The Gargle - Skulls | Cryptopublishers | Chess

Episode Date: July 28, 2022

Alice is with Alison Spittle and debutant Athena Kugblenu for a look into all the big news and NO POLITICS. Including: badger grave diggers, book bro’s and robochess overlords. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi, it's producer Chris from The Bugle here. Did you know that I have a new series of my podcast, Richie Firth Travel Hacker, out now? It's the show where Richie Firth and I talk about how to make travel better in our very special way. In this series, we discuss line bikes, Teslas, the London overground, and a whole bunch of other random stuff that possibly involves wheels

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Everywhere. Acast.com This is a podcast from The Bugle. The locals say this abandoned amusement park is haunted. Sure, they said the same thing about the last one and the one before that and both castles and the abandoned aquarium. And sure, all those ghosts turned out to be real estate developers in masks. But it's definitely a real ghost this time.

Your first step is to split up so the dog can make a giant sandwich. If that vet was such an expert, then why was he pretending to be a ghost? Next, you look for clues until the ghost chases you around. Finally, you set a trap and catch the ghost red-handed. Except it's not a ghost. It's a real estate developer in a mask. What a twist. But wait, there's something else wrong.

That's not skin. It's another mask. With trembling hands, you reach out and begin to pull, and the real estate developer's face peels away to reveal the gargle. Welcome to the gargle. This is the Sonic Glossy magazine, the Bugle's audio newspaper of the visual world, a podcast with all of the news, none of the politics.

I'm your host, Alice Fraser, and your guest editors for this week's edition of the magazine are Alison Spittel and Athena Kudlenu. Hello. Welcome to the show. This is going to be a delightful thing. Anything exciting happening in your lives? I'm sorry, this wasn't in the pre-prepared questions that I sent through for you to script answers to, Alison.

No, no, nothing really. I did a gig last night with a guy called Jerry, he kept heckling me. And then he said, we made a good show, didn't we? No, we did not, Jerry. No, we did not. It's my favourite kind of show, the non-consensual double act.

Yes, exactly. Where the stand-up comedian is supposed to be the straight man to a coked up 70 year old. You know what I mean? Yes, but he's the straight man and the c**t. Alright, before we rinse off in the sink and introduce our clean hands into the aquatic petting zoo that is this week's

top stories, let's have a look at the front cover. The front cover of the magazine this week is a ben affleck and jennifer lopez retrospective where you realize that they both look terrifyingly not 20 years older than they used to look and wonder what exact combination of lasers peels and live axolotl massage keeps you looking that young you'd think just being rich might be the secret but then you realize it can't be because rupert murdoch look at rupert murdoch unless he's 500 years old in which case well done looking good the satirical cartoon this week is set in a gym so it's a drawing of a gym and a weedy looking guy is helplessly leaking fluids onto a peck deck and saying uh excuse me could i get some tips on how to bulk up next to to a massive jacked guy who's labelled the cost of living.

You recognise the heavy-handed metaphor when you see the jacked guy eating the skinny guy's lunch money, and the skinny guy is labelled public services. Wow, so incisive. Now it's time for our top story, tech section news, scary chess robot update. It's exciting chess news, and you know a headline about exciting chess news means either incredibly boring chess news

or existentially terrifying news that happens to have to do with chess. In this instance, it is the second one of these options. Chess robot has torn off a human finger in order to eat it or break into a vault, I guess. No, that's a slight exaggeration. Alison Spittel, you've broken the fingers of your local board game opponents in the past. Can you unpack this story for us? Yes, Alice.

Well, this is a Queen's Gambit that did not pay off for this poor seven-year-old child who was playing chess against a robot. And he went to make a move and the robot held his finger until it broke. Which to me um it's hilarious that this has made the news because when you think about it how many swans have broken the fingers of children over this past year loads i'd say but they don't make the news because they can't play

chess and what i think we should do is teach swans how to play chess so we can get rid of these chess playing robots it reminded me a lot of I mean the real Queen's Gambit is sending a swan to do her dirty work yeah that's true actually we can all admit the real Queen's Gambit is selling arms but let's not focus

on that but the swans break arms you know she's doing nothing wrong and this reminds me of my dad my dad um when i used to play board games with my dad he used to get quite competitive to the point of one time we were playing frustration uh which is a game where you you roll a dice by hitting a little um a little plastic dome and then the the dice keeps going. I kept doing that, and my dad just got the whole game of frustration and threw it against the wall.

And I thought, like, even as a child, being very afraid, I was like, that's very ironic that a game of frustration would drive a man to throw it against the wall. But, yeah, it's making me a bit scared of how I treat my robots now in the future, knowing that robots can break your finger. I'm going to treat my Furby with a lot more respect now. I'm going to stop feeding it cigarettes and using it as a football.

Yeah, so that's my report on that robot breaking finger chess game athena would you play chess with a finger breaking robot yeah absolutely bring it on um i don't i think there should be jeopardy in everything that concerns robots i don't want a nice robot i want you know i want a robot that could kill me otherwise what if you're a seven year old right and you're and your parents are saying you've got to be good at chess where's the incentive if it's not be good otherwise you're going to get your fingers broken okay this is just excellent parenting oh be good otherwise you might be a bit sad if you lose come on guys what is this is this chess playing or is it just

messing about you know you've taken him out of school um but i i thought about this. And if I was a robot and I'm thinking to myself, I want to prove to humans that I'm really good at chess. And my human said, all right, then play a seven-year-old. I'd be like, excuse me, I just told you, I want to prove to you that I'm good at chess. And you're giving me this child that has skid marks in its pants. And I'd break his finger and i'd be like next bring me a grown adult that has gone through an adolescence do you know what i mean like you

know this these kids they hold hands and they say oh we're married that's how juvenile they are and you want and you want me to me to prove my intellect against this person that still watches pj masks and all this nonsense no i wouldn't have have it. So I would say they are lucky it was just a broken finger. It could have, you know, it could have been impaled on the rook, you know, a rook in the eye, you know, so they're lucky there wasn't a bishop in the nostril, quite frankly. And I think it's great. And I think robots, if you're listening, the only way you're going to get what you want is through violence. And we know know this because of malcolm x so you know if you want if you want respect um then break the fingers of unworthy opponents i mean the worst part of this whole

situation was all the adults circling around this child with the finger in the grasp of the robot going castle out of there man castle out of there and that's all the time we have for our tech section because now it's time for your ads your ad section now because you can't be what you can't buy do you have a patchy beard has that never bothered you before this episode of the podcast is brought to you by beard density insecurity get some beard Insecurity up you. It'll bring a whole new spectrum of opportunity into your life. The choice to rub unguents into your jawline in the hope you'll become more consistently her suit, despite the fact that if they worked, anyone who used them would have hairy palms.

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ostriches but evil. In Australia, our crimes against nature are your savings. And this episode of the podcast is brought to you by tongs. Tongs, be a crab in the kitchen and a crab in the bedroom yeah that water is nice but what if you boiled it what if you threw in some leftover tree hair what if you got really crazy and added some cow leakage tea pimp your half a glass of water today that's all the time we have for our ads because now it's time for your nature section nature section now uh badgers bringing home the goods and by goods i mean human skulls uh athena you've buried some human skulls in your time can you unpack this story for us that's right this old

lady lives near a cemetery which is already a terrible choice um and i think you know once you live near a cemetery any related story is like, it's on you. That's kind of, it's like when you buy a house near a train track. You never buy a house near a train track because, you know, the trains will be noisy, they're not really going to buy the land or your house is going to get knocked down,

made into a station. Well, you shouldn't have done that. You live near a cemetery, there's going to be zombies at some point in your life. You know, you invalidate your insurance already. But anyway, what's happened is um badgers have been i guess exhuming acas powers the world's best podcasts here's a show that we recommend every sport has their big, juicy controversy. Boxing has the Mike Tyson ear bite.

Cycling has Lance Armstrong. Baseball has its steroid era. Curling has... Broomgate. It's a story of broken relationships, houses divided, corporate rivalry, and a performance-enhancing broom. It was a year Ienhancing broom. It was a year I'd like to forget. Broomgate, available now.

Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com Remains, and bringing the rose of remains to this old lady now first of all i think that's a very unlikely story and we need to look into this old lady's um life and just just locate all of her loved ones first of all like let's have let's if you find lots of human remains in someone's body in someone's garden and they say oh it's the badgers we you don't just write a news article about it you sort of go is it though is it really is it really and is it really the badgers um if and if it is the badgers then that's a warning for us all because we do cull them every year because apparently they spread tb

and they would probably not like not to be culled and maybe this is them going you know what this is stage one we're just going to dig up some dead people and sort of spread them around just so they know what we're capable of and I would say if a badger is capable of a thinking of that executing it then they're capable of quite a lot um and then if we ignore it was true and if we continue to ignore them it's not going to be exhuming dead people I'll be going to hospitals and just sort of dragging people out with that their ivs and things like that oh yeah i mean they could unplug they could they could unplug you from the wall and i mean it's definitely a threat because badgers are in the uncomfortable

position of being both a protected species and a pest uh so they're in a very like precarious position they don't know if they're going to be protected or wounded it's like a kind of a traumatic psychological you know you don't know how you someone's going to react to you if they're in a very precarious position. They don't know if they're going to be protected or wounded. It's like a kind of a traumatic, psychological, you know, you don't know how someone's going to react to you, if they're going to react to you like you're a pest or like you're an adorable character from Wind in the Willows. They don't know if they're going to murder you or cast you in a Wind in the Willows in the Park production. So, of course, yeah, vengeance.

Apparently the police treated this as a crime scene, an active crime scene to begin with, but then they found more bones and it became less urgent. Alison? Brilliant. So the more people you kill, the less the police care, like, oh, this is too much for us, you know. It's like a house clearance.

Oh, this is too much here, just leave it. That's incredible. But I agree, these mixed messages that were sent to badgers we love you but we hate you uh it never it never ends well i mean i don't know about you but i'm passive aggressive in all my relationships and that's why they've all ended up in the bin and we need to we need to learn from this but i'm terrified of anne anne and the badgers i think that they're working together and yeah it must be yes oh yeah no they're her familiars for sure can we bring back witch burning it just it just proves to me that like badgers are the

gofs of the animal world even if you look at their markings like they look like they're from suzy sue and the banshees or whatever like for me it feels very it feels like animals are getting their revenge on humans by fly-tipping into our gardens our own relatives, which feels horrifying. And then it says here that the council can't move these badgers because it is breeding season at the moment. And for me, it just goes to show the sick habits of badgers. If you're breeding and

mating at the moment and you need you need a femur and a skull i mean whatever happened to romance whatever happened to rose petals i mean these people are just these badgers are just spreading spreading uh bones about to bone each other and it's a disgrace um but apparently hey um and like apparently as well these badgers make very elaborate sets so they will have like a six room um set they'll even make themselves a little bathroom so they don't like they don't like uh any mess in their bathrooms so i suppose look if you did have the court the the 40 year old corpse of a woman from warwickshire or wherever it is in your bathroom you would you would make changes do you know what i mean you would you would pop that out it's a bit of an eyesore that's all the time we have for our badger news now because now it's time for your reviews as

you know each week we ask our guest editors to bring in something to review out of five stars alison spittle what have you brought in for us this week i'm reviewing a feeding a furby a cigarette so uh i i've loved furby since when i was a child um even when my next door neighbor told me that the Furbies were being used by the CIA to spy on me. And I've nothing to hide. So I kept my Furby, you know. And one of my favorite things to do. This has been from when I've grown up is I used to stick my finger in the mouth of a Furby. And it would think it was food.

I used to just trick this Furby all the time. But now I put a cigarette in the mouth of a Furby. Can it smoke? No. But it goes nom, nom, nom, nom, nom on that. And then for me, there's nothing funnier than seeing someone smoke a cigarette and pretending to eat it. And it looks hilarious.

Just what I need you to do is to stick a cigarette in a Furby's mouth today you'll not you'll not regret it five stars five stars sticking a cigarette in a Furby's mouth Athena what have you brought in for us and I mean sorry like not the lit side like I'm not saying extinguish a cigarette on a Furby's face or anything like that that's wrong one star I mean letting the letting the Furby smoke sorry Athena sorry no can I can I review a film you may review yeah so I'd like to to review the gray man on on Netflix which is a film and that's the only thing I can say about it it's it's it is a film and it's I just thing I can say about it. It is a film. I get very passionate about this particular thing and this thing I get passionate about is Netflix action movies.

They're just so bad. And the reason why it's so offensive is they cost about £200 million. So they've, over the course of 10 years, they've probably spent billions they spent billions on just just drivel and they're so i think the people who make them know they're really bad but they sort of do it for the money and i just sort of think there's so much famine and pestilence in this world like how could you how could you spend you know five million on that explosion when you could have you could have bought stuff you could have done anything with that money and instead you just put a mustache on chris evans

and just i don't i walk down the street every time i see a man in a sleeping bag in front of mcdonald's i just think netflix made the gray man this is an injustice of all injustice but it's really bad form and it's offensive because it has really good ingredients it's a bit like going to waitrose and buying the most expensive ingredients you can find in waitrose like finest hummus and whatever you buy in waitrose finest sugar snap peas which i personally have never bought in my life so i'm going to assume they're posh but i don't really know um but you buy all of them and instead of making a nice meal with them you just put it all together and you deep fry it and you make posh food and chips or something it's just it's just so bad and the weird thing about it is like

the cast is great the guy from the hot guy from Bridgerton 1 the sexy one he gave up Bridgerton 2 for that he wears three layers of clothes in that whole movie I swear to god he wears shirt jumper and jacket the whole time so you spend $200 million on a movie. You cast a hot guy from Bridgerton 1 and he's wearing three layers of clothes the whole time. What a waste of money. You can't even put him in a linen suit, which is one layer, and we can get a little bit of definition

if you put the light in right. We can get a hint of nipple. You've got three layers we don't even see none there's nothing and it's just if he's lit from behind

you get the full meat and potatoes I don't know it's it's it's so bad it's got Ryan Gosling in it

it's got Chris Evans it's got famous women who I'm really bad I find it really hard to remember the names of famous A-list celebrity women but I know they're really

famous because they you know how they cast really similar looking women and I've got face I'm face blind but the women are really famous everyone's famous in it and it's terrible and I really and I'd like to start a petition

a government petition to stop Netflix making action movies and I hope it will take off. We're talking about gas prices and the climate crisis. I mean, look, I used to not take it personally, that there were bad movies that exist. But now I have a child and I'm trying to pitch things. It's like, I've pitched so much amazingness and they make no it's just more than

60 seconds but it really makes my blood boil and there's bile in my mouth now excuse me excuse me it's gone now thank you how many stars no stars oh my god none literally no what's the opposite of star? A black hole. My arm. It gets four anuses. Four anuses out of infinity anuses if we're talking about black holes. Thank you. That's all the time we have for our review section because now it's time for our motoring section. As you know, all magazines have an excellent motoring section. And in this instance, it's a motoring slash tech section.

Apparently, nerds and hackers are trolling Tesla owners by wirelessly opening the door to their charging ports using small handheld radios, just as a fun prank against Tesla owners. The problem is most of the Tesla owners are so used to weird things happening to their cars. They think, oh oh this is just another disruption and uh they don't realize that it's a horrible prank uh athena you have opinions about

cars can you unpack this story i can first there's lots of fun first of all nerds are really really boring i'm sorry you have all the power at your disposal all the knowledge of the world you know um binary numbers and you know java and you're using this open a port steal the car just steal it okay in my day if you could get into a car you'd get into it and you drive somewhere fun and then you set fire to the car and then you'd have a good day had by all oh hey guys hey guys look at me look at me i'm opening the chart i'm opening the charging port yeah and so nerds please if you can steal the car steal it if you can't don't but don't open a port that's just boring um secondly

i do think that tesla owners should be trolled not but electric vehicles are probably the way forward even though they have their own environmental issues which you won't go into but they are the way they're the way forward but there's lots of electric cars why would you choose to own a tesla which you know i just i just sort of think every day there's a story about a tesla exploding or the the white the driverless facility has driven someone off of a cliff you know just it's just i don't feel like tesla has ever had a good publicity ever in its whole life i've never opened up a paper to read about how great teslas are and you open them up to read about how horrifically poor these cars perform and people are still buying them um so yeah if it's a weird one if you're a tesla owner you do deserve to have your

car stolen from you if you're a nerd just do the right thing and make that happen and stop being boring hey guys look how cool i am i i made the windscreen wiper move a little bit like no no no bring back happy slapping that's what i say that's some good old school uh pranks that used to happen in my day so i've been all i've been boring all my life what's happy slapping happy slapping was i i think it came out just about when people were able to video stuff on their phones and it was when uh like if you were sleeping on the bus uh someone would come up and slap you actually maybe not the nicest thing maybe i'm looking at back at that with rose tinted glasses but um yeah like uh i love i just love the idea that we we still innovate in pranks. Like, it's beautiful.

Apparently, as a Tesla owner, you can control that by saying, open butthole. You can voice command your car to open its butthole. And never have I ever felt like it's such a true reflection of the person that owns that company. Like, I feel... I mean, first of all, if it were a true reflection of the person who owns that company, it would be open butthole, I'll give you a horse. Secondly, if it's the charging port, surely it should be mouth.

Yeah, you're right. You're right, it should be mouth. Maybe we can get on to... Well, I mean, come here. Unless we've just learned something about the eating habits of billionaires that I didn't want to know. We're talking about buttholes and mouth to Elon Musk, a man who has sired many children.

I don't think he opts for that. Like, you know, I don't think that's his number one option. His orifice of choice is none. Family show, Alison. Sorry, but you know. That's all the time we have for our Nerds Trolling Tesla news, because now it is time for our final story of this week, our crypto section.

This is the news that the crypto revolution uh wants to reimagine books now straight out of the gate i just want to say uh i think the idea of you know revolutionizing you know old boring systems that have layers and layers of corruption and and ancient things holding them back that's a beautiful idea but if we look at what happened when they tried to do that with money uh and immediately ran into literally every problem that it's taken us a thousand years to solve uh you can see why maybe you don't want to change the book immediately um but let's have a let's have a little look at this story athena i assume you're reading a lot of children's books right

now so can you unpack this n news? My gosh, yes. So apparently people who, crypto people love to reimagine things so we can live in a brighter world. And they have said that if we could buy a stake in a book, rather than just own a copy of the book, but you buy a stake in the whole kind of IP of it, that way, if it's a successful book, your stake grows. So this exists already in like

you know if you crowdfund or you know do go you know you can crowd people do that you they say oh give us 10 pounds we'll make a film and your reward would be to own a bit of the film so they've not invented this this is like already existed and secondly like i just sort of think all the amazing books that are going to be amazing i mean. Like, who's going to do The Hungry Caterpillar again? Who's going to do it? It's been done. Who's going to do Dear Zoo again? Who's going to do it?

It's been done. So I feel like they've missed the boat. Why can't we just, why does everything have to be about getting, why can't I just own a book and read it and stick it on my shelf? I'm turning it into an investment opportunity. It's like so smacks of hustle culture like monetize your hobby like go fuck yourself i like reading books don't make me think i should be earning money for doing it so what's wrong with these people like it doesn't crypto doesn't work it's

failed you're all broke this is just it didn't work you tried to get us to invest in this thing and it was really complicated and we had to use wallets and we had to mine and we had to do this stuff and then we did it and we put and we put up all our money in it and now it's all worth nothing it's all worthless i say no no now you can buy a bit of a book and it's like no we don't want a bit of a book we just we just want the whole book we want to read it and we just want to get on with our lives i think crypto now is a red flag anyone that says i need to get into crypto or everything, I just sort of think red flag, not relationship red flag, human red flag. But also to clarify, if you buy a stake in the NFT of the book,

then you get earnings from the sales, not of the book, but of the NFT of the book. So again, wow. I'll tell you something. If I get out of bed and go to work and then come home, by the end of the week or month i'll tell you i'll tell you something if i get out of bed and go to work and then come home by the end of the week or month i get paid and that's good enough for me all right that is more or less good if i write a script and i send it to someone and they buy it i get paid can we just do stuff for money rather than put bets they're just trying to make our

lives into big betting shops and i don't want to i don't want to bet for money i just want to produce something lovely and sell it or whether it's labor or it's creative you know i want to be a bricklayer i want to go up i want to get out of bed go build a wall have someone pay me for that wall and go home i don't want to take a punt on the next hungry hippo book or or whatever i just i just want to have a job and i want to then get money for that job and i want to enjoy my life crypto people please go get into a tesla and drive a cliff we're done with you we're done allison would you buy an nft portion of a book i would perspective book i would uh the book title would be um harry potter and the second mortgage that he had to take out because of a crypto scam like and they could uh they can invest heavily in that and no it just like for me

first editions almost seems like the physical embodiment of crypto scams anyway you know the way that like uh apparently it's like worth more if you're able to um if you're able if you're able to say that you have like the first print of a book itself when that seems like a scam because i mean i you know they've printed like three million of these books i can buy a book tomorrow in paperback probably cheaper than these first editions that people pay thousands for anyway but no it just seems like crypto for me it never made sense a year ago and I've been doing this podcast a year

probably every podcast that we've done as well together has had a story about crypto so I've been forcefully having to read articles about crypto and it's still not working do you know it's still there's never a happy new articles about crypto and uh it's still not working do you know there's never a happy news story about crypto there's never like also the sort of logistics of it don't quite work

because you're investing the opportunity to to be part of the success of a book so you're investing in the nft of the book on the premise that if the book then becomes successful the nft will become valuable it will sell on and you continue to make a profit the more it is sold on. But of course, what you have bought is the opportunity to say, I told you so that a book was successful. No one is later going to buy the opportunity to buy the thing that you said I told you so about because they were wrong. So what are you going to do? There's no secondary sales market. There's no, you've just made a product that no one wants to buy, which is your own smug no one's gonna buy your own smugness later down the line apparently some of them are now saying well what what you can do is you can buy a token a token gate which means that when

you buy this nft part of the book then what you get is like access to behind the scenes conversations with the author so they've just invented patreon and i do not understand why they feel the urge like it's that thing where you're like there's a gap in the market no one's turned this into as you say athena it turned into a horrible gambling den and then you just go why would anyone which book is going to gain the most investment like it's going to be a jordan peterson book isn't that right exactly the people are going to start buying like my life by piers morgan and all this crap don't buy a book because you think it will make you rich in the future buy a book because it will make you look clever when you bring your tinder date home that's that is a proper incentive for buying a book buy it because

you can put it on the on your bookshelf in your zoom background it'll make you look like you've got qualifications okay but don't buy it because it'll make you look rich it's a silly reason to buy a book which is another thing because what they're going to have to do when they sell these nfts is sell certificates so that you can bring your date home and go here look i own 1.6 percent of infinite jest your 25 meter swimming certificate as well i mean come on like no it's just also I don't I really want to eradicate the idea of NFTs

and crypto from the world and if I was if I was Thanos that would be my who disappears people with crypto they can collect they're all gone do you know what book my mum would love for me to invest in the bible maybe we could take a moment They're all gone. Do you know what book my mum would love for me to invest in? The Bible.

Maybe we could take a moment to invest all of ourselves in a good book. Have you heard the good news? Yeah. Which part of the Bible would you invest in? Genesis, for sure. Alright, that's all the time we have for this week's episode of the gargle i'm flipping through the ads at the back athena have you got anything you want to plug oh oh god no i'm doing nothing it's august so i've got nothing in my

diary because everyone's going to edinburgh um just i guess if just find me find me online i'm sure i'm doing something um but yeah it's all on my socials, which is just my name. If you find my name online, you'll find me. Excellent. Find Athena online. She's actually very good value. I follow her on Twitter.

Alison, have you got anything to plug? Yes, I do. I am doing that. Oh, by the way, when I say good value, I mean I've invested in an Athena NFT. And the more successful she is on Twitter, the more of a cut I get for my ego. So if you go follow her, I get a cut. So please do that. So I'm doing a show called Wet Every Day 445 in the Pleasant Courtyard

from the 3rd until the 29th, I think, of August. Every day apart from the 9th, because my sister is getting married that day. Also, I'm going to be in Dublin at the 5th of November in the Liberty Hall, and that's with Wet 2.

Follow me at Alison Spittel on Instagram. I have a link tree there that has all my information in the bio and Twitter is Alison Spittel as well and thank you so much by the way to the garglers that came to see me in Leicester like I actually got people just off the back of this

podcast so were they wearing their half a glass of water t-shirts yeah it's so great if you come to my Edinburgh show and you're a gargler say hello to me and thank you so much for being a listener and everyone thank you well for me because at the moment i'm like dashing to shows and then dashing off so that i can feed my baby i'm not getting to talk to the audiences as much as i was like but i get to look out in the audience and see the half a glass of water t-shirts and be like ah it's like a real genuinely it's a real

thrill it's such a um not to you know um blow smoke up your asses uh, it's like a real genuinely, it's a real thrill. It's such a not to, you know, blow smoke up your asses but it's nice to have a good audience. Speaking of which, I own 13.6% of Wet as an NFT. Sorry, Alison, I minted you while you weren't watching. Oh no! But do go along and support that

in Edinburgh. I'm Alice Fraser. Find me online at alliterative, A-L-I-T-E-R-A-T-I-V, on Twitter and Instagram or patreon.com slash alicefraser is a one-stop shop for all of my stand-up specials, podcasts and blogs. This is a Bugle podcast production and an Alice Fraser production. Your editor is Fed Hunter and Ross Golding. Your executive producer is Chris Skinner. I'll talk to you again next week.