The Gargle - Spherical egg | Memory copies | Orgasm synesthesia

Episode Date: August 22, 2024

Ria Lina and Helen Zaltzman join host Alice Fraser for episode 171 of The Gargle.All of the news, with none of the politics.🥚 Spherical egg🧠 Memory copies🎨 AI copyright😵‍���� Orgasm synesthesia ✂️ Missing scissors🏖 Mother holidaysWatch on YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/@BuglePodcastWritten by Alice Fraser, Ria Lina and Helen ZaltzmanProduced by Ped Hunter, with executive production from Chris SkinnerHOW TO SUPPORT THE GARGLE- Keep The Gargle alive and well by joining Team Bugle with a one-off payment, or become a Team Bugler or Super Bugler to receive extra bonus treats!https://www.thebuglepodcast.com/donate Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Welcome to Sincerely Sloan presented by Uninterrupted. I'm your host, professional tennis player, wife, parent, and entrepreneur Sloan Stevens. As an athlete and as a person, my journey has had a lot of twists and turns for moments of adversity and doubt to unimaginable triumph and satisfaction. Throughout the season, I'm joined by some of the biggest names in sports, entertainment, culture, and a few members of my tribe. Our conversations keep it real and push it past skin deep. We reveal the perspectives, routines, and products that allow each of us to show up at our best. Join me on my journey of self-discovery and many, many laughs along the way. Sincerely,

Slán. to monetise their podcasts everywhere. ACAST.com. This is a podcast from the Bugle. A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, a giant wall of text hurtled through space. It destroyed countless spaceships, space stations, moons, and even planets. Trillions died. The galaxy's greatest minds came together to end the horror, but their giant eraser did nothing.

Their giant whiteout was even less successful. When the giant delete key failed, the galaxy's greatest generals took over. But no army or strategy was enough. Finally, the galaxy tried reasoning with the Wall of Text. As usual, reason didn't work. The galaxy was destroyed and the Wall of Text kept drifting. Now it's the present in this galaxy, and the wall of text is heading straight for us.

It says, long, long ago in a galaxy far, far away, the gargle. Welcome to the gargle. The Sonic Glossy Magazine to the Bugles Audio Newspaper for a visual world. All of the news, none of the politics. I am your host, Alice Fraser, and your guest editors for this week's edition of the magazine. Ah, Ria Leena, welcome. Hello. Thank you for having me. It's a delight to have you back and Helen Zoltzman.

Hello. How exciting to be flying through space with you all. Well, before we strap in and launch into the never-ending galaxy that is this week's Top Stories, let's have a look at the front cover of this week's magazine. The front cover of this week's magazine is Hugh Jackman as Wolverine and Ryan Reynolds as Deadpool. We didn't book them but they just showed up on our front cover because someone told them they have friendship chemistry and now they're f***ing everywhere. So true. I was going to ask you if you've been following them, but they follow you.

They do. You know what? I am quite enjoying the slight bit of shade that Blake Lively is bringing to the whole picture with the rather, the slightly negative promo on her movie. Stunning. What a twist. Right. Finally the Marvel multiverse serves me something that I'm amused by. And the satirical cartoon this week is a speech bubble over a New Yorker style cartoon saying here's an interesting social norm and it's just a guy called Norman Inaberre who alone among his peers doesn't have social anxiety and just wants a pleasant chit chat in passing.

his peers doesn't have social anxiety and just wants a pleasant chit chat in passing. And that brings us to our top story today. Top story today is the news that a man has bought a spherical egg. Ria, you're a scientist. What is this egg shock news? I mean, there are plenty of eggs that are spherical. This is a chicken egg, which is not usually spherical, correct? Actually, I don't know many eggs of eggs that are spherical. This is a chicken egg, which is not usually spherical, correct? Actually, I don't know many eggs. Oh, owl eggs. There are a few spherical eggs. Yes, you're right, like turtles.

But I was thinking, sorry, I was thinking avian, going, interesting. But it is unusual for a chicken to pop out a perfectly spherical egg. And I believe it's to do with the pressure of it coming out and also the strength of the ovoid shape. It's a very strong shape and but to me the surprising thing was that he was willing to spend a hundred and fifty pounds on it and then

didn't seem to be stressed at all while waiting for it to be shipped. I would have been very stressed until it arrived in one piece. He also doesn't seem to have done any real research into how to preserve this 150 pound egg. He said he feels like he's got his money's worth. But yeah, he doesn't, it's just gonna go off. He said, I believe there's a thing called egg blowing. He's right to believe he's a man of faith, but maybe it was all about the journey,

not the destination for him with this egg. And also, a spherical egg sold in 2015 for £480. So £150 is a relative bargain. That's interesting. It's nice to know that men will also get drunk and do late night shopping, because that tends to be a very female thing to do. So I'm glad there was evidence of someone else doing it as well. But actually, I painted an egg in high school, and for whatever reason, we decided to keep it. And it does go off, and it stinks. But eventually it dries out. And now that egg just has a tiny little kernel on the inside of it, but it's absolutely fine. So he just needs to like, store it away in a cupboard for a couple of years. And then he can bring it out whenever he wants.

And goes, look, it's an egg. and they'll go, it's a golf ball. And they'll go, no, it's an egg. They'll be like, you shaved a golf ball. And he can have that conversation for the rest of his days. So he's saying persevere. You don't blow the egg. You just-

No, no, I don't think he should. Cause he will mess it up. It also won't be perfectly spherical if you put even one tiny little hole in it, will it? He could practice on a boring egg. You just wait it out. I mean there's no guarantee that this egg hasn't been fertilised and he won't get a tiny perfectly spherical chicken out of it.

Aww. Oh my gosh. Although owls and budgies lay spherical eggs and they- Oh they do? They don't have fully spherical young. I don't know, have you seen a baby owl? They're pretty spherical. I was reading about a type of egg that hens sometimes lay that is called fairy eggs or

fart eggs, which are often much rounder and contain only albumin. And it's either that their fertility is amping up or amping down in their laying life, or it's just a fluke and a shell grew before a yolk formed. And they also used to be called cock eggs because they thought those were the eggs that the male chickens laid. Because it looked very similar to male secretion. I don't know, never looked at a chicken's secretion. I couldn't remember if we were family friendly here, but then you said the word f*** and then obviously… We're family friendly for a certain value of family

is the thing. Got it. No, no, that's fine. I loved that you started actually with a whole Star, you know, that kind of Star Wars going through the universe theme, because yesterday- For copyright reasons, I have no idea what you're talking about. For copyright reasons, you did none of those things.

Well, you just described words flying through space, but yesterday a German Navy boat came up the Thames playing the Darth Vader theme. And it just floated up. I can't do it for copyright reasons, but everybody knows what I'm referring to. So just imagine a German Navy boat doing that. But I'm sure between them, not a single spherical egg. So, hmm. It's like an ice cream truck gone evil, that. Selling me a 99p for £1.10. The lady across the road from me is a medical dermatologist and I got chatting to her at the cafe today and she said that, you know, I have pregnancy melasma, which is little markings

that you get on your face and that I could get rid of them with a, with a chemical peel. And I said, what does that entail? And she said, it entails seven days of your face peeling off. And I was like, I have children. They're my face skin. Like, oh, oh, oh no. But also you could alternative, just saying saying this again as a scientist, science hat on, you could just wait seven years, because your skin renews by then. Just give it, just

give it some, by the time they're in primary school, people will be like, what, miasma? Your ad section now, because you can't be what you can't buy. And Dancy Lagarde fans, the book, the Dancy Lagarde reader now called A Passion for Passion, One Woman's Delirious Love Letter to Romance, has a release date. It is coming out on the 6th of February, which is magnificent because it is just in time for Valentine's Day. And as 80% of all book sales happen at Christmas, there won't be anyone in the bookshop competing for your right to buy. To be honest, I don't actually know if it'll be a bookshop, so you're better off buying it at unbound.com.

And you can get a signed copy there if you go to unbound.com and type in a passion for passion. You've mastered the crane, the frog, the lotus flower. You can fold paper into anything. Now it's time to ditch the paper and try something harder. Fold yourself through four space with time travel. Time travel. Interdimensional origami. You can run with scissors, but you can't hide with scissors. At Stand Out Stationery, our scissors are giant, neon pink and never stop screaming. You'll never wonder where your scissors are again, only why they're screaming. You've done the wrong ratio in your pot to pasta quantity again, and your water is frothing

over the edge, heading for the hot plate with the starchy determination of a soldier on the front line charging into a hail of bullets. You can turn the heat down, you can bin your whole kitchen, but why not try ladling out about half a glass of water? Half a glass of water makes all the difference between you and having to scrub your stove. And in nine months' time time you won't have time to baby proof your home. Get it done early with express baby proofing. When the sky turns green in the unstoppable wave of evil babies begins rampaging across the world you'll be glad your

home is baby proof. Acast powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Welcome to Sincerely Sloan presented by Uninterrupted. I'm your host, professional tennis player, wife, parent, and entrepreneur Sloan Stevens. As an athlete and as a person, my journey has had a lot of twists and turns for moments of adversity and doubt to unimaginable triumph and satisfaction. Throughout the season, I'm joined by some of the biggest names in sports, entertainment, culture, and a few members of my tribe. Our conversations keep it real and push it past skin deep. We reveal the perspectives, routines, and products that allow each of us to show up

at our best. Join me on my journey of self-discovery and many, many laughs along the way. Sincerely, Slán. Now it's time for brain news and this is the news that your brain, your brain, your brain is found to store three copies of every memory. Helens Oltzman, you can remember some things. Can you unpack this story for us? I can remember very little, but it's very sad. I was like, not even one copy? That's because this is a study in mice. And I've heard mice are different to people. Tails for one, being able

to shimmy under doors. But perhaps this will be the same as well. So it's three different sets of neurons will be activated and they're like activated at different times in a mouse's neuron development. And they have different sort of durations of the memory. So one might fade and the other one is like, I'm still here, which is hard if you want to forget the terrible things you did when you were young as I do. And your middle neurons are like, not today. Ria, do you think this would translate to humans at all? Well, they say they use mice because they have the same number of

neuron types as we do. Something like 75 in the brain. I mean, the idea that I don't know that we need to know everything that there is to know in science. Like I'm a huge fan of science, don't get me wrong, got a lot of degrees, study it, love it. But sometimes you go, did we need to know that? So a memory is stored in three different sets of neurons. In one set, it's really strong and then it fades over time. And another set is just kind of always there.

And in the third set, it's not very strong and then it gets stronger over time. And I just thought so how do we know that all three memories are the same? How do we know that they've all remembered it the same way? Are you just going to be having an argument in your brain going no no she was wearing a red dress and the other memory is going no no it was a black and gold dress and the other one's like no it was white and green you know and's like, it's just the angle of the photograph. I just, I question, I don't, I, is it, I mean, it sounds fascinating on the surface. You go, okay, we could do something with this.

And then in the end you go, does this mean that I'm only remembering a third of my life because I'm using three times as much brain power to remember one thing? And why is it always that one memory that is of no use to me? Yeah, why is it always that one memory that is of no use to me? Yeah, why is it Billy Piper's second single? Right.

And why can't I remember, you know, when you know, why can't I remember where I met someone when I meet them again, out of context? Why is that never right at the forefront of my brain? But I can remember, you know, my fourth birthday. What if the mice aren't accurately reporting? What if they're like, yeah, yeah, I remember that. Did we go to a conference together? Is that it?

Ah, yes. Steve? The researchers said that their work could have implications for treating people who have been damaged by a traumatic event because they say that the work shows how it might be possible to change memories in the brain. I feel like that is not hopeful news to me. That just means that I can no longer trust any of my memories if they can all just change at the drop of a hat. We've made movies about this. Isn't Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind about erasing traumatic memories?

I can't remember. I can't. I think it is. Yeah. Well, I mean, I saw it and then erased it. But we've already done movies where we mess around with memory. We already know that eyewitness accounts are very, very unreliable, unless we can do like a black, I mean, this is becoming Black Mirror.

We're really seriously getting into an episode of Black Mirror where we can just go, well, there's three different records of this. We're just gonna put, what do they call it? Things in your brain. We're gonna suck out your memories. We're gonna see what actually happened. I think it's dangerous.

The more that they find out about this stuff, the more you find out that the memory is incredibly unreliable. So they did all that stuff with retrieving people's childhood memories of terrible events and they found out that they were not, they were verifiably, you could just make anyone remember anything. Which is just by telling them what you, or leading them down the path,

which is why every night when I put my children to sleep, I go, that was a lovely day, wasn't it? it. Mommy was very present and the best and daddy was somewhere. And that brings us to our reviews section. As you know, each week we ask our guest editors to bring in something to review out of Five Stars. Rhea, what have you brought in for us this week? I am bringing to you, and I don't think that Five Stars is enough, the concept of mothers going on holiday by themselves. I think I just did one. I probably did the first one I've ever done in my life where I went on an actual holiday.

Not like, oh, I'm working in this country and my work is 20 minutes a night, so let's call it a holiday. No, no. I mean where you go and can legitimately turn your phone off and you know that your children don't need to reach you every second of the day and you do whatever you want. I had so many naps in the first three days of my holiday, people would say I wasted it. I did not. I mean six, seven, seven stars out of five stars. I cannot, I am now, it was so beneficial. I'm now going to do it over Christmas. Might not be, might not be five out of five stars

for the kids, but you know, if you want me healthy and hail and ready for 2025, you're gonna let mommy do this. I feel like this is the one legitimate use for AI, which is to put together a family video of this Christmas where you weren't there, but insert yourself in post-hoc using a deep fake, and then make them question their own memories of the event. Do you know what though I found I've just been

looking through photos and finding photos from different Christmases if they weren't time stamped I wouldn't be able to tell you which one it was so I'm just gonna I'm just gonna say no we're not gonna look at Christmas photos for ten years and then if you can name the year, you can claim the damage. All right? I'll pay for your therapy if you can even identify which year I went on holiday. Just tell them Christmas is once every four years, like the Olympics. Or leap year. Well, that means you have to do this one.

You know what? Let's be honest. Jesus was born once, he came back once. That's two, total. That's what I'm giving you, right? Seems reasonable. Helen, what have you brought in for us to review this week? I have brought the concept of having a little mystery at your wedding, because I went to a wedding at the weekend and you know the little place cards that have your name on to tell you which bit of the table to sit at. So mine had my name on the front and then everybody's had on the other side the initials L and A and the date September 11th 2025 which was not the date of the wedding, it wasn't the anniversary of the wedding, the people getting married did not have the initials L or A and it was quite the icebreaker. I find it awkward to have to make conversation with people I don't

know but we're all like what the hell is this? Is it some kind of September 11th thing they're planning next year? Hollywood's gonna get it! Yeah and it probably was whichever of the happy couple ordered the place cards just forgot to erase that part of the template, but kept us going for like an hour. Conversation. Five out of five. Now it's time for our AI news, which is the news that AI companies have lost, lost in the attempt to dismiss parts of a copyright case being put against them by a bunch of visual artists. So a group of visual artists can continue to pursue their

claims against the AI companies. I don't know whether this is going to be a good thing in the end or a bad thing in the end. These little cases can go on for years. Rhea, you've seen something that's right and something that's wrong. Can you unpack this story for us? Well, it's an interesting case. The idea that AI cannot survive in a vacuum. It needs other people's work. Especially these are AI programs that recreate art. So you can say, here's a picture of me, put me on the moon, make it in the style of Picasso. And then it'll go and it'll look at Picasso's work and then take the picture of me and put me in a Picasso moon.

But the question is, does Picasso therefore have, is that an infringement of his copyright? Because I wouldn't be able to say in the style of if it wasn't for Picasso creating said style. And so the argument is whether AI is infringing copyright. That's one of the few things that this judge has allowed through to be discussed in court. And it's all over the internet.

Everyone's discussing it. There's so many Reddit forms and discussions and threads where they're going through this. Generally, I think it's agreed that if only your art feeds the AI, then you can copyright the product, which is another, the other side of it, is if I create something, if I create Ria on Picasso Moon, does Ria get the copyright for that?

Because Ria created it, but Ria didn't really, because it was off the back of many, many other giants. But then, can any art be created in a vacuum? Without saying, I first studied many other artists and they influenced what I now create. Oh no, oh, and wormholes and wormholes, and it opens and opens and it never ends. On the bright side, people who ask chat bots for links are often given links to

Rick Astley's Never Gonna Give You Up because so much of the internet is just people answering genuine queries with links to Rick Astley's Never Gonna Give You Up. Oh, that's beautiful. You know how for a while people like our now King Charles were worried that nanobots were going to become self-replicating and turn the entirety of the rest of the world into nanobots. Is ultimately the entire internet going to become never going to give you up? I mean is that the worst possible end to the internet that we can imagine?

I think it's probably one of the better ends of the internet that I could imagine. I love the idea that it ends there and that there is a humanity in a few hundred, if not thousand years, that remembers the internet era. The way that there was a Bronze Age, and an industrialization age, there will have been, do you remember, there was an internet age, but they will only speak of it through storytelling

around fires because there's no other way to store data. Yeah, we're gonna have to draw the internet on cave walls just for people in a few thousand years time. A couple of thousand years time, where they can't go back and read the internet, how will they know who f***ed whom out of a shipment of copper? I feel like this is the real tragedy. Oh, man.

Will the Kardashians survive if the internet implodes? Like, will they be the ones that people speak of in a thousand years? Like, Beethoven, you know, you're pretty sure Beethoven will be known about in another couple thousand years. But if people are still listening to music, all they can listen to is never going to give you up on loop. They gave up. They gave up music. They gave up. They just went if this this that's it. It's the Beethoven of 1988 now. And coincidentally, the death of the earworm. Murdered violently. And that brings us to extremely specific one person in the world, but interesting news

now. And this is the news that a man with synesthesia that is triggered by orgasm, sees the world in hues of pink when he comes, which I think is, I mean, as somebody who's writing a book about, a comedy about romance, but not a rom-com, I'm writing a comedy book about romance. I feel like this is very relevant to my interest, which is probably why someone sent it to me. Helen Zoltzman, you've seen Shades of Pink before.

Can you unpack this story for us? Yeah, and I have synesthesia, but not orgasm-triggered synesthesia. So, a 31-year-old man in Iran called Mr. R, for the purposes of these reports, and he was referred to psychiatrists because he was saying that after climaxing he had much higher contrast vision with pink everywhere.

And lucky guy, I mean imagine this far worse colours to have, it seems very on theme. And it's also maybe triggered by pain but this specific pain? Perhaps for him. So yeah I don't know why this is news except I guess it's uh pleasant enough um because it's a little bit cheeky. The reports say this is one of the most rare forms of synesthesia and I have to question that because is it rare or do people just not think to mention to their doctor? I have a difficult enough time getting treated for ailments, let alone Having the opportunity to chat about orgasms and colors. Yeah, the person who invented the phrase seeing fireworks

Actually saw fireworks, but everyone else just took it as a metaphor And also he wouldn't have been diagnosed until he was what on average 16, 17. He wouldn't have even known he had it. Presumably. Oh, 13. He's a boy. 13, 14. Like now I'm wondering, I didn't even think about this when I first read this story,

but now I'm wondering, does it happen only when he's with someone or when he's by himself? But, but it wasn't his only form of, it turns out he's got another form. He had a form within synesthesia as a kid. Whenever he had heart palpitations or this heart pain. He'd see everything in white So he's obviously so he obviously has some kind of tactile, you know, whenever his nerve system gets like gets a Gets overloaded then his brain sees color. What's your form of synesthesia? Oh, mine is mostly each letter of the alphabet has a colour

and some words and occasionally flavours. But it's mostly alphabet. And then whenever I read someone else's alphabet colours, I'm like, no way, wrong. Wait, flavours have colours? Yeah, some of them, not many though. Like salt and vinegar crisps are emerald green, but I don't have, some people have like a full spectrum of colours to taste and I

don't, I just have that one. Bear with my autism. I get the words, so you see words in certain colours, but if you, is it when you eat the crisp? Or if I think about it. But what, what bit is green? Would, do you see the crisps as green? Do you see the word as green or do you, when you eat it, does everything is green? Do you see the crisps as green? Do you see the word as green?

Or do you, when you eat it, does everything turn green? No, it doesn't. It's more like the concept of green is hovering around in my subconscious, but it's not such a literal sight. But if I'm trying to remember something, then the colours come in. Like if I'm trying to remember words and letters or if it kind of influences my feelings about them. Like the colours of my own name are not not very pleasing. They're a bit school uniform so that's a bit of a letdown for me. It makes me like my nameless. That's interesting. The letter R is purple to me. That's nice. Not to me but we've all got our own. We all have our own thing. One of the most rare forms of synesthesia is a man who

also saw letters as colors, but was himself colorblind. So he didn't know how to describe what he was seeing because he couldn't see colors. So he was never taught like this is red, this is pink, this is green. So we called them Martian colors. That is fantastic. Well, when I orgasm, I see a montage of like a train going into a tunnel and then like the top of a Coca Cola bottle flying off and then someone like bringing up the Eiffel Tower.

It's very specific. You are the perfect person to write a comedy about romance. I think you are the middle of everyone's Venn diagram. Venn and Venn, Venn-Zenn diagrams. The Zenn diagram is where it doesn't matter how far the circles are away from each other. The circles are all one. And that brings us to our final story

of this week's episode of The Gargle. This is the news that 36 flights were canceled and 201 flights were delayed at a Japanese airport on the weekend after a pair of scissors went missing in a store near the boarding gates. Helen, you're a crafty person. Can you unpack this tale of woe? Mm, well, it caused massive disruption,

and classically, the scissors were in the store where they left them. They were like, is someone taking the scissors to hold up a plane? No, we just, they're just under a piece of paper or something, like at home. Also, I want to know how long the blade was. Like, we just, they're just under a piece of paper or something. Like at home. Also, I want to know how long the blade was. I feel like they should have mentioned how long the bladed scissors were, because we've

all by now had our nail scissors confiscated because they were three millimetres too long, according to whatever. I've had a knife from a travel cutlery set confiscated because it was half a centimeter too long, even though it was made of plastic. All of these things where you go, okay, we've all been through that trouble, so these scissors better have been, they better have been like ceremonial cutting of ribbon scissors to cause this much havoc. Otherwise I would have been really upset. CHARLEYY And picturing them as those kids scissors with the rounded ends made out of plastic

that barely even cut paper. Crimping sheer edge that don't even cut anything in a straight line. Yeah, just kind of mash it. The last time I went to Sydney, they confiscated a pair of tweezers that I had in my bag. And I got to Sydney and I got to my dad's place and I found in the bottom of the same bag, a fruit knife.

Wow. Well, you know what really frustrates me is when you get things confiscated on your way back. So you've made it all the way through at least one airport to go on holiday or to go to work or to go to your destination. And then it's on the way back as you're leaving that place where you go, listen, I got in here, I was responsible, I did not use these scissors to hurt anybody, nor do I intend to.

I'm going to go home to my country where I'm allowed to run around with all sorts of things once I'm through security and they go, no, no, we can't trust you with this. And they take it off, you go, I can't believe it. I got this far in my journey and to just discovered right at the last minute. But they just don't know. They don't know if you've been on a tweezer stabbing rampage on your way to the airport. They can't trust you. Well, that I wouldn't have made it through to their country if I had. That's the whole thing. It's like there should be some trust points. Like I should get a little sticker going, hey, A-star made it through an airport without causing

trouble. And then on the way back, they can go, oh, that airport trusts you. Well, you know, without a single rampage, okay? You know, hormonal or otherwise, as they like to always identify a female rampage. My biggest airport injustice is that they don't profile me when I have the baby strapped to my front. You have to unstrap the baby

and put the baby sling through the scanning machine. Not the baby though, just the sling. Not the baby, just the thing. And then you have to throw the baby through. No. I mean, this was a few years ago, but I remember I was traveling in the States

and this shows their dedication to Super Size. I bought a drink and this must have been before the liquid band. Anyway, I bought a massive drink and it had ice in it and I was carrying the drink as I was going through security. So it must have been before the 100 milliliter liquid band. So many, many years ago, you know, I was a kid. I liked big sugary drinks. And I remember that they went, you can't bring the drink. They didn't want the drink to go through me inary drinks. And I remember that they went, you can't bring the drink. They didn't want the drink to go through me in the x-ray machine.

So they said, put it on the side. So I put it on the side, I went through, I was fine. They picked up the drink, they shook it, they heard the ice, and then they gave it back to me. And I went, that's how you, that's how you smuggle stuff. You make it sound like ice. Because I could have had all sorts of, I could have had my lock of, I could have had my

lock picks, I could have had, you know what, I could have plastic wrapped a little battery in there, I could have put all sorts of things in that drink. Cause they didn't open it up and it didn't go through the scanner. Of course, now you, you know, you can't do that anymore. That's why I tell that story. Well, I mean, the part of you that stands near a high thing and goes jump, jump is hoping

that I will not remember this story when I go to Japan in October, because I'm gonna be in Japan in October and I'll be in the airport and there'll be just the worst part of me will just be going like, why don't you go to the shop and just hide all the scissors? Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Yeah, but in the same shop, just put, you know, just one behind a book, one under a magazine, one in the chewing gum. You should take scissors with you and secrete them around the shop. Leave them everywhere. And that brings us to the end of this week's episode of The Gargle. I'm flipping through the ads at the back. Rhea, have you got anything to plug? Yes, I am going to be doing,

as part of the Unlimited Festival on the South Bank in London, I'm going to be doing a special performance of Abnormally Funny People. So if you want to celebrate everything, all the diversity that Humany has to offer, then come along to that on the South Bank. You can get tickets at the South Bank Center.

Wonderful, and Helen, have you got anything to plug? Yeah, I'm just about to start a tour of the UK with a new Illusionist Day show about frenemies and words that get spam-filtered out because they've got a swear in them and a lot of very emotional stuff like that. And that's from 25th of August until 20th of September and the dates are at theillusionist.org slash events. I've already bought my tickets to the one in London on the 7th of September.

No refunds. So buy tickets to that and high five. I'll high five you when you're there. You get a bonus high five from me if you buy a ticket. If you are in Tokyo or in London, I have two writers' sort of masterclass afternoons. One is on the 8th of September in London and one is on the 12th of October in Tokyo. You can find both of them by going to patreon.com

slash Alice Fraser. You don't need to sign up to get access to the application forms, I just keep everything on patreon.com slash Alice Fraser because that is my one-stop shop for all of my stand-up specials podcasts and blogs as well as my twice weekly writers meetings and my weekly salons This is a bugle podcast and Alice Fraser production your editor is ped hunter your executive producer is Chris Skinner I'll talk to you again next week. You can listen to other programs from the bugle including the bugle catharsis, Tiny

Revolutions, Top Stories, and The Gargle, wherever you find your podcasts. Acast powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Welcome to Sincerely Sloan presented by Uninterrupted. I'm your host, professional tennis player, wife, parent, and entrepreneur Sloan Stevens. As an athlete and as a person, my journey has had a lot of twists and turns from moments of adversity and doubt to unimaginable triumph and satisfaction. Throughout the season, I'm joined by some of the biggest names in sports, entertainment, culture, and a few members of my tribe.

Our conversations keep it real and push it past skin deep. We reveal the perspectives, routines, and products that allow each of us to show up at our best. Join me on my journey of self-discovery and many, many laughs along the way. Sincerely, Slán. Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com.