The Game with Alex Hormozi - Why Being A High Growth Entrepreneur Can Be Lonely 😢 | Ep 86

Episode Date: November 22, 2018

"Most people don't grow straight up. Like most people don't grow. Most people don't innovate." Today, Alex (@AlexHormozi) discusses the loneliness that often comes with being an entrepreneur, particularly in the fitness industry. He explains how entrepreneurs are constantly growing and evolving, while most people remain stagnant, leading to a disconnect in relationships.Welcome to The Game w/Alex Hormozi, hosted by entrepreneur, founder, investor, author, public speaker, and content creator Alex Hormozi. On this podcast you’ll hear how to get more customers, make more profit per customer, how to keep them longer, and the many failures and lessons Alex has learned on his path from $100M to $1B in net worth.Timestamps:(0:51) - People resist change, causing loneliness for entrepreneurs.(3:46) - Most stay in comfort zones, avoid growth.(5:32) - High-growth entrepreneurs constantly evolve, unlike most.(7:13) - Loneliness ≠ being lonely, create an environment for help.(9:32) - It's okay to grow at a different pace.(11:00) - Don't force friendships, seek growth and new connections.Follow Alex Hormozi’s Socials:LinkedIn | Instagram | Facebook | YouTube | Twitter | Acquisition

Good morning. Happy Thursday. I hope you guys are having a good end of your week. And maybe you're listening this not on a Thursday. So I hope you're having a good whatever day it is for you. So I wanted to title this why being an entrepreneur is lonely. So I mean, the last episode or content piece or video or however you consume this was, you know, hardcore industry data, et cetera. And so I kind of wanted to balance that with something that I was thinking about this morning, actually. And it's probably best characterized by a story, which you may have heard, I think that's like half a year ago.

But when I came home from college when I was 19 or 20, I came home when I had, I went out to get lunch with my stepsister. He asked me. And when we were at the lunch at like the pizza place, what's up, Robin? She said, you know, she said like, well, don't you like this? Right? You always like this. And I was like, no, actually, I don't like that at all. Like, I actually feel strongly against that.

And from whatever she was saying. And she responded with, well, it's hard to keep track of you. You're constantly changing. And I remember that like really stung me a lot. Like as a, you know, as a first year back from college, it's like, I change. What is that supposed to be? Right. And so I kept like turning this over in my mind for like a week or two.

And so finally, it dawned on me that the words that she was using were not the words that I interpreted them as. She said, you are changing, and that is how the world will continue to see you. And unfortunately, because of the way that society brings everyone up, they want consistency, they want constant, right? They want things to be the same. And the world isn't the same. It changes. It grows, right? And so that's the real word, is that she didn't say, like, you're constantly growing.

or you're constantly evolving. She said you're constantly changing. And so it went from being a positive trait, which is how we as entrepreneurs see it growth, right, versus what most people see it as, which is just like you're not consistent, right? Like you're constantly changing. And so I just used that story to illustrate the concept.

But why being an entrepreneur is lonely is that inherently, and I think that fitness entrepreneurs have this even more so than anyone, is that like, and I think fitness is, really the gateway drug for a lot of entrepreneurs because the first thing that you start to improve is yourself, right? And so the first thing that you really think about is like physically, you're like, man, I feel like crap, I need to get in shape, right? And so you start going down that path. And what inevitably happens is, you know, you go through your own transformation. First, you acquire a whole bunch of information and you learn and you learn growth, right? And then you acquire new skill,

which is fitness related. You understand how to eat, you understand how to work out, et cetera. And you continue to grow in that aspect, right? And then you can, you learn. And then you get in shape. And then you have this great transformation and then people start asking you about it and then you want to share it with other people, right? And so then obviously you start getting into like, well, I need to start me, I need to feed myself. I want to do something that I'm passionate about. And this is the first real transformation a lot of people go through. And so it's the first thing that they really become passionate about it, which is fitness, right? And so like we as entrepreneurs started, or fitness entrepreneurs like start this path of personal growth

first with our bodies. And then we continue to hone our minds and get into, the business world, et cetera. The thing is, is that, like, the reason it's so hard to have friends, which is going to be the alternate title of this, like, why is it so hard to have friends, and why being an entrepreneur so lonely is that most people don't grow. Straight up. Like, most people don't grow. Most people don't innovate.

Most people live the same problems over and over and over again, and when you see them 10 years later, they're saying the same thing. They still hate their job. They still, you know, can't get along with their wife or whatever it is, right? they just like they're comfortable in their discomfort and I don't know if that's an entrepreneurial thing to be like like maybe maybe we're sometimes I'm like maybe I'm just a big weakling you know what I mean like I just have such low tolerance for for anything you don't I mean that's outside of like extreme comfort right and so it makes me not want to hang

you know what I mean with people who aren't constantly growing and so what it's up happening is that like your business forces you to grow like you have no choice if you own a business but to grow because if you don't grow, the business won't grow, right? And at some point you make that realization and you realize that the deficit in the business is a deficit and skill set that you no longer have, which is why the business is capped, right? And so, and I wanted to make this just because I want you guys to know, like, I don't have a lot of friends. Like, I have maybe, maybe two friends, maybe, right?

and I mean and like these are people that like I would say I have only one friend that I talk two friends that I talk to you on a weekly-ish basis right and none in person might you I don't have any in-per like real in-person friends and and it's I think it's okay I'm just I'm just telling you like just where like where I'm out with it like I think it's okay I think that like for like the reason that we're Layla and I are so pro entrepreneurs bringing their wives not wives well I'm a guy so your spouse is into the business Beth I see your own here so you know husbands into the business is that you were in this environment this high growth incubator which is what being an

entrepreneur is like you're just high growth you're acquiring skills acquiring skills solving problems solving problems and inevitably you grow right but if the person that you are with isn't exposed to that it's like you're constantly evolving over here and then they're doing the same thing. And I'm not saying it's impossible. I'm not saying that like your spouse has to be involved. I'm saying that the reason that we so strongly encourage it is because if you're both involved, then you're both in the incubator together and you can both keep growing. And that way you can grow together. Right. And so to go back to the title why being an entrepreneur is lonely is that most people, A, don't grow. And second,

if they do grow, people don't grow at the same rates. Right. Like I had entrepreneur friends when I got into the entrepreneur space who are still at the same level of business that they were when I met them. And in some ways, it's like awkward. You know what I mean? Not purposefully. It's not like I like, it's not like a, oh, you know, we're better. You're like, it's not like that. You know what I mean? It's just that like you're still dealing with the same things you were dealing with and haven't identified or confronted them or grown past them yet. And so you're just kind of in this like, well, I mean, it's pretty clear what you need to do. know what I mean? And so and and then it just kind of gets into this weird like, well, you know,

hope you handle that. And then you don't really talk again, right? And so, like, maybe it's like why being an entrepreneur and why being a high growth entrepreneur is lonely is that like you continue to evolve. Like the person, and that's why like you have to break, at least in my opinion, you have to break the concept of your identity because it's fluid. It's dynamic. You need to become whatever the business needs you to become for that next step. And so, um, I guess for those. Hey guys, real quick, if you're new to the podcast, I have a book on Amazon.

It's called $100 million offers that over $8,000 five-star reviews and it has almost a perfect score. You can get it for 99 cents on Kindle. The reason I bring it up is that I put over 1,000 hours in writing that book. And it's my biggest gift to our community.

So it's my very shameless way of trying to get you to like me more and ultimately make more dollars so that later on in your business career I can potentially partner with you. So that's my give. Go check it out, Amazon. Back to the show.

We were on here who, if you do feel lonely as an entrepreneur, one, I can say I feel at you. But second, I think there's different, there's difference between being alone and being lonely. And so maybe I should change the title, because I'm not lonely, but I am not with people really much at all. And I'm okay with that, you know. And if you have people who are in your business, who are growing with you, which is why sometimes like honestly when we had all of our executives fly out um for for our strategic meetups we had our

we had 11 11 of our directors fly out and then four of our the eAs came out to um to meet and kind of talk about the Q4 planning and things like that um it honestly felt like a family reunion because everyone who's in this company this is the environment that we created that we choreographed um they all are growth oriented i mean one of the poor tenants at gym launch, probably the one that is most frequently cited is grow or die. Right? And so they believe in that, just like we do. And so you can create your environment, and sometimes, like, family doesn't grow the way you do. You know what I mean? But, like, you have your blood ties and whatnot, but, like, sometimes they don't grow the way you do. And

sometimes that can be awkward. And I don't think that, like, I think there's lots of things that people can say, but sometimes you grow apart from family. I'm not saying that, you're not saying that I'm not saying that you dishonor them or you disrespect them or anything like that. I'm just saying that I think it's okay. I think it happens, you know, and it's the same thing with initial friendships. And when you get into this space, sometimes you grow faster than the other person does.

And that's okay, you know, it's just a fact of life. And so sometimes we beat ourselves up about this, like maybe I'm not social, maybe I'm whatever, you know, but sometimes the things that you need to do in order to grow or not even things that are conducive to, like, social stuff. Layla and I pretty much calculate everything that we eat for all meals of every day. So if we go out, it's kind of a pain because I like having my routine. You know what I mean?

From a food sample because that gives me attention back to folks on the business that I'm trying to grow up. Right. Like, Layla and I go to bed. Like, we're like in bed at 845. Like I'm out by like 9.15. Like, cold. Like I woke up this morning at 2.30. You know, like I only need like five hours of things.

And so I got a ton of stuff done in the first four hours of the day before 6 a. right um but if someone's like hey man like do you want to go to this concert with me you know it's like eight o'clock at night is when the concert starts like we just say no you know what i mean if someone wants to go to a restaurant and it's like 30 minutes away they want to do the reservation at 715 like i know that we're going to be done at you know 830 like maybe we'll do that one but that's probably we won't get served by until like eight we'll be done at 830 we drive back it's nine and then we like decompress whatever i don't know probably won't do it and And so if you feel it that way, like, I'm just here to kind of say, like, to show you, at least on our side, like, it's okay.

You know, like, you do what you have to do to grow you. And your environment will, like, you will change your environment according to that. And so, anyhow, this just felt like something that I, that, that I don't know if it's one person who needed to hear it. But like, it's okay. You know, it's okay to just be you. It's okay to grow. And it's okay to fall to fall apart from people. Like, it happens.

It's part of life. And being in this high growth environment that you are as an entrepreneur, constantly controlling variables, constantly trying to level up your skill set, constantly focusing on this child that you're trying to grow. Like, it's okay, you know, you're fine. And so, anyways, maybe that's someone who needed to hear that. But anyways, I love you guys. Like, I love this community so much. If you're new to this group, hello, welcome. This is less of one of the least tactical things.

that I've probably ever made, but I hope you found some value in it and maybe some peace about changes or relationships that you have going on in your life, and you're like, man, I wish I was still friends with that person. Maybe it's not that you wish you were still friends with that person, because the reality would mean is that you, because you don't actually wish you were the person who's still friends with that person.

You really wish that that person would have grown with you to be the friend that you need them to be now, right? Or the type of person that you want in your life now. And you can't force that on something. And so it just happens sometimes you go apart. But anyways, I hope you guys have an amazing week. And I hope you have an amazing day. And hope you crush all of your dreams and goals and that you grow relentlessly.

And that you outpace everyone, that you're lonely or a loan, A.F. And not lonely at all. Because you love your staff. You love your community and everything else. So anyways, have an awesome day. And I'll talk you soon.