The Gargle - Dolly | Crypto death | Drug ref

Episode Date: November 18, 2022

Alice is with John Luke Roberts and Pippa Evans to look at non-political news, like Twitter, Dolly Parton's big giveaway, the end of FTX and a referee who also sells drugs.Produced by Laura Turner, Ch...ris Skinner and Ped HunterTEAM BUGLE PODCASTS 📯Catharsis (and Tiny Revolutions) with Tiff StevensonTop Stories!The BugleThe Last Post with Alice FraserThe Bugle Ashes UrncastBush's Board Game Thing Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hi, it's producer Chris from The Bugle here. Did you know that I have a new series of my podcast, Richie Firth Travel Hacker, out now? It's the show where Richie Firth and I talk about how to make travel better in our very special way. In this series, we discuss line bikes, Teslas, the London overground, and a whole bunch of other random stuff that possibly involves wheels
Starting point is 00:00:22 or tracks or engines of some variety. God, what a hot sell this is. I mean, you must be so excited. Listen now. ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Every sport has their big, juicy controversy. Boxing has the Mike Tyson ear bite.
Starting point is 00:00:49 Cycling has Lance Armstrong. Baseball has its steroid era. Curling has... Broomgate. It's a story of broken relationships, houses divided, corporate rivalry, and a performance-enhancing broom. It was a year I'd like to forget. Broomgate, available now. Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere.
Starting point is 00:01:20 Acast.com. This is a podcast from The Bugle. and family who truly love you. Your work isn't just personally fulfilling. It contributes something meaningful to the world, but it's still not enough. Therapy, religion, philosophy. You donate organs, steal organs. You start a fight club and steal at hungers, black and empty inside you. What does it want?
Starting point is 00:01:55 You're ready to check out entirely, sign up for an online conspiracy just so that you can feel whole or worse, tune out of life and watch syndicated 90s sitcoms for eternity to block the pain. A life without contentment isn't life. And then it happens. It's what you've been looking for all these years.
Starting point is 00:02:09 It's what you've spent your life yearning for. More nourishing than any meal. More spiritually fulfilling than any belief. More beloved by everybody than Raymond himself. It's the gargle. The Sonic Glossy Magazine interviews all in a newspaper for Visual World. All of the news, none of the politics. I'm your host, Alice Fraser, and your guest editors of this week's edition of the magazine
Starting point is 00:02:28 are Pippa Evans and John Luke Roberts. Welcome. Hello. Hello. Hello. Thank you for having me. Well, thank you for having me as well. I feel like that everyone loves Raymond joke would have worked better if I hadn't pronounced
Starting point is 00:02:40 it Raymond. I think that's like the continental version of the show. That's how they pronounce it over there. We'll just change all the words. So, Iveriwauw lose, Raymond. Maybe it's Toulouse, Raymond. It's the French edition. Before we hack through the ice and begin ice fishing the stories for this week,
Starting point is 00:03:03 let's have a look at the front cover of the magazine. The front cover of the magazine this week is Sam Bankman-Fried and Elon Musk posing provocatively with the torn emotions of the educated elite. Clickbait writers across the world are popping bottles of champagne and writing headlines like, What to do with your time when someone else is doing your job for you? Or climate change, the war in Ukraine and six other world events
Starting point is 00:03:25 that will no longer be making headlines. What is journalism anyway? I've been enjoying Twitter, actually. I feel like it's more fun than it has been for a very long time, despite functioning less well than it has for a very long time. I find it amazing that everyone's going to move to another platform which nobody can pronounce. Is this Mastodon?
Starting point is 00:03:44 Mastodon. raymond isn't it that's right yeah raymond yeah raymond uh mastodon and then and it's the least it seems to be the least easy to use platform so everybody's going to leave this platform because everyone's upset with elon musk and i don't even know what he's done because i've been following twitter to find out what elon musk has done and all i can see is that a lot of people are upset with elon musk and they're leaving to go to mastodon so so i i actually struggling to understand why what the what's the problem here the problem is genuinely i i don't really understand what the problem is every billionaire
Starting point is 00:04:22 has a news outlet why are we more upset by this than like murdoch owning everything or you know everyone owning like that's sort of what you do once you've bought everything in the world you buy facts exactly he's bought space now he's bought he's bought and he bought um underwater tried to buy underwater drowning didn't he and then uh and now he's bought twitter so he'll just buy it all it's only as horrifying as everything else if you know exactly i guess there's just been time for like the anger for murdoch owning everything to like dissipate a bit whereas this is brand new he's just done it fresh delightful anger but he's also delighted because he's doing
Starting point is 00:05:02 it so sort of incompetently like constantly changing decisions every half hour new chicks new chicks no checks new ticks new ticks new ticks new ticks new tech new tech new ticks all that we'd be paying have you got a tick have either of you got a tick so i've got a tick but and then someone said i was gonna have to pay eight pounds for a tick and then i don't and then i don't have no one's sent me an invoice so i'm assuming i don't have to pay eight pounds for my tick but i still have my tick so are they going to take away my tick or am i is this the new tiktok i believe you can click on the tick and find out whether the person has the tick because they're notable or whether they have the tick because they've paid eight pounds for it which makes paying for it sort of humiliating because somebody can click on it go
Starting point is 00:05:45 yeah they pay for that so there'll be like a tick with a little dollar sign next to it or something this is the ticking clock ticking down the tick value there were other ticks there were gray ticks for a while i don't know if they're still there it's a terrible thing the whole thing i mean the nice thing about it is the transparency of showing how badly kind of software iteration, you know, cool high-tech bro move fast and break things stuff actually in real life is just the chaotic aroundery of people who can afford for something to keep failing because they have rich parents.
Starting point is 00:06:21 Like that's kind of like you can afford to fail 80 million times until your startup works. I think that's the nature of these like startups in a garage is that their parents are lending them the garage and paying their phone bills. Well, exactly. Chances of success happen to be fairly high. I suppose it's also a bit like when,
Starting point is 00:06:42 do you remember when Facebook first changed its layout? Why brat when? Probably 2010 or something. And so actually this has happened before. We have been through this before, guys. We will get through it. And everyone was going, I'm leaving Facebook. And there was people doing online petitions to stop them changing, you know, where your favourite people were or your photo. And everyone said they were going to leave.
Starting point is 00:07:10 Well, everyone's outraged because they're like, it's the public square, it's the public square. And you're like, it's the public square in the company town, mate. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's never been the real thing. You're on private land, my friend. The satirical cartoon this week, workers, a pair of workers boarding up the US Capitol building.
Starting point is 00:07:29 Passerby says, expecting zombies. And the worker says, sort of. That's our satirical cartoon. The only place in this podcast where we can do politics. Now it's time for our top story. Top story is the philanthropy section.
Starting point is 00:07:43 Jeff Bezos has given Dolly Parton $100 million to give to other people. Pippa, you're a big Dolly fan. Can you unpack this story for us? I mean, if I was going to give $100 million to anyone, we would all trust Dolly with it, wouldn't we? Although I wouldn't be surprised if you went to Dollywood next year, there might be some new fancy ride up and you go who paid for that dolly and she goes ah oh oh my blessings are oh i will i don't know i don't wish to say uh but she and she's we know
Starting point is 00:08:14 she's a philanthropist so so it sort of sort of makes sense um if i was going to give it to a country music star obviously my first choice would be Johnny Cash just for the headline um but I probably couldn't trust him my second choice would probably be Carrie Underwood um uh no no actually I wouldn't trust Carrie Underwood because she had that song Something in the Water she's been worried about the quality of the water in her area for a while she still hasn't done anything about it so I understand why Bezos chose Dolly from the point of view of if I was going to choose a country music star to give $100 million to, I'm not quite sure how he got to I need to give $100 million to a country music star. And But instead, he's kind of gone through the second person. So I'm not quite sure why he's done that.
Starting point is 00:09:10 Well, he started these awards, which are called the Courage and Civility Awards, which recognizes leaders who pursue solutions with courage and civility. And the fact that he's included civility in the name of the award is just such a token of him going, I've been so badly internet bullied. I need my revolutionaries to be polite, you know, because that's how change happens is by polite people with like, excuse me, madam, come to the guillotine. It wouldn't have taken much work for him to get that to be an acronym of CUCK, which would have been a lot more fun. Jeff Bezos CUCK Awards.
Starting point is 00:09:49 Well, Dolly Parton gave a book to my niece because my niece was born in Peckham Rye. Oh, she was probably given that by Jeff Bezos because, of course, Amazon's a bookshop, so that's probably how it got to her. Oh, right. Yes. It's a scam.
Starting point is 00:10:04 This is the same as Matt Hancock just giving all his friends all the PPI. What's it called? CPR? PPP? The masks. Yes, the contracts. I think Bezos' thinking was probably, I am a rich person that everybody hates. I can make them like me by giving some money to a rich person everybody likes I think you're absolutely right uh John Luke because if there's any way that you can affiliate yourself with Dolly Parton you you immediately become uh the coolest person she's
Starting point is 00:10:38 she's gonna have to change the lyrics to the song though because it's not working nine to five what a way to earn a living it's waiting for Jeffff bezos to give me 100 million dollars for me to redistribute what a way to make a living now it's time for our ads section your ad section now because you can't be what you can't buy you love your family you care about their health and you know natural is always better. Well, you know what doesn't naturally chip? Potatoes. And you know what does naturally chip? Paint. So do what's right for your family and feed them new Smith's cheese and onion paint chips.
Starting point is 00:11:16 All natural, all paint. Grandma, what big teeth you have. No, I'm serious. Those are really big, like not even wolves have teeth that big. Wait, you're not grandma. Sabre-toothed tigers, for when regular tigers aren't dangerous enough. War, famine, pestilence, death, and yet somehow comforting. No, it's not the four horsemen of the apocalypse, it's the past. You like to imagine it, you wish you could go back to it, you've forgotten how awful it was. Why make the future better when you can retreat to the past?
Starting point is 00:11:45 The past. Did we mention it often smelled really bad? Some things just go together. Toast and butter, wolves and howling at the moon, and now a glass and about half that glass's carrying capacity in water. What, are you some kind of idiot who wants to put the water on the outside of the glass? Half a glass of water, brought to you by the gargle.
Starting point is 00:12:03 On the outside of the glass, half a glass of water brought to you by the gargle. ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Every sport has their big, juicy controversy. Boxing has the Mike Tyson ear bite. Cycling has Lance Armstrong. Baseball has its steroid era. Curling has Broomgate. It's a story of broken relationships, houses divided, corporate rivalry, and a performance-enhancing broom. It was a year I'd like to forget. It was a year I'd like to forget.
Starting point is 00:12:45 Broomgate. Available now. Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts. Everywhere. Acast.com Now it's time for our crypto section. This is the crypto news that Sam Bankman-Fried, crypto darling of the left-wing slash Democrat Party, if you think those two things are the same thing, which they aren't, effective altruist, Bahamanian maniac, has gone on the run,
Starting point is 00:13:21 stolen everybody's money and ruined faith in crypto for all. John Luke Roberts, you have about a billion dollars in shitcoin. Can you unpack this story for us? Well, I'm obviously very upset because of the money I've lost through this with my crypto stock. Now, his name is spelt Sam Bankman Fried, but it's pronounced Sam Bankman Freed. This seems to be...
Starting point is 00:13:47 Yes. That's most of what I know about him. I read that he's considered the most trusted... He was considered the most trusted man in crypto, which seems like sort of damning with faint praise, you know. I mean, and he's got a thing called Fdx and he's ruined people's lives by saying this money's not real money but it's real money and it turns out that the money's not real money but he's got it and it is not real money but he's got the not real money is that right that's this yes
Starting point is 00:14:14 yeah that's that's basically it they just in the 30s they separated investment banking from deposit holding and these guys there hang on the 30 back there. Hang on. The 30s. In the 30s, banks decided that you needed to separate investment banking from deposit holding so that you didn't use people's money to gamble and f*** it all out in the stream. And these crypto guys cannot keep their hands off people's money. Partly maybe because they think money is imaginary, but it is truly like he collateralized his debt with a coin that he made up and his excuse for that is but i really believed it could become real like that i just believed in it really hard and therefore it was okay for me to literally steal and throw away other people's money uh so he's sort of like geppetto yes yeah the money's
Starting point is 00:15:04 gonna be a real boy it's in some crypto whales's belly at the moment but it'll escape and come back to daddy um that's that's what's gonna happen um i did i did a tongue twister if you would like at home to help you understand cryptocurrency which is uh sam bankman freed money from the bank man if the money bankman freed freed sorry if the money bankman freed money from the bank, man. If the money Bankman freed was money at all, how many money has Bankman freed? And the answer is all of it. That would have worked better if I'd said it straight. I could take that again.
Starting point is 00:15:37 Just proves that it's a really good tongue twister. That's true. I'll try it again. Sam Bankman freed money from the bank, man. If the money Bankman freed was money at all, how many. Sam Bankman freed money from the bank. Man, if the money Bankman freed freed was money at all, how many money has Bankman freed? And the answer is all of it or none of it, depending on how real you think money is.
Starting point is 00:15:54 Pippa? Well, I read that he got some of his biggest investments whilst doing a meeting, whilst playing a computer game in the middle of the meeting. So, I mean, who who if I did that imagine if I sat here right now you'd I mean this is simply a podcast you'd ask me to leave if I started playing Super Mario Brothers while we were doing this uh so I and it just shocks me that um we're kind of back to the boys in their garages burning things because mom and daddy are paying for it. So in a way, I'm like, yeah, see, suckers, stop trusting the silly rich boys.
Starting point is 00:16:33 Yeah, stick it to the men. Yeah, well, I think the big disaster for everyone here was that he was the second largest, or he's one of the largest donors to the Democratic Party. And his parents were Stanford professors. He's one of the largest donors to the Democratic Party and his parents were Stanford professors. So unlike many crypto maniacs, he is not some right-wing kid trying to start an island with a consent age of 12. He was one of the good guys.
Starting point is 00:16:55 But it turns out that even the good guys are bad guys when it comes to playing with imaginary money. Well, did you ever get paid in cash for a gig? Yes. You know when you've got a little envelope and it'd be like £120 in cash. You feel like you rule the world, you know. You feel like amazing.
Starting point is 00:17:14 You're like, look at my cash, hold my hand. That's what £120 in cash does. Imagine what three trillion imaginary dollars does to your brain. It's true. And I mean, so much of the incentive of cryptocurrency is just what if there was money, but it was mine?
Starting point is 00:17:31 And I think that's a very intoxicating idea, let alone the fact that they were all living in the Bahamas, micro dosing on various macro drugs. I feel like generally the terrible thing about cryptocurrency is that some of the people really believed in about cryptocurrency is that some of the people really believed in the like technology and some of the people really believed in the future,
Starting point is 00:17:50 but most people who bought into cryptocurrency bought in because some crypto bro on a podcast told them to. And they would have done the same thing if it had been boner pills. But in this instance, it sort of worked and now they think they're smart what we're saying with crypto is it's all imaginary but all money is imaginary because if you when we get angry with the billionaires we're like oh we shouldn't have billionaires all everyone ever says is well they don't actually have it in liquid it's not a liquid form they don't they can't actually get the money so so you say so all those billionaires don't actually have the money so nobody actually has the money they all just imagine money. Everyone is just imagining money, which makes me... Yes, but some, all money is imaginary, but some money is more imaginary than others, I think. I think cryptocurrency is to
Starting point is 00:18:34 making money what pornography is to sex. Like none of the rules of physics seem to apply. And when you try to convert it into reality, it's a lot messier than you anticipated, probably illegal, and you're going to strain your groin. Now it's time for our review section. As you know, each week we ask our guests to bring in something to review out of five stars. Pippa, what have you brought in for us this week? I'd like to review the vending machine in the Malmaison Hotel in Newcastle where I was at the weekend um which was interesting because you
Starting point is 00:19:06 couldn't there was no so there was no mini bar when i'm at listeners malmaison's quite a nice hotel so you'd expect there to be a little mini bar maybe with some chocolate macadamia nuts for sure none of that no no no i'm surprised that it's a it's a good hotel given that the name sort of means bad house i guess what is a hotel but a bad house? Well, you've got to remember it was built in the sort of 90s when bad meant good. So the vending machine, so instead you're supposed to go down to the vending machine and get what you want. Now, this isn't like a vending machine you get in a travel lodge or a Premier Inn. That's not me disrespecting the Premier Inn or the travel lodge.
Starting point is 00:19:40 I'm just simply explaining that my most experience with vending machines is within those two hotels uh and this one uh has has actually got half a bottle of champagne in it for 35 pounds from a vending machine that's pretty high quality isn't it um wait wait is it a half-sized bottle of champagne or is it just someone yes half champagne half tap water. Or if somebody just poured half a bottle of champagne into the machine. You do have to put your head into the machine with your mouth open to drink it.
Starting point is 00:20:16 So I was going to give it five stars because it had such high quality things. And it also had your Kit Kats, the things we really want from a vending machine. but then i needed to use my breast pump because i'm breastfeeding and the batteries ran out and there were no um no batteries in the vending machine so instead i had to ask a sound engineer if i had any batteries and i didn't tell him what they were for but he said don't worry we've all run out of batteries for our breast pump so he knew so there's two lessons in there one is don't assume that men don't know about breast pumps and two always bring spare batteries I would say the
Starting point is 00:20:58 answer is the lesson is don't assume that the sound engineer isn't listening into your conversation. There's that. There's that as well. So, yeah, so four stars out of five for the vending machine and the Malmaison. That's quite a high rating, given the lack of batteries. Well, because it had everything else that I could have wanted. Oh, she didn't mention the sound guy was in the vending machine. That's how I got the battery.
Starting point is 00:21:26 I had to press sound machine. £27 equals. John, Luke, what have you brought in for us? I'd like for you pasta. Pasta is a foodstuff popular in Italy and now around the world. It's made from mixing wheat flour generally with water or egg, although you can also make a gluten-free version using flours from rice or legumes, for example, like beans. It seems to have originated in the first century
Starting point is 00:21:56 as a thing called Ligana, which is a precursor to modern lasagna because you've got it in sheets or making it into shapes. There's a thought that pasta came from Marco Polo's trip back from China, but actually that was created by an ad company in the 1920s and 30s. Pasta comes in all sorts of shapes. You get the ribbon ones, you get the long ones, you get the long flat ones, you get the shorter flat ones.
Starting point is 00:22:18 But I don't like any of the shapes. So I give pasta one out of five. Delightful. any of the shapes so i give pester one out of five uh delightful i don't normally review anything um but i'm going to review uh your facial hair uh john leaguerobits because on my screen the fact that you are you're aging very gracefully you're getting a slightly salt and pepper um beard my computer screen is reading that as a blur function. So for me, it looks like you have a really artificial mouth, CGI mouth. Good. I'm glad. Like that thing where Superman had a moustache for another movie
Starting point is 00:22:59 and he wouldn't shave it, so his whole mouth was just really unconvincing. I think he contractually wasn't allowed to shave it. I think that was what was behind that. I'm sorry, men. I know it's Movember, but no moustache is that precious. Now it's time for your animal section. Animal section now. Otters are being protected against spacecraft.
Starting point is 00:23:25 John Luke, you've held hands while floating on your back in the water before. Can you unpack this story for us? So apparently there is a place called the Saxavore Spaceport on Unst. Unst is, I think, an island. It's certainly somewhere in the Shetlands. Spaceport the building so they can shoot off vertical rockets into the air from britain which why not um nice to nice to nice to have a hobby and um there's there's wildlife they
Starting point is 00:23:52 need to protect so they're making little little holes soundproof holes for the otters to hide from the spacecraft instead of doing the thing which is obviously the coolest thing which is to train the otters to fly the spacecraft so that could do with both things the sound would be such a problem because they'd be up there they'd have the little helmets on they could go and explore space imagine an alien civilization a rocket finally turns up you open the door and these little otters come out you'd think that the earth was lovely and also not worth going for because it's just full of fish so i think um they've done the wrong thing but I'm glad that they're doing something. That's my take on most news stories. I think that you're absolutely right.
Starting point is 00:24:34 They should be sending the otters, but I think you're incorrect in the fact that they're cute because otters are actually one of the most violent of the water wildlife animals. They can be very aggressive. And so actually they will protect the earth. Maybe it's just a different way we look at things, John Luke Roberts, is that I imagine that the aliens would see them and go, oh, so sweet, try and pet them.
Starting point is 00:24:57 And then they would eat all of the aliens and protect us from their ever invading. And also we'd have fewer otters on the planet. So we'd be safer from otter attacks. Exactly. Because that's why I've never been to Unst. Well, I mean, it's sort of an odd thing where they're trying to create these protective noise shells rather than putting the spaceport somewhere else.
Starting point is 00:25:15 The review of the wildlife in the area found that some wildlife were, quote, particularly sensitive to sudden noise events. were, quote, particularly sensitive to sudden noise events. I want to know what animal is not sensitive to a f***ing spaceship. Maybe a rhino? What a rhino. No, a rhino is very delicate. Why don't they do a deal with Philips and just get loads of really tiny noise-cancelling headphones?
Starting point is 00:25:46 Put them on the otters. That would help their cute factor. I think you've bought into the bad press about rhinos. Rhinos are incredibly delicate and sensitive creatures and will only go near virgins. That's why I've never seen one. Right, guys? Wait, what? I'm suggesting that rhinos are just unicorns.
Starting point is 00:26:08 Oh, I see. Right. I thought, because you sounded so convincing, I thought, oh, we're getting a fact from Alice. And then it went there. I thought, oh, I wonder why. Oh, that's strange. Strange detail.
Starting point is 00:26:19 Genuinely a problem for my life that I can sound convincing when I'm trying to be obviously making a joke and then alternately when I'm trying to be sincere, often I'll sound sarcastic. Of course. The problem is if you're building soundproof holes for rhinos, the holes are too big. You end up with too many holes, not enough land,
Starting point is 00:26:36 so there's nothing for the rocket. But they're not holes, they're just tunnels. Yeah. I'm sort of interested in the technology that creates soundproof holes because screaming into a butthole doesn't work, so I'm sort of interested in the technology that creates soundproof holes because screaming into a butthole doesn't work so I'm wondering Does it work in what way?
Starting point is 00:26:52 It doesn't ruffle the sound Oh I was wondering, what are you hoping to achieve? Maybe it does work to that end You have to set your goals before you That's Alice's other podcast Now it's time for our sports slash drug section. And this is the news that Italy's senior referee in football is actually a drug boss.
Starting point is 00:27:17 Pippa Evans, you're a drug boss. Can you unpack this story for us? Yeah, this is just, I mean, everyone who's watched breaking bad is going where this is ridiculous how can a man who runs a chicken shop be a massive drug baron and yet here we have real life where one of the top referees in italy is secretly a drug trafficker nicknamed rambo and i i think it's incredible incredible that he's living this double life and he managed to ship six tons of marijuana from Spain,
Starting point is 00:27:52 which I feel like, and I'm not just basing this on my knowledge from Breaking Bad, that doesn't sound like that much. Is that much? And marijuana, I feel like in drug baron terms, you're kind of quite on the low rung if it's just six tons of marijuana. You wouldn't go to the drug baron drinks party and be shouting about that, would you?
Starting point is 00:28:12 It is an enormous amount of marijuana to transport, particularly considering he's a football referee, which means none of his mules can use their hands at all. their hands at all. That does raise the question of like, would it be in football, you can kick it with your feet and you can knock it with your head, but can you also store it up your bumhole? Is that allowed as a way of getting it past the defence before bending over and popping it into the goal?
Starting point is 00:28:40 Have they written it down that you can't? We'll have to check. You've got to scream in and see if there's an echo. That's the only... They say a duck's quack doesn't echo, but it depends. Well, it's very hard to get the beak open once it's in there. I'm so sorry, the bill. As I think the only person on this Zoom call
Starting point is 00:28:59 who hasn't had a speculum up them, I don't think you can talk about duck beaks in holes. speculum up them, I don't think you can talk about duck pigs in holes. That's speculamation, actually, Alice. You're quite right. I guess the reason this would wind someone up is because referees are meant to be great upholders of law and order, and he's not. Is that right? Well, yeah. I mean, it's a real embarrassment for the Football Association
Starting point is 00:29:29 to have a drug lord sort of in their ranks because, A, it implies they're not paying him well enough, and, B, they've come out and said that they had been kept in the dark by D'Onofrio and they were the victims of a real betrayal, which implies that they thought he kept in the dark by D'Onofrio. And they were the real, the victims of a real betrayal, which implies that they thought he'd tell them. And if he had told them, they'd have been all right with it. Yeah, it's the betrayal that hurts. It's not the cheating on me.
Starting point is 00:29:56 It's not the cheating on me with drugs. It's the fact that you didn't tell me about it. What different press conference it would have been as well if they'd said, oh, yeah, no, we know. Yeah, that's fine. That's where we our drugs um so it's a natural pain relief so actually it's really helped us with our medical bill on the bright side he's 42 which is good i feel like that's a good age to be doing criminal activities it's a reliable age to be doing criminal activities i think it's i'm happy that he's both a drug kingpin and a senior official in the association of football referees uh sam backman freed is 30 i don't think anyone should
Starting point is 00:30:30 be given any responsibility at the age of 30 and when he asked for a billion dollars people should have asked for his mummy that's all the time we have for our show today we have reached the end of the show we are flipping through the ads at the back. Pippa Evans, what have you got to plug? Oh, I'm on tour with I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Clue. So you can look up the dates for that around the UK. And that will be a fun, lovely, lovely day out for you and probably your mum and dad. John Luke, what have you got to plug?
Starting point is 00:31:01 I will be touring a bit my show. Well, just like our own, but... in the new year. Tour dates include Norway at the Crap Comedy Festival, the Adelaide Fringe, and three nights at the Soho Theatre on the 13th to 15th of February. That's a delightfully sort of haphazard arrangement of places and dates. So just Google John Luke Roberts and go to his website and see if he's in your town
Starting point is 00:31:28 because he might be, it seems like. He might be. Oh, he's in Leicester as well and somewhere else. Yeah, there you go. I am Alice Fraser. You can find me online at on probably Twitter if it still exists and Instagram or
Starting point is 00:31:43 at Alice Fraser on Mastodon, because I'm trying to figure that out. Like a rat sinking a fleeing ship. That's me. Also, I'm putting out Kronos in the next week or so, and that will be available via my Patreon, patreon.com slash Alice Fraser, or on YouTube after that.
Starting point is 00:32:11 But if you want it early, come to Patreon, patreon.com slash alicefraser. This is a Bugle Podcast and Alice Fraser production. Your executive producer is Chris Skinner. Your editor this week is Laura Turner. I'll talk to you again next week.

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