The Gargle - Clitoris | Twitter | Psychedelic frog

Episode Date: November 11, 2022

Cerys Bradley and Alison Spittle join host Alice Fraser for episode 87 of The Gargle, the weekly topical comedy podcast from The Bugle - with no politics!({}) Clitoris news🐦 Twitter nonsense🐸 Psychedelic frog🧊 ReviewsProduced by Ped Hunter and Chris Skinner. TEAM BUGLE PODCASTS 📯Catharsis (and Tiny Revolutions) with Tiff StevensonTop Stories! The BugleThe Last Post with Alice FraserThe Bugle Ashes UrncastBush's Board Game Thing Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Acast.com This is a podcast from The Bugle. Goddess, sing the rage of Peleus' son Achilles, destructive how it gave the Achaeans endless pain and sent many brave souls of heroes to Hades and made them food for the dogs and all the birds as Zeus' plan was being fulfilled. Start from when those two diverged in strife,

the Lord of Men, Atreus' son, and the gargle, the sonic glossy magazine to the bugle's audio newspaper for Visual World, all of the news, none of the politics, some of the ancient Greek poetry. I am your host, Alice Fraser, and this week's edition of The Gargle is joined by editors Alison Spittel and Keris Bradley. Hello. Hello. Hello.

Excited and delighted to be here. Also, those things. Similarly, but not equally, perhaps. Sorry, I'm very tired. That is allowed. It's allowed to be tired. Look after yourself. Maybe have a nap, but not during the show.

Although I did once have somebody tell me, email me, after he couldn't sleep unless he was listening to something that he'd listened to many times before. And I appeared very, very briefly on an episode of Mark Maron's podcast. And he was like, thank you, I really found your contribution soothing. It was like literally 15 seconds. And he'd listened to it at least 250 times. And he beat by beat analysed the brief comedy that I did in that moment and I

was like huh you never know the impact you're gonna have you were basically a sheep like being counted my partner and I reached a watershed moment in our relationship where we realized that I'd said more words to her than Martin the sound man from the illusionist podcast because that's what she falls asleep to so So that was a big day for me. That is a beautiful moment. Before we snuggle in together on the couch that is this week's top stories, let's have a look at the front cover. The front cover this week is Stephen Fry posing provocatively

without a Twitter account. The headline says, I had 12 million followers and I threw it all away on the campus to exit since Oscar Wilde left a party swishing his scarf like a cape. I took this piece of news very seriously because he followed me on Twitter, Stephen Fry followed me on Twitter, and now he's not on Twitter anymore, so I feel like I've lost some real clout there.

Oh, no. How did he follow you in the first place? What was the path towards towards that we had the same show name at edinburgh one year and like a bunch of people tweeted tweeted me being like lol bet stephen fry is gonna accidentally do your show or whatever uh and i think he was like who's this idiot and then but it was really exciting for me you know like it wasn't anything due to any like skills on my part do you know when someone really famous follows you and you're like i better not say anything stupid for like a week better better act normal in front of the big celebrity and then they unfollow you for being boring yeah exactly exactly and it's like what can we do what

can i do you know when i have more famous people following me I stalk them and check like the day that they unfollow me it's like one of my my weekly twitter things I'll go in and see are they still following me which is easy on twitter but on instagram to do it I have to unfollow them to see if the thing says that they're following me and so it's even more obvious that I'm regularly stalking them because I'm regularly unfollowing and then refollowing them because they still like my content. Wow. In this week's episode of the Non-Political Gargle,

red against blue. Which is a better colour in the Pantone colour range and why do you feel ideologically allied to cool tones or warm tones? Do our survey and find out if you're a Rosso or an Eve Klein. The satirical news cartoon is actor Sean Penn giving his Oscar to President Zelensky to keep until, allegedly, until Russia is ejected from Ukraine as a way to encourage him to win the war. Aha, says Zelensky, my plan all along was to use this war to win an Oscar.

Have you been following this story at all? I know it's sort of, I can't tell if this is political or not, but that's why I put in the satirical cartoon section, which is our only bit of being political. But this is so stupid it's not political, if you know what I mean. This is the first I've heard of this. This is interesting. So, like, Sean Penn has given it to him to keep safe?

Well, yeah, he's given it to him... That's a terrible idea. ..as a sign of encouragement, saying you can keep this until Ukraine wins the war. Wow. But that's the opposite incentive structure now he has an active encouragement to to prolong the war for as long as possible every time he looks up at that Oscar he's going to be like today's not the day I need my emotional support Oscar I just see I feel very odd about the Oscar as a gift because first of all an Oscar is inherently not very valuable, I don't think.

I think it has some value in the gold or something. But having Sean Penn's Oscar doesn't, like, I don't, you're just minding something that isn't yours. It's like, here, hold this for me while you're also running a war. It seems stressful, needlessly stressful. I'm pretty sure he's allowed to put it down. Is he, though? We don't know what conditions Sean Penn, like,'s really onerous like maintenance required polish his little you know

bald noggin three times a day with a wet rag you know it does feel like he is just giving that guy uh one more task to do he's like you're good at multitasking you know yeah well if you want something done ask a busy man yeah ask him to edit my podcast exactly yeah so let's keep i know you're up to your eyeballs but like come on that would be an actual encouragement though if he has to learn how to do sound design and podcast editing and then he's got to if everyone starts giving him podcasts to edit he's like well i've got i've got to get this got to get this sorted i'll go kick rush out myself because i just i just don't have the time well you need to get somewhere quiet as well you know all these sirens and bobs you'll be like i cannot edit this podcast it's surprising

if you ask politely and you say you're recording a podcast people are often quite willing to like stop drilling for half an hour or something. So this isn't a political podcast, but I'm just saying, if you go, oi, quiet down, I'm doing a podcast, we could have found the solution to all wars. You've talked yourself into it. Top story this week, clitoris news. Yes.

Scientists have counted all 10,000 nerve nerve fibers in the human clitoris. This is groundbreaking news after so much of medical history was spent pretending it didn't exist. Now they've comprehensively counted all the bits, like sheep, to keep you asleep. But the real question is, do you think somebody who has to be convinced that the clitoris is real or somebody who has counted all 10,000 nerve fibers would be a better lover i think it's a hard decision to make between the two what i love about this story is that like uh the scientists were looking at cow clitorises and genuinely when i read this uh thought hit me and I was like oh my god I didn't know cows had clitorises which is like a silly thing the only thing that the only two species

of animals I thought had clitorises was humans and dolphins because dolphins won't stop wanging on about it all the time you know and out that, like, cows have four stomachs before I found out it had a clitoris just goes to show science's kind of devaluing of the clitoris altogether. Although, where were you when you found out

a cow had four stomachs? I was like five. That's true. In a petting zoo. And a farmer who used a cow as like a literal, like, water gun, like a milk gun he shot loads of milk at us from the teats of this cow

and then taught us about the digestive system of a cow he didn't mention the clitoris and I feel robbed you know, but I'll know can you imagine going to a petting zoo I'm sure the cow did too yeah yeah he's just gone up my nipples the whole time he doesn't understand i'm a clitoris

previously it was sort of uh touted around in all sorts of scientific places that the the human clitoris had about 8 000 nerve fibers but that was based on this cow data. Now they've actually honed in on the precise female anatomy and unpacked it, as it were. How do you feel about this, Keris? Would you study 10,000 nerve fibers? I mean, it's kind of, this is a scientific tale as old as time, which is that for a very long time, we thought that women worked in the same way as some kind of animal. And nobody thought to check the science that a scientist did with his ex-wife and that maybe it wasn't correct.

And we just reproduced this lie for ages. And then someone had to come up with a concept from a paper and didn't want to do any hard science and was like, you know, I used to like do it as a kid counting stuff. I'm going to just get down there and I'm going to count. It's like that thing where they try to spell out the alphabet with their tongue. Oh, my God. Who told them that? Just count the nerve fibers. Count the nerve fibers.

It'll drive him crazy just counting is the easiest science and what this tells me is that this guy had to come up with a paper he had to get something published and he had no thoughts for any experiments but you could always go back to to counting the number of research papers that I've read, which they contribute nothing to human knowledge, but what they have done is just sat down and counted a bunch of things and then produced a number at the end. It's the only thing that you can do when you can't think of anything else to do.

And the thing that most annoys me about this story is just that 10,000 isn't like an objectively funnier number than 8,000. All of the jokes that people have written about the clitoris having 8,000 nerve endings, if you replace 10,000, functionally, from like a comedic point of view, it's exactly the same.

We've gained nothing. Were you hoping for like 69,000? Was that the number you were hoping for? That would have been good or just like if it was like a million,

like I think we needed to go at least like an order of magnitude higher, like just 2,000 more is not enough to change the punchlineline of jokes the new research was made possible by seven transmasculine patients who donated clitoral tissue and the donated tissues were then preserved stained blue and magnified a thousand times under a microscope so that someone could do the counting. And at last we found out where blue dye comes in, finally.

Because I've watched so many ads. The 8,000 number comes from a line in a book called The Clitoris, which was published in 1976, which I feel we should discount all sex research that was done in the 70s because it was done on shag carpet and it's probably wrong. Yeah, it was a bad decade for sex in the 70s. Yes, decade, decade. Everything before that probably fine, everything after.

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Now it's time for our Twitter news. By the time this comes out, of course, it will be about 18 groundbreaking stories. Too late. This story is rolling at the speed of knots. Twitter has asked some fired workers to come back after having fired people. It's all very exciting. Keris, have you got an opinion on this rolling story?

I mean, i'm embarrassed to admit that yes i do elon musk um he was forced to follow through on his terrible idea to push twitter and then what i really liked was in a matter of moments he reinstated comedy which is obviously good we all wanted comedy to come back for to twitter we're all missing that and then he banned people from making jokes about him which is a statement that follows logically from the first one that i made and then he fired a bunch of people and then they've now realized that in order to run twitter you do need staff and so then they've had to ask them all to come back and what i really enjoy is the rumor that they fired staff based on the number of code that

they wrote so the less code that you wrote the more likely you were to be fired because Elon Musk presumed that that meant that you did less around the company and if you have seen any code that I have ever written in my life you will know that that longer code is not better code and so what he did was he fired all of the incredibly efficient people or all of the people who like had to troubleshoot the really really hard problems and then he left everyone was he was either like less competent at code or just like your general have to write a bunch of stuff people. And then things started breaking. And then I would really like to have watched any of those people who got fired from Twitter

being invited back to Twitter and what that conversation would have looked like. Because I imagine that was very fun. I'd say it's a very short email. I mean, I can sort of understand from the perspective of business. You've just bought a business and it's a terrible business. It was a terrible business to begin with. It's difficult to quantify what you're selling other than people's addiction to themselves and and of course you're going to go in and fire a bunch of people but you

do have to generally I think if you're going to go in and fire a bunch of people think about the people who you want to fire um and and maybe it's not the people who are costing the company billions of dollars a day although i i um i did a gig in twitter hq in ireland a few years ago that's how i got verified i went in did my gig and came out of a blue tick and i was like wow um so what they paid you in do they pay you in a blue tick look they gotta save money somewhere Musk ain't no fool he's were there people who did the gig

who didn't get the blue tick like if you bombed then you didn't get verified yeah you weren't a real person I feel that's what

it's like in comedy anyway not a real comedian so called comedian yeah but like I remember being in there and staff were lovely I hope they've all

survived. Musk isn't shooting them into space he's just like okay fair enough I feel like he would if he was given if he was allowed to I feel like he'd stick him in a rocket and put him up into space but the thing that I was most impressed by by the Twitter HQ was that

in the bathrooms they had little toothpaste with toothbrushes and i was with another friend i was like this is incredible that this is provided for people and then my friend was like this is actually like they want them to stay in and brush their teeth and work harder and longer but for me like any anything that uh work does that's seen as a nice gesture is actually a thing to keep you in for as long as possible and that's when like my whole mind was destroyed by capitalism you know I was like maybe maybe people don't care about people's well-being in any way I was teaching on this program teaching a bunch of kids debating and then they had their like competition finals day in the facebook hq

and twitter is providing toothbrushes and toothpastes for people in facebook hq they had like a place for you to put your laptop when you went for a shit what what so in terms of getting like the most out of people different levels this is why twitter's gotta fire a bunch of people a place for you to put your laptop when you have a shit. Surely you'd bring the laptop with you. You'd want something like play a bit of Minesweeper. In the toilet there's a place for you to have your laptop

whilst you're in the loo. Wait, wait. In the toilet itself? Wait. Oh my. I thought it was like a little laptop crash for when you wanted to take a shit and you would leave it there. No, it's a place for you to put it in the bathroom. In Japan they have little places to

stick your baby on the door in toilet cubicles. Is that just a coat hook? Have you mistaken a coat hook for a place to hang your baby? It's weird though that Elon is asking us to spend $8 a month on a blue tick it makes the blue tick no longer feel

I mean whatever attachment you had about your self worth to a blue tick it's going to be negative now for me spending frivolous money it's seen as shameful and I don't want people to know that i would pay eight quid a month for something blue beside my name it just feels so weird eight dollars a month you can uh that's like more expensive than netflix account yeah so if elon moss wants me to pay eight dollars a month for a blue tick i also want access to all of the films and i feel like being a verified

person they just presume that you're some sort of like person that used to hang out with Ghislaine Maxwell or something I get a lot of people calling me a blue tick and then accusing me of being a pedophile and uh you know I don't want to pay eight quid a month for that experience I got my blue tick when someone was pretending to be me and so I was like well I guess then there is a point to me approving that I am who I say I am but yeah it's sort of confronting head-on the issue of internet free speech slash moderation in order to keep advertisers on board which is essentially why social media platforms do any moderation at all um as inadequate as it is is because they are hosting ads that's the only way they make any money because it's not it's not a product you know the product you're getting into a club for free you're the product that's what i say to young ladies on the street at night

you know mosque is also apparently unblocking himself from other people's accounts. So this has just been a whole exercise of... This is just for him personally. He felt that too many people were ignoring him and so he has paid however many billion dollars he paid just so that he can go and force people to have to read his inane thoughts. The real thing is he's presented himself, publicly at least,

as a kind of a... On the side of the coders against the side of the artsy wankers who don't get anything real done. He's a side of the people who get their hands dirty, the side of the people who really make change in the world, and he sort of presents himself as a kind of an idiot savant in kind of contrast to people who always say the right thing. Part of his charm is that he doesn't say the right thing.

But I feel like one of the most beautifully democratic features of this whole exercise is that people can cyberbully the richest man in the world. He is getting cyberbullied. I do feel like he is going to snap like that substitute teacher and take the ball back home with him, but it's social media. It's astonishing how he's managed to make himself the underdog, despite, and I repeat, being the richest man in the world.

Rich people feel like victims. Ever since they were told they were the 1%, they're like, oh, we're in the minority. OK, we need to protect ourselves. You know? Now it's time for your reviews section. As you know, each week we ask our guest editors to bring in something to review out of five stars.

Keris, what have you brought in for us? So I'm torn because on the one hand, I want to review the Gargle fans because last time I was here, I reviewed tendinitis and that did not receive a positive review and the episode went out and then lots of lovely listeners sent me tendinitis advice and it's really helped with my tendinitis so I wanted to review the fans give them five stars um but then I thought well that was so effective last time maybe I'll just bring a different ailment amazing instead so I had my first uh panic attack yesterday and that was

that was terrible I give that negative a billion stars so if anyone's got any top tips then we'll just I'll just keep going and next time I come sick sick, get sick, I'll ask to come back on the goggle. And this will just be my healthcare now. I feel like if you are having a panic attack, just think of how Elon Musk is feeling. You know, you should be fine. He's bathing that. One of the pieces of advice that I get, I often see when people are giving advice about panic is to put your face into some ice water to get a bowl and put some ice in the in the bowl and then put your face in the bowl of ice and i feel like the prospect of that much admin and ice face would give me another panic attack i just just admitting that i needed an ice bowl would be too stressful for me i don't think i I would do it. The thing that I learned is that,

so I have like, I run with an anxious crowd and so I've witnessed a lot of panic attacks and I have always been the person who's like, it's okay, we just need to get your breathing under control. Breathe with me, breathe in, breathe out. I didn't realize how annoying that is until someone was saying that to me when I couldn't get my breathing under control.

I'm like, I know exactly what is happening with my body right now. If I could do the thing that you're doing, we wouldn't be in this situation. Well, see, this is the thing. If I was having a panic attack, the last thing I would do is be like bowl, ice. There's so many steps to that.

What I want is Cary Grant to slap me around the face and go, get out, snap out of it. I feel like that kind of rough and ready field treatment is the only thing that's going to be effective for me personally during a panic attack your mileage may vary imagine trying to make ice while having a panic attack though you'd have to dig around find the ice cube maker fill it with water pop it in the freezer have a panic attack for eight hours you know wait for it to get cold. Pop it in. Or it's already in the freezer and then it smells weird.

You know, like if it's been in the freezer for too long and then you put it in the bowl and then you're like lowering your face towards this like freezer burn smelling thing. Yes, that's so true. No. If you've got your life together sufficiently to have fresh ice and a clean bowl, you don't need panic attacks. You've probably got healthcare yeah you probably do

why not send a text to that professional that you have on hand with your fresh ice so any advice for Caris from our excellent audience but nothing about ice because you will get roasted there's some poor person who like is like that I find this

is now having a panic attack because that was the only thing that helps them as I said it's only me I live an ice-free life I have CPTSD which in layman's terms means majorly triggered and I triggered my timbers and we do this therapy where if you are kind of like losing control, you can like, like it's a sensory thing where you can like touch, you like touch your hand and you kind of center yourself and make sure that you're there. Or you can smell stuff. And I've always been interested, like my therapist always chooses

like a lavender and my boyfriend is allergic to lavender and I feel like he's trying to tell me something and i'm like no through sensory stuff but yeah i don't know like the thing about like panic attacks is it does leave it is annoying because it's like people do tell you it does go and it feels like nothing does go but. But it's annoying when people are right. It's like when people say exercise feels good. And I'm like, f*** you. You don't know shit.

And then I do it and then I'm like, those bastards are right. You know? It's so annoying. It feels worse than the endorphins. I just thought that was a romantic song. I don't want anybody else. When I think about you I touch myself. Because I'm having a panic attack i need

sensory stimulation that's great caris that was uh minus a billion stars yeah yeah i would say we don't have that many stars but i've just been studying space and we have so many stars we've actually got minus 2000 more than we thought that we did that's a minus clitoral joke that's great that's that's what i call ian musk he's like minus 2000 clitoral nerves what have you brought in for us to review so i went on this podcast a few weeks ago i went on off menu and it came out, and I talked about soup for a long time, and this soup company

sent me a load of broths in the post. I want to review the act of getting sponsored content for appearances. I love it. So if anyone wants to send me free shit, please do.

I'll hawk anything braffs at the moment I took a picture of all my braffs like an Instagram influencer like I stacked them up and everything like they're little corgis I just soup in the mail what an innovation

I know go imagine someone delivering soup for your letterbox laughing laughing does it come in a bag No, imagine someone delivering soup through your letterbox. Does it come in a bag? Is it just a bag of soup? It comes in a bag. Are you sure you're not just the subject of a stop oil project? Yeah.

I am the problem, though. I am the problem. Yeah, correct. Yeah, it just feels very innovative to me to to receive to receive broth through my letterbox they're taking up room in my fridge and i just don't know what to do with a duck based broth apart from making duck soup and uh i've never had duck soup before i've never seen the film i don't know really what to do but i'm very very excited about uh excited about getting silly stuff in the mail. Like, I have a friend who's an influencer,

and she got a car, and, you know, I've been very jealous of her getting her car for free. She just has to put up a few posts, like, every couple of months, like, shouting out the car dealer, and I get soup, and I feel like we're just in two different worlds if this is how podcasts work am I now gonna get a bunch of panic attacks in the mail yes I'm afraid so I'm sorry just ice ice in the mail yeah I feel like the skill set required to be an influencer is an instinctive sense of how much coverage you need

to give a product if they send it to you for free in the mail. I feel like I would get it wrong in the in the wrong direction in that if somebody sent me like a small packet of like hand cream I would then include it in every story for 40 years. I would be embarrassingly they would be embarrassed by association with me because I feel like look at this hand cream. I feel like you need somebody who knows exactly how much to give. Somebody cool. Yeah, somebody cool. I've changed my name to the Borough Braff Company now. And that's what I will be referred to.

Shout out to those guys. Oh, I review it as five out of five. Oh, excellent. Five out of five. I'm afraid you won't be able to change your name on Twitter unless you're clearly marked as a parody. We're a broth company parody.

I've made a big mistake. Psychedelic frog news now. The National Park Service is in, of course, the US. The National Park Service has announced that you should not lick the Sonoran Desert Toad. They've said even though it looks incredibly delicious and is incredibly delicious and will get you harmlessly high with no harm to the frog, you should definitely not lick this delicious looking frog. No.

Keris, can you unpack this story for us? Yes, so the National Park Service has warned people not to to lick the sonoran desert toad because it's toxic and specifically doesn't want to be licked i think is the actual reason so it has evolved to not be licked by saying if you lick me i will make you sick and then also by like it's followed all the rules on how to make itself look toxic and so now must be so annoyed that people are looking at it and all of the signs that it's giving out that it's toxic and being like, hmm, that looks delicious.

I mean, I think that every time someone tries to make friends with me. Can you not feel the vibes that I'm putting out? Take your ice and go. A part of me thinks that the only reason they told people not to lick the toads is so that people would lick the toads that is genuinely what i think they had a meeting where they were like how do we get people i bet you i can make a bunch of people lick some toads no you can't how are you going to make people lick toads i'm going to tell them not to lick the toads yeah and now people are going around

licking toads because i never would have thought to lick a toad until i was told that i wasn't allowed to lick a toad now i really want to go out and lick a toad until I was told that I wasn't allowed to lick a toad. Now I really want to go out and lick a toad. It does feel like that time I worked in a Chinese restaurant and the boss said to me, my first day on the job, my first task was to bag up all of the prawn crackers into bags. And my boss told me, you can eat as many of these prawn crackers as you like.

I will never judge you. Just go for it and i um i absolutely i absolutely destroyed myself the first day just just the man the man was throwing the prawn crackers practically straight into my open gaping mouth i was just eating them so much but i never I never ate another prawn cracker for years. So that max prawn crackers were left alone for the full summer that I worked there. And I wonder if the government just gave that approach where they were like, you can lick as many of these frogs as you like.

You knock yourself out, man. We as a people would be like, no, if the government are telling us to lick these frogs, like I am not going to lick these frogs. Like f*** the government. Do you know what I mean? I mean, we've spent the last 15 years systematically undermining all trust in every institution. Any announcement made by any government body at this point,

I think we've proven through the whole vaccine debate during COVID, every government announcement should just pretend it's Opposites Day and hope that they get what they want done that way i think this is an elaborate plan to stop people from eating the little washing pods the time oh yeah tie pods yeah at least they're getting out in nature if you're going to lick a frog right exactly this this the type of thing like people have died from eating those and so the government has been like how do we stop that from happening what is like a like a an equally tantalizing but significantly less harmful version of this

do we think we can get them hooked on licking toads instead you know what gary i think you've got it and as you say gets them out in nature uh and learning about different kinds of species um and then the nation also gets to wash its pants everybody wins yeah from from tide pods to toad pods it's a beautiful story you know it's like what will we put in our mouth i i've i've been i've put weird stuff in my mouth over the years, especially for this podcast. If I could review having a toad in my mouth, I'll give it a go, guys. I'll just have to get to California.

But it can't be worse than a battery. Now it's time for the end of the show, I'm afraid. We've reached the end of the show. Keris, have you got anything to plug? Yes, I do. On Monday, I have a show in Manchester. I'm headlining the Blizzard Comedy Night, which will be fun. And then on the 7th of December is the first ever Boys Night, which is a comedy night for trans masc, trans men, non-binary people and drag kings. It's

going to be amazing. It's free. It's going to be really fun. free uh it's gonna be really fun nobody is gonna count the fibers on anybody's clitoris it's gonna be a top night for for everybody and there's like i think we've still got like five more tickets left so you've got to get them now before we sell out i mean that clitoris story was entirely due to the contributions of trans men um i think we, great contribution to science. Let us contribute something else. Let that not be our legacy. Alison, have you got anything to plug? Oh, do I?

I have a whole tour that I'm going to plug. I have the wet comedy tour is coming to a town near you if you live in Edinburgh, Glasgow, Newcastle, Belfast,

Brighton, Bristol, Manchester, Liverpool, and I think that's it. So yeah, Glasgow, Newcastle, Belfast, Brighton, Bristol, Manchester, Liverpool. And I think that's it. So, yeah, come along to that if you like. It's on in 2023 from the 21st of January. Starts in Edinburgh and finishes in Brighton on the 24th of March.

Go to my Instagram where you'll find a link tree and there is plenty of information in that link tree there. Thank you. Oh, and Wheel of Misfortune is back with Kerry Katona as the new host, which is mental. That's so cool. I know. That's so cool, Alison. I know.

I can't believe it. I can't believe it. Thank you so much to our roving reporters, James Fieldsend, who sent in the clitoris story, Sea Lips, who sent in the psychedelic toad story. If you would like to be a roving reporter for the gargle, tweet us at HelloGogglers while stocks last of Twitter.

I'm Alice Fraser. Find me online at at alliterative on Twitter and Instagram. Also, I have Patreon, patreon.com slash Alice Fraser. I will be launching my new show, Kronos, there soon. And if you're in Brisbane,

there are about five tickets left to see me do Kronos on the 12th of November so jump in quick on that this is a Bugle podcast and Alice Fraser production your editor is Pet Hunter your executive producer is Chris Skinner I'll talk to you again next week you can listen to other programs from the Bugle including the Bugle the Last Post Bugle, The Last Post, Tiny Revolutions and The Gargle, wherever you find your podcasts. The world today is angry and not just about the important stuff. I'm Tiff Stevenson and I'm annoyed you're listening to this and I know something random has pissed you off already today. So this show is a safe space for me, you, and a funny guest to relive, release, unload on all of those things that make

modern life so, well, like this. She hated me and that's the number one thing I don't like in a person, personally. I can take someone that I don't like, that's fine with me if I don't like you. But if you don't like me, that ruins me. No beef too old, no fear too irrational, no opinion too unpopular. First of all, it's not growing out of my brain, it's what are you talking about? I mean, if your hair manifested the internals of your brain, there'd be a lot of people in mergers and acquisitions with tiny penises for hair. But it's just the worst Medusa ever.

From the Bug bugle this is catharsis