The Game with Alex Hormozi - The Power of Time Horizon: How to Master Your Money (with Lewis Howes) Pt.2 - June ‘22 | Ep 524

Episode Date: April 15, 2023

"Extending the time horizon, I think only happens if you do shift the intention through which you're building it or you're just unbelievably self-disciplined." Today, join Alex (@AlexHormozi) as he guests on Lewis Howes’ Show to discuss the importance of shifting from a scarcity mindset to one of growth and service. He also emphasizes the role of time horizon in achieving success and building wealth as well as shares his unique perspective on marriage, highlighting the importance of shared values, mission, and lifestyle in creating a lasting and fulfilling relationship. This is part 2 of the interview.Welcome to The Game w/Alex Hormozi, hosted by entrepreneur, founder, investor, author, public speaker, and content creator Alex Hormozi. On this podcast you’ll hear how to get more customers, make more profit per customer, how to keep them longer, and the many failures and lessons Alex has learned on his path from $100M to $1B in net worth.Check out the episode on Lewis Howes’ YouTube Channel!Timestamps:(0:26) - Shift intention from scarcity to growth & measuring in time horizon(7:45) - Alex’s admiration for Leila; loyalty and respect in marriage(30:55) - Break down how to sell or enroll in a service(49:59) - Learn from bad experiences, only let them burn you once(55:35) - Three skills to reach your 1st million(1:05:07) - Three lessons or truths to share from lifeFollow Alex Hormozi’s Socials:LinkedIn | Instagram | Facebook | YouTube | Twitter | Acquisition

I would trade everything that I have when I'm 40 to be 32. And so it's just like reminding myself. Enjoy this now. Right. Yeah. Because I would trade everything to be here when I'm 40. Welcome to the game where we talk about how to get more customers, how to make more per customer, and how to keep them longer, and the many failures and lessons we have learned along the way.

I hope you enjoy and subscribe. You mentioned you'd always created something from a lack. Yeah. But now it sounds like there's a different intention for why you're building something. What happens when people ship their intention? Yeah. Scarcity lack mindset to growth, impact, service, whatever it might be that you're coming from. I'm so excited for this question.

So I think the biggest thing that changes is time horizon. Time horizon. What is time horizon? And I think the single greatest differentiator between the poor and the middle class, middle class and rich, rich and the truly wealthy is how they see time. And if you think about money as simply a condensed unit of time, right? That's all money is. Like you trade time for time.

I mean, you can trade time for money. So like it is, they're almost equivalent units. And the people who know how to master their time the most mean that they know how to master their money the most. Right. And so really, if you want to master to the original question of like, how do wealthy people become wealthy is because they master their time. And so time horizon is just like the perspective from which we see what we want to achieve. And so if I am doing, if I'm building a company from the place of like, I believe that this company should exist. I believe this problem is worth solving.

And that is where you start it from. Then you build it differently. Versus. Versus I need to make money. I need to make money this week. I need to make money tomorrow. Because what can I go make money with? Exactly.

And so I think like, I mean, you've built this amazing brand here. If people were able to not ask for 12 months and just serve. Dude, this is what I did when I launched this. Because I literally sold another company. I didn't make that much, but I had enough for like two years to live. I was living pretty frugal. I wasn't like, I never bought anything fancy. It was like, you know, whatever, food and travel maybe, right?

Yeah. But I was still sleeping on couches back then, you know, just because I wanted to save, I want to spend it on hotels. I didn't start spending hotel rooms until about four or five years ago. Oh, right. I would always find a way, who do I know in that talent I can crash on? Anyway, side note. But when I launched School of Gradyness 10 years ago, I remember saying, I'm going to do this for one year because I wish I had access to this.

I wish this was a thing that I could go listen to in the world to teach me. Yeah. And I'm not going to try to make money. Like, I'm going to do it for a year, all in, but I'm not going to try to make money. I don't want to make money. I mean, if the money came, great. But it wasn't my intention. It was just, how can I create the best?

content to serve people on the things that I wish I would have learned in school growing up. Yes. The school of greatness. Yes. And after one year, I was like, man, this thing's really starting to take off, you know, but it wasn't based on how do I make as much money. Totally. It was how do I create something that could really make a lasting change? Yeah. And that intention is what's made me sustainable for 10 years, loving the process. Totally. So when people come from a place, when I'm hearing you say, when they come from a place of that intention of service or because this needs to be in the world. Art. Art exists not to do something. It's. It's not to do something. exists to exist. Right. It's like no one says, why did you paint that? It's like,

because it needed to come out. I needed to express it. Exactly. And so I think that if people chose their businesses that way, I think, and don't be wrong, I'm all about making money. Like, by all means, go get your back. You know what I mean. As much as you care. Yeah, by all means. But I think that what it does is it ends up freeing you to then make your real impact, because then you can start the whatever the next thing. And hopefully your first thing is that thing, but realistically, it probably isn't. And all I have to do is look at every entrepreneur that's really wealthy, the amount of graveyard businesses they have in their back. Right. Right. And So like right now, if you're listening and you're like, I'm not sure if this is the perfect business idea, let me just save you the time.

It's not because look at every other person who has been ultra successful. They have 10 failed business ideas. So just like just start. So you can just start notching off the bad businesses, right? But extending the time horizon, I think only happens if you do shift the intention through it you're building it. Or you're just unbelievably self-disciplined. But I think it's easier to just like start out it with the right heart. Because small tangent, but I think it'll be worth it.

is that the reason that most people aren't successful, in my opinion, is that they sacrifice global benefit for local benefit. And that happens in all areas of life. You eat the piece of cake because you have an acute local benefit versus the global benefit of a six-pack that lasts for a very long time or better health, et cetera, right? You mean the instant gratification as opposed to delayed gratification? Yes, exactly. And I just like saying global, I just like saying local versus global because it happens in an organization, for example, sales guys don't want to put the notes in the thing because it's a pain in the butt to with the notes in the CRM.

But finance needs the notes, customer service needs the boats, success needs the, like all of these other departments need those notes for all the other things that we're gonna do. And so it's a local cost, but for a global benefit. And so I think if people were able to delay that immediate gratification, which is like, this is the nature of success. I think there was, there was this study that was done,

I can't remember it. With the marshmallow test or the other? Okay, God, I could talk about the marshmallow test. Okay, so fun, fun one with that, with the marshmallow test is measuring, measuring how long they delay for the marshmallow. So at what point does it not make sense? If they say you can get one,

because everyone simplifies the experiment, which is like if I give you a marshmallow one now or you can get two later, right? But what if two is in a year? Yeah, you're like, I don't care. I'll take the one now. Right. So then the next question I would have is like,

if you were to test kids and then say at what point the global versus local crosses would be, and then track the kids who had the longest marshmallow waiting period. Because then you could measure how long they're willing to work. They're going to be the most successful probably at life. Yeah. Really interesting. Just total side note.

But the three things that I think were in common of the ultra successful were inflated sense of self, as in they thought that they like they deserve big things. They wanted to go after big things. They believed in themselves, right? Inferiority, never being good enough. And impulse control. Those are the three factors of the most successful. They're like when they did a common factors analysis.

These people think they believe that they can achieve all this amazing stuff. And then it's just, it's an amazing paradox because at the same time they think they're not good enough. and they are insecure about whether they can achieve it. And they have impulse control. And so it's like if you have... Right. And they just, they, and they stay focused on the thing. And what I, like, I'd say the biggest breakthroughs that I've had,

I think that we'll create a lot of the wealth that we will have in the future is, is really a deep understanding of how long, long is. And shooting with the intention of, like, I'm only bringing this up because my YouTube guy said it. He's like, I've never had somebody who actually started that. I was like, we'll see what we do in five years. I was like, we'll measure that. And he was like, no one has literally ever seen.

said that to me. I was like, as long as I see progress, I'm good. Because they're once results in like two months. Yeah. Yeah. Like if we're making, if we're going this way, I'm cool. I don't need to say like, that's good enough for most people. If they could extend the time rise, it's like, I'll give you another hack. You can know how wealthy someone is based on the time horizons they speak. Give me an example. So if someone's talking about how they're trying to make, you know, make money this today. Hey, let me hold 20 for today. You know how, you know how poor they are. I have to say poor. Like, you know how poor. Right. If someone's talking about what they're going to make this week or this month or this quarter or this year for this decade.

Think about how different the people are who are talking in those time horizons. And so I think that if we can shift the time horizon that we think in, then we gain more leverage over our time, which we then know we will compound into money. Because I think if you can master the time, you master the time. That's good. You've been married for how long? Five years. Five years.

Five years. Five years. Or six years or something. Six years of a relationship, five years married. This is something that I've been curious about a different decades of my life, right? I'm 39 now, just turned 39 in March. And in my 20s, I didn't think it was, I was like, how is it possible to be with one human being for the rest of your life, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, there's so much adrenaline and testosterone and just, you know, desire. You know, I was thinking from a place of desire, not from a place of, I don't know, from a spiritual foundation, let's say, right? More of a sexual desire. Mm-hmm. And I would study these different men over the years. and the ones that I really respected were the ones who had amazing long-term relationships

and who had healthy businesses that impacted people in positive ways and had, you know, semi-healthy families in general, right? I'm curious, why did you decide to get married, I guess, at 25, 6? I was 20, she was 23 or 24 and I was 26 or 27. Why decide to get married in your 20s? Yeah. And how has that been beneficial to? towards your inner peace, your health, and your wealth.

Yeah. So I think getting married is a great hack for making money. I have a lot of thoughts on this. First one is because, at least if you're anything like me, probably 80% of my attention went to chasing tail. And so getting all of that attention back automatically just makes you more money. Right.

All your energy is spread out. 100% if you're doing that. It's spread all over the place. And so that was, that's just like, honestly, just getting into a relationship accomplishes that. Going from a relationship to marriage, though, was really surprising to me. Because I would say fairly against marriage for most of everything. And it's by happenstance, Leland, I got married, almost like as a dare.

And then we're still married. And it's been awesome. Total. We'll get it another time. But when we did get married, it was actually really interesting. And maybe this is just my own personal experience. But I felt this very sincere shift of knowing it felt secure. Even the long term, I'm like, why do we need a government body?

why do we need someone, why do we need an external party to validate our relationships? Sign a document from the government, yeah. But there is some level of commitment that comes with it that makes it more stable. And knowing that it was like, oh, she's in it with me. Just knowing the barrier to exit was significantly higher for both of us, I think increased our commitment to the relationship. But it gave me so much more stability for risk taking in a lot of ways, knowing that she was there and knowing she had my back.

And, you know, I was texting a buddy of mine who was living the fast life. Yes. Girls every other night. Yeah, yeah. And it was like, how do you, you know, how do you think through this? And I thought about it. And I think that when you get into the committed relationship or marriage, you trade novelty for loyalty. And for me, that, to me, loyalty, I was trying to define this for myself.

But like, for me, loyalty matters more than love or is a form of love or the one that I value the most. And then as a secondary, because I was trying to define, like, what, like, whenever someone says, like, what is love, right? Like, if you actually, like, start trying to peel the word back, most people would just describe activities that people who are in love do. Well, what means? And then they use a laundry list of activities. And so the best definition I have, I know this is, this is me out there, is of how much, like, measuring love is how much are you willing to endure to keep it? And so if you have a relationship with someone, and like, and I would say love and liking to me is the same thing because it's really difficult to differentiate between

the two. If you have a relationship with someone and you're not really willing to like, let's say, wait 30 minutes later to go to dinner with them, probably have very little liking in there, right? If you have kids, you're probably willing to do a lot for them. And so, like, I'll give you an example that a friend of mine said, he's like, man, he must love, he's, like, if you have a car that you've been working on all the time, like a lot of guys, like, tinker with them. Must love that car, right? That thing's a piece of crap. He must love that thing. It barely runs because of what he's willing to put up with. And so it's kind of interesting when you think, like, you can measure love by your willingness

to sacrifice or endure in order to keep it. Do you think we should endure a toxic relationship, though, or something that's not adding value equally or putting forth a level of effort? To be fair, the toxic relationship, I'll use the quotes here because defining toxic would be another call. Right. I think that there are moments in relationships that are negative. but if you loved someone a lot, because you had a lot of benefit,

so going the other direction, right? But if it's more toxic than it is. Then you wouldn't put up with it. Right. So then is it worth putting up with anyone having a negative experience? It depends on what you have to gain, right? And the more you love someone, the longer you're willing to wait for another positive reinforcement.

So if I meet somebody and I have a negative experience immediately, I'm probably done. Right. Right. If I meet someone and I have positive the next day, positive two days later, positive a week later, the next one I might be willing to wait two weeks and then four weeks. And this really just becomes a question of human conditioning rather than love. Not to get like, I love the stuff.

But anyway, I can get us back to marriage. But marrying Layla gave me a lot of the security that I needed to take the big risks and knowing that she had my back. And Layla and I have very uncommon views on marriage. What's the, I guess, unique views on marriage you guys have? So most people get married because they feel a chemical attraction. Yes. and then they just wait, right, until eventually it's been long enough.

And it goes away. Yeah. And then they're like, I guess we should get married, right? We had the first date, we talked for four hours about business, all business. And at the end of the day, I said, you should quit your job and work for me. I was like, even if... Was this a date or was this a date? Okay, it wasn't just like a casual encounter.

No, it was 100% Tinder and date. It was Bumble, but it was a date. Bumble, date. Yeah. All business, all night, the whole thing. We walked for four hours and just talking about business. And the variant said, you've got to quit your job and work for me. She said, no, I just made.

Not to clear your job and date me, but I could your job work for me. And I said, listen, even if I don't come with the deal, like, this needs to make sense for you. Like, this is how much I'd pay you? I was just like, this is how much I'd make? Like, you should totally work for me. And she said, no, but I kept working on her and eventually three weeks later, she quit her job and she joined me. And we hung out every day after that one. And we did not have a super chemically romantic.

None at all. We just like doing the same stuff. And we both wanted the same outcome. And so, at least as I see it, it's like, you have to have an aligned mission of what your own compulsion life. Values of how you want to get there. Man. And then, ideally, there's like bonus, bonus points for similar interests. Dude, it's so funny you say that because I say that, you know, from all the mistakes I've made in the previous relationships that are all my mistake.

It all comes to values, vision, and lifestyle. And having shared alignment, it doesn't have to be 100%. But it's like an alignment and values, vision, and lifestyle. Yeah. Not in, you know, if you have the sexual chemistry, which we do, which is great, but not using that as the main value, the sexual chemicals. Yeah. Because in two, five, ten years, they may not be there. But if you don't have the values, the vision and lifestyle, what you call values.

Mission, mission. Because it's all business. Exactly. Mission is what we're trying to accomplish. Values is how we're going to get there. And then interests is like, what do we want to spend a time to do. Exactly. Yeah.

That's so funny. Yeah. So that's what I think. And if you have those things, you create a relationship. in my opinion, at least this has been my human experience, it becomes very difficult to get out of. And I say that intentionally in that, like, the best way to stay married is to figure out how to stay married.

And so, like, well, let's stack all the chips in our favors. Like, we like doing the same stuff. We like talking about the same things. And then I think in a very important way, if those three things are aligned, you will get exposed to the same stimuli. And if you get exposed to the same stimuli, you'll have the same adaptations, provided you have the same values.

So if we get this exposed, and we both at the same values will both grow in the same way, where I think what happens for many people is their opposite sides and they attract, right? And what happens is you get on this, you probably are Esther Perel. I just had her on a week ago. Yeah, then I'll just, I'll just stop. I'll just stop. Yeah, yeah. Well, so now I feel silly. Quote her. My understanding of meeting activity is you've got familiarity, right? And you've got, I say variety and then familiarity because this is how I do. And so in the beginning, everything's so new and exciting, there's all this variety, right?

And then you get to know each other. And it gets better and better because you're like, oh my God, this is amazing, this amazing, it's amazing. But then all of a sudden you keep going and then your siblings and your roommates, right? And so it's not like she says, you know, a problem to be solved, but a dichotomy to be managed between familiarity and variety.

And one of the interesting things with our relationship is that we have so many ways to be familiar. So for us, based on that, like... So you need to create more variety. Yes. How do you guys do that? Because you talk about all the same, things, you do the same thing all day long, how do you create variety?

That's a great question. Besides the multiple business boards, you're not doing the multiple people. Oh, no, we're not very right. No, no, I think Leo would stab. No, but I think the variety piece comes in through deliberate creation of room to be missed. Space and time. If you think about somebody. I'm going to go away for a week.

Yes. And you're going to go with your friends or family and I'm not going to be there. You know how much you like someone more when you see them after night? not seeing them for a week. So good. Isn't that weird? The best feeling. Right? Isn't that weird? Yeah. So it's like we can create that deliberately. The missing, the longing. Exactly. And so it's like if we can like physically separate ourselves in terms of when we work, so we work on separate sides of the house, we only come together for food. So we eat and then we go back. And ideally we're not on any of the same

meetings because the last thing I want to do at the end of the day, sit down and say like, how's your day? Just kidding. I was there the whole time. Right. Right. Yeah. So it's ideally. So you work together, but you don't. Yes. You work in the same. But you're not on calls on that along together hand at hand. Right. And we can accomplish. And so that way when we talk, it's like two business colleagues that are both after the same thing, they both believe in getting there the same way, and we're talking about our unique things that are interesting for me that she might want my perspective on. And I'm like, hey, I'm thinking about this hook or this message or what do you think about this?

And we can bounce on it, but because we didn't share every moment of the day, it gives us that ability to have variety. But I think Esther said this. But the couples that have that have, that do start businesses together, they've been misquoting two research things. Anyways, couples that start businesses together have a 10% divorce rate. If you start and make a dollar in a business together. And I think it's like birthing a child.

Except in order to do a business, I think it's harder than having kids and people are like, you don't know that because you don't have kids, it's true, but I do know that there's a lot of people who have both, there's more people who have kids than have businesses who started together. Right.

And I think that there's some magic in that because it's like birthing an idea, but you both got to agree on what you're going to create. So you're not leaving up to biology or leaving up the choice. Do you guys ever fight or argue? Sure. Like I would say we don't have what I would consider like real fights. Low observer, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, minor arguments, but. I'm sure that like the many common miscommunications that can happen as humans.

Sure, sure. Hey, you said this? That? Is this what you meant to say? Yeah, yeah, exactly. No, no. I was like, if there's two ways to take it? in one way makes you really angry, the other one doesn't?

I meant the other way. Whatever you're angry about, I think it was out. Round out. Just round out. That was like, just round up for me. What's the thing you love about her the most? She's made a steal. She's, um,

like, is just unbreakable. So like, I'll tell you the two moments in, in our marriage that like, or we weren't married yet, but the two moments that, like, defined her to me.

So one was in, we were probably nine months into dating. Maybe, no, maybe like six months into, we're six months into dating. And I had lost everything again. standard, standard Alex move, right? Just lose everything. And she had to go launch a gym, and she had to absolutely crush it. And I was so stressed out because at this moment in time,

I had the six gyms. I had a chiropractor agency, a dentist agency, and I had the launch business where we're actually like flying out and doing launches. I think I had one more thing. I can't remember what it was. But those are, so I had eight different businesses that I was owning. I made no money, obviously, because I had eight businesses, right? And I was just, I was too stressed a function. That was like, only way I could describe it. It's like I was not present at all ever. I was just thin. I just, I was so spread thin. She walked in the office one day. I didn't look up and she was like, do you want me to be here? And I was like, you can do whatever you want. And she was like, well, are you, do you want to break up?

And I was like, yeah, that's fine. Really? And so she said, okay, that's fine. You know, and she'd quit her job to do this with me. So it had been in five months. Like, you know, she'd quit everything. She'd built up a personal training business that was done really well. And she got rid of all our clients so she could come do these launches. Wow. Five months in, I was like, you know, I can't, whatever. And so she went to Hawaii to do this launch, which was going to be a really big launch. And I was betting big on this thing because.

So she was still working with you, but not in a relationship with you. Yeah. So we've actually, like work is the thing that is our first language. It came naturally to us. And so she went there and I had, I think, I lost all the money for the seventh reason in a row, right? And I had like 10 grand left. And we needed to make like $100,000 in that month.

or I was going to get behind. So it was 10 grand to get her there for 30 days in Hawaii because hotels are insane. And I was like, you need to crush this. Even though we just broke off. Oh my gosh. You need to crush this. Like, you need to crush this. That's like all I can say.

And she flew there and she set every sales record that we had when she got there and did $170,000 in cash collected and she killed it. And when she came back, I had a coach that I was like meeting with during the time she was going. And he was like, look at the stats of your life. He's like, are you a better shape now that she's here? He's like, are you making more money now that she's here? Are you like, and to be fair, like, in general, I was still doing better because I had started the launch business.

Like I was, you know, I was like, yeah. He was like, I think she's a very good thing in your life. I was like, okay. And so anyway, she came back and you crushed it when virtually every other person that I know would have either not gone. Like, for you, I'm out of this. Or just wilted under the pressure. Because I put a lot, I was like, you need. I was like, this is the last money I have.

like you have to crush this. And I don't care about you intimately anymore. Right. Yeah. And I know, yeah. And so she killed it. And then she came back and then two or three months later, of course I lost all that money again. Um, class.

And then, and so then at this point now we're sleeping at her parents' house. And you're not in a relationship. No, we got back together. Okay. So when she came back to you. Yeah, that was like, I was like, you're awesome. Like, used to tall when everything else was crumbling. Like, let's keep doing this.

Yeah. And so this leads me probably to probably the core. point of Layla is that, and I don't know if it's all relationships, but at least the way this one is compared to every other relationship I've had, is that I respected her first. And I don't think I had, God, that's so key. Like, I don't, and I say this not as any, I've loved a lot of people in the past, but I don't think I respected them to the same degree. And I think part of that is because it was harder for me to respect them because I didn't have a shared arena to witness it in. It would be like, maybe for me, I might not have made able to respect an athlete. Maybe, maybe.

Maybe because it's just not a game I understand as well as like a business game. Sure. I'm maybe just saying that I can appreciate excellence, who knows. But I respected her and her opinion mattered to me. A lot of times I would feel like someone's opinion like, yeah, it matters, but like, I'm going to do what I'm going to do. My opinion matters more. Her opinion I valued equally or even higher than mine in many occasions because I trust her

gut. She's an amazing instinct with people especially. And so I respected her first and the second time that happened was I'm sleeping in her parents' house, winter than I am. It's 24, 25, 26? No, I'm 27. Yeah, 26 or 27. I'm sleeping in her brown.

She's 23, 24. And they gave me, like, the spare kids' bedroom. So I'm like, in this little desk, you know what I mean? Like, with the little chair, like, crept up. And I'm like, this is, like, make believe, except it's a real business. And we had this horrible day where we lost, like, $150,000. And it was, and I just saved, like, everything was turning around. Everything was turning around for us.

We lived there just to like kind of save some money. Yeah, yeah. But the first month of getting rid of all those businesses that I had and just working just on gym launch, we did 100,000, we did $200,000, 300,000. So like, things were turning around. And I was like, okay, this is happening. And then we got $150,000 refunds, which was pretty much all the profit I had made. And it was because a couple of the gyms that we had launched basically told all the customers to refund and then signed back up through them for half the price. Oh, my gosh.

So it's like, I go to a gym. That's frustrating. We just pay for everything, the hotels, the flights, the marketing, the sales guy. And let's say we saw 100 people at 500 bucks, we make $50,000, right? Just for example, they would say, hey, 100 people, now that they're gone. That's annoying. That's messed up. It was a flawed model.

You know what I mean? And I could lament it, but I was not operating within the context of, like, human incentive. There was a huge incentive to not be ethical. Right. And so we lost $150,000, which was all my savings again. And at that moment, I had already lost everything like three times since I'd been with it. It had been like 11 months at this point. I think at that point 10 months, because we got married in May, it was 13 months since we had met.

And so I just looked at her and I'm like in her parents, you know, room or whatever. And I said, listen, I'm a synching chip. And if you want to get out, I was like, I will have absolute respect for you. We will be, like, we're cool. Like, I will hold nothing against you because I like, I clearly am not good at this. And that's where she was like, I would sleep with you under a bridge if it came to that. And so that was when. That was before you're married?

Yeah, it was before we were married. And so that was when, and like, you know, I think the dedication in that book says, or actually, well, I might be spoiling it, but I think the next book says, you saw the light in me. It's a, it's a strong. My writer died, couldn't do this without you, yeah. That's great. It's a very meaningful thing, but I, but I don't know if I would have done it without her.

You know what I mean? And so anyways, all that to say, she stood tall when everything else was crumbling around me. And for that, she has my eternal respect. Wow. And so as a result of that, that security, knowing that she, like, even when she didn't have to, she was there and she chose to be there alongside me because she believed that we could do this. Even when I ran out of belief. I think for that, that's, and to be fair, that was the first 11 months of our relationship.

And so, like, since we got married, it's been super easy. Really easy. It has been. Literally nothing was harder than the first year of our relationship. I mean, sorry. No, that's great. I'm assuming you want to call yourself a marriage expert by any means, but you've been married five years. You've also know, you know, you have a lot of respect for older men who've been married for a long time. You've, I'm sure, interviewed them and have mentors in that space. What do you think makes a strong marriage last more? Respect or love? I mean, you know where I'm going to this one. Respect, because I think that respect is based in logic, love less so. And so I'll say it differently. I think that love has a strong emotional component.

Some days, like, some days you feel like you love someone more than other days, right? But respect doesn't change as much. Consistent. Because it's based on facts. It's based on evidence. It's based on I, the story I just told you will not change. That happened, right? And so when emotions fade, logic remains, which is why I'm a big fan of logical selling,

which is when someone is trying to make a decision, I do want to give them the logical reasons for why they should do that. Because when the emotions do fade, which they inevitably do about the decision that they made, what will remain is the logic. And the logic will carry you through the dips. But if you don't have a logical reason to be together, then when the emotions fade, that's when you have no reason to be together. Because the emotions are on and there's no logic. Right. And so I think that for the long-term relationship, that's why the mission, the values, and the interests, there's a lot of logical reasons for us to stay together. We have a million logical reasons together.

We're partners in the business. We love the same lifestyle. We're both into fit in it like the hand. And so we have all these huge stack of reasons for why we should stay together. And I think that if we can stack the reasons and as a funny side note with the length of marriage, the average, the average married person spends two hours a day together. 45 of that is watching television. Average marriage.

24 minutes of that is housework. And then 35 minutes. Oh, sorry. 35 minutes is eating. And so 45 plus 25 plus 4. So there's like 20 minutes that's not that of the two hours. That is just being with someone. And so we have spent every hour of every day together for six years.

And so I feel like in that way, we've had a 50-year marriage. Right. From a time perspective. But anyways, just. And where do you think you'd be without her or a marriage like hers that has supported you and throughout? Do you think it'd be as financially successful? Do you think it'd be, you'd have more time to build your businesses, or you'd feel like you'd have scattered energy with lifestyle choices?

I don't know. I don't know if I would have learned the lessons that she's taught me. Like, if I had, so if I had a similar marriage to the one that I have, I think it would be the same. If I didn't have a similar marriage to this one, I think I would have figured out, the money thing was too important to me for me not to figure it up. I think it was just too important to me.

Because you had the discipline. Yeah. And the fitness thing, that was always on lock. And so like the missing piece, I still probably would have had that longing to figure out. Because I do, because to your point, like all the people that I respect have been in 20 or 30 or 40 year, 50 year marriages. And I think there's something about character. It speaks to someone's character when they've done something like that. And I think that was something that I wanted to have.

Yeah. What do you think? You're 32 now? Yeah. What do you think when you had, 40, the three biggest lessons will be that you will have learned or that you, if you could go into the future, because you're really good at thinking, 85 years self, and your 40 yourself was looking at you right now or in a room with you talking to you. And they said, here are the three things

you really going to need to learn. Yeah. And try not to make these mistakes. What would those three lessons be if you think if you could go in the future? Well, the first one that jumped out of me was patience works. So that would be the first, I think I would have continuous reinforcement on the fact that the longer I wait for things, the better they are. The second one would be define your terms. Socrates says, wisdom begins with a definition of terms. And so a lot of people make these goals, but they don't know what the goal means. And so they're like, I want to be healthy.

Like, what does that mean? I want to be happy. What does that mean? Like, we have to define our terms before we start trying to attack them and breaking them down, which is why, like, if you've ever heard any of my stuff, I tend to define terms a lot. So I think a definition of terms is, is, have to define your terms. And then third one of lessons that I think would probably still be, because whenever I talk to my 85 roads off in my therapy sessions with myself, it's always just remembering to small flowers more

because if I'm 20 years old and, or 30 years old and I would trade all the millions I have to be 20 again, then that is the lesson. So I would trade everything that I have when I'm 40 to be 32. And so it's just like reminding myself of that. Enjoy this now at this moment, yeah. Because I would trade everything. to be here when I'm 40. Right. So like if I can just if I can just even get a 10th of that

awareness in the present moment, if I can bring 10% of that future awareness to the present moment, that would be a success for me. Can you break down really how to sell someone or how to enroll someone in your product or service who has a reason why they don't want to sign up? Yes. So the the baseline assumption is this person wants what you have and so that's why like in the beginning of every sale, you're always asking what problem we solve. Right? Like, why are you here? What do you want? And sometimes you have to like ask that question a lot of different ways to get someone to answer it. Because like if someone says, well, I just want to find out more, it's like they're not actually here to find out more. They're going because they want to solve a problem.

So some just saying, well, what problem are you solve it? It's an easier way to get to the core of the matter. And so once they admit they have a problem, then we can. So I'll give you the back of, I'll give you the back of napkin before I give you the, that we're talking about earlier. So, hey guys, real quick, if you're new to the podcast, I have a book on Amazon. Amazon, it's called $100 million offers at over 8,000 five-star reviews. It has almost a perfect score. You can get it for 99 cents on Kindle. The reason I bring it up is that I put over 1,000 hours into writing that book.

And it's my biggest gift to our community. So it's my very shameless way of trying to get you to like me more. And ultimately make more dollars so that later on in your business career, I can potentially partner with you. So that's my give. Go check it out. Amazon and back to the show. The back of napkin sales scripting process that I have is called Closer.

So it's an acronym, it's easier remember. So the first thing to see is clarify why they're there. Right? Why are you here, right? What brought you in today? Why did you respond to the ad? Why did you take time to take this call? Whatever it is, right?

Clarify whether they're there. And you keep asking so you get the right answer. If it's just information, it's like you're not hopping on 20 calls of the day, taking information, right? No, of course not. Okay, what we saw? Cool, got that. Then L is label them with a problem, right?

So that's where you're really repeating back to them. So let me just get this straight. So you're here because you're trying to lose weight and you are struggling to do so at at current. Is that correct? Awesome. Okay, great. That I think you're gonna like what we have. So tell me, so then we go to O.

So C-L-O, Closer. O is overview their past experiences or past pains. So it's like, well, tell me what you've done so far to try to accomplish this. I'm assuming that's not the first person you've talked to. And I'm assuming this isn't the first moment you realized you wanted to lose weight or you wanted to X, Y, Z, right?

And so then we go through what I call the pain cycle, which is like, okay, what did you do? Try this. And how did that work for you? What was good about it? What was bad about it? Great, what else have you done? And you go back through.

And each time, it's like, And each time you affirm the person, you're like, that must have been hard. Appreciate you sharing that. Just affirming and giving them positive reinforcement throughout the conversation. And that's just building rapport one-on-one, right? I understand how you feel I felt the same way. My sister was like that too. I totally get where you're coming from.

I know how that's difficult, blah, blah, right? Oh. S is then we sell the vacation. So now that we've exhausted all the pain, they're in the thick of the pain of remembering all the times they fail and you're like, you know what? Given everything you just said, I think you're going to be perfect for what we have. Can I tell you about it? So then you get permission to sell, right? And then when you sell, I like to have three main points that I hit.

And I think it's because people remember threes very well. I know you've seen Russell's stuff with webinar. Like, threes are remembered well. Same thing with values in a company. I think three people remember. It's easy to triangulate ideas, right? And so when we sell the points, a big part of this is not actually explaining the features. This is obvious.

But I like giving short anecdotes that are easy to remember. So if I would say a word, like we offer accountability. for whatever program you sell, right? And that doesn't mean anything to anyone. So I want to give a quick story or anecdote to explain the concept. It's like, all right, well, we have three types of accountability. We've got peer-to-beer accountability,

which is people are going to be walking with you shoulder to shoulder. You're going to have alumni accountability, which people have already finished, but they're just 12 weeks or 12 months ahead of you and they're cheering you on from the finish line. And then you have expert accountability. You have people who've helped 1,000 people

just like you get to where you want to go. So those are the three levels of accountability. If that doesn't make any sense, do you have a kid or were you ever a child? That always gets a laugh. They're like, ha-ha, ha, ha, I was a kid. You're like, well, do you remember when your parents just tell you to brush your teeth? I want to brush my teeth, right? Like, of course, but then every night you'd still go brush your teeth, even though you moaned about it.

Do you brush your teeth now? You're like, yeah. Well, that's an example of external accountability turning into internal habit. And so what we're going to do is we're going to be the initial parent that to tell you brush your teeth, but we're going to be able to transition to getting that internal combustion engine going by the end of this so that you're brushing your own team. Right. You can use the same thing with the seatbelt.

There's a million examples you can use. Sure. And so that would be a quick, whatever that was, 92nd anecdote to explain point one. And you same thing for point two, point three that you have, of like it's kind of like, and then you explain a little epiphany bridge or the story of how you realize it's important.

And then they would say, like, does that make sense? Yes. Boom, you move to the second point. Make sense? Yes, move to the third point. And then it's, then you go for the close. Like, well, give an X, Y, and Z.

I will tell you, this is extremely expensive. And the reason we say that is because it's even better than a price anchor. Because extremely expensive for everyone is expensive. If I said, hey, Lewis, it's $500, just kidding, it's $100, you might have thought $500 and $100 or both cheap, right? But if I said it's really expensive, whatever I say next is going to either be actually expensive for you, in which case I braced you, which is actually more likely to close to sale, or it will be less than what you perceive as expensive.

like, oh, great. Because the problem that most people try and do when they sell is they try and minimize the thing they say next, but it actually has a counteractive effect. You say, it's actually not that much. It's only, right? But when you say that, when you say only, that all of a sudden people expect low and then you rip their expectations. And so it's much better to set expectations here, but people are afraid of doing that. That's not how psychology works. So you set expectations sky high, you anchor. And then when you say reality, it either matches the braced person or it's much lower, which most cases. it is. And interest I hate. It's really expensive. Does that work for

webinars sales to mass or is that only better with one-to-one sales calls? Having tested it on webinars. Interesting. But one-to-one, yeah, let me know. I'm curious if that also converts. Well, I do know that from the infomercial world, you price anchor high. So it would make sense to me that, I would imagine it would still work the same way. It's like, guys, it's super expensive for guys. It's not $5,000. Right. And then when we do end up saying, hey, it's expensive. We want to make sure that we're selling to goal. And the, The point there is that some people sell a program, but people don't buy programs or buy results. And so the idea is we want to as closely as possible sell the outcome that someone desires.

And it sounds obvious, but people don't do it. You know what I mean? Like a lot of these, like, well, duh, but no one doesn't, right? And so, like, in the weight loss example, I realized that people didn't want to buy memberships. No one's like, I want to buy a membership. Of course not. They want to lose weight. And so what we did was we shifted our selling style in the gyms and the fitness programs

to how many pounds they needed to lose. So we'd say, okay, cool, you need to lose 36 pounds based on our number. calculations, it's going to take 36 weeks for us to get there, and it'll take another 50% of that time to basically restabilize you, get your metabolism back up, and now you're eating the same amount at a lower weight. That sounds cool? Great. And so now it's going to be a 52-week program. It's, I will tell you, it's very expensive, but it's normally, you know, whatever, $500 a week, but instead it's only $150 a week. Interesting. Fair enough. And then when we get into the closing questions, I always prefer neutral or negative questions, because if I said sounds amazing,

a lot of people would be like, what does sound amazing. But if I said, fair enough, then it's much easier to get someone to say, well, yeah, it's fair. So it's like, how low can I make the thing that they're agreeing to? And then the negative version of that, which Chris Boss talks about in the negotiation book is no base questions. Right, right. Or it's like, that's not so bad, is it? Or it's not. You wouldn't be opposed to moving forward.

Would it be totally crazy if we moved forward today? Would it be totally crazy if we started you on Monday? Like, all those, well, it's not crazy. Okay, cool, let's do it. And so, and then at that point, let's say, Lucy, says no, right, to whatever the thing we're selling. Now we begin the E of closer, which is explaining away their concerns. So C, clarify, L, label, O, overview their past experiences, S, sell, which is the three anecdotes that you're going to tell, and then you present the price.

And then at that point, hopefully they say yes. But in the world of sales, no is the job. No is the job. They say yes, then you wouldn't be necessary, right? And so no, like, selling is everything that you do before you present price. Closing is what you do after. Mm. And obstacles are what come up before you present price. That's when you disagree with the prospect. Objections are what happened after you present price,

when they disagree with you. Right. Well, I don't have the money, I don't have the time, I don't have, let me check with my spouse, et cetera. And so obstacles, you wanna resolve as many of those as you can before, because they become bigger, scarier, monsters of objections after. you present the price, right?

And so, like that example I gave earlier with the information, when someone says, well, I just want to find out a little bit more information, that's an obstacle. Like, someone's presenting the first five seconds, they're already telling you an obstacle, like you have to confront it. And so a lot of people are like, well, you know, I think it's my metabolism slow, right?

You're like, is it though? Because like, you know, there's a lot of people in Africa and none of them have suffering body fat. Right, right. Because they're actually starving. Right. But so you would think that they have true starvation mode, but they look like they're starving.

Sure. it is. You know, like, and then you can get into it. Most people would really offend about that, but you get, it's an extreme example. So once we get to that point, they say no, or I have to think about it. So there's three circles, and this took me actually a really long time to think through because I've gone through a zillion different, you know, books and things on sales. Ironically, after I already knew how to sell, not before, which is just kind of funny. But different people had different, like, Grant had, I think, decision maker, stall money. Those are the things, like, those are the three that you always have to overcome, which is like,

I need to think about it. I need to talk to my spouse. or it's money, right? Those are his three. Barry from Sage, she has five. She has time, money, time, money, spouse, fear, shame. Interesting. I was like, that's cool. Noted. And then Belford has his, the three tens, and there's a number of different ones. And I was like, there has to be, and they may all disagree with me on this, so who knows, but there has to be a unifying truth here, right? Because everybody has their own buckets and there's obviously some elements of each of these. And so I pulled back from Albert Ellis. who is one of the fathers of CBT, Cognomy Bay Rural Therapy.

He said, and originally he had like 17, and he had 11, and he had nine, and he had seven, and they had three reasons that people upset themselves. He just kept boiling it down. And the three that he came up with are that people blame their circumstances. They blame other people for their unhappiness, and then they blame themselves. And so when we are confronted with an objection, underneath the pretense that the person has already admitted that they want the thing that you have, and the thing you have would solve their problem. So that has to be there. If we have that, then we have to walk through three

concentric rings of power. And so the first thing that people do is they blame their circumstance. So they're casting their power to something else. They're saying it's because of time. Or the money. Or the money. Right? And then, you know, with the money, if you were selling a B to B thing, I would say, well, what's the difference between a self-made billionaire that starts at zero and you? It's not resources. It's resourcefulness. Right? Then you can tell a story if you want to reinforce the point. But the end of the day, like if you were resourceful, you can make it. The question is if you were to die tomorrow and you needed to come up with the amount of money for this thing, how would you do it out? You figured out. Exactly. So what we need to do is figure out

how to tap into those resources, right? So the bubble you go into that thing. Right. So each of these has your insecurities, your fears, your what people saying no, judging you and you're just taking action and yes, risking. And so underneath the circumstances, I have three big buckets, which you've got time, you've got money, and you've got what I call fit, which is actually an association with identity. So usually it might be like, well, I want to lose, I use weight loss because everybody understands it. I want to lose, I don't, I want to lose weight, but I don't want to eat broccoli. Your pride has broccoli on it. Like, you know what? I don't like cardio, though. And so that is, that's where you just go through like, you got to change to change. Right. And there's a whole

script around that. Yeah. It's like, you can't, you cannot change any of the variables. Because at the end of the day, like, you know, I used to have weight loss clients who would say, like, well, can we make this the breakfast? Because this is what I already eat. I'm like, well, that breakfast got you, that body. So we got to change something, right? Right. Right. And so we walk through it. Maybe you're, maybe you're not heavy enough. Maybe this isn't enough pain for you. Right. And then they're like, well, let you put on 50 more pounds. Right. And then you'll finally make things. Exactly. Yeah. And all of a sudden they're like, no, no, no. I'm like, all right, well, then maybe today is the day. Yeah. Right. So time money. Um, and each of those has three.

So like time is three, which I go macro, micro, when then? Uh, yeah. And then, you know, money. I could go through. When then. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'd go through too many of them. Sure, sure. But that's circumstances. Uh-huh. Right. The next level, and this is peeling back an onion. So if you're a salesperson or you're selling someone and they blame money or they blame time or they blame the fit of your specific program, understand that you're actually talking to someone two steps away from being in power. From making the decision. Yes. And so if we believe ourselves as salespeople to be coaches first, because that's what we're really in serving the customer, the goal of the sale is not to get the person to buy. And this is a huge thing for most salespeople,

everyone has to understand. The goal is not to get the person to buy. The goal is to get them to decide. If you get someone to decide, then you have already given them power. And this is a huge thing. more power than they've ever had in a very long time, probably. And I guarantee you that you will make more money and you will also disassociate success in selling from purchases. You will also get more purchases. But if you do it this way,

then you won't have an ego that's invested in being right because it's not about you, it's about them, right? We get them to admit that it's never been about having enough time because it's about priorities. We all have the same 24 hours. And you know what? If you're really busy now, do you think you're ever going to be busy in the future? Well, yes, I do.

Well, do you want it to be permanent? Well, if you're going to be busy in the future when you're busy today, then you might as well start now when you get the most support because these are already busy. Right. And if you learn how to do it when you're busy, you'll know how to do it again when you're busy in the future. That way you'll stick with it.

Makes sense? Great. Time's over done. Right. And so each of it, that's one of the three for time, right? Sure. You've drilled a lot of these. And so the next one is other people.

With other people, a lot of times it's spouse often, right? And so, you know, I kind of walk through a process, which is, you know, are they aware of the fact that you're struggling with this? Yes. Do they approve of the struggle? Well, they don't, I mean, they're like, well, I mean, no, they're not improving of the struggle. So, well, then why would they be against them that they already don't approve of? Right.

Well, and if the rules were reversed, would you be support and support of them? And usually they'll say yes to that most of the times. Like, well, then why would they be against? And if there's anything like my wife, I would do everything I possibly could to support her. And I think she would do the same. Is that the same that you have there with your relationship? Yes or no. Cool.

Finally, I'll walk through. It's like, honestly, just listen to you, you know, Tom. I think you're asking for permission when you should be asking for support. And the reality is, let's play this out. Right? Let's play this out. Let's say that you don't do this problem, whatever it is, right?

Let's play it out. And 12 months from now, you're more negative situation currently, more overweight, more poor, whatever. And if you keep doing that, who are you going to blame for your circuit? Is it going to be you? It's going to be her.

It's going to be her. So is that fair to her? Is that fair to your marriage? No. So I think what we need to be, looking for is support not permission. And so what we're going to do, then we, then we, to come up and we're like, so we're going to do is we're going to take control, we're going to take the power. You have to make decision for you and then she will support you. And what you have

to do is when you show up with her, you're like, listen, I've wanted to be an entrepreneur on my life. Who knew that there wasn't an entrepreneur school and you go through the, you know, like just like doctors go to school, but no one did for me. And instead of being $100,000, it's only $10,000. Other people and I'm not going to moan about how I'm not making money because I'm actually supported with other people. And I'm committing to be more present here, to be a better wife or be a better husband, be better spouse to her,

to be better mother to our kids. And you give them the script to tell the other person. And at the very end, you say, at the end of the day, sometimes, like I said, we have our three-day no-sweat guarantee. So for some reason, you go home, and your husband says, listen, sweetie, I don't want you to be healthy.

I want you to keep the extra weight on. I want you to live 10 years shorter. I want you to pull up those sweatpants and reach your bag into those Cheetos and get them all orange and fingery and spread it over there and teach our kids not generational health. Oh, and have, you know, early diabetes. If your husband says that to me, by all means,

we're gonna refund. Yeah, right? Yeah, yeah. And usually at this point they're cracking up. You know what I mean? And that's why report matters a lot with selling on the upfront, which the whole goal is there is to find some similar ground because if you're in Paris and you find out somebody else is from the same city as you,

you think they're amazing. If you're in the same city, you don't care that at all. They're from both. Right, right. So it's just like, how can you find some similarities? Because people really are persuaded more by people that they find similarities with. Wow. So the idea is how can you find those? But anyways, all that to say, when you are selling, first people will confront you with time, money, or fit. And you have to be

prepared to know that you might have two more layers you have to go through. So you might have to peel back that first layer and then they hit you with the spouse, which is do they approve, if the rules are reversed? And then you're asking for support and out permission, right? And then you go a three-day no-sweggarantee. Right. And then the last level here is self, right? And what people do here is they avoid. So what we're trying to conquer as avoidance. So now, and here's the good news is that when someone says, I need to think about it and I'm not sure.

We're talking to the decision maker. That's amazing. You're the decision maker, yes. Yeah, this is amazing. This is great news for salespeople because they should be like, oh my God, they're not giving me a money, they're not giving me time, they're not giving me a spouse. They're just saying they don't need to, they need to think about it.

Well, what's your main concern, right? Tell me what you're thinking about. What are the variables that you're going to use to make the decision? Let's walk out together. Because at the end of the day, you don't need time to make decisions you need information. I'm the only source of information you got. So what are your questions about? Right?

And you keep going. And then from here, all we're trying to do is understanding the variables that they use to make the decision. And if they don't know them, which they usually don't, we say, do you know what it takes to make the decision about this? And then you actually physically walk them through confronting the decision. If they're not sure about it, you're like, listen, I use this all the time. It's called the rocking chair close. It's like, let's be real.

You're not going to go and actually sit on your rocking chair. on the balcony, be like, hmm, am I going to do this program? Of course not, right? You're going to get in your car and your mom's going to call you. You've got a kid and you got the laundry and you got dinner and you got all these other things you've got to do. And then five days from now, you're going to have some moment where either put your pants on or you check your bank account,

whatever the thing is that we're selling. And you'd be like, shoot, I really should have done that thing. And in that moment, you will have made the decision. So we might as well do it today. And you have all the information, you've got all the momentum because you're six inches from gold, right? And you don't want to be the guy who, because like, let's think about what you've already done.

I know you want to do it because you're already here, right? You saw the ad, you put in your number, you set a time, you scheduled it, you drove in your car if he was here, or you showed up on Zoom, even when you're in the middle of a work week, you did all this stuff and you spent an hour on the phone with me up to this point. You're this far, and do you think that maybe the reason that you have, that you're on this call today is because you haven't been able to pull the trigger in the past? And then, usually they'll come up with something like, well, you know what? I tried a program like this before and I failed and I don't want to fail again, which then you go into, like,

burn you twice, which is, well, totally makes sense that I understand, and I'm really sorry they had to go through that. Well, did you ever date anybody in middle school or high school? Well, yeah. Are you married to that person? If you are, they are, then you can still sit. But it never. They're like, no. I'm like, imagine if you would go on your first sixth grade boyfriend or girlfriend.

And after that, you swore off men or women after that one breakup. That'd be ridiculous, right? Well, it's the same thing here. Because the thing is, if you had a bad experience, you're going to let that person burn you twice. First time when they were with you, and now when they're preventing you from doing the thing you really do need to do. Or if we're preventing you from meeting the person you need to meet.

Right. Right. And so don't give that situation more power that already's had. Only let it burn you once, not twice. Right, right. And so then we walk through, we just have to confront the decision. And so at the end of the day, does, do you believe that the product is going to get you to where you want to go the way you want to get there? Because that's the second part that I learned later in sales is that some people want to lose weight, but they want to lose weight their way. And I'll tell you, we learned it another time. But like, we found that out because we would get people who didn't want to sign up for membership and we'd invite them to a free nutrition consultation. And they would spend four times as much money on supplements as they would on the membership. Because they still wanted to eat or that they didn't want to try it.

They still wanted to lose weight. Yeah, yeah. They just wanted to lose weight their way. Their way, yeah. So the first thing that we need to learn is these are the yeses that we need from them. So it's like, listen, if you don't want to make decision, I'll tell you what the variables are right now. Number one, do you believe the product or service that we have is you can get you to where you want to go the way you want to get there. Yes.

Okay. Do you want to work with me or us? Yes or no, yeah, yeah. They're like, yes. Okay, do you know someone who has, or do you have access to the amount of money to start the program? Yes, sir.

If it's yes, then let's go. We just made the decision together. How much better do you feel? Like, you're just like, wow, okay, I feel much better. Awesome. What card do you want to use? Then, boom.

So a lot of it is this the ability to get them to decide. Confront. Yes. Exactly. Confronting the decision. And then if someone's like, still wishy-washy on it, the easiest and best questions in sales,

in my opinion, or what are you afraid of? If you sign up, what are you afraid of having it? Right. I lose my money or I don't lose the way. Yeah, yeah. Right, exactly. Well, then what do you think would have to happen in order for that to happen? Right.

Well, I don't show up. I don't do the work. Right. Well, then what would you need to see in order to feel like that wasn't going to happen? Because at the end of the day, you do know you need to work out and do all the stuff to lose weight, right? Right. Okay, so that's fixed. So then what would you need to see from us to make sure that you feel good about taking the decision?

Because like you can just always just take it apart and get to the point where like, you know what, if someone just texted me, it's like, well, that's part of the program. Right. Right. This is the weekly check-in. Yeah. Totally. And we do have that. What do you know?

Oh, I didn't know that. Okay, fantastic. Let's get you. Because sometimes you can't mention every single feature you possibly have on every sale, which is one of the benefits of 101 and one of the drawbacks. Right. It's like you can cater it, but at the same time you don't want to take the whole time. And I'll give everybody in the audience two really easy ones if you're starting your business. Yeah.

Number one is the reason close, which I use all the time, which is whatever reason they tell you that they don't want to do it is the very reason they should do it. Like, I don't want to do it because, like, I think my spouse is really controlling. I think the reason that you should do it is because your spouse is really controlling because you need to control of your life. Wow. I think that I don't have time to do it. I think that's the very reason that you should be doing that is you need to get your time back, right? Because you're trying to do this business program, right? And currently, are you working all day?

They're going to say yes, because everyone thinks they're working all day. They're like, you're working all day? Okay. Well, then obviously what you're doing now isn't working. Right. So the first thing we're going to do is cut out all the stuff that's not working, and then you're going to have all this time to do the program. That's micro.

So the macro is the one I said earlier. Micro is that's the second one for time. There you go. For everyone in the audience. And so with the reason closed, it's just whatever reason they present with, just say totally understand. You don't have money? How long do you want that to be an excuse of why you can't do things in life?

That's the very reason you should be doing this, more than anyone, right? It's like when someone says, this is a lot of money to me. This is really expensive. And then you would normally say, like, this is a lot to you. right and they say yeah like well you know what that's the perfect reason to do it because there's people every single day who come in here and they buy this thing and the money means nothing to them but the thing that makes you successful yeah yeah the thing that makes you successful is that this is a lot of money to you and the only reason that this won't work is if you don't do the work

and if this means a lot to you then you're more likely to be successful than anyone else here wow and so when you say that it's true yeah and it helps overcome the people because a lot of of times like I spent a lot of money early on by percentage from my net worth on on skills and acquisition education and it is scary but it's a hundred percent what you need to do when you're starting out it's the fastest route to getting to where you want to go is buying the lessons from people ahead of you and so that's the reason close that you can use in all those different situations and the other one is one that I'm working on I'm trying to figure out like a skeleton key for closing because it's something like I just love this stuff but it's it's like a hypothetical

close so whatever they present with you get a hypothetical yes and then you were in the new you walk backwards. So if someone's like, I'm just not sure, you just say, well, if the program were perfect, would you do it? And they're like, well, yeah, I would do it if we're perfect. You're like, cool. Then what's the difference between what we've gotten perfect? Right. And usually they can't generate many ideas anyways. And they're like, I don't, a lot of times they're like, well, I don't know. And you're like, right? So then it's not that. So let's talk about what's really like worrying you. What are you afraid of? Right. And then we can, then we can confront the real stuff. Right. The fears, the insecurities, the doubt.

Same thing with, but like, you can use that for any of them. It's like, I don't have time. Well, if you did have time, would you do it? Okay, well, how much time would, so if you did have, so they get the yes, it's like, well, how much time do you think you need? And then they're going to say something. You're like, did you know that it's actually one-tenth of that is what you're actually going to need? Oh, I didn't know that. And we already got the yes. So they're already committed with commitment and consistency. They're already committed to the yes that they just said. And so it's like, cool that if they say, cool, that if you had the time, would you do it? Yes, cool. Now, now they gave us one problem to solve it. Yeah. It's like, cool, then all I have to do is solve this one problem for you. because I just got you to say yes, because that also ties them down to not any other objections. Right. They still might, but it's much harder for them to go back on that.

To a no, yeah. Yeah. Now, one of the things that I've heard you talk about a lot, and also you just share right here, is developing skills and acquiring skills over the last decade. That's something that I've been obsessed with since I was a teenager as acquiring skills, because I didn't feel like I wasn't enough enough, I wasn't smart enough, talented enough, all those things. So I wanted to become those things by acquiring those skills.

and investing in them. What would you say are the three main skills? If you could only learn three to reach your first million, what would those be? Well, to reach the first million is you just have to sell something to someone. So it's just sales. Sales. It's just sales. You can just make a million just doing sales. Like you can even have to sell your own products. You can just do a million dollars to sell it. Right. And in order to make more in sales, you sell stuff that's more expensive. That's it. Like learn how to sell and then find the most expensive thing you possibly can to sell. And then sell that. That's how you sell.

And I will tell this to everybody who's like not sure. The more expensive it is, the easier it is to sell. Really? Why is that? Because you're dealing with better people. Like you probably had a consulting client that pays you 50 grand. It's like, oh yeah, by the way, I sent the wire yesterday. Whereas the $50 person's like, well, what exactly am I going to be getting with this program? You know what I mean?

It's a different person. You know what I mean? You're dealing with a different avatar. And from an actual selling perspective, almost every sales is the same regardless. So you might as well just do the sales that you're getting paid $5,000 for it rather than sales you're getting $20 for. Like, I learned, and the one thing that I will say is that if you're starting with the intention

to develop the skill of sales, selling the highest volume environment possible. That's why a lot of, I think, some of the best salespeople are fitness people. Because so many people, you know, you work at LA Fitness, you get 25 memberships a day that you're, I mean, you're sitting out 25 consults a day, and I did that for five years.

Wow. Every day, 20 plus consults every, I was in LA Fitness at my own gym, but like, so like, You get, there's just so much unconscious competence that you develop at that point. Like, and those, the time and the money, like, those things become so ingrained in how you speed. Yeah, and your language patterns that, and it gives you power in all different areas of your life. So, sales is number one.

You might want to develop the skill in a high volume environment, but understand that that's not, you might make some money doing that. But the goal will then be to sell massive buildings, sell super expensive cars, sell yachts, sell, sell jet, sell, you know what I mean? Like, so huge software packages to enterprise software, like, all of these are roles that you can make, $400, a million a year doing. So that's where you, you know,

and that's a million income, not even gross. That's a million income. But if you just want to like make a million dollars, just reverse out a million dollars and just do it looking at daily. So it's, you know, $3,300 a day, whatever, roughly. And so at that point, it's like, okay, well, I can sell $3,500 things,

you know, and I'll be over it. I can sell one $5,000 thing. Sure, sure. I can sell, you know what I mean? Or you can sell $3,300 things. And it's just which of those sounds easier? They're different, you know? And I will say that I have this desire maybe in the future to like look at some sort of

entrepreneurial personality type where like I do believe the businesses are extension of the entrepreneur in terms of like their personality, their thumbprint is on it based on just how it works. And so like I've met guys who do super high volume really low ticket transaction. And they're a little different than the guys who sell all. high ticket, like service-based stuff. And so I think, and I've seen people really successful on both sides, but I do think that the more expensive the ticket in general, the less operational complexity there is, you still have to take, if you're going to take 10 sales calls, you might as well make them worth all.

Exactly. Exactly. Right. I have two final questions for you, but before I ask them, I want people to get your book. It's really inspiring. $100 million offers. How to make offers so good, people feel stupid, saying no, which is a great. tagline as well. So make sure you guys get a few copies of this and also go to

Acquisition.com, right? Which is the main business that you're running right now, Acquisition.com. So when it's the right time to acquire a business if you're a small... It depends on whether you're going for majority or minority. That's the huge, that's the huge lever here. So there's the what you're trying to buy and then there's the life cycle of the business. So it's like if you were trying to buy a majority, then you want to get it before its peak, right? And you want to have it when it's already established with a good leadership team and you want to make sure that you can pool the entrepreneur out and still functions. Like, that's how we're able to sell the companies

that we had. And that's what we do with Acquisition.com companies that we actually, so we buy minority. Minority. Yeah, exactly. So we buy minority. 10, 20, 30 percent. 20 30 is usually the, it's the stakes that, like, we need to be invested enough to care. And usually the companies are between three and I think 36 million is the biggest one. So three, we don't really have any threes. I think the smallest we have right now is six. But six million to 35-ish million is the, it's kind of the range. And we have seven companies in portfolio. And so, For those companies, you know, we buy them because we think they can get better, we think that we can grow them, and we think that we can put a team in place and we can transition

from face-based branding to a brand-based business so that it is sellable. And then what happens is interesting there is that we might triple the revenue of the business, but we might 30x the enterprise value because it's not valuable if you're just, you know, Johnny teacher or whatever, which we do mostly internet businesses, because we know how to transition from being the personality brand who teaches some sort of niche skill like we talked about earlier into teaching the same thing but being like Salon University or being Plummer U or Jim launch. You know, like those are all like very specific niche skills that provide real value to people. So we're almost the entire portfolio except for one is e-learning.

And that's because we're huge education people. I like the business. I also like the impact. The margins. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I love the cash flow. It's a low cap-x business. It's very inflation responsive.

and that like we can always adjust prices very easily. It has, there's real impact on people's lives compared to like a four-year degree. You've got a great price anchor and alternative. And I think the education, my thesis is that education is becoming increasingly fragmented just like media has. And it's just catching up. The fact that all of these quote gurus exist is a telltale sign that more and more people are not going to college because they don't see the value. And I think they're right in that in that assessment. And so rather than spend $100,000, $200,000 or $200,000 or $50,000 or four years, you could spend a quarter of that and get a lot.

A way more, yeah, a way more tactical training that can replace your entire income. And so in terms of for us, we look for companies that are growing, that are cash flow positive, that are typically e-learning or internet businesses that have, that have really good products. So ideally somebody who really knows, who is good at the thing that they teach, which sounds silly, but you also know that there's lots of people who don't have that. And if we have those things, we on average, triple the profit of the business within a year. Wow.

So we're very, like, when we have our very narrowly defined avatar, which is doing three million or more, so $2.50 a month or higher. That's just to be considered. Usually they're at like the, usually like five to a million a month, $500,000 to a million a month is usually when we take them on. That's our sweet spot. And then we can we can ramp them. And then with regards to the majority, it kind of goes back to like I personally, I think long term we're going to try and figure out a way to maybe raise a fund so I can help all of the founders take some cash on the table and maybe do some sort of conglomeration thing because it's all you're learning, which would be cool. Or, you know, we might have them sell off and individually. It's really up to the founder because we're, and this is kind of cool for me, because I'm really just there to support them. And we recruit the key players for them. And because we have the reputation, we have, and we have so much more reach and leverage, we can find the people that will help them so much easier than they can. And so that's how we can build these things into enterprises so quickly. And we can get outsized returns. And so that's what we do. That's cool. And do you guys teach also how people can't acquire the company

on your site as well? We don't. No, the, the courses on the site, correspond with the books. So the book has a free course that comes with it. It's on the site. You can go through it. It has all the downloads, everything. The book, the ebook is 99 cents on Kindle. I think it has 5,000, I think five-star reviews on Amazon. Who's counting? You know, but who's going to happen? But it's 99 cents. I wanted to make it a form for anyone. I think that the hard copies a little more. But, you know, I wanted to, like, I've got people from like Nigeria and India be like, I can afford this thing somewhere. So that's, and I know they're probably never going to

become Acquisition.com. Right, right, right. But yeah, if you're a UA space company and your e-learning, we're always happy to see how we can. We'll have to have you come on another time. If you guys wanted to come back on to talk about how to acquire a smaller company

and teach that process, if you're interested in learning that, but Acquisition.com, Alex Vermosy on Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube. Your YouTube's blown up, your Facebook as well. But you're doing what, daily, almost daily YouTube now? You're shorts.

Shorts. We do the shorts. Yeah, we do the shorts daily on Instagram, TikTok, YouTube. We're on Twitter. We have a podcast that's actually grown a lot. Oh wow. Yeah, it's, it's... What's the podcast?

I don't even know yet. The game. Okay. I see more of your YouTube stuff. Yeah, it's the game. Yeah, the game is the podcast. It's just me. All right.

Check it out. They're same style as YouTube in terms of short. Sure, sure. 15-minute stuff. Yeah, exactly. And yeah, then we also have LinkedIn. We're everywhere now. Trying to be Louis-House.

The Twitters. Yeah, the Twitter's. and the mid-averse. I love it, yes. Make sure you follow you everywhere. Well, I'll link up. This is a question I ask everyone at the end called the three truths. So imagine it is your last day and maybe you've surpassed 85, maybe you're 120 or something,

extended the life as long as you can. And you've lived your life. You've accomplished the things you want to even though they don't matter anymore. You've made all the money, like you've given it all the way because it doesn't matter anymore. And no one has access to your content or information. For whatever reason, it goes with you, everything. The books, the videos, all this stuff goes with you, this interview, gone. And you can only share three things with the world, three lessons that you've learned from your entire life.

Yeah. What would be those three lessons or three truths that you would share? Give first and without expectation, and you'll get more than you can imagine in all aspects of life. One. If you can't do it forever, don't do it for a day. And probably something to the extent of if nothing matters, then you get to decide what matters. So you use the power wisely. That's good, man.

I want to acknowledge you, Alex, for your growth and your ego deaths and the constant journey of that death. I'm sure. You know, I'm on the same journey. And it's, but your acknowledgement of it, your ability to look yourself in the mirror and see, okay, here is what's working, what's not working, and how do I continue to develop that? And now you're this stage where it really feels like you're trying to create to add as much value as possible to as many people as possible. through your books, your content and your information. So I really acknowledge you for the example you're creating, for your really uniqueness, you're being 100% of who you are.

I mean, you're in like the basement with your wife needed and just like, you don't care necessarily about what you look or whatever, you know, you just want to add the value and not think about what are people saying about me, but how can I make it about others? Which I think is really inspiring example that you're leading from. So I want to acknowledge you for that, man. And hopefully we'll have you back.

gone for more times. But a final question, what's your definition of greatness? Reality exceeds expectations. Oh man, Alex. Thanks. Good stuff.