The Gargle - Chaotic Pigeons are Redefining Human Understanding?

Episode Date: July 2, 2026

On this week's issue of the glossy newspaper pullout The Gargle, Alice is joined by co-hosts Eleanor Morton and Tom Neenan as the trio jump into this week's science and tech news from Chaotic pigeons helping to redefine what we know about learning, breakthrough as scientists create personalised vaccine for melanoma. PLUS, An Indonesian researcher's fishy behaviour spotted by her compatriots at conference, and New research has found the Earth has millions more insects species than previously thought.Alice Fraser: https://www.patreon.com/AliceFraserEleanor Morton: https://eleanormortoncomedian.com/Tom Neenan: https://www.tomneenan.com/🎤 Get tickets for the LIVE episode of The Gargle HEREhttps://www.angelcomedy.co.uk/event-detail/the-gargle-live-fri-26th-jun-the-bill-murray-london-tickets-202606261800/Subscribe to Realms Unknown - a fantasy, sci-fi and speculative fiction podcast from Alice Fraser and The Bugle!https://www.thebuglepodcast.com/news/realms-unknownYou fund what we do!https://www.thebuglepodcast.com/donateProduced by Laura Turner, with Executive production from Chris Skinner Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, London. The Gargall is coming to London live on the 26th of June. I will be there. Our co-hosts for The Gargle Live will be Tom Neenan and Alison Spittle. It's going to be a delightful evening with some surprises. Head over to the buglepodcast.com slash live or check out the link in the description below. I will see you there. 26th of June, the Bill Murray. Welcome to The Gargle, a science and technology podcast brought to you by the Bugle. In the age before ages when the news was too full of politics, there arose from the throat of the shared human experience a sound. No God had commissioned, no nation had prepared for. The people of the world cupped about half a glass of water in their hands,

filtered back their heads towards the merciless sun and welcomed the gargle. Yes, you're listening to The Gargle, the Science and Technology pull-out section of the Bugles' audio newspaper for a visual world. I am your host, Alice Fraser, and your guest host for this episode, forged in the fires of British radio comedy, stared into the TARDIS, and made it cry. by legends say he once told a joke so dry, it caused a drought in three countries. Welcome, the man, the myth about a man, a man about a myth. It's Tom Ninen. Hello.

Hello, and hold on to your wigs and your sense of self. Born fully formed from the wardrobe they used to keep Narnia in, raised by a council of increasingly specific regional accents. She once impersonated a woman so accurately that the woman evaporated and was never seen again. It's Eleanor Morton. Hi. I'm very excited to have you both coming up. We have the news, reviews and the front cover.

This week is a picture of Europe and the UK clad only in a bikini and a terrible sunburn saying, I'm sure we don't need to make structural changes to the way we conceive of our weather patterns. I mean, you definitely need to make social conceptual changes. When I was a surf lifesaver on Bondi Beach in Sydney and Australia, we used to have a protocol for dealing with sunburned British tourists. Oh, God. Oh, God.

anyone lying in the full sun looking like a lobster passed out directly in like a high UV day and the protocol was you had to touch their foot with your foot because the profiling was that they tended to come up swinging and you know this is the thing you don't want there's quite a lot of profiling and surf lifesaving and you sort of feel a bit uncomfortable about it when your like when your teachers are telling you what to watch out for but when the rubber hits the road you're like I don't want to get punched in the face. Alice, you've lived in both the UK and Australia. Can you attest to the Australians who might not believe you,

the British summer hits different, as in it's worse, but not in a hot way, just in an unbearable way? Or are you one of those people who doesn't get affected? There are four features that make British heat waves more unpleasant than heat waves or the similar temperature on the dial in Australia. Number one, the days go significant. longer. The sun doesn't set until 10pm and so at like 5 or 6pm it's still 35 degrees whereas in Australia the sun would be starting to go down and the heat would be starting to come out of

the day. Number one. Number two, nothing is built for it. Definitely not the people. So moods are more labile and all of the structures are built to retain heat. So that's like I mean I feel like most British houses are built as though they could be transferred to the inside of a ship at sea on short notice. That's the plant. Yep. and or a hobbit hole, possibly a floating hobbit hole. Anyway, the third element that makes it worse is that it feels like it's a harbinger of end times. In a way that in Australia, you're like, yeah, you expect summer to be hot. And here it is constantly a surprise no matter how much it happens.

And so it feels like the death knell of a civilization. And that brings us to the headlines for this week. Quick headline section, the world's first nuclear clocks have become a reality. Physicists have created the first ticking nuclear clocks using an atom's nucleus for ultra-precise timekeeping. Atomic clocks are now officially obsolete. The new nuclear clock is so precise you can be late for your next meeting to the most minuscule fraction of a second. And very excitingly, stress-linked gut viruses help tumors evade the immune system, which is to say that a study has found that chronic stress

helps tumours avoid your immune systems attacks through a chain reaction involving gut bacteria and viruses. So if you were worried about getting cancer, now the only solution is to stop worrying about getting cancer because it's making it worse. Terrifyingly. And that brings us to our top story. Top story this week.

Pigeons are chaos, apparently. Eleanor Morton, you've helped shepherd in some coups before. Can you unpack this story for us? I can. I'm excited. I love pigeons. My dad's an orthologist. And when I was younger, every time I saw a pigeon that was in trouble, I put it in a box and

be like, Dad, we've got another one. And it'd be like, oh, my God, this isn't part of my job. But pigeons have basically failed the, I suppose it's not quite the Pavlov's dog test. But the idea that, you know, most animals and most humans will figure out. after a while if you do the same action you might get a treat which is an experiment that's worked on most animals and most humans you know press the red button five times something pops out rats they all figure out what to do not pigeons pigeons pigeons pigeons just doing their own thing they'll just they pick randomly they haven't figured it out at all and scientists are baffled but

I don't think they should be baffled I think if you spend any time with the pigeon you'll know that they are crazy creatures and they can't be tamed. So I'm not surprised. And I also think good for them, you know, good for them not adhering to our systems and our experiments. I think that's, you know, the last frontier against being part of a, part of a system. Yeah, it doesn't seem to come out of stupidity. It's like bloody-mindedness seemingly. It's an extraordinary, they don't seem to lack intelligence. They seem to lack a willingness to repeat any experiment. I'll push your button in hell. But a pigeon's life is like that, right? Because if you go to like Trafalgar Square, half the

people are feeding pigeons for being pigeons. Half the people are trying to kick pigeons for being pigeons. If I was a pigeon, I would not know if I was doing a good job or a bad job based on the input of the humans around me. I would just be like, yeah, I might, oh, go, be This random woman seems to think I'm doing a good job because I'm getting fed. This other person wants to run me over with a street cleaner. And this dog wants to kill me. And I wouldn't know what any of those inputs meant. All I would really think is that it's fun pooing on statues.

That's the only consistent in my life. So that's all I stick with, really. I mean, that sort of makes it amazing that they're not, if they're not building habits in order to get something, that means they must spontaneously decide that that statue is worth shitting. I saw a thing quite recently about how we've kind of failed pigeons as humans because we spent years and years, hundreds of years training them. You know, we kept them in Dubcukets, and we sent them out in the war as carrier pigeons. And then in the last 50 years, we've kind of gone, you know, pigeons, fuck you guys.

And you just kind of abandoned them. And I think that they're reacting as I would, confused and angry. Have you ever seen a pigeon nest? I know. They're incredible. The pigeon nest, I think there's a whole Reddit, subreddit for them actually. It is just like the minimum you could possibly call a nest. It is like four twigs in a square and they'll lay an egg in that.

That'll do. Actually, if you think about their nests, the way they react to buttons doesn't make it. Not a surprise at all. The fact that like, I hadn't thought about that before, but they were our allies during World War II. I know, this is it. And now we try and hampt them with hawks at train stations. We used to give them little medals,

which again, I don't think they really cared about. And now we pay a hawk, the evilest looking bird, to kill them in King's Cross, to the delight of tourists who think it's part of the Harry Potter experience. Yeah. To be fair, that's sort of what we did with violent men. Like historically speaking violent men, you're like, here have a medal, here have an army, here be the chief of a castle, you can't control your impulses, just have all the rewards. And then we turned around and we're like, actually, you're not meant to punch out your frustrations.

No wonder. I mean, yeah, they still get invited on Jimmy Fallon though, don't they? So that's, oh. Whoa. And that brings us to our next. Top news story. Personalized vaccine for melanoma has cut the risk of cancer returning after five years. Good news for meters back on the menu, guys. We can go out and I don't think this is a suggestion. We should all be going out and sun burning ourselves again. But it is a suggestion that maybe it's going to be more survivable to have a skin cancer.

I am pretty delighted about this. Tom Nean, you've squinted at the sun before against doctor's advice. Can you unpack this story for us? I certainly will. I came very close reading this to doing the most cloying thing anyone can ever do, which is go, guys, there should be like a news report that's only good news. You know, that awful guy that you hear about. And so I basically became that because I was like, I didn't know about this until we were sort of doing the research. We sort of sent over the links. And I was like, this is genuinely good news. And I wonder if it will be covered in the news or if it will all be death and destruction. I'm going to get this absolutely right because I don't want to get it wrong. the research presented on Monday at the American Society of Clinical Oncology's annual meeting found that a personalized mRNA vaccine halved the risk of melanoma returning after five years, the results were published in the journey of clinical oncology. This is incredible.

This is not quite the cure for cancer, but this is certainly something which will do a huge amount of good for people. Apparently, this is the most aggressive form of skin cancer and it's going to be brilliant. and it's going to help exactly the kind of people that you were trained to look after on the beach, which is mainly British people who fall asleep in the sun. When you were talking about the protocol of waking them up, I was so relieved the protocol wasn't just a big hand

and just slap on the chest and see what happens. That's no more than we deserve. I do wonder if our reaction to this, which is excitement, is disproportionate given that we are the key demographic for this, which is an Australian, a redhead and a pale man. The other sort of people who would be the most thrilled about this research. I, for one, am delighted at this news.

And I hope that, you know, as with all these pieces of news, it still needs a little bit of testing to be brought to market. But I'm quite excited about the possibilities. Speaking of the possibilities, Scottish Data Centre news now, Ellen and Morton, you're incredibly energy intensive to run. Can you unpack your story for us? I am indeed. Basically, I mean, this is happening across Britain,

but I'm in Scotland, so that's what matters to me. There have been 24 hyper-scale data centre applications to various different Scottish councils across the Central Belt, all within a fairly short time frame, I think, from the start of the year till now. and essentially people like myself are trying to fight back against it because Scotland is a small country I think that they estimated that these data centres would use up about as much energy as one and a half times our population or one and a half times what we currently use they're all being built in places that are very close to where people live

but there's no there's no upside in my opinion to these data centres and what we're seeing as well is is kind of, I think a lot of the time because the technology is moving faster than the legislation, you're seeing counsellors and MSPs not really being aware of the implications of the thing and sort of the developer is trying to get in there before the research has done about the development. So we're trying to push back against it because I don't know if this is me being too self-righteous, but I do not think the people of Scotland deserve to have their noise. their atmosphere, their land polluted, just so you can make a fun picture of a dog riding a bicycle.

Although, you know what, if it was a chihuahua, then actually, that would be fine. That would be fine for me. Yeah, well, this is the thing. There's so many cool things that AI can do, particularly when it comes to things like making personalized vaccines for people. But it does feel like a lot of what AI is being used for is to make presentations. for like PowerPoint presentations for bosses who will not look at them. Yes, yes.

And I think as well, I'm, I feel like we're going towards a bit of a bubble burst and I feel like a lot of these things are getting their proposals in as quickly as possible. And I do not see a positive outcome for anyone in Scotland. Luckily, it's been pretty widely kind of rejected by the public. we just need to kind of galvanise that and make sure that we actually use that to contact the councils, contact the government and direct it at them

and not just complain on, ironically, AI-driven sites like to run. But yeah, there's probably one near Utah as well. There's definitely loads in Australia as well. I think Ireland is kind of our case study for how not to do it. There's an argument that there should be data centre sovereignty and

local AI after the America first launched and then shut down for security reasons. Some of the more cutting edge models and now only Americans are allowed to use these most cutting edge information models and businesses that are in the UK that want to use cutting edge models are reliant on

American or Chinese technology to do that. So there's this like security argument that this is like military technology. But yeah, that it does feel a little bit like a nuclear race. Yeah. That we're all rushing to build this technology that everyone who is like deep in the technology

and whether this is like boosterism to raise funds seems to think could destroy the world. And we're rushing to be the ones who can destroy the world first so that we can tell other people not to destroy the world seems to be the logic. Yeah. I mean, I don't know what each of these specific data centers will be what the AI data is being used for at each of them. I would be surprised if it was good things.

But listen, if they want to say, if they want to be like, actually, we're only building cancer-curing AI data centers, then sure, bring it up to John Swinney and we'll talk more. But I mean, this is really the core question, right? The core question is whether you believe that there are other sinister forces that you need to be capable of fending off with your more sinister AI. Yeah. I don't think any of these companies, cynically, I don't think any of these companies have

anyone's interests apart from making money at the heart. The good news is that Erin Brokovich has started to map all the data centres in America. She's putting together this huge thing. And so even if they do build all of them, we might get a really nice Julia Roberts film out of this. I sincerely hope that, you know, by the end of 2030, Scotland is data centres only broken up by Trump golf courses. That is like, that is, it's destiny. That's the, that's the American dream. And that brings us to our reviews section. As we know each week, we ask our guest editors to bring in something to review out of five stars. Tom Neenan, what have you brought for us? Well, the Edinburgh fringe is coming up. And so I thought I would take this opportunity to review the experience of receiving

various different star ratings for your. show. Review the reviews. Review the reviews. So, first of all, I'm going to give one star to receiving two stars because no one wants to receive two stars. It is the mayor of reviews. It is just the, I could barely, you know, give a hoot about this show.

So that's two stars. I am going to give two stars to getting one star because while it isn't great to have one star, at least you made the reviewer feel something. At least you really made them hate what you were doing. And that at least means that your creation, what you're doing, had some impact on the world. So that feels good. I'm going to give receiving three stars, two stars, because it sits firmly in the middle. It's fine.

I would say one star. I think that's the worst one you can get. Three star. Okay, receiving three stars gets one star. In that case, receiving four stars gets three stars. gets three stars, because that feels nice. I'm receiving five stars gets four stars. And I'm going to award five stars to just being proud of your show

and not concentrating on what reviewers are saying. Yeah, that was a bit sincere, wasn't it? I'm going to give five stars to getting drunk at Brooks Bar. Whoa. Did you comedian Tomlin? I mean, you threw me there because I thought we were limiting. I thought we couldn't give the same star rating to any of the stars. And then it was like a puzzle that we were figuring up.

But you gave yourself some leeway there to give multiple one star experiences to the different star experiences. Yes. If we were limited, I would probably go three stars for one star, two stars for three, one for two. Yep. Yeah. Three for four, four for five because of course it could be better. Yeah. I'll get a headache.

I think five stars is three stars because after the initial. euphoria of the five stars. There's nowhere to go up but down, you know. And then you start to think, well, I'll never do better than that. And so that's why I think. Depending on where your five stars is, like, I'm the kind of person who will definitely, you know, I'll occasionally, like, get a five stars from like K'gul monthly and they just have the most, like, quiet audience for the next, like, month.

Oh, here we go. Plan, he's always mentioning his Kogul monthly five stars. Quite frankly, sick of it. Some of us can't get Kegu'l monthly in. That's true I recognise my privilege I mean I just think it's a sad come down from Kagul Weekly

that now it's probably being on the online very sad The true comedy fans Know where to look The true Keguil fans It used to be It used to be raining Kagul Weeklys

And now Eleanor what have you brought in to review Well continuing with a bird theme I'd like to review The Long-Eared Owl as a species It is currently lasting near where I live in Edinburgh And my boyfriend has always wanted to see an owl He's never seen an owl

He's seen owls like on TV obviously in zoos But he's never seen a wild owl And so the other week we went out to find the owl And it did it did the thing First of all there was a bunch of people like Sort of like sidling up to us in the middle of nowhere And being like, are you here to see the owl? It was the most sort of middle of the middle

class sort of drug deal equivalent. I was like, this is how people must feel when they do drugs. I was like, yeah, we just see the elk. Because, you know, you don't want too many people because it will scare the elves. Anyway, and we were waiting for ages, but didn't see the out. And then we thought, well, we'll go home. And as we were going home, just like in a nature documentary, it flew out of the tree and it perched on a stick in the middle of a bog.

So you couldn't miss it. It was like it came out, you know, they were saying the World Life documentary is like, I really feel like he knew we wanted to see him. and that was great. So I've got loads of very blurry. The pitch is terrible. You can just about figure out it's an owl. They're not good.

But I saw The Owl. I'm giving it five stars. I was picturing something quite big, but long-eyed owls are actually quite petite. So fantastic experience. We will be back to see the owl again. Do you think it's maybe a misnaming that it's actually just a normal size year,

but the owl is too small for it? That could be it. I mean, it's actually completely a misnaming because they're not even ears. They're just little tough. feathers, their ears are just these kind of holes that don't shave an owl that's horrible, look awful. One star for shaving an owl.

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Hush. Don't think about it too much. And that's our ad section for today. Millions more insect news now, but like in a good way, this is the news that much though we were attempting to extinctify almost everything on earth. There are millions more species for us to do that, according to researchers. Tom Ninen, you've picked up a log and seen things crawling underneath before.

Can you unpack this story for us? Yes, indeed. So this is the exciting news that there may be millions more bugs out there in the world than we had any idea that there would be. So this is the research from the University of Plymouth. And so apparently there's all these incredible. incredible creatures out there. The team analyzed more than 1.6 million DNA barcoded insects.

Now, if I thought, but the other day I was trying to get one of those fobs that you have when you want to like, if you've got a house alarm and you need to like put it on the house alarm so it turns the alarm off. I was trying to put one of those fobs on my key ring and the little hole that has to go through is so small and I was getting very frustrated and I thought there's no job worse than this and then I discovered that there is someone who barcodes the DNA of insects. And I was like, okay, that's the fiddliest job in the world. That is, that is irritating. Only, only less fiddly than the what we have to scan them all at the check.

Exactly. Well, now there are some unexpected bugs in the flying area because it turns out there's loads of bugs out there. And this is a really sad fact. 93 to 97% of all insects remain nameless. Isn't that sad? Yeah. Sort it. So yeah, so there's all these bugs out there that no one knew existed and have been thriving apparently. And this is good because like aside from the fact that no one likes bugs, they are technically like good for the environment, aren't they? And like for biodiversity and things. So it's sort of in it's kind of a good thing. And we should be pleased about this. Well, my favorite part of this whole story, was the quote by Dr. Robert Pushendorf, who's this professor at the University of Plymouth,

and he said, diversity is really hard to quantify. What this news study shows is that we have completely underestimated the insects. And what have they got planned? That's the question. It does feel like in general at a strategy meeting. I am as a lover of biodiversity and nature. I'm thrilled and as a hater of bugs I'm terrified but I do kind of like the fact that

every time I think I've pretty much learned about every animal on the planet another one pops up and it's weirder than I could possibly have imagined and that is one of the only things keeping me going if you guys want a fun I mean you might already know but I didn't know about the tufted pygmy squirrel want to Google that and it will make your day because they are fantastic little guys

and I didn't know they existed and now they do so I'm really happy A lot of these are just tiny variants, right? There must be like, it's a fly and then there's like a two and a half winged fly and then there's like a three winged fly and stuff. And they're all just like, surely they can't all be so different and magical and weird these boats. They're actually all very unique and special, Tom. It's very rude of you to suggest they're not.

I'm so sorry. A participation medal for every bug. Exactly. They all have a podcast. Yeah. International fraud news now, Eleanor, Indonesian authorities have been probing a suspected web of lies

at a Denmark scientific conference. You're an expert in impersonation. Can you let us know a bit more about this story? This is bonkers and fascinating and baffling because I've been to a couple of academic conferences and I know a lot more people who have been to many academic conferences. And so basically what it is, is it seems to be a small group of people turning up at multiple conferences with different names and identities and different presentations, which they then

don't seem to be able to explain, like when they're questioned further. And it seems like they are pretending to be academics. And they are getting grants in order to do these, go to these places. but I'm still trying to figure out the overall benefit because academic conferences are expensive. You don't get paid to go and you have to pay to be there. So they've all been getting these grants in order to cover their costs and presumably make a little bit extra.

Yeah, I mean, how much extra is it? Okay, I would be less surprised if it turned out what they were really trying to do was get as many free buffet breakfasts. That would make more sense to me. But it's also one of those stories where you're like, oh, academic fraud, interesting, fascinating. And then you're like, what's that over there? It's a man behind a curtain. And then you pull back the curtain.

And it's our old friend AI because it seems like some of these presentations have been, you know, generated to look good. But if you know anything about subject, immediately you can say that's what's happening there. Which AI is quite good at doing. Genocide of AI is quite good at kind of looking clever to people who don't know enough about the subject. But if you know about the thing, you can immediately go, that's, I don't know what this is. But isn't there already like a kind of academic fraud, like, presentation system in place, which is like motivational speaking? Which is like, if you like really got anything to say and like you just really got anything to say,

and like you just want some money. You just go, okay, I'm doing like a be, you know, own your own truth symposium and get, you know, very gullible people to come along and just tell them to follow their dream. And they'll be like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, if you want to wear a pastel suit and sort of put your fingertips together on a stage, that's possible. Yeah.

I mean, the thing about it to me is that it's sort of been done so ineptly is people coming and delivering a paper and then like literally changing their name tag and delivering a different paper 10 minutes later on the assumption that the same people aren't at the same conference and might like, I feel like it, yeah, it feels very, like, quite a lot of work for quite a low stakes benefit. I don't know if this is specifically an Indonesian thing or that the article was focused on Indonesia,

but it would be very funny if this was just an issue in Indonesia and nowhere else. And they were like, we don't know what it is about us, but we can't stop pretending to be academics. That is my one racist thing now. We'll just be, you know, you know, Indonesian people, they love pretending to be academics. I love academic.

Well, I mean, I think they are academics, but they're committing academic. I mean, they're just not academics in the thing that they say they're academics in, which is the worst kind of academic. So weird. That's such a weird choice, too. I'm fascinated. I want to see how this plays out because,

and I want to know specifically what the benefits are. If they say it was just to have nice hotel room stays, I totally get it. You may live to see this whole story play out because apparently we are on the edge of reversing aging as long as the billionaires can figure out how to share some of the N-Equels 1 data that they are collating for millions and millions of dollars a year each. Tom Ninen, you're interested in Doctor Who. Can you tell us more about this story? That's all I need. Sam Altman, man. Sam Altman's like, I'm going to tread. carefully. He's a weird guy. I think he would say he's a weird guy. This is the idea that like everyone in Silicon Valley, the one thing they can't control is the fact that they're going to die one day, which is the one thing they have in common with all of us. They can have the most rarefied life of anyone who's ever existed. You, me, Elon Musk and Sam Altman are all at some point going to pass through the veil and join the choir Invisible. And that's fine. That's what makes it all fine. But the idea that you spend your entire life trying to,

to reverse the aging process, which is a perfectly fine process. It's pretty much honed now over that time. Also, we have sort of reversed the aging process. Have you seen like Dick Van Dyke? Have you seen David Attenborough? These people are a hundred years old. Mel Brooks, these people are 100 years old. And a lot of them are still like up and about and still have all their sort of mental faculties. And they might not be as, you know, as as active as they once were. But they're still doing pretty well. we are sort of reversing the aging process but obviously not as quickly as these people would like. Samo does really weird things

like he'll measure the density or the pressure of his erections and compare them to his sons. Oh I think that was the other one, Brian Johnson. Oh, is that Brian Johnson? He also published his girlfriend's vaginal microbiome. Wow. And there were more bucks in there than anyone knew.

A million more bucks. That's where they discovered. I feel like there's two things with this. Firstly, I was fascinated by people who are obsessed with countering, aging and looking younger because sometimes, and, you know, this is, maybe this will sound cruel, but sometimes you didn't look that great when you were young either. Like, listen, Jeff, Jeff Bezos, you, whatever. But, I mean, was 25-year-old Jeff Bezos, quite the ladies man? I don't know. And the other thing is that it appears that scientists have been saying,

the best things to reverse aging are pretty simple stuff like, you know, don't smoke, eat healthy, get lots of sleep. And those are all things that all of us can do. So it's sort of like, it's not just that they want to reverse ageing, It's that they want to do it in a way that as normies could never do. And having friends, apparently, having some good close friends in about 11 years. And just be normal, just be a normal person, I think. Yeah.

Or be a Hollywood dance star, apparently, if you're Dick Van Dyke or Melbrooks or. Well, I mean, of all the people, he should be the one getting cancelled for doing a Nazi. No, absolute, no, my. I only want to even get away with it. I don't know why they haven't. I'm just seeing here that apparently what they're trying to do is there's a new breakthrough in anti-aging where they're all trying to isolate this thing called the Rudd gene, which is the Paul Rudd, whatever it is in Paul Rudd's DNA.

As soon as they isolate the Rudd gene, it's over for aging completely. Yep, Rudd and Keanu together. Yeah. Together they could be more powerful than we could ever imagine, and we must never happen. Kiss, kiss, kiss. Kiss, kiss. And that brings us to the end of this week's episode of The Goggle. I'm flipping through the ads at the back.

Eleanor Morton, have you got anything to plug? Yes, the fringe. Come to the fringe, go to the fringe. The fringe in Edinburgh, in Scotland. You know, it's the biggest arts fuss on the world. I am there every day in August, apart from Mondays and Tuesdays. 1pm, Monkey Barrel, CabVole, 1, The Mermaid. It's a show about mermaids.

and I'll also be selling my book their life lessons from historical women if you want to buy a copy of that. That sounds excellent. Tom Neenan, where can people find you? What a coincidence. I am also at the... Yeah, what are the odds?

I'm at the fringe. I will be there every day and Monday and Tuesday and the day off. And the last Monday, because I'm an idiot. And I will be there 315 every day. And that will be my social. show Tom Nean

what is it called I don't even know what my show's called Portrait for Tom as a young Neen that's it I went into like I went into a fugue state just then 315 at the Underbelly George Square see you there

You could do a nice little double bill if you were Oh hello Or a couple about Bill if Alice is Yeah let's do it Let's do it That's exciting Let's get out people to talk to each other

We don't have Yeah You can find me Of course at the fringe I will be in Leeds on the 9th of July in Peterborough on the 10th of July where tickets are selling very badly. So if you're anywhere near Peterborough,

please come along and watch my work in progress of the show called, Oh man. If you are in Cardiff, I'll be there on the 19th of July filming both Passion for Passion and Oh Man. So Cardiff, 19th of July. I'll be downstairs at the King's Head in London on the 21st of July and at the Queen's Theatre in Hornchurch. May he a tour of all the royals on the 23rd of July.

July. Then I'll be in Oslo. I said Copenhagen on the bugle, but it's Oslo. I'll be in Oslo on the 31st of July at 9pm at New, N-I-E-U, which is going to be heaps of fun. And then I'll be doing Edinburgh at Fringe 840pm at O'Neils, the Tron, doing old man every night, including the last Monday. Tom Nean, you're not the only one. Yay. I mean, I'll be in Edinburgh on the last Monday because I live here. So I can just come and laugh at you guys for your poor choices. Yeah. Please.

Please do a triple. Do a marathon of gargle and realms unknown people. We've got a bunch of people there. We should put out a post with all of the people who'll be there. Follow us on the blue sky and various other social media. This is a bugle podcast and Alice Fraser production. Your editor is Harry Gordon. Your executive producer is Chris Skinner.

I'll talk to you again. Next time.