The Gargle - Get some Catharsis with Alice and Tiff!

Episode Date: March 3, 2023

Hello Garglers, we will be back with a regular show next week. But while Alice is in Adelaide we have something different for you this week, namely Alice's appearance on Catharsis - Tiff Stevenson's wonderful podcast from The Bugle stable. Tiff serves as a massively unqualified therapist for her guest's old grudges, gripes and beefs, as they look together for catharsis from life's nagging grumbles. If you enjoy, please explore the feed to find more fantastic guests such as Sara Pascoe, Alison Spittle, Dane Baptiste, Josh Gondelman, Alfie Brown, Ria Lina and many more. Next week's episode will be of particular interest to listeners of The Bugle. Hope you enjoy and see you all next week for more vital non-political satire.Please note that Catharsis contains bleep-free swears. Well, that particular word is bleeped, but the other ones aren't. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi, it's producer Chris from The Bugle here. Did you know that I have a new series of my podcast, Richie Firth Travel Hacker, out now? It's the show where Richie Firth and I talk about how to make travel better in our very special way. In this series, we discuss line bikes, Teslas, the London overground, and a whole bunch of other random stuff that possibly involves wheels

or tracks or engines of some variety. God, what a hot sell this is. I mean, you must be so excited. Listen now. ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Every sport has their big, juicy controversy. Boxing has the Mike Tyson ear bite.

Cycling has Lance Armstrong. Baseball has its steroid era. Curling has... Broomgate. It's a story of broken relationships, houses divided, corporate rivalry, and a performance-enhancing broom. It was a year I'd like to forget. Broomgate, available now. Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere.

Acast.com. This is a podcast from The Bugle. There will be a gargle next week. But in the meantime, why don't you have a listen to Catharsis, Tiff Stevenson's podcast from the Bugleverse, which has featured some excellent guests, including Sarah Pascoe, Alison Spittel, Dane Baptiste, Josh Gondelman, Alfie Brown, Rialina, and me, yours truly. Truly yours. Next week's guest will be of particular interest to Bugle listeners. So subscribe to Catharsis now in preparation for that.

For now, please enjoy my chat with Tiff from earlier in the series. Yes, this is a cross-podcast experience, so you have something to put in your ears for now. Catharsis, the process of releasing and thereby providing the leaf from strong or repressed emotions. I'm Tiff Stevenson, all-time comedian, part-time, massively unqualified therapist for this podcast only. Each week I talk to a guest about small things that are pet peeves and big things that maybe need release. Do I mean release or relief? Why do they both sound like a happy ending?

We also dive into a topical gripe and a historical beef to see if we can provide some insight and much needed catharsis. You can really sweat the small stuff with me. This week, I'm raging about Spanx. Spanx, yes. Slimming shapewear. Just call them fat redistribution pants. It all goes somewhere. Like, the fat does not disappear.

It takes my back fat, makes it into a pair of lovely back tits. 34C. I'm sexy from either direction. I would like to introduce, you heard them laughing there, my guest this week. I'm joined by comedian, podcaster and Time Lord, Alice Fraser. Hello. Hello. I'm a Time Lord. Time is warping as we speak. I'm calling you Time Lord because your current show is called Kronos. Yes, it is called Kronos. It's a show about time and travel, but not exactly about time travel,

except that the show itself travels through time, but not just in the way that we all travel through time at the rate of one minute per minute. It sort of goes back in time and then comes back to now. It's fun.

Non-linear. Non-linear. Is that the shorter way of? That's the shorter way of saying it. I mean, it's just it's just a story but that's not an hour imagine if you went and it's non-linear thank you for coming to my show the whole show is me just trying to explain time so time is this thing and it's sort of space but it's not really but on a kind of a level it's maybe a bit space

in my show i say time is like a salv Dali painting to me. It is all melted clocks suddenly I'm in the middle of the desert and I'm supposed to be meeting someone for coffee at three. I mean you are the only person I know who's late to a Zoom meeting. Yes yeah I can be late for a Zoom. Let's start the show with a section that we like to call old grudges. This is the section of the show where we attempt to feed our guests some gripe water so they can digest an old piece of anger. So bringing to me, Alice,

some kind of historical argument, debate, upset that you've had, and let's see if we can help you out with it. All right, so I used to work at a law firm, quite a top tier law firm. I was sort of tricked into it by everyone telling you that that was the thing that you ought to want to do. And then I got it and I was like, this is dust in my mouth. That was horrifying and awful. And one of the horrifying and awful things about it was all this like weird toxic pressure to conform that I loathed. And

people would look at the people above them and go, oh, well, I don't want to do anything that they're not doing. But because because observation is imperfect it meant that everyone down the ladder would do increasingly narrow ways of behaving because you can't see everything that the other people are allowed to do but you didn't want to do anything that you couldn't see that they were allowed to do so everyone just like squished themselves into these horrible little boxes and there's one particular person who just was like I mean everyone else did it silently but this person was really good at articulating the weird fucked like social norms that they were policing. Like they said, have you ever thought about straightening your hair?

And I was like, I guess sometimes I guess I think about it, but I can't really be bothered. And they were like, it just, you know, it's just that curly hair makes you look like a messy thinker. Wow. Well, there's a lot to unpack there isn't there yeah like first of all it's not growing out of my brain it's what are you talking about I mean if your hair manifested the internals of your brain there'd be a lot of people in mergers and acquisitions with tiny penises for hair but it's just the worst Medusa ever. You stare at them and they get rock hard. I don't know. The point is. Mine was pink at one point, so maybe it was.

Well, actually, brains are more sort of grey, aren't they? Well, but maybe you were looking at the world through rose-coloured glasses and then your hair. I just think it's just such an appalling idea, the idea that somebody doesn't. So this is one of the things about female beauty standards. I'm going to go on and tell you more stuff about this guy, but this is just sort of a rant on the side here,

like a tangential rant, a tant. That's what you're here for. I'm into it. A tanty rant, which is that this idea that you sort of have to conform to these ideas of womanly normitude and that doing a thing, thing okay doing a thing to conform is considered normal and then not doing it is considered rebellious right like not waxing your underarms or shaving your underarms not not getting rid of the hair under your arms is seen as like an

active activist thing yes as opposed to i cannot be bothered yeah yeah as opposed to just i forgot or i can't be bothered or it's some time passed and it grew out like it's seen as like a deliberate and aggressive choice to not do a thing yeah julia roberts like had hairy armpits once at a premiere and you remember it because it was so everyone went mad about it yeah the idea that there's this there's this obligation to grooming. And not just grooming, but like private grooming. No one's seeing your underarms. Mine haven't been on display since 2006.

Laura Davis has this great joke about how someone in high school once told her she had ugly arms and then they just went on with their life and didn't spend 8,000 pounds on cardigans. Which is the thing that people just tell you stuff as a young person and you're like, if that lady at the law firm had told me the hair thing like five years earlier, I would have just accepted it. Yes. If I'd been like marginally less well-formed as a human being,

I might have been like, okay, I'm never allowed to have curly hair. It'll make me look like a messy thinker rather than what I did in the moment, which was like, are you deranged? A messy thinker that somehow curly hair. I mean, there's a lot in that. I mean, there's, there's a lot to unpack there. And I mean, there's huge conversations as well around race and Afro hair as well. Like people being allowed to have their natural hair.

Your hair is your hair. it doesn't affect your professionalism I talked to my dad and my brother and they said it was the sort of the because my hair is curly it's this sort of encroachment of unregulated nature the natural into these highly regulated spheres of like the law because the law the fiction that the law has about itself

is clean and orderly which is absolute fucking nonsense, of course. You know, the standard of proof is like, in a criminal trial, is a reasonable man in the position would believe. That's a standard of truth. A reasonable man would believe X or would have thought X or would have understood X. What about the reasonable woman, Alice?

Yeah, but what about the reasonable woman? What do you mean the reasonable woman? That's just what a judge thinks a reasonable guy would think, which is to say what a judge thinks he would think. It's completely bizarre. Or specifically, it's what the guy thinks the guy on the Clapham omnibus would think. And as if a judge has ever been on a Clapham omnibus. A reasonable man.

Well, also, you've got so many laws. I learned this recently about air rights when I was investigating air rights because I wanted to talk about them in a show. You wanted to own the sky. You wanted to own the sky. I wanted to own the sky. And it's sort of a piece of like, there's a whole law based around a piece of like Latin legislation that says when you buy a property,

you own it to the gates of heaven and the depths of hell. So we're still doing theology in actual law because who says where hell ends and heaven starts the biggest fiction that the law has about itself is that the devil wrote it i don't know uh so so so the curly that that's like you say if you were a bit younger and a bit more naive you might have like swallowed that hole and i think spent years of like getting irons on your hair and straightening it pounds worth of keratin treatments. Plenty of people I know just obsessively straighten their hair.

They fry it out and you just think, why? I obsessively curl mine. There you go. Because it's so dead straight and flat. Because someone once told you that it was flat and that it was bad. Yes. Bad to not have air in your hair. Why? Why?

I don't know. But the other thing that it was aity thing just i remember that i in that law firm the first i arrived so i had done something slightly scandalous before i even arrived in the law firm which was that there was a jasmine tree outside my house and i love jasmine i love the smell of it particularly in summer i like to wear a jasmine flower behind my ear because then the smell sort of you turn your head and you get a nice smell for it and on the day that I went into my staff photos before I'd even showed up I absentmindedly without even thinking of it had a flower behind my ear I'd straighten my hair for that photo actually um and and I had this flower behind my ear and for months afterwards when I

would meet people in this law firm they'd go oh, oh, you're the girl with the flower. Wow. As though it were a statement that I'd made, as though it was some, again, some huge point of introducing unregulated nature into this regulated sphere. And so, and then the first, so I had these like orientation couple of weeks with the grad students and then I arrived in my department, which was the corporate real estate department. Why did I ever think that it would work for me? I don't know. But we had a morning tea, an introductory morning tea for me,

in my honour, to introduce me to my department. And one of the senior partners had printed out headshots of managing partners of the firm, men in suits and a lady in a suit, and then a picture of me in a suit with straightened hair but this flower behind my ear and he laid them out on the table and he said welcome to the department Alice Fraser pick the odd one out wow so it was just like come in welcome slap you on the wrist like this this is unacceptable behavior to you to to bring nature into our stuffy environment i also just as you were saying about the curly hair there what popped into the front of my mind was the idea that curly hair

makes you look like a messy thinker then why in the courts of britain are there people wearing curly wigs on their heads if anything it should give you more authority yes true no but those those are tamed curls. Those are more rolls than curls really, aren't they? They've been stripped and then they've been cast in plaster, you know, essentially. They've been powdered and coiled and coiled and then they've been taken off a head.

So they're not out of control. They're like possibly, I mean, if we're taking this metaphor one step too far, which we are, it's a symbol of man's domination over nature. This used to be unregulated hair, but now we've killed it and stripped it and stuffed it and taxidermied it and put it on this old man's head. It's not fit. I'm going to go with not fit. Not fit.

Have you ever tried speaking to any of these people since and telling them about this? Or is this the first opportunity that you've had to get it out, have some catharsis? So I had this moment at the end of my time, it was all coming to an end, I could feel it coming to an end. I was, you know, I was like a few incidents away from handing in my notice. And my senior partner used to think it was funny to tell me jokes because he knew that I was a comedian and his whole thing was like, you're not very funny, are you? Like that was his joshing thing.

You're not being very comedianly, are you? And I'd just be like, no, I'm fucking miserable. But he came in and it was this real moment where he, I'd up until this point gone ha, ha, ha, ha at his stupid fucking jokes because that's what you have to do. That's part of the thing. If someone's above ha ha ha, at his stupid fucking jokes, because that's what you have to do. That's the like, that's part of the thing. If someone's above you, you laugh at their stupid fucking jokes. And when you're young, you know, like, anyway, it was a power play that he did. They would come in and tell me these awful jokes, and I would have to laugh. And he came in and he

said, Did you hear the one about the optometrist? And I said, Oh, what's the one about the optometrist? And he said, the optometrist that caught got caught in a lens grinder. And I said, well, what's the one about the optometrist? And he said, the optometrist got caught in a lens grinder. And I was like, what happened? And he said, he made a spectacle of himself. And I said, without laughing, I reckon I could do better. And he looked so offended. And I said, what did I say? I said, I saw my optometrist the other day, which made him a bit redundant.

Yes, there you go. Beautiful. A lovely piece of catharsis. Catharsed. Catharsed. ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Every sport has their big, juicy controversy.

Boxing has the Mike Tyson ear bite. Cycling has Lance Armstrong. Baseball has its steroid era. Curling has... Broomgate. It's a story of broken relationships, houses divided, corporate rivalry, and a performance-enhancing broom. It was a year I'd like to forget. Broomgate. Available now.

Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts. Everywhere. Acast.com So this section of the show we like to call Topical Cream. We apply some balm to a stingy news story that's got you all het up. What's happening in the world that's got you frustrated? The fact that Donald Trump

is back in the news cycle. Somebody had the unmitigated goal the other day to say to me, Donald Trump's back in the news. That must be fun for you. Not fun. Not fun. We've said all we can say. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to say anything original

or interesting about Donald Trump? Do you have any idea? It's not fun for us. It's a horrible, horrible task. I mean, there's a reason that I started the gargle, which is that I just couldn't bear to write another fucking joke about these cunts who keep doing the same shit

in a different color every week. Yes, it's that. It was Trump and Brexit, which is still... Trump, Brexit, Trump, Brexit, Trump, Brexit, Trump. Trump said Brexit. I was like, oh, just app Trump. John said Brexit. And I was like, oh. Just appalling. And then I find both the supporters and then our side, I find, you know, our side.

But like I find the people on the left incredibly infuriating as well because they're so boring in the jokes that they do. Well, I remember trying to write about Donald Trump in 2017 and I'd sort of, we'd all gone through all of the angles and then I was in Scotland so the only thing I could find to say about about Donald Trump was like kind of by relating it back to myself which was he has a Scottish parent and as the child of a Scottish parent Scottish parents don't like cockiness and Donald Trump is so cocky all I could presume is that he hadn't spent any

time around his Scottish mother because she would have been like do you think that's a reasonable like cockiness and Donald Trump is so cocky all I could presume is that he hadn't spent any time around his Scottish mother because she would have been like do you think that's a reasonable shade of fake tan you've applied to yourself you're going to go out looking like that you know or like you know Donald why have you only why have you only invited five people to your birthday party did no one else want to come you know so i think that he just didn't spend enough time around a terrible scott not terrible scottish just a hard-going scottish audiences and i think we're all pretty clear that donald trump didn't have a great relationship with his mother yes i feel like i mean all of the relationships of his kids with

their mothers with him are ivana trump in her biography said she just threw her kids down the mountain and went, ski. And off goes Ivanka and Eric and Donald Jr. And now they all ski beautifully. So it's just like, yeah, that seems like the kind of parenting they do. And nothing like being in terror for your life to teach you a skill.

What do you think the way forward is then? How do we fix this problem of donald being back in the news do we just ignore him well so i really genuinely think that part of the problem was people making fun of him and i don't mean that in the way of like oh he doesn't deserve to be made fun of it hurt his feelings i mean that he was given so much coverage and so much attention and that he thrives on attention he's like a he, he's like a flasher with a humiliation fetish. He grows every time you tell him to fuck off. Like he. That is such a horrible image that I now have burnt into my retinas, but yes. The entertainment factor of, of trying to make a

joke about Donald Trump and there's good ones and bad ones. And you know, like I was proud of some of the ones that I wrote. I don't know that they had a negative impact on his, on his power. They certainly seem to have had a positive impact on his power. I think the idea, certainly the, the kind of night, tonight show joke idea that if you make a good enough zinger, that's as good as a real argument.

Yes. Or a real kind of, that it has any impact just because it is funny, I think is dangerous. Well, I think people dangerous side with him are just like well you would say that about him because you hate him so it just entrenches people sometimes a punchline is not evidence yes yeah sometimes it just entrenches people further into

their beliefs and you go can the funny cross the aisle as they say in america so i find yeah i think that i think my my rage or my my my venting here is that that when donald trump is in the news everyone is like yes like everyone is just awful everyone's so smug and then like the lefties are like meh he's terrible and then the right-wing people like yeah it's just ah yes yeah you uh it it makes all of us worse as human beings and i don't know he's a bad apple he's the worst apple that's why he's orange fuck me have we made it worse by bringing him up on this podcast i don't know absolutely i am the thing i love i don't know that the topical cream is going to take away the itch this week.

I would also like to ask you about an unpopular opinion. So an unpopular opinion, which can be, Alice, a thing that everyone hates that you love, or vice versa, something that you love that everyone else seems to hate. Well, I've got an odd one, which is that I think something that I love that everyone else loves but pretends not to love which is the fast and the furious series i fucking love it i love it i love it i love it i think it's so great it's like ballet but with cars it like it's like the bold and the beautiful but for 12 year old boys there's always someone who's like having amnesia or they're like the baddie in the last episode but now they've come back or like they're saving

their brother it's all about family and then there's the one where um jason statham rescues vin diesel's baby on a plane uh jason statham's one that looks like a thumb vin diesel's one looks like the other thumb jason statham rescues vin diesel's baby on a plane but he's got uh he has to punch a man to death and he's got the baby so he puts noise cancelling baby headphones on the baby so it doesn't hear the violence oh that's kind of beautiful how many fast and furious are we into nine we're up to nine that was like that you knew that the the the airplane one was uh the fate of the furious fast and the furious eight um but yeah i just it's so magnificent you just know it is exactly the same as the bold and the beautiful no character ever dies off you think they died off but they come back round and they return

in a new thing as the friend or the enemy or the anti-hero. And then there's that thing where like The Rock came in and then obviously he and Vin Diesel are not friends because Vin Diesel's much smaller than The Rock but he has to be the biggest man in the franchise. So they do that thing that they did in The Lord of the Rings of putting Vin Diesel way closer to the camera and their eyelines don't meet but it's meant to make them look like they're the same size

and then the rocker like flexes his cast off and it's like oh it's so dumb and this is the thing I think I think it's not that other people don't like it's obviously massively successful franchise it's that that people of my kind of socio-economic demographic are meant to pretend that we don't love it that we're above it that we're better than that and i am not better than that you're not better than the fast and all the furious i love cars so i'm quite into them i did watch the spin-off hobson shaw and helen mirren is in it and if it's good enough for mirren's mom it's just jason statham's mom and then but weirdly what is weird is that Vanessa Kirby, I think, who plays Princess Anne in The Crown,

and then it's quite like a mixed class family because you've got Statham who's like... And then you've got Helen who's a bit more Helen. So you don't know what happened to Jason. Was Jason like left as a baby? No, Helen's playing like Cockney Cockney yes but not you know pretty convinced I mean I think she's yeah no I think the daughter is a bit but yeah but yes uh Vanessa Kirby Jason Statham's married to Rosie Huntington-Whiteley so

maybe there is such a thing as a mixed-class family yeah yeah but I mean it had the two kids growing up together and I thought that was quite fun I I enjoyed I enjoyed that I did enjoy um it was a real fun I went with my friend and we were in LA and it was a real fun afternoon out just a classic a bit like I really enjoyed Top Gun and I don't even know if this is a guilty pleasure I don't think this is an unpopular opinion but I enjoyed the Top Gun Maverick film I was like oh I felt like you know it's a beautiful piece of military propaganda see here we go here we go I did watch that film and I said to Paul do you think do you think I could do you think I could fly a fighter jet and he went well they

don't have indicators so probably I was like the absolute shade on that that's a ridiculous amount of shade so you say propaganda i mean we could say fast and the furious is propaganda for cars absolutely it is it's propaganda for cars it's propaganda for the american middle class lifestyle it's propaganda like it's all propaganda of course movies all art is some form of this podcast we're all telling you a story yeah yeah so a big fan of fast and the furious and you never knew that about alice and that's what i love about this podcast it's cathartic she's got it off her chest she didn't want people to know she was deep down ashamed i will tell

anyone who's willing to listen but also there's like hot people in it let's not forget in the new in the new one they're all incredibly charlie's their ons in the latest one isn't she and it's also a beautiful thing like it's genuinely quite good for like diversity without being on the nose yes there's just so many people and they come in and they do their thing and like sometimes they're a bit of a stereotype and sometimes they're not and it's like and they come in and they do their thing hotly hot so they look they look sexy while they're doing their thing there's none of this like oh you have to ugly up to be a serious actor because none of them are serious actors none of them are acting at all

there was a great film in the same genre of the fast and the furious which was gone in 60 seconds which has got cage in it so for me it's automatically brilliant because it has nicholas cage and angelina jolie um and uh in that christopher eccleston is playing the baddie and he is northern nicholas cage's character is called memphis rains and one of christopher eccleston's lines is it never rains but it pours and that's why i love these movies because you can always get a bit of quality dialogue in like it never rains but it pours bring me memphis rains um and he's obsessed with woodwork and no one knows why he's just walking around doing bits of woodwork in between like putting out hits

on people and uh trying to get these cars stolen so that's a great bit of backstory for him I'll tell you one of my favorite bits of the Fast and fury series is where gina carano and michelle rodriguez have a wordless fight in a subway uh and i and i was watching this and i was like well they're not fighting about a man does this does this pass the bechdel test yes now what's the the things are two women have to be having a conversation. About something that isn't a man. Two named female characters about something that isn't about relationships. So I think it does.

Yeah, talking with their bodies. Yeah, talking with their fists, their hot, hot fists. Thank you for your unpopular opinion. This section of the show we are calling Aurochs, which is historic beef. Oh, I like that. It's an old, an old cow, an old form of cattle. So that's how we've come up with the title for this section. And fittingly, this week in historical beef, I'm going to be looking at the Bone Wars.

Now, not as we would suspect an alternative title for Love Island, the Bone Wars. Now, not as we would suspect an alternative title for Love Island, but the 1877 to 1892 historic beef between Othaniel Charles Marsh and Edward Drinker Cope,

some nominative determinism on the latter, over dinosaur excavations. So these men were dueling and digging up dinosaurs from 1877 to 1892. So both these paleontologists used their wealth and influence to finance their own expeditions,

procure services and dinosaur bones from fossil hunters. And by the end of the Bone Wars, it still sounds stupid, both men had exhausted their funds in the pursuit of a paleontological supremacy. So have you heard about the Bone Wars? I only vaguely have heard about the Bone Wars. I know that there was these periods of sort of like yeah bone rushes like gold rushes where this kind of bone again a bone rush it's just it's too it's too good uh but this is the

thing so they they sort of work together but as with all kind of kind of friendly amicable rivalries it sort of turned sour in the end but i find it so funny these kind of natural historians who were like digging up digging up things and having opinions about stuff because it was not about you know refining and making the best thing it was about finding the new one the new one the new one and and being the most exciting discovery that you possibly could as though it was a measure of your skill rather than just like randomly stumbling upon some bones in the ground and deciding that they're yours they're yours they're gonna be named after you cope and marsh jeweled for fossils in the american rest they also tried their best to ruin each other's

professional credibility humiliated by his error in reconstructing the plesiosaur cope tried to cover up his mistake was he the one who put the head on the tail yes yes and there's a statue in crystal palace in london of a dinosaur based on that wrongly put around fossil cope tried to cover up his mistake by purchasing every copy he could find of the journal in which it was published back in the old days where if you made a cock up what you could do is you could just go around and buy all the newspapers amazing and burn them and we're at the fringe and you cannot bury reviews. You cannot bury reviews. It's a terrible thing.

I've tried to do some spells. I've tried to do some witchcraft. This is the problem. This is the problem. Professionally, like trying to destroy other people's careers. This is the scarcity mentality rather than the abundance mentality. They should have said, look, there's heaps of dinosaurs. God's put enough in the ground for all of us.

They should have said, look, there's heaps of dinosaurs. God's put enough in the ground for all of us. Along with the saddles. Yeah, yeah. Along with the saddles. I mean, why would you have a scarcity mentality about fossils? I mean, sure, there's only a certain amount of fossils that are that old, but there keeps being new ones made. Yes.

That's how time works. Just murder someone and stick them in a bog. You're pre-fossiling. So what do we think then what are we saying about that's not professional advice by the way don't murder anyone and put them in a bog cope cope and marsh um we don't know that they've dealt with this rivalry in the most healthy way no i think you know if you're upset that you got the bones the wrong way around maybe you know he should have tried talking to the bones and telling them how he feels yeah or if you're going to duel do a proper duel wrestle to the death in

a peat bog and then you both become fossils in the end yes yes and then you'll be discovered and spoken about on another podcast in the bugle family put a label on yourself preemptively this is who i am and this is how much money i had in my bank when i died because that was the obsession with old bones of people and i guess the pyramids and everything else was letting people know that you were in fact rich when you were alive hence being buried with all of your jewels yeah or in a status that was befitting of someone incredibly rich so um yes um so that was that was the dinosaur rush and um neither of them are here anymore but hopefully we've helped them heal a little bit yeah yeah and this is the section of the show

that we like to call angry aunt ever had a problem that you felt like wasn't your fault bring it to me i'm gonna get annoyed for you. So we've had listeners and friends sending in their problems and me seeing if I can find some kind of solution along with my guest for the week. And it's actually Alice who's bringing in the problem this week from a friend. From a friend, yes. On behalf of a friend who's staying in Edinburgh at the moment

paying an outrageous amount of money for their apartment and part of what they're paying for. Outrageous. Outrageous amount of money in Edinburgh at the moment, especially given there's a bin strike on, so you're paying a lot of money for a very stinky place. But they have had, as part of the landlord offering them a favour for the fact that they're paying four times above the market rate

for this flat, has said, we're going to send in a cleaner to your flat in the middle of the festival. So you'll have a nice clean flat in the middle of the festival change your sheets which is exciting uh and then the cleaner arrived but because my friend had someone around for a coffee the cleaner just walked in and then walked out again uh and they got an email from the landlord saying oh sorry the cleaner can't clean if there are people there. Okay. What a fucking piss take. Yeah. What a bunch of absolute...

Yes. These landlords, absolutely unacceptable. I'm angry for you. This is just a regular injustice. Yeah. I don't even have to pretend to be angry. I have to say that

six to seven thousand pounds for a one-bedroom flat at this festival for the month is beyond ridiculous. It's going to implode upon itself yeah but why would the cleaner turn up and then immediately leave just because there was another person there yeah i mean they weren't fucking were they they didn't yes they didn't they were not no no they were not fucking they're just having a cup of coffee apparently and i mean

according to my friend my friend could be lying but i don't think my friend was lying i think my friend would is the kind of louche artiste who would tell me if they were fucking okay but yeah this cleaner just didn't have the the chutzpah to come in and say I beg your pardon are you going to be here while I clean or could you go to another room or just clean another room and then you know I just feel like this is I mean the cleaner is probably not being paid 70,000 pounds to be there but I feel like the landlord should have hired a cleaner that would be capable of cleaning a house that people were in i think the cleaner you never know what's happening on the day um and you know my mom used to clean offices and stuff and sometimes people would leave real grot so i would say yes you the cleaner maybe not to blame here the landlord

i'm not angry on behalf of my friend on the cleaner. I'm angry at the landlord. Yes, yeah. I think we agree. The landlord is the issue here. The landlord, I mean, to the Hague, I would say. And I don't feel I'm being overly dramatic when I say to the Hague. To the Hague.

To the Hague. So, yeah, we've got angry for you. We're sending them to the Hague. Yeah, if you've had a bad landlord issue, email us at, what's your email address, Tiff? It's somethingsomething at the bugle.something.com. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Probably would be hellogogglers at buglepodcast.com.

Why not? Thank you very much, Alice. I hope that by sitting down with me today, you felt better. I feel better whenever I sit down with you, too. Okay. And I like standing up with me as well. Yeah, that too. That's also fun.

But hopefully we've helped you achieve some catharsis. You've got some stuff off your chest. I have. You can go out into the world feeling lighter. Yes. And, you know, you haven't had to pay me £150 for this therapy session. No, but I feel much relieved. Yeah. I feel much relieved. Yeah.

I feel like a better and more well-balanced person. Thank you so much. Thank you for coming. No, no, no. Thank you. You can listen to other programs from The Bugle, including The Bugle, The Last Post, Tiny Revolutions, and The Gargle, wherever you find your podcasts.