The Gargle - Artemis | T Rex | Bed Sharing

Episode Date: November 25, 2022

Couples no longer sharing beds, rockets to the moon and T Rex's, all non-political and all in the news, with Alice Fraser, James Colley and AJ Lamarque.Produced by Laura Turner, Chris Skinner and Ped HunterTEAM BUGLE PODCASTS 📯Catharsis (and Tiny Revolutions) with Tiff StevensonTop Stories!The BugleThe Last Post with Alice FraserThe Bugle Ashes UrncastBush's Board Game Thing Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi, it's producer Chris from The Bugle here. Did you know that I have a new series of my podcast, Richie Firth Travel Hacker, out now? It's the show where Richie Firth and I talk about how to make travel better in our very special way. In this series, we discuss line bikes, Teslas, the London overground, and a whole bunch of other random stuff that possibly involves wheels

or tracks or engines of some variety. God, what a hot sell this is. I mean, you must be so excited. Listen now. ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Every sport has their big, juicy controversy. Boxing has the Mike Tyson ear bite.

Cycling has Lance Armstrong. Baseball has its steroid era. Curling has... Broomgate. It's a story of broken relationships, houses divided, corporate rivalry, and a performance-enhancing broom. It was a year I'd like to forget. Broomgate, available now. Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere.

Acast.com. This is a podcast from The Bugle. First of all, I will put on a simple kirtle with an apron and woolen hose with garters. My shift I would have likely worn to sleep in. I still keep that on. I'm but a simple medieval maiden and as all such do, I toil from dawn till dusk at making fires, getting and making food, cloth mending, preparing. Good day. I am very much like the weatherman in that show, Anchorman. And by weatherman, I mean Anchorman. The Anchorman of Anchorman.

The man who was bitten by a radioactive anchor and he got all the powers of an anchor. The front cover of this week's magazine is Scottish journeyman Jason Cummings who came on as a substitute for Australia in the football the other night during the World Cup in the shameful past. Sorry, it's pronounced Cutter. His nickname among his teammates is Cumdog and legitimate journalistic outlets are now having to deal with that. That's why he's our front cover model for this week.

The satirical cartoon this week is comedian Joe Lycett shredding 10,000 pounds in front of David Beckham and a cartoon sheikh representing Qatar. Qatar saying, sorry, we don't accept symbolic gestures in cash. Which, to be fair, you know, 1,000 pounds in real money doesn't really count as real money anymore because the pound has been so devalued but even if they had been real who uses cash sorry joe i'm a massive fan of yours and a colleague but also i'm just going

to venmo 10 000 pounds into the void and i feel like that's more effective um there was a beautiful moment on Australian television in the past week on a show called The Project, which does news differently, in which someone, they mentioned this stunt and one of the presenters got very outraged at the idea, being like, who's that idiot? Why is he even bothering to do this?

What a dumb thing? And they went, well, he's a comedian. He's like, oh, well, then I support him. This is a great move i love it well also it wasn't real money uh as joe had to come out and say it was uh it was real money that went into the shredder it was not real money that came out of the shredder and he didn't by that mean the trick of it has it stopped being real money it was a trick shredder um and he'd already donated the £10,000 to various LGBTQ plus charities. Oh, okay.

So because I'm following this from across an ocean, I haven't been across all the details of it. So I think like the donation itself, the publicity stunt and all that seems totally fine to me, but I cannot abide close-up magic. We have to have some kind of standards from our performers. Well, I think the real problem for me is not that he shredded £10,000 but that he didn't shred £10,000 because I don't like being lied to. Yeah, sure, it would be a horrifying waste of money

but I'd rather a horrifying waste of money than a little trick. Also, the amount that David Beckham was being paid was something in the multi-millions, right? I mean, if I was David Beckham, 10K wouldn't cut it for me. You're like, blink twice and it's gone. I would have taken the magic shredder. I mean, 10K is what Victoria Beckham pays for an earring, which she then shreds.

Just the one. Just the one. an earring, which she then threads. Just the one. Just the one. Now our top story for this week is the Artemis spacecraft landing on the moon, the reopening of the chapter in human history of us going and hanging out on the moon. In celebration, we've launched a second verse to the Twinkle,

Twinkle Little Star song that goes, celebration, we've launched a second verse to the Twinkle Twinkle Little Star song that goes, glowy, glowy little moon, how I hope to see you soon. Great big rock up in the air. I wonder who put you up there, et cetera. Coward, coward. Glowy, glowy little moon, how I hope to see you soon. I am just reusing material that I made up for my baby. Now that's just what's happening in my comedy.

You're going to start jingling your keys at the start of every gargle episode. Second half of this podcast is just, ah, boo, ah, boo. Your next solo show involves an interval where you'll change everybody's diapers and give them a good burping. James, you've been to space. Can you unpack this story for us? Yeah. So there was some part of this story that has really troubled me. So this is, the Artemis rocket is the world's largest ever rocket. And it's the first time in decades, we have sent a satellite to uh observe the moon unfortunately that means we can only come to one conclusion uh the thriving of the spaceways is inextricably linked with the

number of nazis in america the more nazis the better the rockets go like in the 1950s and 60s can chock a block with nazis we're going to the moon baby right now some nazis unmanned missions with plans for both more nazis and missions in the future that's why nasa talks about the space race you know that means white people in nasa terms right that's what they're saying the space race is white people well i feel like nazis are inherently drawn to the concept of choosing who gets to breathe and how much but aj are you excited about uh moon life i am but to be honest the thing about this that really intrigued me was i got a bit jealous um and a bit pessimistic in my natural nature so a part of this is unmanned so they had mannequins and they put them up with all sensors to see how you know the mannequin was responding to you know the temperature and the air pressure and, you

know, the overall levels of cancer-inducing radiation. But I know at 100, 200 years time, when SpaceX teams up with Ryanair, they'll be sitting around going, I wonder how much an economy passenger to the moon needs in oxygen. Like, could they stand the entire time? Can we fill it in with as many people as possible? They care more for a mannequin than they will in the future. And I'm just infinitely jealous because we've all done an easy jet flight. I mean, Elon Musk has explicitly said as a way of democratising access to Mars that it won't just be rich people who get to go to Mars, but people will be allowed. Very kindly'll he's allowed people suggested that he will

allow people to enter in indentured servitude and thereby pay their way to Mars colony I just feel like he and I read the same sci-fi but we have different opinions about who are the villains yeah but it's the same logic when they're like you know we'll let poor people into rich neighborhoods except they drive the bus and then they'll return on that bus and leave again technically it's there but it's again yes as you say a very different interpretation i can understand some part of this because like what we're doing here is a return to the early 60s in every sense of the word. So politically, it should also move back to the early 60s.

This mission has the same kind of rustic charm as cooking over a campfire or contracting polio. If we're throwing it back, let's throw it back. I reckon Elon Musk must have the best job in the world world and i don't mean leading twitter or any of these things i mean just going on pedal shows and making up things that you absolutely do not have to back up just be like in 15 years i reckon everyone's gonna piss out their mouths prove me wrong idiot but i think my favorite thing over to the 60s people love images when it comes to space and it's fun and it analyzes stuff but all of the images say rocket not to scale because the rocket's about half the size of the earth and people who were reading these science articles

just needed a little bit of assurance that the cartoon of showing the rocket going around the earth wasn't in fact the size of South America. I think we would have noticed that, but sure. Do you know who absolutely in this story is too big for their boots and needs to be taken down a peg? The guy who does NASA rocket countdown stuff. Because, like, you know, it's the best job. Like, T-minus-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1, blast off.

Like, or lift off, we have lift off. Those are the classics, right? We all know these ones. He went, we rise together back to the moon and beyond. Which, easy, like, lift off would do. But also, beyond not, you're orbiting the moon and then you're coming back. It's like, hey, I'm not just taking you to McDonald's, baby. We're going to the car park behind McDonald's.

Oh, I like it, though. It's giving opportunity to future Tannoy announcers. You know what I mean? It's like the open mic version of that. It's like you could just get up there and do the job. It's like, no, but I've got a good riff. Let me do it. Let me do it.

Oh, yeah. I've got a spin on the number five. I love a public transport Tannoy who's getting too big for their boots. I love a bus driver trying to tell a joke on the way home. Like, I just... Nothing like a train announcement where they've got a bit of a riff going on. It's my favourite thing. That would be fantastic, because if they were like,

strap in, folks, because this thing rockets along and then it burns up and everyone's happy your ad section now because you can't be what you can't buy and uh this episode of the podcast is brought to you by pete davidson smell uh because i assume that man smells f***ing amazing. And this episode of the podcast is brought to you by Reflexive Defensiveness. But actually, it's my upbringing. I didn't do it on purpose, so you can't really blame me.

Reflexive Defensiveness. Deploy it subconsciously today. And are you an extremely very rich person? You need a subscription laurel wreath slave. Remember how in Roman times there was a slave and then if there was like a triumph, they'd be standing behind the guy? Sorry, no, I don't remember how in Roman times. I was not there, Alice. James, that's the joke.

Remember how you read that in Roman times there was a slave who during a triumph would hold a laurel wreath above the head of the victorious triumphant dude standing behind him but always whispering memento mori or remember you are mortal. What you need is for a small monthly cost a subscription service for that guy.

That guy will stand behind you with a copy of Forbes 500 and tell you you're a f***head. And in the premium service, if you hit on one of your employees, he'll deploy a strategic half glass of cold water down your butt crack until the blood returns to your brain and you can spell hashtag me too again. ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Every sport has their big, juicy controversy.

Boxing has the Mike Tyson ear bite. Cycling has Lance Armstrong. Baseball has its steroid era. Curling has... Broomgate. It's a story of broken relationships, houses divided, corporate rivalry, and a performance-enhancing broom. It was a year I'd like to forget. Broomgate. Available now.

ACAST helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts. Everywhere. ACAST.com If you could do a triumph, what level of personal thing would you have to achieve? Because it's a big outlay. It's like, let's say it's about the same cost as a wedding. What would you have? If you had a good run at Melbourne,

are you having a triumph afterwards? First of all, I don't think that anyone should spend that much money on a wedding. I think it should all be personal triumphs that you get that for. It's where two triumphs meet is a wedding. Yeah. If you happen to be on the same street as another triumph,

that's, I mean, you've got a 50-50 chance. I have such a low bar for personal triumph, but I have a friend who is a coder and if he does a piece of clever code he will stand up and go i am a golden god i love it i love can i tell you one that i was i was very proud of that um i wrote like a joke for it's it was for a gruel and i can tell you it because it didn't make it air. So anyone who doesn't know what to show about advertising, and we're talking about how plastic bottles that are dyed blue to look fresher cost more.

And we wrote a joke about, a very funny jellyfish joke, about how if you see a blue bottle, you're going to get stung. And I thought that joke was so good i mentioned in rehearsal uh to the host of the show that i really love that joke and i took an hour off after writing it and he said it during the live show record and it died harder than any joke ever it wasn't even a polite smattering of laugh it went stone cold dead and then he stopped the record to let everyone know the head writer of the show told me he was so happy with that joke he took an hour off that he stared down the camera and said my name my version of that was uh i got invited to play dnd um in a live

game for pride month a couple of years ago so i got to play dnd with one of the original game designers for dungeonsgeons & Dragons. And as a nerd, I was like, well, this is amazing. Great game. He followed me on Twitter, said it was great. Like, big-headed. Except no one around me in my community knew who Jeremy Crawford was and or D&D.

And so I was like, I've done this really cool thing and I'm very proud. And they're like, that's lovely, darling. More tea. Now it's time for our raising the dead news section. This is the story that Christie's, the famous auction house, Christie's has been forced to call off a 20 million pound auction of a Tyrannosaurus Rex after suspicions were raised that it might be very similar to a previous sale of a Tyrannosaurus Rex. I love this story because I didn't know there was a Rex market. AJ, you have seen a lot of bones.

Can you unpack this story for us? The rumours are true. But yes, you have heard of Jurassic Park. Now get ready for very niche archaeological drama by aj la park um which irks me about the film it should be called the late cretaceous park if it's got a t-rex in it but hollywood it's not as fancy i get it but yeah t-rex bones original t-rex bones are quite rare um and so there was one back in the day that sold for the biggest amount ever had the most original bones out of all of them, called Stan.

And then this new one came along to kind of outdo it. And the new one was called Shen. This is what the Eminem song Stan is about, right? It's this debate. Yeah, exactly. Eminem based his song off this T-Rex. Because it's very hard to write back to your fans when you have little tiny arms.

Oh, I love the arms. I mean, as a gay man, I feel represented. I feel... Look at those little swish on the wrists as well, and the legs, they mint. T-Rexes mint. Also the information that they would have had feathers. Oh, gosh.

Just a feather boa, little m mints you know enough enough campness to make louis spence spin in his rhinestone bed physically incapable of giving a reach around so just that's why they're always angry but basically yeah and they were selling this they were going to sell it and it was like the hottest goss in the archaeological world, and then a paleontologist was like, this looks suspiciously close to the other T-Rex dinosaur. And then the seller of the T-Rex dinosaur, the Shen one, was like, actually, we're going to take it off sale now, and I'm just going to go donate it. Which is kind of, like, just a suspicious, like, put a fake moustache on and pretend you're not a villain anymore like

that'll do it i'll just hide the figure no one will know i've copied this t-rex um plus he probably got a lot of money through tax reductions on donating a 20 million dollar worth t-rex in the first place i feel like he's still got some money out of it the 10 year old in me we're thrilled to know that you can buy dinosaurs i was like oh my god why am i saving for a house deposit let's let's get us a t-rex baby let's dinosaur this thing up um then i found out that t-rex so i say t-rex i'm a busy man i don't have time to say tyrannosaurus rex so i just say t-rex because it saves time so if i say t-rex what i mean is tyrannosaurus rex but i do not have time to say tyrranosaurus rex so i'm saying t-rex to save us some time okay so this t-rex which is short for tyranosaurus when you say t-shirt yeah tyranosaurus

shirt i don't have time to put on a tyranosaurus shirt which is so hard to get my little arms in so i have to reduce it and say t-shirt t-rex this t-rex skeleton is about 25 million dollars uh in australian terms so to25 million in Australian terms. So to put that in UK terms, it's about one eighth as much as a precious ruby that belongs to the Indian people. But this math opens up some great options. So turns out for the cost of buying Twitter,

you could get 1,760 T-Rex skeletons. Now, is that a good purchase? Is it a smart business case? No. But is Twitter? Also no. And at least in this case, you have most of, if not all, the T-Rexes, and that's much cooler than having most of, if not all,

the vile opinions in the world in your magic bombs. The thing that petrifies me about that though it's just like so essentially it's it's it's something it's dead body right like and if i if in a million years time someone wants to dig up my dead body would i rather my dead body be exhibited so school groups could gawk and or at it in public spaces or would i rather be kind of a crude oil that like kind of fuels some fiat punto doing a mackers run either way i'm not exactly content with what's happening to my body the afterlife so it's quite morbid if you think about the whole story and now it's time for your reviews section

as you know each week we ask our guest editors to bring in something to review out of five stars james what have you brought in for us this week? I'm trying out grief this week. I'd say, like, at first you think, oh, I'm probably going to hate it, but it's convenient, goes with you everywhere, goes with everything. There are times when you get worried that you've left it behind,

but oh no, there it is, it's still there with you. But despite this convenience, it's still very bad you uh but despite this convenience still very bad so i'm gonna have to give that zero stars which i understand it will be grieving enjoy a taste of your own medicine i have brought in um people who stand in front of the train doors as the train doors open and do not have an understanding of physics that you need to pass through onto the platform in order to get off the train for said people to get onto the train. I am not a particular fan. I use trains a lot. I stand.

And I'm not quite a confrontational person either. And it's the one few times in my life that I get very, like, verbally outward aggressive. I'll often clap and I'll shush people out the way. I learned that from, like, living in China. Like, you just barge through whatever you do. And I kind of respect that attitude. That's how my nan taught me. And so, now I have that attitude in Australia, a very polite society. And they're standing there. I'm like, move. And i usher people out of the way and it's the biggest diva moment i have besides being a dinosaur um and i'm gonna give it three stars mostly because i enjoy shushing people one of my most dad moments so far was having like carrying the pram with my daughter in it down some stairs. There were some teens in the way, and I was like, hey, hey, and they didn't move, so I just let out an aggressive whistle of like,

and like, it's the most, I'm not doing it because it's, to get whistled in your ear is horrible, but it was the most, I was like, well, that was inside me all along, as if I was herding some sheep. Didn't know I had that, you know. Mums in danger can lift cars. Dads in danger can whistle real real loud well i had this thing but i was trying to train myself because i've got this automatic reaction

like if i'm walking down the street and someone bumps into me i'll say sorry i feel like a lot of people can like is are in the same boat as me you'll automatically say sorry you haven't done anything wrong and then to try and unlearn that i would take it back afterwards and verbally say so i've walked down the street so i'll bump into me i'll be like sorry actually i'm not sorry and continue walking down and it kind of worked it confused people i i had this yeah man because i was this sounds much more mentally healthy to me but because i was slightly nervous doing it i had this weird kind of not a hundred percent confidence in myself so i was like no i'm actually not sorry um i'm just hitting

every kind of note i could in a relative range in the very small amount of syllables that i had they thought they'd had a minor collision they got a whole theater show i love it aj walks through life like the youngest kid in a sitcom that they always are like okay you're going to express an emotion but it's got to come through three minutes of oh no everything's okay i'm actually mad at you i'm sorry no actually i'm not sorry thank you for being part of the audience just uh thank you for coming out supporting live comedy thank you for being part of the audience. Thank you for coming out and supporting live comedy. Thank you for participating in my arc. Now it's time for our bed section for, yeah.

This is the news that couples apparently are opting for separate beds and that this is sort of a moral scandal that is happening, a bit of a panic about a couple sleeping in separate beds. James Colley, you and your wife sleep in separate palaces. Can you unpack this story for us? Okay, but I have to keep it down in case she hears from her palace. Well, this is a real scandal that couples are opting to sleep in separate rooms because I'm not sure if you've

noticed but there are too few people in the world and we need to get breeding we have so many resources and so few people to take them up um the times ran this story uh with the headline couples opt for separate rooms and less ooh la la and i would like to say no thank you i think ooh la la might be the most disgusting way to ever refer to sex i would rather have my parents take me on a play-by-play through my own conception than hear anyone say the words ooh la la uh so this is based on a french study hence hence the ooh-la-lahs. It is 10% of cohabiting couples sleep in different rooms, and a further 6%, and I love this quote,

would like to, but fear the consequences. And to me, that speaks to this 6% seems to confirm a theory I have about both this, separate bed couples, and I think it also applies to open relationships um which is that in the vast majority of cases in almost every case there is no physical way you both had this idea at the same time there is no way it is that one person was like oh i think we should try this and the other one's like what, what? Oh, yeah. No, no, no. Yeah.

No, I've actually been thinking you should bang Ryan from the office. That would be fantastic for us both. See, I love this whole study was based in French as well. Like, it's all about the France way of living. So I discovered today, apparently, that if I'm in a married relationship, not sleeping in the same bed as my partner in France,

technically, I'm just in a sparkling de facto relationship. But also, like, it's a very French thing to overthrow the monarchy. That's like quintessentially their thing. But I feel like very triggered on behalf of the French people when they must go shopping for beds, when they have to pick either between a king or a queen it must just freak them out i think what makes it seem unbelievably sad is that every french person seems to speak in smith's lyrics like this is the psychotherapist they interview in this is a man named pascal anger and we don't even have

time to stop and dwell on the name pascal anger t-rex busy man we have to keep going it's his quotes are and imagine morrissey saying that it is not so natural to sleep with another person when you ask people if they feel good at night they shrug and say not as good as all that. What are you talking about, my guy? Don't look back in Pascal anger. We did have time for that one. Sorry. No, I love all of these articles. I think it's like the academic elite read something and discover that poor people have opinions and autonomy.

It's kind of like we've heard that some people don't want to sleep in bed with each other we must investigate this pandemic it's like quiet quitting as well when they were like some people don't want to work all the time for minimum pay this is baffling quick send our best sociologists out there to understand how these creatures live maybe collect samples or something it does it does have the feel of one of those studies where someone was like, yeah, they'll get us some grant money. All right, cool. See you at the pub.

This is also what, I mean, sleeping in the same bed as your partner is not about feeling good. It's about building semi-conscious resentments of their unconscious behaviours that will spill over into your daytime relationship. Someone's doing the dishes wrong and you're like, f*** the way you breathe. Like, that's what you want. Half the fights in my relationship are about the shit I pull

in other people's dreams. I think this is all just an undercover evil capitalist plot to be honest if more people are sleeping in different beds you have to buy more beds and therefore the sale is always on at DFS and it justifies it that's what the long and short of it is this is just the DFS agenda bunk beds bring back bunk beds So one part of this study, one part of this one that really stuck with me, right, was that they keep using these quotes, which is like the tradition of bed sharing is cultural, not natural, which is true.

It is cultural, not natural. I would say the tradition of beds is also cultural, not natural. Some things that are cultural are good not beating being eaten by a leopard is cultural not natural living past 30 is cultural not natural it's why we build cultures they're good for us and they're good for yoga and i've always said that now it is time for our crypto news oh man it's been a couple of great weeks in crypto, by which I mean a couple of terrible weeks for crypto, but great weeks for people who've always said that crypto was going to fall apart.

It's like that mother-in-law who's just always been skeptical of your relationship and now you're talking about the complete collapse of all of the value of your relationship. This is the news of Sam Bankman-Fried and FTX. They've just had the day one of their bankruptcy hearing come to an end as they destabilize the entirety of the crypto market, which is to say the entirety of the illusion that money is real. AJ, you traded in things that aren't real. Can you unpack this story a little for us?

I've not been across crypto most of my life. I'm always behind on the things. I'm always like, I've still got to watch Breaking Bad. It's like it's getting up there at the top of my to do list. I'll watch it soon. I've heard it's great. But also part of this as well is he really wanted to apologize to his past employees. So he got a current employee to go on to Slack and post an apology letter which i find was quite interesting like i've not really wanted to communicate with places i've left before uh let alone get an employee to smuggle in a letter most freaking millennial fraud case i have ever seen like there's there's a tweet thread that's like yes hey guys i got some things to get off my chest

uh billions of dollars of theft and fraud. It's truly astonishing. He had a late night DM session with a Vox journalist where he spilled all the beans about his philanthropic rhetoric being entirely confected. I cannot believe how cringy it is now to have emojis on Bernie Madoff. I would like the FEC to please note that when these events occurred, I was a very small bean and my anxiety was acting up that day. Therefore, these are mitigating circumstances. I was thinking about Enron and I kind of had a panic

and then I went out and did a calm ice bath, a bit of yoga, and I feel that we should just reset and know our boundaries now. My bad. Okay? Okay? My bad, guys, but it all sort of crept up on me. Can we take a break so we can smudge the courtroom?

We need to smudge. There's a lot of toxic energy in here. Sorry, Your Honour, I've got your wig slightly alight it is so funny to lose this much money and to do it all this badly and then have your responses behind oh so you're so perfect then oh okay so you've never made a mistake well so in the 1930s they invented keeping deposit holders cash away from investment banking. And the crypto guys cannot f***ing do it. They cannot do it because I think because they don't really think it's real money.

So it can sort of move around in a way that I find just genuinely wild. It's like they're trying to destabilize our ideas of money. That's the whole thing. they're trying to destabilise our ideas of money, that's the whole thing, the entrepreneurial disruption of all of the bad, you know, inefficient markets and all of the terrible things that the finance markets have done up until now and all of these financial institutions that are so, like, hidebound.

Sure, we get rid of those, but do you have to hit every twig on the way down? Like, if they are making every single mistake that has ever been made that has led to the invention of regulation exactly that's it it's that regulation exists because someone tried every crime before you it's that someone has gone off the road at every point until we're like you know what let's fence the whole thing like that's what regulation and do you know what part has really stuck with me on this it is that like that persistent rumor that um that the people involved with this were living in a polycule now i don't i don't want to be judgmental about that it perhaps that works for

you but uh i beg of you if you are in a polycule if you're a voting member of a polycule do not try any business model more complicated than a circus you're very good at circuses you're circus folk it's okay to be circus folk it's great to be circus folk we need circuses but i have never been at a circus and thought gee i wonder if any of these guys could do my taxes i look i i just i can't build up sympathy for the people who lost their money in this i mean maybe if somebody else was investing money on your behalf and then you lost your money that I can have some sympathy for you. But if you willingly invested money with Sam Bankman-Fried, I just, even if you lost billions of dollars,

an investor once advised him that FTX should have a board, you know, a board, the thing that businesses have. And his official response was, go f*** yourself if you give that guy money. Being caught up in a crypto crash is like being killed by a cow. Like, it happens to people every year, and I'm sorry, but the tragedy and the comedy are right neck and neck there,

and you can't expect me to ignore one of them. The finalisation of this court case, though, won't be about the bankruptcy. It will be about whether Sam gets to keep the double-barrel name of Bankman, considering he's done a very bad job at being the Bankman. I mean, his basic excuse, and I've said this before, was that he collateralised his debt it he he collateralized his debt with money he had made up and his only justification for that was that he really believed in the money he'd made up i am switching sides this guy's rules this is the best this is

that's so good so this reminds me the best scam i have ever seen pulled off in my life was at the school canteen when a kid from the first grade asked for a king's ransom of food and then slapped down a $500 Monopoly note and was out the door before anyone realized what has happened. This is the same plan on an international scale. This guy rocks. I'm on his team now. I'm joining the polycule. Let me in. Well, this is going back to our previous conversation this is just the ultimate triumph i triumphed so hard i backed myself a new currency

yeah this is why you need the memento mori guy just like chill dude it's so funny if you follow me i'll be like, crypto ain't real, it's really not real. Buy something that isn't a gun, drug or porn and we'll chat. Even real money isn't real, Don. You can't build unreal on unreal. It's like fan fiction about fan fiction. It doesn't work. That's all the time we have for this show this week. I'm paging through the ads at the back.

Flippity, flippity, flip. AJ, have you got anything to plug? I'm always doing something the ads at the back. Flippity, flippity, flip. AJ, have you got anything to plug? I'm always doing something online on Instagram or TikTok. I'll be doing a new season of my podcast, Floof, with AJ Lamarck for the new year. It's basically I get someone on each episode. They have a specialist area that they just love or they know a lot about or they're very interested in

and they just get to talk about their heart's desire. You can jump online and see previous episodes uh they're always fun and james what have you got to plug if you are in australia question everything is on abc on wednesday nights and iview whenever you want if you're not in australia you can't access it so go f**k yourself i'm alice fraser find me online at twitter and instagram at a-l-I-T-E-R-A-T-I-V-E I'm also on Patreon patreon.com slash Alice Fraser

it's a one stop shop for all of my stand up specials podcasts and blogs as well as my weekly Tea with Alice salons and I also do writers meetings if you sign up

to my Patreon you get access to all of my stand up specials for free if that's something that you're interested in I'm going to do

a bit of a push towards Christmas to try and afford presents for my baby. This is a Bugle Podcast and Alice Fraser production. Your editor is Laura Frances Turner. Your producer is Chris Skinner. I will talk to you again next week.