The Gargle - New moon | Squid mating | Bedroom monsters

Episode Date: May 2, 2024

Tiff Stevenson and John-Luke Roberts join host Alice Fraser for episode 155 of The Gargle. All of the news, with none of the politics.🌕 New moon🦑 Squid mating🐝 Bedroom monsters🔥 Fire-spitting robo-dog🍔 Reviews🧑🏻‍🌾 D'Ancey LaGuarde!Story 1: https://www.forbes.com/sites/jamiecartereurope/2024/04/27/earths-new-second-moon-is-as-big-as-the-statue-of-liberty-and-we-now-know-its-origin/?sh=5871120c2ecbStory 2: https://www.sciencealert.com/this-squids-birth-month-dictates-his-mating-strategy-for-lifeStory 3: https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-68924955Story 4: https://www.theregister.com/2024/04/25/flamethrower_robot_dog/Written by Alice Fraser, Tiff Stevenson and John-Luke RobertsProduced by Ped Hunter, with executive production from Chris Skinner.HOW TO SUPPORT THE GARGLE- Keep The Gargle alive and well by joining Team Bugle with a one-off payment, or become a Team Bugler or Super Bugler to receive extra bonus treats!https://www.thebuglepodcast.com/donate Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi, it's producer Chris from The Bugle here. Did you know that I have a new series of my podcast, Richie Firth Travel Hacker, out now? It's the show where Richie Firth and I talk about how to make travel better in our very special way. In this series, we discuss line bikes, Teslas, the London overground, and a whole bunch of other random stuff that possibly involves wheels

or tracks or engines of some variety. God, what a hot sell this is. I mean, you must be so excited. Listen now. ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Every sport has their big, juicy controversy. Boxing has the Mike Tyson ear bite.

Cycling has Lance Armstrong. Baseball has its steroid era. Curling has... Broomgate. It's a story of broken relationships, houses divided, corporate rivalry, and a performance-enhancing broom. It was a year I'd like to forget. Broomgate, available now. Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere.

Acast.com. This is a podcast from The Bugle. Sure, there's a lady in every port and a port in every after-dinner toast and a toast in every breakfast menu, but it's quite hard to meet people. And also, there's quite a lot of killing people you just met. And then Admin is a bitch. He quaffs his bourbon and flirts half-heartedly with the bar girl as she tries and fails to poison his next drink. Insurance premiums keep going up, and it's surprising how much his knees hurt after a working lifetime of diving away from explosions. going up and it's surprising how much his knees hurt after a working lifetime of diving away from explosions. Surely there's something more to life, he thinks, flicking a fiver into the tip jar and

a tranquilizer dart into the unmissable bosom of, was it Sally? God knows, a treacherous and bosomy bar staffer a dime a dozen. Surely there's a better life somewhere. Surely he could one day do something more fulfilling, like listening to The Gargle. Welcome to The Gargle, the sunny, glossy magazine to the bugle's audio newspaper for Visual The Gargle, the sunny, glossy magazine to the Bugle's audio newspaper for Visual World. All of the news, none of the politics. I'm your host, Alice Fraser, and your guest editors for this week's edition of the magazine are Tiff Stevenson.

Hello. Hi. Hi. It's such a pleasure to see you. And John Luke Roberts. Hello. Welcome. Hello. Well, I did also, I was sort of waiting for you to say, oh, it's a real pleasure to see you as well, but you didn't.

You just moved straight on. You do look very pleasurable today, so let's objectify John Luke. Oh, good. Finally, the tables have turned. I like it. I always say the tables have turned when I'm at a yum cha restaurant and there's a lazy Susan on. Look, it's a bad joke, but it is mine. But before we sit at the rotating table that is this week's top stories, let's have a look at the front cover of this week's magazine.

at the front cover of this week's magazine. The front cover this week is a picture of the algorithm posing provocatively with I don't know what references are universal anymore. Everyone's following a different choose your own adventure strand of world news. Let's just say it's Seinfeld being loudly offensive about how you can't be offensive anymore. Everyone heard about that, right? I'm not online as much as I used to be. I think I saw that he was trending. i keep seeing people trending and i'm like do i even want to go find out what that is it's not even he did i just it's one of those things where like i hate the

fact that i like so fiercely immediately had an opinion on it rather than just going oh shut up you're no longer in the conversation please stop, you have completed your contribution to the conversation. Yeah, yeah. I like the contribution to the conversation. I do watch it regularly. I go back and watch episodes of science. It's one of my little comfort watches. Oh, it's brilliant.

I sort of feel like as a matter of policy, anyone who makes anything really sort of great and universally acclaimed should immediately shut up forever and I know there are some people who are great and like their politics are like really wonderful and and loving and everything but I think I'm willing to lose them if it also means that we don't ruin other things by virtue of people who wrote them having shitty opinions that's my opinion and I'll stand by it until I do something famous. The satirical cartoon this week is a bunch of students

barricading themselves into a university library, two oblivious professors walking past. One is saying, it's nice to see the young people so focused on studying for their exams. I, for one, enjoy when we have big bellwether cultural debates where you can decide your opinion on someone based on their opinion of someone else's opinion on a thing. You know, oh, the students at Columbia are doing a protest.

How do you feel about Scott Galloway's take on the statement made by police? And how you answer will determine how the course of the rest of this first date goes. Alice, is this political? It does sound political. The satirical cartoon is... Look, hey, satirical cartoon is room for politics in this magazine and also, you'll note, I didn't state an opinion.

I just outlined the structure of the current discourse. I didn't come down on either side. Maybe I'm real pro-police brutality. You don't know. Well, I'm making a mark against it in this podcast. Bring the politics bell, Ped. I must say, Alice, maybe I'm pro-police brutality.

It's one of the strangest openings you've done for the Gargoyles so far. New moon has dropped news now, and this is the news of Earth's new second moon. It's a mini moon. It's the size of the Statue of Liberty. John Luke, you've been mooning about. Can you unpack this story for us? I can unpack this story, but I wonder whether I have. It turns out I have like this story is maybe quite angry. So I'm not sure I should be the one to introduce this story, because the more I read about this story, the less I like this story's made me quite angry so i'm not sure i should be the one to introduce this story

because the more i read about this story the less i like this story and they're more and more this new moon doesn't sound like a moon at all and i've been tricked into reading a story about us having a new moon we don't have a new moon we have a quasi satellite a near-earth asteroid so um that's my take on it i haven't heard anyone so angry about New Moon since the sequel to Twilight dropped. I've heard people angry about New Moons, but I used to be married to an astrologer, so that's different.

I've heard people angry about New Moons, but I used to be married to a werewolf. Tick, what's yours? What's my take? It sounds like you don't like that this uh asteroid has like put on a bit of makeup and upgraded itself to a moon you know like you feel like you've been tricked yeah i do and i i realize how you're framing this but honestly like i think if i were to put some makeup on and say i'm a moon now i would want people to maybe pay money for tickets so you're

still john luke roberts i'm still yeah they say come so you're still John Luke Roberts I'm still yeah they say come on you're not a moon you need to stay in touch with reality um I I'm excited I'm excited to call it a moon um well I say that I mean it's the size of the Statue of Liberty so yeah we proportionally how big does it need to be to be a moon or does it just need to orbit these are all questions i'm going with moon 2 lost in new york that's the official title um but it's um the the asteroid is called camo olawele and it appears to have come from the moon itself so the moon is given birth so why are we not talking about that basically the moon has given birth we want to know she got a push present was there a gender reveal party for the moon which set off a chain reaction of catastrophic events and left at least one of the other planets in tears that's i just i

want to know about the moon giving birth i feel like not enough has been you know and not enough of the coverage has been discussing that the moon has had a baby yeah i feel i feel uh we are all agreed that the headline is misleading on this one i would have gone with a bit fell off the moon um i would have gone with baby moon well but even a bit falling off the moon that's not that exciting over the course of a month the moon loses most of its mass we see it you look up and you see little bits of the moon they're falling off every night till you just got a little sliver of it left but it all goes then a new moon comes along this is why crash diets never work you always put the weight back on that's it although there is obviously the downside um which i have discussed on the uh on the uh

there's another podcast that's linked to this one that does cover politics um but i have spoken on that before about the idea of two moons i'm not keen because two periods a month i'm quite happy to stick with the 28 day once every 28 days is enough i don't want more periods so let's just say less moons but you know maybe we could just send the moon a card or something and go hope the birthing process wasn't too rough and we're thinking of you moon actually generally i think sending cards of well wishes to the moon it's quite a nice idea we should just all the things it gives us tides metaphors a lot of metaphors metaphors yeah it gives us metaphors something to look at sometimes songs songs yeah yeah discography for the moon is uh is is high

the moon cup lest we forget i don't think the moon designed the moon. Oh, it did. It did. In the same way that in America it's a diva cup and a diva designed the diva cup. Celine Dion actually invented the, you know, my heart will go on diva cup. The moon was integral in the design of the moon cup and I will not have this slander on this podcast. Do not try and take away the achievements of the moon. I'm sorry.

Interesting fact, all moons are girls, all suns are boys. Just an astronomy fact for you. What are... I know science. Yeah, look at you trying to take the achievement of a woman away. This is like Rosalind Franklin all over again. A near-Earth asteroid is a non-binary celestial object. Okay, fine.

Move on to the ad section. Okay. Your ad section now, because you can't be what you can't buy. And this episode of the podcast is brought to you by feet. Feet, the hands of your legs. Feet, the thing between you and the world. Feet, nobody thinks about them the right amount. And sometimes it's hard to be a woman, but that's why we have half a glass of water.

It won't solve patriarchy, but it will sometimes soothe a dry cough. Half a glass of water for when you can't have it all, but you can have half a glass of water. Your feet advert really had a poetic ending. Like it left you just in that moment of I'm still thinking about that. About what the right amount to think about feet is.

And a new novel is out by self-published romance maven and online bestseller Dancy the Guard. Fertilised in the billionaire's garden is second in the sexed up Dirty Fingers Clean Hearts series of horticultural romances with a supernatural twist. Champion competitive show gardener, Heliot Frang, swore she'd never get back in the hothouse after one tragic night, but then the guy she hates but can't stop thinking about accepts a gardening duel

in her honour. Suddenly, Heliot has to train Foxton Edge, the billionaire boy next door with a killer smile and abs for miles who broke her heart so many years ago. Fox is keeping a dark secret from Elliot, the story that his great uncle ran off with her grandmother who was the gardener on his family estate and ever since then the grounds have been cursed

to alkaline soil. But winning best garden in Elliot's name is his shot at breaking the curse will gardening bring these two ex-lovers slash rivals together to turn them into ex-rivals slash lovers and break the family curse who will take whom to bed flower bed that is find out infertilized in the billionaire's garden available now at the back of all tool sheds. Can I say, also, Who'll Take Whom to Bed is quite a good title for another Dancy Lagarde.

That's a mystery thriller sex fest. Yeah. Set in an abandoned country house. Look, I could do this all day. It would star a grammarian. Yeah, that's it it has to be a grammarian

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a percentage I hope I get I hope I get I hope I get I hope I get I hope I get I hope I get I hope I get I hope I get I hope I get I hope I get I hope I get I hope I get I hope I get I hope I get I hope I get I hope I get a percentage I hope I get a percentage, I get a percentage, I get a percentage, I get a percentage, I get a percentage, I get a percentage, I get a percentage, I get a percentage, I get a percentage, I get a percentage, I get a percentage, I get a percentage, I A-Cast powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Every sport has their big, juicy controversy. Boxing has the Mike Tyson ear bite. Cycling has Lance Armstrong. Baseball has its steroid era.

Curling has... Broomgate. It's a story of broken relationships, houses divided, corporate rivalry, and a performance-enhancing broom. It was a year I'd like to forget. Broomgate.

Available now. Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts. Everywhere. ACAST.com Astrology squid news now. And this is the news that a particular breed of squid, their sex life is determined by their birth month. Tiff Stevenson, as a squid haraspex, can you unpack this story for us?

The squids are out here doing horoscopes. Apparently, according to this article, some squid are destined to become sneaky or aggressive mating partners depending on when they hatched. So or they're more reactive. So, you know, what we know is the squids are getting their fill of Mystic Meg every Tuesday. You know, squids are they're going to be aware of when the second moon's in Uranus and Mercury's in retrograde. aware of when the second moon's in uranus and mercury's in retrograde apparently if the squids hatch early in the season between april and mid-july um so they'd grown larger by by mating time they become consorts uh which is the squid that fights off rivals to impregnate a female

and then guard her when she lays her eggs so those are the ones in april that start early april this is big tauraurus energy here. So I just want to point this out. So this is right in Taurus season. Stubborn, protective. Squids that hatch later between June and mid-August were typically smaller and became sneakers. Covertly depositing their sperm on the outside of a female near where she lays her eggs in the hope of fertilizing them. So just quickly dipping in

there that's leo vibes yeah that's leo vibes gotta rely on big personality and sass those are those guys this packet of sperm here in case you're interested for later in the evening i've dropped off a little a little packet of um yeah so it's it's it's linked to when they're born. And the hatching date apparently determines the whole life trajectory in this species, which is. And then then it linked to another study, which I knew nothing about. And you guys might know about this, saying that that's why that there's data to suggest that if you're born early in the year you're more likely to become a professional athlete due to the amount of time you have to prepare and get training um to that advantage in terms of when you're born so i didn't know that yeah you're more like if you if you're born early in the year in in school selections you start to think you're a better athlete because you're bigger than the other kids um by the time selection

rolls around uh but i i just like this in in terms of I've never heard that excuse used. I'm sorry, babe, I'm a sneaker squid. I just want somebody being marched out of an R-rated cinema with their hands behind their backs going, I'm a sneaker squid, I can't help it. I needed to deposit a packet of sperm near a female. Lady Gaga wrote the anthem for sneaker squids, Born This Way.

You know, you just can't help it. There was someone who was like throwing jizz at people around London. This was a couple of years ago. It was a news story that someone was literally... I mean, if someone can do it, someone is going to do it, I guess. But it was...

He's called Spider-Man, Tiff, and he's a scientist. Straight from the wrist. He shoots from the wrist. I've got to say, it actually gives me some comfort that that's rare enough to be a news story. That's not the London I think I live in. It's not a non-news story. It's just a weather update.

With your umbrella. What's the sperm count for today? Oh, it's high. It's high. Yeah, what can you take for that? Is antihistamine any good? I've just got to put myself in a giant condom. How does that work?

And that brings us to our reviews section. As as you know each week we ask our guest editors to review something out of five stars tiff what have you brought in for us this week okay well i've brought in selling sunset now if you don't know this tv show um uh the plot is it's two tiny bald men surrounded by giant women and they're building an atom bomb in somewhere called the Oppenheimer group. And the characters are Heather, Chris, shall marry Davina, Christine,

Amanda, Heather, Chris, shall marry. There's also Maya. Who's my favorite. I would like to go to Miami to say some luxury apartments. Her main storyline is pregnant every season.

And she's actually recently left the show. But what it is, is it's some expensive properties. We never see the buyers. It's mainly a group of women being absolutely toxic to each other, but in Chanel. So it's aspirational. There's actually an episode called Do You Think We're Friends?

Which pretty much sums up the entire theme of the show. No notes, 10 out of 10. I know it's five an episode called, do you think we're friends? Which pretty much sums up the entire theme of the show. No notes, 10 out of 10. I know it's five out of five, but I'm giving it 10 out of 10. So wait, is that episode just, they go around to each other saying, do you think we're friends? It's pretty much versions of that conversation.

That's the whole series. The whole thing is basically like, I don't know why you think we're friends because i'm definitely not your friend because you said this about davina and christina said this about heather um so that's it it's basically all of their like staged conversations and then occasionally it'll cut to uh an insanely priced property that one of them was up for like 75 million and it didn't get sold um and so that occasionally there's like a bit of real estate thrown in but it is mainly just a stage conversation i'm obsessed i love it uh i don't know why i don't know why i think it makes me feel better

about my lack of property uh in london like i can't i can't get a property in London. So I may as well just watch these like 10 and $15 million properties. Um, you know, for it, we wouldn't work here as a show. I've, I've, I've worked out that much.

We can't have this because it would just be a dude from Foxton's, the two type River Island suit showing me around a shit hole in Archway. And, um, and explaining to me that black mold is actually a design feature uh so I don't I don't think it would have quite the same appeal and then midway through midway through asking you do you think we're friends how many how many other five stars oh I said 10 out of 10 I know it's out of five but I'm giving it 10 out of 10 that's how that's how strongly I feel

about it you do know how fractions work don't you because that's the same that's the same but i just like the sound of 10 yeah it's a set it's a sexier sound no one's bothered about five well apart from during august when we all obsess uh but uh yeah i'm gonna i'm gonna say 10 out of 10 and john luke what have you brought in for us today? I'd like to review hamburgers or specifically hamburger innovation. I feel like that area has gone stagnant. There has been lots of exploration of the vertical axis and actually the upwards axis. You've got toppings, hamburgers, you've got tower burgers, but nobody has really explored the sideways

area of the hamburger. Nobody has explored underneath the hamburger. Nobody's putting ketchup on the bottom, nobody's putting a sausage hanging out of the hamburger. Or I don't know, you can sometimes get sticks in the top with little olives or whatever on them, like Club Summit, you can have them coming out the side

so then there's a challenge in navigating the cocktail sticks to eat the hamburger and you could why not put a pizza in a hamburger so you have the hamburger in the middle and then the pizza hanging out so you get to work your way through it what i'm saying is the hamburger used to be very exciting space we need some more hamburger disruptors so this is my challenge to to the world out there to come on get off your get off your chairs get out there and make hamburgers special again so i'd like to give hamburger innovation to as a sort of um boot up the arse can i ask a question and i'm sure this might be there's something that you guys have the answer to.

But why do we call them hamburgers instead of beef burgers? Is it an American thing? Because there's no ham in the hamburger, is there? It's a beef burger. It's meant to have been from Hamburg, is it not? No, no. Like Kennedy? No, no.

There was this... He went around saying it was different kinds of meat, wasn't it? No, that's a common misconception. There was a criminal, a career criminal in America who was stealing these things, and his name was Hamburglar. So they just reverse-engineered it from that and said, well, he's not stealing ham, is he? He's stealing ham.

I guess we can call them hamburgers. That's where it came from. Bees news now. And this is the news that a little girl believed there was a monster in her bedroom and her parents told her that she was being an idiot and to shut the f*** up. And it turns out it was 60,000 bees. So now her parents have to shut the f*** up and it turns out it was 60,000 bees so now her parents have to shut the f*** up it's the law uh don luke you worship a queen can you unpack this story for us uh um jinx monsoon she's absolutely brilliant um so little girl i feel so sorry you're basically in north carolina a little girl kept saying oh i've got there's monsters in

my cupboard there's monsters in the walls and monsters in the walls that's quite that's creepier than in the cupboards right um and the parents like oh no there's not she's just watched Monsters Inc there's monsters in that she's got confused just like after you watch Finding Nemo you then say oh there's fish in my cupboard but they they said no look here have this little spray so you can spray the monsters away if they come out you know night. And then it turned out, yeah, there was a hive of 60,000 bees in that wall. 60,000 bees, which she was hearing every night. And then they got people in. They're not insured for it because pesticide is preventable.

It's a very sad story. It's just quite funny. The worst thing about it, I think, is I think the right parenting technique is probably to say oh don't look it's scary that they're not really monster is to not take it seriously and then even though you've done it right you've ended up traumatizing your child because there were things yeah this kid's like you're gaslighting me how could you ever trust a grown-up again? I'm never going to fall for this. Any time that any of my children decide that there are monsters in the wall,

I'm immediately going to take a crowbar to the walls. No, Alice, this is just a different trauma. I couldn't say a single thing to Mummy or she'd smash the wall with a crowbar. They removed 65,000 bees and it says because she was complaining like that the insurance wasn't going to cover it but they said they removed 65 000 bees and 100 pounds or 45 kilos of honeycomb now complaining about costing money 45k of honeycomb that is a few grand down the farmer's market easy just pop down there on a

sunday and sell that i reckon i love bees because i like the fact that bees sting you then they die and it's so dramatic and shakespearean and wasps are just wasps are just like real housewives you know look at me i'm skinnier and i'm gonna keep zapping you and being loud for f***ing ever or one year however long wasps live. I don't know how long they live. I've not made it my business to find out about the wasps. I just don't like them. Yeah, bees seem to have a real-life representation of guilt built in.

They do you harm and then immediately, oh no, what have I... All bees are Buddhists, I think. And that brings us to our final story of today. This is the news that if you've ever been creeped out by those Boston Dynamics-style robo-dogs that sort of leap about and are meant to be charming but inevitably bring to mind the fact that they are definitely 100% going to be used in combat,

if that's ever worried you, good news, now they're on fire. This is the future of fire delivery, according to Ohio pyromaniac company Throw Flame. Fire delivery. Like we needed a future for fire delivery who was looking for who was thinking oh you know what it'd be nice to have delivered fire have you gone on the apps how far uber eats with my fire well they can only do it for quite a short distance otherwise the whole car goes up i mean i just love the marketing pitch on this. This quadruped is coupled with the ARC flamethrower to deliver on-demand fire anywhere.

They've called it the Thurminator. The Thurminator. So you've got to give them points for the pun. But also, it's something straight out of Thunderdome. Like, it's so mad. When is this, when is the Terminator going to get it's own movie like Furiosa has it's terrifying

because every time Boston I've started associating the word Boston with just like bad things so any of us who like Boston Wahlbergs and flamethrower dogs is that it the Frasier reboot yeah it's just terrifying because just hearing the words

boston diamond it should be exciting dynamic it's got the words there in the title but i know it's going to be some absolute nightmare fuel of a robot or an animal like like it is like an episode of black mirror you know i think they had those dogs in an episode of black mirror so it's just like how soon before they become you know self-aware that they go full skynet which i have worried about in the past in my own life like i once had a a shit that was so big i was worried it was going to immediately become self-aware i call that a skynet poo that's what i call that did another poo come back from the future to warn you? To warn me? Yes, it wouldn't flush.

It kept coming back up. So I feel like, you know, the storyline's playing out. And I'm afraid. I think the scariest thing about this is how off the proportions are to me. Because it can throw flames 30 feet, so 9.1 metres of flame-throwing range, but it lasts only an hour. And I feel like the proportions are off.

It should last for nine hours and be able to throw flames one metre or something. It just doesn't feel correct that it should be able to throw nine metres of flames and yet after 60 minutes it gives up on life, you know? It does work on Wi-Fi and Bluetooth so that's that's good you don't need to have a wired connection it's compatible with you compare it with your car stereo i just don't like it's it's available to the general public for nine thousand dollars which is expensive but too cheap yeah it's not enough prohibitively expensive enough is it you know the new is it

apple glasses you know the the vr things oh yeah they're like three grand i'm like it's not it's not it's not prohibitively expensive enough it should be like 50 grand for one of these half a million i don't know although actually also now now now we talk it through i'm not sure that just having a lot of money should be what allows you to own this thing yeah that's when i started putting it up and then went oh yeah this is no you've got to there's got to be laws you've got to have federal regulations um all flamethrowers are federally unregulated uh in the u.s so you must it sounds deliberate right somebody made that choice it wasn't just an oversight they went now i'll be fine let them have them let them have flamethrowers i feel like flamethrowers are a thing that you ought to have to have a license because it's not like a leaf blower. You know, it's not...

No. Well, they're the two sides. It's like the sharks and the jets in West Side Story. You know, the... The leaf blowers and the flamethrowers. Yeah, versus the flamethrower. Or actually, water guns. Big fire hoses.

This could be the battle that no one saw coming and you've got to pick a side, Alice. Fire or air. The worry with the uh the leaf blowers you end up just sort of fanning the flames yeah make it make it worse but it does look prettier it does it does look it's lovely and it's nice to think like it appeals to the like i've got the yeah primordial like i make flame um the company's called throw flame which i think for a company which so such little like uh in a vet like just any originality or thought going into that i don't think they should be

allowed to make these things it's like having a company called mower lawn or or paste tooth you know try a bit harder. Pack back. Ointment hemorrhoids. And that brings us to the end of the show. I'm flipping through the ads at the back of the magazine. Tiff, have you got anything to plug? I'm going to plug my Edinburgh Fringe show because I've done this radical thing this year that I'm not... I don't radical thing this year that I'm not

I don't have a promoter, I'm not paying for PR, I want to do this like really edgy, I want to make money so I'm at the Monkey Barrel at midday and I'm very excited and the show's called Husband Material because I think I'm husband material but I also have husband material

I also want to wear my husband's skin like a suit so that have husband material I also want to wear my husband's skin like a suit uh so that's husband material as well so if that interests you come see the show um yeah midday at monkey barrel um and I'm very excited and John Luke have you got anything to plug yes uh husband material at 12 every day Tiff's paying me a little bit of money to do some PR. She's got this whole... We've come up with this PR concept where we pretend we're not doing PR,

but it's really smart. No, my podcast Soundteap is going out all the time, which I... Please listen to Soundteap. It's a podcast of too many podcasts. It's loads of different people improvising made-up podcasts podcasts and then i build the kind of world around it we've just done an episode all about shrek fishing which is when men trick women into dating them by pretending to be playing shrek in the touring production of the musical shrek but also i have a i'm sending out a newsletter

every week with like a new bit of poetry or short story or something like that on it. And I would love if people would sign up. That's free. It's on Substack. It's called Wordings. And my name is John Luke Roberts. So you can find it that way. Wonderful.

And you can find me online at patreon.com slash Alice Fraser. alicefraser if you go there now you could sign up to my week-long writer's retreat in switzerland which will be happening uh in august september of this year it will be a week in switzerland if we get enough people who want to go along so go in and fill the fill in the google form which is in our most recent thing at patreon.com slash alicefraser if you don't want to come to switzerland you can just come to the zoom meetings there every week and uh we're doing we're doing that at the moment you can sign up for a dollar a month but at the end of this month there will be no more dollar a month subscription and if you want to support me financially you have to pay more money to do it so uh if you want to join up and support me for a dollar a month you've got a month to do that at

patreon.com slash alisfraser. And this is a Bugle podcast and Alice Fraser production. Your editor is Ped Hunter. Your executive producer is Chris Skinner. And I'll talk to you again next week. You can listen to other programs from the Bugle, including The Bugle, Catharsis,

Tiny Revolutions, Top Stories, and The Gargle, wherever you find your podcasts.