The Gargle - Gamer psychology | Dog nanny | Fake priest

Episode Date: June 29, 2023

Joz Norris and Alison Spittle join host Alice Fraser for episode 118 of The Gargle - the glossy magazine to The Bugle's audio newspaper for a visual world. All of the news, none of the politics!  Gamer psychology Dog nanny Astronaut immunity  Fake work priest ReviewsProduced by Ped Hunter and Chris Skinner.HOW TO SUPPORT THE GARGLE - Pre-order the D'Ancey LaGuarde Reader book here! http://l8r.it/DHhG- Buy tickets to The Gargle Live at the Edinburgh Fringe FestivalTue 15 and 22 AugustGo to https://www.thebuglepodcast.com/live Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi, it's producer Chris from The Bugle here. Did you know that I have a new series of my podcast, Richie Firth Travel Hacker, out now? It's the show where Richie Firth and I talk about how to make travel better in our very special way. In this series, we discuss line bikes, Teslas, the London overground, and a whole bunch of other random stuff that possibly involves wheels

or tracks or engines of some variety. God, what a hot sell this is. I mean, you must be so excited. Listen now. ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Every sport has their big, juicy controversy. Boxing has the Mike Tyson ear bite.

Cycling has Lance Armstrong. Baseball has its steroid era. Curling has... Broomgate. It's a story of broken relationships, houses divided, corporate rivalry, and a performance-enhancing broom. It was a year I'd like to forget. Broomgate, available now. Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere.

Acast.com. This is a podcast from The Bugle. If you go into the woods today, prepare for a big surprise. If you go into the woods today, you'd better go in disguise. For every bear that ever there was is gathered there for certain because today's the day the teddy bears listen to the gargle. Hello, this is The Gargle, the sonic glossy magazine to the Bugles audio newspaper for Visual World.

I am your host, Alice Fraser, and your guest editors for this week's edition of the magazine are Alice and Spittle. Be-oh, be-oh, be-oh, be-oh. That was less intense mouth noises than you normally bring. Well, I was doing quite intense hand noises because I hear that we're going to be on YouTube. So, bringing the vocals back, putting a bit of

hand stuff in, you know. As usual. As usual. Yeah, I feel like you're adding that extra dimensionality of hand gestures that make your comedy so well known. Hansy Spittle, they call you. They do. They do. I'm going to get cancelled call you. They do. They do.

I'm going to get cancelled one day. And Jaws Norris. Hello. Jaws Norris, welcome back. I panicked while you were talking about hand stuff and I was trying to think of how to embellish my hello eventually and I just went for the first thing that popped into my head. So I hope it was okay.

It was totally very acceptable. Yeah, it was fine. It was fine, I thought. I mean, we can workshop it later if you like totally very acceptable yeah it was fine it was fine i thought i mean we can workshop it later if you like yeah yeah yeah we can do that i give it two thumbs up thanks oh great oh excellent before we link pinkies and plunge our hands into the top stories of this week let's have a look at the front cover this week is may musk mother of elon who this week claimed online to have cancelled the projected cage match between her son elon musk and uh his fremesis frenemy nemesis uh mark zuckerberg uh they were planning uh to do a cage match, which, you know, I don't know how I would have felt about it,

but we know how May Musk felt about it. She did not want her son in a hexagon or an octagon punching. Her boy. And that's significantly younger and fitter than himself. So she pulled the plug, or she is the delicate veil that has been pulled over the negotiations in which they both agreed to pull the plug. Because I feel like who wins that cage match? Unless they both kill each other and then the world. Yeah.

But I think as well, it just sounds like the least hardest thing of that. I would have fought you, but my mum has intervened. Yeah. You know, it feels very eight years old at the local youth club. Well, I feel like the match itself feels very eight year old, so it's appropriate that mummy has stepped in and prevented it from happening. Were they really going to do it? They were like hiring a cage and stuff.

It wasn't like a bit. Because that's mad if they were going to do it? They were like hiring a cage and stuff. It wasn't like a bit. Because that's mad if they were going to do it. I'm pretty sure they have people to hire cages for. Yeah, yeah, they could. They've got the resources. Yeah, I bet he's got his mum onto it. He was like, well, I can't pull out of this, but it'll look sweet. They were allegedly planning on doing it

at the Vegas Octagon, and the UFC president, Dana White, was dead serious about the potential match because I assume he would have been able to spend to sell many, many, many millions of dollars worth of tickets, both from people who like Elon. This is the thing, as an entertainment spectacle, people who like

Elon Musk and or Mark Zuckerberg and people who hate Mark Zuckerberg and or Elon Musk would have really been in for it. Are there people who are indifferent to either of them I don't think there are I think that's everyone on the planet either likes or dislikes them right

his mother, their mothers oh yeah they're indifferent their fathers as well hence the billionaire status and the satirical cartoon this week is a picture of a cricketer in whites and a water polo player in speedos and the headline of the satirical cartoon

is sex in sport the sub headline is how sexy should athletes be allowed to be the second sub headline is yes this is the real culture war should professional athletes be allowed to be bangable and how this is about you know did you see that lance armstrong uh has is launching a series about whether trans people taking hormones should be allowed to compete in sport yeah i feel like it's

like um lance is like now it's my time to shine and uh everybody's just been dunking on him this past week uh he's been dunked harder than uh of all the people who should have opinions on the use of hormones in sport yeah he is either the most or the least qualified but certainly on the on the realm of fairness in sport he's probably the least qualified qualified our top story this week is the dancy lagarde reader has been funded so uh it's a real book that's gonna happen uh that's a that's a real thing if you want to purchase a copy pre-sale of the dancy lagarde reader you can do that if you go to unbound.com and search in their bar for the dancy lagarde reader or alice fraser or Dancy Lagarde or any combination of those words, you can support the project.

You can buy your own copy in a pre-sale. It is definitely going to happen. We are now more than 120% funded. So, yep, if you want a copy, go there and do that. Your next top story that's actual human news is social psychology gaming news. This is the news that male gamers increase their effort when competing against female characters, even if the characters are being played by gamers who are men.

Wow. Which is an interesting social psychological fact and very much borne out by the fact that when my brother invited his friends around for N64 tournaments and we played Goldeneye, they would all just back my player, Xenia, on her top into the corner and shoot her until she was dead. She's quite powerful thighs, though. I understand they had to get rid of that.

They don't tell you that the powerful thighs are no protection against bullets. Did they put the thighs into the game? Was that like a feature? If you played as her, could you use the thighs? Or did they not think about that? Yeah, it's been such a long time since I've played that game. I never played it.

I never went around to it. It wasn't allowed. It was very violent. They've utilised the thighs or the tits. You know what I mean? She flashed James Bond and then killed him. violent they've utilized the thighs or the tits you know what i mean if you like flash james bond and then you know killed him um yeah it's such a this is a story um that kind of couldn't i don't think i've thought about it before but you ever read a kind of uh pop psychological story you're

like that checks out and it's not that dudes um dudes absolutely pummel and destroy uh characters that are women and um i think it comes from the idea of maybe heterosexual men trying to show that they are tough and that they can provide by doing as well on a call of duty as possible i think there's probably, like there's going to be many kind of meet cute stories where children ask their parents, oh, how did you meet? And, you know, your father absolutely dominated me

on Crash Bandicoot. I just knew he was the one. It made me think of, you know, those nature documentaries where they talk about birds that do like elaborate courtship rituals. You know, you've got like the bowerbirds and then it builds like a beautiful nest out of like glass beads and things. And I was thinking like what kind of species

that might emerge out of the ashes of like humans. If there's a future society that looks back on us and makes a documentary about us and then goes oh and then the the male has to like select his character out of a warrior or a cleric or a sorcerer or something and then he absolutely bashes the shit out of the female players and she's just really impressed by that she thinks it just made me sad it just made me think like this doesn't look good in history yeah like to be looking at the person her glands are getting warm every time he does well casts a high ranking spell yeah yeah it doesn't really compete with a single red rose

left on the doorstep no but i do have to admit when i was younger i think i was about 11 there was this boy that was really good at Snake like he would play on the Nokia 3210 and I did fancy him and I think it was because well I have very low self esteem number one but also because he had an interest in a hobby that he loved

and so I can kind of I mean we are I am talking about this from such a heteronormative point of view that I think you know the guys dominate the girls unless they're like misogynists they could be both can't they

you could be attracted to women and a misogynist can't you yes yeah yeah yeah pretty sure you can I have a joke in my show where I say, oh, who here likes women? And then I pause and I say, who here wants to bang women? And it's a slightly different demographic. Wow.

Snake's kind of different because Snake's not hurting anyone, you know? Like, Snake's such a self-contained world. He's just sort of master of his own kingdom, that kid. You get really good at Snake and then you just, you know. yeah yeah just like the men who play video games quite a lot they're actually hurting themselves it's why i think the research is really interesting women perform better when they actively concealed their gender but when women play it doesn't matter what gender they're playing against it doesn't affect their performances but men get an a boost in performance when they're competing against women because of their need to impress and or destroy why not both it also said it said that one of the flaws in this study was that all the data was self-reported

and also most of it was talking about effort rather than necessarily like whether they they did better so i also kind of imagined that like they might have still done really badly and lost but what what they did do with then all of them self-reported is going oh no but i tried really hard i put loads of effort into it i promise so it was they might have been shit but it just it made them feel more self-conscious about being shit possibly i was really trying your ad section now because you can't be what you can't buy or can you if what you want to be is in this ad section you can buy an ad here in this ad space if you're the kind of person that has

things or concepts to sell and wants people to buy those things if you've dreamed of having me read an ad for one of your real products and services and or services i guess on this illustrious program email us at hello buglers at the bugle podcast.com and this episode of the podcast is brought to you by the zebra the angriest most beautiful horse adjacent decorative pet choice a live zebra is the home decor for those who like a challenge but don't like not getting kicked in the head. Zebras. And do you walk down the street on your footsticks worrying about stuff? Are you often annoyed by noises you didn't invite into your ear holes?

Are you tired of being fully present in your body while doing the laundry? Try podcasts. Podcasts, the way to make talking happen inside your forehead and with strangers. Podcasts, the friends you've never made. Did you know the manufacturing process for a 32 megabyte computer memory chip takes close to 32 liters of water? The output for the average factory in memory chip takes close to 32 liters of water the output for the average factory in this industry is close to 2 million integrated circuits that level of production requires over 20 million gallons of water every single month think about that the

next time you drink half a glass of water half a glass of water meaningless on an industrial scale acas powers the world's best podcasts industrial scale. ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Every sport has their big, juicy controversy. Boxing has the Mike Tyson ear bite. Cycling has

Lance Armstrong. Baseball has its steroid era. Curling has... Broomgate. It was a year I'd like to forget. Broomgate, available now. Broomgate. Available now. Now it's time for pet news. This is the news that billionaires have had to take down an ad for a pet nanny because they were swamped with applications, which means that they were offering a $127,000 a year pet nanny role. Joss Norris, you've seen a pet before. Can you unpack this story for us? Yeah, yeah, I've seen these guys

my favourite thing about this story is that the agency said that they'd never had an advert for a dog nanny before so it doesn't exist as a job it's not really a thing and then after they put up this advert because of the fee attached to it they had 400 applications

it's a terrible job, everything about the job makes it sound dreadfulful they said you get six weeks holiday but you might not get that because your duty is always to the dog so if ever you need to do anything you need to drop your private life and just do that uh and i was thinking within the 400 people that apply you're obviously going to get a lot of kind of chances in there that are just like oh i want the money but presumably there'll also be people in there who are like top experts on animal care but then there's a bit in the ad where i think the family have really kind of muddied the waters for what they're looking for because there's a bit where they say

the ideal candidate would be perfect uh would be able to blend in perfectly into the background and then pop out when required so they also want somebody to have developed like the skills of a master of disguise i was kind of picturing that like it's obviously like billionaires that are putting this job out there so you go around and like maybe there's a hallway lined with suits of armor and you kind of go wow these guys are cool and then a dog runs out and is sick and then one of the suits of armor like leaps into life and there's a dog nanny in there or also the you know those you know in a haunted house you have the paintings with the spooky eyes and they're kind of looking out through the eyes yeah i imagined maybe that as well but you're sort of stationed behind that so you really have to

kind of make your entire life secondary to this job and i can imagine that in the interview they you know you'd impress them with all your kind of list of cv stuff about how many animals you've looked after and then they'll ask you like are you a master of disguise and you go oh no because i didn't at no point did i think that i would need to become a master of disguise in order to get this job i just think that they're making problems for themselves that will make it harder to get the candidate they want well also they're looking for an applicant who has the ability to handle sensitive information with the utmost discretion which doesnity. Yeah, which doesn't sound great. I know.

I've got a feeling like any job for a billionaire and you're getting paid over 100 grand, there's going to be some human rights violations in there. Yeah, there's some hush money in there. There is some absolute hush money. A dog shitting on a 10,000 quid rug is not the worst thing you're going to see during that job. There's going to be, you're going to need worst thing you're going to see during that job.

You're going to need some counseling after. I feel like the wage that they're giving you is definitely to cover your aftercare after dealing with these dogs. I have rich friends and I've looked after cats for my friends. Now these cats, they're're expensive cats they're hypoallergenic um they they also have to they also shit into a machine and i've looked it up yeah what they just follow the room around or it's not imagine a rumba that would be the most decrepit lifestyle for any rumba just following a cat like if that was a henry the hoover it would have a very sad face on it like just following that cat around sucking up its poo but um no there's machines i've seen two of them for two of my mates separate mates and it's kind

of like what's it shaped like it's shaped like a ball like an eyeball and the cat goes into the eyeball and then poos into it walks out and it rotates and kind of sloshes the crap into uh into this like sand sand pit underneath it's it's ever so strange so i've looked after cats uh for my mates love doing it but i can tell you now I get very anxious because those cats are expensive and it's and they are it's like looking at money that can move and throw itself under a lorry you know what I mean you're like no I feel like my first question if I were an applicant for this job is what happened to the last dog nanny yes yes that did happen to the and also it's so much money and these are only two dogs these are in the one percent of dogs

like with that money i think those billionaires could buy every stray dog in the country at dentists do you know what i mean give them a little treat why is it only two two dogs and what kind of dogs are these? Yeah. The breed is not specified. Yeah, they've refused to comment on the breed. On the breed? Yeah, they were asked and it said they've not responded to requests for comment. You show up and it's just Jurassic Park 8.

Yeah. Oh, by the way, they're massive and they're f***ing horrible. Hope that's okay. I bet these, whatever dogs they are, I bet they are getting those, you know those little individual foil dog foods that slip out like a fruit? Like that's what they're having. Or it could be, imagine if it's two people just dressed as dogs. Maybe that's why they want discretion.

Maybe you have to look after it. You reckon it is just the billionaires? I reckon it's two mates of the billionaires, Bill and Bob, and they go round of leads. And that's why you need your discretion, because they're two humans. That's my suspicion. I'm sorry to deflate your balloon, but there are people who would pay for that job. And now it's time for your reviews section.

As you know, each week we ask our guest editors to bring something to review out of five stars. Jaws, what have you brought in for us this week? I'm reviewing a new movie that I've seen recently. I'm reviewing the latest Legacy sequel that's coming out. I've written my review here, so here we go. We were delighted by the further adventures of an elderly Han Solo in The Force Awakens. We were delighted by the further adventures of an elderly Han Solo in The Force Awakens.

We were thrilled by the further adventures of an elderly Tom Cruise in Top Gun Maverick. Now, I've been lucky enough to watch an early screening of the next belated legacy sequel to a beloved movie property. And that's Forrest Gump 2, which is coming out at some point in the future. in the future. In 1994, American values and good old-fashioned conservative American patriotism were assumed to be more or less equivalent to broader moral values like kindness and dignity and love. So we all adored Tom Hanks's beautiful performance as the all-American dope with the heart of gold, who just sort of moved through the world with nothing other than love for his country and his immediate nuclear family. In 2023 then we're all going to love watching an increasingly decrepit and intolerant Gump just blundering through the 90s and the noughties and

the tens, clumsily inserted into archive footage and inadvertently causing 9-11, the global financial crash, Brexit and the rise of Trump, but all in the name of love and kindness. At one point he says, mama always used to say that life was like a box of chocolates, but you probably can't say that anymore. He grumbles in one scene before seeing something that he doesn't like or recognise on telly and complaining about how woke everything's become these days.

Also, if you don't cry at the gratuitous scene featuring Jenny's return as a force ghost, then you must have a heart of stone. And in Forrest Gump 2, Gump might not always say say the right thing but at least his heart is in the right place um I give it five stars out of five and I do recommend that everyone sticks around for the post-credits scene as well where Lieutenant Dan returns to recruit Forrest into the Avengers there's going to be a really exciting kind of crossover event coming up I think it's really great it might get shelved

it might not come out so if you don't hear about it that's probably why but i i loved it i thought it was really great how do you think for forest gump would deal with uh the ousting of nasty nick from big brother one oh i think he'd have i think it would have broken his heart it would have yeah i think that would have been alison spittle what have you brought in for us this week? I've got some art so I was at a gig last night and this lady called Lou

Lou Blakeway did a painting of me I don't want to take it out with the bubble wrap because I quite like it like that I think I'd like to keep it with the bubble wrap on but I'd like to review the concept of me being an art i love it uh people that don't you know i've been i've been the subject of uh a lot of people's art

some of it have been if i'm being honest with you uh quite destroying for my for my self-esteem you know like if you if you are an artist and you think it doesn't depict this person in the best light physically don't show it to them you know there's no need so but I've been very lucky and Lee Blakeway made a painting of me I'm gonna give her five stars out of five that's pretty cool I mean this is the great thing normally if you or I are in art it's because it's the art that we're doing on stage. Yes, yes. Oh, I've got to tell you, actually, one time,

this is years ago, I was living in this flat and the only way that you could contact the flat was by the buzzer via the front door. But I got a knock on my actual front door and I was like, who's this? Because I was like, they're not coming from the street. And it was this little boy and he was really shy and his mum was beside him and it was a little um not a montage what did they call it where you put loads of photos onto a piece of paper

he made a collage of me with like my name across it and it said at the back because I think I was on tv in Ireland at the time and it said like like uh like uh to my favorite tv presenter and i was like oh that's cool that's very nice and then his mother was beside him and she goes uh my husband made that and then i looked down and her husband was down the side of the hallway and i kept looking at the little boy pretending that he had made uh the collage because I didn't want to engage with the husband. But I still have that. My mum has that in her downstairs bathroom. So, yeah, it was a weird story.

There is a very sad portrait of me that was done for the Archibald Portrait Prize in Australia where I met the artist at a music festival and I was really, like like ebullient backstage. And then he said, oh, I'd love to paint you for the Archibald. And then he got me for the sitting. But in the meantime, my mum had gone into the palliative care ward. Beautiful.

So he kept trying to cheer me up so that he could get the mood from me that he wanted. And eventually he had to fold and just be like, nope, it's Alice Fraser with a thousand yards dare. Just looking a little grim. I'm sorry that I laughed at the word palliative care. But like. It is pretty funny in that context.

I mean, if you take it purely from his perspective as an artist, what he was looking was, what he was looking for was zazzy backstage Alice. And what he got was extremely sad. was looking for was Zazie backstage Alice and what he got was extremely sad. Now it's time for your space news and this is the news that a study has discovered exactly how the immune system of astronauts breaks down in space presumably similarly to the way that toddlers immune systems immediately break down on contact with daycare. It looks like the moment you get into space, you start to collapse as a physical specimen. Giles Norris, you've meditated on the aching void between the stars before. Can you unpack this story for us?

Yeah, well, so I had quite a funny reaction to this story because I read this article and I was trying to think of, you know, what can I say about this story that's sort of fun and interesting? And basically the whole article is just a long list of all the ways in which astronauts have sort of like their immune system falls apart as soon as they get out there. And then there was another thing about like, they spread it in pathogens in their urine. So when they're up there, all the other astronauts are going to get it as well. And they're all just going to get sicker and sicker. And it was making me feel quite sad reading it. I was like like this is a bit of a bummer this one so i was trying to work out what to do

and then i thought wait how many astronauts are there and i looked it up and it turns out there are only 600 people have ever been to space that's it and there's never more than like six at any one time and then i looked at how many people have ever existed and it's 117 billion and then i tried to work out the number of astronauts as a fraction. And then, you know when the number's so small that it can't be a number anymore and they have to put the letter E into it? And I don't even know what that means. It just means it's tiny.

So the percentage of people that have ever existed that have actually gone to space is infinitesimally small. So then I started thinking, well well this just doesn't matter very much you know like it's not um it's not like they're minors and they're sort of like it's the only job available in a small community and it's essential for society and they have to go down there and they're put in hazardous conditions and then they're underpaid like it's just a few people who like decided to go to space nobody told them to go to space they're all quite well paid and then i

started getting angry about it i was like nobody these guys aren't key workers and in lockdown we weren't like clapping for astronauts outside our houses every day and then when you think about space i was like you look at space you're like of course it's bad for you to go to space if you look out now like if you're listening to this now and it's night then look up there and look at the kind of infinite black void and think about like oh i wonder if it would be good for me then look up there and look at the kind of infinite black void and think about like oh i wonder if it would be good for me to go up there like of course of course it's going to be awful and your body's going to fall apart so i just i then got really angry and was like why why do we care that like a few people who have been to space get ill and then i thought i'm

massively overreacting to this this this is silly uh and then after i've been through those sort of extremes of emotion of like extremely sad and then extremely angry about it i realized actually i just feel quite neutrally about the whole story i don't really have a stance on it i don't think it's strange because i just you were you were talking about uh the kind of uselessness of astronauts yeah and then there's a part of me that was thinking have you not seen the film armageddon? We will be relying on this. Oh, you're right, you're right. But they're not astronauts, they're drillers. That's true, but I mean, the astronauts...

They don't even use the astronauts in that film. That's true. Do you know what? You're right, actually. We don't need them. We really don't need them. Well, and also then think about the fact that the only thing holding our atmosphere

in breathing distance of us is the gravitational pull of the Earth and that we've pulled up so much bore water that's changed the axis of the Earth's spin. What? That worried you at all? That sounds bad. Yeah.

It does, but luckily I'm not educated enough to know exactly how bad and in what way bad. It just sounds vaguely bad. So I can just worry about it in an amorphous way rather than a really specific and obsessive way. The more I thought about it, I was thinking, are they useful, astronauts? What do they do?

They go to the moon, which is sort of like, and then maybe they do some stuff on satellites, which I guess is quite good. They inspire youth. That's true. That's true. I met an astronaut on an Irish TV show. Is it Chris Hadfield?

Is that it? Oh yeah, he's supposed to be quite good. I've got his book. And my uncle was backstage and he's quite an outgoing man and he ran up to Chris and he's like tell me, tell me they exist. And Chris

just winked at him and he goes that's all i need to know son that's all i need to know so i don't know what that means or what they were communicating fantastic and now it's time for fake priest news now Now, this is the news that a Californian taco chain have been ordered to pay $70,000 in damages, that's American dollars, to employees who were asked to meet with a priest and confess their sins.

And it turns out that the priest was not a real priest. Alison Spittel, you understand religion. Please explain this story to me. I absolutely love this. So this was a company called Taqueria Garibaldi, which at first I thought, wow, biscuit tacos would love it. It would be a great idea. So this was a company.

I mean, if we're going to be frank here, I don't think, not only did they bring a fake priest in, but I think they're not the best at employee practices. They brought in a priest, a fake priest, and I love this, as soon as the confession started, so Maria Parra, an employee

of Taqueria Garibaldi, said as soon as the confession started, I found the conversation to be strange and unlike normal confessions where I would tell a priest about the sins i wanted to confess the employee added that the priest was only interested in hearing of sins committed on the job so like you know the sins uh like this is a catholic religion i i was a catholic uh you know the normal kind of sin to get disrespecting your parents that's a big one lying and taking the lord's name in vain and and there's not much about labor laws in the ten commandments

uh there's not much of that you know uh thou shall not go to the toilet on the work on the on the boss's time you know go during your breaks or whatever um it just it just seems like these are uh bad practice also like i've heard of companies putting on free pizza days dressed down fridays uh bringing in a priest. It just made me question this workplace kind of ethos and environment. Well, you're right to question it. The Department of Labour only uncovered the fake priest when they were in the midst of investigating a claim about unpaid wages. So this taqueria is now going to pay not only $70,000 in damages for the priest trick,

Takeria is now going to pay not only $70,000 in damages for the priest trick, but also $70,000 in back pay to the employees and $5,000 in civil money penalties to the Department of Labour due to the willful nature of their violations. When you've got an extra penalty for just being a shit. Yeah, that's an extra. That's $5,000 for just being a shit there in that. That's got a sting, man. Jaws? I quite liked the idea like obviously in this specific instance this has been done by a crook as like a pretext to to dock his workers pay and to be like oh well i found out about this thing that you did on your lunch break so now i'm not going to pay you so this guy is a piece of shit but i actually i was thinking there's something quite fun about the idea of a priest coming in and getting out all the kind of workplace sins

like i think if you used it not as a kind of pretext for punishment but as a reward of like it's been a stressful week you know everyone's been got wound up by little things everyone else has done let's get the priest in and then we all go in one-on-one we all kind of vent your frustrations you get your sins about like oh but then i did this so that's that's not good like i've had jobs where i think if there was a priest that came in once a week i think i'd now be be a christian i'd be quite a devout christian if that even if the priest was fake what do you mean like brand awareness yeah yeah yeah there is a part of me that looks at it and goes like how would you not know uh that this priest was fake but then you know as a catholic i know that the

the the catholic clergy have always been on the side of big capitalism and stuff they've never the catholic church have never picked the right side in any of the look look at look at world war two you know they're not they're not the best they're always on the side of the oppressor um i'm sorry sorry to get ranted they're very you know there's aspects of it that i like uh love the communion that was tasty but the idea as well of like when you said jazz uh you know the church the catholic church and reward and not punishment i was like that's not how it works at all it doesn't really no it It's all punishment, baby. That's the way we like it. The reward is slightly less punishment.

Yes. All right, that brings us to the end of today's show. I'm flipping through the ad section at the back of the magazine. We have theunbound.com Dancy Lagarde reader still funding if you want pre-sales for the book that is now definitely 100% going to happen. Jaws Norris, have you got anything to plug? I've got, I'm recording my two most recent live shows in the middle of July for Go Faster Strike, which is a great website that sells comedy downloads,

DVDs and things, so it's a whole day of shows. I'm doing my two shows in the middle, but also John Luke Roberts is doing his last show, which is brilliant. Sean Morley and Benjamin Alba are doing a very weird thing about Terry Wogan trying to escape from hell. So it's four days of really great shows. You can either buy for individual shows or buy an all-day ticket.

So if you go on my Twitter, there should be a ticket link for that. We're recording them at the Moth Club on the 16th of July. Come along if you like. I will come along. I'm very excited about it. I meant listeners, but that's really kind. Thanks. And Alison Spittel, have you got anything to Oh thank you, I meant listeners but that's really kind, thanks.

And Alison Spittel, have you got anything to plug? Oh I've got a big plug baby it's the Edinburgh Fringe Festival 1.25 every day at the Hive One with Monkey Barrel, I'm going to be doing a show called Soup, I'm doing some whips in the run up to that in July

but the big plug is Soup I've made some tote bags I'm going to sell them I hope that I haven't bought too many tote bags, I may financially destroy myself with these tote bags and yeah, come along and see me, go to

Alison Spittal on Instagram and there's a lovely link through there and that's where you'll find all of the information and big thanks to both of our guest editors for this week's magazine alison spickle and joss norris as well as thanks to our roving reporters sea lips and vb who sent in the gaming dog nanny and fake priests stories respectively i'm alice fraser you can find me online at patreon.com slash alice fraser where i do a weekly writers meeting and workshop if you

want to write with me as well as a bunch of other things patreon.com slash alicefraser is the place to go this is a bugle podcast and alicefraser production your editor is pedhunter your executive producer is chris skinner i'll talk to you again next week you can listen to other programs from the bugle including the bugle catharsis tiny revolutions top stories and the gargle wherever you find your podcasts