The Gargle - Cake Fake Granny | Email | Jubilee

Episode Date: June 2, 2022

Alice is joined by Tom Neenan and Pippa Evans in a desperate attempt to avoid being political. In the news; Jubilee, crypto, mad Science. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi, it's producer Chris from The Bugle here. Did you know that I have a new series of my podcast, Richie Firth Travel Hacker, out now? It's the show where Richie Firth and I talk about how to make travel better in our very special way. In this series, we discuss line bikes, Teslas, the London overground, and a whole bunch of other random stuff that possibly involves wheels

or tracks or engines of some variety. God, what a hot sell this is. I mean, you must be so excited. Listen now. ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Every sport has their big, juicy controversy. Boxing has the Mike Tyson ear bite.

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Acast.com. This is a podcast from The Bugle. This is The Gargle, the sonic glossy magazine to the Bugles audio newspaper for Visual World. This is the podcast, all of the news, none of the politics. I'm your host, Alice Fraser, and your guest editors for this week's edition of the magazine are Tom Neenan and Pippa Evans. Welcome. Hello. How are you feeling?

Oh, just thrilled. You look thrilled. I can see Pippa and she looks absolutely thrilled. I can see, Kevin, she looks absolutely thrilled. I'm wondering whether we will take hands together and leap trustful style into the body of this week's magazine, but first we'll have a look at the front cover. This week the front cover is the Queen posing with her platinum jubblies out at a very saucy angle. The satirical

cartoon this week is a classroom of children doing an active shooter drill while the ghost of George Washington stands to one side looking confused and the ghost of a man in a cowboy hat says it's what you would have wanted. That is our top story for this week. Let's start with the Jubilee celebrations. Your favourite Jubilee celebrations, if you have any. My favourite is that the Queen has a pub. She's opening a pub in Norfolk at her Sandringham estate. It's a gastropub, of course, because you don't want anything shoddy for the Queen. It's going to be exciting.

You can go and have a drink, I guess, adjacent to the Queen. I don't think she promises to sort of come in pub landlord style and sling drinks around. But, you know, if you want to be somewhere that's owned by the Queen apart from everywhere else in the country. Isn't it currently up for, it's not actually a pub yet. I don't want your listeners all like zooming off to Norfolk because it's up for rent.

So actually what we have here is the potential to be the owner of the Queen's Pub, but it is currently a working men's flat top club, isn't it, replete with corner sofas and all mod cons, including four-micro tables. So if it was up to me, I probably wouldn't do any adjustments, actually. I would keep it as is and get a recording of the Queen saying, get out of one's pub. It's a bit Jubilee fun.

Sounds ideal. Not to be too political, but obviously now, thanks to Brexit, we've got crowns on our pint glasses again. And I hope that the Queen's pub will have literal crowns as well on the pint glasses, as it should be. I mean, yes, it's difficult to steer out of politics in this Jubilee celebrations, but it's not political to love the Queen, is it?

Yes. It's a choice. As the young people say, it's a choice. I enjoy the Jubilee celebrations because they all seem so elaborate and pointless. I was reading up on the parade because somebody sent me a link because apparently there's a bunch of pensioners riding their own mobility scooters dressed as flamingos.

And, of course, then every single Google listener sent it to me a million times. It's just sort of an 18-foot statue of a hand waving majestically to represent British patronisation, but it's manned by left-handed children from Cornwall. Like, I don't understand the amount of effort that's going in for the Queen, who will stand on her balcony, presumably, and just think she's having a nervous breakdown. But also, they have all that, right?

They'll have all that parade and everything. People just cheer and wave their flags. But in local areas, the most we can do is put a table out with some sandwiches on we've still not got over the street party we're like what are we gonna do oh let's go back to 1956 and do what we did back then we've never managed to to beat the street party which might sort of explain the state of britain right now it's the uk's simper palooza it's us just all massively simping over the queen my favorite thing i saw i don't know if you've seen this in m&s they're they're selling this like jubilee sandwich that's the grim item if

ever i saw one it is it's a ham and egg sandwich and it the inside is a whole egg so like a whole sort of semi half-boiled egg and it looks grim but the only i don't know what that's got to do with the jubilee because the only queen i know who's associated with eggs is the one from aliens so like i don't know what that's got to do with it but it's an impressive thing i don't know if we can if we can put you know an image of that on the socials, but it's... Can you describe it a bit more? Because I can't in my head picture a whole egg in a sandwich. Do you mean like it's not sliced? Is it sliced?

You are correct. You cannot. It doesn't make sense. It is a... So each... You know the classic triangle cut sandwich that you get in supermarket? The classic, yeah. The classic.

So what they've done is you've got half an egg in one of the triangles and half an egg in the supermarket. The classic. So what they've done is you've got half an egg in one of the triangles and half an egg in the other. So it sort of looks like a horrible yolky yin-yang kind of when it's in the packet. Now we are going into our Jubilee Game of Shame

subsection, a twinge of cringe. Which cringingly royalist thing is which public figure going to do to celebrate the Jubilee? Match one of Boris Johnson, Elton John, Jacob Rees-Mogg, Keir Starmer or Piers Morgan to the following possible activities of great queenly arse-lickingness. One of them will write a love song about the Queen and ambush a formal event to serenade her with it.

Hint, it's not Elton John. One will do some sort of ambivalent poem about the power of the people being laid at her feet but also under her wings. The poem will mention the Queen's hot breath and be upsettingly erotic. One of them will have a public tantrum about not wanting to have Charles as the next monarch, like when the babysitter arrives but the parents haven't left yet. And one will climb up to the royal balcony,

Romeo style, to offer a flower to Her Majesty. So please send in your answers to at HelloGogglers on Twitter and you will get some sort of reward, possibly just an internal reward. I come from Australia where the last, when the Queen came at one point, somebody said, I did but see her passing by and yet i'll love her till i die and everyone in australia immediately prolapsed so embarrassing just oh because how oh oh god and like you could just imagine him like rioting. The worst.

Before sporting events, we regularly just sort of beg God to not kill her. Like that is, I think in terms of sort of, you know, being quite sycophantic, that takes some beating. Oh, yeah. But like Robert Menzies. Yeah. No, I think it was the worst thing that's ever happened in Australia. There's been a lot of bad things that have happened in Australia. Do either of you have a favourite Jubilee bit?

Well, no, I just wanted to point out my accidental Jubilee tribute, which is that because I'm very pregnant, my hair's growing really fast, which I didn't know was a thing. So I used to have a very short pixie haircut, and now I have this haircut. And an American man at a station said to me, I like your Princess Diana haircut. And I was like, what?

I was not happy. And I said, well, she was the people's princess. And then I was at a car boot sale, and I found, well, she was the people's princess. And then I was at a car boot sale and I found this can, a Prince Charles can, which I'm sure I can put a picture somewhere. And you will see, I have actually almost completely matched Princess Diana just in time for the Jubilee. Oh, my God. If you turned up, if you turned up in the Queen's bedroom.

Is this your audition to be cast in the queen's bedroom is this your audition to be like is this your audition to be cast there were three of us in our relationship but isn't that amazing so so there you go and what a way to sort of politely um poke a stick at the queen on the jubilee by impersonating her least favorite daughter-in-law you should turn up in the palace and just go why why i think we'd have a jubilee and a state funeral in the same same weekend if you did that well at least it's all set up you know because because a lot of the complaints about the jubilee has been the amount of money but if she could time the end of her reign well the parade would be ready

that big that big we'd have to somehow make that big hand a bit more solemn yes my baby has just today learned to wave and the way that she waves is exactly like the queen waves in this sort of elegant roundy way lovely so there you go the queen waves like a baby or my baby waves like the queen i don't know which chicken or there's a chicken or the egg situation and the eggs in a horrible but the queen has been eclipsed in achievement by a 103 year old swedish woman who has set the record for being the world's oldest parachuter tom nean you have the urge to fling yourself off things sometimes can you unpack this story for us um i think god bless her um i i don't know so obviously there's

a weird thing where we started the um the olympic celebrations with uh with the queen parachuting uh into the the olympics uh i i'm not sure it was her but i um you know i like to i like to pretend anyway. So, yeah. You were sure enough that if you were Rowan at Continental Movie, you'd probably punch her in the face. Exactly. And it would be hilarious.

But, yeah, so this lady, 103-year-old, I'm going to say Rut Larson. Is that her name? Am I pronouncing that right? Is it sort of like Ruth? I feel like you need to put a British person trying to do something else accent on. So it's like a Ruth. Ruth? Larsen.

Larsen. And she's been labelled a Swedish daredevil because I literally think she's daring the devil not to take her soul every time that she jumps out of a plane. But yeah, so she completed this jump in Matala in Sweden. And

you know, I think good on her. It's the kind of thing that everyone says oh, if I ever get to like 90, I'm going to do heroin and I'm going to do all this stuff because I may as well enjoy myself. I think she's actually living that now. I think that she might be also i don't know chasing the horse chasing the dragon

do it i thought but i don't know this i haven't got this for a fact i'm just assuming she's now living life to the fullest she'll probably outlive us all i mean this is this is all well and good and very impressive and all that given that she's 103 years old and like lifting a teacup to your lips is very impressive but this is a tandem parachute jump this is not she's not actually parachuting she's just strapped to a man who is parachuting she just happens to be strapped to a man who happens to be parachuting maybe she thinks she's going to the shops and he's just left out of a plane she's putting she's putting feminism back basically it is worrying so you think that she's not doing this voluntarily that actually she might just have a grandson who's desperate for the inheritance and it's like hey okay we're

going for a tandem jump today gran i mean maybe they're just uh guinness world records chasers yes yeah yeah it's possible she's also got incredibly long fingernails and um and can memorize pi to like 90 decimal places. Are you ever allowed to just stop? It just feels like if I get to 103, I want to be sat in a chair. I don't want to. It's always like, they were 115 and they ran a marathon. It's like, I don't even want to run a marathon now.

So as somebody who is very pregnant, someone who's recently pregnant, I really resented the kind of pregnancy inspiration porn that you would get on social media of like, she's doing surgery and she's eight and a half months pregnant. Look at her doing open heart surgery, eight and a half months pregnant. I'm like, she's growing eyes in her stomach.

Like, give her a f***ing break. She doesn't need to prove anything. The baby's doing the surgery, actually. She managed to use knee-hole surgery to get the fetus to do the surgery for her. It's really frustrating. Bringing human life into the world is inadequately impressive. You've also got to be a f***ing brain surgeon. Well, that's all the time we have for Old Ladies Leaping News

because it is now time for our ad section. Your ad section now because you can't be what you can't buy. This section of the podcast is brought to you by pillows. Pillows, the bed for your head. Are you on an aeroplane? Are you breastfeeding on an aeroplane after 19 hours on that same aeroplane apart from a four-hour stopover in Abu Dhabi to look at some overpriced souvenir statues of Falcon

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If you were following avidly, as as I was the saga of Luna and Terra, the stable coins that became increasingly unstable and then crashed through the floor, you will be interested to learn that like Jesus, the Luna cryptocurrency has been resurrected and is already crashing again. Pippa Evans, you're a keen cryptocurrency enthusiast. Can you unpack this story for us? No, I can't. I absolutely cannot. I'm going to be an old lady with cash under my mattress. I still have a checkbook. I do not understand crypto at all.

And in fact, whenever I read it, I do try because I'm like, this is modern world. But whenever I try, they read like sci-fi novels to me. And I feel absolutely completely lost. There was a sentence in one of these articles that said, Terra is distributing lunar tokens through what's called an airdrop. And none of that sentence makes any sense to me. I know what a mic drop is. I know what a dropped crotch is,

but I don't know what an airdrop is. So for me, the sooner the apocalypse happens, the better. Tom Neenan, can you tell us how Terra and Luna are interacting with one another? That sounds more like it's, you know, I'm going to be your Scorpio rising with Sagittarius in, I don't know. I can't get my head around this. Basically, all I know is the more that your cryptocurrency sort of tries to over-explain how stable it is,

the more you should run away. Because it was this called, the one that just crashed, it's called Stablecoin. Yes. And so basically, I think now they're trying to like the lady duff protest too much and they're sort of calling things like all gonna be fine coin and like 200 percent return on your investment coin and it's like any of those that sort of try and over explain just how stable and just how fine this currency is run a mile but then how's it elon musk just didn't he say he's gonna start accepting one called dodgy coin which feels like the what is going on there hey we're taking crappy cash right now

no no no no no pippa come come come come it's not dodgy coin it is dogecoin imaginary coin based on a picture of a dog that was a meme a little while ago and has no limit to the number of coins that can be printed, so it's literally just magic pretend money. This is the thing with Terra and Luna. There was an algorithmic balancing act in play that was exploited by an outside party and they all lost value. People had paid real money for this fake money

and now they are being issued other fake money to compensate them for the fake money that they lost before, which actually translated to the real money that they used to buy the fake money originally. Unfortunately, the new fake money that they've been issued with also relies on them believing in it and having just had it disappear, they're not likely to believe in it as much as they would, which is why the price is crashing again uh it'll be interesting it'll be interesting to see if

people buy into this new money because it has all of the problems of the old money but is less regulated well obviously you know it's jubilee so we should be i would like to emphasize that it's only money it only counts as money if it has the Queen's face on it. You know, you obviously see that stamps are technically legal tender and all things they have the Queen's face on. And of course, the ultimate form of currency is the Queen because the Queen has the Queen's face on. And so the Queen, I think, is worth about sort of £100,000. So you can actually technically pay for things using the Queen. So, you know, that's worth thinking'm thinking about yeah really fun right is anything with the queen's face on it money do you think there's any like ambitious people while she's sleeping

trying to take her pillow into some pick and mix some mugs with her face on i should try it maybe yeah is there a celebration coin there's normally a celebration coin isn't there with the jubilee so is there a celebration there is have you seen it the biggest phrase look at me trying the biggest coin in the world they've made the biggest point in the world like a channel 4 documentary yeah which is absolutely pointless but yeah it does exist the biggest coin in the world for the Jubilee which isn't a bitcoin it is a big coin a big coin

and then if you take a bit of the big coin then never mind Elon Musk has said as Pippa mentioned that Dogecoin might be might be able to be used as cryptocurrency to pay for SpaceX voyages. If you want to go to Mars, you could be able to pay with this meme coin

or what's also called a shit coin, a coin that only exists because people think it's funny that it exists. But actually... ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Every sport has their big, juicy controversy. Boxing has the Mike Tyson ear bite. Cycling has Lance Armstrong.

Baseball has its steroid era. Curling has... Broomgate. It's a story of broken relationships, houses divided, corporate rivalry, and a performance-enhancing broom. It was a year I'd like to forget. Broomgate. Available now. Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts. Everywhere. Acast helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com

I don't think you can underestimate how much power there is in people thinking it's a bit funny. Like there are definitely politicians, not to get political so I won't name names, but there are definitely politicians that got elected because people thought oh that'd be funny and then it wasn't I was the sports representative at school in year 9

despite being really crap at all sports because I was a bit funny and I said it wouldn't be funny if I represented us all this year because I'm rubbish at sport and they all went that wouldn't be funny so I have experienced the power of humor and then found myself in meetings about sports

well I didn't know anything guys so fair enough I learned my lesson sorry Elon Musk's tweet about the possibility of SpaceX one day accepting Dogecoin as currency led the price of Dogecoin to jump 10% immediately, which would be called manipulating the stock market if you weren't already buying Twitter. Please let me, please fly me to space, man whose cars regularly burst into flames, man who hasn't quite mastered a form of transport which has been around and reliable for a century. Please take me into the famously stable rocket that you have and fly me to space. The man is brave and the man is enterprising.

I'll say that much. He is ambitious, but he also really likes tweeting. And you feel like, you know, ambition and grand vision for the future shouldn't also come with like a deeply fragile ego ideally yeah i mean it's like you know alexander saw that there were no more worlds to conquer and you know he wept because someone had said he looked a bit paunchy when he was standing on the ruins of the city he'd just conquered he's recently been um he's recently been dragged as the young say by a parody website as well which has been a been a lot of fun um who has sort of significantly less followers than him and has managed to absolutely ratio him at every

opportunity so so you know the man is the man is absolutely bossing the the platform he wants to buy what does it mean to be dragged please it needs to be made fun of yes it means it's it's it's being ridiculed internet lingo slang for being made is that connected having your name dragged through the mud so it's not really that new it's just no but it's not connected to drag race, like, you know, as in dragging up. It's dragging down. No. Dragging down. Dragging across? Dragging through?

Dragging across through the mud. It depends on what angle the mud is distributed. That's all the time we have for our cryptocurrency news, because now it's time for your reviews. As you know, each week we ask our guest editors to bring in something to review out of five stars. Tom Neenan, what have you brought in for us this week? First of all, I've brought something in. I'm very proud of myself. So I've gone very traditional with my reviews this week

because I'm going to do a film review because recently I saw the film Top Gun Maverick, which is blowing up the discourse. And I, okay, let me just get into it. So let's have a look. Tom Cruise plays a superhuman genius who is amazing at everything and doesn't play by the rules.

His name is Maverick. And everyone keeps saying lines like, I can't believe you're not playing by the rules, Maverick. It also stars Miles Teller, which I like to think of as an old timey name for a map. But basically, there are some fighter pilots who have to do a Star Wars-type mission to destroy some

enriched uranium, because the US military doesn't like anything being richer than they are. And what you need to do to enrich uranium is blow it up. Yeah, that's the most sensible thing to do. So the mission is described as impossible. So obviously Tom Cruise is involved.

And obviously, you know, for me, the real mission impossible is the fact that he is now nearly 60 and has better abs than I could ever dream of. I won't give away the ending, but I would say that the ending did make me stand up in the cinema, salute, sing the Star Spangled Banner and join Scientology. It's a brilliant film, 50 stars out of 13 stripes. God bless America. And I encourage you all to take a stress test later. I did a special, which is on Amazon Prime, and in it I make a joke about Tom Cruise. did a special which is on Amazon Prime and in it I make a joke about Tom Cruise and the lawyers came back to me after I'd filmed this special

saying, are you sure you want to make this joke about Tom Cruise? Because he's very litigious. And the joke was just that he runs around a corner really well. He's very good at running around a corner. Because he does it at a more acute angle than other action heroes because he has a lower centre of gravity.

So these lawyers said, are you sure you want to make this joke because Tom Cruise is very litigious? And I said, truth is a defence against the accusation of libel. I was a lawyer too, motherf***ers. I'm doing the joke. You can see that joke on Amazon Prime. The libel being he's a slightly shorter

than average man, something which is visible throughout all of Top Gun Maverick. Okay, fair enough. I love him. I love him. I won't be able to watch him now without thinking about that, that angle he goes around calling. something which is visible throughout all of Top Gun Maverick. Okay, fair enough. I love him. I won't be able to watch him now without thinking about that, that angle he goes around corners.

He's a very elegant runner around corners. Almost every movie he's ever in, there will be a scene of him running because he runs very compactly. He's a good runner. It's one of his skills as an actor. As an actor, he's a very good pilot. Yes. It's like Gene kelly the reason he was such a good dancer is because he's at a low center of gravity so he looks really like really compact

yeah petite treat pippa evans what have you brought in to well i feel like it's only appropriate really to review um the official jubilee pudding uh which was created by jemma melvin as we all know uh um many people have over 5 000 people i believe applied to create the jubilee tradition new pudding why was this not a season of bake-off why was that this not a very special you had a one-off programme on Channel 4. Thank you very much, Alice. Thank you. So I very, very was involved. And people might not know, listeners, of course, we have Coronation Chicken, which is chicken with mayonnaise with some curry powder in it.

And raisins, guys. And also the Victoria Sponge, of course, was named after a queen. Victoria, that's the one. And was dedicated to her after her husband Albert died, which is sort of strange, isn't it? Go, well, how do we make the lady stop crying? Let's give her a cake.

A sponge cake. Dry those tears. Jubilee pudding is actually, it's just a trifle. I'm not a big fan of trifle. So I was a bit disappointed when I found out it was going to be a trifle because I think there's too many ingredients in a trifle. And this one is lemon curd Swiss roll, custard jelly, mandarin coulis and amaretti biscuits. And Gemma says the reason it's good is because anyone can make it

because it's just ingredients that you can get from the shop now i don't know about you but my local shop does not have a huge stock of mandarin coulis so so uh so my review is i mean it's completely based on visual it's not based on taste uh i'm gonna give it three because if i was going to create the jubilee pudding and to be fair i didn't enter um but i would base it on the queen of puddings um not the actual queen of puddings which is in itself a name of the pudding um but the my queen of puddings which is the viennetta um everyone should know this uh classic 80s dessert that was is is and it has ingredients that you can get at the shop which is straight out of the box then i would put that on top of a piece of victoria sponge and then i'll cover it with meringue and make a sort of baked alaska but with a

viennetta in the middle i mean that's pretty good right because then we've got this sort of sticky meringue just to represent the stickiness around the the royal family that's ever present represent the stickiness around the royal family that's ever present. Well, garglers, if you would like to make this gargle special jubilee pudding, please take a picture and send it in to us at hellogarglers. How many is that out of five for the jubilee pudding? I'm going to give it three. Okay.

You can give it three out of five. Excellent work. That's all the time we have for our reviews section because now it's time for science news. I love my science news. This is news that researchers have teleported quantum information across a rudimentary quantum network. Incredibly exciting teleportation news.

Tom Neenan, you've gone from one place to another very quickly in the past can you unpack this story uh sure so yes uh this i mean i'm gonna i'm gonna try and explain this to you in layman's terms okay because i realize some of the listeners might not be so okay and so i've just i've simplified it for for thank you thank you so much uh not at all so uh scientists at uh delft university have sent an email is that it yeah i yes they have sent an email so fast that it took zero time that it just appeared in the other place at the same time as they sent it yeah isn't that an email so i i think i'm one i think i've realized in this i don't know how what an email is like i don't know if an email bounces off a satellite i don't know what it does um and so so yeah so the whole point of this is that it arrived it arrived the second it left

is that the is that the point so is i mean a second would be like a million times longer than it took yes the the instant it was sent it arrived yes okay um so that they had prime or something to make sure that it it got there really quickly yes um and okay so is is the is the end game of this i'll ask you this. Sorry. So researchers have teleported quantum information across rudimentary quantum network is the sort of the nuts and bolts of it. So is the idea of this either that if they can then send it even faster,

the thing will have arrived before it left and then we've created time travel or is it that we're trying to create sort of a teleporter? It's that we will make computers that are very fast. Unfortunately, it's that we will make computers that are very fast unfortunately that's the it's not it's not exciting computers will become faster than they are now to do more complicated things than they do now um but then maybe they'll be fast enough that they could calculate time travel i don't know we don't know yeah um but the answer is

definitely not that's not true that's's not how that works at all. But it is faster computers is basically the answer. Faster computers. That I'm, I'm not going to lie, I'm disappointed. My computer is as fast as it needs to be. If I frequently, I'll be drafting an email, I'll send it before I want to, and I can just do the little undo thing.

I don't want a situation where the email is in someone's inbox the moment that i've i've sort of sent it that would be a nightmare um so and also i'm always constantly accidentally closing tabs things like that if anything slower computers that's that's what i'm going to pitch i want computers that allow for human error and everything they do they're like you sure about this that's i think if they could find a way of getting this rudimentary quantum network to kind of i don't know slow things up a bit to kind of put a spanner in the works that i would be on board for that maybe it's just maybe it's like just mail exactly the post bring it back to flame

wars via mail i basically just chose this story because they teleported the quantum bits from Node Charlie to Node Alice. Oh, Node. Node Bob. I only know one Charlie and I don't really know any Bobs, but I'm hoping to be part of a Charlie and Bob sandwich one day. Information sandwich, ladies and gentlemen. This is a family show. That's all the time we have for our science news because now it's time for our art under attack news.

This is a non-political story. Let's say it's a non-political story because I'm pretty sure it will have zero political impact. The Mona Lisa behind its bulletproof glass, somebody threw an ice cream cake at the bulletproof glass encasing the Mona Lisa and said, climate change is real, and then scattered roses as he was being arrested, dressed as an old woman in a wheelchair

which I feel is probably unnecessary um but Pippa Evans as the dessert expert on this podcast can you unpack this story well have you ever been to see the Mona Lisa um because it's really tiny as much time it's really small so and then there's loads of people so so my sadness is that this person's put quite a lot of thought into i'm gonna dress up as an old lady i'm getting a wheelchair and it was something pushed and then i'm gonna reveal myself and i'm gonna cover the picture with ice cream and then i'll say climate change is real um and but no one will have been able to really see it because there'll be all these people in front of it. So his performance has sort of been rather destroyed by the crowd.

And then it's apparently it took 10 to 15 seconds before he was removed from the place, which means that then people would have been confused seeing them dragging an old woman. Not knowing what she'd done done her hands covered in cake um like some kind of nightmare old people's home scenario um so so and so so it seems to be some kind of protest against climate change but most commentators have said they can't quite see what the connection is between a picture of the mona lisa an ice cream cake and climate change it sounds like one of those questions you get asked you know like in your 11 plus or something um so so it's a it's a confusing story uh and makes

makes you wonder has protesting gone too far and should we take away people's right to protest tom finally someone's saying it i'm glad yeah um yeah obviously historically the mona lisa has been attacked many times it's also had a cup of tea thrown at it so um slowly they're sort of accruing sort of a nice uh sort of elevenses uh across the mona lisa uh which is lovely And obviously it was stolen in 1912, which is sort of how it became famous because people would queue up to see the place where the Mona Lisa used to be. And that used to be a big sort of tourist attraction as well. In the same way that people,

I don't know if you saw the Hyde Park Mound. It's called the Mona Lesser. Oh, very nice. Very nice. And yeah, so it's once again again she's been attacked which isn't nice but like you say she's behind glass she's um she's fully protected and everything else um it's i wonder if it's to draw attention to the fact that obviously the um the french got rid of their royals so they're jealous of our jubilee and the mona lisa is sort of the closest thing they have to a queen i guess i wonder i wondered if it's because the planet is our greatest artwork and we don't

protect it anywhere no it's not just mona lisa beautiful i certainly feel like the mona lisa has a touch of the old um panda problem about her in terms of, you know, preserving our natural resources and beauties. The pandas get a disproportionately large amount of all money that goes to saving endangered species because they're so cute and there's plenty of other hideous little frogs and things that are going extinct every day. But they just don't get the credit. And people feel that it's unfair, of course,

that pandas get that much resource because they will not f**k and you feel like you're sort of helping someone that doesn't want to be helped and that's always an odd feeling when you help someone who's quite ungrateful for the help that you're giving them are you saying that the Mona Lisa looks like she doesn't put out is that the uh is that the problem I yes famously famously that's what the smile is the smile is I've seen your dick pic and I'm not. That brings us to the end of today's episode of The Gargle. We're flipping through the ads at the back. This is an ad for the big airport Toblerone.

Surprisingly uncomfortable to eat for something that was purchased for you with the intent to bring you pleasure. And Pippa Evans, have you got anything to plug? Oh, no, not really. Just come and find me on the old social things, you know, the Twitter and that. I am Pippa Evans. I am Pippa Evans, and this episode of the podcast is brought to you by shoes,

the socks for your socks. Tom Neenan, have you got anything to plug? As usual, follow me on Twitter, at TNeenan. All of the hauntings, there are more coming out in October on Radio 4, but if you want to catch, yay, I'm looking forward to those, there might even be an episode about crypto,

so keep an eye out for that. But yeah, the rest are all available via various means. You can just Google The Haunting and Penguin Books. I think you can download the audiobooks from there there's lovely episodes with people like Nicola Walker and Julian Ryn Tutt and people like that have all turned up to do

a turn Nina Sosanya as well so yes check those out and there'll be more coming and sort of other bits here and there that aren't quite official yet so I shall keep shtum until then but yeah follow me on Actie Ne for all the all the latest updates and this episode of the podcast is brought to you by cryptid currency uh it's like cryptocurrency but more imaginary i'm your

host alice frazer find me online at alliterative at twitter instagram a-l-i-t-e-r-a-t-i-v-e or at patreon.com slash alice frazer that's one stop shop for all of my stand-up specials, podcasts and blogs. It's also now closing the Dancy Lagarde Literary Tribute Competition. I will be reading your submissions. If you want, you have another week to get in submissions, but I'll be reading your submissions over the next couple of weeks and I'll find a winner. The Dancy Lagarde Literary Tribute Competition,

if you find it on my Patreon, you can submit at the email address there. This is a Buell podcast, an Alice Fraser production. I'm your host, Alice Fraser. Your editor is Ped Hunter. And this week, Chris Skinner, who's also your executive producer, Chris Skinner. I'll talk to you again next week.