The Game with Alex Hormozi - The Hormozis: Love Logically and Go All In (on Lifestyle Builders Podcast) - Sept. '18 | Ep 403

Episode Date: July 2, 2022

Is it possible to balance both your work and love life? Today, join Alex (@AlexHormozi) and his wife Leila (@LeilaHormozi) as they guest speak on the Lifestyle Builders Podcast with Tom & Ariana to share how they hit it off as business partners at first, and how their relationship eventually deepened as spouses. They also talk about how there are actually many similarities in principles when it comes to business and romance!Welcome to The Game w/Alex Hormozi, hosted by entrepreneur, founder, investor, author, public speaker, and content creator Alex Hormozi. On this podcast you’ll hear how to get more customers, make more profit per customer, how to keep them longer, and the many failures and lessons Alex has learned on his path from $100M to $1B in net worth.Check out the episode over on the Lifestyle Builders Podcast YouTube Channel!Timestamps:(2:23) - From business to life partners, their communication, and routine (8:49) - The concept of “loving logically”, and business being their life mission(13:48) - Managing expectations, roles, etc. with your partner both in business and in life(17:50) - Key takeaway from Alex and Leila’s marriage Follow Alex Hormozi’s Socials:LinkedIn | Instagram | Facebook | YouTube | Twitter | Acquisition

Moza Nation, four years ago, Layla and I did a podcast, which was actually one of our first podcast we ever did together that we were both invited to, to talk about our marriage. And I always feel uncomfortable talking about our marriage within the context of like something to emulate for a couple reasons. One, because we're young and we've only been married for five years. And I think there's a massive, you know, Himalayan grain of salt that, you know, our advice can be taken for. So what we share in this podcast are the things that worked for us. And so, So, you know, there are elements of our marriage that are unique. You know, we met pretty much under a business context.

Layla already loved business. And so we went into business together as a result of that. I didn't, you know, have a romantic relationship, but then try and get her to love business. That was kind of our shared mutual interest at the onset. And we run our marriage a little bit uniquely. And so if you don't have a spouse that's in business that you would like to be, I think it's worth listening to. And if you have a spouse that you are in business with, then obviously I think it would definitely be worth listening to. And we're posting this because it's the response to a lot of questions that we get.

And so this is our attempt to try and answer some of the questions that we get from you guys, which is how do we manage our life? How do we manage the dynamic between being partners? How do we be husband and wife and also, you know, CEO and COO and all the kind of interest keys between those things? So buckle up and enjoy. We loved each other, but it was like not like, we weren't like in love until we like intentionally went all in on the relationship.

to like kind of add on from there. Like how do you build a relationship on top of business? You take the same principles that make a business successful. Like communication cadence, what you talk about, when you talk about it, having organization and structure in it, and you put that in a relationship. Welcome to the game where we talk about how to get more customers, how to make more per customer, and how to keep them longer, and the many failures and lessons we have learned along the way.

I hope you enjoy and subscribe. All right, everyone. We are back. We've got an exciting couple for you, Today we're on with Alex and Layla Ormosi. Guys, thank you so much for coming on with us. How are you doing? For sure.

We're doing great. It's a new Monday, so you start to the week. We just got back from traveling. Awesome. Awesome. You guys do a lot of traveling. Try not to. Us as well.

We enjoy our home time when we get it. Yes, definitely. I love my space. I love my own space as well. So I'm curious because most, most couples that we talk to have the relationship first and then they had the business in later on. You guys actually did it the complete opposite. So how did you, and very fast?

Yeah. So how did you, when you, so much of the focus initially was on the business, how did the relationship then build off of that? I think it came from a place of respect. I guess Alex would definitely say that. And then opening ourselves up to loving each other. we loved each other, but it was not like, we weren't like in love until we like intentionally

went all in on the relationship. And then to like kind of add on from there, like how do you build a relationship on top of business? You take the same principles that make a business successful. Like communication cadence, what you talk about, when you talk about it, having organization and structure in it and you put that in a relationship.

The same thing even with like roles, you know, roles and responsibilities like within the business and then rules and responsibilities within the relationship. And so we outlined, like, what does your perfect day look like for you? What, like, what would your husband need to do in order for it to be a perfect day for you? And I think a lot of us are afraid to ask that or even more so afraid to say what we really want. You know, maybe you do want to have sex twice a day and get, and like get a hand massage at night and all your meals cooked for you and delivered to you at your table. But a lot of us are like, man, it's not like such a dick if I said that.

So we're afraid of asking for it. But then when the other person doesn't know, you know, what's ideal, because I know that anything, anything that Layla would ask, I'd be like, sure, just give me the cheat codes. You know what I mean? Like, if this is what, like, these are your buttons, like, just get into. You know what I mean? And so that was a huge step for us. But, like, we're such advocates of loving logically. Because both of us had, you know, probably like a lot of people, you know, relationships in the past that were like chemistry and like emotion and like all this, you know, whatever. And this was both of our first relationship that was not at all like that. And it was really, really, really, really based in, like, a deep friendship.

And, like, when we got married, like, it was not romantic. I just looked at her one day and I was like, I think we should get married. She was like, I think we should too. And then I got her, like, and we were married eight days late. So, like, that was literally how it happened. And, like, from the day that we got married until now, our relationship has, like, massively blossomed compared to what it was on the day of our actual marriage.

Because we were both like, oh, shit, what do we do that? We really just make that flash decision. But we're big believers that you don't need time. We need information to make decisions. And we had the information that we needed to make a good one. I want to go back to that part that you talked about because I think it's huge is what would your ideal day look like? Like what would you want from your husband or wife? Because I think when we do that ideal day exercise, we like to call it ideal every day,

you often think about like, well, what do I want just for my day? But you don't include that other person. And I think that's huge because they don't know what's in your brain. They can't read your mind. So if you say like, oh, I want this or I want such and such, but you don't include, I want my husband to or I want my wife to, they aren't going to know if you don't make the ask. And I think, like you said, it is a little scary sometimes to put like our deepest, darkest

desires out into the world like that. But again, it doesn't necessarily mean that that person has to up and do everything that you just wrote on the list. You're letting them know, here are some of the things. that I would absolutely love, you know, to be able to do with you on a daily basis. And then you kind of work those things in so that it makes sense for both of you. Because, I mean, there's probably things that he would love to do on an ideal every day. And I might have absolutely no clue whatsoever what those look like if he doesn't tell me.

You know, I might be like, yes. I know I'm pretty well. Well, it was like you said, like the cheat codes, like so much. And, you know, I love how you said the same principles that apply in business, applying your relationship because I took a lot of the business experience I had in brought it into our relationship. And like you guys mentioned, the cadence and the communication, that has just made everything else so much easier because most people think, well, we fall in love and it all just works. It's like, no, well, you've got to have the structures and some of those

things in place to support you and making it work. Yeah. Yeah, I love that. So you guys got married and then things kind of blew up, like you said right before, I guess you started to kind of grow and really things are just going hot. What was the super speed level? So what are some of the things that you've implemented with each other on the personal side to make sure that you're not constantly letting the business take over all the time? Honestly, I feel like it's pretty easy for us because it's a routine now. First thing is in the morning, you know, we have our coffee together and we write down the three things we're grateful for and the three things we do to be a better person that day.

And we usually share those with each other. and we do that over coffee. And that's usually like, once we do that, then we share what we're going to do with for that day. Like, what do you have on your list for today? What do I have on my list? And we do that every morning. And then we work out together right after that.

So after we've done that, we lift together. We have a home gym. And so it's fun because then we get to like talk about something that we both love doing, which is like lifting. And we get to do it with each other, which is cool, and jam out to the music. And then we go and he works in here, which is our guest house.

and then I work in the house and then we don't talk until lunch, which lunch, I'll usually ping him and be like, hey, it's ready. And then he comes in and we eat together. So we have every, we make sure to have every meal together. So then we have lunch together. It's usually like 40 minutes and we talk about maybe what we've done so far that day. Anything we need to let each other know of, etc. And then we break again. And then we have dinner. We usually start around like 630, prepping for dinner. And then our whole thing with dinner is like you put your phone away. and then once we eat dinner, usually we do not work after that. So that's something that we did in the beginning.

We would work after dinner until we couldn't see the computer. Or because work is always going to be there, but like you don't know. Like there will always be work to do, but you have to make time to do other things. So we'll spend time together afterwards, going to walk, watch a movie, read, do whatever, just talk, sometimes just sit on the balcony. So we actually spend a lot of time together. So I'm curious, how do you make that happen when you have a company that's growing so fast like you guys have? I was going to, I was going to add to the first, well, there's two things that I wanted to cover.

One was like the topics of conversation and interest. And the other one is what you just asked. The reason that we stopped working after dinner was because when we started the business, we were less advanced business owners than we are now. And there just gets to a point where, like, there is so much work to do that one person will make no dent in it. And so at that point, it's like, what things can we delegate, what things, what skills can we teach other people so that we don't need to be the

one doing them? I mean, it's like, you know, Richard Branson isn't running this company. You know what I mean? And so it's really kind of taking it from that that angle. And then to circle back to what Layla was saying before, I honestly have a really hard time helping entrepreneurs who don't, I'm just being honest, who aren't married to their spouse.

They're obviously married to their spouse who don't work with their spouse because it's such an integral part of like our relationship. When we said love logically, like, I think there's a reason that people are, like, man, this really makes sense on paper, right? We really made sense on paper. And then we just believed that chemistry could be created with repeated action, right? But like we both liked fitness. We both liked business. We were both Persian. We both had the exact same life story in terms of like she was raised by like a single dad, the second half of her life, had a lot of like basically

transitioned from being raised by her mom to being raised by her dad, which is the exact same story I had at the same age, we're just kind of nuts. Then we both traveled to California on a whim to go get into fitness. So like we had the same story. And so it made a lot of sense on paper. And most people when they meet us, they're like, you guys are really, really similar. And I think it's a good thing. Like opposite to tract, but like when you're similar, things are really easy. Like the same stuff. You're like, man, my wife loves this shit. I hate it. I'm like, I don't have that. Like she likes fitness. She likes sales. Like we don't, some people like don't talk about business. sit then or like it's bullshit. It's like our lives. So what else we want? I guess yeah, and I guess that is

like topics of conversation and like separating things. We just look at it like life. So I guess like we don't limit any topics because like our mission is what we're doing right now. Like our, our purpose in life is 100% alive in our business. And there's nothing more exciting for us. So it's like, oh, let's go like do something that's fun and creative outside of work. And we're like, work is fun and it's hard to go from driving like a NASCAR to like going to like you know riding a moped and that's what I feel like when we talk about other conversation topics it's like we're doing with such high level things now that are so fun that it's like you want to talk about like wallpaper what like what are we going to talk about.

Hey guys love that you're listening to the podcast if you ever want to have the video version of this which usually has more effects more visuals more graphs you know drawn out stuff sometimes it can help hit the brain centers in different ways. You can check on my YouTube channel. It's absolutely free. Go check that out if that's what you are into. And if not, keep enjoying the show. Yeah.

I was going to say, we found similar thing too because initially when we were working with entrepreneurs, sometimes they'd be single or they wouldn't have families. What we found is that we kind of have all these couples gravitate to us. And a lot of it's because just like you guys said, it's this is, they're so integrated to each other. And, you know, that point about wanting to do something. else. I think so much of this comes from like non-entrepreneurs. Like they don't enjoy their job. They live, you know, for the weekends. But when you become an entrepreneur, it really is take your passion,

figure out how you build a business out of it that then allows you to live that life. And then you do that every day rather than thinking like you got to do something else to get away from it. So I love that perspective. Yeah. Well, I'm speaking from somebody who was originally not in businesses when we first started. I can see, I kind of can see both sides of it because I used to be the person. I was like, I don't understand what you're talking about. So this is not really a topic of conversation that I want to chat about at dinner. But now that I'm in the business, it is very hard to just not talk about the thing that we love or like when we have a great new idea and we want to share it with each other.

So we've kind of integrated our lives and businesses together. So we do talk about business a lot. But we also will move from a business topic to talking about the kids or talking about something else random in the same sentence. So it just kind of fits for us. And I mean, I love that you guys say that unapologetically because I think there is this kind of stigma about like, oh, well, you should separate your business and your life. And, you know, when you're at dinner, you should be talking about life things. It's whatever it works for you. I mean, we all create our own destinies. Yeah. Those are just rules made by people who, A, like making rules and, you know, it's just, it makes, it makes so little sense. Yeah, I say go with your gut what feels right.

Right. Yeah. And having those open conversations. with your partner too and to say, hey, what are some of the things you have expectations of for if we eat dinner together? What are some of the things you would like to do in the evenings? You know, obviously you can kind of take things with an ebb and flow. And if it's like, oh my God, we've been talking business all day and I just want to talk with you, that's okay. Like you don't have to, nothing has to be set in stone, I think. And people get so caught up in those, oh, it's got to be a routine and it's got to be, we have to do it this certain way. So I want to go back to something you said that you guys are so similar.

We're opposites, which what we found out was that that worked out well in business because I'm the big picture person. She's the operations person. With you guys being so similar, do you ever run into issues where, like, you're kind of thinking the same thing you need, an outside perspective? Or how did you figure out roles if you were so similar with some of that? The roles part is on. We used to share doing the same things.

And then we divided roles. And it was basically like Alex is going to do the marketing and be the face of the company create the problem. And then I was going to, in the beginning, I started the operations. Now, I really think it's kind of how you look at it, right? Because many people would be like, okay, so then, you know, we're really similar. You would probably not be good at operations. I don't think I'm good at like actual systems processes operations. No. I've actually had to learn because what I am good at is people. And so I odd and was higher than people who knew how to do it. Like my sister, for example, who is now our COO. And she does all.

that stuff, right? And so I would say I took the strength that we both kind of had, which is like vision. We're both like, he, he, I would say that's his like biggest thing, right? But I could see the vision of the company and the culture on the inside. Like the infrastructure that would need to support the fulfillment of the vision. You guys are familiar with Marcus Limonis and the Prophet. Yes, love him. So something interesting that we just realized recently was, you know, how he talks about people process product, at least at our company, the way that, like, so we had like,

there's me, there's Layla and then Mimi, Mimi's our C-O-O. And so Mimi's also my sister-in-law, who's Layla's older sister. And so it really works like Layla is people, Mimi is process, and Alex's product. And so that's kind of how it's become. And like Layla and I share the title of CEO or co-CEO because I think what we did is we took the role of CEO and kind of just split it. And so we both kind of work half time. or like normal CEOs might work like, you know, more than we do.

I don't think they don't work. I mean, it doesn't feel like, it doesn't. I mean, it doesn't, you know what I mean? Like 10 hours a day is a good amount of work. Yeah. You're sharing it. You're sharing the gym business. When you start at, you know, and we both were in that game, like, you get to the gym at

at 4.30 in the morning, like you get there at 4.30. And then your last client leaves at 9 o'clock. Like, this feels like part-time. I mean, that would. it's over time and this is normal time, but like, you get... Yeah. Yeah. You know, it's a leader of a company is supposed to create the vision and lead to people. And so we joke that, you know, his is like, create the vision of mine's like lead the people.

Right. She is what the internal company, what I am to our external clients. So, like, she really does lead all of the inter, like, all of our whole team, all the departments and whatnot. And I just do the same thing externally. Yeah. I think it's great that you guys have figured out your, your best strengths. The way that you work together, the way that you've decided on roles. I mean, this is just proof that you don't have to follow any model. You make up what works for you,

for your business, and for your life. So thank you guys for sharing all of that with us. Before we wrap things up, I would love to hear if there was anything particular you would like listeners to take away from your story or your experiences here today. I would say, like, the number one thing is that like we put a lot of effort into our relationship in the beginning because we knew that, one, we were like, well, we're not in love because we're not 100% transparent with each other. So we should probably just be 100% honest, even if our words at times. So we did that. And then the second thing is that, like, we worked on a relationship like we worked on the business. Like in the beginning, it required

a lot more work. Now it's kind of on autopilot because it's routine. But we put in the work. We read books, we watched movies. We started putting routine in place that we had never done before. you know, we did all that stuff. And I think that a lot of people just say that it's, you know, it's that person or it's this or that. It's like it's the energy that you have together rather than it is either one of you. I don't know if you want to add anything. Yeah.

It's just a, it's funny because now everything seems really smooth for us now. But like when I think about like even when we met, like as soon as we wake up, I would start working. I would get up before her sometimes and just like go up in my laptop and like that was it. And now it's like we have a whole, you know, choreographed, you know, morning that neither of us really break. It seems second nature now. Like, why would I not do that?

But before and, like, now we cook because that was a mutual interest that we liked doing that. It was, like, fun for us to do together because I don't like doing a lot of things. But, like, you know, we had to, like, find things. But, like, now we know, like, on the weekends, we usually go try and find, like, a weird new recipe or something like that. We'll go to the grocery store, do all the stuff. Like, it's just, like, a fun experience. But, like, it's just actually practicing the,

processes, which has made it easy, but definitely what Layla said, establishing them early on was painful at times, being honest like, hey, I think you're a dick. And me like, okay, where does that come from? Why did I act that way? You know, whatever. And then kind of just bringing it down. Which means you have to be honest with yourself. Like he was like, hey, I think you're really cold sometimes.

And I was like, probably am. Yeah, like thinking it. actually fixing it. And some people can't take criticism because of other issues, but as long as you can take it and just know that both of you have the same role,

which is a good relationship, then I think anyone can go. Yeah, I love that. I love that a lot. I mean, hey, you got to be 100% honest. All right, you guys, it's been another amazing episode with Tom and Ariana,

your hosts and Lifestyle Builders, and we want to extend a huge thank you to you, Alex and Leela, for coming on and sharing your story and just a bit of the behind the scenes with us today. Thanks for having us. Thank you.

And for the listeners, I want you guys to remember, it's your life, your business, your way. We'll see you next time. Bye.