The Glass Cannon Podcast - Ascension Part 5 – Choking Hazard (Seattle)

Episode Date: May 10, 2025

Arson and more undead threaten the lives of the party as well as some of the town's first settlers. Watch the video here: ⁠https://youtu.be/vr7Ubm60eOQ Join Troy Lavallee, Joe O'Brien, Skid Maher, Matthew Capodicasa, Sydney Amanuel, and Kate Stamas as they tour the country. Get your tickets today at ⁠https://hubs.li/Q03cn8wr0⁠. Access exclusive podcasts, ad-free episodes, and livestreams with a 30-day free trial with code "GCN30" at ⁠jointhenaish.com⁠. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit ⁠https://hubs.li/Q03cmY380⁠. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We hope you're enjoying your Air Canada flight. Rocky's Vacation, here we come. Whoa, is this economy? Free beer, wine, and snacks. Sweet! Fast free Wi-Fi means I can make dinner reservations before we land. And with live TV, I'm not missing the game. It's kind of like I'm already on vacation.

Nice. On behalf of Air Canada, nice travels. Wifi available to Airplan members on Equip Flight, sponsored by Bell Condition Supply, seercanada.com. Spring is here, and you can now get almost anything you need, delivered with Uber Eats. What do we mean by almost? You can't get a well-groomed lawn delivered, but you can get chicken parmesan delivered. Sunshine?

No. Some wine? Yes. Get almost, almost anything delivered with Uber Eats. Order now. Alcohol in select markets markets the app for details You are listening to the glass cannon network the premier source for role-playing game entertainment How we doin' Seattle? Oh yeah! Man, I came here right in the shit on this mud puddle you call a city, but I have had

a great time since I landed in your terrible airport. Great time. We really have had probably one of the best times we've ever had here since back in the Pizocon days when they were really fun. But we never got downtown. We never got to come downtown and hang out because we were trapped in Z-Tac. But we went out last night to the Ray Gun Lounge and played board games. Then we just kind of bar hopped our way back to the hotel.

Kate went to bed at 6 p.m. like a fucking lemur. 8 p.m., 8 p.m. Slept 16 hours. 12. I'm exaggerating for effect. But then today, Francis, Joe, and I, we went down to Pike Place and we just kind of hung out. We had a little wine tasting at 10 a.m.

Joe bought a cinnamon bun like a four year old. It was like a quaint little bachelor party. The guy at the wine tasting was amazing. He just like opened up this gate to like start the day. And I was just like standing outside like, morning. And I was just standing outside like, morning! And he was just like, aw. Alright, come in.

I haven't even received the local charcuterie yet. You guys are really hard up for rosé, huh? Alright. We left there and we're like, well we got 15 minutes to lunch, let's go to a brewery. And so we went to Pike Place Brewery, which is right across from a strip club, which by the way, from their sign outside,

it said that they just started serving alcohol. Yeah, they were like, now even more fun. Right, like, how miserable was that place before? I just want to go there, see nude women, eat a grilled cheese, and not be surrounded by drunks. Right. Now they got booze. Good for them. The booze just really made it tawdry.

It was a high class affair before that. I was sitting there, it was Troy and I and Francis, and we got a cold one, and we're just talking about how awesome the weather was and Seattle and everything and Francis is first time in Seattle so welcome home with a big round of applause and we're sitting there just talking and we were sitting next to this open door window thing we're just looking out the street and there goes Skid. It was like a sitcom. I was just walking along and I real quick call him and I'm like, yeah buddy I see where you walk by that lift bike or whatever. I'm watching you

And he's like he's looking around like oh, we're in the separate across the street I'll hang up and he starts walking over and Troy's like You know what you did. I was like what I was like you interrupted him on the way to the strip And now he's embarrassed. He's going to sneak in a 15 minute breakfast buffet. I was hungry. I was hungry. Well now he can get a Bloody Mary.

We were all at Pike Place this morning, but I didn't run into any of you. All separately. Yeah, I didn't run into any of you. We ran into some GCP folks, which was really funny. But I didn't see you guys once. Yeah, we ran into some GCP folks and they said, we just saw Sydney and Kate. I said, which way did they go? Good to know.

And we didn't go that way. Let's go the other way. Walk the opposite direction. Kate and I had a really fun-filled morning. We woke up bright and early, drank about five cups of coffee from five different, wonderful coffee places, as you do. Coffee flights. And then sort of like vibrated around Pike Place.

We're like, wow, there's beautiful candles. You want to try some money? But we did something fun. We did. We did like a silly thing. We didn't go on the Ferris wheel. I missed out on that. Or like Wings Over Washington.

We didn't do any of that. You guys did a silly thing? That's so weird. We do the thing that girls do on vacation, which is go get caricatures. We got caricatures done at Pike Place. I sent them to you, Joe. I'd love to share them with the folks here. What is happening? Joseph! Oh, it looks good, Joe.

Tex-a-porous Joe. There it is. Tex-a-porous. Oh! Joseph! Oh, it looks good, Joe. There it is. Texapora's Joe. Texapora's Joe. Doesn't Sydney look like a real housewife? So many fillers. Sydney looks like she has had some work to do. If Lisa Rinna was also Sydney. I said Sydney looks like a real housewife and Kate looks like a sassy 90s sitcom mom.

She's Lisa Rinna, I'm Eileen, obviously. They also made me look so worried. I was like, is that my resting face? I'm like, um. It looks like you're worried that Kate is gonna stab you today. Like you're trying to look behind you, like, ah, and she's got that look, like, yeah.

Or whatever. Or he just had a stalk woman and drew Kate. He ran out of time. There you go. And the nose ring. The nose ring kind of looks like you just have a runny nose. Or a bloody nose, like somebody punched her. Like somebody just punched you. I think character artists must have the best time though,

because unlike every other type of artist where people are so critical all the time, a character artist you can't really be like, hey I look kind of weird. It's like that's the point, stupid. Why did you make me and my friend look like an interstitial from the Carol Burnett show? That's what it was. Honestly, it was it was very fun. Highly recommend. We had a great time and the artist was so nice. He recommended tons of great places to go to next time we come back to Seattle, which I hope we do next year. Wow.

Alright. It would have been more time at Sean Kemp's dispensary. That would have been so. Oh. So tell me about this. You went to Sean Kemp's. I walked by it the last time we were here. This giant mural of Sean Kemp dunking on somebody.

It was just like, what the fuck is that? And it sells weed there. And I was just like, well, that's weird. I wouldn't suspect Sean Kemp to be associated with marijuana. But I guess he does. He sells it. I was just like, I have to go there. And I did.

It was fucking awesome. Sell shirts. They're showing videos of like Sean Kent's top ten dunks and I'm watching it. I'm trying to identify like old 80s Golden State Warriors players getting dunked on. It's like, is that Chris Gatling?

I have a time in my life. The problem is when you go into a dispensary that I run into, I don't really like going in these, is because the people working there are often pretty high. And it's hard to have a conversation with someone when they're high and you're not.

I was trying to make myself understood. It was just like, do you have any like tincture, like some of the nitrox? He's like, what? So just give me anything. Just grab anything. I'll take a t-shirt. Were the strains named after like 80s and 90s basketball players?

It is. It was like a debt-left-shrimp joint. It's fucking awesome. It's great. Highly recommend. If you're visiting Seattle, it's great. And you went to a museum as well? Yeah, and I went to the Museum of Pop Culture today which people tell me for years ago to world-class museum loved it

Fucking phenomenal museum great museum. Heck. Yeah, I didn't know this place had culture. It's good to know there's a museum Your coffee is pretty good. How dare you? Yeah, it's been a really fun day and look forward to coming back in 2028 Yeah, it's been a really fun day and I look forward to coming back in 2028. Oh, come on! No, I mean literally anything is better than having to enter the third circle of hell tomorrow when we drive down to Portland. Who's coming to Portland, huh? Such a people!

You guys are alright. We'll be there. I can't wait. I might skip it. No, it'll be fine. I'm glad we only have to spend 12 hours there. Your city's great, and we had a really good time and now we're here to do a show. This is our first time at the Neptune. What a sick venue. What a sick theater. This place rules. The tune, do they call it the tune? They do now. Yeah so we're, this is show number five of the year of our new tour, Glass

Cannon Live Ascension. Pretty exciting. Everybody caught up? Wow. Okay, good. What's going on in this? Did you tell us? Asking for a friend. No, no, we'll go one by one and everyone says a word. You say one word and that's the show. I gave a telephone. I did. So a couple of folks in the meeting group were saying they like, they caught up like today. They were working on it. it and I said yes yeah were those the folk that was I guess I was it I was like you came here for the story it's a good story it's a good story we'll see let's look at a few more apps can always switch gears midway through I I've been getting, once you get to be in your mid-40s, you get targeted for a lot of social media ads for people who are

slowly dying. And so the one that I've been getting lately, and I just saw it before we got on stage, was it's for like hair loss. And have you seen these people that now fly to Turkey? Oh yeah. Oh yeah. You guys know about this? Yeah. There's these videos of guys like, here's my experience with the Turkish Hair Clinic.

And you basically, you buy the flight, and that's all you really have to buy except for the cheap hair transplant. And they fly first class, a limo picks you up, brings you to a five star luxury resort, and then you get your hair transplant. Is it just hair plugs? It's just hair plugs, but it's like way cheaper

than I guess what it costs in the US. Are you gonna do it? No, no, I... I may wear a hat, but there's still a little bit here. But there could be so much more. There could be. Well, I saw this and I was like, I don't even think I want to go to Turkey, but now they made it look interesting.

You can always have more hair, Troy. Can you? Matthew? I can speak Greek, too. Yes. Take it from Robin Williams over there. You could donate to the whole Turkish embassy. Shaved you down.

I'm losing it, too. Oh, Matthew. I'm not going to Turkey are you gonna just go bald what's the plan you're just gonna like a fuck it I mean years ago I was like if I if I lose my hair I'm not that vain you know I'll just see what happens they'll be fine well this is I'm not I'm not a vain person about this and then it turns out I was exactly that thing you were very bad very bad now I'm on medication for it. For the vanity? For vanity.

On heavy vanity meds. It's called moisturizer. What about you Joe? Are you just going to let it go or are you going to do the comb over? I think I... No, no, I don't know. I'm just not thinking about it. No. Just moving on with my life. Just Irish denial. You guys are fine though because you can all grow amazing beards.

So you can do grow amazing beards. So you can do the beard bald look which is a great look. Cindy and I would have to go to Turkey to get beards. Yeah, like if we went bald we'd have to go to Turkey. Yeah, I can't grow a beard. You want to go to Turkey to grow beards? I would consider it. No, no, yeah, we're going to get hair plugs in our faces.

I'm not sure they offer that service. Beard plugs are much cheaper. I like when you can go like this when you think. Yeah, that's fun. Yeah. That is fun. Or that Matthew, yeah, the mustache. That's cool. Skin, you're the elder statesman here, but you've got a nice mop up there.

What happens when it goes? I'm not going to Turkey simply because I watched Midnight Express once. I was really, really stoned and it fucked me up so bad that I can't ever go to Turkey. I can't do it. I can't risk it. I can't risk it. So you'd rather go bald.

I'll just go bald. I'm already 50 though. I've already got enough. If it goes to this point, it's just like, you know, you aren't. Wait, did you turn 50 yet? Yeah, I'm 50. How come we didn't have a big blowout?

That would have been nice, but it's fine. Oh. And now that you mention it, yeah, sure. I could've sworn we had a couple more years. Yes. Fine. Aw. Awkward.

Abort. Abort. Abort. At least we all bought him a card and signed it. Nope, we didn't do that either. This show could have gone a couple different ways. Technically, you were zero when you're born, so we'll celebrate this year. Shut up, everybody.

I'm 52, but that's fine. Well, we really missed it. I was going to say, did we have the pandemic as an excuse? No. Well, it was during COVID. Did we go to trivia for that birthday? Uh... That was 51.

No, that was, yeah, that was 51. Oh, boy. I thought I was off the hook. You're making it worse, Sydney. Wait, what about when we went to that bar in Queens and Michael and I were there? Yeah, that was, that was like six years ago. Fuck.

I mean, everyone's making it worse. It's a fucking horror movie. We met in the middle of that point in my opinion. Time just keeps going on. It just, every year it continues. What matters is that it wasn't really important to any of you. Wait. Wait.

Did you turn 15 in 2023? Uh... Don't make us do that. He's old, he doesn't remember. No, I can't. No, I turned 50 in 2022. Let's see what I was doing. Yeah, let's see.

This is psychotic. Wait, maybe we were hanging out doing a live show. Maybe we were on tour. I don't know what I was doing. All I have is your birthday and Halloween. Why do you have an event that says you will get sick on October 20th? That was a play. Oh.

I bet it was. Yeah. No wonder you couldn't show up for your party. You was sick. Cindy, you've got at least 40 years till you turn 50. Yep, that math checks out. I am 10. Most of us will be too dead to celebrate.

Sad. It's a shame. What will I be doing for my 50th? Celebrating your death. I'm sorry I said that. I don't know why I said that. That's why she's my wife. Get a caricature of that. Folks, you want to play some Pathfinder?

Yeah! What about you on the balcony? you want to find some paths? To better seats All right, let's talk about this show so far. I got a tight cap tight recap speaking of caps Undap your caps for the beginning of the show. Caps undapped, but use them sparingly because you're gonna need them tonight Last time Untapped but use them sparingly because you're gonna need them tonight Last time our heroes returned from investigating this dark unholy

desecration in the mist would They came back into town checked in with their superiors or their families Sir, Norville meets with this little penis by the name of Sir Leamon Quince. What a penis name. He really was a penis. Leamon Quince. A real peen. I thought Sir Norville showed enormous restraint. Great restraint. Well, because he respects the order and the way things should be as a true knight. But this little penis informs Sir Norville that he is being removed from the town guard

so that he can help him focus on training new knights of Cydana. We're a barony now. We need to have knights, not town guards. Sir Norfolk was very unhappy. It felt personal. Ha ha ha. Helena has a very uncomfortable meeting with her superior, Father Selwyn, where he implies, hey, since the daughters

are now being taken away, you might be out of a job, but maybe if you get cozy with me. I could, I got a job for ya. She rebuffs his advances. Andromeda finds her boss, Rydian Silverfraund, little bit in her cups, little bit more friendly with Andromeda than we've seen this far. Come join me, have a drink. You sit down and she ends up passing out this elf

court wizard essentially and you start looking through all these books that she has on her table and they're books about ovulation and herbal remedies and you think is this somehow connected to what happened to the baroness? Vomiting, she's pregnant, vomiting black bile, what is going on? Oswin, while at the local tavern, is confronted by a man that seems to recognize Oswin from a wanted poster.

Oswin then follows the man into the night and murders him in an alley while he's taking a pee. Big fans of murder here in Seattle. What is this Detroit? We're having a good time. Killian comes home to find an elven man sitting in his living room with his wife. Shugga gunga goo. He stems his rage for a moment and realizes he does know this elf. It's the son of an elf that came to this town and founded it with Killian. And this man, Eldrin, tells him, we're having a meeting tonight with a lot of the people that started Rosewood Vale to discuss what's happening here, that the Baron is sending his daughters away

for basically nothing. Find people you can trust, meet in the basement of the Mockingbird Tavern. So you do. And you get down there, and some very treasonous discussion begins. People are very uncomfortable. And at the height of the discussion,

smoke starts to fill the room. The walls start catching fire, and beings start coming out through the smoke to attack you. You're being burned alive in a basement. Bees? Bees? Bees? Bees? Bees? Bees? There's bees as well? Bees? bees bees these are a pre-show inside jokes I hope you're enjoying them hope

you're enjoying them paid audience it's from a movie they don't watch movies so a bunch of Kate's out there mine was from a TV show They don't watch movies. So a bunch of Kates out there. Mine was from a TV show. Yeah. Whatever. Quite beloved TV show. I didn't know what was happening, so I just repeated them like a parrot. Par for the course for you, Sydney.

Repeated them? No, not knowing what's happening. No, I just realized, I don't think that's a word. Repeated them? Repeated them? The more I say it, the more I'm like, that can't be right. Repeated them? No, I just realized I think that's a word repeated them More I say it the more I'm like that can't be right repeated them. Yep. That's those those are real words, right? Yeah, okay. That's where Repeat repeated what they said repeated what they said. Yeah repeated them. Just so you don't repeat a What's going on over there? Are you okay?

You got enough cups there sitting there? Are you okay? You got enough cups? You got enough cups there, Sydney? Do we need to like hard reset you? What the fuck? Do you ever like say a word and the more you say it, it sounds like you're saying it wrong. I don't know, it tickled me. Repeated them, I don't know. It tickles me.

Did you go to Sean Kim's dispensary as well? I wish, that place sounded awesome. Got the slam dunk, kush. Got the slam dunk, gush! I was like, I'm not sure Sydney isn't having an aneurysm right now. I'm going to check on my friend before I laugh. Should I be calling the medical authorities? It's still playing in my brain, repeated them. I'm like, that's so funny. You're not going to make it till 40.

Before we get to this burning basement of death, I wanna open today with yet another flashback. Flashback to the past, because that's where flashbacks happen. to the past, because that's where flashbacks happen. And this cold open will say we see the town of Rosewood Vale. It's truly starting to come into its own in this vision. Though it may not yet resemble its present state in the current timeline of our story, you can definitely see the seeds and structures

of what Rosewood Vale will one day become. The keep on the hill that when we last saw it was just being built, foundation being put up, now it's practically finished. In fact, Lord Montrose, the first, and his wife are preparing to move in. Killian will say you, and some of the, I waited until you were taking the drink.

Killian, you and some of the other members of the town guard and other just members of the society, you're helping to carry furniture and belongings from their little home to their new castle. So we'll say you're at the house and someone says, Killian, can you grab that chest there? I don't like carrying chests. I don't like carrying chests.

It's a long story I don't want to get into. Who are you? I gotta go. He's got like a lamp. Killian goes over and grabs a chest for this wandering chest hating stranger. You're inside this house and this guy grabs that chest. It's a long story. He leaves with the lamp and as you go to pick up the chest you hear you hear a young voice that says hey don't touch that that's my chest And he'll turn toward the voice.

And you see Lord Montrose's son, Percival Montrose, the second, who, if you've been following along, is now the baron in the present day. But now he's like a teenager, 11, 12 years old. Put that down this instant. Shut up. Just not. Things work differently in fantasy.

You grew up fast. Oh no, oh no. Troy doesn't know when the teenager age starts. Put that down this instant, elf. Oh, racist. Well, Excuse me, my lord. I didn't know. I was just trying to help. Well, you should have known. Now, get out!

Shut up. And as he's yelling, maybe Lord Montrose notices, he comes in and says, is everything all right in here? I was just trying to move the chest here for my, for your son, but he doesn't want me touching it. He's trying to steal my chest, father. The elf is trying to steal my chest. Percy, he's trying to help us move into our new home.

No one is stealing anything. I don't like his ears. Oh, wow. He scares me and mother says they can't be trusted. Did you say he's 12? This kid is the worst Can't be trusted is what mother says Lord Montrose kind of looks at you for a minute embarrassed and he walks into the room and backhands the kid

Wham child abuse episode That's what makes us different. Right. Child abuse, racism, rounding the bases. And you're laughing. Wham! Lays him out. God. You must have misunderstood your mother. Please apologize to my friend. The boy cowers a little. No, no, that won't be necessary. No, no, he needs to learn his manners if he's to rule here one day. I'm sorry. Don't touch my chest. Runs off.

Ludmontris walks over to you and you can tell he's embarrassed even though he rules the roost here. You've always maybe felt like he considers the way he presents himself he makes everyone feel like they're an equal. Yes things are changing. Yes he's moving into a castle and who knows what happens between now and the present day how that relationship may have changed but now he puts his hand on your shoulder very warmly and says I'm sorry the boy is young and the young are prone

to foolishness he's almost a teen some some would even call him a teen. And not be mocked for it. I know that... I know that Sidonis Light will guide him as it guides us every day Speaking of which you Came here with us as a Widower did you not? Now yes, my lord I did

That is an unimaginable pain I hope I never face That said our village our little town here is growing by the week More and more people are flocking to say Donna's light and tranced by what we have done in her name to be If I may be Frank Is that cool if I may be frank? Is that cool if I'm frank? Absolutely, my lord. You just looked at me when I asked you if I could be frank,

and I was waiting to make sure that I could be frank. Of course. May I be frank? You can be whoever you want, I don't care. Am I to call you Frank, my lord? That won't be necessary. But if I may be Frank. Yes.

To be... His royal formalities are so much. Yes. To be purposefully celibate is an affront to all that Siddhāna stands for. You must spread your light into others and have them spread their light into you. Yes, of course Vanguard. I apologize for my misunderstanding. It won't happen again. I'll show you. I will never not have constant sex with everyone I see. At your command, my lord. He just puts his hand on your shoulder again and taps. He says, when you are ready, when you are ready, get that fucking chest out of here.

Oh my god. Yeah, he'll go pick up the chest and just like looks after this guy walking away. Yeah, freaked out and steals everything inside of it. Actually, it's just GI Joe's kind of stole my thunder there. He's going to attempt to open the chest right there in of the... Well you said he like walked away. Yeah he walks away so you're just like... He's like... Fuck this kid.

He just wants to take a peek. Okay. See if there's anything really inappropriate in there. Really inappropriate in there. You go to open the chest. And we just see your expression. And the flashback ends.

It's Pulp Fiction. It's the same plot as Pulp Fiction. I had a glowing light. Light comes up. It's Glenn Montrose's soul inside. It's Glenn Montrose's soul Soul Let's take it to foundry virtual table top If you haven't bought foundry you don't care about yourself, that's their new tagline Boy you really let yourself go

You must not be subscribing to Foundry. Have you put on weight? Try Foundry. I did some work on this map that I stole. Yeah, man, it looks amazing amazing it's so great wait it didn't shaboom shaboom it now ready shaboom wait wait shaboom yeah there we The heat is on, the heat is on. It's so smoky. It's on the street. Smoky.

Smoky. Smoky. Now that you are here in this room, you can see these things that are coming out of the walls, and they look like this. No! What the? Flaming skulls.

Roll for initiative. Oh, yeah, dude! Those skulls are on fire! Sir Norville the Pious. Natural 20. Oh! You gonna tap that cap? Why would I tap the cap?

Oh, maybe you didn't want to go first. What's your tote? 26. Nice! Helena. Helena? Helena. It's episode 5. It's Helena.

Is it Kate? Helena. I wouldn't mess with Kate right now. You saw her on the plane yesterday. Yeah, she's spicy. Were you spicy? Yeah. Must have been that 16 hour nap. It's not my fault if people don't know how to act in public.

Shit. It's not my fault. Kate was kind of my hero on the plane. She clapped back. What happened? Yes. Some guy was creeping in her space. He was like up in her business trying to like.

I was trying to get my bag out of the overhead. And he was like trying to sneak past me. And I turned and I said, are you in a rush? No! No! No! I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. And he's like, yeah, and I was like, okay, so I let him go. Wow. Fuck you! I just said, excuse me. That's the follow up.

Don't push past me, like I don't exist anyway. I wrote natural two. Oh, dude. Natural two. For a 12. You used your 20 on that diplomacy check with that creep. Intimidation. That was intimidation. That was intimidation.

That's true. He was quite intimidated. Yeah, he was demoralized by the end of it. Oswin. What did you get? 17. 17 for Oswin. We don't know the last name yet, and I'm sure that's purposeful.

No. Yeah. No. Maybe Osmond isn't even your first name. Let's be honest. Killian Dongwall. Donwall. Dongwall?

Killian Dongwall. Well, I got so many great people in the pre-show, and I don't remember anybody's name. I was at a wine tasting at 10 a.m. Sorry. But you who loaned me this blue die, you know who you are. And it, Chris, yeah thank you Chris. It sucks. 12. 12. God.

Suck. Yeah, you know what you want to do when the fire starts pouring in and the flaming skulls burst through the smoke? Stand there for an hour. Motionless, staring, not reacting to anything happening around you. What a hero. Andromeda, did you fare better?

No, Joe rolled a three and I was like, that sucks. Then I rolled a three, so thanks for that. This table, bad right now. Energy, an 11 for Andromeda Quinn. You guys rolling D10s over there with the health code. Let's blame Chris. Huh? Let's blame Chris. I didn't, this wasn't from Chris.

Chris, I won't slander your name. Andromeda. Andromeda, your perception is like at eight? Why are you being mean about my perception? I thought you'd be more perceptive as a wizard. I don't know why. I have, I need bifocals. They didn't invent them yet.

Because of the eye. Right. Got it. Yeah, I struggle. Don't forget, she because of the eye right got it. Yeah, I struggle Don't forget. She has the demon eye She's got creepy lightning eye. I was round one and you see well, here's what I'm gonna say Can I be frank? No there? You see at least four of these skulls coming out of the northern wall. Flames are starting to lick the walls as well. Now, what I'm going to say is, there's obviously several hastily dropped in NPCs that I've

dropped in here. You mean, like the iconic investigator? Yes. Isn't that a sword, Kane? I didn't know Harsk lived in Rosewood Vale. Harsk! A celebrity! There he is!

Save us! Yes, I was just visiting. He's an angry dwarf. Yes, I'm on the cover of some adventure paths. Sometimes I'm seen flying through the air. Now look at me. Which is of course ridiculous. In a burning basement.

My toughest challenge yet. So we'll say that there are other skulls coming into the room that you don't have to deal with that they're dealing with. However, narratively, if you all die, they're all going to die as well. There is smoke in the room. Can we use them to somehow extend our lives? Pretend that they're not even there. Matthew! They're doing their own thing. I'm going to interact with each and every one of them. They're in the way. Keep in mind that they're not even there. Matthew. They're doing their own thing.

I'm going to interact with each and every one of them. They're in the way. Keep in mind, they're in the way. What are their names? There are boxes. I'm not going to play with you. There's smoke. Everything more than five feet away is concealed.

DC five flat check that I need you to roll before your attack. Now you might have an ability that lets you ignore concealment. I believe Oswin might have something like that in his repertoire. Keep that in mind. More than five feet away, concealment roll before your attack. And let's just say this smoke could start to fill the room and choke you and suffocation in the remaster It's brutal You will die if you do not defeat this menace quickly round one

Sir Norval the pious and just help me remember the lay of the land Oh so many questions this ladder this ladder over here to the that is the way out and it is that's the way we came down Uh-huh, and there's nothing blocking it right that we didn't hear it close to your knowledge The trapdoor is closed because it's a clandestine meeting But you have no reason to believe that it's locked or if there's a sofa on top of it oddly specific yeah okay there's no one will say you all find us a way out I'll handle these these flaming skull folks and he will step forward mmm and he will swing at the one to his northwest that is menacing Helena.

Yes. What a hero. Okay, give me that DC-5 flat check first. Now to 20. Oh my god. Awesome. No, that's terrible. Don't cheer for that.

That's a flat check. That does nothing. You could do it again though. Wait, didn't you say anything beyond That's the flat check. That does nothing. You could do it again though. Wait, didn't you say anything beyond five feet? Like there and beyond. So that's five feet away. So no, like anything. It's concealment. It's concealment.

Wait, but the one he's attacking is five feet away. No, five feet plus. And basically everything has concealment. Everything has concealment. Yes. Okay, the way you said it. These are tiny creatures. They're going to move onto your space to attack you.

So they don't have concealment when they're on your space. Right, and you don't have concealment from them either. But, you don't know, maybe they can ignore concealment? Don't worry about what they got going on. Right now, you pass your flat check. Good for you. Thanks. We're flying, guys! Oh yeah! It's a fucking plan!

Oh! Oh! I can't believe what I just saw! Oh yeah! Three in a row! Three in a row! Three in a row! Wow.

Wow. Three in a row, one more, and you get to kill an NPC permanently. Yes. You're the Sean Kemp of dice. Thank you. Holy shit, That's a fan critical. Do we have anybody from the Seattle area? We do. I'm really excited because this one and this one is from Davey maps in Seattle Oh Davey maps Davey maps Seattle, it's called dread not

You grit your teeth and focus only on dealing death. Yeah, you dig deep and steal yourself leaving yourself open But striking harder and faster double damage and until the end of your next turn you gain a plus one bonus to all weapon attacks and plus two to all damage but you take a minus one bonus or minus one penalty to AC during that time mmm okay so you're like swinging that's That's a great, that's a good one. So you're in your wild swinging, you've lowered your defenses a little bit, but you're doing more damage in the meantime. I like that.

You are reckless. You are reckless. That is going to be 24 points of damage. So I'm sorry, 26. Plus two. No, it doubled. No, no, no, but the plus two, all his weapon 26. Oh plus two Doubled no no but the plus two all his weapon attacks get the plus two what you just said the last the last sentence of The grid plus two to damage doubled plus two damage don't crit 28. Oh gross

Okay, I will take another swing. I don't care for this flat check flat check check seven Okay, I will take another swing. I don't care for this. Flat check, flat check. You need a flat check. Seven on the floor. Got it. Hell yeah. Oh, natural 20. That's gonna be a 21 to hit. Hits.

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Okay, that'll be. Plus two to damage. 13 points of damage. Couple things are gonna happen. Okay, that'll be... Plus two to damage. Thirteen points of damage.

A couple things are going to happen. Oh no. It's going to explode. Death rose? It explodes. No! Come on! I knew it.

When it dies, I need Helena and Oswin and this poor barkeep... Oh no! ...to roll a reflex save. What's her name? Her name is Melinda. Melinda. Melinda. Yes, but she's two days away from retirement.

No. She's gonna die. I'm assuming I should roll a two. Both of you have to roll a basic reflex save, natural one for Melinda. Oh my gosh. None of you noticed, but she's not wearing armor she's wearing an apron that is a 26 reflex reserve okay national 19 pretty good what about

Helena 19 okay it's fine that's good here's what's gonna happen You're both going to take four points of, excuse me, two points of piercing and one point of fire damage. Not terrible. Okay. She takes... She dies. Melinda! Oh no!

Oh! Melinda, no! It's her normal thing. It's her normal thing. It's her normal thing. It's her normal thing. It's her normal thing. It's her normal thing. Oh Normal things like my god his long sword through the skulls like open mouth, and he just said it explodes and Melinda just dies And none of us can see it Just word of the wise better to kill these things from a distance. Sorry.

May the goddess's light guide you to a better place. What's going on up there? There we go. What's happening up there? Why are you playing? Oh, nice. Explosion animation. Oh Nice Yes Explosion animation

I love that That took all my power Does the fire Does the fire help at all Yes, it helps burn the balls down faster No, with vision Like can we see clearer now that it's lit by the fire in any way or no? No

Okay No That was a stupid question. Have any attacks left, Matthew? I'm weakening you little by little. I'm making a way for a win. I'm done. You're done, okay. Alright.

Now... That flying skeleton had a lot of blood in it. Sorry. Interesting detail. I don't know how to turn that... The mystery deepens. Alright. Melinda, I'm sorry.

You were quite passionate as a lover. Wow. Wow. He's been bagging Melinda? It spoke well of you and your commitment to the goddess. This is really sad. It spoke well of you and your commitment to the gods It's really sad It's amazing that you have the time in this unbelievably stressful situation to say that so calmly to a corpse He's a cool. He's a cool character. Yeah, he keeps the cool under pressure. He's cool. All right. All right

Over here in the middle between Oswin and Sir Norval there is a flaming skull that has emerged. This one looks a little beefier than the others. No! And it is going to spit fire in the direction of Sir Norval. So I'll roll my flatty, nailed it with an eight, get that dirty old eight out of the way and then... 90-19! Oh no!

This could be a crit! That is going to be a 31 to hit. Oh! Not a crit. Yeah! Nice! Let me just see if I brought some D12s. Oh no!

Jesus. I did! I brought several of them. If you hadn't, would you have just knocked it down to a D10? Oh, fucking two on a D12. Is there anything worse? No.

Two on a D12? It's one of the worst rolls in the world. A low D12 roll is one of the worst rolls you can have. A one. If you're rolling hit points for a character in 1E, kill yourself. That's right. You would literally kill yourself.

Good advice. Right. Six points of fire damage Now it's gonna try and spit at Oswin first the flatty Natty 10 on the flatty here's with the map another Natty 19 oh Thank You Norse foundry that's gonna be a 27 to hit. That is a hit. Hope I brought some detour.

Let's try a new one. Oh I got a Christmas one here, this is fun, it's almost Christmas. In my heart. A four! Yeah, it is Christmas. Shit! The best Christmas ever! Eight points of fire damage. I'll live with that. Yeah, it is Christmas. Shit! Alright, eight? The best Christmas ever! The best Christmas ever.

Eight. Eight points of fire damage. I'll live with that. I have a feeling I know when your D12s are gonna turn it around. Oh yeah. Yeah, I'm feeling. Well, it's funny you mention that, because for its last action, it just moves directly onto Killian's spot.

Come on! No. Put you down there, yeah. He's on ya. Oh look, it's another flaming skull's turn. It's the one that is to the north of Oswin. It moves onto Oswin's space. Let's just put you below.

Excuse me. My name is Sir Norvo. Shh. It gets onto your space and it just goes, wham, with its head. 20. Miss. 20. Miss. Voice.

I'm gonna do it again. Come on. 21. Miss. Amazing. We're tired in that die. Oh, I think it's another flaming skull's turn. It is the last living one that you can see.

And this one is right next to Oswin. It is going to move on to Oswin's space and headbutt or attempt to headbutt. Oswin, let me get another Norse boundary die here. Little baby blue, come on baby blue. 21. Yeah, that's a hit. Yeah.

Okay, you're gonna take. Ah. Okay, not bad. Four points of bludgeoning, three points of fire. Okay. But then it has one more attack. 22 to hit. Yep. With a minus 10?

Don't worry about it. Wow. So you're cheating. Seven points, so mine's ten. Seven points of bludgeoning and three points of fire, so another ten points of damage. It's getting smoky in here too. But now it's Oswin's turn.

The ranged combatant has a creature that's on top of him. Ooh. What do you do? Uh, I, so do I have, I don't have my bow out, right? Do you? Is that safe to assume? We were in the middle of a meeting. I can't imagine you had it out. I expect it to not have my weapon out. Yes, Matthew of course just eschewed that. Oh, that's true. He did. He's a filthy cheater. It's unbelievable. How do you sleep it right? You were just you were just at this meeting like yeah Yeah with your sword

Gross Thank You skid for playing. I'm just saying the correct fantasy alright, so Oswin is I sleep just fine I Want to get rid of this fireball. I don't know how. I know it just keeps going. How about I throw an acid line in there? Please stop it.

Yeah. The walls are peeing. No. Oh. What is happening in this horrible town? This basement is a nightmare. No. From everywhere.

Oh. What is that aura around Sir Norval? That's something we should get in, if possible? I forget this every time. Yes, for different reasons you should get my, I always try to be in my aura. Okay, so. And that actually wasn't that dirty.

What are you thinking? What? What are you thinking, Oswin? Oswin? Oswin, so he will endeavor to get into Norval's aura. He's going to, coughing, bleeding, burning. He's going to stumble across the room. And first action, second action, pull out his bow. And his final action, you know, doesn't have an opportunity to hunt prey,

like any of the cool stuff that he can do. So he's just going to take a single worthless shot against the skull that just was on his face. Now let me ask you this, do you have something that can ignore concealment? I do. You do? Yeah. Okay. But I can't use it right now.

Okay. So a young lady gave me some dice. Oh. Beer dice. Ah. Sort of amber dicey things. That's fun. So I'm gonna use one of these.

A little flat check. Alright, made the flat check. Good. With a nine. Don't trust it, gonna set it aside. And for the attack... Natural 19! Nice!

Alright, so unfortunately because I'm within my volley range, I have to be at least 30 feet away to use my long bow effectively. I take a minus two to this attack. So that is a 28 to hit. That's a critical hit. Yeah! Oh, he still gets the crit! Yes!

All right. Amazing. Let's go. Critical hit by the skin of your peen. Peen skin hit. That is 22 points of damage. Wow. Amazing.

He's so good. He killed someone earlier today. I know. This is my... Amazing. All right. So you made lemons out of lemonade there, and now it is Killian's turn.

Killian, this one is on you. Oh! You fucking got the fucking, ah! He's going to draw his sword as an action, and then he is going to one hand his bastard sword and do a snagging strike so he comes around whoop he's gonna try to crush this thing with this strike so let's see if he can just hit 21 that's a hit right 21 is a hit barely barely no he's in my space no flat check right in your space no flat so he swings cracks this skull 17 points and then he

just puts two fingers into its two little eye holes, and he's like what the fuck And he's holding this thing and he's gonna smash it a second. Yeah, now it is off guard Oh, so oh, yeah, or else you legit snagged it snags it He's just gonna school. He's gonna just take the hill to the sword and smash it so badass He's gonna just take the hilt of the sword and smash it. That's so badass. Isn't that fucking awesome? That awesome? That is extremely badass.

I went back to Chris's blue dye. Natural one! Ha ha ha! Oh! Where is he? It's always when you describe the most cool thing ever. Do you want to dab your cap? Dab, dab, dab!

Boom! Do you want to dab your cap? Dab, dab, dab! tapping that cap. I'm tapping that cap. You're tapping that cap? Tapping that motherfucking cap? That's natural too! Are you fucking kidding me? Are you kidding me? Would this die? Oh my god.

Just gonna let my friend Oswood know. Well now it's not a fumble. Yeah. Kate, you're sweet. Just gonna let my friend Oswood know that this thing is off guard the full round until, unless it moves out of my reach, which it can choose to do if it wants to. But that would take an action.

Okay. Okay. Is that the end of your turn? Do you still have your fingers in his eye sockets? I'm not talking to anybody until next round. Okay. Fair enough. Helena, you just got exploded on.

I did, it's not the first time. Alright. Jesus. Her first turn. He's right there. Someone asked me in the meet and greet who was responsible for the smut. I always blame you.

I always blame you, cause Doug, you. I said, I'm just trying to keep up with Kate. So I want to try to do a knowledge check to see if these are undead. I mean, they're skulls. I mean, they seem like normal. I mean, do I need to do a knowledge check on this? Well, if you do a knowledge check on them, you can learn more about them beyond their undead status. I kind of really only care to know right now if they're undead. So if I already know that, I will... You feel pretty confident that these floating flaming skulls are no longer alive.

In the traditional sense, right. As someone who studied the holy texts, generally floating, my goodness, flaming skulls. Maybe I can reason with it Joe maybe you'd know this you are behind boxes. I can't see you on the map You assume he's dead infuse vitality to you if I can't see you a spell. I need no range I thought it was touch um range 30 feet. Oh, dope. Yeah. You know what? Yes. Yeah.

No. No. Stop it. Do I usually hold with line of sight until it benefits me? Right. Then it's just, let's hand wave it. Hey, hey, hey, rule of fun. Am I right?

It will be fun if I can do whatever I want. Hey, hey, rule of fun. You need line of sight. You can give it to Sir Norville. Yeah, so I was planning on giving Sir Norville some vitality, so that's what she does. She touches your arm and she's like, Sir Norville, please, they're undead.

Here, here's more power. And basically, your strike's still an extra 1d4 vitality damage to these. Which might proc a weakness, we hope. That's hopefully, yeah. Hoopfully. I've spent this whole round trying to remove this flame and I can't do it. This flame?

Yeah, that's completely ruining my immersion. Well, it's kind of accurate though. All the walls are on fire, but it really bothers me that I can't remove it. All right, so. That one wall over there keeps pulsing in a very rhythmic way. You touch Sir Norval, infuse him with holy healing, and.

That's one action. That's one action. And then for my last two actions, I'm going to do a vitality lash on the green. Well, I don't want to destroy the one in front of us. Has that one been hit yet? The one that's on my square? Yeah.

Uh, no. Okay, I'm going to do a Vitality Lash on the one that's on Sir Norval. Does that have a ranged attack to it? Yeah. Yes. Then roll the flat check first. Okay, alright. Relax. Five. Nice! Barely! Yes, then roll the flat check first. Okay, all right relax

Five Hell yeah, barely hell yeah whoo nailed it um But I'm not making an attack. It's you roll a DC 20 fortitude save Oh, then it's not and then you didn't need to roll that five. Yeah Thank you, don't you said range 30 feet, so I figured. Don't you feel foolish? Some people debate this. I'd like to hear Professor Eric's take. About concealment?

Concealment with spells that don't have a spell attack roll. Do you still need to hit the target through concealment? I say no. Yeah, no. But I don't know what the actual rule is. It's just for targeted attack roll spells. That's how I play. It's magic.

Alright, so what do I roll? Reflex, fort, will? Fortitude save. Fortitude save, let me pick a d20 here. Roll a natural one. Alright, here we go. Double damage. Fortitude save, ooh, tweener.

Here we go. 17. Fail. Eww! Hell yeah. So you take full damage, Here we go. 17. Fail! Hell yeah. You take full damage, is what that means. So. I don't like this.

Oh, she's rolling a lot of dice. She just keeps rolling. Oh my god, it's 3d6, so vitality damage. So that's 7 vitality damage. And... So that's seven vitality damage. Pfffttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt I helped you see two more of that I did Melinda You see her charred corpse Yes, you and I will like uncle Owen I just carry The camera the memory of the evening we spent in each other's company Till the day I die

You're all Melinda He says that's about everyone. Andromeda Quinn. Okay. Andromeda is coughing and everybody keeps talking and it's really disrupting her like senses and perception of things. She doesn't know where anybody is. She hears everybody really calmly talking. She's absolutely freaking out I would like to climb up. Normally is grief-stricken. Excuse me She doesn't know who Melinda is like she doesn't remember seeing this woman. She's just like Okay, I'm going to climb the boxes now

Makes me sad. You don't remember Can I climb these boxes? Sure, that seems like the smart thing to do in this situation. Yep. She's going to climb these boxes, she can't see anything, she's like kicking flour under her feet, like, look at it! And she climbs. Where are you going? We get to the safest place in a burning basement.

I can't see. You know what they always say? Get to the top of a room in a fire. Yeah, all the fire safety advice we got was just like get to the highest point in a room. I'm always freaked out when that smoke that starts at my ankle starts rising up my legs. She's doing what everyone would do in this situation,

which is panic and not do what you're supposed to do. Highly realistic. It is awesome. If at all possible, you should stand on flammable objects. You can see so much more. Yeah. You climb these crates and barrels full of high-proof alcohol.

She spills some. She knocks some over on her way up. So it won't let me go on top of it because it's an obstacle. But I'd like to sit on the two spaces over on the bottom corner. Are you going to sit? Is there a roll? Do you want to just move your character? I can't. It's a boundary. She can't move through it. It's a wall.

I'm asking you to move me to the... All right, so you want to climb here. Yep, and then the next... And then climb here. Yep. And then where? That's it. That's it, okay, so you want to just stand up there.

Yep, and she's gonna be coughing and looking around and she sees, she knows it's Killian, because Killian's quite tall, and she sees something in Killian's hand. Yes. So she's like, okay, hold it still Killian!

And she's gonna make finger guns and shoot out of her hand off the box. And I'd- You have a gun? You don't have bifocals, but you have a gun? What shape are you making with your hands? She produces a gun. She makes are you making with your hands? She produces a gun. She makes finger guns for the spell. That's just the somatic, she's doing it.

And I'm gonna cast hydraulic push. Oh, good choice. The somatic component of your hydraulic push is to make finger guns? Yes. Like, ba-dum-ba, ba-dum-ba. Ba-dum-ba-da. And thenum-bam! Ba-dum-ba-dum! And then a large beam of water just shoots out of her fingertips.

Alright, so walk me through this because Killian is there as well. Alright. Just relax. You're shooting into the same spot! It's a... no, it's a target. Is it a targeted? It's a targeted. So you're really aiming this water gun?

Yes. At this skull. Well yeah, so I'll roll concealment first It's a two hit. Okay 13 okay, go it's off guard lucky 13. I'm glad one's off guard which is hard doing this one. Okay. All right So this is gonna be it come on It will it will hit. I just really wanted to crit. Yeah.

But it's fine. I'm not going to risk it and dab my cap. I'll leave it. That's an 18 to hit. And it's off guard. I know. Why is it off guard? Because I snagging strike.

If it wasn't off guard, it would have been a miss. I knew it was, I knew it was what it's gonna mean. But now it hits exactly! Yes! Okay. Yes! Poop! Poop, I say.

So. Poop, I say. Oh. Oh! Oh! Oh! Uh, that's a third. That is an unfair amount of damage.

15 points of bludgeoning damage, and the skull is knocked five feet away from Killian. Nice. Wait, do you have to do that? Can you choose not to? No, on a success it's knocked back five feet. Oh! Taking Killian's fingers with it.

I was hoping... Oh! No, like twins, no! What a wonderful homage to me. That's not to go that far. She says the same thing. Hilaida said nailed it. Yeah, right in his golden eye. Oh no, it is still snacked because it's still in my reach. Ah, so it goes five feet, but he's like, oh! Yanks your arm out of its socket.

Yeah, exactly. Which happened to me literally on stage. Oh. Right now? No. No, in Boston, remember? I remember, he. Oh, right.

Came out of my shoulder. Cheered too hard. Wait, ready? Yeah. Oh. Wow. Can we get an instant replay on that? My cool spell.

Yeah. Foundry VTT. Yeah. Nice. Can't find a blue on, huh? Nope. The only thing that shoots is acid. It's a green pea.

I just got green. Cool. Round two. That's what she Cool. Round two! That's what she does. Round two. It's getting smoky in here. It's getting smoky in her.

Should I raise the stakes? No. Oh. Oh. I asked, should I raise the steaks? Yeah. Yeah. We're having steaks for dinner. Yum. That would have been amazing. Oh, it would have been.

If on the second request, you were just kind of like quiet. Yeah. I guess I won't be. All right. All right. I guess no one suffocates. All right. We're gonna start getting into suffocation,

and this is real, real bad. Okay, I'm going to talk about it. Let's talk about it like friends. Let's pretend for their benefit that we're all friends. You take five plus your con, John, your con bonus. Skid has a plus one, that would mean six. Matthew has a plus three. Kate has a plus one, that would mean six. Matthew has a plus three. Kate has a minus one, which would be four.

Joe has a zero, which would be five. Sydney has a plus two, which would be seven. What are all these numbers I'm saying? Every round that you're suffocating in here, you lose one point from that total. If you act in any way, take an attack, cast a spell, you lose two. If you get crit against or critically fail against something,

you lose another one. That's not true. If you critically fail a saving throw against. That's what I'm saying. All right, so if you critically miss, you don't take. No, it's only if you critically fail some sort of area effect, like it's explosion, for example. Yeah.

You would lose another one on top of that. So you gotta figure, you're gonna do shit, that's two. And then if you crit value down three, once you get to zero, death is on the table. You start rolling fortitude saves, where the DCs get higher and higher, you critically fail permadeath. Wait, you said if we move, we lose. No, moving is okay. Okay, okay. You can move all day long. Okay.

So we have to just, we have to escape. We have to leave. We can't win this fight. We have to leave. Well, you're doing pretty darn good. I will tell you that. You've killed one instantly, and these three have all taken damage now, but yes

very high risk very low reward So we should leave so so leave so there's no reward we leave travel over the Linden's corpse Make it to the exits make round two sure normal the pious there is a creature on you won't have to roll concealment and I can just attack yeah okay I will I will just swing with the long sword and I still get a plus one from this okay the

long sword that you held during the entire meeting how else was I going to show that I was paying attention? Yes. By wielding a deadly weapon. Okay, I don't think that's going to do it. That's going to be a 16 to hit. You want to tap that cap? I don't know. With your highest attack bone? No.

Wait. Oh. OK. I was just going to say, add this into the thing. You're definitely losing a round of con already. Yeah, by making actions. And you have a very good chance to hit this thing. I've now got you down to six.

He brings up a good point. You've already lost one. It happens at the end of my turn, thank you very much. Oh, sorry. I'm going to swing again. Okay same roll natural four. Oh So that'll miss again and then sir Norville will gonna miss him did they have Concealment when they were five feet away. Yeah Trying to decide if I

should step or raise my shield get the plus two from the raised shield all right I'll raise my shield a lot of shield haters over on this side of the crowd raising the shield to get a plus two and now I can net plus one don't forget you have a penalty to your AC tonight it's for down to I don't want to say stop is I think that stops now at the end of history it was at the end of your turn yeah so I don't even want to call it six rounds it's six John's essentially because every time you do something you lose to no Chris not true you it's if you do something on your turn you you take another one.

Right, if you don't attack or cast a spell. Oh, so you don't lose one for each action? No, no, no. Oh, okay. I was like, that's insane. Yeah, no, but it's still real, real bad. It's two if you do something on your turn. It's a ticking clock.

Is essentially what's happening here, but it's not. Did you bring enough for everyone, Sydney? Yeah. What do you got over there? What are you eating over there? Stephanie made us a bunch of unique D20s. They're so cute. D20 cookies.

Oh yes, sorry. She's not eating dice. She's not eating D20. You're listening to the live audio. She's eating D20. She's not eating dice. These are really good, Stephanie. Cookies, and not only do they look super cool, they're also very delicious. Thank you, Stephanie. She's eating these one I didn't dice. These are really good stuff

And not only do they look super cool. They're also very delicious. Thank you Stephanie. Do you want this one? I had the Christmas. She made me a Christmas one. I ate it backstage Let the record stay I caught that without screaming yes If you're listening to the audio, that was Joe screaming. Woo! Alright, Sir Norville. Now gambling with his life. Takes two swings and misses pathetically. It is the flaming skull next to Killian's turn.

It gets back on you. You're pulling it towards you with your fingers and it sockets like a Galarian bowling ball. And it just goes wham! Like I imagine most of your Irish uncles did at a family gathering 28 to hit oh yeah, that'll hit grit It's ridiculous. We're having a good time here. We go bludge. We're gonna do

Eight points of bludge Three points of fire that's 11 if you're counting at home It has one more attack. This is with the map Feel the 20 come up no Max damage crit feel 20 here it comes coming It's not a 20 however, it is a 22. That is a hit. Take a little more damage to the tune of eight more bludgeoning

and two more fire. Shit, 21 damage. Ten points more. Good news is, that's the end of its turn. Next flaming skull. This is super hairy. Super hairy. This one is gonna go and try to headbutt certain orval. Orval. Whatever the fuck your name is. No, you gotta write it the first time.

Okay. Ah, shit. 19. Miss. Penis. Alright, I'm gonna do it again even though it's stupid, because these things aren't... I don't think they're super smart. I think it would be like, I'll try it again. It's got a minus five to intelligence. Yeah. It's not Einstein's skull. Nice. Nice kid. Dirty 20. And then final attack, I'm gonna spit fire, or attempt to spit fire at Helena. Very low chance to hit, but I know you have

the worst AC in the group. Helena. Helena. I'll call her whatever I want. Thank you. This is my story. First the flat check, and we'll move on. Yes!

Yes! Wow. Missed on the flat jaw. All right. Flaming Skull up top here. Near... Oswin. Mmm!

Getting back on you with its first action. Ah! And then wham! 19. Miss. Yes! Oswin! It's gotta be a good roll.

Alright, let's see. You know the 20s coming. Not, not now. Miss! Yeah, alright, alright, alright. Good round. Alright, big, big round here! Yeah, all right. All right. All right. Good route. All right big big round here Oswin Killian Helena andromeda before we go into round three taking clocks abound Oswin your con John

Situation you've got six John's Okay, I don't know what you're saying But I'm keeping track. So he's got this like choke thick choking smoke like getting into his lungs, his coughing, his eyes watering. There is a flaming skull snapping at his ear like right next to his head. He pushes all of that out of his mind. See? Now that is a stud. He hunts prey against the skull by Killian.

The one, the one, yeah, that he's holding. Oh! He hunts prey, spends an action doing that. And then with his other two actions, he's going to take Hunter's aim and fire at that skull. Oh! It's right there for you, dude! Finish it! I'm gonna dab my cap! Oh! It was a natural two. He's dabbing that cap! I'm dabbing the cap. Okay that is a 30 to hit. That is a critical hit. Yeah!

Okay. Holy shit. Yeah. What did he say? He says, ugh! That is 34 points of damage. See ya! Oh wait, now I'm gonna get hurt. Yeah, a couple things are

gonna happen. Boom! It explodes! I need Killian, Andromeda, and the Investigator Quinn to roll a reflex save. Guaranteed. I'm up pretty high, just wanna say. Aren't I like 10 feet up? Oh, that's fair. You don't have to roll it. Okay. Oh, nice. Good for you.

Okay. Blocked by a stack of flammable crates. I don't know why I can't get this fucking thing. No, mate. No, he's not here, mate. It looks like you rolled really well, Joe. Maybe? Don't... It actually doesn't even matter what you rolled. It actually, we can like skip that. What did you roll? Sydney, I'd like you to explain our interaction just now.

Joe, while shaking the dice in his hand really professionally, it was like, guarantee this fumble right now. I guarantee this fumble right now because suffocation and everything and this will be a fumble and then I'll die. Then he rolls it. Natural one.

You never have to wonder, who gave me this shitty die? It was the guy who was like going to the grab bag. Yeah, damn it, thanks man. Yeah, it's all right, tell your friend he's an idiot. You're like such a tragic self-fulfilling prophecy. Like you knew you were gonna do it. Ready for some damage? Yeah. I think he's gonna go down. Oh no. 10 piercing, 10 fire.

Oh no. 20 points of damage. Okay, he does not go down yet Let me roll for Quinn natural to Say that's a critical fumble and he takes Twelve points of damage. We'll say he's still up unlike Melinda. He's a little hardier Barely! Killian! No!

Two skulls down, two to go. Oswin's number goes from six to four. Oswin, are you done? Yeah. Okay. Moving on. What? I was answering for him. He clearly didn't hear. Killian, how many hit points do you have left?

I have nine hit points left. Oh. Oh, it's my turn. All right. So this thing explodes in his face. He's gonna turn. Look. Oh god, this goddamn concealment. He's gonna turn, look across at Oswin. He's gonna say, Oswin, look out! And then he's going to reach into his bag, and he's going to quick alchemy out a ghost charge bomb. Oh, hell yeah! And then throw a bomb at this creature that does pure vitality damage.

Oh! Let's just hit that concealment roll, should be easy. I only need a five, Matthew. Ooh, Natty's 16. All right, there we go. Great. There we go. And then to hit, to plus one.

That's a 20! Yes! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Yes!

Oh! The lows and the highs. It must be exhausting to be you, dude. The roller coaster of emotion. It's like a Sean Kemp dunk. It was awesome. Who gave me this gray one? Blackish one, it's awesome. You're cool, and all your friends are cool too.

Alright. So... Let's go- oh wait. This is range- sorry, I need a second, I wasn't prepared. Oh! No! Just hit the back button. Just hit the back button. Just hit the back button.

Ranged fan critical from someone in the... Is it... it's ranged and not magic, right? Stop. No, it's ranged. It's ranged. Excellent. Excellent. I didn't want a magic crit or anything.

Okay, let's see. Excellent. I didn't want to magic crit or anything. I mean. I mean. Okay, let's see. Seattle, Seattle. Yeah, well, yeah. Okay, sorry. This one from Josh in Edmonds, Washington. Hi, Josh. Anybody? Josh?

Josh? They're just cheering for anybody. Okay. Okay, on second thought, you notice an opening on another target that is too tempting to resist double damage. If your next attack is on against a different target than this one, gain a plus two circumstance bonus. Oh, that's fun. That's fun. Okay, so let's do... I rolled terrible damage. What a bummer, oh boy. It's hurt.

Yeah, and it does, sorry. It does do vitality damage. Okay. And it's, oh my God. I'm sorry. Are you on MapQuest? He's trying to load Netscape. Why is you on MapQuest? He's trying to load Netscape.

That's been dead for years. Come on Magellan, hey. It's not going to work. Unfortunately, it is only 12 points of vitality damage. It had eight hit points. But of course it explodes all over Oswin. Oswin, I need a reflex save. He's taking a lot of damage over there.

Reflux, that's a 22. That is a regular save. You're gonna take two points of piercing and two points of fire damage. Okay. Just chip chip chip it away at those head points. And then Killian is going to, uh, like holding his breath, desperately try to run out of here. Uh... He is already down to two.

Two rounds till death. Oh my god. Oh, let's take a look. Because he had five and that one round was three. Cause he acted. Wait, I'm confused. No, no, you only lose, it's just per jump. If you do something in your round.

I critically failed the saving throw. One. I already take one. One. Then I did an action. No, it's two instead of one for doing the action and one for the critical failure. So three. So I'm down to two.

I only had five to start. You will die next round. So yeah, he's... Oh no, my speed is way faster than that. So he's going to keep running. Yeah, so he'll get next to Sir Norville and Helena on the way out back to the door we came in. He's just holding his breath and running.

One, two, three skulls down. This room is suffocating all of you. After that heroic deed, you are now possibly one round away from rolling for your life. And there is still one skull left. And we'll be back right after this quick. Oh, it's already intermission. Let me! Go get a couple pops, tip those bartenders,

we'll be right back. Woo! What's gonna happen? What's gonna happen? We're back! Go! Woo! Matthew said he's feeling jet lagged. Very. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Matthew said he's feeling jet lagged. Very. That's why he's eating a cookie. Those cookies are so delicious. They're really good. I've already had three. I need to not eat any more of these cookies tonight. Why are you looking at me like that?

You ate three? You ate three cookies? Did I hear love? Did I hear they have love in them? That's what I heard. Don't say that. I had three. I'll have more later. That's a lot of cookies. They're very delicious, though. If left to my own devices, I would have devoured the entire box. Folks, they may still be in the fire, so I don't have a pun. We're at the end of round two.

We're burning the midnight oil. There it is. There he goes. There we go. Leave it to Skid. Killian, you've started to make a run for it, but there's still one more enemy left in the room, and it is Helena's turn. It's my turn. I've given you

extra time to think about it. I know which is the worst because now when I make the wrong choice that you all hate you're gonna be like oh she had so much time to think about it. Why did she not listen? Make the wrong choice. I'm gonna do what my heart would do and what Helena's heart would do. Melinda, beloved Melinda. Before you check in on your heart,

let me just mention that as Killian comes running through the flames, there is blood pouring out of literally every open hole in his body. It seems like he will die immediately. There is blood pouring out of literally every open hole in his body. It seems like he will die... ...immediately.

So what are you trying to say, Joe? I was just trying to decorate the scene. I wanted her to see the whole environment. Unfortunately, with the smoke, you don't see much of that. He looks fine. I'm sorry, let me roll a concealment check so you can see that. I saw it. Yeah, I'm sorry. Let me roll a concealment check so you can see that. I saw it. Yeah. So yeah, she saw Melinda drop dead.

She hears a lot of kerfuffle going on, I guess behind the crates. She can't see past them. She's not sure who's alive, who's dead. So she's going to do, pow, three action heal. Oh! Oh, the good stuff! So she's going to do three action heal That our little skull friend here has to roll fortitude say oh right oh yeah Oh, sure it's it you're attacking this thing with a three action

No, no, no, you're good. You're good. Oh, you're doing that and it affects these on yes Yes, beaches fortitude fortitude, please. Okay And it affects these undead... Yes....fiatches. Fortitude? Fortitude, please. Okay. Here we go. 90-19. Oh. Oh.

Well, what's the total? Total is a 24. Okay, that's just a regular success. You're a regular. Oh, my god. So you take half damage, though. Okay. To the tune of...

It's a... Well, I need to roll. Hold on. Oh, let me just, oh god my dice, they're just so big. So big. Oh! Alright. Oh! Oh! Ah, she's making fun of you.

27 points of healing to everyone within 30 feet. Oh, shit! Wow. Hell yeah! Wow! She's making fun of you. 27 points of healing to everyone within 30 feet. Wow. Hell yeah. Wow. So then 13 points of damage to the guy. Okay. To the guy.

That can't be right. 2D8 plus 16. 2D8. It's just 2D8. 2D8 plus 16. Not on a three action. I know. Only two actions do you get the plus 16.

Yeah. Suki learned this the hard way. Massive difference. It's written very confusingly in the program we used. Couldn't be more clear. No, my s- No, it's not clear. Literally couldn't be more clear. So I'm using Hero Lab and it's like 2d8 plus 16.

It's hard to be a healer. Anyway, so if it's 2d8, it's 11. 11. That's still great. That's half. No, no, no. 11 points of healing to everyone. For's half? No, no, no. 11 points of healing to everyone.

For you it'd be five points of damage. Vitality damage. Right, I'll take a little extra. And. And. Vitality strikes terror in the undead. When I use a heal spell to damage undead, any undead that fails saving throws also frightened one and you passed.

Can we move on with the show? By the way Kate now goes from four to two because she had a minus one to her con. Oh. Not Kate, Helena. But still you know what I'm talking about. Now, to end the round. Standing atop oily rags and barrels of Bacardi?

And the town's most precious artwork is Andromeda Quinn. Yeah, Andromeda coughing, is looking for Killian, doesn't see him where he was when he was fighting the skull that she helped out with. Killian! Over here! No, no, no. I swin! If you speak, you lose all of your air and you go to zero. Okay.

Actually, I didn't do that. Actually, actually that was in my head. I wasn't going to be a dick, but that is true. Okay. Thank you. She's, this is Flamer. I was going to be a dick. This is Flamer.

She's just... You would go to zero and then fall off the crates Pile of your own blood seen that movie. That's a rule See it one day. It's just too late. So instead, yeah, she's coughing, she can't see anybody, she's feeling around on the boxes, she feels something heavy. She imagines it's like a whetstone, like a sharpening knife block. And she just picks it up and she hurls it towards the skull. And like a cartoon, it stops and freezes right above

the skull and then plummets down as fast as it can go I'm doing telekinetic projectile casting the spell. You threw it with your hands? No I'm disflavoring them. We're having fun. Alright give me... But just to be clear you're at two? No no no I'm at seven six five I'm at five. She at five, so at the end of this turn she'll be at the ring. She started at seven, she will be five. She started at seven. She's got decent con. Now, Telekinetic Projectile, I don't think you need to...

Yeah, Concealment. It's an attack. Okay, give me your Concealment. Yeah. Alright, so Concealment. Yeah, okay. Yep, got it. And then... What'd you roll?

A 13. Okay. Lucky 13. Here we go. Yep, got it and then what you roll a 13 like 13 Yeah You're gonna get the cap and adapt my cap. Okay. Yeah, cap that I Guarantee you will fail this second roll. Wow. Wow. Wow. He's calling my shot. He's calling his shot. Calling my shot.

Here in the home of Babe Ruth. Hey. Seattle, Washington. I believe it was Tomiko who gave me these dice, these whiskey, amber-y dye. I used one as my bottle cap tonight, so thank you. That was very helpful. And I'm gonna use my bottle cap tonight. So thank you. That was very helpful. And I'm going to use your D20 to roll. Thank you. I always announce it and then I roll bad. So sorry

ahead of time. 27. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Damn it! Not a crit though, right? Not a crit. Okay.

Man, that would've been cool. That would've been awesome. I guaranteed it wouldn't be a crit. Okay. Okay. So this is gonna be a 2d6 bludgeoning. 2d6 bludge? Bludge.

Eight. Still up. Eight bludge. 8. Still up. 8, bludge. OK. That's great. I didn't want to kill it on you guys, so that's OK, I guess. And you move to 5. So that's 2, and I'm going to move.

Oh, that was only two actions. Yeah, sorry, two actions. I'm going to move off of the boxes, feeling my way down. And I'd like to move behind yeah Killian so she just kind of stumbles back down and then feels does it talk it's about to talk again god damn it she feels the back of Killian and holding her breath just nods and gives a thumbs up nod in Killian's direction. All right great. I know Let's examine the scene here. Oh good

It's like it's crazy, this is lard. That's what does this She put this great cookie I've ever had in my life All right, so top of round three. You would think you could defeat this enemy in this round. There's one left. You would think, but the dice have a mind of their own. And some of you, should you take an offensive action here, you will go down. Kate, for example. Wait, wait. Helena.

You will go down? No, Kate will go down. Kate would lose two. Or you just have to roll fortitude, for example. Wait, wait. Helena. You will go down? No, Kate will go down. Kate would lose two. Or you just have to roll fortitude saves. Well, you will go down and then you start rolling fortitude saves. So you could go unconscious immediately. Yeah, if Kate, if Helena takes an offensive action, she will go down. Critical failure on a fortitude save at that point is permadeath.

Game over. Now maybe she won't take an action but she's still gonna lose one. So you need to defeat this thing and you need to find a way out. Skin. It is not your turn. I know it's not my turn why the fuck did you say that? I know it's not my turn, why the fuck did you say my turn? It is Sir Norval the Pious' turn. At the top of round three. This thing is on you. And I'm at six rounds. I'll tell you what you're at, big guy. You're at six. You'll live forever. I'll live forever. Okay, let's swing at this one that's on me.

Kill it! Kill it! Ohhhh I'm dapping the camera. Oh he's dapping it! Oh I guaranteed it. I rolled a natural six. Re-rolled. Natural five. Oh I hate to see it. Second action. Wait a natural six isolled natural five oh you hate to see it second act wait a natural six was a miss no six was a no 17 really yeah right in the bus one for

my crit was gone so I'm assuming a 17 misses it wasn't off guard it does yeah and you already rolled again anyway okay here we go you should be fine, okay, no 24 to him. Yeah, that's a hit yes Extra 1d4 vitality extra 1d4 by Joe. What's up? Okay 15 points of slashing and four points of vitality, okay, okay? The good news is you kill it. Yeah! Oh no.

The bad news is this thing explodes and three of you are within its radius. Shit, I forgot immediately. Helena, Sir Norval, and Killian need to recall a Reflex

Say so we need to and if we fail it bad things happen No fucking problem this power is called fiery explosion. No a greater name. I could not have come up with myself Oh, wait, can I just like not roll you can? I'll just give you max damage Save everybody time Okay, all right deal Yeah, I'm not gonna Alright, I think by the way, correct me if I'm wrong,

all of you have dapped your caps. Yeah. No. Oh, you haven't dapped your cap? Oh, yeah. How convenient. Yeah, I know. Should we bring your cap from home?

What? Oh. Roll your reflex save. All right. Skid and Sydney, you may watch on in horror. Okay. Gonna dapp my cap. No!

No caps. No caps. Caps are all daps. Back to the way it's supposed to be. A world of undapped caps. That's not a verb. Dap is not really a verb. You watch, by Gen Con, everyone's gonna wear in t-shirts and say, Dap that cap, I Dap that cap in Seattle. I'm Dap, I'm Dap. It's got actually, I kinda like that. What'd you roll? 14. Oh Joseph, that's not good. Fail.

Shit. You want your damage or you wanna go down the line? I want my damage. Two ones on two D6s. Oh yes! Snake eyes! So one piercing, one fire. Wow. Kaeclyn. 17? That's a fail as well. You did not fare as well as Joe. Yeah, why are you rolling again? Because I'm having fun. No, that's not how it works.

The fire hits you anyway I want it to hit you. It's one explosion. It's one explosion. Yeah, but you're standing in different places. Shut up. Oh, so the next time I break... That's not the rules. The next time we cast a fireball, we roll for every enemy?

I believe I've done this explosion this way every single time. Well if there's no rules, I cast a wish spell. The real question is just, if you rolled a five and a six, you'd re-roll it for Kate. I was planning on doing individual rolls. Great, I believe you. You're not a liar. What is wrong with you?

Joe! The rules matter to Joe when they matter to Joe. Based on your position near the explosion, some of you took higher damage. Six piercing, four fire. Oh! That's illegal. I want to see all you guys in the threads after this.

Killian and Molina are equidistant from the explosion. What did you roll? 16. Fail. You know what, take the same damages, so maybe. Ha ha ha ha all of the skulls are dead. But all is not well. Sir Norville goes down to four. Or do you have an action left? I think you had one action left. Yes I do. Or are you unconscious and dying? No, I have one action left. Okay, so sir Norville will begin moving towards the ladder. Okay

Everyone's unconscious right? No one has fallen around him. Yes, you just walk over the corpse of your former lover Clutch your mouth Because I'm holding my breath I can no longer pay tribute to Melinda. Smart, fiery-spirited Melinda. This is going to be very interesting. Melinda of the Greengrass. He talks about all women this way. No, you're doing this in your mind. Yes, this is me saying this is what Zer Norvo

would have said. Ah, if he could speak. I was clearly not doing his voice. Okay, fair. These blast points, far too accurate for sand people. Only a pair of your storm troopers are so precise. It is Oswin's turn. Oswin, it seems like the other members

in the room have crushed the flaming skulls that they were fighting and everyone is scrambling towards the exit choking. Okay, so Oswin has noted, he has picked up on the fact that the enemies have been defeated.

Luckily, he has always been fleet of foot. He in fact has the fleet feet. And his feet are fleet feet. Is this a Dr. Seuss? Yeah. He was at the NFL Combine, he would have scored very well in the 40 yard dash. And so he can move like pretty good. So he is going to pull his breath.

Watch out for that intermittent unexplained explosion. Whoa! It got really smoky. Okay, it's very smoky now. That's right. That's right. Academically ineligible in Dica. That's what he's smoking. He's gonna be dashing across the room.

It's been one action. Actually, yeah, he can get to the ladder in two actions. And he's gonna start climbing the ladder. Nice. All right, so Oswin starts climbing the ladder. climbing the ladder. Nice. All right, so Oswin starts climbing the ladder. I have to move him now down from four to three

because you did not take any offensive actions. It is Killian's turn. Killian is obviously hurt. He's holding his breath. Andromeda comes down behind him, reaches out, touches him, and he's not gonna go ahead of her. So he reaches out behind and is just kind of pushing you and urging you to go forward.

So I guess technically that's gonna be a delay. I'm gonna delay. Yeah! To make sure that she's getting out. What a gentleman. Always playing to the crowd, Joe and Brian. Wow. Give the people what they want.

Little Joey Half-Round. Joey Half-Round. He's not even playing a castor, he's like, I delay. Joey Half-Round. Joey Half-Round. Sorry. Sorry.

Oh, that is a little Joey Half-Round. That doesn't make any sense. And he's just busy doing the right thing. Sorry. Sorry. All right, Alaina, it's your turn. Yeah, she's also going to run up to the ladder, but. What did you call him at lunch? What did I call him? Was it Joey Half Sush, or was it?

Oh no. What was it? Joey Half, what was it? Joey Half Tuna? Wait. There's literally 17 or 18 a day, so I don't remember. We all had sake,

and he got a beer. Well, Joey Half Sandwich was the original one. Was he Joey No-Sack? Joey No-Sack. Joey No-Sack. We have a lot of fun together. It's mostly that joke about Joe.

We actually made this joke yesterday when we were at Dim Sum and Joe wasn't even there. We make fun of you all the time. They were all like, we want to go get Dim Sum. And I was like, oh god. Joe was, I thought we were going out.

Joe's reaction to Dim Sum was as if I had asked him to eat dirt. He was horrified. I mean, you don't know what you're eating. It might be dirt. What? I know what you're eating. It's a menu.

It's literally a menu. I don't want that. And immediately, and immediately Kate is like, Joe, don't be afraid of dim sum. Like so calmly. What's so funny is like, it was was like soup dumplings like Joe would have loved it But he pooped it. He didn't get to come no Joey knows Joey knows some Well Joey half rounds done, so it's Helena's turn everybody at that table has problems with sums. Joe, Sydney.

Nice. Come on. You know what? Undap that cash. That was good. Let's be honest. They're both a little dim. That was good. Let's be honest, they're both a little dim.

Helena, you're up. I'll undap my cap. That's not cool, man. Helena's going to run up to the ladder and follow Oswin up it. Fuck you! Yeah, what my friend Joey Hapsay was saying. It's a dim sum table, you guys. I'm gonna start hitting you with dice. Let me go.

Before someone drops a D20 on you. Alright, so you make your way to the ladder first action. Yeah, I'm gonna follow Osmond up the ladder. Alright, so you're just gonna like go past him? I mean, I don't know if I can. Ladies first! Can. But if I can, I would because she knows she's about to like suffocate. Well, you're in a position because you only did one move action right? To get to there? Yeah I've got 30 feet of movement.

Alright so if you wanted to he's almost at the top of the ladder you could scurry your way past him to try and open the door if you wanted to. I think she does that she's like and she's like reaching. Reaching. And you go to push the trap door and it doesn't move. What if I punch the door? You take. No, I don't. I don't want to take an offense of action. I rolled a d20 for damage.

20 points of damage. You rolled a natural 20? Get it out of the way now. Alright, so you scurry past Oz when gunk, gunk, punch, ow! It's locked. Or something is blocking it. I love the idea of her like climbing over my back on the ladder. It's like, what are you doing? Look at this!

And of course course since the Punch on the trap door was an attack action All right, that's fine You said punch You now have one round left before you start rolling death saves. Joey, half round. You still want to hang out down there? Yeah, he's waiting for Andromeda. He's not going to leave before her. Well, good, because it's Andromeda's turn. Andromeda, you just hear...

And you can deduce that something's wrong with the trap door Okay I just want to make sure I have this con action economy correct, okay? I'm going to move my full movement To get oops hold on I gotta move there's two people on the ladder right now. Oh To get oops hold on I gotta move there's two people on the ladder right now. Oh Did I double my oh mine's being weird let me reload sorry

I lost internet let me alright. I'm just gonna tell you what I do okay. Talk me through it I move my full movement over to the ladder. I'm gonna add more smoke while you think. Run. Yep. Stop. No, no, no. No! Too much smoke! Bring me back! That's way too much smoke. She's just sprinting around the room, wasting energy and her oxygen. Wow, there's so much smoke. She's panicking, she's running in a circle, she's absolutely freaking out, and oh, she's out of oxygen, and she dies. Now, she's going to be right there at the base of the ladder, and she can see with what limited vision she has in this extremely... What are you doing? Someone just died. Oh no, I just saw dead. No, get the skull off of me.

She sees in this very dim light, I'd like to cast a spell. Okay. I have three con points left. This will cost me two. To just... You're fine on con. You're at five con points. I like that. So if you take an action here if I take a defensive action too And then the next round if I don't do anything probably fine. I'm fine because moving doesn't cost You always lose one, but I'll take you out of action. It's another one as long as they can figure a way out okay

Here to jump Harsk permanently dies in the Galarian lore. Oh You hear that I Know I know if some pies are represented It's making note of this like future cannon that like he's dead. Sorry Adam and Cosmo Adam Yeah, tell Eric Mota that Harsk is dead He died in Seattle he's dead where he was born. Sorry. Howden that Harsk is dead. He died in Seattle. He's dead. Where he was born. How is old Harsky?

That will be his first question. How was the show? How did Harsk do? He died. Here's my question. Here's the question I had. For a telekinetic projectile, I can cast it again, cause it's a cantrip for me, but it says creature.

Can I not target, like, the trap door? Mmm. Mmm! Does it have a soul? Does it have... Does it have a hardness? Like, could I... Yeah, I mean, it's against a...

It doesn't say creature so much. You targets one creature, right? But when you read the thing, says against the targets AC, okay So I think that you know target says one creature I just want to be rid of what you're trying to do here is that yeah, you can do it. Okay, cool Yeah, so she the AC of the trap door is 39 I'm going to roll my die now. So concealment for the door. Let's start with the concealment roll. Okay. I figured. Three. No. Wow! I rolled a 13 for every concealment. That's awesome. Wow. All right so now I'm gonna do a range. She feels for something.

There's like a heavy plate. Another sharpening stone. Just sitting around. Another whetstone. That's weird. There's a shelf full of wet stones. This is a weird place. So many wet stones. And rum. Yeah, it's all wet stones and liquor down here. And rum. I rolled another 17 for the hit. This dice is awesome. It's loaded.

Nice. It's loaded on 13s and 17s. That's weird. 27 to hit this door. Let me check my notes. Is it a crit? I wrote extensively a stat box for this trap door 27 you said barely hits it

so a regular success Eight points of damage Doop doop doop doop doom you've made some in the door, and the smoke is starting to billow out. Okay. You might make it. That's my turn. It's the top of round four. Kill him.

He'll go. Oh. He'll start running after Andromeda right behind her. Oh yeah. I would say they hold each other as they run for storytelling. Yeah, following her out, and then he's holding

his breath and sees that they're all traffic jam at the ladder. And shoo man, this is interesting. Yeah, he can't do anything. He realizes he's almost dead. And so that's it. You're gonna lose one. He just moves to the left the yeah, okay, so he loses one anyway But if I do anything don't die conscious, so well you're good. So he's holding the and Eyes are going bloodshot and he can barely see he's holding on to Andromeda shoulder is like a guide and Yeah, it's looking bad all right So if you don't do anything you're gonna go from three to two if you were to do two to one

You already at two yes, I have you at three. Oh, that's right. I didn't the critical family all right, so you're I've been sad for a bit cuz I don't think You're so close. But this is how stories are told. Just when you think you're out, Sir Norval, what do you do? Did, it looked like the, even though there was copious amounts of fog. Yes, I added some more. Sheepers!

Yeah, that looks awesome. Alright, I guess I'll just go back to the speed as well. That's like a ghost scare. You see this horrible image to the... At least here we see something. They look like the telekinetic projection I

actually did broke through. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Good thing I have my sword draw sword drawn. So Norville is going to scramble up and try to draw on for you have combat climber. Joe, what the fuck? What the fuck? Fun sucker. Just saying. Why? Why would you? I did. I did actually sucker. But I did a good did. It's a good feat. It's a good feat. It's a real good feat.

Good to save your friend's life in a smoky basement. I would say I'm going to look around for another exit, but... I think we're pretty stuck here. I think we're... I think that... So I will sheath my sword. And climb up the ladder and try to burst it open with my back. There's now seven people on the ladder. I know.

It cracks under the weight. You all fall to the ground. A quick jump to the top. Alright, so you're just going to try and like Mario the draptor? Yes. I love it. I'm just gonna try and like Mario the draptor. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I love it though.

Alright, we're all set. We're all set by Drops board right now. We have it ready. Do you want to hit or a strength check? Strength check. Strength check might be fun, but I feel like you're punching the door. Punch the door.

Do you know what I'm saying is a strength check? Yeah, no, do a punch. Attack the door. Alright, no do punch attack the door all right a puncher with your fist God Natural three all right well, it's a 13 to hit what was the door that was the chapter is AC It's a door shit

Should I let a 14 hit? Just lie! It's a door! They said no, I'm sorry, I can't do it. Who said you want? If you had rolled like this... Alright, it was a 3, but 13? I'd be like, that's a hit! But you were like...

You were giving a shit about the ACP 37? Dude, this is a whole thing. It's a whole thing. You can't do it. He understands. You can't react to the die. Well, you just go You just go yes 14 Yeah, no, you're right. It puts the gym in an entirely different psychological It's like the catcher framing the pitch It's like the catcher framing the pitch. Exactly what it is. Exactly what it's like. So unfortunately you miss. Right, Sydney? Yes, it's where they pretend to know what the pitcher's doing.

No, it's not. I like framing, like framing someone for a robbery or something. At least at the professional level, we really, really hope the catcher knows what the pitcher's doing every pitch. Wait, wait, I'm sorry. I made a mistake. Oh, 14! Yeah!

Yes! Woo! Oh my God, is that it? No. Does it get through? Listen to the way the crowd is reacting. That's got to be it. Oh, wait, I did it wrong.

Oh my God, I made a mistake. 13! Yeah! You have to. Someone cast Bless on the door. Wait, did you really roll a 14? No, I rolled a 13. 13. You have one more attack, right?

No. I moved, I sheathed, and I moved. Alright, here's what I'm going to do. I'm let's get his take his turn so generous. He's some door some door and that's some door another two for you. Yes, yes that brings Sir Norville to two. Oh no, this is going to be a TV. This is embarrassing. We die. Os basement? Oswin is at three. No chance. Oswin's got this.

Oswin, you're up there. You're like right next to Helena, holding onto the ladder. You just see this giant knight come and punch and whiff on the door. This little billows of smoke. I'm just gonna like stacked up like this clump of people at the top of this ladder. It's like climbing over each other. Can I do a thievery check? I'm already at the top of the ladder. Can I do a thievery check?

Yes, yes. Yes. Come on Oswin, save us. Save us Oswin. I'm gonna dapp my newly undapped. Oh he's dappin' his new. I dapp my newly undabbed. Oh, he's I'd tap that cap and see ya. Alright, twenty two to tink.

You unlock the trap. Oh Unlock it you push it open the smoke starts building out and you will all survive. Yeah God damn I Will clear the fog Some serious fog. The building's still on fire. The basement's on fire. Harsk has fallen unconscious. The woman is burnt, but the others are running up.

Some of you are like moments away from death. So you start piling into the tavern. And yeah, it just continues to burn down there. Call the fire brigade. Is the main, let me get back to like the first floor. Is that on fire? No. Like the whole building? No.

No, just the basement. Huh. So the rest of the building is safe. The rest of the building seems to be okay right now, but the fire is starting to come up into the, you know, while the smoke is filling the upstairs, it's not as dense as it was down there. And, you know, there's ways for it to get out. It's a much larger space upstairs.

But you know it won't be long before everything starts catching on fire. Everyone scatter. Killian will activate the fire brigade. We are on patrol. That's our story. Everyone else get back to your homes. Well, can we get all the NPCs out of there? That's who I'm talking. Everyone except Harsk and Melinda. But luckily, this privateer captain made it. Are you looking at the map right now? Yes. There's a privateer captain. And Quinn.

Not to mention Charming Scoundrel. Glad he survived. And Maui. From Moana. And of course Pathfinder field agent you're made it in us awesome well you don't see it I don't have the internet anymore yeah you got to just re-log it we connect to it you got to re-log in every four minutes for some reason yeah do we need the map right now no No. Well, it would be funny to see all those pawns. I mean, I think this is hilarious, but yes.

So, Sir Norvo will tell all of these, uh, this motley crew of NPCs to scatter and go back to their homes. And he'll, and then we'll, the idea is that Killy and I were out on out on patrol We saw the smoke and we called the fire brigade, okay The privateer captain says my home is a boat And he leaves And Maui turns into a bird and flies away flies away. Ghee hoo hoo. We had a Debbie God here the whole time. The other guy says, listen, I'm just a charming scoundrel.

I sleep wherever I need to sleep. And they all do something funny like this. OK. As the building burns down. The building is burning down, they're all going to get an exit line. Yes. Before we depart, though, Andromeda says to the group, As the building burns down they're all gonna get an exit line. Yes Before we depart though Andromeda says to the group

Are we going to meet to discuss what we heard or? This is we go home And we don't speak of it Now we should meet we got suit this is the third of your second appearance of the undead and inside the town limits. And clearly this call started the fire. I think we can agree. Is that does that seem logical or was the fire? I mean, I want to do a perception for like anybody else in the area.

Like outside the building, he's like looking warily up and down the street. Yeah. Like if anyone somebody just set this they would be there by me yeah but it doesn't make any sense that it was only in the basement which is inaccessible I assume except for the trap door are there any kind of like symbols or like anathema to sidana somewhere that someone planted all right so you only have so much time in the bar itself, obviously, because things are you're trying to get everybody out.

You're really searching outside as the building starts to catch fire on the upper floors as well. The inn will say this connected to the tavern is in a separate building, so you don't have to worry about that. But the tavern itself is gonna go up in flames you get outside as the fire starts to climb up the walls of this tavern and every give me a perception check 24 22 for Killian 20 for a natural not too bad. Natural 20. No, unnatural.

Unnatural 20. An abinormal 20. Abinormal. There are tracks going every which way, as it is a very popular bar in this town. Did you say we were looking for footprints? That's literally not what we said. Not necessarily what we were looking at. It's night. Okay. I know, but. And you see no one,

but several tracks, as if this place was frequented by many people today. Not to mention the 12 people that were downstairs at that meeting. Any sigils or glyphs no sigils no glyphs. I Guess that it's kind of silly to hope But the sigils outside You notice a magic circle with a demonic symbol directly at the town square No, you just as you're sitting there looking around looking to see if you could catch anyone who may have done this, you realize that this is this is an act of arson. This had to have been some act of arson by a person or by a group of people. They either dropped things in there to the basement or maybe they conjured these skeletons.

How they were connected, you don't know. About this. This Eldrin guy. Killian's gonna grab him by the collar before he gets away. He like pulls him close and he's like, Who did you talk to this meeting about? Who did you talk to that didn't come? I just talked to the people that my father trusted. People like you to that didn't come I just talked to the the

people that my father trusted people like you who didn't come who did you talk to that didn't come you fool someone is this place don't you told it you take it at the end of the sword on the way you see a bit of switcher talk like a stick, it's a turkish toad, take it now! And Dauntley, he drives him up against the wall. I don't know what he said! So Norva will get really, put his face really close and goes, no one does.

Everyone I told to come, they came. Everyone. Everyone, they came. Everyone? Everyone, I think. Like slowly loosen the grip on him. This is not... Well, someone knew about it. That's obvious. It seems like Silverfron and Selwyn knew more.

Yes, it's not necessarily from the inside. These skulls,s Helena they're undead. This is similar to the ram and to whatever is happening with the Montrose family. The black bile, the pregnancy. And Silverfronze getting drunk and spilling information to you and then selling, trying to promise me protection. From what? People must know about this. From something they are doing. What do we do? I don't want to sleep alone. If only Skid had his drops.

If only skid had his drops. In an unsexy way. Just scared. Just normal. Just lonely, not horny. Okay, wait. No, two things can be true. Lonely. We do, I think we should make an effort to scatter the NPCs so that if someone were to... The fire's gonna be noticed, we don't want to seem like we're meeting. Yeah, and the thing is, like, we're doing a clandestine, like, partisan meeting too, so like, just get everyone...

Everyone should go. And what's hours? Killian will push him on his way, Eldrin. Go home! And maybe we make a plan to meet in two hours or something. Somewhere else. Somewhere else. You should know.

It's two in the morning, I've got work! I've got work! What is this made up? You've got the morning shift. You're a terrible husband, father. Faith is sick. And what are you doing? The kids are sick and you're out all night at this pub? That burned down while you were partying?

It's all about your faith, but what about faith? This was clearly in his soul. Nice. You should write a country song. That's really good. Yeah. So, so what, as, as, uh, Eldrin is, is, is walking away, he says, we, we didn't really figure anything out.

Don't, don't speak of this. You didn't, nothing. No one had anything to say worth anything. There's nothing you can do about what's happening. Why is it? Why is it you think you can change something like this? What do you want to do? Tell me what you want in your perfect scenario here.

What you take the town over for yourself. You get rid of the Baron? What's the end game? And he looks down at the ground. And one of the other NPCs, the awesomer looking dwarf says, he wants the lady What what he's in love with lady Beatrix

How look back at this fucking Elton? That's not That's not the only reason. There are other reasons for this. It is not right. And you know it's not right. She's pregnant and married. No, no.

Look at your NPC sheet. You're thinking of someone else? Oh, Beatrix is the daughter. Sorry, I thought you said the lady. Not the Baroness. She's not pregnant. that I know of. Nevermind, I hit my head. I almost million dollar babied myself, but I didn't.

Wait, don't spoil it for me, I haven't seen it. Ha ha ha ha. Okay. It's not the only reason this was not a selfish cause. You know it to be true. You know that something is not right here. The festival, the undead ram, the Baroness, vomiting, bile. You might be in love with her, but is she in love with you? Yes. You might be in love with her, but is she in love with you?

Yes. Oh! Could you... Could you get her to come to a meeting then? No. She will do her duty. She already told you this? Yes. Why wouldn't she tell me this? What the fuck? We're handmade. Mendev will be here in two days. Yes. That's why we must act with all haste. I know that I could have been more forthright with you. I don't mean to deceive you.

I truly believe that it would be for the best that we stop this some way. But we should not speak about this now. Whoever did this could be listening. Goodbye. And he leaves. And you stand there. In the night, as the NBCs make their way back to their respective homes, Harsk burns to a crisp. Ezran mourns in a silent vigil. Somewhere, Ezran mourns.

He felt a great disturbance, as if a single dwarf cried out. It was suddenly silenced. And we just see a view from the castle atop the hill. The castle where the baron and the baroness now sit. The castle where Killian not too long ago helped the former Lord move his family into and we see Just this burning Tavern in the middle of Rosewood Vale And we'll see you tomorrow night It's time to make your membership official. Thank you guys!

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