The Game with Alex Hormozi - The Truth? I Struggle with My Pride | Ep 398

Episode Date: June 16, 2022

My goal is to die with no secrets. Today, Alex (@AlexHormozi) opens up about his continuous battle with his pride, the events that made him reflect about his ego flaring up, his mindset on what to do next time his pride gets in the way, and of course help others who are struggling with the same feelings. Even pride can get the better of us when we least expect it.Welcome to The Game w/Alex Hormozi, hosted by entrepreneur, founder, investor, author, public speaker, and content creator Alex Hormozi. On this podcast you’ll hear how to get more customers, make more profit per customer, how to keep them longer, and the many failures and lessons Alex has learned on his path from $100M to $1B in net worth.Timestamps: (1:02) - Alex shares story of unaware aura incidents.(3:55) - Continuous struggle with pride/ego faced by Alex.(6:07) - Stay grounded by self-checking in ego-triggering situations.(10:09) - Pride isolates, never goes away. Learn to control it.Follow Alex Hormozi’s Socials:LinkedIn | Instagram | Facebook | YouTube | Twitter | Acquisition

Being transparent, that is what I'm working on right now in an effort to make better stuff for you guys because I want to ideally suck less in the future than I do today. Welcome to the game where we talk about how to get more customers, how to make more per customer, and how to keep them longer, and the many failures and lessons we have learned along the way. I hope you enjoy and subscribe. What's going on, everyone? I'm going to talk about a handful of interviews that I recently bombed and what I'm doing to try and fix that. So if you don't know I am, my name's Alex Mosey. I own acquisition.com, which is a portfolio of companies that right now does over $100 million a year. And I make these to hopefully document the journey of us getting to a billion in a way that hopefully serves you guys. And so I recently, I think by my own terms, bombed a couple interviews. And it's been a kind of rough 24 hours

for me. And I honestly would have never had any intention of making a video about it. But Lela was like, I think you should share the stuff with the audience because they will probably benefit from So here I am. So I am feeling not 100% to be transparent with you. And I honestly just felt like I got kicked in the nuts the last day or so. And it happened because Layla and I did an interview with Ryan Panetta on his podcast. And after getting off the interview, you know, Layla when we were walking around our daily loop, she was like, hey, are you trying to come off a certain way? And I just kind of looked at her as like, I mean, not consciously. Why? And she's like, well, you're coming off like ultra-analytical and not like as fun. And I was like, well, that's not, you know, my hope.

And she didn't say it, but I think part of it was also like and probably a little prideful. And I was like, well, that sucks. And like, I take Layless feedback more seriously than just about anybody because I trust her intentions. You know, most people have an ulterior motive, which is one of those difficult things in terms of like, who do you trust for feedback? But I trust my wife's motives that she just wants me, you know, to be better. And she said, hey, to be clear, if that's what you want, then I'm not saying it's bad. I, you know, I accept whatever you want. I don't know if that's what your intention is. And so I was pretty quiet for the rest of the walk home and just really kind of kept mulling on it. And it did bug me a lot because one of the things that

scares me is when I'm, you know, coming off in a way that I'm not aware of. You know what I mean? And so it feels like a blind spot. And it just, it feels very out of control, for lack of better term. And so anyways, that was pretty, you know, not fun. And then this morning I got a message from our team that edits the podcast for us. And he was like, hey, and I had done a podcast yesterday as well. So I did two podcasts yesterday. And I did a Spartan Up podcast. And on that podcast, I don't know, it just, I wasn't, Joe and I were not vibing.

Or at least I didn't think we were. I think I came off like a little bit of a douchebag. And I felt like it was off even during the podcast. But anyways, when my podcast editor, this morning, morning came up because he like saw the the footage he was like you know and he's trying to do this as like tastefully as he possibly can for lack of a term he was like you know you kind of sound like a dick and you're you know it sounds condescending and you're talking above the audience you're not really serving anyone and that was that one really kind of like drilled me in the nuts because it was right

after i heard it from leila and heard it from him and so in a lot of ways i would say i'm grateful that that happened because, you know, if Layla had just said it, I think I would have, you know, I take it seriously, but like two people in 24 hours saying it made me really think long and hard about it because, you know, just very transparently, like the number one thing I've struggled with my entire life is ego. And it's a topic that, I don't know, I feel like it gets talked a lot more in the woo-woo world than it does in like the entrepreneur world. But pride kills profits. And a lot of it is because like we care more about being right than serving the other person. And there's this quote about humility that, shoot, I can't remember the guy's name, but he's the guy who wrote, I think disruptive innovation. He was a Harvard Business School professor. I think his first name's Christian.

Anyways, very, very smart guy. And he said, humility is not thinking less of oneself, but increasing your regard for others. And that was a really useful definition for me because it's, you know, it's not about pushing yourself down. It's about raising everyone else up. And I think that there have been some podcasts that have gone really well. Like there's a School of Greatness podcast with Lewis House that I think is really, really good that's going to come out soon. There's a podcast, the Ice Coffee Hour podcast with Graham Steffin, Jack Selby, on their channel, which you can check out is, I think, a really good podcast. At least I've gotten a lot of positive feedback from it.

And I was trying to look at like, what's the difference between those ones and the ones that I come off, you know, duchier. And, you know, I'm partially exploring this outlawed with you guys because, like, I don't know if there's times where you're, you know, not coming off the way you want to or you're like not in the right mood or you're just, you're not the best version of you. You know what I mean? And I'm kind of making this because I think, you know, I feel like just from the comments and the posts and the tags and things like that, like Musi Nation and I love you guys to death. I think there are sometimes where you put me on a pedestal, like I am something that I am something that. I am not. You don't know what I mean? Like, I am very flawed and I work at it. You know what I mean? And I fail a lot. And ego has been one that I have struggled a lot with. And it was the thing that really isolated me, you know, when I was younger, because I definitely, you know, and I think ego is

another way of saying insecurity of just, you know, wanting to prove that you're better than people because deep down, you don't feel like you're good enough. And so for me, that's been a struggle my entire life and it's been just a I see it much more as a war than I do a battle you don't I mean so you know wars have many many battles in them and at this point I'm definitely not undefeated so it's much more about like I'd like to have more Ws than L's in the in the wins and losses column around this and I think I've just had a lot of Ls lately and so I'll just explain to you what I think you know my process of what I'm going to try and think of around this you know in the future is that I'm going to try and level set before I get on interviews. And so I put a little checklist in my phone

of like, hey, humility is increasing your regard for others. It's caring more about the audience. It's caring more about the other person than being right. And it's ideally just lifting up everyone around you. And it's just, you know, I think there's just this part of me that always screams out and wants to, you know, prove something. And I'm sure that, you know, a lot of the material success has come from this place. And I don't think it's a positive place. I think it's a negative one. Or rather, it's a, you know, an emotion that I wouldn't say as a pool. It's a, when I see positive negative, I should redefine it as it is in a way from fuel rather than a towards fuel. Like most of my motivation has been trying not to feel like a failure in my own eyes than it is to, you know,

pull towards something. I'd like to. When I operated my best self, I think I have more pool motivation, but I still think that there's a significant part of me that is driven away from things and driven away from pain. And so I noticed the common theme between the ones that I did well on and the ones that I didn't do, you know, or didn't show up the way I wanted to, was I think my ego flared up. And I think that for me, it was, if I, if I sense, you know, a more serious, you know, tone from the other person or I feel like I can't relax, then I, then I don't, you know what I mean? And I get hyper-analytical and I get really cold. And so in some ways, I think my worst self is just kind of a light version of anger,

because I think pride creates anger a lot of times. You know what I mean? It creates fear, and then that fear turns into anger, you know, in the words of Yoda. And so being cognizant of that is, you know, at least now I'm sort of aware of it. And so I'm making an extra effort to not be that way and to take steps beforehand where if I, like, feel my ego flaring up and trying to posture and trying to prove right, which is kind of when I get into that mode, I just get hyperanalytical. I get really, really, I don't know, defensive is the right word, but like I really start defending. all my ideas and attacking other people's ideas. And I just don't think it's helpful for anyone. You know what I mean? And it doesn't serve me. Hey, Mosin, A quick break just to let you know that we've been starting to post on LinkedIn and want to connect with you. All right, so send me a connection

request and note letting me know that you listen to the show and I will accept it. There's anyone you think that we should be connected with, tag them in one of my or layless posts. And I will give you all the love in the world. All right. So let's get back to the show. Being transparent, that is what I'm, you know, working on right now in an effort to make better stuff guys because I want to ideally suck less in the future than I do today. Definitely feel pretty shitty about it, but I will endeavor to be better. And so my steps and the kind of like the refrain that I'm going back to is the humility is about increasing my regard for others. It's about listening more. It's about seeking to understand not to prove right. It's about trying to put the needs of the audience

first. And, you know, one of the interesting things too is I feel like I do better with lives. So like if I'm, I'm like on stage or like at workshops or even doing like the Instagram live that I did the other day. Like I feel like I'm better when I'm with you guys than when I do in a reported fashion like this. And I think even the podcasts that are more recorded, if like I might try and incorporate more lives as almost as a crutch to try and give myself a bridge to being better about this. But I feel like if you guys are there with me, I feel much more like aware that you guys are there and I want to make it worth your time and worth your attention and worth the cost. But when you're not, you know, sometimes I think I retreat into like my more. analytical side that tries to just defend stuff and I don't like it. So that is what I'm working on right now. And if you are working on something like this, then leave it in the comments below.

And if this was in any way valuable to you, this was very uncomfortable for me to make, but this is in an effort to fulfill one of my life goals, which is to die with no secrets. Because I think, you know, I'll give you a quick tangent on this. Pride isolates us. It makes this feel alone. And a lot of that, I think, also comes from shame, which is that we, we feel ashamed of things that we have done or things that we have thought. And we think about what other people would say about us. And, you know, the reality is that most people aren't even going to shove to your funeral. So why would you care about what they're going to say while you're alive? But we still do. You know what I mean? Because social dynamics are a strong part of,

you know, tribe behavior. And, you know, if you get shunned by the tribe, it feels like death. And so it makes sense that we would we would care about what other people think because that is how we are raised. Like that is how we learn behaviors. That's how we learned what's socially acceptable, et cetera, you know, to function as a human being in society. And so to say like, we're not going to care about what other people think. I think it's a process that we try and unlearn over time. But I don't think we ever get rid of it because I think it's really just being able to add an extra step or an extra second of pause saying like, I do care about some things, but do I care about everything that society thinks? And so I think it's really being more selective about the

things that we choose to agree with or disagree with society on overall when it comes to how we judge ourselves. But shame isolates us. And so my hope and my experience has been every time that I've kind of like shared a secret or shared something that I was ashamed of, I realized that my fear of the light of it getting exposed was far greater than the pain of exposing it to begin with. And so I think there's a thing. I think there's a saying it says shame cannot exist in the light. So shame only exists in darkness, which exists in isolation and our pride isolates us from other people and makes us feel like we can't share those things because we will, you know, be less than. And so my goal is to die with no secrets so that, you know, at least in my mind, everyone sees me for who I am because I think the fear is if people saw the aspects of yourself that you are not proud of, that they would think less of you or they would reject you or not approve of you or you would lose whatever, you know, status that you have. And so I'm actively trying to combat that.

So hopefully when I die, I will have no secrets left. And everyone who is around me knows those things and accepts me for who I am, including the many flaws that exist within me. So anyways, Mosey Nation, I love you guys. This audience that, you know, you guys coming together has been something that I, it was beyond what I expected. It's certainly more than I deserve. And I'm just, I'm truly grateful.

And you guys help me be a better version of me. And so I just want to say thank you. Have an amazing day, guys. If you are new, there's a whole bunch of other stuff that's much more business-focused on this channel. But I was feeling rather in the dumps. And Lathleta said, you should tell people about it. So here I am. So lots of love.

Bye.