The Game with Alex Hormozi - Mastering the Grind: The Path to Achievement Pt.2 (on the Aubrey Marcus Podcast) | Ep 648

Episode Date: February 2, 2024

“Once you start winning, it's easy to impress other people.” Today, join Alex (@AlexHormozi) as he guests on the Aubrey Marcus Podcast to deep dive into overcoming limitations and achieving personal growth and success. They explore topics such as self-awareness, breaking through barriers, harnessing potential, and stepping out of comfort zones, while also providing practical tips for business growth and effective work habits. This is part 2 of the interview.Welcome to The Game w/Alex Hormozi, hosted by entrepreneur, founder, investor, author, public speaker, and content creator Alex Hormozi. On this podcast you’ll hear how to get more customers, make more profit per customer, how to keep them longer, and the many failures and lessons Alex has learned on his path from $100M to $1B in net worth.Follow Aubrey Marcus on:➤ Instagram | Spotify | Apple | X / Twitter | LinkedIn➤ Check out full episode on YouTube!Timestamps:(0:41) - The art of making friends and building mastery(4:04) - The importance of charisma and breaking down skills(12:44) - The power of volume in business(18:45) - The Solomon Paradox and self-advice(25:34) - The power of accountability and self-reflection(29:22) - The importance of self-truth and accountability(33:52) - The importance of action and accountability(35:48) - The power of defying expectations and proving others wrong(40:20) - The importance of learning and intelligence(46:22) - The power of effort and determinationFollow Alex Hormozi’s Socials:LinkedIn | Instagram | Facebook | YouTube | Twitter | Acquisition

They literally feed them back the stats about their own life just as a whitewashed character so they don't either know they're reading about themselves. And they say, what do you think this person should do? They give better advice than what they actually do as the person that they're describing. And so it means that we give better advice than we follow. Welcome to the game where we talk about how to get more customers, how to make more per customer, and how to keep them longer, and the many failures and lessons we have learned along the way. I hope you enjoy and subscribe.

One of the things that I think I really like about what I've heard you say on other shows before is that we can look at anything as a trainable skill. We can look at anything as a trainable skill. And one of the probably most beneficial skills that I've had that has been absolutely invaluable and inextricable from my success is the ability to make friends. The ability to make friends. And somebody thinks, oh, well, that's just natural. That's just, you know, you're just born with it. Well, yes, there's some certain attributes. that some people have, certain personality traits, et cetera. But actually, learning how to make friends is also a trainable skill.

And part of that trainable skill, like, how did Joe Rogan and I get to be friends? Well, I realized early on that people were interested if I had vast experience, or unique novel things, stories I could share, things that I could talk about. So by the time I met Joe Rogan, I was, let's see, I met him when I was, was like 28. So I was 10 years into my own psychonautic journey. And I heard him talking about psychedelics. And I was like, damn, I got a decade's worth of experience. I can tell him some crazy stories. And we can talk about that. And it was hell hard to get that first meeting. I had to come up with all kinds of different reasons and advertising this fleshlight on his podcast. And I was like,

and he was like, this is so weird, but there was no podcast advertising. So I recognized, I was like, we should meet for coffee to talk about. He's like, really? No, you can just fucking, I'll just send you the check. It's like, no, no, no, let's meet for coffee. Because I trusted that if we met, that we would become friends. I trusted that. So I bet the whole thing on even willing to lose a deal, no deal, unless we just meet for coffee. Well, that coffee turned into a three and a half hour dinner, turned to him inviting me on the podcast, turned to a two-year friendship. that two-year friendship turned into a business partnership. And that was one of the ways that I was able to be successful. And it's still one of the ways in life today

is I trust that through all of the different experiences, the challenging things that I've done, the interesting books that I've read, becoming a really interesting person, a person that someone wants to hang out with, and also knowing how to navigate and regulate my energy, so that I'm bringing a super, like, positive, fun, competitive, whatever vibe into a situation so that my presence is additive to their experience with me.

And that's something that not only is somewhat natural, but also I'm constantly cultivating. And I think for people out there who want to know, like, how do I build a network like Aubrey, how do I have all of these friends that you can do stuff? Well, build mastery. Mastery is irresistibly attractive. Like I will talk to the world, you know, foot, ping pong champion. If they're the world, like I see those on

Instagram, I don't know, my Instagram feed is always like people doing the craziest shit. I'm like, whoa, I will fucking have lunch with you. Like, you were playing soccer, ping pong, and you're killing it. You know, like, if you've done something, like put yourself through the path of mastery,

I'm going to want to hang out with you. Maybe that friendship won't last long, but there's something to training that skill so that you can become a friend to anybody that you meet. I love all of that. I do. I agree with all of it. Okay, so this might be really valuable for you guys. Right now, there's the person you are, and there's probably, hopefully, the person you want to be, and there's a gap, right? We agree on that? Okay. So that person that you

want to be has traits and has skills that you don't have, right? And I think that traits have been a word that we use as shorthand for bucket of skills. And when I say it that way, I think it'll help make more sense. And so we might make the argument that if you were more charismatic, you would make more money. Let's say that that was the argument we're going to do. You're like, okay, for whatever profession I'm in, that would be true to me. Okay, fantastic. Be charismatic.

What does that mean? And so right now, if, so the more skilled you are, the more general a command can be given to you, and you can still be effective. So someone can at this point say, hey, Alex, can you start this business? And I would say, sure. That's a very general command. Now, one level below that, it might be like,

can you advertise this product? And I would say, yeah, I can do that. One level below that would be, do you think you can make a post that people would click on to buy this thing? And I would say, yes. And we can keep going down. But the point is that if you have a skill set

that you want to attain and you don't know how to attain it, it's because you're using a bucketed word that represents many smaller skills. And so I'll use charisma as the example. So if we say this guy's so charismatic, you have to ask yourself, or at least I ask myself, why? Well, I describe him as charismatic because when he walks in the room,

he greets everyone immediately. He uses people's names. He shakes their hand and he makes eye contact. When someone is talking to him, he makes eye contact and he nods his head. When he talks, he looks there and he looks at them and he bounces back and forth. He asks questions up to the other person about themselves when he's talking. Now, that's like seven things.

If I said, do you think you can nod your head when someone else is talking and keep eye contact? You'd probably say, yeah, I can do that. It's great. That's one of seven skills that it takes to master until eventually people will describe you as charismatic. And so if you don't understand how to do something, you just need to break it into a smaller chunk. Because, like, we teach toddlers how to speak by approximating sound.

It's like, m, m, and then they're like, and you're like, ah, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap. And they're like, ah. And then we keep doing it until eventually they're like, mum, and you're like, yeah, right? And so that's their first word. And then you start comparing things between what they know and what they don't know

and making an association. You say, bottle, right? And then they're like, bottle. And so they can see with their eyes, something they know. and then they don't know the word. And so that's how we teach things. And so if we consider,

I like to think of myself as a toddler from a learning perspective because it allows you to take your ego away from a skill. So a lot of times, the skills that we need to learn are on the other side of just kind of like humbling ourselves and saying, you know what?

If someone said to go advertise, I don't think I would be able to do it. It's like, okay, well, let's break it down into six things. Do you think you can message someone? I can do that. Well, that's a component of advertising. Do you think you could make a post, that talks about something that's interesting.

Maybe. Okay, well, do you think that you could ask a question in the beginning of a video that someone would find interesting? Yeah, I can do that. Okay, well, then after that question, we then would make some sort of explanation around why we ask that. Okay, I think I can do that. Right. Okay, then at the end, we want to reward them for the ultimate thing

that we ask them to begin with. Great. Well, great. If you record that and you post it, that's a piece of content. Okay, I can do that. And so the reason that I write the books that I do and I try to make the content in that way is that if you can,

if there's something that a trait you want or a skill you want and you don't understand how to get it, it means you just need to break it into smaller pieces. Because if you break it down low enough, you'll be able to do it. And then when you have that, I'm going to go full 180 here. So remember when I talked about the beginning of it,

you just need to figure out how much money you want to make every day. Right? I need to make $3,000 a day. Okay, that means I need to sell this many units. Well, then you connect that and you sell this many units to whatever activity or input you have to do. because if you look at your calendar in terms of the things that you actually have to do with your time, then it gets a lot easier to plan and allocate.

Because your time is your only resource, especially if you're starting out. And so it's like, I need to make 100 DMs because that will get me one customer. And one customer is worth $200. Great. That means that if I do this every day, I'll make $6,000 this month. Okay. Based on the economics, will those people buy again next month? If so, then great.

The next month I do 12, next month I do 18. At that month, I hire somebody who's going to do it for $3,000 a month, and then I can keep stacking. And then now, I've got one person doing the same thing, and the business keeps stacking. I'm like, wow, I'm a businessman, right? But that's the idea is that, like, I believe in breaking things down to the absolute lowest level so that you can make it manageable. And then the more skilled you become, the more you can bucket all of those activities.

Like if someone's going to say, hey, Alex, an advertiser, if Aubrey's like, hey, I want to do this thing with you. this new supplement. Do you think you could write an email, and this is the headline for the email? And I'd be like, I got it. Like, I'm good. You know what I'm like, understood.

But if he was talking to somebody who was super junior, that's probably how we would describe it. But the only instance is that you are the person who's junior in this conversation, and you are the one talking to yourself. And that's the gap. What is this person that I want to become have in terms of skills and traits?

Can I break those things down into individuals? And then can I break that into activities that I can do on a daily basis, and does that ladder up to the amount of money that I ultimately want to make? If so, great, what's stopping? Let's go. Let's go. There's, and there's certain traits

that people think also that you just have or you don't have. One of those would be humor, right? Humor. Well, humor is something that some people have a natural affinity towards. They're just kind of naturally funny. They've probably been funny for a while. Maybe they had a funny parent.

I don't know what it is. However, there's improv classes that are, available in every fucking city that help you think fast, think in unique ways, and actually practice. You practice being funny. And like this idea of like, oh, he's so funny. And of course, everybody wants somebody around who's funny, because if you're hanging out and someone's funny, then the whole energy of the environment raises to another level. So your energy is actually cultivating another positive energy feedback loop because you're creating laughter in the space. So go to a fucking improv class.

Practice being funny. And then you get more funny. And then you find that meeting, you know, somewhere out there and something's going on. And you come up with that funny thing or you improv this little skit. And then you get a couple people laughing and then the people gravitate more towards you. And they're like, oh, shit. And then all of a sudden that friendship kind of can blossom off of this thing where you just have given yourself, well, I'm not that funny. Well, okay.

Work on it. you know, get better. You know, like there's, there's very few things that you can't train yourself up to that you want. Just height. Yeah. And then, you know, there's, but then there's also like, all right, how do I appear with that kind of largeness, largeness of presence and being? And that's also trainable. You know, like literally all of these things, even your physical attractiveness.

You know, they've even done studies about. how you stand, how you present yourself. I've seen a lot of people who look a lot of different ways, but you just look at them and you go, wow, that person is beautiful, right? And it's not actually the visage that they're wearing. And all of these people chasing all this Instagram filter beauty, to me, I'm like, that's not beautiful to me. To me, in my eyes, I don't see that.

Like, I see, yes, I recognize that there are, you know, physically attractive traits and qualities. but beauty is something that also can emanate from within is a skill that you can actually train yourself to actually be participatory in to the highest degree possible. So all of these different disclaimers of why you can't be this or do this,

throw all that shit out the window. Whatever you want, you can train that skill. I really believe that. I'm going to piggyback on that with violence. So, So the reason I want to bring that up is because I'll tell you the story because I think it might hit home. So when I was starting my first gym, I had a mentor,

and I wanted to advertise and get people to find out about my gym. And he had a bunch of tanning salons. And I was like, hey, man, like, how do you get people in the tanning salon? He's like, oh, we just put flyers out. And I was like, oh, duh, I'll go do that. And so I printed out 300 flyers because, you know, paper was expensive and I was broke. And so we put out 300 flyers. and I get back to the gym and I was like,

300 flyers, 300 members. I was like, boom, I'm going to be full. And I did get a call and it was a guy and he was like, hey, did you put this flyer on my car? And I was like, I did, as a matter of fact, kind sir. And he was like, you scratch my Mercedes. And I remember just like immediately hanging up the phone. Like I didn't even think about it.

It was like, I don't have the money for this. And thank God he never called back. But that was the only call I got from my 300 flyers. And so I called the mentor back up, kind of pissed off. I was like, hey, man. Like, he's like, oh, how'd that flyers thing go? I was like, I'll tell you. I was like, it went terrible.

I was like, I spent money in the flyers. And, you know, we went out there, put them all out. And I was like, and all I got was a call from a pissed off guy. And he's like, well, how many did you put out? I was like, I put out 300. He was like, 300? Like, yeah, 300. He's like, oh, not, you can't really know anything off 300.

And I was like, what do you mean? He's like, I mean, we test with 5,000 just to like see if any, if like one flyer is good or not. He's like, and if it's good, we do 5,000 every day. I know. And I heard that and I felt like such a pansy. And I remember thinking to myself, that was 150,000 flyers a month that he was putting out to market his business. And I was calling him to get pissed off at him for the fact that my 300 didn't work. And so there's this big misconception when you're starting out about the volume of effort that is required to win.

And one of the fastest shortcuts is to get around somebody who's already doing that level of volume because you just, you leapfrog levels, right? I remember I had a guy, and I was doing it just for context on that math. I was doing one five thousandth of his effort. So a lot of people are like, oh, he doesn't work twice as hard. he was working 5,000 times harder than me. And so, like, people can't comprehend that because everyone's, like, special snowflake and whatnot. But from an output perspective, it was, it was, it was,

I was a rounding error. I literally was rounded to zero in terms of my level of effort. And a lot of the beginners that I see who are getting, getting their business going, when I say beginners, I'm, all right, how do I say that the right way? Making less than a million bucks, I'm still including that in this kind of concept with,

with volume, is that, it takes so much more volume and for so much longer than you expect. And so the best thing to do that I've found is to find people who are actually succeeding at that level and find out how much volume they're doing and then double it. And the reason I say double it is because they're probably better than you at it. Like if I make 100 phone calls and you make 100 phone calls and assuming no reputation, whatever, I'll probably be better than you at it. Why? Because I did it for a long fucking time, right?

That's all I did for a very long time to get people into a gym. And so my skill gives me leverage, what I get back from what I put in. So I put 100 calls and you put 100 calls in. I get 10 appointments, so you get one or zero. More leverage. But if you do 200, you'll be able to start catching up to me in terms of skill. You'll start getting better and better and better until eventually you're also getting 10. And you're getting 10% of 200.

Now you're getting 20, right? You're getting more than I am. but you have to put that extra, like there's the work that you do to match someone, and then there's the work that you do to catch up. And I think that frame has been helpful for me when I was coming up because I don't know where everyone's at in terms of their family, their life, whatever. But I remember looking at, I had, mind you, I started really young. Well, really young nowadays isn't young.

But I was 23 when I started my gym. And there was a competitor down the street. And I remember seeing him on Facebook, like post a picture of him and his wife and his kids. And I was like, fuck yeah. I was like, he's enjoying his time. I was like, I'm fucking calling right now. I was like, I'm getting ahead of him. I'm competitive like that.

And so I kind of like those rocky cutscene days. But the issue is that the rocky cutscene lasts like two minutes in a movie and it can last five years in real life. Yeah. This is something that I think we lose sight of. We think of that we imagine that these rewards are going to be instant. They're just fucking not. It's a grind.

And it's not only a grind. And if some business just seems to pop off and take off. What you're not seeing is the countless failures that happened for 10 years prior so that gave them the leverage so that when they started this new thing, it just took off. Right. So it's like there's no getting around that amount of effort and that amount of work. And again, you can disclaim it and say, oh, it must be nice. Or you could say like, huh, interesting. What did that person do to get them in that position to be that way? How did Brampella get to be as funny as he is? how did he get to be on Wilden Out and clown and everybody else out there?

Well, he's got the reps. He's got the fucking reps to do it. He's put in the time and effort. And yes, keep going, keep going. Yeah, yeah. And you guys are going to get to hear. Who's Brent Pella? Get them.

But that's like, that's the fundamental thing. And so I want to shift gears a little bit because you have a really powerful tool. tool that I use as well. And the tool is the psychological tool. And the psychological tool, and I'll let you explain it, is you actually talk to an older version of yourself to give yourself the kind of guidance and the pep talk or whatever it is that you might need. So tell us how you came to that practice. Okay. So first off, if we're looking at you, like, who here could use advice on something in their life, right? I mean, right, everyone, everyone could use advice. And so if I'm looking at a source for advice, I want three things.

I want confidence. I want context and I want alignment. So like if someone's competent and they have context but they're misaligned, that is a recipe for getting fucked. They know exactly what they're doing. They know exactly what would hurt you and they are not aligned with you. Like it's a great way to get destroyed. And so one of the issues that I saw with a lot of modern like therapies, et cetera,

was that I felt like the incentives were misaligned. and I would often spend a lot of time trying to, I would spend 90 minutes trying to provide context for one decision to somebody who might not even be as competent as me within whatever the regard was, and their alignment was for me to come back again next week. And so I was like, I'm missing two or all three of the three things here. And so that just felt like a broken model to me.

And so I was like, okay, well, then what would it look like to have somebody who has all three? And so I stumbled upon this, so the psychological principle called the Psalm, Paradox. And so King Solomon, as you know, biblical figure, known for his wisdom and his wealth. But what was interesting about him as a character was that he also had a personal life that was in shambles. So he was known for like cheating on his wife and parting. And he sent somebody, you know, his son was a mess and he died and all the stuff. And so it's like, how can this man be so wise? And yet the other side of his life is a mess. And so that's why they call the Solomon and paradox is that people would come to him because his advice to other people was so good,

but he wasn't very good at following it for himself. And so they've now proven this that when they whitewash someone's own life, they literally feed them back the stats about their own life just as a whitewashed character so they don't either know they're reading about themselves. And they say, what do you think this person should do? They give better advice than what they actually do as the person that they're describing. And so it means that we give better advice than we follow. And so I thought about that.

And I thought, well, most of the time, I feel like I know what I should do, but I'm just a pansy about it. I want someone else to tell me. But I don't have the alignment. I have to provide context. And I have the same three issues. And so I was like, what if I could talk,

like, because the ultimate version who would have all three of those things would be end of game Alex. Right. 85-year-old me that's accomplices the things that I want to accomplish, who embodies the traits that I want to embody. and what would he say to me in this particular instance? Because he already knows how the game finishes.

Now, nine times out of 10, he's like, fuck off, this doesn't matter. But he's a dick. Anyways. Streets me like a kid, he doesn't understand. But the way that I do it is that every Monday, the first hour of my week, it says Solomon on my calendar. And for whatever reason I call him Solomon, even though it's me in the future. And it's basically I do it like a chat deal.

Now, I don't think you need to do it that. You could probably do a voicemail. You could do a video. You can do whatever you want. But for me, I think through writing. That's why I like writing books and things like that. And so I basically, it's me. And then I hit enter.

And then he's like, well, tell me about this. And then I do this. He's like, well, why do you think that? And then the nice thing, too, is that when I, sometimes my session is seven minutes. Like, I just get to the answer and it's like, all right, that's it. And oftentimes it's, I'll tell you one story. hopefully it'll resonate with someone here. So I had this really big thing that I've been building up to.

It was like a multi-year project. And all this anticipation, all this excitement around it. And it happened. And then there was something that just, like, didn't go the way that I'd wanted it to go. So I was very disappointed about this. But the thing that happened was actually, now, everything is ultimately under our control. But this one was a promise was made by a vendor.

And they had, you know, said that they would do that. And based on the decision-making criteria that I had at the time, which is that other people had done the same thing that I had done with this particular vendor. I felt like it was a reasonable decision just to have trusted this vendor to be able to do their job. They did.

And so it cost me about $15 million. And it was real money. Not like, I hypothetical, like, it sucked. And so I had to like, I had to like work through this. And so I had the session with Solomon and he knew the amount of time that I'd put into this project.

And he said, I am the product that you were building, not the thing. And he's like, an eye, and I know what you put into that, and I am satisfied, and that is enough. And that was like, it, like, I was like, okay, that was it. And so for me, that kind of, I believe in nothing. And so for me, that's, it's like, those are, and like, the thing is you can be absolutely real, at least for me with Solomon, because, like, there's zero ego there.

He knows if I'm bullshitting. He's like, come on. I'm like, ah, fine. And so I usually keep going until I get to actually a resolution, which was that, like, I am the product and I am satisfied, and that is enough. And the thing is, to be fair, his satisfaction is fucking tough because he knows if I could have tried harder. And so one of the tough parts is, like, beat, like,

so I'll say this to everybody who considers themselves a winner in the room. once you start winning, it's easy to impress other people. And so the only way to raise the bar is like, well, then how do I impress me? And so future me knows the difference between how hard I tried and how hard it looks like when I try when I have nothing left in the tank. And so like that delta is what Solomon pushes me towards. And so like, because I get the question a lot, which is like, okay, Alex, how do you still stay motivated? I'm sure you have stuff like that. And for me, it's because that has been the game.

It's like, how do I close that delta? Because, like, I think I'll die. And I don't think people will remember. And that's okay. But I'll know at the end how hard I tried. And that is what I've been trying to make my W, which is, like, leaving with nothing left. And so that's what I, like, really, really try for.

And I feel like Solomon is aligned with that. And he holds me accountable in a way no one else can. Because, like, I could talk to a therapist and say all the things that I did. like, you must have tried hard. But like, I know I could bullshit someone. Hey, guys, love that you're listening to the podcast. If you ever want to have the video version of this, which usually has more effects, more visuals, more graphs, you know, drawn out stuff. Sometimes it can help hit the brain centers in different ways. You can check on my YouTube channel. It's absolutely free. Go check that out if that's what you are into. And if not,

keep enjoying the show. And we can do that with our friends, too. We can enroll any one of our friends into believing our story, especially we're in like a relationship. conflict. We talk to a friend. We can enroll them in our belief system so easily. You know, it's so easy to get other people enrolled. But if you really, and you can even enroll yourself, well, that's the tricky part. If you're not careful, you'll enroll yourself in your own story. But then if you really go beyond that and then go into your own version of Solomon, some part of you really knows. Some part of you really knows what the real truth is, like what really happened. and that I think is also one of the key components to really loving yourself.

What you said is like, and that is enough. And like that feeling of, yeah, you gave it everything, man. And that was enough. And of course, that's the best. That's the best of you that will say that. But we'll also hold you accountable. It's what Don Miguel Ruiz calls ruthless self-love. It's like ruthless.

It's like you could have given that more. You could have stood, you could have stood more firm on your beliefs. You could have had more courage. You could have hustled harder. You could have tried more. You could have given it another chance. You could have done that. And so get after it.

Get after it. Like, really, like, that's the wisdom that we all have the availability to tap into if we use this kind of device. I also think that Solomon has been, like the frame of Solomon has been especially powerful because it removes external judgment to a large degree. Like, imagine telling your 85-year-old self. I mean, like, imagine it. So sometimes this is a weird, a weird fun gratitude thing if you're into that. I've struggled with gratitude.

I'm like, some people are like, I write a journal. I'm like, right now it's like, can you guys name 10 problems in your life? Right? But like, I got 20, right? But if it's like, name five things that are good, I just stand there. And I'm like, I am alive. And so a really fun one for me has been imagining Solomon reborn as myself in a present moment. So it's weird and trippy, but you're like, you wake up and I'm next to my wife.

I'm like, I remember when she was this young. I'm like, look at us. We're just kids. And I look out the window. I'm like, man, I remember when Vegas looked like this. It was before all the flying cars and shit. And then I wake up and like, oh, my back doesn't hurt. My knees don't hurt. Like, man, it's nice to be young. And like, it's a very weird experience to just imagine what life would be like is 85-year-old you and then actually live through that. And 85-year-old me doesn't give a fuck about what Susan thinks about my decision. And so a lot of times, and I've gotten better at this as, you know, I've gotten older and whatnot. But I remember when I was trying to sell the company, we were trying to sell the company.

I was like really not sure if I wanted to do it or not. And I was like, why am I hesitating? Like, what's, like, why am I, what is this? And it's like, well, what will people think? But it's never people. It's like two people. And then you name the two people. And then I was like, do I really want John's opinion to be the reason that I,

and I was like, that's fucking dumb. But it's like, as soon as you name it, then it becomes real rather than this amorphous thing. And Solomon just makes me name shit. And he's like, you really don't want to become me because of dumb? He's like, no, you should do that. Do it. I mean, he's a dick.

You know, but lovingly. Ruthless self-love? Yeah. And so I also just think it's a really powerful frame for getting around. Like, there's the thing that you want to do, and there's the thing that everyone else thinks you should do, and everyone else thinks you should do. It's probably not the right thing to do.

One of the, another thing that I've used before in my life is very similar to that. And it's imagining that I got beamed into my body in my life right now as like a fresh new consciousness. It came from another dimension and I beam in. And I use this when I'm really kind of in a shitty mood or like down on myself or whatever. And I kind of look around and I'm like, wow, look at my wife. That's fucking awesome. I'm like, wow.

Like, I can ball. That's cool. You know, like, oh, wow, my house is beautiful. And like, all right, well, maybe there's these things that I don't like. Well, I can fix that. I can work harder in this area. I can bounce back from this, but we get saddled by all of our past regrets, our past grievances, all of this baggage that we carry because we're blaming ourself of the past and then holding

ourselves as the person who made that mistake rather than the person who grew and evolved from that mistake. But if you can come in, clean slate and just go, all right, where am I at? Oh, fuck, I'm at Arcadia. Damn, this is cool. What am I going to do? Fuck, I'm going to have a blast. And then after this, I'm going to go home and I'm going to figure some shit out. And I just heard Alex Hormozian, I'm fuck, I'm going to fucking grow my business. I'm going to make some money.

Like, all right, I can do this because you lose that history that keeps you saddled to what you once were. But you're not that person. Like Heraclyde said, one of my favorite quotes, no person steps in the same river twice because it's not the same river and they're not the same person. You're the person who grew and evolved and learned from everything you did. So if you can give yourself that blessing of just being like, all right, here it is. clean slate, right the fuck now. What are we going to do?

Build something awesome. Be something awesome. I love that because there's a... The river thing slaps. That was great. So I was involved in this lawsuit a few years back, and it was something that I invested a lot of time in. It was like a really big amount of money. And I was right at the...

Right at first you're like, I feel wronged. It's like the immediate, like, that's not fair. whatever. And I played it out through a Solomon frame. And it's like, all right, well, what changes about your life? If it goes the way you want it to go and if it doesn't go the way you want to go? I was like, well, if it goes the way I wanted to go, I'll be young, wealthy, happily married, and have a little bit more money from this lawsuit. He's like, what if it doesn't go the way you want to go? I was like, I'll be young, married, less work, because I won't be working on this thing anymore. And yeah, he's like, sounds like, it sounds like,

a win-win, bro. It was just very weird because a lot of, like, my dissatisfaction was only about the expectation that I had of what I thought I deserved rather than, like, what is it going to change about my life? And I remember, like, especially if I ever get into a pansy mode about being super sad about something, it's like, well, I had nothing and was pretty happy, too. And so the worst case is like that. And that wasn't that bad. And so just like, how much is it actually going to change my life. I think the reason that I, the reason I talk, like, the reason I think developing frames like this is so powerful is that the vast

majority of the time, the things that limit us in business is not knowledge. Like, I used to sit down with women all day long because that's what I did for the weight loss stuff. And I'd be like, Susie, let's be real. You'd be like, I just don't know what to do. I'd be like, eh, do you? And they were just look at me like, did he just say that? And I'd be like, what do you think is going to have?

Because they'd be like, tell me about the program. I'm like, what do you think it's going to be? I'm like, I don't know. I was like, what, do you think you're going to eat donuts all day? They're like, well, no. I'm like, do you think you're going to move more than you do now? They're like, yeah. And I was like, you're on the right track.

And then, like, I tease out the point. Then I'm like, knowledge is not the issue. You're going to stop eating shit. You're going to move more, right? That's not the problem. Right, the problem is that you're not doing it. So let's tackle that. Right now, like, anybody, like, if you guys are in the, like,

I want to grow my business phase, learning to, like, that stuff straightforward. Let more people know about the stuff. Give them shit in exchange for money. and you're like, what do I give them? Give a lot of people free things until eventually somebody comes back and says, I want more of that.

I think that's it. But it's like, why are you not doing that? And I think a lot of times the frames like this, like Solomon Frame and whatnot, are to hopefully deb baggage you or whatever, release the weight that you're carrying around Tom. Who's like, did you, do you DM my wife? Did you DM my wife about your business?

You're like, yeah. And so, like, a lot of times, like, the absolute acceptance frame has been super powerful, which is like, must be nice. You're like, it is. Because it like, it just melts people. Like if you're in these like, you know, like you get in a comet war or something,

and they're like, it's because your dad gave you everything. You're like, you're right. And so it's just because we have this fear of being labeled something by somebody. It's like, well, I don't label me that. But if you do, that's cool. Because you're going to die eventually. So why?

But if you're going to die, eventually, it means it won't matter either. So, like, fine, then I can use it both ways. And so, like, that's just been really helpful for me, just because, like, my ultimate expression of myself in terms of, like, solemn in me is just absolute agency. So, like, I do what I truly want to do. Now, obviously, that's not hurting people, things like that. But, like, that I do it without fear.

And I think that's, I think that's what I really spent a lot of time trying to tackle, which is, like, what am I afraid of? And it's not like the big monster and whatnot. It's usually just judgment. or rather perceived judgment from people who aren't thinking about me. And then it comes from a combination of discounting the value of their judgment and increasing the perceived value of Solomon's judgment. And I think that over time, if I can just keep sliding more and more marbles

into just gaining Solomon's opinions or Solomon's approval, I think it's a better version of me. And so I just see it as a continuum rather than a binary of like, I am this person or I am this person. It's just like, I'm more this person today. And I'm going to keep sliding more marbles onto this side until most people describe me in this fashion. I love what you're saying, too, about how to deflect those kind of comments and judgments that come in in this more yes-and model.

Your dad gave you everything. Like, yes, and he gave me way more than you possibly could ever imagine. Because he gave me beliefs and he gave me a field of value. And he gave me a lot of these things that you will never even quantify. So, yeah, you're right. You know, and, yes, and, you know, rather so instead of trying to combat people and getting in this, this battle, you know, just like, yeah. And this will be really fun for you guys.

So like, if I were, if we like transitioned into Q&A or something like that, I'm not saying we do that, but if we, if that were to happen, right, someone would get up and say, well, here's why that won't work for me. Special reason, 16B, whatever, right? And so I've just, because I've done a handful of Q&A's now. And I've just realized it's been more powerful to just say like, you're right. Next question. And then they're like, it's like, no, no, this is the reason that I can't succeed.

And you're like, yeah, you're right. You'll never succeed. So. And then they're like, well, yes, I will. And you're like, great. So here, the fighter showed up. Great. You were fighting on the wrong side.

Right? It's silly, though. But, like, we do this contrarian thing for no reason to, like, to give ourselves excuses. But, like, if someone were to say, you're right, you'll never succeed. you're like, what the fuck? Yes, I, okay, great. Then you don't have any questions. So move on, right?

Like, it's just this, this is like, it's just conflict for no reason. And so I think that right now, if you have certain excuses, because like, right now, there's probably a reason that you're like, whatever it is, is the reason that I am not winning.

And I used to call this, because I do a lot of sales training stuff too. I call it the reason close, but it's insane how effective this is because it's so silly sounding. Whatever the reason they say, is just say, and that's the perfect reason you should do this. They're like, I can't sign out for this weight loss program because my husband doesn't

support me. You're like, the reason that you should sign up for this weight loss program is because your husband doesn't support you. I, you know, I can't do this because I don't have the time. It's like, that's the perfect reason to it. It's like, I can't do it right now because it's a really busy school. I don't have it because I don't have the money for that. It's like, well, that's the perfect reason you should do it. It doesn't really matter. Like, whatever reasons you have are basically irrelevant. Because the doing just needs doing. And it doesn't really care if you have a reason or you don't have a reasoner, if you're a good person or a bad person or what you think about yourself. Because like really shitty people

can still win. And I'll tell you something that's kind of weird for me, but like for a very long time, I considered myself a very bad person. And maybe somebody here has a similar belief. But like I had that internal feeling about that, which was like, I feel like the bad guy. I feel like the villain. And a very freeing thought for me was that like, I can still do the stuff that successful people do and still win anyways. And that was kind of cool for me, because it was like, oh, this is still under my control. It's not like only the good guys win. Like, bad guys can win too. I identified as that. And so I just like boiling things down to behaviors because everything else I find to be completely distracting, which to be fair is probably why I've been, I would say, on the other

pole, which maybe when you go all the way around, we're in the same spot from a 180-degree perspective. but I have spent very little or zero time thinking about manifesting and thoughts and psychology and like all of these things at least as I understand it in this community. I could be totally wrong, but I'm saying as I see it. Because I just never felt like it mattered. Because if you do 100 reachouts, more people will find out about your stuff. Whether you set affirmations in the morning, whether you wooed into existence, whether you, it's like it doesn't matter.

And so just focusing on the behaviors and the activities that I needed to do has just been my absolute razor to cut through the noise. And if you have that frame, you will also be able to basically throw out 90% of the bullshit that you hear every day in your newsfeed from people who haven't been there and never did it anyways because they have to fill lots of fluff in their content because they have no substance because they don't know the actual activities that did it. And so if you get to the end of something, all right, this is,

I'm going to go on a little thing here. So I'm going to find two terms that I think, think are very meaningful. So learning and intelligence. So intelligence. I'll start with that. Well, fine. I'll do learning first. So learning is same condition, new behavior. So if I showed you all a red card and then I slapped you, you'd be like, whoa. Then I don't say anything. Then I show you a red card. And then I slapped you. You'd be like, whoa. And then I showed you a red card and then you duck. Same condition, new behavior. You learned. intelligence is rate of learning.

It's a speed. It's how, like if I show you that, and it takes some person 10 times for them to duck, and one person the second time they duck, the second time person is smarter. They're more intelligent than the 10 time person. And so a lot of you here, I'm looking at you, think you're really smart.

But you go back home to the same condition, and you do the exact same thing. So how smart are you? red card, slap. You don't change. And so by defining it that way, it actually makes intelligence under our control. And so if you, I'm sure you wanted to grow to some degree by coming here for this whole event and obviously you guys here today, but if you leave here and your behavior doesn't change in the same conditions, it means you learned nothing. And I think that's been a really powerful frame for me.

Because if I go somewhere, I'm like, what behavior will I change from this? And if you go somewhere and there is no behavior that changed, then maybe you shouldn't go there anymore, or maybe you should change. One of the two. Because either that didn't give you anything or you're not receiving anything, right?

And so that has been helpful for me in terms of how I consume information, which is like, will this change anything about my behavior? No? Well, then either this wasn't valuable or I need to change something. I remember there's a story that when I was working for, so I had a, you know, kind of a boutique marketing company,

and again, I've already mentioned it. So my stepdad is the founder of Fleshlight. And so I did not know. Yeah, I know. It's crazy, right? And so I was helping him out with his marketing. And he brought me into the office one day, and he fired me a couple times, actually, which was rude, I just felt like.

Must be nice. Yeah. But he brought me in right before he fired me to, like, last time, which I'm super glad that he did. But he brought me in and he goes, you know what? He just brings me into him to like a meeting into his office, which eventually became my office. I took over his whole building. And that's right. And he goes, you know what, Aubrey? You will never be successful without me. And I go, that is a fucking dick thing to say. And I'll be like, mark my words, motherfucker. And I remembered that. I remembered him saying that. And our relationship

was strained for some years because I was like that is a fucked up thing to tell your stepson. And finally, you know, and actually I was sitting Shiva for my father who passed and I brought my stepdad because my stepdad knew my father and I brought him in and we were just sharing. It was just me and him and say, hey man, it's one fucked up thing that you said, you know, and you brought me in that office day and you said you'd never be successful without me. Like, why'd you say that? And he goes, Because I knew you were a fighter. I knew you were a fighter. And I knew if I said that to you,

you wouldn't rest a single fucking minute until you proved me wrong. And I was like, God damn. God damn. And it was so like for him to have that awareness and know that that was exactly the right thing, he could have been like, you're going to be so successful. I've seen how hard you work. You're a hard worker you're going to do it.

that wouldn't have accomplished a fraction of what that one thing. And he knew he was going to have to bear the price. He knew that I was going to resent him. I was going to hate him for a little while. But he knew that that would propel me because he knew me. And he told me, he was like, I watched you. I was a basketball player. And our cross-town rival was the booey bulldogs.

Fucking booey bulldogs. And it's just the rowdyest crowd. I mean, the bench was right in the stands. And they literally spit on you when you're on the bed. It was like fucking savage. We hated each other. And I remember I, like, I shot an airball that day. And they were just, I was like team captain, and they were just fucking ripping into me.

And I was like, fuck you guys. And I just went on a tear. I just went on a run, scored like 10 in a row. And one foul. I met the free throw line. They're chanting air ball, air ball. And I just take my time and I look over at the visitor stands. And I just winked at him and swished it.

And he's like, my stepdad recalled that. And I don't think about that. that that much as high school basketball you know i remember that moment he's like when i saw that when i saw you after all of the whole crowd turned against you and you went twice as hard and you just wouldn't be stopped and then you looked at all of those people who were chanting in unison airball and you just winked at them and you hit that shot like i knew you were a fighter and i knew that's what would bring the best out of you is not everybody pumping your tires but someone to say that you couldn't And I was like, fuck, fuck, like, thank you.

You know, like, thank you, Steve. Like, thank you for that gift. And so many of these people, so many of these detractors that you have, you know, you can look at it like, I can't believe they're saying this. I can't believe they're doing this. Or you can go, thank you. Watch me. Watch me.

Yeah, bro. Any closing words you'd like to leave the people here with? Any final sentiments? I don't know what to serve you guys the best, but I talk about this thing in my book called the Rule of 100. And so I'm just going to close on something tactical. I already gave you the learning thing, which is if you don't do anything different,

when you go back to the same condition, you've learned nothing. And that's probably not what you want, which means you probably should change your behavior. The Rule of 100 is pretty simple. You do 100 primary actions every day until you get to your goal. And the hard, part is figuring out what the 100 primary actions are. And so those 100 primary actions,

if you're in a business, is probably going to be some level of promotion. And that might be promotion to get an employee. Like, you can use this stuff to get customers. You can use it to get employees. You can use it to get influencers. You can use it to get agency, whatever it is. But set a timer. Kitchen timer works. Five bucks. And do the 100 reachouts. Do the 100 minutes of content. Spend $100 a day on ads, whatever it is, and start your day with that. And if you ever look away to your phone or you go to get a drink of water, you go to the bathroom, like, pause the timer and see how long it actually takes you to do it. Because I found that a lot of times my fear around doing some of this stuff is it makes it feel. I think this is a Lela quote that she says,

but it's like fear is a mile wide and inch deep. And so it looks like it's an ocean, but you take a step into it and you realize it's really shallow. And so we have these fear of rejection, fear of making content, of making the post of whatever it is for a bad comment. But when I started quantifying things based on the amount of time that it was going to take to do whatever that action was, that it's like, all right, my hundred is going to take me two hours and 15 minutes, or it's going to take me three hours and 12 minutes on average. All right, it's seven. All right, I'll be done at 10.15. And then you just crank the timer, you start. And so a lot of times, there's been a lot of, you know, recently, and I like to speak out against it, a lot of woo-woo around

these extended morning routines and things where people like have to prepare to work. They masturbate about the idea of working. And I'll tell you, the best morning routine is the one that gets you to work fastest. And so like the work needs doing and the faster that you start, the faster it will be done. And so everything that I do before that moment is just actually elongating that time. And so if it's seven o'clock now, it's like, well, if I do an hour of prep and then I still have three hours and 15 minutes of work, it's like, I just want to fucking start. And I think if you can just confront the work and disassociate the long-term reward for the actions that you're doing and reassociate the work with Solomon or whoever that person is that you want to be as you chopping the wood or sculpting the marble of the person that you want to. want to become and giving yourself that basket of skills and traits that they eventually ladder up to,

then every day you feel like you are crafting that masterpiece. And the thing that I'm spending the most of my mental energy on right now is defining winning by level of effort. And so I can only win, I only get to win if I leave nothing in the tank. And by doing that, it's like, it's going to take longer. Awesome. have less in the tank. Oh, it's going to be even harder. Awesome. I'll have a bigger opportunity to empty my tank because that's the only way that I win. And so I think if you can redefine it that way, the external winning takes care of itself really easily. And so that's, that is my parting words is that if you don't change your behavior, you learn nothing. And that

is tactically what I would do if you don't know what to do is start at first thing, start a timer, and do not stop until the timer is done. Let's go. Let's go. There goes. And I love that as I love that as the parting words. And I just also want to say, like, for people who claim they don't have enough time,

just take a gander at your screen time calculator on your fucking phone. Take a gander. And then come up with that excuse to somebody while showing them your screen time calculator on your phone. You're right. You're never going to be successful.

You know, so, fundamental we all have more capability than we need to. Like Stephen Presfield, when he asks about how he writes, he says, I just fucking sit in my chair at 9 o'clock every fucking day or whenever he ends up starting. And that's just where I am. I show up. That's what he talks about in turning pro.

That's how you turn pro. You just show the fuck up. You put in the effort. You do the work, and the results will come. Love you guys. Let's have a fucking great time. Thank you, Alex. Thank you, thank you.

Thank you, guys. Thank you.