The Frank Skinner Show - Zurich?

Episode Date: December 16, 2024

On today's podcast Frank has some gadget news to share with the team and Pierre reveals a latest breakfast offering. The team also discuss food waste and an out spoken Landlord! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Or take your caramel brulee latte along on your impromptu catch-up. These are sips worth sharing, so come together and find your holiday magic. Only at Starbucks. It's Frank off the radio, featuring him and that posh lady-o. And the one with the French name from south africa came they're all here open brackets array close brackets today well hello there uh this is uh frank skinny you're listening to frank off the radio You can follow the podcast on Instagram and X, get in touch at FrankOffTheRadio at AvalonUK.com. How's about that then? News just in, Michael McIntyre's

The Wheel has been decommissioned after during filming, The Wheel broke free of its axle and careered into the audience. That isn't true but it's just everything I mention on this show, someone goes wrong with it so be careful. This is becoming a podcast about the wheel. It's what we talk about, because we are obsessed with it, well I am. It's about the wheel and the way that waiting for Godot is about Godot. It's about waiting for Frank to dance. It's like the wheel of fate that steadily turns. I wish Michael had started like that one week. It's not very brand. No one brand. No. MacIntyre started his show by talking about fate and time.

Just sort of saying it all while looking at the floor, not really moving. A bit cramped, a bit unshaved, a bit household. When it ends, there's no music and just at the end of the credits it says fa. Yes. I love that. So, yeah, and there's a slight skip when he exits, but he barely leaves the ground. And he's wearing a grey beketi and overcoat. Now, I was thinking about one of those communist China sort of overall things. Yes, yes, yes,

yes. Anyway, I did a gig at the Manchester Opera House. Oh. And a very nice gig. And when I left, there was a man waiting outside. Well, one of the men waiting outside was James Bentley, who gave me a book called Things Can Only Get Better, Barry's mid-90s rise on the Stan Ternant, which is a football book. Thick, heavy-toe he'd written about Barry F.C. and their rise to the second tier.

That's a strange bedfellow for a visitor's guide to the medieval kingdoms of man and the isles. Yeah. Whose house is this? Exactly. I mean, I think you'd struggle to know. Who lives here? He also told me that there's a fall song which I played when we were radio people in those dark days. I played this, there's a song by the father goes, I'm not from Bury, I'm not from Bury. And he said he was the

inspiration for that song. Do you believe that? Well, you know. Was it because that's what Marky Smith said when this guy tried to hand him that book? Well, apparently there's a version of the book. I'm not from Bury. Apparently there's a version of the song in which he says, I'm from Bury, but I don't think I've heard that version.

And that's the bit that he says, but I don't know, it's complicated. That's what Steve Hall told me. And as we've established on previous podcasts, he's an unreliable source. Oh my god. No he knows about music, Steve Hall knows a lot. He does know his music. I mean he really does know a lot about music. Respect to Mondo. Anyway speaking of music, I left the Opera House and there was a guy like waiting for me to talk to a couple of people and then he came over and said you were nice about my band

on the radio. I had some photos with his lady who he was with, who was from Warsaw, so we did those. Warsaw or Warsaw? Warsaw. Okay. Yeah. She wasn't a refugee, if that's what you're suggesting. I was suggesting nothing but song. So anyway, yeah, so I thought it was her and she dragged this guy along. So I had my photo took with her.

And then he said, you were very nice about my band on the radio. And you know, I played accidentally quite a lot of unsigned bands. I didn't know they were unsigned. I would never have been able to work that out. Well, I just played stuff I liked, which is there isn't enough for were on the sign. I would never have been able to work that out. Well, I just played stuff I liked, which is, there isn't enough of that on the radio. Nevertheless. So, I said, oh, who was the band thinking, oh, God, I hope I remember them. And he said, the Bootleg Beatles.

He said, I'm George Harrison. I'm Spartacus. You know what? I was properly excited to meet. It was better than meeting the real George Harrison. So what was the resemblance? Mainly because I never, as you know, I never want to see here or have anything to do with a ghost.

So that would have been terrifying. It was great. Did he bear a passing resemblance to George out of costume? Well I might put a picture up. I'd seen him, you see, and there's a bit where George gets his own bit in the show and does things like, while my guitar gently weeps. He was a brilliant... This is bearded later George, isn't it? This is, yeah, bearded later George. Oh, okay.

So he's not mopped up, George? Well, he is earlier. They moved through all the ages. Oh, he doesn't like Yardwood wigs? They all do. They have a bit of prosthetics and time-lapse. Yeah, little round glasses appear. So they delve into a suitcase at the back of the stage? No, it's not quite like that. They don't turn around. I hate that, Frank. I love it. Do you? And when they say things like, oh, I wonder what, I wonder what Benny Hill would say about this and then they turn around and come back, oh fur, fur, I haven't ever said, just in case you need a bit of help with it. Even more props upon props. I do anything,

I don't like... Thanks for helping me with Benny Hill. I just couldn't think of a famous person. I won't. I mean that's tough. Christmas games at home I'm gonna be terrible if I can't think of a famous person. I could have had me. Bush came to show up. You could have. What would your prop be? You could have had David Baddiel. My prop? Yeah in the big prop case at the back of the stage. Oh if you had to be Frank Skinner. Stupid football. Where did that come from? Well you know you get your prop there you have to be associated with. Yeah. Bar handbag as I think when Oscar Wilde rewrote the Christmas Carol. Bar handbag! I still haven't moved on from Oscar Wilde's rewriting of the Christmas. I wanted to, before your time I think, when we had

guests, I'm looking at Pierre now. Well I know nothing was before my time dear. I should do that thing they do on radio for. Before your time Piano Valley. Oh I hate that. I love that. I wanted to get... Darnie Harrison, his son, had an album out, I was doing a gig or something and I wanted to get him on as a guest in the days when we had guests just so I could play Here Comes the Son when he came on which would have made me so happy but Darnie, Darnie don't chat apparently so that was that. Listen on the last episode yes there's been others, I mentioned that a gadget had come into the household. Yeah. I tried to be a positive spirit in our family. No, honestly. Okay, okay. I'm gonna tell you the word on it. I mean comparatively, that's what I'm saying. But when this gadget came into the house I said that will never work in any circumstance. It'll never work. I did basically say that. Now look I don't want to be on here criticising gadgets in case the people who make this thing want to advertise with us. Okay. Can I say, I hope they

don't. Did Cath buy this gadget? Cath bought it yeah yeah. Because you're not antique gadget, you have in your home... Can I just clarify? Cath bought it with my money. Ah. Okay, yeah. Sure. I'm not an antique gadget. 1972.

I love a gadget. Well, you've got your own bus stop... Yeah, I've... Time table. Time table, yeah, electric one. What did you say it was expensive? See, I helped him with time table, the way you helped me with Benny Hill. This is what it's all about. It's lovely. It's like that thing

about when you go into heaven and they've got the long spoons and in hell they can't use them. In hell there's no Benny Hill. No. Come on then. But the DJs Spoonie they feed each other in heaven. How much do you think she spent Cath on this gadget? I think she said it was something around the 40 quid mark Pricy with Christmas coming. Mmm. Exactly. So what it is We've lived in a in our house we've lived for I think 11 years and all sound of page turning yes 11 years and

We've had a window cleaner come once in 11 years. We have saved a fortune on curtains. Why do people do that? Why do people buy curtains and then get a window cleaner to come and make their windows as see-through as they can possibly be? Hypocrisy. Yeah, for us! Anyway, so she got this gadget. Now I've got, let me just tell you what it says on the box. It says, unique design. Well that always worries me for a start-off because what do you mean by that? Well it depends what it is. Innovative technology. Okay. Yeah and then there is a

genre which I'll go into. 100% natural rubber. Okay there's certain things I don't want that for, bra for example. Yeah. You don't want to rub a bra? No. What about in wet weather? Continue please. What about this 190 centimeter safety string that secures the outside part from falling down? I know what string does. I'm perfectly aware of the purposes of string. Also, that sounds very unprofessional the way that's written. Was there no proofreader? Well, I'd say to me, do you ever watch, is it JVC? Is that what it's called? That program where they advertise things.

Shopping channel. Is that what it's called? QVC, yeah. Is that what it's called? You see so yeah, I knew you meant JVC something else it's a big movie say and they'll say something like everything they talk about is if very ordinary things are original So what they've done here they've taken like little small loops of metal Ah, yes, yes, the small loops of metal, they've connected them to form a sort of a flexible circle that one can wear around one's neck. If you wanted to

suspend something of a personal taste from that, that it will take that weight. That's amazing. What about if you wanted to wear it around your wrist? Well they do mate, what they've done is they use less loops and they've made smaller ones that you can wear on your wrist. That's amazing. How much is that? £148. But we're selling it for £146.

And it's two magnets, two magnetized sort of pads. They look like those blackboard robbers. Oh yes, okay. Remember one has got a string, that's it. To secure the outside part. Yeah, because you should fall. So you put one on the outside of the window and one on the inside of the window and you move it around the inside of the window and the one on the outside moves with it because of the magnets.

So it cleans the window. So as you move the inside one, the outside one, it's what I would call science technology. Oh yeah. If you want to start a rumour in your neighbourhood that there's the ghost of a window, haunting the suburb. Well, exactly. This is the way to do it. The trouble is if we clean the windows too much, people will be able to see us inside.

This is my whole point. We can only clean the frosted windows. So hang on. I'm confused by this, Frank. Is there cloth on that side? There's cloth on it, but there's a magnet. But it must get very dirty, no offence, quickly on your windows. No, because it falls off after about four seconds.

Oh! Thank God for that 190 metre string. When I saw it, I said what will happen is when you move, it will fall off. And she said no, no, it's, you know. It's innovative technology. It's got 100% rubber. Stop saying that. That sounds creepy. said no, no, it's, you know, it's innovative technology. It's got a hundred percent rubber. I'm saying that. It's got a unique design. I never don't set all the things that

are a hundred percent rubber Frank. No. To Frank Skinner. I'm a Catholic, I don't know what. I don't deal with a hundred percent rubber. But this thing was never going to work and she's tried it. I've actually filmed, I got buzzed to film it in action. I'm going to put that on the phone. Leash content. It's never going to work. No. Don't put that on YouTube, Frank. Wife tries magnetic cleaner.

If it worked for one window, say, even if it did work, then you'd have to go, well, now that it's sort of dirty, I have to kind of take it back in and rinse it and reapply. Just pulling the string. Yeah. It doesn't work. No. I don't know how slow you'd have to move the internal magnetized pad for the outside one

not to fall off. I don't know how slow that would be. Achingly slowly. Oh yeah, really. Oh man. The ghost of George Formby. Has Cath come to terms with the fact that it's not going to work? I'm talking about the cleaner. You know what, the terrible thing about it. Please don't take that out of context. It's been left sort of on the windowsill, as if it's to hand if we need it. We'll never, I'd say we'll throw it away in about four years.

And it'll be there till then. Wait till Halloween and then attach a sort of ghostly hand to the outside one as though like in a sort of Scooby Doo way. Perhaps I could do sciences and just have it under the table. And have things moving about. You can't do that, your religion won't allow it, will it? Well, I'll deliberately not beckon them forth. I'll mess about with the formulae.

I don't know how you call them forth, but remember a caller had got... He had a bloke on the inside, if you remember certainly... he had a bloke on the inside if you remember. He always had a bloke on the inside. Yeah he did. He had a... what do they call it? Familiar. Yeah. Yeah, we know who that was. Spirit guide. Yeah.

Yeah. Who was it? What's he called? Sam. Sam, yeah. Where was Sam from? Sound of Scouse. I thought he was Indonesian. Was he?

Yeah. I didn't go that far. I didn't want to be over familiar. Frank, are you getting to like Spiritland more by the way? Speaking of spirits yeah. Oh yeah, Spiritland just as a little reminder is where we record these things. I was excited when I arrived because there was two of my favorite Russells were leaving the booth. Russell T. Davis and Russell Tovey were both exiting. You looked at me then like that was their names. Don't ever do that at my age. I was looking at you. I was on the phone and told the guy I was going to Zurich and he went Zurich and I thought that's what it's called isn't it?

Such is my self doubt. If I made that up, have I invented Zurich? Has it got to the point where you're telling people you're just going to schmooblee boo? Just think the places you've imagined. Anything, anything like that. It was just when you said two of my favourite Russells. Yeah. I like that because you know. But all the other Russells I know now will be offended by that. Yeah.

Well I'm fine with one of those. I'm fine with one of those. Yeah well we won't go into it. No no no. What's wrong with this mic? Right before we came into Spiritland, I actually, I got here slightly before you guys because I thought I'll eat here at Spiritland before we record, but they weren't doing food before. Did you come on your own as a sort of gentleman traveler thinking, oh, I'll have a little rep house? I'll have a little meal and then as you guys come in, I go, welcome. Yeah, with lots of plates. Just a tiny bit of egg yolk on the mustaf.

Welcome, and I'll have a napkin tucked into my collar. You were taking ownership of Spirit Lab. Well, we're starting quite early today. But they weren't doing food. Yeah, well not only that, but I can't use the freedom pass until 9.30. Wow. So I literally went through the barrier. Literally a problem that affects no other podcast.

9.30 and 38 seconds. Oh, what about imminent death? Have you heard that one? It's the old people's podcast. I snuck to Schumer's next door and I said, can you? This time of the morning? Well, they do a breakfast. It was very spicy.

What's it called? Deschum. They do a sort of naan. Do you know Deschum? No. A bacon roll thing. Okay. And I said, how quickly can you get me this roll?

And they said 10 minutes. And we went, well, I was ordering. How's this for service compared to Spiritland, land of frowns. I sat down and I made it clear that I had to be next door for this quickly. And while I was choosing what to order, the waiter came over and didn't look at me. He just pointed at the menu and said, wrestler's naan. Oh. Wrestler's naan.

It's called a wrestler's naan. He said, I went, wrestler's naan. Because you look like a wrestler. I can only presume. Wow. So what did you have? wrestler's naan. He said it went, wrestler's naan. Because you look like a wrestler. I can only presume. Wow. So what did you have? Just a naan? It's a naan with bacon and sausage and egg in it. Like a wrestler would eat, I guess. I imagine that you'd have corned beef hash. Do you know what? When you assume you make a hash out of you and me.

Oh my god. Sorry everyone. So am I. If I don't let these things out they fester. Yes, I've noticed that. Do you know what, one thing that always strikes me about Pierre is that he's one of the, I think you're the first person I've ever met who has supper at any time of the day. I would call those meals you have supper.

Oh really? Yeah, so you'll just have- The wrestler's naan? No, he had breakfast, didn't he? No, but then that's what I mean. He doesn't eat breakfasty stuff. The wrestler's naan was packed with breakfast. Yeah.

Breakfasty stuff. Yeah. Me and all the wrestlers, naan. I have breakfast. No, I've seen you have sandwiches for breakfast, for example. Sometimes, yeah. I have the wrestlers. I have fun. No I've seen you have sandwiches for breakfast for example. Sometimes yeah. I have the rock breakfast. You know that when you can get like a stick of rock rock but it's like an egg and bacon and stuff. Or if you had one of those every morning. What would be worse for you the rock breakfast or the real fry on? funny we had a health expert on the show. That'd ruin it.

Do you not like a health expert? It's the Frank Skinner podcast. A new winter change is blowing. It's the Frank Skinner podcast. I'm not totally sure how it's going This episode is sponsored by Shopify Do you ever feel like you're missing out because it seems like everyone is either starting a side hustle or becoming their own boss And you know what they're hearing a lot It's the sound of another sale on Shopify the all-in-one commerce platform to start, run and grow your business. Shopify is the commerce platform revolutionising millions of businesses worldwide.

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Anyway, I've been, what's been on the all of the BBC, like a rash this week, is like a rash-er, is food waste at Christmas. Oh yes. This is a big thing isn't it? I've certainly got one. Yeah, apparently, I mean, you know when you see statistics and you think, come on, calm down, it said something like 417,000 mince pies are thrown away after Christmas.

And I thought, oh, how can you possibly ascertain that? I'd love to see them do a sort of foot and mouth style bonfire of all the mince pies on the 1st of January. Sad farmers just driving a truck. And it would be retailers. Yeah, sad bakers. But there was, did you see that thing? There was a guy, I really like this. I'm talking about landlord Mark Graham, 62. Occasionally you read of someone in the paper and think boy am I with landlord Mark Graham 62. He runs this pub in is it Cornwall the pub I think.

It's yeah I tell you the pub it's in a place called Vogue. Sounds right out my strata. Yeah it is. And I'll tell you what's great about it. It's called the Star Inn at Vogue, because it's in the village of Vogue. And Vogue magazine actually sent a cease and desist letter. To the town? For inferring a connection between the pub and the magazine. Even other places called Vogue. This makes the rest of history look like an open and shut case to me. It's almost like the people at Vogue are quite entitled and spoiled. Yeah. Well, I think they had to back down. You can't change a village name because there's

a magazine. No. Certainly not. The writers of Vogue will never be welcoming Cornwall again. No way Jose, is that what they say. Or in Portugal, no way Jose. Well, also, I'll tell you why they won't be welcoming to this pub again, because you can't have leftovers on your plate. That's going to be a challenge, getting anyone from Vogue to not leave leftovers on the plate.

I know, I know, I tried to close it down. It goes against their essential ethos. We should say that if you, it's one of these when you go up like a buffet. It's a buffet, it's not even like one. A carvery? Oh, yeah. With all the sort of heated lamps and things? Oh, yeah.

Is it like that? What, the thermal bridge? The thermal bridge. Have you seen a thermal bridge? In a carvery? Yeah, it looks like Tower Bridge in London, but it's warm. Oh, yeah. And it spans the food. And the the heat instead of heat going upwards. It's coming. It's coming down. Yeah

Down onto it and keeps it Thermal bridge that's why I sit like this So stage facts on a date so the That the rule it is thing is if you take too much food from the Carvery's Strobe Buffet, he will charge you food wastage. If you don't eat it all. So he went up to, I think there was a grandmother and her daughter, and I like that she posted that she was a grandmother, there's so much emotion. So emotionally, I was a grandmother, there's so much emotional, so emotional in, I'm a grandmother.

Yeah, I can do anything. It's like people parking outside school to turn it out time. I can park in the middle of the road. I'm picking up my child. I'm a grandmother. Yeah. I can be naked. I'm being charity. I hope Sandy Mason doesn't say that. Yeah, strange things that people think entitle them. Someone nude and mugging people saying, I recycle, don't I?

So anyway, the grandmother. Yeah, the grandmother said he charged them, I mean he doesn't charge them a token amount, he charged them £4.80 for not eating enough of all of their food. I'm totally with it. Well listen, yeah, he does sound a bit slightly skinner-esque this man and I mean that in a loving way but he said I just think they had a very entitled way and thought they could do whatever they wanted. We've all been haven't we

at buffets when you see people walk past with a tower of food and think you're not going to eat that that's just horrible vile greed Have you thought that? I mean, I think he lost me at I say my mind and that's how it is Yeah, maybe you shouldn't have said that. He did post photos of the plates though and I have to say it is a Mental amount of food that is left You know what my dad said if you throw bread on the fire, the devil will appear.

So the bread on the fire devil, roast potatoes. Mark Graham. Mark Graham. Gammon, Heston Blumenthal. Different people appear depending on what you've thrown in the fire. Yeah. St. Catherine, Michael McIntyre. Heston Blumenthal. Different people appear depending on what you've thrown in the fire. Yeah. St. Catherine, Michael McIntyre. Yes. It is a lot though, and I'm surprised that a grandmother would have been so ambitious.

Yeah, exactly. How dare you? I'm a grandmother. Yeah. I can waste as much food as I like. I'm so hungry from being a grandmother, but not hungry enough. Not hungry enough to eat it, but I'm entitled to it. I like to look at it. Anyway, there's a great quote I saw from Mark Graham, which I made a note of. He said, we do curry nights, Indian nights, and all kinds of things.

And I thought, Mark, don't start a list if you haven't got your things assembled. So don't start a list when the first two are the same. He started with sorry nights. And then he realized he couldn't think of a second one and said, Indian nights. And then he was really lost. Best case scenario, do we think that he was making a distinction between the fact that most popular curries in the UK are actually from Bangladesh. Yeah, but where's the third item?

If either of that was true. Well, he might do it. He said we do pizza nights, Italian nights. He's got all sorts up his sleeve. I never try three adjectives. I've seen it on the news, Vox Pops. After flooding and stuff. Oh, we're tired and wet and exhausted. So no, it's the same as tired, okay.

Or they switch. Sort of soaked. No, no, you've said wet. All right, let me think of something. Come back, can you come back to me and speak to one of the other victims? Or they'll switch to an opinion. At the last minute, they'll swap in an opinion for the third edu- Just don't start- We're tired, we're wet, and it's outrageous. Yeah, don't start the list unless you know what's on it. I would agree with that.

Okay, that's a little- What about those very, not very bright lamps they use at buffets that keep- I believe the phrase is chambre. Oh, what's that? Is that a warmer? Room temperature. Oh, chambre. I think red wine is kept at chambre. Is that a warmer then, Franck? I didn't know what those...

No, that's actually, I think that is a... A term. Yes, the chambre. Oh. I think it must come from chamber and all that. No, it's French for bedroom, yeah. The room, yeah. Sometimes it's just a big light bulb above a sweating piece of beef. Yeah, sometimes it is just light bulbs. It's a big light bulb. But what about if you just put the food? Says Pierre as if he'd balk at any carvery. I balk only at the bulb, sir, not the beef. That's my motto.

There is something horrible about being made. What if they don't like the food, Frank? They could have piled it on their plate. I just want to represent these people. Someone's got to, for heaven's sake. Yes. What if they put, I've done that. I've put stuff on my plate, thought I'll like it, and then there's a load of onion in it. And then I cry and go home. I was in a restaurant in Wolverhampton. I know. Fame! Make some hands.

Glamorous lad. G-L-A-M. And the man, I got my meal, I started eating and he came up and said, is everything all right? And I said, well, I haven't done any television for nearly two years. Now I said, yes, I haven't tried everything. Yeah. I didn't know how to go in and have a bit of everything in anticipation of your arrival

with some sort of interrogation. No. No, and what I actually said to him was, why do people ask that? Why do people come over after like two minutes and ask you if everything's all right? He said, yeah, well, you get people and they come in and they eat like, I think he said four fifths of a meal. Gosh. He said, and then when you come over, they say, I didn't like it, I'm not paying for it.

And he says, so if we get them early and they say they like it, they can't pull that. Yeah. They can't pull that one. I've heard this. So, yeah, I mean, I can't believe that the food at the Star in Vogue is so horrible that people can't just try it. I don't know, I haven't been there. But sometimes, you see, I don't agree with this idea that you have to clean your plate. I'm sorry, because I don't think you should. Sometimes it's...

You don't have to, but did you see how much they left? I mean, can you give an audio representation, Pierre? Of how much they left. If it was a clock, where would the hands be? Oh, that's a good one. Oh, they'd be spinning round and round. I would say they've left... If it was the wheel... They've left 40 minutes of food.

If it was the wheel, how many categories would it represent? I'd say they've... How many chairs? At least six chairs. How many's on the wheel? I'd say eight chairs. Eight people. I'd say they've left ten big handfuls of food. Yeah. Big double handfuls. Really? That's a little inciting to how Pierre Nivelli eats. Some people would say fourfold.

Handful? Not with the rest of us none. He talks about food in handfuls. They say, faultful. Handful. No, no. Not with the wrestlers, none. No, it's all hand. Talks about food in handfuls. In handfuls. There's just such quantity. In the article, it says, in a sort of critiquing tone, that these people filled their plates to the brim. And I think, that's fine.

Yeah. It's a plate. The brim's not very high. No, but also. It's about a centimeter of food. That's okay. I'm really anti, yeah. No, but also... It's about a centimeter of food. That's okay. I'm really anti...

That thing about having a restaurant in Wolverhampton. I went into a... It's a cafe, I think, but I really like it, called Paul's and 41. You've been there with me, Peter. I have, yeah. Very good. I wasn't invited. To Birmingham.

It's a very tall Birmingham man. And I went there, stop me if I've told you this, but I went there, have I told you about the car crash? No. Oh, I remember this. I went there and a car had lost control on the street, crashed into the pool at 41 Cafe, crushed into the front of it. This whole big wooden front piece had fallen away to reveal masonry from the, I would say early 19th century.

And the guy was like standing groggy in the road with someone talking to him, the driver. The people who'd been sitting by the window had all gone up because they were so shocked and upset, this car hit him. And I went in and I said, God, what's happened? And he said, oh, that bloke apparently lost control of his car and he smashed into the front, really frightened those ladies at the front and all the front of the cafes falling off. Anyway, what you're having? That was the end. It was a major incident. What are you having? Oh, Birmingham.

That's resilience. It is, yes. Life goes on, Paul. That was earlier. Not now. Yeah, but it was literally about probably 15 minutes before. Sands go. Oh man. That made me happy. I was in Edinburgh and I was at a hotel. I can't remember if you, I think you might have been there Pierre as well. We hadn't done a gig in Edinburgh but we'd stopped off in Edinburgh on the way.

We're down from Aberdeen. I went down for breakfast on the morning and… Because he likes to go down for breakfast, do you know why? Because what's the point of being famous if you can't be seen at breakfast? I also like watching other people at breakfast. I like the intense self-consciousness of men gathering food from the tables, if it's everyone staring at them, where it's just me. And this young, I'd say she was probably 20, brought the menu. And remember I'm in Scotland and I said, oh the porridge I said is that like with salt because we're in

Scotland she said I'm not the chef I mean and I couldn't I tell you why I couldn't say anything it was just it was just post cordon do you remember the James Corden thing? It happened like about a week before and I felt my celebrity hands were tied at that period. It made it difficult for all of us. I mean now obviously things have relaxed again but I had to just take it because I thought oh no, I don't want to be on X. I'm so sorry to hear that and that took open courage to admit that as well. To stop yourself from saying, well if you're not the chef then bring him out.

Yeah, but what a thing to say, I'm not the chef. It's a mad thing to say. Yeah. And also in Scotland it's a perfectly legitimate question is the salt in the porridge. Yes. And what you say is I'll just go and find out or if she didn't in a bit to see. It's always funny when someone who is part of waiting staff answers questions as if they're

someone you've tapped on the shoulder at a bus stop. Exactly. I don't know. Don't ask me. Oh sorry. I'm so sorry. I mean I haven't named the hotel because the rest of the staff were all perfectly civil. Civil? Yes.

Frank have we got time for one brief outside world before we go? Oh sure. I thought you might enjoy this. It's from Colm. Colm Tobin. He's one of our regulars, yes. He comes from the place where what you call the Irish band come from. He comes from the same place I think. Hello all. Recently Emily described how she loathed Bugs Bunny. I know, I find that difficult to hear. He's very aggressive and unpleasant. I don't think he's aggressive,

I think he's a japester. Okay. And he's got a sort of fishnet stocking on under his own leg fur. Does he? Yeah, he'll do that thing. He's sort of a tamed, an Elmer Fudd. Oh, I hate that. He's sort of sexual.

I don't know if he wears that all the time. No, that was Bugs Bunny Nights and I don't watch that. It's a human leg under his fur. Oh, it's gross. Okay. It's all complicated, isn't it? If you go too deep into the anthropomorphic premises. Anyway, Colm says, Emily described how she loathed Bugs Bunny to which Pierre queried whether it was because of his lack of seriousness. Emily might empathise with

Tommy Lee Jones, who when working on Batman Forever with Jim Carey, famously asked Carey not join his table in a restaurant after a day's shooting, stating, I cannot sanction your buffoonery. Praise redacted, calm. That is a true story because Jim, I think Jim Carey told this story. He was very two-faced. Oh my God. Because Jim, I think Jim Carrey told this story. He was very two-faced. Oh my God.

That is, I mean, I've had similar. Have you had someone say similar to you? I had, there was a sort of documentary about me and Al Murray was interviewed and he said, yeah, I've never known anyone who just does as many jokes in conversation as Frank does. He said it can be pretty tiring. Could he not sanction your buffoonery?

He didn't sanction my buffoonery. He sanctioned it in small doses. Okay. Does Kath sanction your buffoonery? I don't think she's noticed. She's the toughest crowd I've ever had in my life. I've come up with stuff which I've thought that was absolutely magnificent. And some of them did fall on stony ground.

But you know, there are other things. She'd come up with more gadgets. Yeah, exactly. I think we move to the end now. By the way, before I go, and I know everyone looks forward to this bit, I have a poetry podcast that drops on Wednesday. I wish I could have predicted drops like that when I was a 14-year-old.

Now, I want to get this name right because it's hard to say, Wisława Symborska. And Wisława Symborska is, as you may have guessed, a Polish poet. And she is really tremendous. us. And the thing is with Vislava is that she wrote a poem, she's a Nobel literature, one of those people. What's the word? Nobel Prize for literature. Yeah. And that, as an Irish guy, I know you used to say at the end of every sentence. And she wrote a poem called Some People Like Poetry. That's what it's called this bit. And this, I'm just going to read you the first bit. So she takes some and discusses that and then like and what that means and what poetry means. But the

first bit by Wisława Symborska says, Some, thus not all, not even the majority of all, but the minority, not counting schools where one has to and the poets themselves. There might be two people per thousand, so that's how many people like poetry. So it's, for a poet to say that, she's a challenging, interesting, I'd say one of those poets who's accessible, so you think, oh this is pretty straightforward and then you think I'm going deeper I feel myself going deeper you know what I'm talking about thanks for listening to the podcast make sure to like and follow so you never

miss an episode and if you want to get in touch, you can email the podcast via frankofftheradio at avalonuk.com essential for safe driving in conditions like snow, slush and ice. While brakes stop the wheel turning, it is the tires that bring your car to a full stop. Ensure you have four quality winter tires such as Michelin X-I Snow tires, offering traction and a 60,000 km warranty. Check out michelin.ca to find the right winter tire for your vehicle today.