The Game with Alex Hormozi - Unlocking Your Potential: Leaving No Stone Unturned (on Real Talk with Zuby) Pt.2 - June ‘23 | Ep 582

Episode Date: September 2, 2023

“You want someone who really believes.” Today, join Alex (@AlexHormozi) as he guests on Real Talk with Zuby to discuss the importance of having supportive people in your life and taking advice from those with bigger dreams for your future. Drawing on his personal experiences with pressure, coping mechanisms, and mental health, Alex shares how a life-threatening experience led him to reevaluate his priorities and exit multiple businesses to focus on his own well-being. This is part 2 of the interview.Welcome to The Game w/Alex Hormozi, hosted by entrepreneur, founder, investor, author, public speaker, and content creator Alex Hormozi. On this podcast you’ll hear how to get more customers, make more profit per customer, how to keep them longer, and the many failures and lessons Alex has learned on his path from $100M to $1B in net worth.Check out the episode on Real Talk with Zuby’s YouTube Channel!Timestamps:(6:56) - Legacy is through education.(13:32) - Building a relationship through entrepreneurship.(26:39) - Unconventional love story with success.(37:02) - Find someone who accepts you.(41:56) - Shared values and interests are crucial in a successful relationship.(44:48) - Importance of being coachable.Follow Alex Hormozi’s Socials:LinkedIn | Instagram | Facebook | YouTube | Twitter | Acquisition

You want somebody, in my opinion, who believes in your dreams even more than you do. Because I'm a big believer that you should only listen to somebody or take advice from people who have bigger dreams for your life than you do. And I think most people don't have bigger dreams for you, which just means that for me, their advice is invalid. Welcome to the game where we talk about how to get more customers, how to make more per customer, and how to keep them longer, and the many failures and lessons we have learned along the way. I hope you enjoy and subscribe. Well, what I do want to ask you is from a mental perspective and also from a relationship perspective, because there's a lot of people here. I do want to talk about how you met your wife and everything like that. But managing all these relationships, both professionally and personally and then dealing with your own stuff mentally, what was that actually like to go through?

Because it's cool to hear the story, but I mean, what was even going on in your mind? What was that pressure like? I mean, it was tough enough that I was drinking like a half a bottle of Johnny Walker Black every night. during most of that early gym when we were doing the turnarounds. And the thing is, I feel like I can say this pretty confidently. Like, I wasn't an alcoholic, and it didn't affect my performance in terms of,

like, I still shut up and I still sold every day, and it was what it was. But I drank to basically, like, decrease the noise in my head because I felt so much pressure. It was like, I felt like I could take my first breath of the day after I had, like, a massive, you know, half a bottle of that stuff.

And that, obviously, you know, the pressure eventually led to, you know, me getting the collision driving back from a family event ironically. And what was interesting for me, and that might do, that's not when I like, I didn't stop drinking after that. Because again,

like I still felt honestly that it wasn't really an issue. I had a coach, like a performance coach at the time. And after I got, I walked away from the accident. If you saw a picture show that it, it was six months an hour and I walked away, head on collision.

And he was like, Alex, your stress is going to kill you. He's like, and you now see this. And his big thing was basically like conversations unsaid, which is like you have all this attention that's spread between these things because you aren't willing to look at them. Like you just, you avoid these things. You avoid these higher conversations.

And so at this time, I was so spread thin. I actually asked Layla to just go away basically for a month. And so we still talked, but we were like on a break. And she basically came in one day and was like, do you still want to be with me? And I was like, no, you can do whatever you want. And so she went and launched the gym in Hawaii. We actually needed it. She still has the all-time record from that launch.

And at this time, I had nine businesses. Okay. Because I was the classic, like, shiny object entrepreneur. And so I had partners. I had all this stuff. And I had a dental agency. Oh, okay. A chiropractor agency.

I had five locations. I had the sixth, which I was now in, spending my days in. And then I had the launch business. So I had like no mental bandwidth whatsoever. And mind you, like, I'm still not really making any money. I'm just like making revenue and just spending it. Like I'm just not doing,

I'm not making anything. And so the thing that really helped me get through that was after I did get in that DUI and that collision, I think stakes became really clear to me, which was that I didn't die. And if I didn't die, then everything that I looked at was framed through the image of like, will it kill me?

And so then all of a sudden, said like the next day I called all of these partners and was like, can't do business. And they're like, but use it. And I was like, can't do it. Sorry. I was usually the breadwinner. You know, I was the rainmaker for most of the businesses that I was part of. I was like, I'll do whatever do you want. I was like, but I'm not doing it. And so I exited all of those businesses within the next like 48 hours. What was your role in those businesses like the dental and the caropractor? Okay. Yeah, marketing and sales. That was always my game. And so I just stepped out of everything. And that was when Layla was like, we should do this launch thing. It's actually

working. So that's like concurrently going on. But from a pressure perspective, the thing that the perspectives that have shaped my life have since then been all framed around death. And that's been kind of my single point of absolute truth is that like, I am going to die. And so if I look at things from that perspective, it just helps me get out of the like the day-to-day expectations management of other people because I live the first part of my life, more than half of my life, with the, choked by the expectations that I perceived of other people. And so I would say that probably the second half of my life has been just a slow and deliberate process of trying to disengage as many of those as I can so that I can just hear the one voice

that matters most, which for me is mine and trying to meet that man or the ideal version of myself's expectations. So I think about my 85-year-old self, and I'm like, what does he want me to do? And so I'm like, does he care about what this person thinks? I'm like, he said that that person didn't even shop to your funeral. okay, well, if they're not going to be at the funeral, why do I care about what they think today? And so I use that frame a lot.

And that's what actually gets me. It allows me to get out of a lot of perceived social constructs and expectations people want to put on you, or at least that you perceive that they're putting on you. And then you can just make decisions that make sense. And so I think that was my big unlock from that little season. And then that allowed me to kind of, I got all my attention back.

And then that's when, you know, I had that little breakthrough a few months later. and that was it. When you are 85 years old and you're looking back on your life, what do you want that legacy to be? So I would say internally and externally. So internally, it's that I leave no potential unused. So I think everybody has an idea of what their potential is.

And so I just want no potential Alex left. I want all of it actualized, every ounce of it squeezed out. Why? Because I find that meaningful. Okay. And then from an external perspective, the more I've thought about it, I'm a big believer in what Socrates said that ignorance is the only evil, just not knowing. So it's like people are mean to one another because they don't understand one another.

Like if they really understood the other person, then they wouldn't. And you've everyone's seen these TV shows where people hate each other. They find out more about one or the other. And all of a sudden, they're actually fine with each other. And so it's just people like context. And so I see, you know, the opposite of ignorance is knowledge or education. And so our mission acquisition.com is to make real business education available to everyone. And so that's why we write the books and why we write, make the courses,

because like that education is what allowed me. to lose everything and then still get it back. And if you play out different scenarios, like if you accumulate all this wealth and then you pass it on to a generation and they don't have the same education as you and then you pass it on two more generations, they lose it all because they don't know how it was made.

And so all of it, like we're here with like cameras and recording items and we're able to do it because other humans who we don't know figured something out and they passed it on. So it's very much like Newton's, you know, I can see so far because I'd stand on shoulders of giants. And I know that.

in 5,000 or 5 million years, like my name will definitely be forgotten, but I can still help humanity by having some level of contribution from an educational perspective. And so from an external impact, education, I think, is the greatest legacy. Because it's the only thing that, like, if you have kids and they lose all your money, but they have all your education, they can get it back. Yeah. And then from like a combating evil perspective, if you, if everyone had complete understanding of one another and of the world, which only comes through knowledge and education, then I think a great amount of people would be avoided. And so that's what I think my 85-year-old self,

it sucks to say this. I don't know how to say it light in a good way. But I really enjoy teaching, or rather if I was too many precise, I enjoy instructing. As in teaching is organizing the environment to reward or punish for behaviors. I don't do that.

But instructives are like, if these are the things and how I do them that have worked for me, use them if you want, that is something that I really deeply enjoy. Like right before I came here, I spent the entire day redrawing, images for the next book that's coming out

just so that they're like a little crisper and a little clearer and there's no thing that I enjoy more in my life. Like if I did only that for the rest of my life, like I'd be stuck. And so that's what I love most. I think of my 85-year-old self saw me do that for the highest percentage of my life possible. You'd be pretty happy to.

That's awesome, man. That's powerful. I think something really interesting about the time we're living in is there's something you said there which brought a thought to mine, which is you said in 5,000 years or whatever, you know, people aren't going to know your name. That might not be the case.

I think, you know, something that's so interesting, and I don't think anyone really, most people don't think about this or talk about it, which is that we actually, due to technology, we now live in the first ever time in human history where the things that you create and put out there beyond, say, a written manuscript, can exist forever and be accessed by everybody all over the world, right? This podcast, we are recording right now. this conversation, in 5,000 years, people can come back and not just listen to the conversation. They can watch us. All the videos you put out on YouTube, all the clips, all the long-form stuff. That was never, ever true. I mean, if you go back,

I don't know exactly what your photography, let alone videography, was invented, but, I mean, we don't know exactly what all these historical figures look like, right? Because there was no photography. There were definitely no video cameras. We can't hear their voices. There's no recordings of them.

I mean, maybe the earliest you can go back is to maybe one was photography invented. I don't know, late 1800s, early 1900, something like that, right? But it's only been, let's say, 150 or so years where you could even see an image of someone. Before that, it's statues, it's paintings. We've got an idea of what these people look like, but we can't go, oh, let's watch a video of this guy. And I think it's actually so fascinating that we now live in a time where everything we are now creating, our great, great, great, great, great, great, grandchildren can go and be, I wonder, I don't know what my, I don't even know what my great, great, great grandfather looked like, right?

But they can go back and be like, oh, okay, this is how, this is him, this is his video, these are his videos, this is boys. We've got like all. And I think that's actually, it's kind of scary in a way. It's a little bit scary in a way. But I think that's incredibly powerful because we've already got this stack of human knowledge, but I think it's just going to be exponential now. All these videos people are putting out, all their tweets, all their posts, all that everything.

I'm like, it's kind of scary that it's going to live on forever. So, you know, be careful of what you post. But it is going to. And I do wonder how that's going to sort of bear out for humanity. Because I often say that in this modern era, we only have two advantages. Human nature hasn't fundamentally changed over the centuries. The two advantages we have over our ancestors is we have better technology and we have access to the past. That's it.

Really. We're the same human beings as people. were 500 years ago, that's kind of all we've got. So if we choose to use that to our advantage rather than to our destruction, then I think that's how we move forward. Right now, we seem to be doing a little bit of both. But human nature doesn't change. It's why you can go back and read a book written 2,000 years ago and the life lessons are as applicable today, whether you're reading the Bible or you're reading Marcus Aurelius. It's like, oh, it sounds like this could have been written last week because it doesn't change. It's the same lessons. Humans have been

We have the same flaws. We're prone to the same silly thinking, same cognitive problems. We have the same survival needs. We need food. We need water. It doesn't change. And I think that we think that we're changing and we think that we're so advanced and whatever.

And I'm like, no, we've just got better stuff. It's kind of it. We're not, the people in the 1920s were the same. The people in the 1820s were the same. They just didn't have as much history and they didn't have the much stuff. No air conditioning, no Wi-Fi. Basically. Pretty much.

Yeah. It is interesting because I think a lot about how poorest people today live better than, you know, Louis the whatever, the royalty of a long era ago. That always tricks me out. And also that those people are still just as unhappy and happy as the people are today. And so, I mean, none of this is new stuff that more stuff isn't going to satisfy us. And I think that, like, when we die, or at least for me, like, I'll probably be equally satisfied and dissatisfied as I am today. Because the thing is, like, I've accomplished things that I said would make me happy years ago.

So I already know that that's a false, you know, false premise. And so I had this mentor early on. And I had a particularly good weekend. And, you know, saw some people I liked, did stuff that I was fun for me. And I came in just like kind of a little bit upbeat. And I told her that and she said, you know, I'm pretty sure that's the secret to live in a good life is putting as many of those days in a row as you can. And it was actually like a really, it operationalized joy for me.

Just like, okay, doing things that I like with people that I like, as many times in rows as I can. I've never heard someone say operationalized joy. Yeah. I was like, this man's a true entrepreneur. Well, it's just because like, a lot of it's like these amorphous words and we're like, what do they mean? It's like, well, how do I, how to make that real? And so that's what I spent a lot of time on.

And even today, because we get a lot of time, I'm sure you get lots of people pulling on your time, right? One of our teammates, our director of people, made a presentation on how it takes about 80 hours to make a friend, like a true friend. Okay. And that was actually really profound for me in a different way, more so because now I just think to myself, I'm about to take a lunch with someone. am I going to spend 80 hours with them?

If the answer is no, it's given me an easier way to say no. I don't think it was spent 80 hours with this person. Okay, I'd rather spend it with friends. Not to say that I'd never take new meetings, but it's given me a nice lens to say no, which I try and do as much as I can. You've mentioned your wife or previous girlfriend now wife multiple times throughout this podcast.

I'd like to learn more. How do you guys meet? So we met on Bumble, which is the dating, app. It was the best one then. So I don't know what the kids are doing these days, but it was, it was where all the best talent was. You don't want to know what the kids are doing this time. Yeah, I don't want to know. Yeah, it was where all the talent was. And so anyways, I called her up because I quickly, for me, my game plan was always like, get the phone number as fast as I could so that I could get off

the app. And so I called her up and set a frozen yogurt date because I said, hey, it's low commitment, right? If we don't like each other, we can dip in 10 minutes. And she tried to cancel me the day before the date. And so I called her up and I was like, you're not canceling. I just said no. I just refused her request to cancel. And so she showed up for the frozen yogurt thing. And we immediately just started talking about business. And that was like awesome because I never, it was all I cared about was business. And so I felt like all my other dates I always had to like pretend to be interested in what they were interested in. And so this date, I just got to talk about stuff I was interested in. She was interested in that stuff too. And so we spent like four hours on her first

date, only talking about business. And at the end of the date, I said, hey, I don't know if this is going to work out, but you should really work for me. And so I offered her a job. And I was like, I'm going to do this new thing. I'm going to call it gym launch. I was right at the time. I was like, I'm going to go around the country and launch these gyms. And so she said, no, I literally just met you. Like I'm not, I actually had a whole book of business as a personal trainer.

But anyways, I went and I did my first launches and I came back and I hadn't processed any of the money because I was, I can do the talking things. I did that. Got all the credit cards, got them on a sign. And then I'd have the next person. So I hadn't processed any of it. And so she picked me up from the airport like a month or a month or so later. And we'd spoken every night. And I was like, I went 21 for 23 today.

I went 18 for. 18 for 21, you know, like whatever it was. And she said, you need to take me on a date because you promised you're going to take me somewhere that wasn't Chipotle, Panda Express, and I was like, we're eating together. What else is there? And so anyways, I said yes. I said, can you do one favor for me first? And she's like, what?

I just need to help me process these contracts. And so I got back and I had this fast stack of contracts. And so I taught her how to process something like an hour. We processed like $100,000 something $1,000. And she, I mean, she can do math. She looked at it. And she was like, what is that? this. I was like, this is the thing I was telling you about. And then she just, she's like,

is it legal? That was her first question. Like, is it legal? And I was like, yeah. She was like, all right, I'm in. That's so funny. And so she quit her job. So I only did the first two or three launches on my own. And then Layla came with me. So anytime there was a launch or it was just one, it would just be, it would be both of us. And if we had two, she would fly to that one and we talk every night. And that was basically our early days. So we went from like, we just met to traveling the nation living out of the one room, motel room together within like six weeks. So this is a little bit of the context to when I went back to see your family. They're like, so this is the guy that you met on the internet and then six weeks later

dropped everything for and are sleeping in a motel room, Middle Eastern father. Oh, boy. Yeah. So a huge fan of mine, right? Right. When I came back, I had no money either. So I'd lost everything to. But when she met me, I was a successful five-location gym owner.

But anyways, we started doing this, and we met in April of 16. Okay. And so, remember the chronology there, we met in April 16. I did the first launches. Then we did launches together. I opened that sixth location on that guy in August, which I crushed that launch at 370 plus sales. And then he said then I sold the gyms. And then I put all the money into that account.

Then he emptied the money from that account. And then I got my DUI. And then. I got my DUI, my mom went to the hospital, and then I had to close that gym down, trained my bank account for the most part, then had the processing issue, then launched all the gyms, and then had the chargeback and refund issue with them doing everything. And then it started to work. And so that was the first 12 months of our relationship.

Wow. And so after things, like, things, quote, turned around, which was like May, two months later. But like what's crazy, though, is that like two months after that, we were taking home like, I mean, we took on like $300,000 in personal income, like two months after that. So honestly, I remember looking at her the month after that, when I had $100,000 saved up after having nothing again. And I was like one of the most significant moments in my personal life because up to that point, even with the gyms, I always left the money in the business account. So it never felt like it was mine. It was always like, yeah, it's going to be for the next location or whatever. And this was the first time I had $100,000 in my personal account.

and I remember being in the kitchen with her and like pulling it up and like getting really choked up because I couldn't even like say it because it's been such a goal for such a long time. I mean, mind you like for everyone was listening, it was six years. You know what I mean? Or five,

whatever it was five or six years. It was tough five or six years. And she came over and she like dropped everything while she was cooking and she just like gave me a hug and I just like wilted in her hands because it felt like we had made it. And I still do this day, don't think I've ever felt as rich as I did in that moment.

Because I think I think about it a lot because the relative change in income was like 100 X. You know what I mean? I was with 1,000 to 100. Like, I don't think I'll ever have 100x change in personal like ever again. And I remember like after I could like I caught my breath or whatever, I was like, we can screw up. There I go.

For the next three years and we'll be okay. Yeah. Because for me, we were living together on 30,000 a year, both of us. And so I knew that I was like, we're good. We're good. And then obviously the next month we made more and more. but like that moment, it was,

I felt like I could exhale finally. And then that, I proposed to her two months later. And my proposition was in the same style of, I, I walked in one day, our boys were worried because we were dating and running this business.

I was growing really fast. And they were like, what happens if you guys break up? I was like, it's a good point. I understood concerns. And so I just went to Layla and I said, I have to handle something.

We're going to take a detour in the story. I had had a fiancee before this. And we had kind of left, things like open loop. You know what I mean? Like maybe in the future. And so I was like, I need to like close this loop. And so I said, I'm going to go fly back to see my fiance and kind of close things off.

She took that as us breaking up. Oh, gosh. So she flew back home. Oh, gosh. Yeah. And we came back, you know, two days later together. And we were at that point in Albuquerque, New Mexico. And I came in with flowers and I was like, these are for you.

And she was like, okay. I was like, so I've been thinking. I think the exact words I said, I think it would make sense if we got married. Fellas listening. This is the line right there from Alex Morris. I didn't have a ring. I didn't do the one knee down thing.

I will say I probably surprised her. And so, yeah, I ended her flowers. I think it would make sense if we got married. And then she looked at me and I was like, well, what do you think? And she was like, I mean, yeah, I guess so. And I was like, okay, well, then I guess we need to go get you a ring. And so I was like, well, there's a jewelry store around the corner. I was like, you want to go there?

And so we got in the car, went to the grocery store. He looked at a bunch, and she was like, I like that one. I was like that one, too. And so we bought it in 10 minutes. And then went back to the apartment, and I was like, I guess we have to do the church thing. And so I called it the church. And the pastor was like, are you sure, son? Like this is, I was like, are you free Wednesday?

And he was like, yeah, it was six days from that point. I was like, yeah, no, that's fine. And so we worked and we worked that day that Wednesday. And then after work, we went to the church. We got married with no one, no family. Wow. Didn't tell anybody. because we thought our parents would disagree with it

because they'd say you guys are moving too fast, you're being so irrational, blah, blah, blah. But we were both like, we're doing this for us, it's not about them. And so we got married, we showed up to work the next day, told the staff, we're like, hey, you're good, all your concerns have been accounted for. We are married, so you don't have to worry about that anymore.

And they were like, what? And so that was it. And so we got engaged and married in six days and then we're not going to roll in since. Wow. That's a heck of the story right there. I do have to ask, what was the response when you eventually told your respective parents? They weren't pumped about it.

I'll say that. Yeah, my dad was not happy about it. So, another random story, but I went back home for something. And my dad threw a surprise wedding, kind of. Oh, okay. It wasn't a wedding, though, because there was no vows or dresses or anything. And so it was just like a dinner. So it's kind of like a surprise reception.

Okay. But it was only his friends. Okay. So there was a bunch of people I didn't know. It was an odd experience. Okay. And so that was my dad's taking it. My mom found out over the phone, whatever.

And then I do remember her parents that was the funniest. So we phacetimeed her dad. And he fixed him. He's like, hey, sweetie. And I'm like, hey, I'm in this thing too. And she was like, I've got an announcement. And so she shows her ring, right? And they were like, oh, congratulations.

and she was like, and we got married. And then it was silence. Oh, boy. The silence was so long that I stepped in on the phone and it was like, Dr. Carrosh, I was like, nobody died. That was my first line after the silence was nobody died.

There's no funerals. Everyone's okay. Like, it's all good. But we spent 13 months together from beginning to end, been through a ton. and like it's all good. That was how both parents found out. And then what was interesting, though,

was that we had to go back and we spent like six weeks, a nice place at this point that I was renting out. I had a tenant. And so we had gone to Puerto Rico and then to try and do tax stuff, which didn't work out because four days later, Hurricane Maria hit. If you remember that,

it decimated in Ireland. So four days after we moved to Puerto Rico, the biggest hurricane in 90 years hit the destroyed everything. And so Lela was like, I don't want to live there. And so we basically were, homeless, but now we were making more than her parents' house every week. And so I went back now. It was kind of a cool 360 of like two years earlier. And so now we're staying at her parents' house

in the same room. And we spent, I spent like six weeks with them. And so then her dad and I have been close since. Like he's, he's great. He helps him with my books. Like we're thick as thieves. Awesome. But that was, so that was the, they were like, okay, this guy's not so bad. Just showed up from the internet and just snatched my daughter. But to piggyback real quickly, Layla is the reason that I'm here. All of the success that I've had has been in part or 100% due to her. Like a lot of the early days, I made my gyms relatively successful and not super successful. And it was only when I met her because she is like kind of the yin to my yang.

She's like got a massive heart. She really is so good at judging people. She's never been wrong about like the partner. She was like, I wouldn't do business. this guy. I was like, oh, what do you know? I'm the entrepreneur. And she was right. The amount of times that we've had like actual crooks try and steal money from us and then later get indicted, like true like actual like criminals. And she like, we'll get like halfway through a price. She's like, I don't know. I just, something's off. Like it's happened three times in the last

like a few years. And she just has like an amazing people picker. And so she can build an infrastructure of people around anything. And so I've always been able to like outsell and out market any company I had, but until I met Layla, I couldn't do anything about it. And then she came in and was able to just organize people. And she's been, I mean, it depends on how you define CEO, but like, she is the CEO of all the things that we do. Like, her title is CEO at Acquisition.com. I'm founder. I'm just like random guy who shows up on stuff. But she, like, I have one direct report. She has many. Yeah. And so it's been because of her. Like, I couldn't, a lot of people try and pay lip service to, like, boost their wife up. Like, it's not that. And I would just always get the credit because

I'm a guy. But like Layla's a vicious entrepreneur. I mean, she was successful personal travel. She was making more money, you know, before we met and then, yeah, and since then we've fully integrated our lives. So we work, we live life together. So we both wake up and work all day and we work out and we spend all of the day pretty much together and we've been doing that since. And if you think about like marriage stats, it's kind of funny. It takes, I think it's the average couple spends, I think, two hours a day together. And like 45 minutes of that is watching television, 45 minutes of that is eating. And then there's like 30 actual minutes of like time. Yeah. And two hours. That's U.S. statistics. Yeah. It sounds crazy, but then I think of how

most people live their lives and people spend what eight to 10 hours at work or on the way to it. And then, you know, especially if they've got children in the picture, whatever. Yeah, it, it sounds shocking, but actually if you think about it, it's not surprising. And so Layla and I, by the math, have been married for 50 years. So it's been a long time. A lot of time. A lot of them together. It's been good. That's no, man. I mean, it's such an unorthodox story, but it's also, it's also very beautiful, right? It's extremely romantic whilst being extremely unromantic. You know, I, so I remember I was engaged before this and wonderful family, everything was awesome. And, you know, being a sensible person, I was talking to her sisters and was like,

hey, I'm planning on proposing. They're like, well, what's your plan? I was like, well, the plan is, we're going to go grocery shopping and then I will just like propose there. Because, my whole angle was, this is what life's going to look like, not the flowers. And I was like, this is life. And so if you want to do this with me, I'm game. And her sister heard that story and was like, yeah, that's a terrible idea. This is not about you. This is about her.

And, you know, she wants all these things. And so I did a whole, the classic song and dance, the whole thing. I think that for me, the way that Layla and I's story has panned out is the way I wanted to pan out. Because like to your point of like it's maybe romantic, maybe it's not romantic for some people, but it's like it's ours. And so that's my vibe. Well, no, it's funny because it's romantic in an unorthodox way. But if you think about the things that are, I'm not married yet, but if I think about the things that are genuinely important in a lot in a marriage and in a relationship and just that everyday stuff, spending times together going through the ups and downs, taking the L's, getting the wins, together, all that stuff.

I mean, that's kind of what it is. All this stuff of, you know, fancy this. Yeah. They're just all the song and dance. The whole whole Disney kind of thing. Yeah. It's like, okay, cool. Like people do all that stuff.

Yeah. But then I think in the Western society in particular, and not even just Western, honestly, like globally, because of the kind of commercialization of a lot of it, you know, there's so much focus on the wedding. Yeah. But not the marriage. Totally.

Just in what I see in many people's relationships. It's all this. one day of like pump and grandeur and spending tens or hundreds of thousands. And then it's like, okay, well, what about the rest of it? And people aren't thinking that. I mean, if you're spending only two hours a day with a person, I'm like, that explains a lot of the other marriage statistics to me. I'm like two hours, that's nothing.

And I get that people's lives are structured in such a way. You know, this person's got a day job. That person's got a day job. And they're apart for so long. But it's even though that's normal when you really think about it, it's kind of crazy. Yeah. That you're spending what you spend 10 hours at work or on your way to work in some office say. Yeah. And your spouse is also doing the same. You're over there. They're literally spending more time with your co-workers and with your boss and whatever than you are with the

person you're married to and then you get home and you're tired and maybe you, maybe people fight and they just, you know, you know what I mean? Because they're stressed out from the work. And I'm like, as an entrepreneur myself, even though I'm not married, I'm not married yet, but I like to talk to people who are and learn from them because so much of what I'm doing now and the way I'm trying to position things is to think towards that future of being married and having a family and everything. And I don't want to be a husband and a father who's not there because I'm forced to be kind of going into someone. So I'm like, let me set stuff up now so that I will have that flexibility. Yeah, sometimes you don't have to go on a trip. I might have to travel there or whatever.

But I want it to be on my accord. I don't want it to be because I have to do this or I have to have to do that. I have to be away from my kids. I have to be away from my wife. So I think the way that that's worked out, even though it sounds so, it sounds unorthodox to people, right? Even the running a business together. A lot of people are told, you know, don't run a business together. Yeah. Your spouse or whatever. Although I've actually heard that that is the opposite of what is correct. I've actually heard that couples who do run businesses together. If you make $1 together in a business, you have a 90% likelihood of not getting divorced. Is that an actual statistic?

Divorce rates among people. divorce rates among people who have made a dollar together in business together is 10%. That's incredible. That's incredible. Hey guys,

love that you're listening to the podcast. If you ever want to have the video version of this which usually has more effects, more visuals, more graphs, you know,

drawn out stuff. Sometimes it can help hit the brain centers in different ways. You can check on my YouTube channel. It's absolutely free. Go check that out if that's what you are into

and if not, keep enjoying the show. Let me ask because a lot of young men do listen to you. I'm sure you've been asked, you know, we do live in a time and an era and in a place where there's a lot of new challenges for young men and women out there. There's a lot of challenges.

A lot of men are, both men and women, I think, are operating from a position of fear in many cases, right? Literally fear of the opposite sex, but also fear of marriage, fear of commitment, fear of having kids, fear of doing this, fear of doing that, fear of judgment. for a young man who is out there who is looking for a relationship, a wife, someone to spend their life with and to create their future with, what type of advice would you give to that man, whether he's in his 20s, he's in his 30s, whatever, but he's aware of all the madness going on in the world, he's concerned about this, concerned about that, doesn't really know his position. When it comes to the wife part in particular, what would you suggest to that man?

because I saw you did a post on Twitter about this recently. So I'd love for you to expand on it. So three things. One is check your stats. And so what I mean by that is, if this person came into your life, what happened to your stats? Did you get in better shape or worse shape?

Did you start making more money or less money? Is this person trying to take you from the things that you want to do or is trying to encourage you to do the things that you want to do? That's number one. Like all my stats had to go up. Like that coach that I was talking about, I was debating whether I should stay with, I was at that point,

I was to stay with Layla because it was during that break where she was going to come back and he was like, check your stats. And when I thought about it, I was like, well, she's in shape and she works out and she eats well. And I've been doing better about that. And she doesn't drink like I drinks. That's probably good. You know, I'm making more money than I did before. So like all these things are like, well, yeah. I mean, I guess my stats have gone up.

And that was actually, as silly as that sounds, that was like a huge point for me. And then we got back together. The second one is you want somebody in my opinion who believes in. your dreams even more than you do. Because I'm a big believer that you should only listen to somebody or take advice from people who have bigger dreams for your life than you do. And I think most people don't have bigger dreams for you, which just means that for me, like, their advice is invalid. And so you want someone who really believes. And I think that Layla always believed. I mean, really when there was, when it was definitely faith, there was not a lot of evidence. You know what I

mean? Like, she believed. I think that like in the dark times that you will inevitably have in life, like having someone who believes in you is just, it's just, it's just, everything. It can be everything. The last one is, so the Bible talks about this. I want to just get any ancient wisdom around getting married. Right after Layland I got married, we went through all the divorce stuff so that we could understand why people get divorced. And so we went through all of these marriage retreats that are meant for like crisis marriages. You went to them? You attended them? No, we went through like the materials. We bought the workbooks and watched the seminars. And it was super helpful for us. There was a great one. It's a Christian thing, even if you're not faith-based, I'm not.

it was called love and respect. And it was basically talking about how like men have different needs than women do. Men need respect. Women tend to need love. And so talking like in those terms was really helpful for us. And I think in a lot of ways just validated how we had set up our relationship. But the only line in the Bible about picking a mate, not being married, there's tons of stuff on being married, but only one on picking. And it was pick someone you go to war with.

And when I think about that, I thought about it before we did get married. And like she was somebody who had gone through war with me. me, you know what I mean? And when she went to Hawaii, which is when we did that launch, when we split up, right, or went on a break, whatever. When she did that, think about it from her perspective for a second. So she met this guy on the internet. Four weeks later, he flashed to some money. She quits her job, which she had a good career, starts flying around the country. As soon as he starts flying around the country, meets a partner, she disagrees with it, opens up more businesses. I thought I quit to do this thing with you, but now you're doing lots of things,

then says, I don't think I want to do this anymore. And then at that point, when you're living in a motel with this dude who says he doesn't want to be with you, you then fly to Hawaii and still make him money. And so, like, when my world was crumbling at that point, Layla stood tall and she crushed it.

Like, she didn't just, like, do okay. She broke and set the record to this day for a single launch location. And so, like, to me, when she came back and like I had had some space, I'd finished this partnership, you know, I'd cleaned up some of my personal space. It was like when the chips were down and not everyone can be that lucky

where you get to like, like, see someone go like test. You know what I mean? That kind of thing. It's kind of like you can say you're loyal, but until you have the opportunity to cheat, you weren't anything. Yes. Like you need evidence to claim the trait.

And so like, Layla's tough as nails. And so when she did that and came back and that was all the money that needed to like do the, try yet again and then fail. Only temporary. Yeah, right. For my next temporary success leading only to failure, that was like she was somebody that I would go to war with.

You know, the last thing that I'll add to this is, again, I want to put the big giant disclaimer here, which is like, this is just what worked for us, do whatever you want. There are no sheds, live your life.

You don't have to get married. I'm not even like pro-marriage. I'm just pro-my marriage. Like, I see most marriages, I'm like, I wouldn't want that. You know what I mean? So as an institution, not the biggest fan. We talked about what it would look like for us to split up.

What would we do about the business? And we both agreed. And even to this day, nothing would really change. I would just live somewhere else and we'd still do business together because we enjoy doing business together. And so I get questions from guys who are like, how do I get my girl to like whatever? And I'm like, you're not.

She always liked it. You're not going to change the person. And so one of the things that I loved about Layla was that up front, she said, I'm never going to try and change you. and to me that was very freeing because like I'm weird in my own ways you know what I mean and almost like that little microcosm

of that story with the proposal and mind you lovely family lovely people awesome it was just pure acceptance and so I think that like if you can find somebody who just accepts you like truly isn't like hey you should dress this way or hey you should cut your hair like this

or hey like all the because like there's big implications in that statement it's I don't care what you want for you I want you to look like this for me. Now, you could make the argument, well, I'm the one who looks at you all day and you want me to be attracted to, et cetera.

But like, in my opinion, again, one man's two cents, is that you should be attracted, should as a strong word, is that I think it works better if you were attracted to that person's natural state. Because if they, if the way they act, the way they dress, the way they, like, the way they are is someone that you are attracted to,

then I think that's the game. I think you've won. And so I'm a big believer in Leland, I call, loving logically, which is counter to all the Hollywood stuff. But we talked about, like, okay, well, what happens if we get divorced, what happens with the business, how are we going to do that? And it was like, we're just going to keep running. It's like, okay, cool.

Layla and I have had one argument, and it wasn't like a screamer match. It was just like she really didn't want me to do this business thing, and I really wanted to do it. And I steamrolled her, and I did it. And it was the wrong call. It was the wrong call. Yeah, it was the wrong call. And she was right. But you know what?

She's never once brought it up. that's actually that's no yeah she's never once been that way and so I got a piece of advice from a pastor about it and yeah he said something to us that was really helpful he said if you don't agree don't move forward and we've we've actually stuck with that so people were like what happens when it's a 50 50 it's like you keep working on and eventually you come up with a solution you know that works your brother you compromise if you need to but I'm a big believer in if you have the same information you should make the same decision. And so if we don't agree on something, the first thing we usually say is what

information you work in off of. Which means that I have an incomplete data set compared to yours. And so then we share info rather than arguing. It's like, oh, hold on, what are you thinking about? And like, sometimes she's like, oh, what about this employee might take a, that? I'm like, that's a great point. Then think about that. Good call. Or sometimes I have something. You know what I mean? But loving logically in that, I think arranged marriages have, they've, I think they have higher. Significantly. And I think it's a combination of two things. One is low expectations. Second is high commitment. So if you define a successful marriage as one that does not break, which is not, it's a low bar, but at least it keeps you married, right? I don't think

Layla and I had huge expectations. Both of us weren't like planning on getting married. If anything, I was getting out of like a fiance thing. And when we met, I said, I'm not interested in anything long term. Like, I was like, I'm just like, I'm living life. And if you want to live it with me, you can. And so our dates, we hung out every day after that first date was, I'm working. all day. If you want to work next to me, cool. And so that's how our, like, that's how our quote dates were. I think something, just that in itself is very powerful.

Just enjoying being in someone's presence. Yeah. Even if you're not like entertaining one another or in date mode or whatever, like just liking, hey, I'm working. You know what? I like you just being there. Yeah. I think that in itself says a lot. And I'll give you my last one, because I don't know, I just gave a bunch of them. This is great, right. This is great.

I think three pieces and they're actually the same as they are with business. is that you want someone with aligned mission, aligned values, and similar tastes or lifestyle. So aligned mission is like, do we want to go to the same place? Right? And I've looked at a lot of past relationships. They wanted different things from life. And again, I want to, like, there's nothing wrong with that.

If you want different things, then awesome. Like, just go do what you want to do and try and fund somebody else who also wants to do that thing. And then that way you don't spend the rest of your life either resenting that person or compromising. Like, again, I'm not like a huge pro-marriage guy. I'm pro like do you and if there's somebody else that's doing them

and you can do that together I think that's great I mean men live 12 years longer on average who are married you want 12 more years there you go so one is aligned mission you want to go to the same place

the second is aligned values which is you want to get there the same way right it's like how are we going to choose to navigate how we're getting there and Layla and I share very similar values I think it was the first date I was talking about upsells and some business thing

and she was just parroting back to me like all the stuff that this business was doing. And I was like, so you see that? She was like, yeah. And I felt really seeing because I was like, I don't talk to anybody who thinks this stuff's interesting. And she was like, yeah, and then they do this.

That's how they get you, blah, blah, blah. And I think that that for me made me feel a lot less alone. Because I think a lot of times, I mean, probably a lot of guys and girls, like you feel very alone. I think if you can have someone who doesn't make you feel alone, that's a really big gift. because a lot of people are in relationships

where like when you go to sleep at night and a person's next to you, you're laying on the pillow, you're like, darn, there you go. See, I didn't curse. Like, what am I doing? Like, what's, like, and you feel more alone in that moment

than you were when you were alone or lonely, whatever the quip he's saying is. And so you want to have somebody who wants to get there the same way as you because I think if you have a shared experience of reality then you get to enjoy everything together. If you have a different experience, which is why like when people live lives together

and they live separate lives, I think one of the tough parts is like, if the lady is at home all the time and the guy's getting exposed to work stimuli all the time, you're going to adapt to the environment you're in. And if you're in different environments, like in the beginning, the opposite's attract part is what creates the chemistry. But if there isn't enough overlap, then it just fizzles because they're just two strangers. It doesn't actually make sense for them to be together because like, why would you just be with this random girl who's like, sure, maybe she's attractive. But then like, then what? Like, she's into completely different things than you. right? And it's like you have no shared interests, which is really the last one, which is like the

tastes and lifestyle and the things you enjoy doing. So it's like, we both like fitness. If I liked fitness and the person I dated didn't like fitness, that would be a big part of my life that I wouldn't really like the way I eat and the way it work out. Yeah. It's a big one. It's a big chunk, right? Like if I didn't have somebody who was into that, like that is a pain. Like that's just like now for me to be me, I actually, it's like a give on the other person. Like I have to ask for like there's all this time I'm not going to spend with you for the rest of our lives together because of this interest that I have. Yeah.

So, yeah. And I think with that one in particular, and I've seen this happen in other people's situations, is it can create resentment. Yes. Right? Because if you're someone who is training and you're looking after your body, you're minding what you eat, you're putting in all this effort, and you're with someone who just wants to sit there and eat trash and not exercise and not train and get out of shape

and the process. Yeah. And in the process of that leads to people getting out of shape and you know they're there and you're in good shape. and then, you know, your wife or girlfriend is kind of slowly ballooning up over the years. It creates resentment on both angles because you're like, hey, stop being a slob. Like, you know, you want to push them in that way, not in a mean way, but you want to, you want to encourage them.

And you do want them to look good. I'm sure you've seen situations where women want to, like, fatten up their men a little bit to kind of like keep. Oh, no, I don't want you. You're a little too ripped. You're looking a little too good, right? And it creates this very odd, it creates a very weird dynamic. So something like, you know, being into fitness might not seem on paper like, oh, this is something important.

But I actually think it is, I think it's very important. I think it's also important that I can see with you and her, you both have the self-improvement streak, right? If you're someone who's into self-improvement and you're with someone who is not, again, over time, that gap just grows. If you're just like, I'm getting better all the time, like I'm working, I'm trying to get better. I'm trying to level up, level up, level up. and the other person is just happy to just stay the same and just stagnate. Again, over time, it creates the shift. And I think it, I've seen that play out with other people.

I'm very observant of other people's relationships, whether it's successful or unsuccessful. I like to learn from it all. And then be like, okay, cool, I'm making notes on all this stuff, just like I do with other aspects of life. I think the growth one's huge. It is. Like arguably the biggest.

I mean, I think I'll give you an example. So if I had to name one trait about Layla that I, value the most, it's that she's coachable. And so she responds to feedback immediately and aggressively. And so earlier on when we're dating, if someone's laughing, they're like,

you're so stupid, ah, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, right? She used to say that. And I remember she said that to me, and I said, I don't like it when you say that. And maybe it was my own insecurities, maybe I identified being smart, whatever, whatever reason, right? And somebody could say,

hey, you should just work on that, Alex, you shouldn't project it on her, blah, blah, blah, whatever. It's a hell of a lot easier to just ask somebody to just not do this thing, right? And I remember telling her that. And to this day, she's never done it again. Yeah. And it wasn't like some big punishment or anything like that. It wasn't like some like, I was just like, can you know what I say it?

I was like, I don't like it when you say that. Yeah. And her speed to correct behavior is unlike anything. I mean, she's faster than I am. Like she can just once and just immediately, that's why I think she's such a good operator for our companies. But like, if you have somebody who can't, not take feedback and that's with that kind of growth perspective, that's tough because then you can't

orient yourselves with one another. And I think there's a difference in changing values versus changing a small behavior. You know what I mean? And it's also that thing you said before, like men do want respect. What men actually want is not talked about a lot in our society, right? I think we hear a lot about what women want. We don't hear a lot about like, it's true, right? There's a movie called that, right? Like, you don't hear a lot about like what men actually desire. And I think something like that, it's, you know, I don't think it's an ego thing. I think it's just a respecting, you know, even if it's a joke, right, saying, oh, you know, the stupid it's, and I also think if someone loves and respects you, then they don't want to disrespect you. Even if it's

something that seems like silly or frivolous or whatever, if someone, you said, hey, you know, I don't like when you do that. And they make a huge thing about it. To me, that would be like a red flag because I'm like, hey, I'm doing all this. You know, if you ask me, if you said, hey, you know, Zubi, this thing you're doing is like really bothering me or whatever. And it's like some very minor thing. I'll be like, okay, cool, no problem. Like, I'll cut that out because I love you. Yeah. Right. And I think the other way around, cool. Like, I love and respect to you. So, yeah. Like, why hang on to that thing? So Alex, man, I know you've been super generous with your time. So one last question before we close it out is for anyone who is out there who is

entrepreneur, curious. Right? One entrepreneur. Yeah, one entrepreneur. Anyone out there who is there, either they're in a, they're in a job already or they're just coming out of college or they're and going to college, whatever, lots of different situations. But for that guy or that gal who is just not sure of what to do, what should I do next, what should I do first, what would be your advice for that person? So I think you have to decide whether you want to make the work that you do right now, your main hustle, or make your main thing the side hustle and your side hustle the main hustle. Meaning if you're in a career that you enjoy and you just need to put your reps in,

then stop being distracted and go all in on that because not everyone is going to be an entrepreneur, right? It's definitely like glamorized right now. On the flip side, if you are like, I want to do this thing, I want to get into this entrepreneurial game, then you need to work really hard at your job because excellence is a trait. And then you also need to work really hard outside of your job. And people are like, well, then that means that you're asking me to sacrifice my family or you're asking me to sacrifice. Yes.

there's tradeoffs and there's seasons. And if you have zero to start, then you need to get the momentum and the momentum. You have to work double time. Like you have to do your normal job. Then you've got to work to get ahead. And so my kind of steps there is like, start the thing, start making money from the thing,

start making enough money that it replaces your current income. Do that for six months. And then at that point, you can get the rest of your time back and go all in on it. I think that's the safest bet to do it. To be clear, I did not do that. I saved up what I thought was a year and a half of living or maybe two years of living for me,

which was 50 grand, but then I spent that opening a gym. And then I had two months of rent left. And so I definitely went a little bit more do or die. And again, I've said before and I'll say again, I was lucky. I would not have advised myself to do that. I just think I got a one out of five shot night and it worked. Awesome, man. And Alex, where's the best place for people to find and follow you online?

Well, if your podcast, you have a podcast called The Game by Alex Ramozy or with Alex Ramozy. If type my name in, you'll find me. And if you're on the interwebs of YouTube and stuff, If you type my name in, Alex Formozy, you will find me. And if you're a company that does over a million or plus in profit, and you're looking for a minority party and help you grow or a majority exit, just go to Acquisition.com.

And we're happy to take a look at the company and see if we can know. Awesome. Alex Formosie, thanks for coming on the show, bro. It's been really good getting to know you and to finally have you on. I've been wanting to chat to talk for a lot. Hopefully, hopefully we've delivered. No doubt, man. 100%.

Appreciate you. Appreciate you.