The Gargle - Get ready for The Gargle live in Edinburgh!

Episode Date: August 10, 2023

The hit news satire podcast from The Bugle, hosted by cult favourite Alice Fraser, comes to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival for two live shows full of topical comedy and brilliant guests. There’s just one rule: No politics! From crypto crashes to evil science and weird nature, this live event will give a special peek behind the curtain of one the world’s great podcasts.Tue 15 August - Alice Fraser, Myq Kaplan and Alison SpittleTue 22 August - Alice Fraser, Tiff Stevenson and Tom BallardBuy tickets immediately at https://www.thebuglepodcast.com/liveThanks to Dry Bar Comedy for use of the clip from Myq's 'Live From The Universe' stand-up special on YouTube. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Acast.com. This is a podcast from The Bugle. live goggles. The first ever live goggles on the next two Tuesdays, the 15th and 22nd of August. Go to thebuglepodcast.com slash live to get your tickets for our first ever shows in front of a live audience. Joining us for the first show

on Tuesday the 15th of August, making his debut on the gargle is the incredible Mike Kaplan. I didn't get into a lot of fights growing up. There were some bullies. Bullies that were like, I'll knock the books out of your hands. Now neither of us can read. That sort of thing. Not everybody reads.

Not everybody has to read now because every book gets made into a movie, but book people are getting smart. They're called authors. Book people, they start re-releasing the book. When the movie comes out, they put a picture of the actor on the cover,

trick people who like movies into buying the book. Like the movie Fight Club came out, they re-released the book and people are like movies into buying the book. Like, the movie Fight Club came out, they re-released the book and people were like, ooh, Brad Pitt's in this book. So far, just words. I'll fight you, book.

Then that guy fights that book, turns out at the end that guy is that book. Anyway, sorry to spoil the book. Alongside Mike as the guest editor on the 15th is gargle favorite the one and only allison spittle who of course you will know from such moments as this the thing i want to review is uh putting coins in your bra if you leave them in for all day and then take it off number one it feels amazing because you take your bra off and all you can hear is coins fall you feel like you've just done really well at a game or something like that you feel like sonic the hedgehog or something

i've used the pickup line play your cards right and i pay out like a slot machine yeah do you know what it's nice it's nice to bring the fun of an arcade game, you know, to the end of the day with a penny drop. And what I love as well is that they leave little markings behind. So sometimes green, which freaks me out, but apparently it's the type of metal in the coin. But I end up looking like an inverted Mr. Blobby if I keep too many coins on me. Josh, Mr. Blobby was a

children's cartoon. No, he's not a cartoon. It's a real person who used to basically F up shit on kids TV and people used to love it. He's got like dots all over him. That's my review. I'm going to give it 3.5. He looks like a Japanese

mascot for diseased penis treatments big time yes big time i'm picturing him the only cons is that it's really kind of frowned upon to to pay someone out of your bra straight away like if you if you go to take coins out of your bra and give it to someone at a garage you know there's no more nice small talk it's it's quite angry at that point it's something about the body temperature that creeps people out i think people have a strong sense of what temperature money should be but my tits are a cleaner than my hands like that's what they should i read that scientific study yeah yeah you know i know where my tits have been i don't know where my hands have been half the time with what they're judging my i haven't rubbed my tit off the side of a banister

you know going down a metro or something like that but i have with my hand so i think it's cleaner i i genuinely think we need to get over get over get over over tit sweat and just get on with our lives. How many stars? I agreed. I'm going to go for 3.5. I've just got the image of me rubbing my tit along the banister of a busy subway. Just going, you need to get over yourselves, guys. Then for our second live show in Edinburgh on Tuesday, the 22nd of August,

we are joined by another gargle favourite, the mighty Tiff Stevenson. Blue Chip itself comes from poker. That's why they're named Blue Chip because it's the highest value. How many more ways do they need to tell you this is all just a big casino? Like you just need to know it's all gambling. And you have the Dow Jones, which to my ear, whenever I hear the Dow Jones is down, I'm like, well, that's Welsh men. They're depressed anyway.

So I think what this teaches us, this whole crypto situation, is we should go back to Wemmick's advice from Great Expectations. I don't know if you've all read it, but Wemmick is a character in Great Expectations who advises young Pip to get involved in some portable property. Get yourself some portable property. Get yourself some portable property. So get some gold on your fingers and in your teeth and don't worry about it. Joining Tiff for the show on the 22nd will be another much-loved member of the Bugleverse, Tom Ballard. Look, they're downsizing, they're rearranging their offices.

Apparently, Meta might be in a shitload of trouble and they're downsizing all this. They have a very amenable work-from-home policy as well, but yes, have described it as vibe planning. I think it's a smart business strategy, Alice. Clearly, the bigwigs at Meta have been watching a lot of severance and haven't recognized it as a satire and the evils of the modern capitalist workplace.

They've thought, this is good. This is good and it's the future. And I think we're going to see more of it from now on. Companies don't downsize. They're vibe planned. They they won't do layoffs it's feng shui we're not union busting we're creating a safe space for management we're not demoting you we're encouraging you to do self-care for less money i think you know you're really when you're told you're getting relocated to the metaverse i mean that's when you are really in serious trouble when it turns out when you're working at meta so watch out for that meta employees listening to the garverse, I mean, that's when you are really in serious trouble when it turns out when you're working at Meta.

So watch out for that, Meta employees listening to the gargle. To take advantage of this once-in-a-millennium opportunity to witness whatever this is that we do happening live before your very eyes in audio and stereo, get your tickets now at thebuglepodcast.com slash live. That's thebuglepodcast.com slash live. If you have any stories that you would like to send in to us, that you would like to see done live, tweet us or X us at HelloGogglers.

And don't forget to pre-order your very own copy of The Dancy Lagarde Reader, the first ever literary release from The Bugle. Get your own very throbbing insight into the works of the self-published romance maven by going to thebuglepodcast.com right this instant. Bugle. Get your own very throbbing insight into the works of the self-published romance maven by going to thebuglepodcast.com right this instant. I'll talk to you again next week.