyway You remember better than after dinner speech where she said, I am reminded of the time. So that's why I associate it with that. Do continue. I will explain how I was reminded. So I saw a tweet, as I still call them,

because I refuse to give in. I've been there longer than him. It's my website. Someone said, you never see Mooning anymore. No one moons anyone. No. Yes, that's true. Hang on, so where did Mooning?

I used to see it in films about youth. Was it a sort of 50s American... college thing. They'd be in a convertible and go, hey, girls, and pull their trousers down. Yeah. To machilarity. It feels really British to me, movie. Do you think so?

The Americans are too uptight to get their ass out, I think. I think it feels very like teenage boys at a bus stop. That kind of. Okay, yeah, I can see it in that context. Yeah. I remember going on a horse. And also, I think it began as a part as a show of support for the American Space Program. Oh, really?

I think that was the initialised. When they had a minute's silent moon for Apollo 13, to hope that they would get back. Yeah, that would have been beautiful, wouldn't he? But I feel that if you mooned in 1969 after the landing, that that would be acceptable to the local constabulary, whatever they call them in America. I want every American, mooning up at the moon tonight.

So I got those boys home saying. It's like a slightly more benign form of flashing, isn't it? Considerably more benign. Streaking was very popular, wasn't it? That seems to have gone. Now, major sporting events, there was always someone naked. Why don't you get? Most famous streaker, Frank, is?

Erica Roe? Very good. Eric O'Roe? Erica. She was a sort of streaker celebrity. Oh, okay. Did she streak in front of the Ian Botham? No, she's, what's the past tense?

Stroke. She stroked. She stroked. Streaketh. She stroked. She streaked at a rugby. England rugby game. I'll tell you what was great about it.

Well, I won't tell you everything that was great about it because it's 2026. But she had a cigarette in a mouth and it had broken, so it was hanging down, but she kept on smoking it. Do you know what, the drunk's iconography? It's beautiful. Pardon?

That's the drunkard's iconography, the broken cigarettes. Yes, there used to be a comedian called Freddie Frinton, who played a stage drunk, and he always had a broken cigarette. He and Erica Rowe are the only people I can think of who had them. Yeah, different levels of attire other than the broken cigarette. Well, to be fair to her, she was a semi-streaker in that she kept her jeans on.

Did she? Yeah, jeans and pixie boots, I think she wore. It's sort of like keeping your t-shirt on in the pool, isn't it, keeping your jeans on while streaking? Yeah, but fair enough. I saw someone, it was in the States recently, someone said, oh, there was a streaker at a sporting event, and it was just a fully-clothed man just running across the pitch. And I'm like, this is a pitch invader. Typical Americans.

There's no culture, you know. You've got to be naked to be a streak. Like I say, 2026. Yeah. Anyway, the mooning tweet made me think of. In sort of summer 20201, I used to work on Brick Lane. I'd finish work quite late in night. And I was walking up Brick Lane and I saw two girls outside of bar.

So can we ask what you were doing? Were you running one of your businesses? Yeah. One of my businesses that have caused such consternation on this. Sadly, sadly, no, I'm not that lucrative. Okay. This is a podcast studio. Yeah.

And we used to do a live stream that's quite late at night, one night a week. And so I'm walking up Brickleen, and there's a bunch of people coming out of a bar. And these two girls come out of the bar, they're quite doled up, and they say goodbye to each other. And one of them crosses the street.

And then they turned to face each other once they were across the street. And then they both turned around and pulled up their dresses and mooned each other. And that's when I knew the pandemic was over. I'm like, we're back, guys. Oh, really? We're here. Wow.

That is a public mooning. Yeah, that's something. It really made me feel like we'd healed, you know, as a nation. Like, that is... Well, yeah. Yeah, there you go. Because you had happened to me when I was a young man. I wouldn't have been thinking, well, that's the end of the pandemic.

I dread to think what you'd have been thinking. And I don't actually want to know what you'd have been thinking. I'd have been thinking, is it Christmas already? And I'll thank you not to share with me. Well, you know. Does the moon make you think of Christmas? Generally associated with Islam. Yeah, because I think with the moon,

you can't really get a good silhouette of Santa Slay unless he's crossing in front of a full moon. That is true. Otherwise, you can't quite make him out. You know what I mean? Against the dark sky. That's why it's quite a busy night for Mrs. Claus as well. This is Christmas, I believe she calls herself.

Oh yeah, well that's anglicised They changed it at Ellis Island Olmar Christmas Yeah Yeah What else? What else do you? What else for you?

No, I've got some other things So in Essex It's real It's flag country in Essex Oh yeah But they're always putting up flags And but recently Because the flags have now been up for so long

They've been up for like Best part of a year Someone has redone The flags along one stretch of road You see, I like a raggedy union jack. I'm usually a bit anxious about a union jack nowadays. But a raggedy one reminds me of Iron Maiden. Oh, right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because Eddie the Trooper carries one of those, like we've been through the battle, but we've saved. I do feel a bit nervous. Yeah, it's quite, this was brought back from Trafalgar. Yeah, that's a cool look. Yes. Yeah, when it's anti-French more than anything else, that's fine. I suppose so.

Yeah. I thought of it like that. Oh, is that okay? I'm sticking with the Biden. Anyway, yeah, yeah. But so they've put up, and this guy, I presume it's one man, has put up along,

probably about 25 lamp posts, he's put up a repeating sequence of flags where it's Union Jack, George Cross, Welsh flags, Saltire, and then, presumably to represent Northern Ireland, he's put up an Irish tricolour, but therefore he sort of,

he's accidentally waded into a sectarian debate on the side of a United Ireland whilst I presume being one of the least United Island guys you could imagine. Oh, maybe it's hard to get the Yeah. It's the Northern Ireland one that's got

like a hand holding a It's a bit like a George Cross I think but it has like It's got a handholding a knife or something like. Isn't it a knife? That doesn't sound very nice. Isn't it a torch maybe? It's a ceremonial.

It might be a thought. Emily's pulling it up. I'm going to have a look for us. It might be a torch. It's just a hand. It's a lovely hand, just waving. There's no knife. It's waving.

I would describe it. Yeah, all right. Okay. Well, I'm sorry. I would actually describe it as a red glove. A red glove. I'm getting get 10,000 pounds off your next purchase. Yeah.

This is going to mess up your eBay algorithm. Oh, yeah. It's a hand saying stop. Yeah. Do not. It's a bit spice girl. Stop right there. Thank you very much.

Yeah. It's got a crown on top. I'm already. getting anxious about this flag. Can we talk about something? No. Yeah, it feels like this isn't a subject we're very expert in any of us.

No. And I'm feeling slightly alienated. It's going to be all right. But we can talk about other flags. That's a safe. Oh, yeah. Is that safe? I don't know.

Flags generally a bit of a problem, aren't we? Do you think so? That's almost safe. You know, me and my family are big, fans of the Olympics, both winter and summer. And we watched the opening ceremony. Once the flags start coming, we just switch it off. How do you feel about God I'd save the king?

I don't care about that stuff. But the flag thing lasts a fucking lifetime. It's just people carrying flags. You've just had like a galleon sailing out of school kids in Lycra. And all that amazing dancing and music and then they'll get like there, it'll be someone like,

I don't know, the Nolan sisters will come out and do something. And then suddenly it's just people carrying fucking flags. All right. We get it. We know you're here. Let's bring the Nolan sisters back. Anything.

Anything that isn't 500 groups of people carrying flags. What's their brother Christopher up to? Bring him out. And then they'll come and the presenter says, I know when there comes Finland. It's just like a quiz about recognised the flag. Could have done that online. But you do get to hear the lovely...

It's like a hot or not. Watching the parade of flags going, I could be watching Lorraine Kelly right now. Exactly. Poor Lorraine reduced to half an hour, I understand. I love I understand. Reduced to half an hour. The severity.

You sound like a solicitor pulsing on terrible information about the disease. I'm sure half a bit of now. You're talking about like she's in solitary confinement. Do you know, we're both big fans of Lorraine. When I went on Lorraine, she was lovely about you, Frank. A picture of you flashed up. That's how much they love to you. I've always got on very well with Lorraine.

I wasn't happy about the half hour. Do you not know about this? She's sharing with Hank Park. There's been an absolute bloodbath at, is it called Good Morning Britain the whole thing? We don't know what it's called. ITV, Good Morning Britain. It's good night at me. if you're a in Kelly.

Sorry, Frank. You need to explain that in case. No, I did it recently. We did it last week. Go and look up last week's podcast. If you want to know who said that, listen to... Maureen Lippman wouldn't tolerate

being reduced to half an hour. There you go. Look, I need another Teddy Grey's herbal tablet. I need another Teddy Swiss. Shall we leave it there? What's your favourite national anthem, Frank? My favourite national anthem? I quite like the...

What, is it the Brazilian one? the ghost. Sounds more French. You're not at the Teddy best picture. If you go down through the voice, I think that is the Brazilian. I've heard it a lot of four. I think you're right.

I like the Italian. So do I. Don't you like Advanced Australia Fair? That's one of my favourite. I never thought Frank would say I like the Brazilian and it not illicit at all Frank on the podcast. Do you know I hadn't thought of it? And I thank you not to say that again.

No. As I say, I'm not going for the black box. Right. Don't ruin it. It's the Frank Skinner podcast. A new winter change is blowing. It's the Frank Skinner podcast. I'm not totally sure how it's going.

Thanks for listening to the podcast. Make sure to like and follow so you know. never miss an episode. And if you want to get in touch, you can email the podcast via Frank Off the Radio at Avalonuk.com.