The Gargle - Risky behaviour | Space debris | Martin Shkreli

Episode Date: July 4, 2024

Sami Shah and Nic Sampson join host Alice Fraser for episode 164 of The Gargle. All of the news, with none of the politics.💊 Risky behaviour☄️ Space debris🖕 Elon Musk🤑 Martin Shkreli🏎 ReviewsWatch on YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/@BuglePodcastStory 1: https://www.sciencealert.com/the-worlds-most-common-pain-relief-drug-may-induce-risky-behaviorStory 2: https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/article/2024/jun/22/florida-family-sues-nasa-space-debrisStory 3: https://www.cnbc.com/2024/06/19/elon-musk-softens-go-f-yourself-comment-to-woo-advertisers.htmlStory 4: https://www.fastcompany.com/91144246/pharma-bro-martin-shkreli-claims-he-founded-djt-cryptocurrencyWritten by Alice Fraser, Sami Shah and Nic SampsonProduced by Ped Hunter, with executive production from Chris SkinnerHOW TO SUPPORT THE GARGLE- Keep The Gargle alive and well by joining Team Bugle with a one-off payment, or become a Team Bugler or Super Bugler to receive extra bonus treats!https://www.thebuglepodcast.com/donate Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This is a podcast from The Bugle. monster I am today. And the National Guard. If you should judge a person not by their friends but by their enemies, I couldn't have chosen a better organisation to be judged by. And of course I have to thank the government scientists that experimented on me. If it wasn't for all of you I'd still be an accountant and I could never forget Mr Whiskers. There is nobody more snuggly wuggly. But most of all I'd like to thank the Gargle. This is the Gargle, the Sonic Glossy magazine into the Bugles audio newspaper for Visual World, all of the news, none of the politics. I'm your host, Alice Fraser, and your guest editors for this week's edition of the magazine, Sammy Shaw, welcome.

It's alive! Alive, I tell you! And Nick Sampson, welcome. I'm also a monster. Well before we rise up and take the pitchforks to this week's top story, let's have a look at the front cover of the magazine. The front cover this week is Nicola Coughlin of Bridgerton season 3, posing provocatively with people's opinions on her right to be a romance novel heroine, while fat.

The satirical cartoon this week is The Back of the Tory Party, framed by a round window that on closer inspection is made up of a f*** ton of middle fingers. Or if you prefer a non-political satirical cartoon, it's a middle-aged ghost consulting a plastic surgeon and the plastic surgeon says, I would recommend going back in time and murdering you when you were 10 years younger. This week's top story news, this is the news that Panadol may be turning you into a Mad Max future Thunderdome scenario. Sami Shah, you've got a headache right now, can you unpack this story for us? Indeed I I do. And this has been an explanation that I've been waiting for for so long,

for so many of my life choices are finally now explained. So basically, it turns out that the big opioid epidemic that the world has been struggling with, the US particularly, but the rest of the world increasingly so, isn't fentanyl. It's just paracetamol or panadol. Sorry. There's a chemical in that called acetaminophen, which is probably not how it's pronounced, but I'll go with that. And it's also known as paracetamol and, you know, it's sold in Tylenol and panadol and stuff. And the scientists have now found that it somehow decreases negative emotion when people consider

risky activity they don't feel as scared and therefore if you're taking Panadol you're more likely to indulge in risky behavior which is scary because nearly 25% of the population of the US takes Panadol regularly every week in some form of another thus explaining the rise in popular active Donald Trump and the Republican Party we've been considering all kinds of things like, oh, it's the far right and it's Nazism and it's fascism. No, it's just people on Panadol who are taking the risk. Ding ding ding, politics bell.

Sorry about that, but it's just- I'm not joking, without the politics. All right, fine. Fair enough, fair enough. Look, it completely explains so many of my life choices. I've been taking Panadol for years because I get migraines and every time I get a migraine, I take Panadol and then that's why I suddenly have a one-year-old at the age of 45 and I'm, you know, thinking about... These are risk-taking choices that you make. I have regrettable

tattoos on both shoulders because of Panadol. Well, apparently it doesn't just reduce your appetite for risk, it reduces your receptivity to hurt feelings, it reduces your empathy and it can even blunt your cognitive functions. Nick, would you give someone a couple of Panadols before a breakup or? Absolutely. I was just thinking, gosh those poor boys in in Jackass just trapped in a perpetual cycle of risky behavior, injury, Panadol, back into a portal who flying into the sky, you know, like hammering themselves in the genitals. God, these poor guys. This reminds me, I mean, this is a terrible story and I never talk about my private life, but this is too on point because I once had a guy back in the early days, we were going

out and he found out that I was a virgin and he said, well, you'll have to take a couple of Panadol and lie back. And turns out that had I taken the Panadol, I might have slept with him, but I didn't. Was he by any chance neuroscientist Baldwin Way? Because that's the guy who ran this experiment and he might be in the know. Yeah, look, that was a big move. I do like the test, the way they did the test though, because basically to see how risk-taking people's behavior can be, participants had to pump up an uninflated balloon on a computer screen with each single pump earning imaginary money. And the people taking part will obviously just get pumping until the balloon exploded.

And I like how for this neuroscientist, this is risk- taking behavior, is pumping up an imaginary balloon on a computer screen. For the rest of us, it's something like, you know what? I'm going bungee jumping or, yeah, let's all go and get crazy tattoos in Thailand. And who cares if that might give you chlamydia? But for the scientists, it's like, well, you press the button on the screen and a balloon inflates and you might get a dollar. And that and that. And if you say, don't stop pumping pumping then you're crazy, clearly a maniac, you're a wild thing that's what you are.

Nick is there any precipice that you've come right up to that maybe a Panadol would have tipped you over the edge? Well I moved to the UK maybe that you know just after Brexit you know when everything was starting to go downhill maybe You you are high on Panadol. That's right. You're on the Panadol as they say it reminds me of the There's like that like is it I think it's a grub Like a caterpillar and it gets inside a snail and it goes into its brain maybe it's an ant a worm or something and it makes the It makes it go up and get eaten by a bird so that it can be pooped out maybe that's maybe that's what what's going

on with Panadol. Panadol is the toxoplasmosis of the human kingdom. Yeah that's it. Your ad section now because you can't be what you can't buy. What walks on four legs in the morning two legs at noon and three legs in the evening? You with Carl's detachable legs. Finally, you can have as many legs as you want whenever you want. Carl's detachable legs come in a sack. And this episode of podcast is brought to you by RAINN. RAINN, the sweat of the sky. You might not know much, but you have a lot of opinions and keeping your thought to yourself would be greedy.

Finally, there's a way for you to share them, whether people want you to or not, with language. Language, the loudest telepathy. As I sit here with an X-Men background, like Charles Xavier. That's all he was. He was good at language, it turns out. And in Australia, if you're being a bit of a sook, they say drink a cup of cement and harden the f*** up. What's going to help you swallow a cup of cement?

Half a glass of water. This episode of the podcast brought to you by Half a Glass of Water. Harden the f*** up. And now it's time for our NASA news. Space news now. Space shame news perhaps. This is the news that a US family who had some space debris go through their home is now suing NASA for $80,000 in damage, which to me seems like not enough damage for something falling out of space and through your house.

I'm pretty sure the dinosaurs would have sued for more. Nick, you've had something fall on you from outer space. Can you unpack this story for us? Absolutely. It was my wife. She's an angel. She fell from heaven. So what happened in Naples, Florida? A home was struck by debris that fell from Earth from outer space, punched a hole in the roof, and the family are pursuing NASA for $80,000 in damages. It was a metallic cylinder slab from a cargo pallet, which is, you know, that's one of the most important things. We've got to get more of those up in space. We need cargo pallets up in space just to make sure that they're doing their job up

there. But no one was injured. It just went through a hole in the roof and the floor. Although one of the family members says it almost had her son, who was two rooms over. Okay, well that's not that close. Okay, no, no, no, no. See, now I think you saying it's two rooms over,

that didn't nearly hit her son. But if you consider it came from space, it nearly hit her son. Oh sure, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, if it's coming from space, it nearly hit Canada. That, like that is... Yeah. Also, wasn't this the plot to Donnie Darko? Is there now an alternate reality timeline where the son is moodily walking through a

small Midwestern American town with a hoodie on and a rabbit headed guy is following him? Because that's a cool premise versus this family being so religious about it. That son should have been hit by the pellet, it turns out. I would be gutted if I was killed by just a cylindrical slab. Like, it's so boring. Hang on, no, excuse me. If you're on your tombstone, it said... I think the technical term is cord.

I think you would be cord rather than gutted. Yes, exactly. But on your tombstone, if it said crush to death by a cylindrical pellet from the International Space Station, that is not better than what is more likely, you know, went to sleep holding the hands of his loved ones or some shit like that. Come on. I would want the core to be placed on my tombstone just like for everyone to see. I'm wondering if this is why, maybe this was the last straw that broke the camels back as to why they're now getting Elon Musk to disassemble the International Space Station.

They've commissioned SpaceX to push the International Space Station into the ocean. Really? Yeah. Oh my god. That's a true story. Are they just going to shoot space trucks at Elon Musk? What are the Tesla trucks at it? Because that's all they're really good for.

They're not actually good on Earth. Yeah. And they're like, well, who's really good at tanking things? Who's good at just taking things that work and destroying them? And that brings us to our reviews section. As you know, each week we ask our guest editors to bring in something to review out of five stars. Sammy, what have you brought in for us this week? I brought in toddlers. I don't know if you're familiar with them, but basically, the way

it works is when humans are born, for the year or so they're largely just babies and babies are adorable little things that poo a lot and spew a lot and cry a lot everything but their cuteness protects them. And then they become toddlers where basically they are drunk alcoholics in terms of body shape with giant potbellies. They roam around the house just banging into things, slapping things out of your hand, demanding anything the dick cannot have, and then throwing a absolute tantrum

that they can't get it. And somehow the cuteness still continues to protect them. It is an amazing achievement. If you want training for the military, for example, let's say you plan on joining the military, which means you gotta wake up at five o'clock in the morning, be yelled at by someone who doesn't care about your feelings and then go to sleep at times that you know when the war is in a pause, you get to take a nap. If you want that kind of training, get yourself a toddler. I cannot recommend

them enough. Five out of five stars. Five out of five stars. You know, Sammy, I feel like the US military missed a trick. Remember that period after 9-11 where they were like experimenting with the boundaries of how much torture they were allowed to give and do at any given time? Yes. Did they try having a toddler do the waterboarding? I'm just saying. Look, I'm just saying. Terrorists would forgive a lot. Given some of the things they did, they probably did. I don't think the US military is the kind to not try out anything. I'm sure at least someone in Abu Ghraib prison was just locked in a cell with a toddler for 24 hours and broke and that's how they found Bin Laden. Like that's really what they said.

Look, I'm saying there's a lot of one-on-one war crime going on in the parenting community. If sleep deprivation and baby shark on a loop doesn't count, I don't know what does. I've been using this app called Borrow My Doggy because we can't have a dog in our flat, but we can have one for a few hours. So we borrow someone else's dog. It's basically free dog care for the dog owner and you get a dog for like 12 hours. So maybe there should be a toddler version where you can just, you know, someone's getting ready to go on a tour of Afghanistan or whatever, and you just send the toddler around just to get in shape.

I see no downsides to this plan. Absolutely. I don't see how this app could fail, cause any legal issues at all. I'm down with this. Nick, what have you brought into review for us this week? Okay. So my review is I'm reviewing going go-karting on a Stag Doo. I don't think it's, I think it's bad. I think everyone is too excited to drive and they're very unsafe in their driving. And I, you know, you get bumped a lot, which I think is unkind and unfair.

And once you start driving, there's no option to stop. You just have to keep going round and round for about half an hour. And I think there should be an option where you can just sort of pull over to the side if you're not enjoying it and go on your phone for a bit. And I give it two stars. Question, are you drunk or do you have to be drunk before the go-karting or is the go-karting the first event of the evening? The one, the specific experience I had, it was, I think it was the first thing we did

but we managed to get drunk. Don't worry. Don't worry, we got drunk. And everyone there is like, you know, you're not allowed to drink. And everyone just is nodding, like while drinking. Like it's this whole farce. But yeah, it's a terrible time. So I've always been sort of confused by the by the Hens Night Buck Night theory, which is the theory is that it's saying goodbye to your old life. But the performance of it, I mean, unless your old life really involved a lot of go-karting and like wearing a dress while being spat on by your mates, slash, you know, entering

Court of Justice while dressed as a pig on a dare. I don't know how you're saying goodbye to the life you had before. It's like, if anything, you know, getting married, starting a family, you're going to be doing more go-karting, you know, there's going to be more go-karting in your future than there currently is. I just feel like what you should do is be preparing your mate for marriage. So what I think you should do is you sit your mate down and all of the best friends of the

mate sit in a circle and tell him all of his red flags and the behaviors that they think are going to trip him up in the ongoing relationship. I just think you have real trouble expressing your emotions. You can do it while he's tied to a like a pole or something, you know. Oh yeah, he has to be dressed as a pig. A pig in a dress. Dress him up as a pig in a dress. Let's not like f*** with the tradition and then tell him what's wrong with him. And he's crying just saying I want to change I need to be a better man. Elon Musk news now and this is the news that Elon Musk has proven once and for all that

the hypothesis that you can at some point achieve you money is false. You cannot ever achieve you money because Elon Musk famously said of his ex advertisers that they can go themselves because he didn't need their money and he is now quote-unquote softening his comment and inviting advertisers back onto the platform X. Sammy, you've grovelingly backed down from statements before. Can you unpack this story for us? Yeah, absolutely. With all his thing, I take umbrage with your description. I personally believe that Elon Musk is clearly a free speech warrior who stands for what he believes in

and believes what he stands in because why why else would he go to Cannes Lion Advertising Festival? It's an advertising festival in Cannes where the greatest minds of advertising, which is to mean the most mediocre minds in any other industry, all get together to talk about how great their ads are, which is to say that no such thing is a good ad, so they're all shitheads. And then Elon Musk went there to beg them for money by saying, remember when I told you to go f*** yourself? I didn't mean it literally. I just meant it like the world should go f*** itself or go f*** itself is a kind and nice thing to do if that is what you're inclined to do but not you specifically you're beautiful which is basically his exact words were it wasn't to advertise us as a whole it was with respect to

freedom of speech because he's such a free speech warrior when you don't take into account the amount of times he's banned people on twitter or x for criticizing him, making fun of him. Other than that, he's such a free speech warrior and he's absolutely a noble man with noble, noble values. Look, Sammy, I think what this discourse is missing is the acknowledgement that not everyone who is a warrior is good at warrioring. That is true. You can't all be f***ing Achilles or Ajax or bloody Hector.

There's got to be just some Jeff in the back who's just, he's holding a spear. Sure. And he's sort of vaguely in favor of the Trojan war, but he's not what you'd call like an in the, in the horse kind of guy. You know, he's not, he's not, he's not front ranks. He's like, once they've opened the doors, he'll come in, you know, like send it, send the, send the big warriors in the horse. Was Achilles that good though? Here's the thing, Achilles always gets a lot of respect for his warrioring, but he was

invulnerable in 99% of his body, which is why he was so good at fighting because nothing could hurt him. And then the 1% of his body that was vulnerable, he ended up getting that f**ked up. So he actually wasn't that good a fighter. If he was, if it wasn't for his his heel, all of Achilles was weak. I'm just saying this is a thing I've had in my head for a long time. I'm just saying, Sami Shah, that this is very explicitly not a news podcast. But just because it's not a news podcast doesn't mean it's an ancient Greece podcast. Because it's not a news podcast doesn't mean it's an ancient Greece podcast. Well, which one is goddammit?

They won't have me on rest is history. But anyway, so yes, these are my gripes. Look, here's the thing, I've worked in advertising, I can tell you from personal experience, everyone who does work in advertising is a pathetic, soul sucking, absolute leech of a human being. And therefore Elon Musk going there to tell them that actually he loves them is very fitting for where we are as a society and the world right now. Nick? Yeah I mean I agree with all that. I mean you know I think advertising people are cool, actually.

I think we need products and we need to be told which products are cool. And I think we need more ads in our life, if anything. Would somebody who was not cool be wearing such bold frames on their reading glasses? I ask you. There's that old advertising marketing kind of lesson, which is you go to a small town in the middle of nowhere and there's only two barbers in that town. One barber has a terrible haircut and the other barber has an amazing haircut. Which barber do you go to?

And the answer to that is always, well, you go to the barber with the bad haircut because he's the one who cut the barber with the good haircut's hair. But the real answer, it turns out, is you don't go to either of them. Instead, you call them to you and you tell them to go f*** themselves

but then tell them that actually what you meant was free speech is important and society should go f*** itself now can both of you cut my hair? Yeah I don't want to have to solve a riddle to get my hair cut. Yeah. I do. And that brings us to our top tier villain news now for those of you who are watching on the YouTube you will see that Sami Shah has the background of the X-Men but there is no

X-Men villain so nefariously villainous as our as our star as the star of our next story. Do they count as stars if it's a news story or is it like victim? I'm not sure. The subject of our next news story is the famed farmer bro Martin Shkreli who very famously bought up the prescription drug that was used for AIDS patients and hiked its price from something under $20 to more than $700. He then bought a one-off Wu Tang album and copied it and sold it on. He is now claiming that he is the originator of the DJT cryptocurrency with Donald Trump's son, Barron. Nick Sampson, you've used currency before.

Can you unpack this story for us? Yeah, sure. So Martin Shkreli, Shkreli? Claims he is the one behind the DJT cryptocurrency, which is not affiliated with the mega meme coin. Okay, just just just so you know. Oh, thank God I was so worried. This is a totally cool coin.

And to prove it, he's he's alleged that his partner in the venture was Baron Trump, the 18 year old son of Donald Trump, which is a fantastic team up. I would love to see a limited series about these two trying to take down the Biden administration. He was sentenced to seven years in prison and fined more than $70 million for his other offenses. But he's gone on to claim that he's created this and he's took credit for this token, which to be honest, I don't actually know what it does. So it's a cryptocurrency token. It does nothing.

The point of a cryptocurrency token is that it is a program that says that it exists. It is a signifier pointing to nothing. It is nothing. It is what it is. This is very depressing news for me, given that I invested largely in DJT after failing in Dogecoin. I figured this one was a real winner. It's currently trading, by the way, at at zero zero twelve cents. So not not twelve cents, not zero point zero twelve cents, but zero point zero zero twelve cents. So that's that's what it's valued at. One DJT is valued in case anyone wants to get in on the ground floor, because this can only go up.

Yeah, this is the time to buy. It's literally can only go up. When, this is the time to buy. It literally can only go up. When has Barron Trump ever done you wrong? I mean, I think we're burying the lead here, which is that Martin Shkreli, a man who, if I had been asked to lay money on whether he could do anything more offensive to the general public than he had already done, I would have said no.

I would have said he has plumbed the depths of what kind of mean things you can do to make people outraged, right? I don't think there's that much more that he can do. I don't think anyone could do anything that would surprise people or outrage them further. He's managed it. This is a pioneer in frontiers of s***ery. I just think it's extraordinary. Like he has, I don't know if you've seen the face of Martin Shkreli. It's very difficult because you usually only see the face of Martin Shkreli in a story about something horrendous he's done. But I think he has the kind of face that makes you just want to punch whoever's standing next to you. It's like,

it's not just a punchable face. Not him, but anyone else. Yes, just anyone. Just it's just an enraging face. And I don't know, because the I mean, I hadn't seen that face until I known that he'd already pumped up the price of an AIDS medication to more than $700 a pop. As are you positing that Martin Shkreli is doing this for the good of humanity that he is plumbing the depths of human that he is plumbing the depths of human cruelty, greed, narcissism to provide an example to us, to be a study that we can look at and learn from. He is sacrificing himself at the altar of Bitcoin to so that we can learn from it. I think he's a performance artist.

I think he's he's he's the Banksy of f**kheads. He's the Beeple of s**t. Like I just think he's Truly extraordinary. Yes. Yeah, I've come around on him. You've convinced me clearly. I really just want to just be a fly on the wall for these chats that he's having with Barron Trump. I mean, this is like an 18 year old. Just texts with a lot of emojis. They're on Fortnite.

They're just shooting the shit. Martin Shkreli's like, you want to, you want to, should we go and like throw rocks at some cars? And Barron Trump's like, yeah, all right, let's do it. I reckon Barron,, you have two options. You can either imagine that Baron Trump is like just a normal teenager who's quite tech savvy, or you can imagine he's the kind of teenager who texts messages but all in the letters that are represented by the emojis, like Carrie Fisher used to do on Twitter. And I prefer that version of the world because I like him as the foil

to the Martin Shkreli who's trying to figure out how many wrongs you have to do to make a right. I picture him using a feather quill for some reason. I think I sort of I see him as being quite old school. Like he's like an old he seems like an old soul to me Baron Trump. He does have the vibe of those guys who collect vinyl. Like it's very much that kind of a thing. Yeah, I think it might be like even older, like gramophone recordings. Yeah, I think it might be even older, like Revenant Spirit dug up from under a pyramid by accident.

You know what I feel like about Baron Trump? I feel like those guys must have felt when they were doing the countdown counters for Mary-Kate and Ashley reaching an age of legally being able to have sex with them because I have avoided making fun of Barron Trump for a very long time because I was like, he's just a child. Now he's 18. But now there needs to be a countdown counter online, yes. And we have hit it. Also, by the way, in case anyone was wondering, because Martin Shkreli did specify that it is not to be confused with the MAGA coin, the DJT coin, they're very separate coins, the MAGA coin is currently trading at $5.71 USD.

So turns out better investment even. So he might wish that he was actually the Maga coin. Yeah get some Maga coin. And that brings us to the end of this week's episode of The Gargle. I'm flipping through the ads at the back. Samishar have you got anything to plug? Um I have a podcast it's called News Weekly, W-E-A-K-L-Y. It is a 15 minutes news satire podcast. It's basically whatever's happening in the world

that's important, that's worth knowing. You can skip the entire week's worth of news, listen to that every Saturday morning, and you get 15 minutes of just me ranting at your face or in your ears, actually. That's News Weekly that's available. And you can listen to that, yes. Wonderful, and Nick, do you have anything to plug?

Yeah, I'm going up to, if you're in Scotland, I'm going up to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival this year with my show Yellow Power Ranger, which is about the fact that I was the yellow Power Ranger in the 14th season of Power Rangers, so that you'll get to learn all about that. Power Rangers so that you'll get to learn all about that. Were you really? Yeah. That's fascinating. I'm so sorry, are you? I wish you told me before I wear a dress to battle. Oh, you look great to me.

It's all about how you act inside being a Power Ranger. Were you the in costume yellow Power Ranger or the out of costume yellow Power Ranger? I could Google this, but I don't trust Google anymore. I was the out of costume. Yeah, I was the regular teenager, Chip Thorne, who would then morph into the yellow Mr. Granger with the help of my flip phone that turned into a wand. Okay, I'm slightly less starstruck now

because I just wanna talk to someone who was in the suit and figure out how they do that body acting that they do with them. Oh yeah. It's like very elbow heavy acting for people who are presumably trained dancers. They look so awkward. They're all stuntmen. They're all great dudes. Yeah, sorry, for those of you who are not watching on the YouTube, this entire podcast, it has been quite confusing because there has been someone dressed as the Hello Power Ranger

standing behind Nick Sampson and doing a lot of elbow movements. You can find me online at patreon.com slash Alice Fraser. It's a one stop shop for all of my stand up specials, podcasts and blogs as well as my twice weekly writers meetings. If you want to write something or you're in the middle of writing something and you'd like to write that thing with me sign up at patreon.com slash alice frazer it's an extremely reasonable way uh to join and it's like a wonderful writing community there are people who had never written before who are now getting published every week there are people who have formed collaborations it genuinely brings me absolute joy and if you you are in Tokyo on the 12th of October,

I'm running a writer's intensive afternoon in Shibuya. The application form is available at patreon.com slash Alice Fraser. It is a first come first served deal. This is a Bugle podcast and Alice Fraser production. Your executive producer is Chris Skinner. Your editor is Ped Hunter. I'll talk to you again next week. Bye!

You can listen to other programs from The Bugle, including The Bugle, Catharsis, Tiny Revolutions, Top Stories and The Gargle, wherever you find your podcasts.