The Gargle - Gamer leaks | Black widows | Thirsty AI

Episode Date: April 20, 2023

Tom Neenan and Alison Spittle join host Alice Fraser for episode 108 of The Gargle - the glossy magazine to The Bugle's audio newspaper for a visual world.All of the news, none of the politics.🎮 Gamer leaks🕷 Black widows💡 Insect lights🚰 Thirsty AI🧩 ReviewsProduced by Ped Hunter and Chris Skinner. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi, it's producer Chris from The Bugle here. Did you know that I have a new series of my podcast, Richie Firth Travel Hacker, out now? It's the show where Richie Firth and I talk about how to make travel better in our very special way. In this series, we discuss line bikes, Teslas, the London overground, and a whole bunch of other random stuff that possibly involves wheels

or tracks or engines of some variety. God, what a hot sell this is. I mean, you must be so excited. Listen now. ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Every sport has their big, juicy controversy. Boxing has the Mike Tyson ear bite.

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Acast.com. This is a podcast from The Bugle. The champion, huge in his plate armour, roves across the front, surveying his men, sensing their tension. He draws his sword and raises it above his head, catching the first gold of the rising sun and draws breath for his war cry. To the gargle! This is the gargle. The Sonic Glossy Magazine to the Bugles, audio newspaper for a visual world. I'm your host, Alice Fraser, and your guest editors for this week's edition of the magazine are Tom Neenan, welcome. Hello, thank you very much. And Alison Spittel, welcome, welcome. Pew, pew, pew, pew. Very happy to be here, Alice.

Thanks for having me on. Thank you for the individual introductions this time. I don't know if that's a policy change, but now I feel comfortable and I feel properly welcome, so thank you. It's good because the listeners will definitely know which one is Alison and which one is Tom now. Exactly. Otherwise it would be a nightmare. It is a policy change. I did a whiteboard with the upstairs, which is me. That's the word I have for the part of my head. And I was like, every week it just casts the two people that I announce into slight confusion about who should go first. So I'll just say you one at a time and then confusion about who should go first. So I'll just say you one at a time

and then you know who should go first, but I want you to know that it's not about who's first in my heart, because we all know that's Alison. Of course. I was confused when you said my name first. I was like, well, that is... That goes against what I was expecting. I just want to get you out of the way quickly. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, before we sit down at the overly long dining table that is this week's top stories let's have a look at our front cover the front cover this week is keanu reeves uh he's not in the news particularly it's just nice to look at someone who looks so nice he does look so nice doesn't he and everyone loves him for having an age-appropriate partner like that's the low bar we set for famous men wow he seems like a fairly benevolent dude i think if i looked into him i would find out that he was even nicer and i would be more impressed by him but i fear research i fear research because then inevitably you find something dreadful.

There's a lovely video of him online of him helping crew members carry up equipment up the steps to the Sacre Coeur where they were filming John Wick Chapter 4. So I think your research, if anything, will yield even more charming and heartwarming results, I hope. But then that's dangerous because then I would have to fall in love with Keanu Reeves and steal him from his age-appropriate girlfriend, which I could do.

I'm incapable of doing and I'm only choosing not to out of the goodness of my heart and a failure of research. The satirical cartoon this week is a picture of Fox News paying Dominion Voting Systems $787.5 million. It just warms the cockles of your heart. They settled the case. If you don't know, they settled the case, which is good, I think, sort of an admission of guilt.

It would have been nice to run it through the courts, though, wouldn't it? Wouldn't it have been nice? Wasn't it 1.2 billion they were potentially going to pay? Yes, yeah. Which is slightly more but you know when you're into it when you're into that amount of money i guess it's all just annoying that you have to pay it isn't it yes i think it is and there's a breaking news section which i

don't usually have we don't usually have a breaking news section but this is a an honor reserved for a story that is just so gargle that we don't have time oh it just comes up and we go oh this has to come in a top scottish ultra marathon runner has been disqualified from a race for using a car during part of the route yeah they finished third in the 2023 great britain ultras manchester liverpool 50 mile race but they're thought to have traveled by car for 2.5 miles of the route because they were being tracked so at one point of the race the tracking indicated that they had they had driven a mile in 1 minute and 40 seconds it's their second wind, you know. That's a blue zade. Yeah.

I'd love to, whatever energy company that is, get into the sponsorship of that. That's amazing. That alone would be enough to make it a gargle breaking news story. But a friend has apologised on behalf of the runner and saying that they felt sick and that were sorry for any upset that they'd caused, which I think is too much of a minimization. But the director of the TV Ultras race, whose name is Wayne Drinkwater.

No! No! No! He has to be a garglenist. Yeah. I'd love if his dad had a second family and they were and their children referred to him as wayne drinkwater my half a brother he'd be half a glass of drink the incredible gargle inside baseball

why can you fit inside a baseball, Alison? About half a glass of water. Half a glass of water, yeah. Which brings us to our top story of this week, which is our espionage news. A Pentagon leak has been traced to a video game chat group. Users who were arguing over the war in Ukraine leaked secret documents in a Discord. It seems like it could be politics,

but I think it's so stupid that it's transcended politics and become gaming news. Tom Neenah, you've leaked top secret data before, or you've leaked top secret something. Can you unpack this story? Certainly, espionage, my favourite S word. And this is all about the fact that the Pentagon... That's not very good.

Straight in there. Makes no sense. Love it, Tom. So Pentagon information has been leaked on Discord, which is obviously completely unacceptable because we know that Discord is only there for sharing uh misogyny and homophobic slurs that is that is its job 100 that is no place in the armed forces exactly what do they think this is come on guys get your act together first of all what do they

expect calling that platform discord because as far as i'm aware there's only four things that you can sew and that's thread seed confusion and discord so it's it's bad it's bad but yeah so basically it was i believe it was about it's quite grim the uh estimated casualties at the basmuk theater which was a an attack in um in ukraine um but um but it was leaked and apparently appeared on a Discord channel that was about the Minecraft Earth map apparently and there's loads more that have been on, there's a game called War Thunder I think which has had a number of leaks associated with

that Discord server as well which does lead me to think that like Woodward and Bernstein, would they have got more like work done would they have been even more successful if they just spent all their time playing Pong? That's what, you know. Are all the secrets here, basically, via video games?

Because, you know, I'm pretty sure at some point they'll, you know, somewhere in the Independence Day Discord server where people are chatting about Independence Day, someone will be like, oh, it's not a very realistic film. And then someone else will be like, well, here are my pictures from Area 51. So I think you'll find it's actually very realistic. This is going to happen more and more, isn't it?

That we're going to be people playing video games going to end up sharing secret government information. Is it good? Is it bad? I don't know. That's for the courts to decide. And they're going to decide it's bad. So I guess that's... Well, the thing is that it happens with such surprising regularity that

people get so hit up about an argument that's happening on a gaming forum that they will go out of their way to to leak top secret information as you say war thunder has been responsible for at least 10 separate cases of confidential oh my god it since 2020 so that's 10 in the last uh three years two and a half years i don't know how time passes uh allison spittle have you ever um leaked confidential information uh not government but definitely maybe on this podcast too much about my friends and family but um the what was interesting to me is that like a lot of people that are in the army seem to play army games which seems like a busman's holiday

you know i feel like if i was a footballer would i be playing fifa all the time or uh you know i go that's not how I would celebrate and then just record yourself celebrating to show them. Or like if I was a very rich English lady, would I be playing Tomb Raider all the time and saying, that's not how I would lock my butler into a freezer. This is how I would do it normally. That's all I used to do when I played Tomb Raider is I used to try and lock my butler into a freezer and this is how i would do it normally because uh that's all i used to do

when i played tomb raider is i used to like try and lock my butler into a freezer i'm i'm working class but not when i play games especially grand theft auto or anything like that i'm like i'm very much uh i want to see the world burn i always thought video games for that for wish fulfillment you know the way that the way that children play minecraft because we won't let them go down the pits anymore oh like i used to buy the cheapest microwave possible on the sims the cheapest couches i used to like just go up like a tinderbox and make a swimming pool take away the ladder i am a deeply evil person

who should not be given power and I've learnt that through the Sims and through Tomb Raider, I've no class solidarity, like straight away I'm on the side of the oppressor all the time when it comes to video games I mean I think that's good to know that about yourself, I think that maybe democracy

would be a lot better if we didn't let people have a vote but we just figured out who was the nicest to their little characters on the sims and made them the prime i just realized the other day that i'm literally only playing the last of us because i want to know what it's like to be protected by pedro pascal that is it like it's very comforting your ad section now because you can't be what you can't buy. And this episode of the podcast is brought to you by Falling Autumn Leaves. Nature gets depressed about winter coming too. I mean, this doesn't work for most of our listeners who are not in the hemisphere I'm in.

Oh, yeah, it's very nice here. Spring. I'm concentrating too hard. Is this you? Do you have too much concentration try diluting your concentration by getting up to fetch yourself about half a glass of water hey she's here what a wet episode and she sells seashells by the seashore. Does seeing seashells make you long to hear the sound of the sea? Try ears. Ears. The best-selling head shell.

ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Every sport has their big, juicy controversy. Boxing has the Mike Tyson ear bite. Cycling has Lance Armstrong. Baseball has its steroid era. Curling has... Broomgate.

It's a story of broken relationships, houses divided, corporate rivalry, and a performance-enhancing broom. It was a year I'd like to forget. Broomgate. Available now. Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts. Everywhere. Acast.com Now it's time for our Black Widow section. This is two Black Widow stories in one week. How blessed we are.

By Black Widows, who it has been found by science, are disproportionately drawn to biting men and their penises uh alice's spittle you said some biting things about men and their penises can you unpack this story i was very interested in this story so apparently uh this is data collected between 1950 and 1959 i love how long it's taken us to analyze this data but uh because it was too soon for these men who've got bitten on the penises but um the data on black widow bites were collected in the u.s during which time 63 people died majority of those people about

80 of those were men and uh it happened on their penises and apparently the skin is thinner on a penis which was interesting to me because I just thought they were thinner on men generally when it comes to when it comes to certain things but like the skin is, there's a lot of nerves

there and there's a neurotoxin venom so being bitten the genitals sends the venom going uh into your body in a faster or stronger way so i suppose it's the dick equivalent of doing cocaine in a way uh you know the venom goes straight into your bloodstream and it's asked the question but why do black widow spiders bite so many males on the penis uh which i think is a very interesting question apparently black widow spiders bite so many males on the penis uh which i think is a very interesting question apparently black widow spiders spiders do not want to bite you uh but will only do so when they feel threatened and so when someone took their lad out the black one no

and bites him on the penis i love this story it's such a it's such a great story because it involves penises and I'm thinking they ask the question like why do black widow spiders go for penises well they're widows you can't blame a widow for wanting to get some dick that's my and I will

bring up this story the next time anyone complains about too much teeth being used during fellatio I'll be like you should be lucky that it's not a black widow spider because you would be in A&E right now a merry widow indeed I read a different report which said that

the reason this happened mainly between 1950 and 1959 was the release of the worldwide hit Making Love to My Black Widow by the Penis Munchers. I don't know if any of you heard of that. Oh, that do-walk classic, yes. Exactly, yeah, yeah, yeah. Under the boardwalk where the Black Widows live. It was huge. Everyone was singing it.

Isn't it also to do with having outside toilets as well? We don't have outside toilets anymore. So everyone's safer. Yes, the number of that has dropped. So basically the physics of how it happens so often is that the black orders would be triggered by something touching their web, which was often a man sitting down on a toilet

and his junk dangling down, hitting the web, which is, you know, why that saying comes, you should start shitting before you sit down. web which was often a man sitting down on a toilet and his junk dangling down hitting the web uh which is uh you know why that saying comes you should start shitting before you sit down also good advice for men keep your dick off the web guys that is always good advice and in other black widow news and i can't believe there's even more Black Widow news, there was a woman who had a really bad time because she crushed up a whole Black Widow spider and injected it. This is also a historical story. Both of these stories have made it into the news today

because people are suddenly obsessed with Black Widow spiders. This happened back in 1996. It feels like such a 1996 injury as well compared to the 50s. Such a 1996 injury. I feel like this is pre-Dark Web when it was just Spider Web. Also, 1996 was the release of the song Grinding Up My Black Widow to Get High by the Penis Munchers, which is a trend again.

There's one thing I want to say about this second story that this woman was I looked it up she was 37 years old when she did this it's too old to be that dumb it is too old imagine you're 37 and you're like right what have I not done

I'm going to grind up a black widow spider and what I love about it as well is that she used distilled water so she was like I'm going to crush up a spider a black widow spider and what I love about it as well is that she used distilled water so she was like I'm going to crush up a spider but I'm not just putting any old tap water into my veins I'm going to crush it up with some lovely distilled water

like practical Evian I feel like she was giving she was thinking about her safety in the wrong way like maybe she shouldn't be injecting stuff like maybe she should be worried about the water but like maybe crushing up an be injecting stuff like maybe she should should be what she's worried about the water but like uh maybe crushing up an insect and inject it into your veins isn't a good thing for your health yeah she ended up in the icu um which in this case stands for

icu had a terrible idea now it's time for your reviews in which our guest editors bring in something that they would like to review out of five stars alison spittle what have you brought in for us this week oh well this is another sincere uh review uh i went to see a play uh i went to see a play last night called strike it's based on the story about these working class women who worked in a supermarket in Dublin. And they were getting sexually harassed within the supermarket. And they decided, because their union had said, we don't want to handle any products that have been made in apartheid South Africa. Normally, they didn't know enough about apartheid South Africa.

But because they were pissed off at work so much, they went strike and it lasted for two years nine months and ireland was the first ever country to not handle uh to put in a lot to not handle apartheid made goods so it's interesting it's really really great play um and it's on until the coronation and it's in borough borough playhouse so suffolk? I can never pronounce it. Tom Neenan, love. How do I pronounce it? It's Southwark, it's spelling, but I've said it several bad ways.

I definitely won't. How would you pronounce it? I always pronounce it S-U-T-H-A-R-K, so Suffolk. Suffolk, like that. Okay, so it's in Suffolk Playhouse, in Borough, and it's an amazing play, and it's an amazing play,

and it's an amazing piece of history that isn't really known that much about, and it's just a fun, lovely play. It's got loads of 80s songs in it, and I really had a great time. So there's my sincere... I've been doing some sincere reviews lately because the batteries just ain't kicking it anymore.

So hopefully... this is what they say you know modern culture you can't write a play like that anymore you can't write a play like that and it's in the supermarket because then all of the workers are just going beep also i believe that's the first time you recorded history that an irish person has asked an english person how to pronounce a place name yeah i think that is trying to be culturally sensitive to you thank you very i appreciate it and how many stars out of five is that i'm gonna give a five out of five there's no you know there's no harm in giving five out of five to something it's great uh tom what have you brought in for us right uh this is quite visual but um i know occasionally ped will take a sneaky little

picture of us on our zoom conversation so hopefully we can capture this okay and i'll get the pic i'll get the thing i'm going to be talking about as well so here we are whoa so um i got a jigsaw of my dog that i thought would be really fun and it was a nice picture of my dog in black heath park or black heath uh and i thought it's a very nice picture so here is the picture of the of my dog that's beautiful the thing thank you so the thing is while it was very nice it's a lovely picture my dog i don't know if you can see at the top there that's all sky right so that about about a third of it is just sky with very little gradient and very little to tell it apart and also either side of the dog here are is grass which while detailed is like

incredibly difficult to differentiate every single piece of grass so also if anyone like me has any kind of ocd or anxiety or anything like that i've got it into my head that if I do not complete this jigsaw puzzle, something awful will happen to my dog. Yeah. So for the last month. I was thinking that time. Maybe I've got the same OCD as you, but I was like,

that dog's going to die. Yes. So now I have been stuck for a month trying to do a thousand piece jigsaw puzzle of my dog to basically stop anything awful from happening. So while it's a five star for the delivery and everything else, it's a one star for my choice of photograph of my dog. Because now I'm terrified basically that something will happen if I don't complete this jigsaw. So I'm stuck in a kind of limbo of me just every night spending about two hours looking at bits of grass and sky and trying to fit them together so yeah this is my living nightmare and i'm gonna give it i'm gonna give the actual jigsaw one star whoa it feels very back to the future where marty mcfly is looking at

a picture of his family and they're disappearing exactly i always thought it'd be really funny if um in that when marty mcfly's looking at a picture of his family and they're disappearing and it's just a brick wall behind them. And he's like, I've got to make this right because otherwise I'll be the kind of guy who takes photos of brick walls. Which we all know is a hipster bullshit. An artificial light news now. Science has revealed the science of why insects fly towards artificial light. And it is absolutely fascinating. Alison Spittel, you've headbutted a lamp before.

Can you unpack this story for us? How did you know? So this is a study that scientists have made. I think the big reason why they're doing this is because the human population is increasing and we're using more artificial light in cities and towns and houses. They could see that there was a decrease in the activity of flies and stuff.

And it's asking the question, why do flies hang around artificial light? Because if you pop on a light, you see flies will come to it, moths will come to it, or the television or anything like that. And I think it's the same reason why people visit the pyramids in Vegas, right? They think it's real. They get to the light and they're like, we finally made it to the sun.

So I understand for the environment why they're doing this but like uh you know emotionally i feel like the flies just want to be by the big lights it's good fun well i've always thought that flies fly to you know little insects fly towards bright lights for the same reason that the pope shits in the woods because no one's going to stop them I know Fair enough Yeah, someone needs to stop that Pope What I love is that

the scientists have a thing called a fly simulator where they look at the flying patterns of flies which feels to me, it reminds me of people that do flight simulators for planes you know, where they're just testing

I would love to see I would love to see people have an interest in flies the way that people have an interest in planes and just have people standing on the side of a table waiting for the fly to land and going yes, it's got down safely and making a note of what type of fly it is like a fruit you did so well by the way allison because that that was a doctoral thesis we were sent and i got the gist of it

but you summed it up very well because as soon as alice said my name i was like oh no it's super fascinating because the flies fly right and and the way that flies know which way is up is by the light of the sun usually or the moon or the stars or whatever it's you know cast your light by yonder star follow that star uh but then when an artificial light appears then they think that is up and so then they they end up going in circles around it. It makes their flight patterns erratic. They might end up sort of trying to go up and up and up and end up steering in and in and in and getting caught by the light or caught by the flame

or whatever it is. That makes me think that's how the three kings in the Jesus story were navigating. And imagine, we're just so lucky that artificial light didn't exist at that time. Otherwise, they would have gone way off course. And as well as that, the gifts would have been shit if it was tree flies you would have again yeah a bread comb some

a bit of mucus that's me rubbing my little hands together by the microphone basically the um what seems to be the summation of this is that while the flies think that the artificial light is like a guiding light, it's actually sending them sort of mad, which is kind of like the relationship between boomers and Facebook. So that's how I interpreted the data.

I think all of the people who are worried about being on social media making us mad are right, but also the people who are worried about being on social media making us mad are right, but also the people who run social media have already gone mad. Yeah. It's tragic. Well, it's not sufficient for them to just be the place where you go to fight with your aunt or talk about love at first sight.

They all want to be the everything app. Have you heard about that? The concept of the everything app, which is the app where you do everything everything if you want to do anything you go there to like buy stuff or look at stuff yeah watch stuff or meet people or all of it has to happen through their app because it you know there's just it's not enough of them for them to just like sell melons you have to own your stomach but now we're having the facebook originally like like people wouldn't have websites companies wouldn't bother having websites because you'd just go through Facebook

to look up information on it and then they start trying to monetize it and people are like ah actually we don't need this app as much it used to be it used to be I would post about a gig on Facebook and then people would come to that gig look some of them

some people would come to that gig and now it actively if you put gig on Facebook and then people would come to that gig, look some of them some people would come to that gig and now it actively, if you put it on Facebook it like reverses the algorithm unless you pay for it and so people are driven away by a magnetic force from your gig $1000 it does feel like it's keeping the audience to ransom

from you, like they'll just send you a body part of an audience member until you pay the eight quid to boost it to that audience or whatever. You know my favourite everything app? Life. Oh. Oh wow.

Wow. Wow. Limited edition. Yeah. Thirsty AI news and this is not although you might from our history believe that the gargle

would bring you a pornographic AI story this is the news that training chat GPT required enough water to fill a nuclear reactor's cooling tower which seems like quite a loaded sort of analogy here.

Tom Nealon, can you unpack this story? Yes, thank you. So basically, every time that you talk to a chat GPT, which I've only just found out about, it's the equivalent of pouring away a bottle of mineral water, I found out, because training that chat GPT, which is this thing that can recreate human dialogue, speech, everything else, consume 700,000 liters of water.

This is a study which was carried out by the university of, is it Orlando? The university of Orlando Riverside, which is helpful because that's where they got all the water from. And it's enough to, to yeah enough to fill a nuclear cooling reactor which to me feels slightly wasteful given that we're in a situation where lots of people don't have water that so much would be used basically so an eighth grader can cheat badly on their english assignment by basically submitting something going oh can you write me an english assignment that's like talk about hamlets and then the first thing that the chat gbc says says is we cannot

find sufficient information however here's some information about Hamlet and then they just copy and paste it I'd say it's that water could have been used more effectively elsewhere I'd say irrigating crops or pouring it onto the chat GPT servers breaking them and letting everyone

get on with their day yeah it feels others breaking them and letting everyone get on with their day. Yeah, it feels, you know, when I read the story, I was like, ooh, that's cool. A nuclear reactor doesn't need that much water then. I was actually impressed by the efficiency of a nuclear reactor being cooled. And the chat, like, I've had a lot of kind of curiosity about the chat GPT. I've asked it to write jokes for me on the gargle before when I was tested for time. Or a review, it was a review.

And I know that, like, in Ireland, because of our climate, we have a lot of data processing centers. And I used to work in a radio station and i've walked into a cool room like an actual room that's just refrigerated with computers in it and it makes me feel like i'm in james bond uh even though it's just full of rihanna but i felt incredible so this is such a this is such a... I keep forgetting that the internet requires water and requires energy to work. I just keep thinking that the internet is almost like a seventh element.

You know? It's just like earth, wind, fire. The internet. It's like one of those things. The technology is just being used at the moment to protect actual people from being screamed at by customers like it's a lot like

most of my most frustrating times with a company I've been sent to a chat GBT thing and it says like hello I'm Karen from Ryanair how may I help you and it's the same way I have this feeling when I'm doing The Sims. I'm just like f*** you Karen, even though

I know it's just a computer. But I want to be as rude to the computer as possible. To know that energy, that I've also been wasting water as well as psychologically abuse the computer. It's a lot of guilt.

You're a climate criminal or something yes I mean this all could be solved with Alice like half a glass of wine I was waiting for you I was like there must be

surely some things just write themselves although i did have the thought that your merch for the gargle alice and spittle should be how many spittles does it take to fill half a glass of water i think i think a good merch would be like a sweets in the shape of batteries for people to like a dip dab like a lollipop shaped like a battery

by the way because I feel like Gargoyle listeners will just a little call out if anyone has any knowledge about manufacturing please help me I mean I guarantee you we have somebody who's into manufacturing where can they contact you Alison

DM me on Instagram that would be fantastic somebody who's into manufacturing yeah when they contact you alison yeah dm me on on instagram that'd be fantastic it's specifically it's about manufacturing face masks that are you know the sheet face masks that are made of paper but i want to print something on it i think i can say that so i want to make my own face masks with a printable thing it's it's for my new show that's coming up in Edinburgh and I think it could be good merch. I think what we've just done is we've subtly segwayed into the ad section of the back so tell people about

your show in Edinburgh. So I got a new show in Edinburgh. It's called Soup. It's on a monkey barrel. It's at 1.35 every day I think and I'm working on a show. I'm doing some previews. Going to be doing some previews in Bath, Bristol.

Going to do one in Dublin. Manchester. Going around the world. Not around the world. Just Britain and Ireland. And also I've got a show called Wet. That's my old show from last year. I'm doing a Soho theater extra day on may 10th

so come along to that you've been lovely and i have a podcast as well and all that stuff so uh if you go to my instagram there's a link tree in the bio that is where you get all information my website is dead it's a rotting corpse i mean it still exists but it's horrible to look at so and it's of no use to you so go to my Instagram and I've got a link tree there and it has all bits of information Tom have you got anything to plug? As usual all the things I'm doing

have I always say imminently and I think they're coming out soon but I don't know how that exact date so just go to my Twitter at TNeenan if you'd like to see any information about that I've got a podcast if you're a Doctor Who fan called Wheezing Groaning Sound which you'd like to see any information about that. I've got a podcast if you're a Doctor Who fan called Wheezing Groaning Sound which you can listen to. Amazing. Thank you which is very fun

and also very soon I'm hoping to be putting up on eBay a jigsaw puzzle of a black miniature schnauzer. So keep an eye out for that on my eBay as well because I really want to get it finished soon. But yeah that's about it. I'm Alice Fraser you can find me online at patreon.com slash Alice Fraser. That's a one online at patreon.com slash Alice Fraser.

That's a one-stop shop full of my stand-up specials, podcasts, blogs, as well as my weekly writers' meetings and workshops if you want to sign up for a writers' meeting or workshop. Also, I've got my show at the moment, which is called Twist. Yes. And it's at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. Then it will be in Sydney. Then it will be in Tokyo.

Then it will be in London. Then it will be in Edinburgh. Sydney then it will be in Tokyo then it will be in London then it will be in Edinburgh so look up on my website which is sort of up-to-date more or less every week we have we have to thank our roving reporters people who send us in stories that I think we would like C lips who sent both black widow and the Pentagon story and em dash from my patreon who DM'd me the breaking news story about the ultramarathon runner. If you'd like to send in a story, tweet us at HelloGogglers on the internet. This is a Bugle Podcast and Alice Fraser production.

Our editor is Ped Hunter. Yay, Ped! And our executive producer is Chris Skinner. They're both good men. I'll talk to you again next week. You can listen to other programmes from The Bugle, including The Bugle, Catharsis,

Tiny Revolutions, Top Stories, and The Gargle, wherever you find your podcasts.