The Glass Cannon Podcast - Ascension Part 3 – Knightswimming (Milwaukee)

Episode Date: March 29, 2025

After discovering a haunted animal corpse and a desecrated underwater statue, the heroes contend with yet another lakeside disturbance. Watch the video here: https://youtu.be/D5roz4iuSvU Join Troy Lavallee, Joe O'Brien, Skid Maher, Matthew Capodicasa, Sydney Amanuel, and Kate Stamas as they tour the country. Get your tickets today at https://hubs.li/Q03cn8wr0. Access exclusive podcasts, ad-free episodes, and livestreams with a 30-day free trial with code "GCN30" at jointhenaish.com. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit https://hubs.li/Q03cmY380. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You are listening to the Glass Cannon Network, the premier source for role-playing game entertainment. How we doin' Milwaukee? How we doing Milwaukee? Man, last time we were here, it was Sydney's first show. Yes. Wow. And it was like a week after COVID. There were seven or eight people here. And I was backstage, I'm like, this is gonna suck. And it was amazing. And now we've got well over 200 people here tonight.

I'm a little nervous for this energy. Especially in a drinking town like Milwaukee. Oh my God. So many drinks just got raised. They had to bring in 12 extra bartenders now that we've added an intermission. Matthew Capodicaza just landed moments ago! He came so close to having his character get horrible horrible shit. I had planned a real disgusting opening. He was telling us about it at lunch and I just started his plan if he

hadn't made it. And I started laughing so fucking hard I couldn't stop laughing. This kid was out of commission for lunch. He was laughing. He spit lettuce like four feet away. It's that kind of generosity and friendship that really keeps me coming back to this game. I'd like to read the response I sent when I texted the group that I had landed. This is from Kate Stamos.

All lowercase, no punctuation. Oh, this is ruining my parlay. It did. It did. We can't have any fun. We were ready for you, Matthew. We were in the green room and we cheered when you walked in. So don't be mad at us. I'm not mad.

I just want a cut of my winnings. Don't worry. I'll use this scene some point. But Matthew, I think it's time that you let the people know why you were late. I think it's important. I think a public setting, this is a big moment for you. And I want you to share it unless you want us to share it

So you don't have to take any focus If I say can you share it will the answer not be horrible? No, I'll be really nice Matthew got a job writing for a show on Netflix Big fucking deal It's a deal. Thank you. All right. Our little Maddie cat. Thank you. That's very kind. I always said his little skits would turn out into something. I always said it.

That must be one smut-filled show, man. Just filthy. It actually is a little smutty. In a literal sense, it's a little smutty. It's a little smutty. It's a little smutty. It's a little smutty. It's a little smutty.

It's a little smutty. It's a little smutty. It's a little smutty. It's a little smutty. It's a little smutty. It's a little smutty. It's a little smutty. It's a little smutty.

It's a little smutty. It's a little smutty. It's a little smutty. It's a little smutty. It's a little smut-filled showman. Just filthy. It actually is a little smutty. In a literary way. It wasn't until they hired you. So this is a big deal, man. We're very, very excited for you. But what is it like? Is it intimidating? Are you trying to play cool? Like you come in with sunglasses like a transfer student?

So sucks Think you hired me I gotta go alpha to like get away from the nurse. Yeah, did you beat somebody up on your first day? That's what I told him to do. I said he got a beat up one of the other writers the first day that you're there The strongest one. You picked the strongest one. Pick out the strongest writer and beat them up. It is very intimidating. Also, cigarettes can be used as currency.

That's a different story. That's a different story. No, it actually still holds true. It is very intimidating. Everyone's really, really smart and everyone's... I'm the least experienced person on the staff. Yeah. They're going to know.

They're going to know. I mean, but it's like, the advice I got, which was really good advice, is just like, listen 10 times more than you speak, which I'm trying to do. And I have a notebook next to me and sometimes I'm writing in the notebook. Now I'm realizing this is going to be public knowledge, but I'm writing in the notebook. I'll like write down the thing I'm going to say and I'm knowledge, but I'm writing in the notebook. I write down the thing I'm gonna say, and I'm like, do I really think that needs to be said? And then sometimes I say it,

even though I was gonna hold my tongue on it, and then I'm like, why did you just speak? All right, I will write. Wow, could've played that one cool. Yet here we are. Now I'm worried for you, because I gave you that note 10 years ago, and you never listened.

Aw. That's okay. We're having a good time. Matthew, I don't know why, but I imagine in my mind a writer's room is like Mad Men. Like you're at a table and everyone's like spitting ideas. Is that how it is? Like do you say stuff out loud and then people are like, no. And then they like point to somebody. I imagine it's like that. Is it? It is kind of like that. That's very intimidating. It is very intimidating. And I was, you know, I never worked on stuff in a room before. And like, I've written screenplays, but I work on those by myself. And then I get notes and I go way up. And this is very real time where it's like raw pitching. Someone's got it. Like someone will come up with an idea and then someone else be like, what if we did that in this episode? And then

I'm like, well, that has this, that'll have ramifications over here. It's just, it's like, it's very like three-dimensional chess that I'm like, well, that has this, that'll have ramifications over here. It's just, it's like, it's very like three dimensional chess that I'm just trying to keep up with. Do you ever, when somebody has an idea, do you ever go, no? No. All right. So you're always like, love it. But let's think about. I think the etiquette would that you never shoot down ideas. Okay.

Well, the show, because the show runners can shoot down ideas. Got it. So your job is, I'm learning. I think you should come in hard and be like, good, let's get the bad ideas out of the way first. What else you got on that notebook? Good joke, Samantha. Now tell me your real idea. Could you imagine, could you imagine if we actually did that on the show?

Oh my God, you're cracking me up. What time period is it set in? The present day. Okay, great. I got an idea. It's based on a novel. Troy has an idea. And it's based on a conversation we had at lunch today because Kate is dabbling with

the life of a unicorn right now. And I think that this subculture, they're so mad that I brought the sub, this subculture needs to have a light shed on it and you can walk in Monday morning and be like, unicorns. I think Troy- I need a little more context. Kate, tell them about your new life.

I think Troy just- Wait, wait, wait, wait, tell them about your new life. I think Troy just... Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. First question to Matthew, just first question. Do you know what a unicorn is? Do you know what we're saying right now? As in the fantasy creature, oh wait, we're talking like the fantasy creature with the horn that... There is fantasy involved.

Or is it... So like... So like Christoph for Zengis, is that what you're talking about? I don't think Troy knew what this was until... I didn't. I didn't. Okay, so that... Just seeing Troy knew what this was. I didn't. I didn't. OK. So that's.

Just seeing if Matthew did. OK. I do not. Kate? Kate? Oh, no. This happened when I was on my work trip. You can imagine.

But I went to the Carousel Bar when I was in New Orleans. And I had a time in my life. I sat next to a very witch, old white man, and then three ladies, who after hitting on me profusely the entire time, I learned they are unicorns. And the man said, wow, my daughter loves unicorns. And they're like, no, not that kind.

These kind are professional third companions in your relationship. Oh. Thirds. Thirds. I couldn't tell if they were trying to recruit me or not, but I had a good time. Why? Absolutely worked. Why are they called unicorns? I don't know, I never have.

Because they're so rare. Yes. And when you find one, it says it finding it. So just like Chris Taps Porzingis, he could have just said Chris Taps Porzingis. I think it's because there is a lot of strapping on of things happening. Yes. I think that's a prime part a lot of strapping on of things happening. I think that's a prime part of the gig.

Wait a minute. Do you think that unicorns are just horses with strap-ons? Now I do. I like that idea. But yeah, I'm sure that's where they started. They were like, no, no, it means one. It means one. As they're belting on. This fucking bike spoke of dildos. But I'm telling you, man, not a lot of people know about this.

How many people knew about unicorns? How many people use them? No, I'm kidding. But you could bring this to the table and they'd be like, unicorns? They may not know, and then you'll look like a genius. Hey, for a price, I'll sell you my personal experience that you can use. For a low, low price.

For ruining my parlay. It's like when Kramer sold his stories to Jay Peterman. So I am known for borderline sociopathic behavior, but let me tell you about the beginning of our lunch today, and I'll let you judge whether or not what was displayed towards Skid, Joseph, and myself was the work of a sociopath. We were in Lake Geneva for the past two days, Skid, Joe, and myself, checking out GaryCon. Holy shit, what a good time and myself, checking out GaryCon. Holy shit, what a good time.

Who's been to GaryCon? My god. Yeah, wonderful time. My man, somebody came down from GaryCon today. Offer to carpool, nobody talk it! Anyways, great time there. I showed up for five minutes, walked around the exhibition hall,

then I came back for the parties. But they played a, what, four and a half hour, AD&D second edition game? With Eric Mona, yep. We were, Skid and I were members of the circle of eight. Yes fighting Vecna. We were 20th level wizards. Yeah Played big be I was big Every round I was like what hand can I use now? Yeah, it was awesome I was nice tool and it was it was really great. It was amazing. It was very fun.

Yeah, it was so much fun. At the party later that night, Luke Gygax was there. We'd become a little friendly with him. They were telling him, I got to play Bigby, and he just immediately dropped knowledge that I'd never heard about the beginnings of Bigby. Basically, his dad had, there were these things called the henchmen. Henchmen, right? There were the rules of old D&D. Yeah. The dungeon master picked the names of the henchmen. So this one dude got henchmen and he gave them shitty names.

And so- It was Huey, Dewey, and Louie. Huey, Dewey, and Louie. And the guy was like, I don't want my henchmen called that. So when that guy was the DM picking Gygax's henchmen, he named them like Schmigsby, Wigsby, and Bigsby. Right. And Bigsby was the one who said hey.

Bigsby was the only one that did. Just a really cool time. So we stayed on a little too late and enjoyed some of Milwaukee's best. And so we knew we weren't gonna make lunch, which originally was gonna be at the Great Lakes Distillery, but when I woke up this morning, I said to Joe, we can't go to the distillery

because I'm never drinking again. And so I texted the group text and I was like, let's do, I moved lunch to this place called Black Sheep. It looks great. It's really good. It was fucking awesome. Yeah, it's great. And then Joe takes a 45 minute shower and we're late.

And I text, they say, you know what? It's gonna be 12.30. It's gonna be 12.30. Okay, thumbs up emojis left and right. We show up at the bar. 12.28. 12.28, on time. And these two young ladies are sitting at the bar already eating with their second round

of drinks. You told us when we were already out you changed the time. We're supposed to spend 30 more minutes at the Bobblehead Museum? There's only so many bobbleheads. The hotel is three minutes from the bar. In my defense, we went up to the bar and we're like, we'll just wait, casual. The bartender saw me eyeing a beer. She said, what, this old thing?

Why, that's our pickle beer. And I was like, oh. Oh no. No escape. Okay. And apparently they do a fun thing too that was like, you know, the Bloody Mary's here, you get a sidecar. Amazing.

Wish they did that in New York, that rocks. He or she was like, if you really want that pickle beer, I can give you a little baby Mary sidecar. And I was like, what? Yes. So we had the full accoutrement and a little baby Bloody Mary with the best parts, AKA the food. And I was like, huh, round two, baby. And then they walked in and I was like, fuck. Yeah. You forgot to mention you had a fist full of poutine. Yeah, a platter of poutine. You got to mention, yeah, you had a platter this big of poutine.

We're growing girls. Yeah, we needed the poutine. Were you still planning on eating with us? Yeah, and we did. And then we said, oh, this is great. We closed down at the bar and we moved to the table with you and we had a lovely lunch where we talked about making Matthew's character shit himself.

Yeah. Sounds great. Yeah, it was great. We had a lot of fun. We put Joe in this. We basically all sat in a place where by the time they came to the bar, they couldn't sit next to each other. We're like, we need to split the bar.

I feel like this is, I'm going to pose a question though for you guys. It feels like a first date thing. You get there early. Do you order a drink before your date arrives like is it so wrong and you order a giant plate of poutine before? That is sociopath behavior You know your friends are coming in minutes to eat I'm sorry. Did I let you have some of the poutine it was delicious Very very glad you of the poutine it was delicious

Very glad you ordered the poutine Well, it was nice nice having in there Matthew you missed a delightful brunch sounds fun. Yeah, what'd you what'd you have on the plane? Hey, they are I was in comfort plus Yeah, so I asked for a drink me and the guy next we were like, can we get a drink? And then she was like, oh yeah. And then they didn't have anything but wine. We said, okay. So I said, okay, can I have a wine? And she was like, yeah, I have to go up to the front

to get it, let me do that. And we were like, no rush. We never got our wine. Oh no. Oh no. That's the whole point of Comfort Plus. I know. Comfort minus.

We were getting off the plane, the guy sitting next to me turns to me and goes, we never got our wine. Wait a minute. Let's storm the cockpit. Our pilot was maybe conservatively 24 years old. Wow. At the end of the flight, I was like, oh my god.

This old man from First Class goes, nice landing. He commented on the guy's landing. The pilot was like, thanks very much. Yeah, it was real fun coming in in a snowstorm. The plane was like this all the way down. But we're here and we're so glad to be back in Milwaukee. Thank you guys for coming out tonight. Good crowd, good people.

I wish we had more time here. But we're going to make the most of the time that we have. Are you ready for part three of Ascension? Yeah! Yes! Yes! So, what I'll often do when I'm procrastinating slash trying to get in the mood to write

is I'll just start writing a recap. And then the recap will get like whittled down by the time we go to the show to the point where I can kind of look at and kind of talk whatever I started writing the recap and I was like I'm gonna skip that I gotta skip that I gotta skip that I was skipping a bunch of stuff and it was three and a half pages long and I'm like I'm not doing a recap it was a transcript of the first two episodes there's a lot going on now thankfully my players have most likely relistened to the first two episodes. There's a lot going on. Now thankfully my players have most likely re-listened to the last two episodes. I know Joe very diligently put his fucking AirPods on at two in the morning,

reeking of bourbon last night. What can I say? Your jamming puts me to sleep. Wow. Ice cold. What can I say, your jamming puts me to sleep. Wow, ice cold. You're welcome. Kill him. So I hope you know what's going on. I don't want to talk about it too much, but long story short, our characters who have

now met and spent some time together, they stopped a ram, a loose ram attack, and they then re-killed that undead ram and now they've kind of banded together. A lot is going on. The new Baroness has vomited black bile around the same time when this sacrificial ram was raised from the dead. She is like sequestered. They say she's doing fine. She has no memory of what's going on. But the captain of the guard, a dwarf by the name of Barvis Tonk, pulls Killian aside, Joe's character,

and is like, hey, there's a lot going on right now. Let's start with what we know. Go into the Mistwood. This is the forest that is bordering the northern edge of this town of Rosewood Vale. Go in there, see if you can find anything about what may have happened to give this ram this power to rise from the dead. Is there something infecting it?

Go there because this is where we caught the ram. See what you can see. So our new heroes go into the forest, start exploring, and luckily they've got a character by the name of Oswin with them. A professional hunter, a ranger. Yeah, and actually the thing is, I'm not really optimally-specced for this kind of thing, like tracking and nature stuff. It's not really, like, he is trained, but it's he's not great at it His skills lie elsewhere Hmm, but it's just like he's still better than any of us, right, right? And he's just trying to make a living so it's just like he's he's doing it

But like he it's not his best skill. I'll say that am I the only one that feels really good having skid playing Archer again That just feel right? I'm really excited because I also I thought of like something like a an element of his of his backstory that got me very excited today I was telling you about and I'm even more excited now so yes I'm also very happy. I told my son and I said Skid plays an and he goes, oh, that's my name. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. I also, I missed, because we used to cast our characters,

and I missed those days. But my dream was always to play an archer, and cast the character with Anne Archer. Because I think you could have so much, like Abba and Costello, like what's your character, it's like it's Anne Archer. It's like, oh, it's Anne Archer,

so he is an archer, or she is an archer it's like super who she played by an archer which one yeah that could go on for like five six minutes I'm trying to find out yeah that's what I'm trying to find out you know I'm just gonna play it on the video right now. That looks fun. Let's do that. Put that 18 minute vaudeville bit on. So they go into the mistwood and they find this carcass of a ram or a yew on the edge of a small lake and it looks mutilated. Horrible. And as they approach this carcass, they are all sort of infused with this energy

that makes them see everyone around them as their enemy. Some of them are able to use their will to withstand this effect, but others not so much. And they start attacking each other. Luckily, I think it was your character, Andromeda, uses a hydraulic push to push the carcass into the water. Brilliant move. It sinks to the bottom. Your proximity to this haunt goes away and you regain your senses. You start to take the lay of the land and you see what looks like a monument or a statue,

like a little piece of it sticking up out of the lake. Kilian swims over to it and looks and he's like yelling back to Shor, he's like it's a it looks like a statue of maybe a woman, her head's missing, she's holding a shield and a sword and I think it was Helena who was like that sounds like a statue of Iomidae and it is emanating this desecration aura. So that's where we ended our last sesh or sesh-zoni depending on where you're from. If you're not into the whole brevity thing. We're gonna open our show today with a little flashback to the past. You got some cool flashback music, O'Brien? I don't know anything about the flashback.

I don't know where it's set. I don't know the mood. Is it nice? Is it bad? Is it in like a 90s nightclub? It's set in a cyberpunk carnival. Oh wow, okay. Cyberpunk carnival.

Just hit that button. Robot, robot clown. You can search robot clown. I'll have to work on some of the effects, but I think we can kind of get a little cyberpunk vibe going pretty quickly. Yeah, this feels right. There we go.

Perfect. No, something that's just maybe calm, but with like a little sense of dread underneath. Oh, that's what we do best. So like the normal humming in my brain. Yes. Do you have Kate's inner monologue? Calm with a little sense of dread under the jawn.

Got it. I didn't say jawn, but okay. I think I'll have a spotted cow. This stuff is delicious. I can't say John, but okay. Think I'll have a spotted cow. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! This stuff is delicious. Shout out to Alex, who brought us some delicious beer. Thank you, dude.

That's a twist. Thank you. Oh, there you are. Thank you, dude. Yeah, my man! So awesome. This is not a twist. You're teasing me.

Oh no, Kate. Oh, oh, oh! Kate has the bottle opener. Oh, sweet. Kate? Everyone watch, and then I'll do my flashback. Wait, it's your flashback? Yeah, it's mine.

We see a GM sitting by a laptop, sitting in his hotel room, desperately trying to come up with a story. Why did I have that fourth bourbon? The sound of a cyberpunk carnival raises. In this flashback to the past, we see Rosewood Vale, but it is the beginnings of the town of Rosewood Vale. There's maybe a few small houses that are being built, several others in various states of construction. It's like a windmill half finished along the river and the foundation of a new keep is under construction. You see several laborers digging into the hilltop where

this new castle will stand, clearing out the ruins and hauling up these large stones to build a new foundation. A lower third on the screen says 28th of Aridus, 4801. The man we saw at the beginning of our story, who we now know is Lord Percival Montrose I, has gathered together a group of townsfolk. Killian you are there. Helena you might even be there. Barvis Tonk is there. The dwarf who is now the captain of the guard in the present age under Lord Montrose the second. And Lord Montrose the first addresses the group. He says, my friends, our little village is growing and flourishing by the day before our very eyes. We are truly blessed. The light of Sidonna ideally would be enough to keep us safe from any harm, but the realities of

the world we live in make it necessary for us to take other precautions. For now that we have something, there may be others that covet it and try to take it away from us. So we must be ever vigilant. I believe that we should take the most able among us, yes, and put together a town guard, okay? Now, while there may be many capable fighters among you

who will be assigned to positions within this unit, I've actually asked one of our newcomers to lead this charge, to train you, and prepare you for the worst, though I hope we never have to face it. I'm sure some of you have met Sir Calvin, the Nightblade, in this big fucking night. Steps up. This like, hulking dude. Is he Dark Souls boss? No, he's not a Dark Souls boss. But he's like, you know, an NBA center height and just wide, built like. Christaps for Zingas. Back to Christaps. The unicorn.

Yes, he's got several strap-ons hanging from his full plate. What a horrible image. Sorry. Don't apologize. Be yourself. I thought I took those off. Before the town meeting. Tucks them back into his armor.

This is hardly inappropriate for Calvin. That's why they call him the Nightblade. That's right. Sir Calvin the Third. He belongs to the Order of the Unicorn. The Order of the Unicorn. It's a long story. The Order of the Purple Unicorn.

He, maybe he was handsome at one point, but his face is pretty scarred. You can tell he's a man that's been in a lot of battles. He's the perfect man to train a unit. So this towering knight steps forward and Lord Montrose says, as some of you may know, Ser Calvin comes to us from the former Knights of Lastwall. When their order disbanded many years ago, Sir Calvin was left to roam the land, a knight without a home, in search of a cause, and then he puts his hand on the knight's shoulder and in search of himself. Was he Deadpool all of a sudden? Yet another gift that Cydana has bestowed upon us because her light has entered Sir

Calvin's heart and he has pledged his service to our banner. And Lord Montrose then pulls out a piece of cloth with the symbol of Cydana on it, similar to the one that we see Sir Norval wearing years later, and he puts it around Sir Calvin's neck. Sir Calvin bows, unsheathes his massive great sword, takes a knee, and offers the sword to Lord Montrose. Lord Montrose takes it, places the blade on Sir Calvin's shoulders, and says, in Cydonna's name, you are now cleansed of your past life as Sir Calvin the Nightblade. I hereby dub thee the Dawnblade, the first knight of Cydana, and hands the sword back to him,

as everyone looks on with awe. Maybe as you're in this lake, Kilian, you're brought back to this moment for some reason. You remember this Hulking night the first night of Sidon who began training Warriors to guard the town that your wife and children now call home along with you So how long ago was this about 33 years ago? 33 years ago.

So he's dead, the guy's dead probably, right? What's the life expectancy for people in this time? Depends on your ancestry. 35, 36. This town is getting cultier and cultier. We're getting new names, cleansed of our past lives, have to sign over our savings accounts. It's religion, man. We all own time shares. It's weird. It feels like a cult. We have to call you Vanguard backstage.

Soon they will all call me Vanguards. You would know, if you want some backstory lore here, that Sir Calvin was part of a group of ambassadors, emissaries, that the former Lord Montrose sent into Ustalov. When the Crown of Mendev continually ignored Lord Montrose's pleas to be recognized, they decided, well, what if we go south? We're close enough to the border. Maybe Ustalav will recognize us and will secede from Mendev and join them. This group of ambassadors and knights went out there and they were attacked in the Tusk Mountains by a roving band of orcs. And there was only one survivor who ran back to town and told the story. But for some reason you're thinking about this as you look at this statue. What do you do? Let's go to the map. For some reason you're thinking about this as you look at this statue.

What do you do? Let's go to the map. The map on Foundry Virtual Tabletop. On Foundry Virtual Tabletop. Virtual Tabletop! You didn't even load it, did you? No. No, I just do the bare minimum, Troy.

I know. Look at that map. Ooh. There it is. So there's Killian Dawnwall inside of the statue. Yeah, I don't know. Why did... I don't know why it makes him think of this memory. Whatever happened to Sir Kelvin?

He was killed by a roving band of orcs. So the person who survived was... So they say. Who was the person who survived? Yeah, who was the survivor? Another knight named Sir Leamon Quince. And Sir Leamon Quince is now Sir Norval's commander. I thought that was Sir...

That was Barvis Tonk. Barvis Tonk is the captain of the guard. You are a member of the guard. But the order is that if you've joined the Knights of Sidonah, your technical knight superior is Sir Leamon Quince. It's a lot of NPCs, man. What's his name? Leamon Quince. You should know, man, he's your superior. Stop being weird.

He's gonna swim cautiously away from it. Well it's funny because right as you try to swim, you feel something around your ankle. At first it feels like maybe there's a vine or some sort of root of a tree that wriggled its way under this lake and you're like caught on it. But as you try to pull your leg free, you feel fingers and a hand around your leg. But that's not the strangest part because at the same time that you feel that- I hope something weird doesn't happen now.

This is normal, but if anything else happens, that's weird. A cyberpunk carnival lands on the lake. You're standing there and your head is above water, and this is all happening simultaneously, but even though your head is above water, you start to feel like you're drowning. In fact, all of you start to feel like you're drowning, even those of you standing on the shore! Roll for initiative. Jumping right in, I see. Roll, rick, a roll. If Nick was here, he'd sing it. Guaranteed. Everybody got their caps? Remember, you all start with one cap once you dab that cap. Roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, You won't believe us. I forgot my desk.

She brought them. I brought them to the state. I left them in the hotel. Anyone can bring them to the state. But I found this wrench on our table. So for now, this might be Mark's, who helps set up the stage. This wrench will now be my- Is that your wrench?

Is this your wrench, Mark? This will be my bottle cap. How about you just take a bottle cap? You're giving me dice? She has dice, I gave her dice. No, no, no, stop. Aw, thank you, Matthew. Oh my gosh. Look at him.

He's as beautiful as a unicorn. He's taking care of me. She doesn't need Joe's dice anymore. Thanks, Matthew. As giving as a unicorn. He's taking care of me. She doesn't need Joe's dice anymore. Thanks, Matthew. As giving as a unicorn. Thanks. Thanks, mom. As well equipped as a unicorn.

Thanks. These are really pretty. Thank you. You're welcome. You're still going, huh? You just give them out one by one? This is a show. No.

Stop watching. How's the show? Well, Matthew handed out dice for me. Wow. Wow. Matthew came over to help me with a few dice. Joe instantly closed his... Wow. Oh wow. This is a mess. This is a mess. Oh dear. Matthew has dropped the dice off the stage. He's chucking them into the audience.

Someone got hit in the eye. There's a woman being taken out of the stretcher if you're listening at home. What else do you need? This is fine, thank you. I don't know what else I have. I mean the thing is he saws a pile of dice over here by his station. You can just give her the whole bag. Oh I like the big one, thank you. That's enough for me. I'll leave that one alone. Perfect. Anyway, this wrench will be my bottle cap to keep me honest. How do we know that you dapped it? I'll just open it back up. So I'll close it.

All right. That's fair. Good answer. It's good. We're having a good time. What'd you roll with your wrench? Oh, fuck. A seven. A 15. All right. I'll give you a second. You sure? Yeah. Joe looked over my shoulder.

I didn't see. I don't see bonus. I don't see numbers. I don't know. 15? I don't see numbers. I just see dice. 15 for the Wrench Queen.

Rich in friendship. Thank you, Matthew. Joe, what did you roll? 27. 27. 27. 27. 27.

27. 27. 27. Rich in friendship. Thank you, Matthew. What did you roll? 27. 27. Good start from Killian. Yeah, he's like, what the fuck? It just like, moves so fast. What about Helena? Helena or Helena? Helena. Helena. I should have known that.

Helena. Helena of Troy. Oh, okay. 12. I don't should have known that. Helena. Helena of Troy. Oh, okay. 12. I don't think she knows anything's wrong. She's not in the water. She's used to being choked. All right. All right. Don't encourage her. Wow. Sir Norval the Pious. 22. Night of Sedona. And Oswin. Also got a 27. By the way, I want to apologize.

The audio on my computer is broken. It's been broken. That's why I don't have the drops. And I took it in to be fixed. They're like, we can't fix this. So I have to take it back. But for tonight and tomorrow, no drops. Hopefully they'll be fixed by then whenever the next...

You should just do them vocally. Yeah. I'll say, yeah. I'll say, all right. All right. You've been... You've been... That distracts...

All right. Then we're going to kick off round one here. We're going to begin the encounter... Question mark? With old... Question mark? With old dong wall. Now, here's the thing, I mentioned to you that you felt as if water was entering your mouth

that you couldn't breathe, yet you have yet to be pulled under the surface. Give me a fortitude save. Fortitude save. Okay. Troy's been talking like Jiminy Glick for like the last couple of days, and I don't know why.

Give me a fortitude save. Like, true. Whenever Jiminy Glick comes on, I watch. Yeah, that was the same. Same. Before I roll this fortitude save, I met some very lovely people in the VIP meet and greet before the show by the name of Luke and Mary.

Luke and Mary. Oh, I met them! Thank you, Luke and Mary. Let me tell you a little story. About Luke and Mary. Nice. Nice. It's my job.

What would they say about that in the writers' room? He didn't get to warm up. I thought I was... I thought that was very lovely. And on key. Well, they came to me and they mentioned a very important point, which is in all the work that we do, to warm up. I thought that was very lovely. And on key. Well, they came to me and they mentioned a very important point, which is in all the work that we do, we always have to keep in mind safety first. So before I roll any dice, Sydney, these are for you.

Thank you, Luke and Mary. Thank you, Luke and Mary. Thank you, Luke and Mary. The only one looking out for me, it's you guys. I am terrified to sit next to you. I saw the GIF on Reddit, I gotta say, whoever made that. So fucking funny. Slow-mo GIF, look it up if you haven't seen it. It looks so terrible in slow motion.

And the funniest thing is- Your head just snaps back. My head snaps back. I go through a range of emotions. Like I just got shot. Like I don't know what happened. Meanwhile, it takes Joe to so long to realize that there's no longer a die in his hand.

Like a dog with object permanence. Like he opens his hand, he goes, huh? And then he looks over and goes, oh! So funny. All right, please roll. It truly was the magic die. It was incredible. Natural fucking 20.

Oh! Oh! Oh! Let's go! Critical threat, critical threat, critical threat! Hell yeah. She's got you, she's got you! Oh! Critical threat, critical threat! Hell yeah! Cheesehead Joe! Cheesehead Joe!

Cheesehead Joe! Cheesehead Joe! I'm back, baby! Cheesehead Joe! Cheesehead Joe! Cheesehead Joe! Cheese-Curd Joe. What are the, uh, what happens on a critical success track? Everything seems to be just fine. Okay.

That feeling of drowning, of being unable to breathe, it goes away, at least momentarily. You don't know if it was in your head, tied at all, perhaps, to this memory, but there is something grabbing at your leg! Okay, then I'm just gonna go natural reactions here. He's just gonna kick. He's kicking and trying to swim away from whatever is grabbing him. He doesn't believe he's I guess I could look as well Looking down and kicking and flailing toward the shore. Okay, no, this is like my real-life nightmare I grew up going to the shore grew up going to the beach and let's swim it in the ocean and Anytime something you can't see touches your ankle, touches your legs,

or whatever, I would just be like, and just like run out of the water and need like two hours of just like before I'd go back in. Dude, you ever watch Creature for the Black Lagoon? No. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I think of when I think of like being grabbed underwater. Creature Double Future. Grabbed underwater. We should screen that. Creature double feature. That's a good idea. Should call Igerida for that. All right, so you look down into the water.

Obviously the water is all, it's moving, so you can't, it looks like there's like someone down there grabbing at you. That is insane. Okay, then he is going to, as an action, I'm going to, now I don't feel like I'm drowning, I'm gonna stick my head under the water and do a seek action, see if I can see what this is

or what this person is. Awesome. Oh no. I'll let you roll it. Okay. That is a 24 perception. Alright, so this is insane. You look down there and under the water,

you see this. Oh! What is happening on his stomach? You see this creature that's bloated. Oh, shit. His stomach is coming out over its belt. It's got a gash across its chest and it's just like reaching up to you.

It looks like it has a rusted old sword in the other hand, but it's just grabbing at you. This is Sir Calvin. Yeah, this is him. This is Sir Calvin. It's a night blade. The air is like, you know, all stringy underwater and it's just looking at you with dead eyes.

Oh my god. Alright, I'm going to do an escape attempt. Is that a thing? Am I grappled right now? You're not grappled, no. You just felt the brush of something against you. Alright, seeing this, I'm going to attempt to swim to shore. So I'm going to start swimming.

Unless you say otherwise. Okay, you start swimming. Gaten, just give me an athletics check, just in terms of the distance that you'll be able to cover as you are swimming in combat, Joseph O'Brien. I'm not sure how this is gonna go. I've never done this before. Let's see how it works.

I took assurance in athletics. Oh. So I'm gonna go with the result of a 16 on this. Let's read the text for swim so maybe we can learn together and we'll read the last sentence as well for a change. Let's shake it up in Milwaukee. Little New Year's Res. Let's read the last sentence.

Shut up. You attempt an athletics check to move a maximum distance of 10 feet through water. The GM determines the DC. Awesome. Based on the turbulence or danger of through water. The GM determines the DC, awesome, based on the turbulence or danger of the water. In most instances of calm water, you get an automatic critical success. If your land speed is 40 or higher or it's not,

increase the maximum possibility of that. If you end in your turn, your water must be seen as a very high pot. All right, so what did you roll? 16. Did you read the last, did you? I can't do it. Did we ever go wrong?

That's not important. Well. Okay. Noted. Okay. If you end your turn in water and haven't succeeded at a swim action that turn, you sink 10 feet or get moved by the current,

there is none. This doesn't apply if your last action on your turn was to enter the water. So, what did you roll? 16. You move through the water. 10 feet. 10 feet. Maximum of 10. Maximum of 10. Boom. That's 5 feet and then 10 feet. Okay so you're going in the direction of the shell. And then I will do that again. This would be my third action. To get on the land, I will, if you need another athletics, check another 16.

I'd say now you're at the shore, you can stand, you can just get out. Okay, he said, there's something in the water! That was terrible. That sounded like dog- What was that? It sounded like dog- Something in the water!

Something in the water! Hey, no, no! What the fuck was that? Adrian! Yeah, he just comes out, there's something down there. It's a creature! And he's just like panickingly backing away and grasping at his sword on his back.

But he's out of actions. But I am going to move a little bit off the shore, stumble back a little bit, next to Helena. Okay, sweet. It's Oswin's turn. Oswin, this is tricky. He points down there and you don't see anything from where you're standing in this murky lake. It's Osmond's turn. Osmond, this is tricky. He points down there and you don't see anything

from where you're standing in this murky lake. But I'm potentially drowning, right? Oh, I'm sorry, yes. Where are you standing? Oh yes, you're dying. Oh yes, I forgot you're dying. So go ahead and give me a Fortitude save. Thank you for being honest. Oh, natural 17. That is a 26. Cool. Thanks for ruining my encounter.

So you have that momentary gasping for breath and then it goes away and you hear him say, water, there's something in the water! There's something in the water! The water! There's something in the water! The water changed his accent! What the fuck? Don't go in there! I'm gonna just... I'm gonna just move away from the water

as it says, like off the map probably. I'm just gonna like back away. Like he's spooked. He's like freaked out by this momentary sensation and he just gets away from the water. Sorry Skid, you are off the map. That is not allowed. Like a video game with an invisible boundary.

You just walk into air and don't move. It's like the Truman Show. It's just a door. Just a door in the sky. You wave and you leave. Sir Novel the Pask, give me a fortitude save and please fail it. I'll do my best. No! save and please fail it. I'll do my best.

No. Matthew your best is so good. It's a natural one. You gonna dab that cap? Nah. Okay. Wow. Okay. It is early. The night is young. It's early. I've got all these rounds.

Alright, so. It's a very strange feeling. You're standing on the shore, you're watching this all go down, there's this panic, and you feel as if your lungs are filling with water. You aren't able to speak or breathe. Whoa. Okay? So you're essentially holding your breath. And if you look at the drowning and suffocation rules,

things could get bad. You can hold your breath for a number of rounds equal to five plus your con mod. I abbreviated to save time. Reduce your remaining air by one round at the end of each of your turns, or by two if you attacked or cast any spells that turn. You also lose one round worth of air each time

you are critically hit or critically fail a save against a damaging effect. If you speak, including casting a spell, you lose all remaining air. What do you do? Raise shield. What do you do? Raise shield.

Does that cost me air to do that? No, you're not attacking or casting a spell. I will raise shield and I will ready an action to strike if an enemy comes within range. Fair. Give me another Fortitude save. Wow. Why? Stop making shit up.

You get a new save at the end of your turn. Natural 17. Okay. So... 28. You are very fortuitous. Yes. You're normal. And now you can breathe normally.

Ah, nice. Everything turned out better than expected. Or did it? Because emerging from the lake, right next to Helena. No, that's Andromeda. That's Andromeda. Andromeda, oh, even better. No.

Is this, motherfucker, it comes out second action, long sword at your chest, natural one. Oh! He's so stupid! Choice gonna roll, choice gonna roll. You're totally screwed! All right. Dravid holds up her spell book. Poop! Poop! Ha ha ha!

Please kill him, please kill him. All right, this one from Alexander Dogperson in Milwaukee. Is Alexander here tonight? No, what a beautiful name. Oh boy, okay, don't, dammit, wish Skid could read this. I have a feeling this is from our good buddy, Sir Alfred, or Alfie. Oh.

It's, the title is, Sin Awfully Nice Rock, Uncle. Oh. Reeling back to strike, suddenly all of your attention is drawn to an object at your feet. Losing sight of the moment at hand, you drop your weapon and pick up the rock.

Wow, right? Right at the water's edge. Exactly where Alfie found Doris. Yeah. Oh my gosh. It weighs 15 pounds. It's a real beauty. Roll a will save.

Oh my gosh, I found a river rock. It's probably so flat and smooth, just like Doris. Pick flat rock, uncle. So what do I roll? A will save. The DC is Andromedas class DC. Crush it, 27. Well, we need to know if it's a critical success.

I don't think so. Where's that? Probably not, right? Probably not. Let's just say it's not. That's not it. I'm looking. On a success, you realize how silly you've been and you throw the rock as one action

or drop it as a free action. But if you throw it, you can actually do damage. Okay. So I dropped my sword. You dropped your sword and now you have... And picked up a rock. Yep. This stupid guy is sitting there holding a rock.

He skips it across the leg. Okay. Yeah, he's just dropped it. stupid guy sitting there holding a rock. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr First action second action missed with a critical failure his sword is now at his feet and he just goes to like grasp at Andromeda. Andromeda buck up. I took the map. Don't you worry about the map? That is a dirty dirty 20 Yeah I'm just a girl in small robes Thanks for gonna just an apprentice. I'm just an apprentice. I said a couple things are gonna happen.

Wait, a dirty 20 beats your forager DC? No, it's her AC. No, my AC. I thought he was grabbing it. Get back on the plane. Grabbing, wait, wait. No, he's just attacking. Just attacking. It's flavor.

You take 10 points of bludgeoning damage. What, you punched me as you grabbed me? Just socked you like Joe Louis. Joe Louis? Now give me a fortitude save. Like Max Schmeling. It's rotten hand, like left a residue on you. You gonna dab that wrench? No. Classic dab the wrench. Are you gonna screw that wrench

closed? Screw that wrench? I'm scared. Look at me. I'll say the number and by your facial expression I'll decide if I should dab it. 14? Screw that wrench. Okay. The crowd says screw that wrench. SCREW THAT WRENCH! The crowd says screw that wrench! I'm not screwing that wrench today! 14. Everything seems just fine with a 14. In fact, you feel very good. Hold on one sec.

However, why? Why am I holding on? Because that might trigger something for me. Oh, I can't remember if I took the speed or not. Oh, how nice. You should definitely stop the show. Yeah, really grind. Well, it could make a difference to your life, Joe.

So shut up. Was that a spell? No. No, it was like a disease. Okay, that's what I figured. How do readied actions work in this situation? It's not a, this would not be a readied action. It'd be a reaction?

It'd be a reaction. It's a disease that you've definitely contracted. Oh no. Gross. I can't remember. I'm gonna move on with my life, Matthew. I think I don't have it. You're ruining the company.

Thank you for trying. Everything is about to get a lot worse because emerging from the water Oh no. No. is a second one. Oh my god. Oh my god.

Mmm. Oh. And it comes up to Sir Novelty Pierce. And it tries to Pierce. Pierce. Tries to swing its long sword at you. Come on. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. No, I will de-peace. And it tries to... De-peace? It tries to swing its longsword at you. Come on! He's going to interrupt you right now.

Oh yeah. That's right. Poop! Wait, you're starting your turn? This is my reaction. He had a ready action. Don't raise your voice. Natural 3. 14.

Nope. Let's see if my, I'm gonna roll, I got this lovely D20. Who gave me this D20? This beautiful D20 right there. This one's for you. And if it sucks, you can have it back. Here we go with the long sword. Boom sauce. I didn't know you could roll hundreds on a d20. Oh my god. It's a hundred and eleven to hit.

It's full of liquid. It's going to be, I don't know if it's going to be good or not. This is a 22. Miss. Wow. A shield. So smart. So smart. Off the shield with its long sword, and then it strikes at you again with the map and misses.

End of its turn. Andromeda Quinn, give me a fortitude save. No! Okay. All right, let's see. Andromeda. Andromeda. Okay. No! No!

I'm going to do it! I tap the cap! What did you roll? I rolled a natural four. Oh, okay. Yeah, I don't think that would be great. Alright. Okay.

Can't be wor- Oh no! It's worse! I rolled a natural one. Oh no. The dice go rumble, the tubba dee dumble, bad bumble! But it's not. So it's just bad. It's just bad.

That was still fun. We're having fun. Awesome. All right. So you can't breathe motherfucker. You, you feel like you're drowning. You feel like water is entering your lungs. Is this a spell? No!

Okay. Get ready for this the whole campaign. This is completely mundane. Yes, this is totally normal. Totally normal drowning on land. They call it land drowning. Alright, so remember if you cast a spell, or attempt to cast a spell because you can't speak, you're going to, you might suffocate and die and then you'll have to roll up a

new character. Yep. So what do you want to do? I roll a new Fortitude save on my turn, start of my turn. For at the end of your turn. At the end of my turn. Yes. Okay. I am going to tuck my spell book under my arm and take the man's sword from the ground.

You're taking the man's sword? Oh wow. Yeah. Can you even lift it? Excuse me! It's a... It's your honest question. It's your honest question.

Shush over there and eat your pickle. Alright. She goes, alright. She's not complaining. It's your honest question. Shush over there and eat your pickle. All right. I'd like. All right. She's not complaining. Yeah, I would like to first action, pick up the sword. OK, weird. And second action.

Touch that rock. Second action, I need to move away. OK. I don't want to get opportunity attacked. I don't know if they have. Take a five foot step. Yeah, but yeah. That's the only way to do it if you're afraid of that. Okay, second action. I'm going to throw the sword into the water.

Great. Hell yeah. You know, you don't want me to? Yeah, do it. Well, just for the record, by the book, I would think that would also provoke. Yeah, manipulate. But I still think it's a fucking great idea.

I also think it's so in line with her character, it's just funny. It is funny. She can't do anything else. Get this, Altifute. Yeah. Yeah, I love the idea of the picturing of this is great. She just lifts this heavy sword, and she just goes,

ah! Oh, she can't talk. And yeets the sword as she feels like she's drowning. So I would like to do that. What is your con modifier, by the way? My con plus 2. Con plus 2. All right, so you get seven rounds before you die.

Possibly now six. So second action? He doesn't attack? Nope. Everything seems to be just fine. Third, I'm going to move away. Andromeda is going to run fully north, also off the map. She sees Oswin. She sees Oswin in the distance and she feels safe by him having his protection, so she runs up to the north. How far can you move? One more off the map.

Okay, boop, see ya. And she just keeps pointing to her throat, to Oswin. All right, now go ahead and give me another fortitude save. Okay, let's see. So you can shake out of this. Ooh. Thanks for the dice, Matthew. You can give them back. I will. In intermission I'm gonna give them back. That's a 12. That's a 12. That's a fail. Alright, so you have six rounds before you fall unconscious and start suffocating. Did you just delete her from the map?

Uh-huh. Jill saving myself time for later. Helena! Hey! Hey! Yeah. What do you want to do, pickle lady? I'm pretty sure I'm drowning as well.

Yeah, give me a fortitude save. So, how fortitudinous is a cleric? Hmm. Hmm. I heard someone just go, not merry. Dirty 20. Oh! Dirty 20, you're all right.

You're all right. Okay. Nice. You save off this feeling of water entering your lungs. Was that an action to do that? No. Okay. All right.

Save us. Great. Help us. Well, you're too far away. I don't even know where you are. I would like to try to do like a knowledge check of like at first this seemed like a haunt, but it doesn't. Like is there a way to make this stop outside of fighting them? Okay. Perhaps. Yeah. So just do a sort of a check on these guys. Maybe a little knowledge. Relige. Relige. A little relige.

Uh, ooh, 20. Is there any 20 again? 20, yeah. These seem to be some sort of like undead bog creatures. And this ability that they're using is something known as Breath of the Bog. If you begin your turn within the aura of this creature, within 30 feet basically, a 30 foot aura, you have to roll these saves

or you feel as if you're drowning. Wait, how deep is the water where they, like right at the shore? At the shore you could stand in the shore, it'd be up below your knees. Okay, so they're more like maybe weight bogs creatures. Oh boy. Ladies and gentlemen, Skidmar.

That's my man Ken. That's my man Ken out there's my man Ken out there. My best friend from college. We've been friends forever. I knew he'd appreciate that. I wish I saw it coming, but I didn't. We all walked like three steps into that one. I waded right into that.

Oddly enough, he drank. Wasn't it like 63 Miller lights that Wade Boggs drink We're in the town of Miller you have two actions left. What do you do? So I want to let everyone know that that's the case That if you and your term within 30 feet you're gonna have to do this and I'd like to try to cast Where is it? vitality lash One that is classic or next to certain or vo to try to cast, where is it, Vitality Lash. The one that is Nexus or Nexus or Norvo.

Next to that you need to roll a basic fortitude save please. Yeah, basic. All right. Getting rid of these dice. That's going to be a 23. Regular success. You're're gonna take half damage. Okay. And what kind of damage is this?

Vitality damage, duh. Oh wow. Wow. Four, four, four, vitality damage. Four, ooh. Yep. Really gave me what for? Round two! Killian Dawnwall. You passed your save right? You critically succeeded. So you don't need to

roll another save. What do you do, Dawnwall? When we last saw him he was panicking, backing up, grabbing at his sword. So he will draw this bastard sword. It's got these glowing runes on it. And he is going to move quickly to get into flanking with Sir Norval. Nice. Around this creature and then take one swing at this guy. There is one in between Sir Norval and I. So you try to slash at it. That is a 25 to hit. Off guard. That is an easy hit. Nice. Awesome.

Awesome. That was a lot. 24 points of slashing damage. As he two hands this bastard sword and That is the most damage you've done in the past year now. I feel amazing! Wow, that's really good. And that's three actions, right?

That was my third action. You can't draw while you walk, huh? No, it's always an action to draw. I was busy swimming. Oswin, you're off the map, but now there an action to draw. Okay. I was busy swimming. Oswin, you're off the map, but now there are targets for you. Yes, and I'm like 90 feet away. You're right there. Like I spent all three actions moving away.

Oh, really? So you're even further away. I'm very, very far away. Oh, okay, so you're not on the map. I'm off the map. But with his keen archers eye he is going to hunt prey on the creature closest to him The northernmost creature okay, and I'm gonna spend two actions on hunters aim

Which will let me ignore concealed and lesser cover cool 26 to hit. Woo! Hit! Oh, dude. Hit! Yeah, from off the map, out of nowhere. An arrow just...

15 points of damage. Oh! Nice! Hey, nice! Wow. And that's it. Nice. Nice.

That was awesome. Good turn. Alright, good round by Oswin Sir Norville. Your friends here are helping out. You succeeded on your second save, right? Yeah. So you're fine. OK.

I'm going to take a swing with the long sword. OK. Off guard. Off guard. Nady19 for a third. That's a 30 to hit. That's a critical hit. No!

Double Demagio. Demagio, dude. You're done. You're done. 28 points of damage. He had 27 hit points left. Oh! The Norville to the Pious!

Nice blood spot. Nice black. These things probably have fresh blood. Yep. Yep. All right, so then Sir Norville will take a step. Oh, not that probably have fresh blood. Yep. Yep. All right, so then Norville sir Norville will take a step Oh, not that way that way my body and he will stay he'll take his oh, you know what? No We don't know you don't know

Yeah, I'm gonna take the second attack. Okay, why not right? second attack because it's stupid I Was just always a funny answer your question, but you roll I didn't roll well 13 you step over the carcass of this first Undead creature and swing at the other one and miss and it's that creatures turn and swing at the other one and miss. And it's that creature's turn. It's that creature's turn. Oh yeah.

That creature does not have a fucking sword. So awesome. Cindy! Hell yeah. Yeah! Woo! Woo! Woo!

I've changed up my dice. I'm gonna punch you. Fuck me! Yes! Yes! Yes! Like this nice? Troy is switching out another die now. He's getting nervous.

He's getting nervous. He's sweating. His eyes are darting wildly. Why didn't I shave? Try it again. He's a shit dice in game. Alright, here we go, 20! Fuck! Woo!

What? Ah! And he goes back in the water and says I'm sorry I trapped you! You know what? My bad. I underestimated you. I overreached.

I'm just going to enjoy your day. I'm just gonna... Enjoy your day. I'm just gonna go back to my bar, breathe the vapors. I've been under here for a long time, I don't know why I picked today to attack. Goodbye. No, he just starts wading back into the water, like regrouping. And it is Andromeda Quinn's turn, but Andromeda Quinn, you still drowning? What was that?

You're still drowning? Give me a fort save. Okay. You're also off the map. I'm off the map just by one. All right, here I go. Oh, no. Look at, I added plus 90 feet.

Oh, nice. Dirty 20. Dirty, all right, you're fine. So she can breathe fine. Nice. So she can breathe again. Yes. Oh, oh. Not good.

Not good. She's giving like the not okay sign to her team. Not feeling great out here. I would like to do, hell yeah. I'm gonna do a lip. Damn it. Oh. Stupid. Actually, hell yeah. What is happening?

There's a roller coaster of emotions happening over there. Nobody understands. We are not privy to any of it. I feel like I'm at a cyberpunk carnival of some sort. That should be the title. Just be like, hell the hell happened in Milwaukee? Cyberpunk carnival. That's a little peek into my inner monologue. It sounds a bit like that.

Oh, fuck. Yeah. No. Fuck yeah. No. Okay. All right. I'm going to do my- I just love the idea of someone's inner monologue landing on, okay. Yeah. All right. I am going to cast, now that I can cast spells again, I'm no longer drowning. Animated Assault.

So she's going. Great choice. Great choice. Thank you, thank you. Do you mean that? No, I do. It's a great spell, I love that spell. So hard to tell. Sometimes Joe says stuff like that.

He never means it. No, I'm not. Yeah. That is entirely untrue. I always say, that's a bad idea. That's No, I'm not. That is entirely untrue. I always say that's a bad idea. That's true. That's true. I don't do passive aggressive.

That's so true. You're brutally honest. Yes, you do. Yes, you do. Yes, you do. You'd be like, great choice. Yeah. That's true.

That's ex- Great. That was a good Joe impression. All right. Animated assault. Hold the hand out. Range of 120 feet, 10 foot burst. 120, she's gonna whip around the rocks and stones and the water, the statue, whatever's loose,

it's gonna gather and it flies in a flurry, like around the creature. So make a basic reflex. Little reflex save? It's gotta have bad reflex, right? It's a zombie. It's like just a reflex. It's a lonely game. Oh, fuck. Just a, It's like just the reflex is a lonely game.

It's like waste. It's waste up out of the water and all this debris starts flying at it. Oh my god. What is wrong with my dice? 12. Oh, fail. Yeah, fail. So this will do two D10 bludgeoning. And this is sustained for a minute. So on subsequent rounds, the first time I sustain it,

it deals another one D10 bludgeon. You have to make a reflex save again. But all right. N-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n Such a dick. So rude. Like, just uncalled for. It's like a poster for how to not treat your players. It's like, oh, it's real? And then I do this awesome thing. Meh, meh, meh, meh. The GM's not having fun? No one's having fun.

So rocks and loose debris start flying at this guy in the water. It's a chaotic mess. 15 points bludgeoning damage. OK. Woo. 15 points of bludgeing damage. Okay. Woo! Woo! 15 points of bludge. A bludge.

Nice. So that is two actions. Okay. I'm gonna move closer to my group again. I'm a little too far away and I'm scared. So she's gonna move back down. Oh, I can't, because I'm off the map. Okay, wait here.

There's five, hold on. Here's five feet. Right, meow. Thank you, meow. down oh I can't cuz I'm off the map okay wait here there's five hold on here's five feet right now thank you now she is gonna move right above everybody keeping her distance from this creature in the water but that is her turn that's her turn Helena Helena does not want to let this undead abomination go. So she's gonna move up in line with Sir Norval and Killian. What? Just take your turn. Oh, hello.

Okay. That was one action. Yes, moving up. And then another vitality lash. Ba dum ba dum ba na na na na na na. Ba na na na. Nice. It's nice to be good. All right, so you're going to do another vitality lash. I'm going to do another vitality lash. First of all, I know. The internet, I know.

It was 3D6 and not 2D6. I rolled the extra one. I also added wrong, so it ended up being four the last time. So get off me. Wow. Wow. I read the rules, okay? DC 20, basic fortitude save.

It's rude to point. Don't tell him the DC, he'll lie. I'm sorry, I'm reading. 90, I rolled a 90. I'm used to reading now. He hasn't even rolled yet. 29. All right, that's still just a regular success.

It's called Rockscape. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Six points of vitality damage. Six points of vitality. Nice. Pew, pew, pew.

Pew, pew, pew. Does that trigger any weaknesses in the creature? No. Damn it. Round three. The witching round, as they say. No. Dammit. Round three. The witching round, as they say. The witching round. It's Killian Donwalt's turn.

Yeah, it turns towards Sir Norval. Don't let it get away. Don't let it run! And he, uh, I'm gonna drop my sword. It's on the ground. Okay. Ka-ting ka-ting. And he just pulls off his longbow an eagle comes by and takes it that's a priceless magic sword that was a huge eagle he rolled a very high he had been delayed for the last

the eagle goes out a longbow. The eagle delayed the first two rounds. And he's going to aim and try to fire an arrow at this thing. Draws this longbow back. Actually, shit. Rules are lame. You're inside the volley. Poop. He's inside the volley, so I will take a penalty to this,

but that's all right. That's okay. Just roll high. Just roll high. 20. Oh. Oh. With a penalty?

With the penalty. That's a hit. Nice. There we go. There we go. Three points of damage. All right. Yeah, you know, it's...

Longbow isn't his best. And then... Then his second shot. 17. Miss. Two arrows. And now a real archer. Fuck yeah. Alright, so he's going to continue to shoot at the one that he hunted prey on.

He'll continue to get that advantage. I think you hunted prey on the other one, does it matter? Oh, did it die? Yeah. Oh, OK. All right. Then he will hunt prey on the new, the other one. OK.

And he will do. I have no quarrel with you. Will. That's an arrow joke. They're not quarrels. They're arrows. No. Joke's on you. I have no arrow with you.

So is there a cover between me and it? Nah, you're good, man. Okay, then I will just do... I thought we were here to have fun. I will just do a hunted shot. Oh. First attack is a 21. Hit! Yes! There we go. Shit! Oh, it's winning. Oh, 19 points of damage. Oh my gracious!

I just want to say, Killian draws this arrow, fire, swank, 3 points of damage. From 120 feet further away. This arrow just wham! Right in the creature's head. Like, it's just amazing. And it's my wrong hand too. I'm not left handed. Alright, second shot. Uh, 21 again.

Wow! Amazing! Uh, 12 points of damage. Wow. Uh, and so with his third action, I think I'm going... I think you're done. I think you hunted prey. Right? Oh no, you're right.

You're right. So I'm done. All right. Nice. Big round by Oswin. Sir Norple, you taking a dip? Can I wait? Is the creature waiting?

Oh wait, wait, wait. No, no, no. I do have another action. Oh. Because that was hunted shot, so I get two strikes with one action oh So I do I do have a third action so I Stupid no no I was the hunt prey was still an action I didn't know if his character to shot with my hunt prey is one action hunted

Hunter hunted shot is to one two attacks. Two attacks. Nice. I have one action left. And yeah, I'm gonna just, this is not likely to hit, but I'm gonna try one more. 21. Get out of here. Get out of here.

11 more points of damage. Oh. Still up. Okay. I love that. I'm still fucking sight. So, so, so. 11 more points of damage. Oh. Still up. Aw. Boo. I'm still fucking sight. So, so, so. Just so amazing.

I missed this so much. So cool. So cool. Func, func, func, 120 plus feet away. Badass. This thing is like, fuck yeah. Ugh, as it's wading back under the water, perhaps gone forever. Sir Norval, the pie is his turn. Sir Norval, I just wanted to say, Yeah. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr until we see what happens with your animated burst? Sure. You can do whatever you want, but it's turn.

Oh. Next. Keeps it in the water. Well, you'll lose track of it if it goes underwater? Well, yeah, here's the thing. If it moves further away, I can't move my animated assault. Got it. It's, yeah.

Can I wade out to where it is, or do I need to be swimming at that point? No, man, you can wade. Also, I don't think anything bad happens to you if you get within the burst. It's literally animated to attack him as a target. No, no, no, no. The whole area is hazardous.

It's like... Oh, gotcha. Okay. Oh, yes, sorry. To each creature in the area. So if you enter into it, you will be attacked. The last five words of the spell. I trust...

It's actually in like the middle. I trusted my goddess. And I'm gonna move out. And I will swing with the longsword. All right, Sidonah's Light protect the... 19 to hit. Oh. AC. Really?

19. Oh, baby! 20 points of damage. Yeah! And the creature falls. Yes! Yes! The noble! Do damage. Yeah! And the creature falls. Yes! Sir Norville!

It's the knockout! While the blood's sweating tears. Cheers! Sir Norville, make a basic reflex. So sorry. 15. You take 2d10, bloodgenie. Oh no! Sorry. That's going to be... 15. Do you take 2d10 bludgeoning?

Oh no. Sorry. That's going to be... I can't believe I gave you a d10. 10 points bludgeoning. It's not the worst. It could have been much worse. 10 points of bludge.

Would you mind calling that off, please? Are we out of combat? You are officially out of combat. She will dismiss the spell. She just immediately apologizes profusely. I'm just a sword in the air. I didn't under... You just got like a black eye and a bloody nose. I didn't know that you would go into the water.

I was trying to kill it. As was I, but it's all right. The light of the goddess protects me. I'm going to get that sword though. Can I see if I can retrieve the sword that the creature I just killed was carrying? There's a sword on land too. We killed another one. Yeah, there's a sword up there. If you're detecting magic, you don't detect any magic on the sword.

In fact, I'll save you the time if you like any other magic out there. It's not a magical sword. Never mind. I'll leave it there. I'll wade back to the shore. And then I'll say, the light of the goddess protects us all. Might I call upon her services to heal some of my battle wounds? Oh, yes, of course. Okay. Medicine, medicine, medicine. Or the skills granted to your hands by the goddess, I should say. Yeah, sure.

Just ignore it, ignore it. Whatever that means. Just ignore it. Don't encourage them. Don't encourage them. Don't encourage them. Don't make a big deal about it. So, is that a critical success? Hold on, can I do math?

It's definitely not. Okay. Probably not, sir. That's it. Let me see. Seven. Oh, that's so big. 13 points of healing.

Your hands work. All hands work mighty well. And Ramadaba, you also hurt. Yes. Did anyone else get punched by the man with the heart, the stomach coming through? This dead? Did anyone else get punched? No. It grabbed me, but I don't think it broke the skin. Do you think I am feeling sick? Elena 12 do you think I am to be feeling sick? Um touch my head I don't know you get 12 points of healing does she have any well. It's funny

You should say that give me another fortitude save Well, it's funny you should say that. Give me another Fortitude save, Andromeda. Because I can also reduce some effects too with my Treat Runes that I just rolled. Well, this is all happening very quickly while you were busy using your hands on Sir Norville. Your Dirty 20. Just grab some dice here. Oh no. Oh stop.

You take 14 points of void damage. I thought I thought I just you heal her and then she was Oh, oh no, and your clumsy one. Oh, she drops her book for one day Oh, no, no, no, no. Oh, yes. Yes. Yes. Yes I'm gonna try to treat once again because if I roll a quit six crits success with one of my feats I can remove the clumsy clumsy condition. That's pretty she sits on the ground this is not going well for enthramers success so remove the clumsy condition thank you seven points of healing from that thank you is she still gonna be taking damage well this is very interesting I want to read this to you and then we'll have a little debate.

This affliction can't be reduced below stage one, nor can the damage from it be healed until it's successfully treated with cleansifiction or a similar effect. The affliction can then be removed as normal for a disease. And something horrible, which I will not read so I'm wondering if before you can even take it's daily I am worried about it because we age one is one minute stage two is one day so I'm in stage two you're at stage two well no you would get that damage and the clumsy one possibly cannot be removed until you remove affliction

Which we don't miss or a question right you have cleanse of lich I'm having opening I don't have third if I do but let me level spell. I'm trying to open that she can prepare tomorrow Okay, so you can't be healed until you're fine. I'll take I'll take back off the seven were you gave me zero you full otherwise no what no so she could you just can't heal the void damage right yeah yes but she healed me then I took the void I'm down from the void damage she healed me to full now I'm down again are you sure it's a rank three spell no it's ranked to okay so you could learn it tonight but think about it you're clumsy and this damage is lingering. I do have it. Okay, role play that.

Role play that. Role play that. Okay, um, so... She's been so sure of foot so far. I think I can help you, but it's going to have to be tomorrow. I need to prepare a few things. No, of course, that makes sense. You trip and fall.

Ow! Stop! My ankle! I twisted my ankle! I fell and... I fell and I twisted my foot. Okay, well... And my book hit me in the stomach! Ow!

Ow! She rolls over, she's covered in mud. Ow! Help me up! And she holds your hand. This is so hard for me. I don't normally come out here. There was a man with a sword.

He punched me. Now I am sick. I think I am dying. Andromeda, Andromeda. Yes? Would you like me to carry you? All the way back to the city? To the town?

I think we have to go forward. Our mission is not complete. We still stay here? Why yes, I do. She takes off her slipper. Does it look swollen? My foot? I couldn't say. Do you want me to carry you or not? I was unclear. All right then, I sweep you up like a baby. She holds her slipper and her book. Thank you. Perhaps you can tell me of the many things you learned and read in that book of yours.

Yes. As we walk along. Actually, I would like to do a check. Okay. On these creatures. Actually, I would like to do a check. On these creatures. Yeah, I'd also like to do checks. I'd like arcana, cultism, you tell me, but... Religion. Religion would probably be best.

Dirty 20. 21. 24. Dirty 20. 21. Mmm. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm The brothers can't deny. Uh, all right, so stupid. I had to explain to my lift driver on the way here where I was going. Oh no. We all do. I'll do now. Do you know Dungeons and Dragons? You could just lie.

Well, he was going to a business meeting. I'm a janitor. He was very he was very... Going to a business meeting. I was janitor. He was very midweds to a sex convention. It's a unicorn party. A unicorn convention. Do you know what unicorns are? Have you heard of a professional third?

Have you ever heard of Chris Stapp's porzingus? My luggage is mostly strap ons. Please get out of the car. All right, so let's say you drag one of these corpses, well, you drag one corpse out of the water if you want to examine them. The first thing you notice is what little clothing remains on them bears the sigil of Cydana that Sir Norville himself wears. They have these gashes across their chest and they're all bloated from the water.

It seems like these are creatures that died or were killed at some point and left in this water. Maybe they were drowned, but you do see wounds on their body as well. They were discarded. You don't know the circumstances, but either this desecration aura has risen them or they were just undead waiting for people to come by. If only my character had had the same flashback that we did.

Yes, if only. Uh, do I, can I based on the style of the guy? Well, and Killian knows all this. Yeah, and Killian, you've, uh, you know, just if we want to go, uh, meta here, neither of these guys are the size of Sir Calvin. But would they, would they have been in his party? Possibly. Or like, is this like the area where that assault might have

happened? No, that was in the Tusk Mountains. At least... Might they have washed, like, might they have, like, washed down from there in the intervening years? No, no, there's no way. This is a lake with no rivers running into it. Okay. Yeah. But I recognize this armor. It's old, but it holds and carries the symbols of your order, Sir Pius. Sir Norville. Sir Pius. It's an old, it's older armor, but it checks out?

I was about to clear it, sir. I... Do you recognize them, do their families still reside in the veil? I don't recognize them, but I don't think it really matters much considering that the real problem is that statue. That statue out there, I could feel it when I got close to it. It's emanating something dark, something that's waking these things up. If we don't deal with it, I feel like it's going to wake up other things. They'll continue rising from the water and coming close, making their way to the town. Do you think the power of prayer would be enough to sanctify it?

I think maybe, yeah. Helena, do you have any means to to consecrate a statue? Maybe. To undo what's been done. But I'm not I'm not sure about swimming. You cannot swim? I mean, I could swim out there. I could swim, but...

With you. Okay. Okay. Okay, let's go. Her main concern is the swimming. Yeah. Uh, Kilian will go out there with her, guide her, and just make sure she doesn't drown, but I don't think it's...

I don't know how deep it gets out by the statue. She swims like it's mostly Like a doggy paddle keeps getting splash in the eyes. I don't please don't do that. We're literally walking Please stop what oh we can stand we can stand it's all enough Let's um, let's just take a pause here into how this works mechanically or how it could work mechanically. If you guys aren't interested in that, if you just want to like flavor consecrate, that's fine. But if you have any interest in the actual rules, I will explain. The rules are optional. That was passive aggressive. That was really passive aggressive. Maybe that's not what you're interested in,

that's fine. There is a ritual, second level ritual called consecrate. It takes three days to cast I'll be in the bathroom You need that you need secondary casters all of which are worshipers of the same religion It's a 44th burst around of the same religion. It's a 44th burst around a shrine altar statue or something like that and the duration lasts for a year. It's a very powerful ritual. If you're trying to remove this desecration aura, this would probably be the way to do it and then you roll and there's critical success, success failure, critical failure. But if you're not interested

in any of that shit and you just want to be like, I swim out there and say a prayer, we could do that too. I don't really care. What interests you as players? Well, the ritual also costs like 20 gold. Let's do the other thing. Yeah. Let's do the one that doesn't. Let's do the discount option. Let's do the discount option. Do the discount option. I want my wife to receive the finest medical care money could buy. Yeah, if you want to just flavor...

Well, here's what I'll say. If you're going to flavor it, you better have some good flavor. You want to taste our flavor? Yeah. I want to taste the rainbow. Okay. So, can't we just consecrate it? Okay. You can't just go taste the rainbow. Okay. So can we just consecrate it? Okay. Can we just go to the town?

Well it's gonna take three days. It's gonna take three days. We go back to the town and be like, there's this horrible source of evil, give us the money, we'll go bring the other casters. Bring your highest level casters. Yes, do the ritual. Have them do it.

Yeah. And fix my foot. Right. Yeah, so I could do this. Don't worry about your foot. Or we can have other people more better at this and have more time on their hands. We're busy. You swim out there and she very quickly realizes this is magic beyond her. She's going to need

other casters, other people who have taken the light of Cydana into their hearts. And so she dog paddles back out. And now the five of you are standing on shore. It smells like pickles over here. It's so novel. It's a horrible thing to say. You're welcome. Do we think that this is the source? Do we think that this is where it came from? The goat. We should press on and see if we can get more.

The goat room. We should press on and see if there are more. The Goatrum. The Goatrum is open. Come, Andromeda. Let's venture further into the wood. Okay. I feel like I'm just doing Gran's voice now. You're getting close. It's very barren. Oswin!

Oswin! He's right behind you. Oh! No, I'm still a hundred feet away. I'm just waving. She points, she points like onward to you, Sir Norval. To Oswin! Forward! March! Are you, are you commanding me like your horse?

Is that all I am to you, some beast of burden? I don't know. I thought it would be fun. Sorry. I'll never be your best buddy. She puts her slipper back on in embarrassment. I will be quiet for the rest of the ride. No, it's all right. And I begin to gallop towards her eyes.

I cant her over. She's clapping. Alright, so what is your plan? What do you want to do? We're going to start trekking through the woods, I guess. Looking for other auras of evil or this kind of energy somewhere else. Okay. We'll tag them with a little colored flag. Alright, somebody give me a survival check, whoever... I...

Probably be Ozwin. Can I aid you? Yeah, sure. I aid you. Awesome. Eugh... Uh, ten. Oh...

Okay. Ozwin, are you trained? No, it's... It's... I've got some, like, informal training of a sort. I'm not good at this. Surprising. Maybe I could try next time.

I could... Great. We're more than... What? No, it's... Is that a yes? No. It's a competitive spirit.

I was like, here's... This is going to hurt my... So I'll try next time, maybe? I'm not a threat in there anyway, but he's a bit... I'm not a threat in there anyway, but he's a bit... I'm not a threat in there anyway, but he's a bit... I'm not a threat in there anyway, but he's a bit... I'm not a threat in there help my so I'll try next time I'm not threatened or anyway we so that's female go ahead no better all in years go ahead Elena you have to trust us win even though this is the seventh time we've passed the same tree, he knows what he's doing! There's a method to the madness here.

I believe him. The sun is getting low. Oh. I know you can't hear! That's what led us back here to this tree so we could lie some great wide branches that can sleep under it so It's really safe. And it's there. What does sleep out do?

Are you lost? Do you know where you're going? Not exactly where we are. Back here at this tree again. Exactly how to get there. See? He knows exactly what he's doing. This is good.

All right, well then I say we pitch camp now stay here for the night sit out again at first light pitch camp you Gather some wood for the fire You light the fire. Oh, yeah, it gets dark We'll be back right after this dark. And we'll be back right after this quick break. Oh nice, nice. Get some drinks, get some merch, we'll be right back.

With the Fizz loyalty program you get rewarded just for having a mobile plan. You know for texting and stuff and if you're not getting rewards like extra data and dollars off with your mobile plan you're not with Fizz. Switch today. Conditions apply. Details at fizz.ca. We are back. I just realized all of the players are sitting around a campfire. It's true. It's become a bit of a staple of the glass cannon network when PCs get a chance to just unwind, maybe have a couple pops, make some s'mores, wash the blood off their hands. Were any of the things you just said euphemisms for sex?

Uh-huh. Okay, great. And talk. So, the moon can be seen through the trees very faintly. It's casting a filtered glow down upon your little campfire here. Maybe you've made some makeshift sleeping spots with twigs and leaves and berries and shit. I don't know what you sleep on.

No, I would say- Camping is stupid. I agree with that. I think that we would have traveled with bedrolls and camping equipment. They're actually on our sheets. We also said it might be a couple days, so I think we know. All right, so you lay that stuff out as the first marshmallow lights on the fire. I think Killian is gonna start the fire. Okay. He's gonna work the... get it all set. Okay. Light a fire. And get it going. And I think he's gonna... he can't help it as he's building it. Helena, do you remember... What the fuck is going on over there?

Get your head out of the gutter. I didn't know I was being so funny. Nice. Helena, do you remember the tale of Sir Calvin? What? Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt your meditation. Sorry, I'm just trying to prepare this spell that will help Andromeda. You see Andromeda in the background burning her third marshmallow.

Ah, fuck! She takes her other slipper off and just tosses it into the woods. Okay, it's prepared. Well, it will be ready in the morning. But what? What? What? The tale of Sir Calvin. The tale of Sir Calvin. The tale of Sir Calvin. Oh! That guy.

Yes. What do you mean, that guy? What's that about? Do you have a history? Sir Calvin the Nightblade. Yes, I remember him. Not a fan? You do? I mean, whatever. He was...

I guess he was the first Knight of Sidonah but... Ah, he was. You should know that. Sir Norville. Sir Norville is trying to examine Andromeda's strained ankle. Because, don't touch! I haven't touched you yet. I thought you... Even just the thought of possibly touching makes me laugh. When I touch your ankle, you'll know. I'm sorry, Killian, you were saying?

So Calvin, he was the first of your order. He was made a knight right here. The Dawnblade. The Dawnblade, yes. That's how he was reconsecrated. And his knights, they wore armor just like the one we saw today. Are you suggesting that one of the creatures we fell this afternoon was Sir Calvin? No, none was big enough. But I'm saying the the ones we fell today were Knights of Cydana. They once protected our village. And I hate seeing them turned into something so dark, so evil, and turned against us. Do you recall any missions to the Mistwood that went awry that would have resulted in the loss of two nights of the dawn? I'm sorry, two nights of St. Diner? Can I roll society on that?

23 of society. There were stories of things going afoul in the Mistwood that happened all the time. If people were running off bandits, they could have been killed by wild animals. You don't remember a specific time of knights dying in the woods. Yeah, no. I don't remember a specific time, but I fear for what might come out of these woods if we don't consecrate that statue. If we don't take care of that or find other ones around. The town itself, Rosewood Dale could be, Vale could be under attack.

And by a most pernicious foe. Now I'm just doing George W. Bush. Yeah. I got every center. Okay, sorry, let's get back in. Andromeda, can you rotate your foot this way? She tilts her foot and her head. The head is not, all right. And how about this one? Ow, that part hurts. And my finger hurts too.

You don't have to do this. I'll help her tomorrow. But if you're having fun, then... The goddess provides service through many vessels. And Ramona looks around at the group. I have never been camping. Never, never once. No. Not in this world where the primary mode of travel is walking great distances. You've never slept outside. No.

Always in the carriage or in a place to stop off and in or a tavern, never under the stars. This is really nice. I always thought it would be scary, even after today, and I feel really sick, But this part is nice. You do this a lot? Hang out. Yeah, there's nothing else to do. Wow. Sir, Sir Normal hands you a perfectly cooked marshmallow on a stick. This is for me?

Yes. But you have worked so hard to make it so crispy on the outside, but soft in the middle. As I said, the goddess works in mysterious ways. She takes it slowly off the stick. Come on. And delicately places it. Alright.

Alright. Don't forget she's gross. Why is she gross? Why am I gross? She's cute. Bring up a picture of her. What? Go to the map. Holy shit. Why is she gross? Why am I gross? She's cute. Bring up a picture of her. What?

Go to the map. Holy shit. She's so sweet. We're not going to shame Andromeda. She's not gross at all. I think she's got a cool haircut. Just because she's a nerd. No, no, no.

It's not because she's a nerd and it's not because she's got a dope haircut. It's because she has a fucking demon eye. That's one demon eye. Demon eye and lightning on her arm. Well the burns are kind of cool. They're kind of cool. It's the demon eye that really makes me terrified to be in a presence or sleep mirror. Why are we doing this in character? Did I say that out loud? Just now. Guess I'm not used to camping around the fire either. It's right here, it's a little dimly lit in the hall here, but demon eye.

One of her eyes, the blood vessels are all permanently broken and open so the entire eye looks like blood. Yeah, so it's a- So blood. Oh, is that all? Yeah. Cool. So it's not shaped like a dragon eye. No, no, no, it's just the white of her eye is permanently red from the blood. When you say this, she turns to you. Yes, I was struck by lightning when I was outside.

I see, so you stopped going outside. No, my parents did not want me to get hurt anymore, so they put me in the school. So that is why I've never camped. I'm sorry. Long story short, I got struck by lightning and now I camp for the first time. Thank goodness it's not raining. It's a miracle you survived. Some say those who are struck by lightning and survive have made contact with another

world. Really? Who says that? I read it somewhere. I'm well read. Oh. I have not read that. I know appearances can be deceiving, but I do read quite a bit. Ashwin, you must sleep outside most of the time because you're not in the town when often I look. That's right, yeah. I don't uh, there's a lot of uh, a lot of indoor opportunities for a rest for my profession. It's like, I'm out of these doors, like, what you beat it. Don't you ever get tired though? Of course, as soon as I get tired, sleep outside. That makes perfect sense.

I was being vigilant to shoot like that? And he's like, really, he sort of like blushes a little bit, but he's really proud of himself. And he's just saying, oh, that's uh... Yeah. I hand you a perfectly cooked marshmallow. Thanks to me. Go on. It's nice. It's perfect.

The work of the goddess. No, I, um, no, I, uh, I've been, I've just, uh, trained a lot. He's been, um, well, and he like holds up his hands with the missing fingers. It's like, makes it a bit harder, but I've been working. I've been working at it. My hope is that one day I'll get back to something close to what I was before I, you know. What happened there? Were you poaching? Did you arrest him?

No, I wasn't. I didn't cut his fingers off. No, this actually, this didn't happen here. Okay. But I think that it's kind of known that that's the punishment for that kind of crime, right? Right. So it might be like assumed. Yeah. That that's what happened. A little abrasive to ask directly when you probably assume. No, no, I mean, that's fine.

But it's just like, those who hadn't asked might assume that it was like a punishment for poaching. Sure. It says, Yeah. Yeah, poaching. Great. Poaching. Ran afoul of the authorities to the west and took a boar that didn't belong to me. Well, you know, they were made that mistake again But it's it might be Evident that he's not telling the whole truth. Yeah, yeah kind of a perception. Yeah and I'm not gonna press of course at the moment, but he's just

You're telling me that you learn to shoot with your other hand All right, I had to. It's quite an impressive thing to do. I mean, that's, it's impossible. It's unbelievable. Well, it's out of necessity. I don't know any other way to live. I can't like feed myself with like any other, I't know what else to do I had to I can't imagine how you shot before you lost your fingers

you must have been like level 14 yeah I put a number on it but it looks yeah just looking kind of like wistful it's thinking about the skill that he's lost. Well, the other thing, the other thing I find admirable in your character is that you forge a new life for yourself. Hmm. And you might get a sense that like some And you might get a sense that like some dark memory like crosses over his face like a storm cloud. And

sort of like leans back. You know, the marshmallows are lovely, but I'm just going to take the air and perhaps like flush it to quail or something. I'll be back. I'll be back. And he just gets off and goes off into the woods. Oswin, don't go too far. I know. There's dark magics afoot. Ah, I'll be alright. I'll stay away from it.

I'll be all right. Stay away from it. Helena, your dress is almost dry. She's stuffing her face with marshmallows. What? Your dress, it's only wet in the back. If you turn towards the fire, you'll dry. She turns to the back and looks. And drama is staring at you. Helps you to like kind of fan your dress out. There's a silhouette back there. That.

Wait, what did you say? Let me. What the fuck? Let me feel. She started it. She feels the back of your dress. I mean, you can just look. It's damp.

Yeah. Okay. It turned the fire to make it dry. Okay. I'll stand with my back to the fire. I will go to bed. She eats another marshmallow. I will be here near you outside and I will do the sleep now. Does she sleep like a dead person?

I do believe she sleeps like a dead person. She sleeps like a corpse. I think she's a vampire. Just like starts grabbing part of the spare firewood. So novel. Rock, paper, scissors for first watch. Can I have a marshmallow? But of course. And he cooks one perfectly for you. Oh. Helena, Elena, would you like one? It really is perfect.

Yes. Yes, please. I see you have been most assiduous in your own cooking, but if you'd like one. I can make you one. Here, we'll make one for each other. All right. And they toast some marshmallows. Really, it's the goddess that's making them for both of us.

That's so funny. And as she laughs, her marshmallow hits yours and they're a little gooey. Oh, oops. And then a little string of marshmallows connecting them. I'm sorry. Oh, no, no. This is fun. Here, here, here. What? He takes both of them and he holds the gooey part for you to eat between them. It's taking all my

power not to insert a talking grasshopper into this thing. Well met, travelers. I've Oh, this is fun. I love this part. We cut to the darkness in the forest. Guys, it's so thirsty. Where Oswin is relieving himself, perhaps, by a tree. And that's not what I'm... I was going out to hunt. Oh, you were going out? I wanted to get some meat.

All right, let's follow you then. We do? Okay. I thought you were... There's some available back at camp. I don't have the soundboard. I don't know when I keep doing the music. Do do do. All right, so you head out into the brush.

And it's dark, and you're human. You're kind of straining your eyes, but you're really using your ears to listen for any sound and you hear like a nearby, maybe a rabbit or something. How does it work with you like hunting in the night? Are you like stalking with your ears? Are you just shooting blindly into a bush? Well, I think if there's sufficient moonlight, like I can just get an idea. Because the thing is, with, it's not funny.

Because if I have, with the hunter's mark, I can ignore concealed. Yeah, yeah. So it's like he's using that kind of skill to just catch like a shadow and just like, boom, hit it dead on. Okay. So you see a rustle in a bush.

You take a step forward and a little creature fritters out. You have a shot, take it. That would be a 26. Arrow goes straight through this creature, it's, you know, about as big as a shoebox. Nice murder. It's a halfling. It's a halfling. Oh no, it's a juvenile halfling. With an arrow between.

Oh no, not again. He had a shovel. Flashback to a halfling just getting off a boat. Can't wait to surprise my wife. Ha ha ha ha ha. She wasn't expecting me home for the service this early. Ha ha ha ha. Be the greatest soldier surprise ever.

Let me just leap through these woods. I love my lonely forest walks. Yes, I know it's late, but I want to surprise her at night. Oh! Ha ha ha ha. You. I want to surprise her at night. Oh! Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. You don't pierce this thing. With the force of the arrow,

the creature-like, is pushed deeper into the brush. And you move forward to try and grab it. And you just hear the sound of hooves. It sounds like it's getting closer and closer and closer and closer to you and you turn and there's no one there. And you look down and in this little bush is a dead hare with an arrow straight through

its neck. You pick it up, return to camp. Killian, what are you doing? How did the first watch work out? Well presuming that he was out there hunting. Let's just do a rock, paper, scissors. It's me and Sir Norville. So one shot for all the marbles.

Rock, paper, scissors, bam, gotcha. Shit, I lost. Well. Well. I always assume I'm gonna lose, and Troy's like, she's gotta go in confident, man. It makes all the difference. And I tried at that time, and it's bullshit. It's way funnier there was quite quite a confident paper that my sister's cut But for sure you'd go rock Love rocks good old rock. Nothing beats rock. He's rock. So yeah, I guess you come back in As you come back to camp, I would say

Killian is is not wearing armor, but he has his sword out and it's this big bastard sword and the hilt of it is up on his shoulder, the point sitting on some of his clothes that are down on the ground and he's just running a sharpening stone along the edge of it. And he hears the rough rustle. He just grabs the blade with two hands and like peers into the bushes. You come loping in with this dead rabbit. So do me. It's all right. Give me a fright. Did you get something? I hear and I hold up the hair. It's so dark out there. I'm impressed, Oswin. I have to admit, I I see how you survive out here by yourself.

You've got to know what to look, mate. Are you eating tonight or saving it for tomorrow? I don't know if it'll keep, but... I could tuck in tomorrow to make good breakfast. Look, I... I've been around a long time. I've seen a lot of people come and go. It's the downside, I guess, of living so long.

And even though you know people a long time, sometimes you just, you think you'll have the time to talk about something. But it'll get away from you faster than you know. And I felt like earlier, and everybody's kind of asleep right now, he's keeping his voice down. I felt like earlier you were keeping something from us. And I understand. It's your past. It's private.

But you should know that... If we're gonna be working together, we've got to trust each other. And... If there's anything you want to share about what happened to your fingers... Or why you had to learn about what happened to your fingers? Or why you had to learn to fight with your other hands? I'm up to hear it, and I don't set out to judge. I stepped away from that path a long time ago.

It's why I'm not the captain of the guard. It's why I don't sit on the city council. Shink, shink. It's why I'm happy where I am. Could you give me a diplomacy check? Yeah. Cool. Yeah. Change his attitude. Change his attitude.

Yeah. It's not very good at diplomacy, unfortunately. 15. Okay. I think, like, he looks for a second like, he has had this burden, the secret that he's been carrying around for God's know how long. And like, he's ready to break down, burst. to break down burst and he like kind of just shakes his head You're a good man, I think, Kelly. I like you, even though you're sort of menacingly sharpening your blade there. His look keeps darkening as he shushes. No, it's honestly, it's just nice to... I've been around people in the long, quite a while, like a group like this. I've been alone for a while and I'm used to being around people. I'm used to being around like in a group and you know I'm not gonna lie

like I've missed it like it's been even just this like just heading out into the forest like it reminds me of better times, better friends in the past. So I don't want to burden you with my... just know that it's nice. I appreciate your interest and I'm glad to be here with this group. Not all good with words sometimes, but you know what I mean. I understand. I'm not good with words either. And I'll put it back into his sheath, get it near his bedroll and just say, I think you should come to town more often. I'm going to get some sleep. Do you mind taking the next watch?

Novel needs the sleep. He's exhausted from all the marshmallow cooking He's just covered in stick Oh, no, he didn't need a single one the body is a temple You didn't need the one that I made you. I fed them both to you. I fed them both. Oh, Jesus Christ. You were there and you all of you. And you all watched. And you liked it. How do you set shit?

Greetings, travelers. But he will, he'll set, you know, just literally lay his head on some clothing and just pat it and then try to get some sleep. I was just imagining that scene with the context of as if Osmond had just killed a halfling child. Just gave it a different kind of tinge. I don't want to burden you with my recent murder. All right, so you switch watch and Oswin during your watch from time to time, you keep hearing the sounds of approaching horses.

It's like haunting you throughout the night. You turn and nothing's there. Maybe this is something you are afflicted with. You constantly hear these sounds from time to time, in times of stress perhaps. It just seems so real like you think you're going to turn and all of a sudden a bunch of horses are going to come running in and you turn and nothing is there. This is a recurring thing for me. You're on edge the whole night before the next person relieves you and eventually

morning comes, the dawn comes, you break camp. What is your plan? You want to continue delving deeper here into the mistwoods, see if you can find anything? I immediately help Andromeda. And actually, you know, Andromeda, it's so weird. You're stunned. Is this an affliction that's hurting you, Troy? Yes. Yes. Then she's not clumsy because my feet, unusual treatment says, if the condition results

from an affliction, the affliction isn't cured, though the condition is reduced as long as the affliction remains at that stage." All right. So you're not up to date. So she never tripped. It's so weird. She never hurt her ankle. Mr. Norville never had a weird sex situation.

I'm pretty sure. About her ankle. No, no. Creepy doctor. It wasn't sexy at all. It was very professional. I'm pretty sure you were fine. It's so weird that that magic didn't work.

Anyway, let's... Then why did I fall down and hurt my ankle? That happened. Yes, that could only be the affliction. That's the only explanation. Look at it again. Okay. No, Sir Norval?

And she starts, um, Joe just had a stroke. It's just like, it's so funny. Like you, if you should, if you could just be in my head, it just keeps screaming. Like, please make it stop. She will. Andromeda does say though, I still feel, uh, she still feels hurt. She got the damage done that was not healed. That lingering void damage that could not be healed. She starts the cleanse affliction spell. It's one willing creature and I can choose an affliction such as cure, curse, disease

or poison. If it's advanced past stage one, reduce the stage by one. This reduction can be applied only once to a given case of an affliction with the case ending when it's completely cured. Okay. But didn't you just say unusual would heal the clumsy anyway? So all your genius. Yeah, but I mean, you still heal the clumsy anyway? So all your penis... Yeah, but I mean you still have the issue.

It would just... It just removes that condition. It would just treat the symptom without curing the disease. I see. So, two action. Cleanse affliction. I think she wears like a necklace with like the symbol of Cydana on it. And it like glows a bit.

And she's like, you know... Waving her hands in front of my face. Doing some hand stuff like, ah. I close my eyes. Feel the warmth of Cydana on your skin. I do. Oh. Um. Nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh- It cleanses it, it brings you to stage one, but stage one lasts for a minute, so now I need another fortitude save.

If you succeed, you will be cured of the affliction. If not, you will go back to stage two. Really? I've only prepared one of these. Why did you only prepare one? I thought it would just work. Dirty 20? Dirty 20?

Yeah. All right, you're cured. Yay! Oh, thank God. Made me nervous there. I know, I was looking at you. Oh, fantastic, and she quickly treats wounds and gets you back up to full. Thank you so much.

You're welcome. This was wonderful. Yes, you were taken care of all night. Yes. I bet This was wonderful. Yes, you were taken care of all night. Yes. I bet it was wonderful. Yes.

Thanks to you, Helena. Thank you. And she gives you a big hug. She hugs you back, pats you on the back. There, there. Okay. Oswin, would you like to guide us through the forest once more? Uh, well, I don't want to...

I understand that, Lena, like, you wanted to, from what we said yesterday, you wanted to try your hand at... I do know my way around these woods. Maybe I could help you, like, so you could see it. But I might be able to learn, like, more from you. Maybe. Your great, like, wisdom, like, in the woods. It might be a bit of, like, what we're looking for is, like, more in the, like, all the other plane. Like, if, you know, of existence than, like, the woods themselves, like, more spiritual.

So, like, you might be the better person to get, like, because of fineness and anyway. So, why don't better person to get like because of finesse and anyway, so We're gonna try to help you and I don't I don't help you either. Wait, let me help you Yeah, I am that's gonna be a Plus one 18. Yeah, so plus one. 18. So plus one. So plus one. Awesome.

Let's see. Dab, dab, dab. Yeah, no, I got a dirty 20, but I feel like she doesn't, she wants to impress you guys. Okay. And I wanna tap. You're gonna dab that cap?

Dab that cap? Dab that cap. Okay. This can only go well. Come on, Kate. Natural 20. Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Hell yeah! She's like, well, let me see. She looks her finger and she goes, hmm, feels the wind that way. Wow. Okay. So, uh, does she feel a darkness on the wind? She feels the lights of Sidana guiding her way. Nice. Duh. Duh.

That was the sweetest duh I've ever heard. As the wind kisses her marshmallow fingers. duh I've ever heard. As the wind kisses her marshmallow fingers. Still sticky from the night before. From the marshmallows. Sickos. God they're so sick. No everybody's twisted. Everybody's so horny. You march off in a direction you find a trail. It seems like this is a trail through the woods. You go deeper and you travel for a couple hours following Helena's guidance and you just don't feel any more of that negative energy. You're taking time to detect magic, to seek out this same aura of desecration and you don't feel it anywhere. Obviously the Mistsword is pretty large but at a certain point you feel like you have

some information and you could bring it back. But what is the plan here? Are you just going to go straight to Tonk? I think we go back. We need some casters, like you said, Helena, powerful casters to consecrate that statue. And maybe that nips it in the bud. Maybe that's all it was. They will tell Silverfront about it. Perhaps they will be able to help. Norval, wake up. Sorry, I'm jet-lagged. Hahaha! I think we go back to town.

What a dick! So rude. You're right, but, you know. Yeah, I couldn't sleep the last night. Thanks! Hahaha! Yeah. Yeah, I couldn't sleep the last night. Thanks! Yeah, I mean It seems like we need stronger casters than this. Yeah, then tell them. I mean, it's not our problem. Yeah, I think this ritual is important. We did our job. Yeah, we went out. We found it. We tell them. We can come back with them. We can be pretty confident. That's the source. Yeah. Yeah. High fives. We all high five.

We'd be pretty confident that's the source. Yeah. High fives. We all high five. Yeah. All right, and then you make your way back through the mistwood. You're pretty deep in. So you come back into town before nightfall,

but it's late. And do you kind of go your separate ways, or do you all go to where the town guard gathers to? Yeah, we'll go to Tonk together. Everybody? Yeah, we'll invite everybody and be like, he should know who went with us and you can offer some insight into what we saw that we can't, so let's all go. All right, so you head there to the barracks and you find Tonk and he says,

Come in, sit, sit. What, did you find anything out there? Let me tell him. What? We suspect we're going to need several high level casters in order to perform the ritual. Casters? Yes, I will reach out to Father Selwyn and see if he has people that can take care of this. Were there any signs of someone that may have done this? Someone? No, no direct signs but it seems that someone, someone's did it perhaps long ago. I'm not sure. The statue was

desecrated. It was clearly a choice. It was actively desecrated. Well I don't know. What do you think Helena? I think it was I think to do something like that You have to set out an intent a dual ritual. She's remembering dog paddling Weekly out to the statue and just back. I don't think that she looked for that she didn't roll for that maybe I can try to remember if What the head was the head I noticed something about, yeah. You spent enough time there. About who did it?

Right now you'd just be guessing. Speculating. Yeah. Speculating. The question is why now? Why has this become, if the desecration was either enacted recently or just rose to the surface why in this moment?

Well because we went and got the ram brought it back here that's how we found out. No I'm saying why did the desecration spread? Why did it infect the ram? Why did it reanimate these corpses now? Sir Norval I would like you to go to your superior, Sir Quince, and let him know of these nights. This is very strange. We lost nights over the years, but this seems very odd. Perhaps there'll be a record of their loss. Yes.

In the annals. Yes. Speak with Sir Quince this evening, if you could. And Helena, Father Selwyn and Sister DeWitt were looking for you. I told them you were out ranging. So you should go and find them and speak with them and let them know of this. And I will send a note to Father Selwyn as well. Andromeda, I don't really know you. I am, hello, I am apprentice to advisor Silverfront. I am going to talk to Silverfront about this because perhaps they know something. They have many books. Okay, I don't really care about you.

It's a pleasure to meet you again. We've met. We've met one time. Oswin, your name was. Ray, yes. So you seem a capable warrior. Have you ever given any thought to perhaps joining the town guard? we could use a man with your skills. Oh, I don't know. It might make some of the guards uncomfortable with the... Like, he's not really comfortable himself, like around law enforcement. So...

It's like a catch-me-if-you-can situation. Yeah, yeah, totally, yeah. So he's pulling a Frank Abagnale Just just putting the thought out there. We appreciate Oswin. Do you need a place to stay tonight? Do you want to come home with me stay in my place? You've given them an affliction. I know. I know. It's spreading.

It's spreading. Spreading. Who are you accusing? Moi? Jacques? Jacques? Me? Yeah, I think he's like, because, like, his plan was just to go out and like sleep in the woods again tonight, because even with like staying at the inn, like he knows like he makes people uncomfortable and mistrustful just because of his scarring.

Like it's a badge that means this guy is a criminal. You can't trust him. So, but like with Killian inviting him, he's visibly moved. Hey, now lead the way! Captain, it's all the same to you. I'd like to get home to my family and Oswin can stay with me for the night. It's fine. It's fine with me. We'll regroup in the morning. Yes, yes. Let me think on this and take it up the chain. And we'll regroup tomorrow.

You know the emissaries of Mendev are coming. When? Either tomorrow or the day after. They're to retrieve the daughters of the Baron and Baroness. They are going to Sharif-R-Taki not of Turin. Andromeda Quinn. I'm sorry, what is your name again? Andromeda Quinn, apprentice to Silverfront, the town mage.

Okay. They are coming to take the daughters now? Yes. It was only just announced yesterday. Softly fast, don't you think? I know it is above my Station, but they're singing sending guards and carriage I do not know who's going to be here, but we want to make sure that any of these situations are kept quiet Yes, we don't want anything ruining this ceremony

So I will make sure that I only speak to people that I trust and you should do the same but check in with father Selwyn and sister to it if not now in the morning of a certain oval you should seek sequence I will do this right you're dismissed. And you leave. And now we just see a series of vignettes of all of you exiting the barracks and going your separate ways. And Andromeda, you head back to, you're probably staying near Rydian, right? Like in a side room or something.

Yeah. It's like in an annex room, yeah. So you approach the door and knock. And as you knock, the door just kind of opens and Rydian is sitting there writing and there are several bottles of wine open there And a glass and she's drinking from it and she turns and smiles Come join me. And then, Sir Norville, you arrive at the barracks or the where the knights gather. Not the barracks. And Sir Leamon Quince sees you. Sir Norville, I didn't see you at evening prayers tonight.

Yes, Sir Lehman, I was on a mission assigned to me by Captain Tong. I'm sorry, did I send you on a mission? Do you think yourself above ritual? No, I was following orders, sir. Oh. I performed my prayers out in the Mistwood while I was on my mission. Well, sir Lehman. In fact, that's actually something I need to speak to you about. Oh, I performed my prayers out in the Mistwood while I was on my mission Well, in fact, that's actually something I need to speak to you about well There's something I need to speak to you about and it has to do with your orders We are changing them

And then we cut to Helena Arriving at the temple of Sidon. You come in. This is me hustling over there. Okay. I was wondering what you're doing with it. It's so close to the doggy paddle. Yeah. Why are you swimming over there? I walk like I swim. Wow. Like a dog. Wow.

You walk like you swim. You enter the temple and Father Selwyn is in his chambers and he turns and says, Oh, Helena, yes, please come in. Shut the door. Sister Dewitt is feeling under the weather, but we should talk. And then Killian and Oswin walk through town. It's like the killing of the five families. This is so creepy. Yeah, that's what it feels like. You get to your house and you unlock your door. Shh, they might be sleeping.

We'll just sneak in. I think you're probably good at that. Pull my hood over my head. It's treating it like a home invasion. You walk inside and you see in the living room and your wife is sitting on the couch and she stands up quickly and behind her is another man. Whoa! and her is another man. Whoa. Eh! Thump. Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Encounter over.

Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! And she says. She's your long lost brother. Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! She says, oh, Killian, hi.

I thought you would be home tomorrow. You know Eldren, and this elf stands up. Is there somewhere private we can talk? Who are you? We need to speak in private. All right, uh, Oswin, just stand over here. I'll explain in a moment. Stand in the corner. Stay by my wife.

Don't talk to my wife. Should I turn away from the, like face the corner or? See, just turns and like faces the... Ha ha ha. Come outside. Come outside. And we'll see you in a minute. Good night everybody! It's time to make your membership official. Start your 30 day free trial today and become an official member of the Naish at JoinTheNaish.com

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