The Gargle - Jake the Rizzbot and a Social Media ban for Under 16s!

Episode Date: June 17, 2026

On this week's issue of the glossy newspaper pullout The Gargle, Alice is joined by new co-hosts Robin Clyfan and Rosie Holt as the trio jump into this week's science and tech news from the beginning of El Niño, Jake the Rizzbot terrorising the streets, to Musk becoming a trillionaire and the UK governments plan to implement a ban on social media for under 16s. Alice Fraser: https://www.patreon.com/AliceFraserRobin Clyfan: https://www.patreon.com/cw/RogersVelvetRendezvous?l=en-GB & https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PDPrQlnID8YRosie Holt: https://www.edfringe.com/tickets/whats-on/rosie-holt-the-illegal-aliens-have-landed🎤 Get tickets for the LIVE episode of The Gargle HEREhttps://www.angelcomedy.co.uk/event-detail/the-gargle-live-fri-26th-jun-the-bill-murray-london-tickets-202606261800/Subscribe to Realms Unknown - a fantasy, sci-fi and speculative fiction podcast from Alice Fraser and The Bugle!https://www.thebuglepodcast.com/news/realms-unknownYou fund what we do!https://www.thebuglepodcast.com/donateProduced by Laura Turner, with Executive production from Chris Skinner Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, London! The Gargall is coming to London live on the 26th of June. I will be there. Our co-hosts for The Gargle Live will be Tom Neenan and Alison Spittle. It's going to be a delightful evening with some surprises. Head over to The Buglepodcast.com slash live or check out the link in the description below. I will see you there. 26th of June, the Bill Murray. Welcome to The Gargle, a satirical science and technology news show. I'm your host, Alice Fraser, comedian, writer and the only person who has can explain both quantum entanglement and Dunning Kruger theory, or rather I very confidently will have been about to be able to tell you that at the same time as my alternate self will, but then we'll learn another fact and tip over into realizing I know nothing.

Here to help me hot take spit take or hot spit take the latest from labs, launch pads and lizard brains, I have two brand new co-hosts who know how to rinse, repeat, and gargle science and technology jargon. First, she's the pioneer scientist who asked the question, what gender Naya Twain feels like it's Rosie Holt. Hello, thank you very much for having me. It's a delight and he's the talent manager of the Albatross in the rhyme of the ancient mariner, crawling with legs into the giggle for the first time.

It's Robin Cliffan. Hello, thank you so much for having me. I'm delighted to have you both. Our front cover news of this week, Cosmic Corps baffles astronomers in the galactic downtown, NASA has spotted a possible supernova remains right now. next to the Milky Way supermassive black hole, the suspected supernova remnants sitting just 26,000 light years from Earth in the Galactic Center,

expanding at 2 million miles an hour, which sounds menacing, but basically only if you plan to live for another couple of billion years to see how it goes. An indestructible sponge has been squeezed for its secrets, ready for human trial, maybe in 50 years. Russian scientists have sequenced the genome of Halasaka Dojardini, the creature that laughs at death, ha ha, ha, ha, ha. As much as sponge can laugh, it's a morgue.

It can completely regenerate after being put into a blender, torn into individual cells. They can find each other and reassemble into a whole organism. Scientists have now sequenced the genome and are hoping to one day trigger similar processes in humans, which sounds appalling. Rosie, would you like to be reassembled from your blended constituent parts? Yeah, I think that sounds really lovely. Why not? And it's a new start, isn't it?

It's a new start. It's just building from the old, but making something new. delightful. And a social media ban for under 16s has come into effect in the UK following as always, as with time zones in Australia's footsteps. Robin, how do you feel about the under 16s being banned from society? Yes, I think they deserve to be banned. They don't deserve any joy and all the funds should go to pensioners just living their life and their massive houses and their triple-lock pensions. So double down the pain on the young people, that's why I say.

Look, I think it's been a great thing for Australia. insofar as, you know, they did eventually have to ban toddlers from driving tractors. And we all know that social media is just, you know, bad for you. Exactly. And I do hope it's kind of like a sliding scale. Like, you know, we start in all seriousness. We start by banning it with children. But like with alcohol and cigarettes, we decided they were bad for children first. And then it maybe woke up, they were also not particularly helpful for adults

and maybe had some systematic problems with our attention spans, possibly ruining democracy and our individual lives as well. So maybe it's the beginning of all that tech regulation, legislation that we'd so desperately need. I mean, maybe in 20 years' time, you'll go down to the servo and spend $30 for the opportunity to call a stranger a c-a-h-hout online. Exactly.

You can pay for your hate rather than just have it freely and pay in your attention span and being groomed for advertising, yeah. And that brings us to this week's top stories. Top story of the top stories this week. El Niño has begun. I've written a poem to farewell, La Nina, our princess.

Goodbye, chilled out, queen of the eastern Pacific. Your trade winds were fierce. Your up swelling's terrific. You flooded Australia and froze the Midwest and made for some mild summer days at your best. Very good. La Nina, the wet, cold lady of weather, has been cast from her throne,

presumably by the manosphere and replaced with hot, hot El Niño. Rosie, you've faced an oncoming headwind before. Can you unpack this story for us? So El Niño, am I even pronouncing it right? El Niño? El Niño. I think that sounds sexy anyway.

Is the natural Pacific weather pattern that pushes up global temperatures and it's officially begun, though they say that we're really going to see the effects in 2027. But it's going to make, there's obviously been a little thing called climate change going on in the last few years and this is going to make things are considerably worse. So strap in everyone. Well, as with all events in life, you know, anything that is already happening that is going bad

can be exponentially made more difficult by the introduction of an hysterical little boy running around just making things wetter. Robin, do you have a. any plans for meteorological jazz time when everything's going to be going up and down and back and forth and winds and floods and rains? What's your strategy? I think my plan is probably to buy more fans and I don't mean in a kind of persuade people to pay people to come to my Edinburgh shows or kind of buy them on Instagram. But I already have four fans in my room. I'm absolutely pathetic in the heat. So I've got no confidence about me being able to survive extreme weather events. And obviously we're already in the foothills of it. I've already got four fans.

I've already done incredibly embarrassing things like last year in Croatia. I became so disorientated by the heat that I had to quickly leave a beach, lost my way in a wood, and I found myself back at the car, but had accidentally put both the air conditioning and the underseat heating on. So I think there's a strong chance that in hot weather conditions, I will lose my mind. And look, everybody wants a cool face and a hot butt. I think you've made exact right choices in the way. that circumstance. Rosie, what are your plans for when things go wild? I mean, I like what you were

saying, Robin, about putting what, so you had the aircon and the heat on in your car? That's like you're creating El Nino in your car. Yeah, it's a kind of microclimate. Totally. You're doing your own thing and I like that. You're standing against what's going on outside and having your own El Nino in the car. And I quite like to emulate that just wherever I go in the house or in the car. You know, who cares what's going on outside. We are in the golden age of climate change, though, I think. So the weather has been quite nice in the UK, at least, in the last year. Yeah, we're in, are we in the kind of lobster enjoying the water stage before it frantically taps and crawls out? Totally. And I think it's important we enjoy this stage. I do miss the

seasons. I do miss having kind of spring and autumn, which are filled with kind of possibility and autumn with on wee. And now I feel it's just freezing cold and then 80 degrees and there's nothing in between. So we're going to miss nuance, I feel. Forget, leave them behind, leave them in the past. Don't look behind you. March into our glorious, terrifying future. And that brings us to your reviews section. As you know, each week we ask our guests in to review something out of five stars. Robin, what have you brought in for us to review? I'd like to give five out of five stars to screaming at the top of your voice into a microphone with loads of metal heads. Oh. I can recommend it is deeply cathartic, good for the soul, and possibly opening one of the portals into hell.

I was recently at a music festival, and I hosted a death metal scream competition, and boy, is that therapeutic. Yeah, screaming, yelping, sometimes you sound like a kind of demon. Other times you sound like a kind of very confused goat or someone who's just kind of smoked 80 marbras a day, which is what my voice is now sounding like a kind of cross-bishop. between tarmac and bovril or whatever's happened. But standing with loads of other people and screaming is incredibly, yeah, incredibly, I'd say, primal and you let go of whatever sheesh you were carrying until you got into that moment.

Don't do it by yourself. I think you do need a lot of bearded and unbearded people in black denim and leather, so make it appear normal. So, yeah, I'd highly recommend screaming at the top of your lungs with loads of metal heads into a microphone. I mean, out of five stars, how would you rank that? I would give that 4.9 out of five. The only percentage kind of point decimal decrease there

is the high chance that you're going to catch someone else's cold. How do you rank screaming anyway, other than obviously the mechanism that they applied in Monsters Inc? Yeah, depth, breadth and gravel, I think, are the three ingredients. Yeah, how far can you project it? How rich is it? Is it kind of creamy like a thick milk? Or is it like a thin soup? And how basic is it? And how far does it travel? And how terrifying is it? I think those are the many criteria that you could use here. Lizzie, what have you brought us to review out of five stars?

It's a late night strategy board game. But with a crucial ingredient of if the designated games master is, is wasted and stoned. Amazing. How was that? How did that go down? Well, I would give it a 3.5 out of five. Still fun, still great, but everything takes a lot longer. And you can, especially because, you know, sometimes with these strategy games, there's quite a lot of, like, rules and things like that. And if you're like me and you're not really a regular player,

you've been coerced into it. And then if the Games Master is quite, or wasted or whatever, then you might find that after an hour and a half, he's missed out a key bit and you have to restart the whole game again. But fun still to be had. That sounds amazing. Late night stone strategy board game with a drunken, with a drunken dungeon master,

sounds a little bit like a religious view of the world. Where God is high. I like it. There's all these rules and you don't, they don't necessarily make a lot of sense, but you will be punished for breaking them. That's the end of your review section. Now it is time for Jake the Rizbot.

I mean, there's a lot of doom and gloom about technology at the moment where everybody worried about our jobs getting stolen and not so much about the post-job utopia that awaits all of us. There is an new autonomous sensation roaming the streets of Austin, Texas, known as Jake the Rizbot. He wears a cowboy hat. He says, cool stuff. He wears a silver chain and yellow and black Nike dunks and a knock-off cowboy hat.

Robin, you've been seen in a knock-off cowboy hat before. Sure have. You'd knock a cowboy hat off if it was on your head by accident. I would. I mean, what's quite perturbing about this robot as well is he's just wearing a cowboy hat, so it does kind of stress the fact that he's naked everywhere else. And this robot, I have to say, forgive my blue language, but he is a dick. He just walked through town roasting people.

And this is to quote him directly. I think he just walks up to someone and says he's going to use them like a USB port. So it's horrible. It's not nice. And he's flipping them the finger constantly. And he also has a security guard, I've noticed. He wanders around town with a big, beefy person who can intervene at any point should he provoke the locals. Well, moreover, as with so many of these technological breakthroughs, he is not fully autonomous.

He is being a remote controlled by a wireless controller, presumably, in an unmight. white band that is following him slowly down the street. The thing that he is ostensibly sort of groundbreaking in is that he's blending AI-assisted motion with real-time commands. But I feel like you can't really call him an autonomous robot if there's somebody with a hand up his... Exactly. It seems like quite a good analogy for AI or the internet in general, which is it promises an awesome, either dystopian or possibly utopian future, but actually what it delivers on is juvenile entertainment, which is possibly

the most arresting thing. Rosie, would you take a picture if a robot came and hit on you in the street? Yes, I would take a picture. I would do it for the ground. I think it's important to do things for the ground. I think we've been slightly spoiled, though, haven't we, by things like he sort of doesn't even quite

look like short circuit. He looks a little bit unsteady and pathetic. I'm not, you know, I think we've been a bit spoiled now by the movies. We go, is this it? Is this what we've got? And as you say, it's just some man as well who's controlling him. I'm not a fan of Jake the wristbot.

I think if you're going to have a robot and you're going to give it a personality, why is it the worst personality? Exactly. Yeah. Like the only thing that justifies that kind of like fingerguns, douchebag behavior is the concept somewhere in the back of your mind that it'll make someone fall onto your dick. And this robot doesn't have a dick. No.

Maybe he will and maybe that's the next thing. A terrifying new stage. He just has a smooth kind of metal orb at the moment, which is equally as scary. And that brings us to more in human nature news, which is apparently throughout time, throughout history, across cultures, humans, when given the option of which way to turn will turn left, anti-clockwise, they're going to go, they're going to zoolander it by preference almost all of the time. It's a left turn bias of which we have. You have no exact known mechanic. I have a friend who's a sword fighter, who does sword fighting, and he says it's to protect your heart, that your default is to protect your heart,

which is on the left hand side. I wonder if people who have their hearts on the other side, some people do, would default turn in the opposite direction? I don't know. Robin, you're slowly sliding to the left. Can you unpack this story for us? I am. I largely think this story reveals the inherent human desire to be a little,

bit progressive. We all just move slightly to the left through life. So as a member of the Wogorati, I'd like to see it as evidence of the innate human nature to base politics on compassion and progression. But yeah, the story is quite interesting. It's just that. And it happens across generations, across cultures. And it also happens across ages as well. Yeah, so they tested it with primary school children, with adults and with people who are right and left-handed. So that doesn't seem to be a factor. I think it does tell you why when you get lost, you feel like you're going in circles. Because if you're just to walk in a straight line, you'd probably leave the place. But faced with an empty desert and no clear signposts and without a compass,

you will most likely just go around in a big anti-clockwise circle. I mean, what an amazing, what an amazing period of history while that you have an entire group of scientists, his job is left directionality focus grouping. Rosie, do you feel like you have a theory as to why this is happening. No, but it is really, really fascinating. When I first read it, I felt a bit smug as a left hand, or I felt like that it was because we're controlling the narrative in some way. But actually, when they were doing the experiments, they, to begin with, they thought, well, if you're left-handed, you're probably going to more veer right wing, right-wing, oh God, what a slip of the tongue. Ring an apology spell, Harry. Left-handed, you're more likely to veer the right, but then they found

that that wasn't the case. It was just most people. were varying to left. But it's really, really interesting. I hope it's for some higher purpose. I hope it's something that's going to become clear in many, many years to come. Maybe like it's the only direction into the spaceship that's about to leave Earth in 2015. Robin, that's exactly what I was thinking. Yes, that's a magical door will open. It'll be on everyone's left. It's a portal to the magical door of metal. I mean, it's been going for ages. In the 1896 modern Olympics, the first modern

Olympics, it was a clockwise direction around the running track, but athletes all said they felt like it was an unnatural direction to run in. Do you think, because it says nearly everyone, everywhere, veers left, why do you think there are a few people who aren't?

Are they special? Yeah, possibly. Contrarians have a podcast about it. If they found that all the people veering right were ones, people with podcasts. They were people with podcasts where they talk about their opinions. Exactly. And they'll be the only people left on Earth when all the left-handed people to go into the spaceship in 2050. Yeah, they'll have to have a podcast. Yes, just podcasts talking to themselves. Kind of like now. I'm already at the point where I will have to resist the

temptation. I do this on a regular basis. I have to resist the temptation to end a conversation in real life by saying, and where can people find you online? Speaking of which, that brings us to the ad section, your ad section now, because you can't be what you can't buy. And this episode of the podcast is brought to you by Kachu, the subscription-based immune system. For too many years, our health has been at the whims of chance, germs, biology and hygiene. Now, no longer. Kachu allows you to schedule your illness and immunity in a way that serves your needs. Seek of getting brutally sick the moment you finish a massive project, try drip-feeding symptoms through your whole life instead.

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They don't know what they smell like. Why should you? And that's your ad section for today. And that brings us to Trillionaire News. Now new trillionaire has dropped first trillionaire. Elon Musk has become the first trillionaire with the launch of SpaceX as a publicly traded company. Rosie Holt, you're a big Elon Musk, Stan. Can you unpack this story for us?

Yeah, couldn't have happened to a nicer chap. So he is the world's first trillionaire, but there has been quite a lot of controversy over this. I found the most interesting part of this was that according to a UK-based anti-poverty charity, well, Oxfam, as most people know it, Musk's wealth now exceeds that of the poorest 3.8 billion people in the world combined,

which is an awful lot. And I think the Gene McGlein, who's the chief influencing officer at Oxfam, said this should be a wake-up call and this is a dark day for global democracy. So well done, Elon. Congratulations. But not so good for the rest of us.

I mean, it's extraordinary. It's so, I can't even, I mean, I always struggle getting my head around being a billionaire. Trillionaire is... Yeah. It's very extreme. Yeah, I've got those little blocks where I'm teaching my children how much 10 is compared to 1

and how much 100 is compared to 10 and so on and so forth. Yeah. I mean, they don't got blocks big enough for that particular thought experiment and I would want to vacuum them up at the end of the day. Robin? Yeah, I think it's such a good point. I think it's so hard to visualize those big numbers and I think it's actually a real problem politically.

For example, with track and trace, which was all those years ago now, if you remember, that was 37 billion. And I almost felt like it was such an enormous number. And one reason it didn't get as much political traction as it should have done is it doesn't sound as big as 300 million or something else. We as humans need to find a way, I think, of communicating how big these numbers are when faced with things that we've never seen before, extreme wealth that is unique historically. I mean, one thing I found amazing about this is that it's all based on speculation. and it's based largely on AI speculation. And most AI isn't making any money yet.

It's got to return a huge amount of cash on investment, and we're kind of at the foothills of them experimenting with how they're actually going to get some income. And that's a terrifying place to be. It's a place where Open AI have just started doing advertising, people are having more and more relationships with AI bots and AI personalities. So it could be that you date someone who is ultimately sponsored by BP or Shell or Coca-Cola.

So we are very much headfirst into the corporate hellscape. I mean, yeah, it is interesting watching them turn all of the AI things upside down and shake them to see if any change comes out of their pockets to justify the investment. I mean, the premise is that it will invent its way out of the problems that it has caused by being created, which is to say you've got to back it to be intelligent enough to figure out how to make itself valuable, which, you know, I've got a cousin who still hasn't done that, so I'm not sure. Yeah, I think that's a good, I mean, it's such a bet, isn't it? And it's such a gamble. And I also think this thing of having increasingly complicated systems that we don't have a human in the loop with that we don't understand and very analogous to the financial system, I think, which is a complicated, integrated system. And as the world gets more complex, our political messaging gets more simple. And that creates quite violent convulsion. So it's interesting because I think there's a kind of a silicon, valley resentment of the artistic intellectual, quote unquote, elite looking down on sort of techy,

spectrumy people for not being cool and not being sort of engaged in the arts and this backlash against them and this creation of the technocrat as somebody who is capable of enacting real change in the world, doing, you know, they're the ones who are doing the real stuff in the world, whereas artists and intellectuals and academics are all just sort of floating around in the realm of ideas. I think we have well and truly proven this AI is the realm of ideas applied to reality. Some of its incredible technology, like particularly in the medical and data crunching spheres. But anytime it tries to write a poem, I feel. You feel reassured. As somebody who has just literally demonstrated my ability to write a very bad poem, I still feel like it's better than that.

I really agree with that. I did think that at the start of AI, we felt like everyone, saying, hey, you should do coding and you should get into these tech jobs. One thing AI can do very well is coding and certain tech capacity. What it can't do is the human stuff, the value stuff and the artistic stuff. So maybe there's hope for us yet. Hey, coders, learn hand jobs. Yeah. Hey, coders, learn how to have a sense of on wee. I said, I want to see the first AI Edinburgh fringe show. That's what I want. That little robot guy can come on. Well, come see my show. It's called, oh man. and I teach a sentient AI Roomba how to become a man. Not a real AI Roomba, it's just a pretend one, but still pretty fun.

Oh my goodness, we are up to our penultimate story for the day, but time is an illusion. And also, that's the story. The story is that time is an illusion. They've created a toy universe that shows that time could be just a feature of sort of quantum stuff clacking itself together. Rosie, you've looked at a watch before. Can you tell me how time is an illusion? Yes, I do think time is an illusion because it just depends on what you're looking at,

doesn't it? You're looking at a watch? You're looking at the internet. Some things can be different. It may feel, you might wake up at the wrong time, might feel different. What is it really? Who decided it?

So basically, they've built this toy model of the cosmos and they've seen the ways in which quantum interactions produce time, which is the kind of sentence that makes my brain fold in on itself, and it's also the kind of sentence that led to me starting the gougal as a podcast because I need to figure out how to wrap my brain around this. Robin, what would you look at if you had your own little toy universe? What would I look at? Oh, my God. I suppose I'd look at the kind of the rise and fall of ourselves, civilization, feel a deep sense of enwee,

maybe start writing poetry, gazing out the window, reminiscing about past universes, and then getting tangled up in the joy of them as we slowly drift apart in increasingly isolated spaces. Entropy consumes us all. It was probably how I'd feel about it. I did find this, I was trying to wrap my head around it, and it's incredibly difficult to understand. And as ever, you know, as the public, you know, we don't really understand numbers. We barely understand science, do we? We speaking personally as a layperson rather than.

a scientist. But I love the idea that this was, correct me if I'm wrong, but it's basically saying, like, time can be an emergent property of quantum relationships, rather than something that's just, obviously, it's, it's, it's classical physics. It's not something that's external to gravity and it's relational, but oh my God, Alice, please tell us, what do you think? Is that what is trying to, have I got it sort of right? You have got that sort of right. And from a lay person's perspective, it's like how, you know, if time emerges from the property of quantum things relating to one another, it's sort of like how the will they, won't they, quantumness of Ross and Rachel produced seven seasons of friends. My favorite bit of this story was Giovanni Barontini at the

University of Birmingham in the UK. The whole reason he started thinking about time as an emergent property was he was watching his six-year-old son play and he said, quote, he was building his own small universe and I was thinking that's pretty much what we also do in our labs when we build I'm not going to keep doing yet anyway. Then I was starting to think that this is also quite boring as a universe because there's not much going on there and if nothing happens it's like if time is not passing by. Sick Bernard is six-year-old son's boring universe by the way. But I think that's such a delightful way to get into like quantum mind fuckery. Yeah and I like the idea. I mean this is probably a very kind of a scientific reading of it. But

It had this kind of human resonance, which is when nothing happens, time passes very slowly and stand still. And when there's action, it flies by. That seemed to be sort of a kind of very broad message you could take from it, which I liked and felt very resonant in our own lives. Yeah, that's a beautiful thing. Speaking of beautiful things, it's the end of this podcast. I'm flipping through the ad section at the back. Rosie Holt, have you got anything to plug? Yes, I am working on a show at the moment called Rosie Holt, the Elite. illegal aliens have landed, which I'm taking to Edinburgh, but I'm then going on a UK tour with. So tickets are available now.

Get the tickets, Rosie Holt, the illegal aliens have landed. Where in Edinburgh? What time? 6.30 in the Pleasance Courtyard. Oh, fancy. Robin, what about you? Have you got anything to plug? Oh, actually, are we doing real plugs here, or are we inventing fun? Are we doing real ones? I thought aliens had landed felt so in tune with the show, Rosie,

that maybe you just like wrapped it out. Yes, I've got a relaxation comedy ambient podcast called Rogers Velvet Rendezvous, which is available wherever you get your podcast, which I'd love to direct you to. And I also have a show called Thinking Deeply, which is conversations with academics about attention and AI and some other exciting discussions. about moments that we're in.

So I'd love for anyone listening to also listen to them. Or join me just screaming into the void at Metal Fess sometime. You should get my twin brother on. He's an academic in the AI regulation in Australia. I love that. I'm actually a twin as well, you know. What's your twin? She's a woman called Amy.

Amy. I have twin brothers, but I'm not a twin. I didn't want to be completely left out. We should have a podcast. It's their birthday today. Oh my God. Happy birthday to your twins that aren't your twin. Do they celebrate together?

They didn't celebrate together. They didn't celebrate together. Okay. We have a sister podcast. It's called Realms Unknown. If you like science fiction and fantasy, that is also under the bugle umbrella. I also do a podcast called Tea with Alice,

where I have interesting conversations, difficult conversations with interesting people, and that is ramping itself back up. I also occasionally co-host AI and the creative professional talking about how if you are a creative professional, what is coming down the pipeline at you and how you can manage it or not as you see fit. I am doing The Gargle Live on the 26th of June at the Bill Murray

and there is a bunch of shows of working progresses of my show, oh man, coming up as well as filming in Cardiff at the... Canopy, Canopy, Cardiff at the Canopy on a date. I'm filming A Passion for Passion and Oh Man together. If you want to come and watch me do two shows there and happen to be in Wales. If you can find all of my shows over at Alice Fraser.com and the geeks page is available. That's it for me. This is a bugle podcast and Alice Fraser production.

Your editor is Harry Gordon. Your executive producer is Chris Skinner. I'll talk to you again next week.