The Gargle - Hot property | AI penis scan | Hallucinogens

Episode Date: April 4, 2024

Eleanor Morton and brand-new guest editor Andy Matthews join host Alice Fraser for episode 151 of The Gargle - the sonic glossy magazine to The Bugle, with one rule: no politics!🏚 Hot property🍆 AI penis scan🌎 Fast spinning Earth🍄 Gen Z hallucinogens🐬 ReviewsStory 1: https://www.news.com.au/finance/real-estate/i-just-threw-them-there-real-estate-agent-accidentally-burned-down-house-ahead-of-open-house/news-story/a6b8e579fd87a4027ed8020bb1cccdbdStory 2: https://www.calmara.ai/Story 3: https://apnews.com/article/leap-second-subtract-melting-ice-clocks-74eaac47b9c429910723a604897032a4Story 4: https://www.dazeddigital.com/life-culture/article/62279/1/why-are-so-many-young-people-taking-hallucinogensHOW TO SUPPORT THE GARGLE- Keep The Gargle alive and well by joining Team Bugle with a one-off payment, or become a Team Bugler or Super Bugler to receive extra bonus treats!https://www.thebuglepodcast.com/donate Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi, it's producer Chris from The Bugle here. Did you know that I have a new series of my podcast, Richie Firth Travel Hacker, out now? It's the show where Richie Firth and I talk about how to make travel better in our very special way. In this series, we discuss line bikes, Teslas, the London overground, and a whole bunch of other random stuff that possibly involves wheels

or tracks or engines of some variety. God, what a hot sell this is. I mean, you must be so excited. Listen now. ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Every sport has their big, juicy controversy. Boxing has the Mike Tyson ear bite.

Cycling has Lance Armstrong. Baseball has its steroid era. Curling has... Broomgate. It's a story of broken relationships, houses divided, corporate rivalry, and a performance-enhancing broom. It was a year I'd like to forget. Broomgate, available now. Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere.

Acast.com. This is a podcast from The Bugle. Why, this is violence, cried Julius Caesar. Then Casca made the first slash with his knife and the other senators descended, stabbing away in an attempt to protect democracy against the will of the people. At last, Brutus stepped forward, clean knife in hand, and Caesar, his life ebbing with his blood, onto the Senate floor, looked up at him and said,

this is the gargle. The sonic glossy magazine to the bugle's audio newspaper for a visual world. All of the news, none of the politics. I am your host, Alice Fraser, and your guest editors for this week's edition of the magazine are Eleanor Morton. Hello. And Andy Matthews.

Hi, this is me. You answered that like someone answering the phone in like 1987. Speaking. Or just what you say, the number that they just called. That's another fun thing. Oh man, we used to do that religiously at our household. Yes, 396425. And then they extended the phone numbers and it got to really be like 623-96425. You've got to like, it's a real mouthful. It takes up half the time. And you're paying for those phone calls as well by the second. Well, before we stick our fingers into the rotary dial

that is this week's top stories, let's have a look at the front cover of this week's magazine. The front cover of the magazine this week is the kid in Florida who was home alone when a piece of space junk crashed through both floors of his family home. The headline reads, nothing special about this kid, but we're pretty sure this is how you get superpowers. So we're keeping an eye on him. This satirical cartoon this week is Sam Bankman-Fried being sentenced to 25 years in jail for billions of dollars worth of fraudulent crypto shenanigans and business cheatery. That's not the satirical cartoon. The part that's satirical is the people on one side going, that is far too long to be put in jail, and the other people going, that is not enough time to be put in jail.

It's the people in jail with Sam Bankman-Fried that I feel sorry for. I hope that there's some sort of adjustment factor that gets, like a handicap or some sort of multiplier that gets applied to their sentences. With regard to the fact of being trapped in a small space with a man who's very into crypto and polyamory must surely make your whatever sentence you're serving feel a lot longer oh no i didn't know about the polyamory oh yeah it's like uh sisyphus they never say what what kind of rock

he was pushing up the hill whether it was a nice smooth sort of marble or granite situation or maybe like a rough sandstone, you know, makes a difference. Oh, yeah, indeed, the time served, yeah. It's almost like a time dilation kind of thing. It's a tricky one with Sam Bankman-Fried because I don't understand anything about cryptocurrency, but as far as I'm aware, he was stealing people's cryptocurrency. Ultimately, he was shifting the cryptocurrency around to different places in order to take people's cryptocurrency. But cryptocurrency, in my opinion, is essentially worthless.

So he was taking something worthless from people, which I understand, you know, it's not exactly a victimless crime, but whoever, the people who did suffer from this, it feels like they're a crimeless victim. I don't see how taking something worthless from people can actually be in any meaningful mathematical sense wrong. I thought it was refreshing that he at least pretended to be sorry, which is quite rare for these guys. Did he pretend to be sorry, though?

He said he was sorry that he got caught. He was like, I didn't know it was illegal. It didn't work out. Yeah. He was like, oh yeah, it's a shame those people can't get all their money back. Anyway, bye. But Alice, what do you think?

Do you think it's morally wrong to steal something that, as far as I can tell, might not exist? I mean, arguably money doesn't exist. That's very true. Crypto exists slightly less than money exists, but it probably exists more than absolutely nothing. Absolutely nothing, right, yeah. It exists in the way that Tinkerbell exists,

in that if we all believe in fairies, it will continue to exist. But what Sandbag Manfred did was like in Wizard of Oz where they pull the curtain back and reveal that the fairies aren't real and thereby deflated everyone's belief in the fairy that is cryptocurrency. Because you have to pay for cryptocurrency with real money. So there is money that has gone. So basically if you cried when Tinkerbell dies in Peter Pan, then cryptocurrency is real.

Okay. You see Alice being like, how do I explain this? Two or more. Who likes fairies though? I do like fairies, so thank you. I feel sorry for Sam because I feel like he's dealt with this. I mean, basically, I really relate to him because I think that he is somebody who a lot of people looking at him assumed he must be very smart.

And that is something that happens to me quite a lot because I have glasses and no social skills. But the fact is, I'm a big idiot as well. And I think that's the situation he found himself in. And, you know, at least on my part, the worthless thing that I trick people into paying me for is art. But he made the mistake of, I mean, making it, what, numbers? I think you've accidentally put your, no, maybe on purpose,

put your finger on the crux of this problem. I don't know, Andy. But you've definitely put your finger on the crux of the problem, which is the division, the artificial division between arts and sciences because this is a man who was a great bullshit artist. He would have made a great comedian or performer. He believed his own bullshit. He was extremely creative.

He just thought what he should be doing was maths and he was being very artistic with maths and if he'd been appreciated for the artistic beauty of what he was doing with maths, then no one would have got in any trouble but people thought that he was actually you know cool top story this week house burns down burned down by a real estate agent trying to sell house that is the top story this week a real estate agent in sydney accidentally burned down a property that they were meant to be selling. Andy Matthews, you're in Australia. You're our man on the ground.

Can you unpack this story for us? Yeah, well, so let's – I will. So what's happened is that this real estate agent has been taken to court and made to pay almost a million dollars, and I think that that's great. But I want to make it absolutely clear I think that that should have happened regardless of whether or not they burned down a house I think the burning down of the house is immaterial it's a useful pretext

it's like how they got Al Capone for tax evasion the important thing is that a real estate agent has finally been made to pay for their crimes I don't see why this should stop them I think that the realist she should have gone on and continued to try and sell the house while it was ablaze you know how would you how would you do that well it's filled with natural light uh it's got passive heating and it's in stop drop and rolling distance from the shops

basically what happened was she saw that they'd left some sheets out on the deck and she threw the sheets down the stairs, basically. Or she threw them into a downstairs room on top of a light, which she then switched on in order to provide a sort of a ghostly ambience. I always think I'm paranoid for um being like I put my iron away when it's still a bit warm in the cupboard and I'm always like you know because I've got OCD I'm like what if it starts a fire what if the flat burns down what if I come home and the flats burn down the whole blocks burn down everyone's like Ellen you got to pay for

the whole thing um but now I'm worried that really will happen because um because I didn't know lights could I mean I neither did she obviously so but it was it was very very estate agent of her to um to see the local the current tenant stuff and be like oh don't want to look at that just throw it in the cupboard uh everything's burned down um also I like that when she called the owner uh what she said was and I'm gonna do, guys, so I hope you enjoy this. Oh, my God, Pete, I think I have burnt down your house. So I think that's pretty funny. I am sorry to tell you, Eleanor, that was just good enough an Australian accent to not be funny.

No! Damn my talent. She's got one of those photos as well estate agents often have where it's like like an acting headshot um which i don't really know why estate agents have like acting headshots like you pick your estate agent based on how nicely they've dressed or how charismatic they look um because as we know we only pick estate agents based on how desperate we are i will say it looks like a very nice i'm looking at the picture it's a very nice house before it burnt down but even even now it's burnt down you know what i wonder if they can they again like you said they can sell that as something there'll be someone out there who needs you know some sticks to live under um well that's it i mean that's it people say that reducing this house to a smouldering pile of charred wood and broken glass is a bad thing. But that is now probably one of the few affordable rentals available in New South Wales.

few people out there who's actually doing something to increase the stock of affordable rentals in in this country here and i think she should be applauded a hero a hero i don't think that's too strong a word your ad section now because you can't be what you can't buy do you have allergies mysterious rashes weird itchy bits odd fainting. Try an elimination diet. Strip everything out of your diet and start fresh with just half a glass of water. Half a glass of water. Hypoallergenic. Terms and conditions apply. Speak to your healthcare provider.

If you're allergic to half a glass of water, try the other half. Tiger, tiger burning bright in the forests of the night. What immortal hand or eye could frame thy fearful symmetry? Looking for a frame? Try Ace Frames and Framing Shop. And this episode of the podcast is brought to you by ducks. Way weirder than you think they are. Ducks. That's your ad section for today. Ducks, they do a great job of keeping all the weirdness on the inside. I think that's their secret, isn't it?

Like, because they've got those freaky, like, gill things inside their beaks, and then they've got weird corkscrew penises. But they're all inside, and there's a great lesson there for all of us, I think, is just to keep all that shit hidden away. Yep, all cute on the outside they're all inside. And there's a great lesson there for all of us, I think, is just to keep all that shit hidden away. Yep, all cute on the outside and on the inside, dubious approach to consent, all that kind of stuff. I strategically left that out of mine, but you're right, Alice. You're absolutely right.

Absolutely right. ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Every sport has their big, juicy controversy. Boxing has the Mike Tyson ear bite. Cycling has Lance Armstrong. Baseball has its steroid era curling has broom gate it's a story of broken relationships houses divided corporate rivalry and a performance

enhancing broom it was a year i'd like to forget broom gate available now Broomgate. Available now. Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com That brings us to our AI penis news, That brings us to our AI penis news, which is the news that there's a new company on the market trying to tell you to take a photo of your partner's junk and send it in to them so that they can check for suspicious spots or rashes.

Eleanor, you look suspicious. Can you unpack this story for us right now? I deeply hate this. Yeah, so apparently there is a company. I mean, I've clicked on the link itself. It is something you can visit, Kalmara AI. You send them a picture, not of your own penis. It seems to stress, but your partner's penis.

Don't send them your penis. They want a's penis. Don't send them your penis. They don't want your, they want a different penis. And then, and then their AI technology, which as we know is always, can always do amazing things and never gets the number of fingers wrong, will tell you if your partner's penis

has any kind of diseases. And I'm just wondering if it's visible on a photo photo it should be visible to your naked eye so i i don't really i think it's for the sort of people who need ais uh to to check everything for them because i wonder if this is for like um maybe the suggestion is like uh for kind of one night stands perhaps like for you know just so, perhaps like for, you know, just so you don't have to, you know, just just so you know, everything's fine. Yeah, because I think if you were in a long term relationship, instead of taking an AI picture of your penis, you'd say, hey, should we go and get some checkups to make sure we're all good in the hood? the hood um and um so but i also wonder how in the throes of passion with a stranger you bring up that you might want to quickly take a little picture and just just send it off um to to ai

and uh maybe they'll be into that i'm odd or not i've just never wanted to sleep with anyone who i couldn't ask about a rash uh yes me too, exactly. It's one of the most attractive things in a partner, the feeling that I could ask them about a rash. I think that's really hot. Yeah, instead of, you know, getting down to it and having a look and going, oh, and saying to them, what's that? Your instinct is to take out your phone and take a picture of it. That wouldn't make me feel safe, but I wouldn't feel flattered if I was with someone

and they just quickly snapped a pic. Not a sneaky, sexy pic, not like a revenge porn thing, but just like a clinical, like, take a look at this. Full harsh lighting. Oh, they've also got FAQs that I'm enjoying. Can I use Kalmara on other area other than penis? So first of all, great grammar there. The answer is...

You can't even get your spelling right. It's really in its element when focusing on the D. Its genius brain isn't quite tuned for other zones like balls, booty or mouth, meaning it might miss the mark accuracy wise. so basically somebody has spent a lot of time really honing the technology to take pictures of only penises no no no they have trained ai on the data that is available on the public web which is one billion dick pics that's why they're not accurate on anything else i mean it strikes me that that might be the only genuine use case

is if someone sent you a dick pic and you can say no because you have herpes. That's a good point, yeah. And if someone was trying to harass you with them, which, you know, has happened to me and maybe has happened to you, Alice, as a female performer, you could just shoot back, OK, listen, I've uploaded it to Camara

and you need to get checked and then that freaks them out. So I don't know, maybe that's a good use. The only notable dick pic that I've ever received was in the form of a compliment after a show where somebody sent me a dick pic next to a thumbs up. It was a penis and a thumbs up and the word underneath was good show. So I feel like the combination of the penis and the thumbs up was a little bit redundant

I feel like either one of those definitely wasn't two thumbs or two penises it was definitely not a man with a penis thumb I don't know some strange things out there Andy you have a penis what do you think

no thank you um and thank you for giving me the benefit of the doubt um it i i have i have concerns about this uh firstly because i'm like eleanor i wasn't aware that like because it's it says if you're not sure about a spot on a penis you can send them a photo of it like i wasn't aware that there were any spots that it was okay to have on a penis i thought you know the rule is if they've got a spot you better not you know that's that's nice that's my policy unless of course you both have the same spots right in which case it's if the spots align then you'll be fine or if you're both leopards indeed yeah yeah and they haven't specified that. And that's another of my concerns, actually,

because I do a podcast with a guy called Al, and I've discovered that it's very difficult. Now that AI is in the news all the time, I've discovered it's very difficult to tell in writing whether or not somebody is referring to AI, all in caps, or somebody called Al, capital A, lowercase l. So I haven't looked into the Ts and Cs, but I have just scanned their website,

so I can't be completely sure whether or not it is AI looking at these photographs or just some bloke called Alistair taking a look at all your dick pics and going, ooh, no. Yeah, I love that idea. Oh, I don't know if he's saying, oh, no, maybe that's his thing. Maybe he's tricked people. Maybe he likes diseased penises and he's like he's found a way to make everyone another great one another great one good job looking good guys yeah you'll be fine

i've never taken a dick pic but i have tried a lot of those online identity i've had to do a lot of those sort of you know those new digital online identity things where they like do a scan of your face and you've got to get your face exactly in the circle and i can tell you it's incredibly frustrating to be in the situation where you're like your face is in the circle and the message keeps popping up you know uh point point the camera at a face no face detected and i can only imagine the incredible boner killing power of your partner being there with their mobile phone, trying various different angles as the computer says, no penis in image, no penis. Please point the camera at a penis. That is not a penis. I like the idea that the boner would survive until then. It would definitely survive your partner whipping out a camera and being,

excuse me, I need to wait 45 minutes to an hour. Boners can survive a lot. They really can. And that brings us to our reviews section. As you know, each week we ask our guest editors to bring in something to review out of five stars elena what have you brought in for us this week uh i have brought in eating easter eggs for breakfast now uh initially i was excited about this as a concept uh i was all in i was like

yes easter eggs for breakfast could do that forever uh i have to say three easter eggs in is too many easter eggs so I will as an experience a little bit overwhelming and I don't know if you saw the news the other week of the British Health Organisation or whoever it was some guy was like

some doctor was like don't eat your easter eggs in one go and obviously everyone in Britain went can't tell me what to do and I was one of those people and I feel sick now your easter eggs in one go and obviously everyone in britain went can't tell me what to do and uh i was one of those people and i feel sick now so um i would give the initial experience of five and the result of one five and then one yeah andy uh matthews what have you brought in for us this week uh i've brought it brought in um this book that i wrote uh my parents recently were cleaning

out our old house and and gave uh gave me some of my old possessions they've given me this book that I wrote. My parents recently were cleaning out our old house and gave me some of my old possessions. They've given me this book that I wrote as a small child called The Smallest Dolphin in the Ocean. And it's only three pages long, but I'd like to take you through it if that's okay. Here we go. The Smallest Dolphin in the Ocean. Danny was the smallest dolphin in the school.

He was the size of a pencil. His favorite thing was making fun of the other dolphins but he was very powerful he could creep up on sharks he could get away from octopus he lived in a huge cave underwater that's page one okay so far so not particularly disturbing. He did not have any family. They had all been killed by whalers, but he had lots of friends, like Moby Dick, but his best friend was Billy. His worst enemy was Slopey the shark. One day, Danny got all his friends and went to Slopey's house and killed him.

Wow. and went to Sloppy's house and killed him. Wow! But he had so many other enemies he could not count. When they had killed five of his other enemies, they went home. The next day, there was a huge commotion outside his front door. When he opened, he saw a pile of presents and all of his friends on top of it it's your birthday danny they said the end oh that's the end that's how it ends yeah um can i just say i think that's the sort of thing that um if if there was a true crime documentary about andy matthews they that, like, even from his earliest years,

Andy displayed a tendency towards violence. And people would be like, yeah, we knew he was going wrong from the vicious dolphin story. Look, I need to know, sorry, just for clarity, what's the punctuation here regarding he had so many enemies and he could not count? He couldn't count the enemies or he just couldn't count them. Good question.

Oh God. He had so many other enemies he could not count. You know what? There's no punctuation at all. So I can't tell you. And I think that's what makes this great art. It's the ambiguity that makes it so compelling. You've E.E. Cummins-ed it.

Yeah. There's something about, you know, it starts quite conventionally, dare I say. You know, there's a small, vulnerable dolphin who's not, you know, the best. And then it immediately becomes actually he's the scariest killer dolphin in the world and he's got so many enemies you can't count them um i loved it yeah and eleanor i think you were on the right track so when in my review i will give this five out of a possible five red flags for future sociopathic behavior only towards sharks i love it i think it's gonna i think it's gonna be a blockbuster spinning earth news now not the news that the

earth is spinning but the news that the earth is spinning at a slightly different rate from what we assumed and we may have to subtract a second from the clocks of the world. Eleanor Morton, you blink a lot. Can you unpack this story for us? Right, let's see. Can I? So because of, as far as I can tell,

so I didn't even know this was possible. The Earth is spinning faster, partly because I believe the ice caps are melting. I guess that makes it faster because the ice slows things down, as we know. And so this means that the boffins in charge of clocks,

because that's a job... No, listen, this makes sense. Tell us more about the clock boffins. Right, the clock boffins, they have realised that if the Earth is spinning, I assume a fraction faster, very impossible to tell, they're going to have to take away a second from the clocks. So like a leap year, but backwards and not a year a second but not yet i think they're going to do it in a couple of years so i think we i think we're good for now

but in maybe 2028 we'll have a second less than we have done and um we've already lost an hour this week actually so a second i don't i'm not that bothered about um but they seem very that the boffins seem very um concerned about this this missing second i mean again once as i've stressed many times on this podcast i am not a scientist i know and i can't tell why we should even who would notice maybe we've lost loads of seconds i mean you know to know, to me, it doesn't seem important, but I understand it is. I think I know measurably less about this story now after listening to you speak on it.

Yes. I'm the opposite of a science communicator. You come to me if you want to feel like you know less. Also, the core of the Earth is unpredictable, and that also makes the Earth speed up. But again, I couldn't tell you why. Alice? So basically, we have a couple of different versions of time.

Right, okay. You have astronomical time and atomic time right you don't match astronomical time falls behind atomic time by 2.5 milliseconds every day why why do we have two because one is slightly more accurate than the other double handling right okay also the earth is uh slowing down and speeding up i don't i think think Alice wrote this story just to annoy me and confuse me, and it's not real. I think I'd know less about it again after Alice's explanation. Up until fairly recently, the Earth has been slowing down.

We've been changing things up in order to factor that in. But now, because the molten core of the Earth is sloshing around in unpredictable ways, the Earth has sped up again. And therefore, we're going to have to dock a second off time. So we're all going to have to just pause and buffer for a second at one point. I'm happy with that. That sounds nice. Let's just take a little bit of time out just recollect

our thoughts and everyone just chill you know why not i think that's not again eleanor that's not what's happening oh no that's not what's happening we've got less time yeah you take a picture of your clock and you send it in the ai tells you if it's got a disease on it if it's too fast too slow i mean i always i was all my clocks are 10 minutes fast just so i don't get late for anything so um losing a second from that will make me will make me late actually which is pretty rude of time that's why that salvador dali painting happened uh all the clocks went floppy because somebody was trying to take a photograph of them um to send it into a website um i uh i'm unhappy about this because i know which second they're going to take from the year it's going to be the last second and as a procrastinator that

was the i needed that second that was the one where i got everything done and they and once again we yeah i mean we procrastinators we suffer again and again it always falls on the procrastinators you know and one of these days you know we're not we're not gonna we're not gonna sit around and take this much longer i mean a fair bit longer we're gonna sit around and take it a fair bit longer but eventually you know things things are going to change. This is how bad climate change is though, right? I knew that we were running out of time to tackle climate change, but it turns out we are literally running out of time as well. Because of climate change, yeah.

Because of climate change. I don't think this makes sense. I mean, just to dive into the physics of this a little bit, isn't the Earth spinning, in this case, a little bit like one of those ice skaters spinning around, right? Centrifugal force. All of that, right? And then when you put your arms out wide, when they spread their body out wide, right,

they go slower because angular momentum is conserved, right? And if the mass is distributed further from the centre of the orbiting object, then the velocity must decrease in order to keep that orbital velocity, must decrease to keep the same angular momentum. If the Earth's caps are melting, then surely the ice is melting from the poles, water will move away from the poles, mass will move out further towards the equator of the Earth. And then, therefore, the Earth should spin slower. I call bullshit on this.

I'm going to turn into some sort of one-second truther. I think they're taking that second from us for some other reason. They're giving it to the billionaires. Probably Elon Musk wants that second to harass more of his employees or something. So that was really well articulated sort of engineering understanding of the way the world works but you have to understand

that when ice melts it gets slippier and so then the earth moves faster because it's more slippery in space. Moves faster. I don't know what's true and what's not anymore. I can't tell what are jokes and what is real science. And we're both wearing glasses so you can't tell yeah i know you know with with climate change

which is something that makes me very anxious you know i thought the deal was everything gets warmer apart from some bits that get colder and there'll be more flooding and more natural disaster and that's bad um and now they're just adding like all sorts of extra things like uh we'll run out of time and God knows what else. So thanks a lot, climate change. That's all I can say. Well, speaking of making no sense, that brings us to our final story of today, which is apparently hallucinogen use among Generation Z

has spiked since the pandemic and is showing no signs of slowing down, unlike the Earth's core. Andy Matthews, you're high. Can you unpack this story for us? Look, all I can say is that I think that, look, I understand young people wanting to experience higher planes of existence because, as I understand it, the astral realm is one of the few remaining areas that hasn't been gentrified and they can still possibly afford to buy property. I don't know much more about this because I have never in my entire life been offered

drugs by anybody and I can only assume... too alice oh me no me elena oh sorry you too elena right incredible all of us all of us yeah and yet and yet here we are doing our news podcast like a couple of fun dudes i mean what do people want from us so i was once uh talked into doing mushrooms by a friend of mine who on the day that had been appointed for the doing of the mushrooms then said actually you've got a really weird brain and banned me from doing the mushrooms well is this what i'm scared of you see as a very anxious person a lot of anxious people will take drugs for that but i'm doing the opposite i don't want to take any drugs in case they make me more anxious. And the way I'm talking about this now,

you can tell I'm an anxious person. Alice, just checking, did you show up on the day and say, hello, is this the day that has been appointed for the doing of the mushrooms? Because I think that could have been the moment at which they decided, you know what, we don't need to strip away any layers of this person i think i think we get it i think we know what we're dealing with

yeah look that's the closest i've ever gotten to doing any drugs they spent weeks and weeks talking me into it and then just changed their mind yeah the the more you talked about it the more they started to realize it might be a bad idea it's interesting because uh the way that young young people oh my god uh gen z are using hallucinogens seems to be different from the way other generations have used them and i say that as very much an observer um not a participant as you can tell but um uh yeah well it's interesting because people always say like oh you know clubbing's better with drugs uh sex is better everything's better with drugs and um you know you get an amazing experience if you go out and you do drugs and as far as i can tell you you know

the drug is the important thing there you could sit in your room under the bed and have a great time if you were on the right thing so i think gen Gen Z seem to be doing a lot of stuff at home, which I quite like. They seem to be doing it for medicinal self-medication purposes rather than partying reasons, which I think is quite wholesome in a way. Well, I feel like this is just a victory for drug marketing because now you have the hallucinogens

for the people who are rebellious against their parents and who want to rebel against the laws but then you also have the life hackers microdosing little bits of mdma or little bits of ketamine or little bits of mushrooms in order to optimize their productivity uh if they're one of these sort of life hack people that want to wake up at four o'clock in the morning and have an ice bath and sort of the opposite of the point of drugs, really. Becoming more productive. This is like how Coca-Cola owns Coca-Cola, but also Mount Franklin Water.

So they own both alternatives. So if they've got the life hackers on lock and the school dropouts, they've got everything. They've covered all the segments of the market. I will say, when I found out that MDMA and ecstasy were the same thing, I felt a little bit cheated. I'd always been led to believe that MDMA was this super cool drug for cool people

and that ecstasy was a 90s drug for people who liked smileys. Actually, it's the same thing. They're not cooler, actually. So does anyone else have a reaction? They're cooler than us. No, I don't think so.

I don't think so. I got a llama. I don't know if you guys can see. I got a llama mug. So I don't see how anyone could be cooler than this. And that brings us to the end of the show. I'm flipping through the ad section at the back of the magazine. Eleanor, have you got anything to plug?

I am at Macunlith Comedy Festival in Wales next month. The 3rd, I think, is the day I'm there. But, you know, it's all in the brochure. So if you're in Wales, come to Macunlith and do that. It's very fun. And, yeah, you just find me in all the normal places that you can find comedy

and online stuff. Just Google my name and I should turn up. Andy, have you got anything to plug? Only my podcast, Two in the Think Tank that I do with Al. Not AI, that's Al. I do a scare trombley virtual

and also i have a children's book called gustav and henry um there's two volumes of adventures for young readers so if you're um aged five to nine and listening to this um go just go online and um just start searching stuff up and get your parents credit card and i'm sure it'll work out great i thought you were when you said a children's book i thought you were going to say the dolphin books and i was like nice market it that's true if you if you liked uh that daddy the smallest dolphin in the ocean and want to see what that author grew up to write um yes it's considerably less gritty five stars on Goodreads I'm Alice Fraser

you can find me online at patreon.com slash alicefraser it's a one stop shop for all of my stand up specials podcasts and blogs, especially my most recent two stand up specials which would normally cost you £10 at Go Faster Stripe, you can either get them at Go Faster Stripe or you can go and sign up at

patreon.com slash alicefraser get them for free as well as my weekly writers meetings and my weekly salons. This is a Bugle podcast and Alice Fraser production. Your editor is Ped Hunter. Your executive producer is Chris Skinner. I'll talk to you again next week. You can listen to other programs from the Bugle, including The Bugle, Catharsis, Tiny Revolutions, Top Stories,

and The Gargle, wherever you find your podcasts.