The Glass Cannon Podcast - Ascension Part 9 — Mettle of Honor (Indianapolis)

Episode Date: August 21, 2025

In the aftermath of a massacre, the surviving townspeople must make some impossible decisions. Watch the video here: https://youtu.be/H29UZs0xeUY Join Troy Lavallee, Joe O'Brien, Skid Maher, Matthew Capodicasa, Sydney Amanuel, and Kate Stamas as they tour the country. Get your tickets today at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://hubs.li/Q03cn8wr0⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Access exclusive podcasts, ad-free episodes, and livestreams with a 30-day free trial with code "GCN30" at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠jointhenaish.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://hubs.li/Q03cmY380⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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That's why they have a dedicated small business advice hub on their website to provide tips and insights on business banking to entrepreneurs, no matter the stage of business you're in. Visit td.com slash small business advice to find out more or to match with a TD Small Business Banking Account Manager. You are listening to the Glass Cannon Network, the premier source for role-playing game entertainment. I'm back, Jane show! I'm back, baby, Jen Con, let's go!

Jen Con Joe! Love you guys. Love you guys. Folks, GenCon 20205 may have started at 10 a.m. this morning. But if you've been a member of the NACE for the past eight years, you know that JenCon does not begin until Glass Cannon Live. Thursday night, the official opening of Gen Cod. Now, we can go home. It's daytime, huh? This is weird.

I know. I keep looking at the light. It's like a matinee. All the blue hairs are in the audience. Everybody brought their mom or their grandma. Why do they talk about cock so much? We are obviously so excited to be here. best week of the year. We look forward to it all year long. It always creeps up on us and now it's here

and we're doing this. At a certain point some of us will be dead and then it'll be weird when one of us isn't up on stage because they died. Do we keep the show going? Is that going to happen tonight? Or do we like, do we do a tribute

video? Yeah. I'm still sad about Hulk Hogan. In the arms. It'll be okay, Troy. We don't have enough people That could put together a great tribute album Like tribute video of one of us passed on Should we start prepping those now

Just to have them? Yeah Like the New York Times Just getting out ahead of it Trying the story I can promise you If you pass For me

God willing That's what happens God willing? What the fuck is happening right now? Did I die? I could make you one of those like TikTok fan cams where it's just like a bunch of really fast photos of you

with like hearts that explode around it like that would be your tribute video Is that good? I don't want that. I'm gonna have fitting. I think that would be really good. Yeah, like a Gen Alpha makes it. I think that's a good idea.

Don't celebrate my death on TikTok. Yeah, I think. When I think Troy LaValley, I think TikTok. That's great. Oh, Troy Talk. Well, we are excited to be here. it's getting harder to do as we get older, but hopefully we'll be alive next year

so we can do it again. I hope so. I don't know, man. You're in your prime, man. You're in your prime right now. I'll be fine. But I could just see a couple of you just not making it through the year.

Wouldn't shock me. Are you laying the groundworked for like killing us? I think he's going to murder us. I don't know. I like to shake things up. Everybody catch the announcement today. Yeah? Are you ready to enter the shadow dark?

You know who's ready to enter the shadow dark? Mr. Skid Mar is pretty excited up about this. It's like a kid on Christmas morning. I am so fucking pumped to play that game. I'm like, I can't wait. I'm really excited. We are, yeah, that's going to be very exciting. I don't want to talk about that too much, but get pumped.

Right now it's about day one of GenCon, went out last night. And all of them left, and I was like, losers. I wish I had left with them. I was hanging out with the Marvel guys, and then I'm ready to leave, and Eric Mona walks in. He's got a beer in his hand. He looks like a senator.

And he was like, let's get some Coke and hookers! In typical Mona fashion. That's right. So we did. Now I'm tired. I'm tired. Tired to it. Yada, yada, yada. I'm beat. Joe, how are you feeling? How was your first day of

Gen Con 2025. It was spectacular. I've already jammed a TPK today. Yeah. Man, Gen Con's a beautiful place. It's so rare. I mean, no show on the road all year long.

Do I TPK a party before the live show that night? This is a true gift. Yeah, the gauntlets were awesome. And then we did StarFinder 2E, which was great. Which was great. Some people were there. Yeah. Yeah.

I made you dance. he made literally he was like dance for me and I and I did he did because he was like you don't have to roll a die and I was like I like this deal Joe loves to dance he does he really does like uncomfortably enjoys it always makes me uncomfortable the weddings are a sight to behold yeah yeah didn't you break someone's foot dancing my sister I was at my cousin's wedding I was dancing to Rihanna And I was getting after it What song?

What song? And I smashed her foot so hard I broke her foot Oh my God And so I had to ride with her In the lift to the hospital From the wedding She made you stop dancing

To take care of her No she was like I'll be fine And then she threw up in a bucket And I was like I really I really should go And so I went to the ER Yeah

Which Rihanna song was it? Without love in a hopeless plan. That one. Is that Rihanna? Yeah. Just stomping your foot to that one, huh? Bam, bam, bam. And then she slid in there.

Her fault. She should have known. It's kind of true. You need to give you a wide berth. Yeah. You really get out of control. Well, I thought it was the party rockers in the house tonight. I don't think it was.

That's not Rihanna. No, that's LMFAO. I remember Joe telling me the story and it's changed. Originally it was LMFAO. Oh. Maybe it was. but they have a similar beat now in terms of stomping well they don't bitch better have about money yeah joe dance the same dance to both of them

it's true it's got one move we had a show the last show let's play it we did no we did a show uh probably the last show we ever fucking did new york and we went to a bar afterwards and a bunch of people from the show it's the Halloween one the first one that I did with you guys yes And we partied so fucking hard right after. And I was like, do you do this every time you play a show? Yeah, that was intense. You would dance off, Joe. Well, it was a standout because it's one of those, I don't know if this, this ever

happened to you like where it's just an unexpected spectacular night, right? Like, you're not planning to go out hard. You're not planning for a big dance party. We just walked into some craft beer bar. It was a craft beer bar. And they had this DJ who was so good. Yeah. And was just like ripping all this different stuff every month.

minute the song was changing, Kate was just like, ah! Every second. And I was, man, I was right there with her. We had a great time. And my sister, that was my sister's first time

going out basically since she had her two kids. Yeah. And she went insane. Yes, I love her. She was waiting. She greeted me like four times that. Sing. You said hi to me five weeks ago.

Matthew, you big dancer or more of a prancer? Poor Kail on those toes. Did you see you? No, do you like to get down? I get down at a wedding. Yeah? To fast music or to like really go hard at a slow song? I go so hard to the slow dance.

Just like endless love. You're just fucking going. I'm like on the floor doing the worm during, during a stand-by-me. How one does the worm during endless love? Matthew is remarkable in the way he finds a way to dance and lead me to dance through Bruce Springsteen. He can dance a Bruce Springsteen song. You can dance to, I think he just pump your fist. He figured out a way. I mean, there's a lot of fist pumping.

Yeah. But there's some other stuff. It's mostly this. That's the whole thing. Your understanding of Bruce Springsteen is juvenile at best. I do it. He's a national hero to him. Are you going to see the Bruce movie?

Of course. It looks like shit. Geez. Are you not aware of the album Nebraska and the genius album Nebraska? No. The whole legend of that album? Nope. See what I mean?

I like Max Weinberg. Is he still a member of the East Street, band? Who? Max Weinberg? He's a... He's still a member. He's cool.

If he said Max Wonder, I was like... Max Wonder? Max Wonder. Who did I get down character name? I'm going to work him into the adventure tonight.

A message from the king. He looks like Max Weinberg. King Max Wonder. Does Max Wonder. Kate, I know you like to get down. Maybe. You just need to... Oh, they're coming for me right now.

I'm about to get down. They heard. Party police. You said Kate's about to get down in the cops car. Are coming. Three dead sex workers covered in cocaine. Found outside of the Hilton.

What is your go-to song? You want to play you some music you can dance to? You and Matthew? Make it a slow jam so I can do the worm. I don't know. You don't have to play it a song. It's like weird bedroom sex music. What's that?

The first one that came up. Sked, do you a dancer? I just Google songs. It's like, this is human music. Songs. Skit, I don't think I've ever seen you dance. No, I used to dance. We used to, at my elementary school, they, they taught us break dancing at my elementary school.

And it was for gym. And I really liked it because it was one time where people weren't throwing sports. equipment at me. So I really got into it, and I really enjoyed. I could learn out of moonwalk. I did all that stuff. You can moonwalk? Oh, yeah.

Let's see it. There's a lot of stage here. It's a lot of stage. Oh, he's getting up. Wait. Skid is walking to the front of the stage. He's got a laser on. Let me help.

Set the move here. Whoa. Whoa. Wow. You know, the handwork is a key part of it. You know, flick those hands out a little bit. Is that Michael Jackson up there? Is that Michael Jackson over there?

How'd you kids? I think dancing is stupid. I hate it. That can't be true. It's a weird thing to hate. You hate dancing? I hate dancing. I think it's a silly form of entertainment.

He hates fun. Troy, it makes sense. But no, no, no. Troy loves Christmas. He loves Hallmark movies. You hate dancing? I hate dancing. I think people look silly when they do it.

What about when they dance? Hallmark movie about Christmas. That's fine. But they're not getting down. They're slow dancing, like in the snow outside of a coffee shop. What about like when Bruce Wayne and Selena Kyle are dancing at that Max Schreck

party and end up under the mistletoe? That's okay as well. What? What about the Rockettes? Never saw them. They do Christmas stuff. They do Christmas. Is that dancing? That's just like kicking.

I think that's dancing. I think that's kicking. I think it's mainly unison kicking. It's called a kick line, and it is a... Type of dance. Type of dance. Also, I don't... My perception of your Christmas fandom

just went down by, like, four notches. Because I'm, like, dancing? You haven't seen the Radio City Christmas spectacular. Well, I just... I don't want to go sit and watch a show. I don't even watch... Yeah. Like these...

Look at these lunatics. Like these patsies. What a bunch of crazies. You're a crazy person to sit and watch a... That person would do that. Our show has far less kicking. There should be more. We should change that.

All right. No, we can change that easily. Tonight show will feature 100% more kicking than usual. Whoa. That's a guarantee. I would just, I feel like I never, I never listened to a song, and I'm like, hold on, I need to shake myself in public. I need to. I listen to a song, and I'm like, I can't not shake myself in public.

It's not a choice. It gets inside of you. It's like the failure will say. affecting you for a second while the music plays. You know what? I know what it is. You don't have rhythm. Oh, that's where it is. He can't dance.

What did you say? Wow. What did you say? I think you might be right. Why do you don't think I have rhythm? If you had rhythm, you wouldn't be able to help yourself. It would get into your body and it would move through your muscles. You'd have no choice.

I don't have rhythm. Wow. You got to do some self-reflecting. It really cut deep. It's self-reflecting. Mind you, I don't even listen to pump up music at the Jim, I'll listen to, like, Christmas carols and... That's insane.

Like, from November 1st to, like, January 6th. Just deadlifting to silent night. Just 210 more days. I hate summer. My wife thinks I'm crazy, but you're joking. I'll do that exactly. Like, I'll listen to... Let us know, let us know, let us know.

Let us know. Yeah. Anyways, dance all you want. I'm not going to join you. but what I am going to do for the first time in a long time is a recap. Yeah! Recap! Cap it! DJ!

It's been a couple months since we've played this adventure, and I feel like we need a recap. Yeah, please, bring us back. Joseph D. O'Brien. The D stands for dick. Yeah, it does. Will you take it to the recap? I decided to own it.

I don't know. That works. Take us to the cap. Do you have any good cap music? Uh, nope. Okay, wait. Do you have anything we can dance to? He's Googling music right now.

Can we dance during this recap? Don't play on license shit, dude. No, this is, we own this. I think, we have the rights to this. Well, this one's called comedic flappers. We own that? Put your mic up to it. This is good for the recap.

Ready? Let me tell you a story about a sad shit. Five characters. It's the first day of JunCon. This is so... Dude, this is like day show or energy. This is awesome. This is the show.

All right, here's the nuts and bolts of this story thus far. Paying attention? Where's my music to dance to? Ooh. Dance to that. A group... Just do the Bruce dance.

All right, stop. Take this seriously. It's a serious game. This is a serious game. And we need serious players to play it. Where are they? Shut up. A group of religious pilgrims

traveling the world looking to start their own society came upon a land that, according to legend, was cursed. Legend had it that the land would always be fallow. An ebony living soul Who attempted to inhabit it Would be hastened to their graves But these traveling zealots Led by a man named Percival Montrose

Saw a lone rose Growing on the banks of a brackish river And in that symbol Saw a sign You like the word brackish? I love the word brackish I did too Saw this rose On the banks of this brackish river

There it was again Took it as a symbol from their goddess Saidana that this land was meant for them. Flash forward a generation or so, and a flourishing village has emerged called Rosewood Vale. The land is fertile, the water potable. Another good word. And the people thriving. Sadly, the original leader, Lord Montrose has passed, but his son also, personally. Montrose. The second has taken the reins as leader after his father's passing and continued

to grow the city in ways his dad could have never imagined at a festival meant to commemorate the founders of Rosewood Vale where a statue of his father would be revealed. The new Lord Montrose made a shocking announcement that Rosewood Vale, after years of petitioning, would finally be recognized as an official barony of the kingdom of Mendev. In return, all Lord Montrose had to do was give up his two young daughters to the crown. His oldest Lady Beatrix is to wed the second son of the king, and his youngest Lady Willow will be sent to foster at the capital until she comes of age, where she will marry the third son of the king. This is considered by many to be a trade heavily waited in the favor of the kingdom

as the second son apparently does not enjoy the company of women and the third son is known as this sickly boy affected by a strange disease that makes him look perpetually infantile. People are not happy about this, but shortly after the announcement, the now Baron Montrose's wife, Lady Abigail Montrose, pregnant with what the Baron hopes will be a male heir keels over on the dais,

vomits black bile, while at the same time a sacrificial ram killed in Saidanah's name to honor the proceedings rises from the dead to disrupt the festival. In that chaos, what do you want to say?

That was messed up. That was fucked up. When that thing came back to life. You know what? There wasn't at the festival? Dancing. Why not? Because of the dead stuff? They were too busy.

There's a lot that's backwards about this town. Yeah, wait. What the heck? They don't dance? This is like the town from Footloose. It is. It's like the town of Footloose. Not a lot.

Are we just doing footloose, fantasy style? Be sure to come to Philly, you'll see. To save the town. Which one of us is John Lithgow? No gnomes and no dancing. Damn it. I don't ask for much. In the chaos of vomiting and rams rising from the dead,

five heroes emerge to save the day. Killian Dawnwall. The Donwall. one of the original founders, an elf fighter and member of the town guard. He is married to a human woman and has two young half-elf female children. Sir Norvalmont, a holy paladin of Saidana, a man with a checkered past who has found peace in Saidan's teaching. He was a member of the town guard at the beginning of our adventure, but his superior, a real peen named Sir Sir. Lehman Quince is rebuilding

the Knights of Saidana and has conscripted Norville to his service. No more town guard for you. Andromeda Quinn! That's fun. An apprentice. She's an apprentice wizard to the arcane advisor of the town, a female

elf named Rydian Silverfron. If Andromeda plays her cards right, perhaps she could be an arcane advisor someday, or if she's lucky, a court wizard. For now. But in the future.

Helena falafel. Phelafel. Halena falafel. Helena, I could go for a falafel. How's Indiana a falafel? Better than New York? Helena, falafel. Whatever.

Like Killian. Another founding. an original inhabitant and an elf as well. She is a priestess of Saidana, who as of late may be starting to question her faith, questioning the motives of her superiors, and perhaps even her goddess. And finally, a man simply named Oswin.

An outsider to this town, a former gang member trying to break good and failing miserably, as he's now murdered two people in cold blood since our adventure began, people who threatened to reveal Oswin's dark past. He's a man on the run, savagely fleeing a dark past that nips at his heels.

Something is very wrong in Rosewood Vale. Since the beginning of our story, our heroes have discovered a desecrated statue of Iomede in the woods north of. of town. They went to a secret meeting of dissidents concerned about the baron's choice to basically sell off his daughters, and that meeting was interrupted by arson and undead spirits. After barely escaping this burning building, they discovered that the man responsible for the meeting, a young half-elf named Eldron, was having a relationship with Lady Beatrix on the

sign, so maybe his desires to fight against the betrothment were biased. And one night, just to top things off, Helena walks in on the Baroness's sister, an actual holy sister of Zidana, Sister Violet DeWitt, who is hiding a pregnancy of her own. Once again, something is very wrong in Rosewood Vale. Our hero's investigation is interrupted by the arrival of the king's outriders who set up camp in the shadow of the city. Oswin recognizes a member of his old gang among these outriders, sneaks into his tent and murders him. Revenge for a horrific offense the man enacted on a woman that Oswin loved long ago. The next day, a retinue of the king arrives with the prince, Prince Harold, to meet his future wife, Lady Beatrix. A feast is held

to celebrate the union of these two houses. But at the feast, Lady Beatrix's lover, this half-elf, who orchestrated the meeting of the dissidents storms into the feast with a knife to the throat of one of Killian's daughters. Begging the townspeople, begging the council to listen to him, to take his pleas seriously, realizing there's no way out,

the man then commits suicide. And in that act, yet again, the dead rise in the form of ghosts of the original knights of Saedana who call out Sir Lehman Quince's treachery, intimating that perhaps Sir Lehman Quince was responsible for what happened to the original

Knights of Saidana, led by a notorious badass known only as the Dawn Blade, who mysteriously disappeared years ago on a diplomatic mission. If anyone is still with me, I'm almost done. You're doing great.

You're doing great. I think it was important. We needed this. As the ghosts appear, Everyone in the Great Hall loses themselves. They lose their minds. They start attacking each other. While our heroes are dealing with the ghosts, dispatching with the ghosts, the rest of the guests are mindlessly slaughtering each other. When the ghost battle ends this knight from the king, one of these knights of Abadar, who escaped, oh, excuse me, who escorted the prince here, man by the name of Sir Donald Kane.

He smells the sickness that is in Rosewood Vale and attempts to eliminate you all. but you band together and kill him and his remaining nights. We ended our last show with the five of you standing in the Great Hall in the middle of a massacre. Townspeople are dead, probably some of your friends, maybe some of your family, certainly some of your companions, but also the entire group that traveled with the prince, including all of the knights of Abadar,

have been murdered at the hands of the people of Rosewood Vale and at your own hands. Something is very wrong in Rosewood Vale. You guys leveled up at the end of last week's last time. I said last week's adventure. It was two months ago. but think you're dying

Joe, your character I know It's been weeks You're dying? You don't just recover Because we haven't played in two months Yeah, wait I think you're just laying there

Are you dying? I am dying One? One You level up while you're dying Do we all gets level up But not you? You don't get to level up?

I think that's only fair I thought about that a lot And I didn't talk to my gym about it and I just leveled up Oh So now I have hit points It wakes up We level up

after resting and there's no sweeter rest than that of the grave. That's a good point. You know what? I'll do you a favor and Mr. Nerva will come murder you. Nice. Just a crude-a-ra.

Quick, fifth-level character. Walk over. I'm not too worried about it. I am dying. I don't really understand. Do you want to play it out? What do you want to do? Why don't you get out the exact initiative

from Toronto? First of all, don't raise your voice. And then I'm ready to deal with it. Who, I don't even know who last attacked. Endromeda. That is correct. Oh shit. She killed, sir Donald Kaine.

You have it? I did. Sir Donald Kahn. I'd have it. She slapped him in the face. I slapped him in the face so already died. All right. So, Dawn Wall, I would assume I moved you in initiative order.

Yeah, because. Yeah. So you are up next. Give me a dying roll. Shut your mouth when you're talking to Steve. No way. Okay. If you critically fail this, you will go to dying.

ring three. That's true. Which in the new house rule. That is mechanically accurate. Of ascension. Can't believe you knew that. You permanently died. Natural.

Natural one. Natty-16. There we go. Stabilized. Level up. Sober as a judge. Okay. You're stable.

Let's talk about the level up before we deal with this. Yes. Situation. Who? Who wants to go first? I love a good level of it. All right. Andromeda? Okay. Yeah. Andromeda level five now.

It means I get third level spells. Oh, yeah. Big jump. Big jump. Pretty dope for a wizard. You want to talk about those spells? Nope. I'm going to keep those a secret from you.

I don't want you to know what's going on over here. Okay. Do you know what's going on over there? It's a fair question. Yes. Yeah, that's, that's like kind of the big thing for the wizard. I get another ancestry feat. Andromeda is a human.

So I took, if you really want to know, clever improviser. Yeah, you got to. And the crowd. Ooh. You got to. It's fine. It's cool. Okay. That's fine.

It's O-P. The big thing is the level third spells. Hopefully they'll be useful. I did not talk to. my gaming group about what spells I chose. Oh. So. Okay.

Don't clap for that. You play how you want to play, Sidney. Yeah, you go, girlfriend. Thanks, Kate. You support your dream of civic non-combat wizardry. Well, here's the thing. This is interesting to level up at a tumultuous time like this. Does Andromeda feel like a civic wizard?

She just murdered a man. A knight of the Kingsguard. I saw that. She slapped him with an ignition. He did try to kill me. She's protected the prince, though. Man, it's just, it's complicated right now. So choosing those spells, it was interesting.

Like, perhaps she's moving away from this future she thought she had in civic wizardry. Maybe she'll never get to be a court wizard. I don't know. Don't say that. Somebody said. Wow. That was deep. Yeah.

What about Oswin? Uh, it's pretty unexciting. Honestly, I got, uh, I have trackless journey. I unlock that. I'm just, I'm looking for an adventure or a GM where that ever matters. I know. Uh, so I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm better at, at covering my tracks if we're traveling across country. Or when you murder people, does it help with the murder?

Uh, yeah, I mean, maybe, yeah, we could say that. And it could be applied that way. Sure. I've probably picked up some tricks after I killed that last guy. I also have weapon expertise. I have a crit specialization for the weapons, martial and simple weapons. That's good. Versus my prey.

And I got, I picked up another like, skill feats. I can do some. I'm good at a couple other like small things. Oh. It really, this honestly,

oh, the only really exciting thing about this level is the fact that your attributes scores go up. Yes. So, like, that's, that's, that's the big thing. So everything else is, like, sort of underwhelming. Okay. But, uh, yeah, that's pretty much it.

All right. What about, uh, Sir Norville, uh, he got a, I took a, the, uh, what's the, it's the feet you take, the general feet you take to, or the ancestry feet that gives you a class feet. Okay. Yes. Natural ambition. Oh. And the crowd girls wild.

Yeah. They love natural ambition in Indiana. Which gave me a champion feat, which I will also keep to myself. Oh, how boring. And then my attributes went up. Okay. Wow. Nice.

You're really not going to tell us anything, huh? All right. We'll see it in play, I guess. Yes, you will. Miss Falafel. I was pretty excited about this level up. It's awesome. So Joe knows, because I think we both took the same ancestry feet.

It's so narrative appropriate. I'll let you talk about that. You're amazing. So attributes are great, skills are great. I got a new language, so I chose Draconic, but I also get third-level spells, which are so cool. Yes. One of which,

I think, is really cool, is Anointed Ground, and you get a plus one status bonus to AC, attack rolls, damage rolls, and saving throws against undead in a 30-foot burst are surrounded around me. Whoa. I think that's pretty cool. There's a bunch of spells, but I have some that are my

favorites that's one of them nice and now you've got third rank heel as your font right like so good yeah totally that too that was the biggest thing kate's just googling the word font font 3d8 plus all i see are just letters 24 i think squiggles so good times new roman i don't get that i think i took comic sins uh what about old dong wall uh old dawn wall so i uh i uh I'm going to tell you, oh, so I did ability scores, and I did not max my strength. Like, I didn't put that half point in strength because it doesn't level up right now. And, uh, and, uh, and I also, you were in plus four already and it would go to. Yeah, it would have been the half one. And so I was like, I like the idea of pumping.

Actually, yeah, that's smart because we're about to wrap this stuff. Exactly. Yeah. But I like the idea of pumping his intelligence a little bit. So now I've got about a plus three intelligence. It works with the alchemy and stuff, which is fun. Yeah, I should have done that. Got an extra skill. So that's, good time. And then, okay, so there's a big fighter thing. Fighters are so awesome. God, I wish I played fighters. Every time. So at fifth level, fighters get weapon mastery. Yeah. Oh. Woo! Tick a weapon group. In this case, I picked swords, because I use a bastard sword. And you become a master with all of those in terms of your proficiency. So my two hit went up three this level. Wow. Wow. Wow.

So it leapt forward, which is just phenomenal. That's huge. So love that about the fighter. And then last thing is, yeah, this ancestry feat that Kate and I both took as elves of this community, Troy, you're going to love this. So it's called ancient. I'm sorry, that's not it. Please give me a moment. Don't cheat.

Stop. Stop. It's so hard not to look at somebody else's screen. I know it's rude. It's called ancestral suspicion. And it is, long-lived elves have seen civilizations rise and fall, often at the hands of outside forces. As a result, they have developed a wariness of others who might seek to influence or control them. Very, very cool.

So we get a plus two circumstance bonus to any saving throws that would give us the controlled condition or dominate or anything like that. That's cool. That goes back to like a residual D&D where elves were immune to chival. charm. Yes. And then they add on a layer and it gives us a bonus to perception checks to sense motive to see if someone else is dominated or controlled. Oh, that's awesome. Magically. That's very cool. That is so cool. I mean, like, it fits this so well. I want to know if this baron is being magically toyed with or anything. Sounds like a campaign feat. Campaign feet. Bro. So yeah. I was very excited. Awesome. That's really cool. What did you get, Troy? I got a beer.

You know what? You can have my level back. I'll take a beer. Well, you guys were talking about it. I'll forfeit my next level. I'll give me another beer. It lowers my strength and intelligence. But enhances my charisma. All right. So, very, very cool. I've set the scene a little bit as what's happened to this point. But now I want to talk about what you see in the aftermath of this. You look to the dais. and there stands baron montrose he has blood

covering his robes it looks like his wife is alive a lot armor I can't want to kill a pregnant woman Lady Abigail Montrose the baroness she is shook

but alive Sister Violet DeWitt appears to be alive In fact, the Baron is like helping her up Checking on her Interesting Rydian Silverfrond Your boss

She appears to be injured But she stands up holding her stomach And there's like blood Blood stains coming out of where her hand is She looks pretty messed up Barvis Tonk, the dwarf captain of the guard, he's very badly injured, but he, like, uses a spear to pull himself up to the table. A handful of other guards from the town guard, you recognize, Sir Lehman Quince is alive and well.

Both of the baron's daughters appear to be okay. Also very much alive is Prince Harold Payne, second in line to the third. throne, betrothed of Lady Beatrix. You do not see Father Selwyn Borvis or the Holy Mother of Abadar that traveled with the Kingsguard. And by the looks on faces, you see them, like, as they're, like, getting their bearings, they're coming to and they're crouching down and dealing with bodies on the floor. You assume they have perished.

One of which is Killian. Stable, but unconscious on the floor. St. Norval accidentally steps on his throat. Andromeda pushes Sir Norval as much as she can push a giant man. And she's like, Killian! Killian! And she's like shaking. Slacks Killian.

Yeah. That's what they teach you to do if you take any like EMT classes. Move them. Shaker. It's unconscious just to shake them as hard as you can. Shake them. Move their head around a lot. Stick his hand and water. Kid, that's right.

And I think Andromeda does not do that. But she is very panicked. I mean, she just killed someone. Everyone around is covered in blood. And I think she's extremely worried about Killian and is afraid he might be dead. Yeah.

And she's calling out, Helena, come, please help. I'm coming, I'm coming. Don't worry, he's fine. He's still breathing. And you get 18 hit points, so you come back. One of the town guard slaps you in the nuts. You're right?

Hey! Wake up! Stop that! Sorry, I'm not a doctor. Would you like it if I did that? Don't answer. Just came up and nuts slapped? Like with his fingernails.

It was like, wham! That's what I did when my mule died. That's medieval CPR. That's what that is. Medieval CPR. Medieval CPR. He's dead. He wakes, looks around.

He does similar to Barvis' tunk. He doesn't necessarily use his sword, but gets a hand on the ground. It starts to slowly stand up. His hair, soaked in sweat. Probably some blood in it, too, falls into his face. He stands up. And looks around at the carnage. Look at the prince.

With the daughters. At the baron? I mean, what are they doing? The baron looks shell-shocked. The stench of copper hangs in the air. He steals himself, clenches his fists, and looks towards the captain of the guard. Says, uh, Tonk, take some of your men and bring the prince to my chambers. He looks to the young man, Prince Harold, uh, and says, uh,

uh my prince there is something foul afoot i know not what but your safety is of the utmost importance to me i made an oath to your father go with my men they will keep you safe barvis doesn't move tonk now talk is like being helped up by some of the other guards and uh he's about to take the prince I'll take the prince and bring them, bring him to the Varence chambers. We, wait, and killing a look at Barvis. Wait, we can't just walk him out of here. There's an entire, there's an entire vanguard of footmen outside. They, we have to keep the prince in our sights. We don't need to talk about this in front of the prince.

He will be safe in my quarters, and then the council will discuss this. Go, talk. Tomk leaves where this man takes the prince and the prince. Beatrix is left there? Beatrix is there. He looks at you. You seem to want to get involved here. How many outriders are there?

I haven't looked, but from earlier today, I think two dozen maybe. 20, 30, something like that. Does that sound right, Uswin? Is that right? Does that? Yeah, it's about 20 or so, guys. Yes. All tough customers.

That's like, I'm not as good as counting since I lost two of my fingers, but I think it's about right. The baron looks around the room at the able-bodied men and women of Rosewood Vale lying and pools of blood, pools of their own entrails. I mean, Baroness, take the girls. She nods. She leaves. He looks over. Father Selwyn is he, and Sister Valletouet nods her head.

And the Holy Mother? And she's like, yeah, like the Holy Mother has been decapitated. Father Selwyn Borbius, who made a pass at you, gutted. They're both dead. Sweet. Oh, yeah. He's dead. One less.

Andromous sucks. Andromeda's, oh no, bummer. Indraman is holding her hand in front of Donald Kane's mouth and like nose. And she just looks to Sir Norval and she is like wide-eyed and she's like, he's dead. The Knight of Avatar is dead. Sir Norval is completely transfixed. He's staring at Sir Lehman. staring at Sir Lehman Quince.

He offers like a reassuring pat on the shoulder to Andromeda. Not looking at her. She's like three. He's like three. He's actually on the ground. So he actually stands and grabs his sword and says, Sir Lehman, if we could have a word, please. Not right now, Sir Novel. The Baron is speaking. No, I'm afraid this is, this takes precedence.

I'm sorry, your lordship. But, uh, we need to know what happened. Yes, yes. We need to know what happened. I agree. Sir Novo, but first we need to make some difficult decisions. Your leadership is in question now, sir. Sir Novo, I have the floor.

Was that the Baron or was that Sir Lehm? This is the Baron. You couldn't tell? I was very in the scene with Sir Lehman. Clearly the Baron's voice. Come on. Sorry. You say there is 20 or so of these men.

I don't know. I suspect. They won't be checking on us anytime soon. That's good, but they will get suspicious. He starts talking almost to himself. He's like a head-on assault against them without remaining forces would be suicide. Is there perhaps another way? We should strike up the music as if everything is all right.

Strike up the music, did you say? Yes, to give us cover. So I think the wedding festivities are still continuing. He looks to the three bards that exist in this town. They've all been killed. guards always die first Oh wait Actually that is one of the skills that I picked up was performance

So Oswald walks over to a pair A set of bagpipes And It starts loudly As loud as his lungs can manage Playing Scotland the Brave There

Cut into the camera We just hear the faint sounds of a bagpipe. Is that Scotland the brim? What a party of that must be? What can we do here? We are caught between a rock in a hard place. We are not guilty here. There are forces beyond us that are at play, yes.

But we must deal with these outriders. They cannot They cannot survive They must be wiped out Can we start a fire? Bairn, they outnumber us Five to one I don't understand

Yes, there's There's something happening here I don't deny it There is something unnatural Occurring in the town And those threats are one thing But this This is not of the realm

And he points to the body Of Donald Kane He's like He called for all of our deaths Everyone Every innocent person in this room What is the king thinking What is happening

With the king? I do not know He called for our deaths Because he smells the stain that is upon our town He felt threatened But how do you think this goes The king sends his son To our humble veil

Along with dignitaries A cadre of his knights And a band of outriders If those men and women camping outside of our city walls learn that Sir Donald and the others have been murdered at your hands all of our lives will be forfeit

Of course I don't disagree But what we're going to do? Go out and kill 20 Outriders and have the king never hear about it Are we going to cover that one on? That's one problem at a time We need to deal with them Make sure they are killed to the last one And then we'll deal with the problem with the king

We have some leverage here We have the prince Your lordship, your lordship We do not need to kill them then what would you suggest we play cards with them I would suggest we get them drunk and feed them a sleeping draft

and take them prisoner for the moment for all of our safety perhaps if anyone is able to concoct a potion that might act as a soporific and send them out a flagon of several flagons of wine they might be inclined to partake

Is that something you can do, Andromeda? Indromeda's looking directly at Riddie and Silver knowing that she had read all those books on tinctures and medicines and she just quietly says Perhaps Rydian Silverfront could help

us? Riddians like I could perhaps make a sleeping potion 20 or so would have to be strong enough but I think that perhaps the barrens

is correct. It is not a strong enough decision if we imprison these men. What is the end game here? They might serve as a valuable ransom. We have the prince, Barron says. We have leverage. This can be salvaged, else our only recourse will be to send the prince back in pieces. If we blame it on Donald Kane, say that he went mad.

made a delirious decision that perhaps the king could forgive it perhaps if his son is unharmed and we don't murder all of the riders perhaps the prince has witnessed everything you expect the prince to adopt our story

the prince could be there's no reason this has to turn into further massacre I think the prince is the only thing that will keep us alive if even one of those outriders gets back we are doomed having the prince gives us a small bit of leverage.

Perhaps we could use the prince. Could we, could any of us make the prince order the outriders to return? The prince has that power. If we have him tell them that they must return to the king

that he is staying here for the time being and that is his wish then perhaps they must obey him. Um Perhaps I've not spent enough time with him to know if he would Take our side in this We would need to speak with him and see what he thinks about all of this

But I just feel like it's a half measure I feel like we need to Eliminate them I'm not And you see he's really struggling Trying to make a decision here Gillian looks around at his friends just kind of made recently realize

we might have to make a call here I'm not one for political negotiation I don't know how to do it I don't know anything about it I'd be passing it off on someone else if it came to taking out these outriders that I could do if it meant saving this town I don't think it makes a difference

if you're thinking long term, if you murder them, we attract attention sooner. If we don't, they go tell on us, they're going to find out anyway. I don't think murdering them or not muttering them

makes a difference. Helena is right. It doesn't matter what we do. Of course it matters what we do. Well, what is actually happening? Our grounds are becoming tainted. Yes, yes, yes. There are spirits among us.

And they said your name. You point to Lehman Quince? Yeah. It's like, spirits, it could be treacherous spirits. You cannot believe. There could be the workings of demonic influence. I like it, Helena. I like it.

Killian starts to walk slowly towards Quince. There is another option, of course. Damaged. They said your treachery will be known. How do you know they were talking about me? I don't recognize them. They said your name. Leman, Quince.

If we turn over Sir Lehman to the Outriders, that might satisfy the king for a time. Turn over one night? If you are the cause of all this. Sir Lehman Quince, what did they speak of? And he's like, my lord, I know not. I know not. Killian has now walked up to him. He's just been dragging his bastard sword on the ground behind him.

He's normally is all of a sudden looming behind Sir Levin Quince. Sherleiman Quinn sees this and he draws his sword. Sing! Stand back. there's been enough bloodshed here today. Stop you're lying. What have you done? Why are they calling your name?

What are you doing on this ground? Why are the dead rising? I did nothing but what I was commanded to do. And what was that? I cannot say. Shut up. The bagpipes have been playing this whole side. Just got hit on the backpike.

Chimder Tune. Sir Norville raises his story at Sir Levin Quince. He goes, you will tell us what did you do to the Domblade what have you done to this town I have done

nothing he looks to the baron I could tell you in private but I will not speak to them why don't we just raise some more dead and ask them I didn't raise any dead I have no idea what you're talking about

reception check to see if that's True. Sheboygan, Wisconsin. Sheboygan, Wisconsin. Sheepoid time. 24. 24. Sense mode.

And I aid you with a 24. Oh. 25. 25. DC 25. No. Wish you didn't say no after you said that. You know, he's being a little wishy-washy here, obviously.

You don't think he raised the dead, but it seems like he is to blame. He was being blamed for their death. He knows why, but it, he didn't. Didn't know the dead was. Just remember, story-wise, the Dawn Blade led a group of Knights of Saidanah back in the day to try and... Including Sir Lehman Quince, right? Including Sir Lehman and Quince to try and, you know, they went south. What's the country south of here?

Do you remember? Mendov? Mendov to the north. What is it? Usulov? That's not right. It's the one with the lake, right? I don't know.

One of those fucking towns. And they went there to try, because the Mendevian king wasn't paying attention. So they were like, all right, let's even go ask. Last wall. I don't remember. But anyways, Sir Lehman, Quince survived, came running back,

and said a band of orcs killed them. Yeah. But I don't think he's lying. Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah, I don't think he raised the dead. I think the dead are coming back for their revenge.

Revenance. Yeah. They're coming for you, Quince. Sir Lehman. By the powers invested in me by the order of the, by the order of Sir Dada, I hereby relieve you of your command.

You cannot. I am your commanding officer. That is why I'm able to relieve you. I believe you. Now that I'm supporting it to you, I relieve you. Clearly, we are on an impasse. Please drop your sword, or I'll be forced to drop it for you. You, if you want my sword, come take it.

Very well. The girls are fighting. It's crimson tide. It's crimson tide! Are we having a fucking battle here? I'm not you. All right, we're having a battle. Stir the pot.

Roll for initiative. Holy shit. Just you and me. Okay. Oh. I'm down some hit points. Oh, fuck. Can I roll?

Andromeda picks up the nearest Stein and starts chugging. This is insane. I mean, I'm not going to let him do a single combat. Do you want to be involved in the cards? Can I roll initiative? I'm not saying I'd act before Sir Norville, but I'm not. I want to be involved. Okay, all right, get involved.

I want to be able to heal. Involved. I rolled a National 19. Oh, that's huge. That's huge. I think I'm going to roll intimidation for this. Oh, okay. That's fair.

So what's the total? 28. 28. Holy shit. I was not ready for this. But it's awesome. But it's awesome. All right, Osmond, would you roll?

I got a 20. 20. Dirty, 20. Okay. Helena. 27. 20. 20.

Seves. Killian Dodwell. He's real hurt. 13. 13. Can I like flavor herely while you guys are talking? But I guess it was only 10 minutes, maybe. Andromadu?

22. 22 for Andromedoo. I roll a natty 18. Oh, get at it. Of course. You see how natural it is? these 18s are natural Oh could you make me not dying anymore

Because I All I do is hear everyone in the room I hear the pulsing of their blood Oh fuck Question Since we leveled up Do I get all my spells Oh wait I can do it myself

No I can I can sweet I was using Don John initiative tracker And I went to write his initiative as 31 And instead I wrote that there were 31 Sir Lehman Quinces Oh, damn it, delete, delete, delete, delete. What treachery is this? Swah, whoa, blah, blah, bo, bo, bo, bo, bo, bo, bo, bo, bo, mirror image times to end. All right.

You roll the 28. I rolled the 31. Oh. Okay? So he's like, ah, meanwhile, the Baron is like, do not shed blood in this place, but Quince is going out. It's covered in blood. Not more blood, please.

Gentlemen, you can't find it here. This is in the wall room. Start the encounter. Start the encounter Oh The old one is still up Oh yeah I wasn't doing that

I was just Indromata's on her turn I'm so panicked here I started the initiative Outside of Fondry I love a good Unplanned combat It's stressful

I thought that we wouldn't Do today And we're like bet Are you still dead No he's better now I got my I made myself better Okay

I got better All right He comes at you With a bastard Two-handed Move. First action. Second action. Ah, slashes down. Another Natty-18. Oh, my God.

For a 36 to hit. That's a crit. That's a crit. Oh, my God. I believe you're wounded one. I am wounded one. Oh, no. Shit, so am I. Let's get down to business.

Wait, are we leveled up? Yes. It's a crit by one. Crit by one. That, where he's two-handing the bastard sword, that's a D-12 damage. I rolled a 10 on the D-12. Plus 10 is 20 times 2 is 40 points of damage. How many hit points do you have, Matthew? 39.

Oh my God. Dying three? Oh, that's dying three? That's right, because he was wounded. We have to stop. We have to stop. Time out. Time out. The drama is going to run, and he's going to find out.

He did fuck around and find out. Oh. I really wish I had said We were healing Consequences of my actions Holy poop He still has another attack Does he just finish you off?

Would he do that? Troy, where is he? The map's so big. It's all in your head, man. Oh. Just go with the magic of make-believe. He goes, okay. Sorry, entire audience.

Too many pawns. All right, there he is. There's Quinn. Hello. We are pink here. Right here. There's only 45 guys on this thing. He's...

Oh, I see him running away. Oh, he's running. Get him. Arches to the walls. Check this guy out. He flees. What an absolute penis. What a penis.

A penis who just one shot in Sir Norville. I mean, I did. I was very, very hurt. I was at, like, a quarter of my hip points. Oh, my God. But wait. Did he... Where's Sir Norval?

Did he run away? What's happening? I was trying to go to where Sir Lehman Quince was. Even though we have this amazing map, I'm using Theater of the Mind. Okay. Okay. Just to show you, this is impromptu. Yeah.

This is real life! That's exactly what it is. He holds the sword above your head. Ready to drive it down into your chest. Go for it. No! And the Baron says, Stop!

Hold! No more bloodshed! Quince is just shaking. Who said that? Security! It was over there. Oh, he's real bold now. He does not strike.

Are you next? If I think so, yeah. It would be, well, it would be Sir Norval. Okay. Well, how he moves the initiative order, so it goes to Helena. Well, I, I two action heal. Okay. I don't really think about this.

Sir Norville. The Baron is telling you guys to stop. Do what you want. I mean, either way, if he tells us to stop, I'm going to bring back my friend. I love that move. So, like. Troy is left to the microphone. 3D8. All right.

Let's see. Oh, he's back now. Wow, plus 24. Holy shit. It's 35 points of healing. Nice. Wow. Just a cute 35 points of healing.

My level 5 character. Am I now wounded 2? Awake prone, wounded 2. You have one action left or you move to him to Did I move to touch? No. Okay. Yeah, I don't know what else to do. Maybe I start, I just, oh, I can't bless because that's two actions.

Mm-hmm. What can I do? That's one action. I cast guidance on Sir Norville. Andromeda. Okay. Hold! Andromeda is listening to the Baron.

She sees Riddian Silverfond, who is. probably on the barren side. Things are so chaotic. She is going to cast a third level spell. New spell, who this. She's going to cast something. Why don't you make... Do you just tell me what you cast it?

She's casting Phantom Prison. And I would like you to make a will save. Save of the will variety? On Lehman Quince, obviously. Just want to make that clear. I'm going to roll it right in front of. of you guys. Natural one.

Oh! Yeah! Oh, shit it drove! All you do is shut shit down. She's the closer. So suddenly, an immobile illusory wall traps you in a false prison. You can't see or feel

the wall, and you can't see anything outside of the illusory walls. So Lehman Quince is just do, do, do, do. Suddenly, in just darkness and can't see. see anything. And Andromeda waves her hand. And she's like, everyone, stop it! Sorry for it's screaming inside.

Stop right now. Oswin, do you listen to that weird voice? Well, I want to preface my action by asking if there are any Australians here. Oh, no. I'm proud tonight. I hold I want nothing more than to shoot this guy but I feel like Troy really wants us to not do it

no no please I don't know I'm a GM myself and I recognize all the telltale signs of a GM guiding with all of his will and action from his players well you know what it is is I'm actually perfectly fine with you killing him then I just I think I don't know

I don't know how it works with Phantom Prison. However, if you guys don't do it, he may actually murder Surinurables. Okay, well, those are the stakes. Okay, so, and I can, I can shoot him through this prison you have him in? He'll attempt another will save. Each time the target attempts to interact or escape the walls, and each time something from outside the walls affects the target, the target gets a new will save.

Okay. So you could attack him. You could shoot. He would get a will save. Right. Because you guys see him and he can't see anything? Yeah, I don't know that. We can all see him.

And you're in an illusion. So basically you just think you're in a prison. A prison of your mind. A prison of my own making. All right. But Oswin, he doesn't know the workings of this spell. He's never seen you cast this before. He doesn't know anything about this.

So he is going to hunt prey. And he is going to do a hunter's aim. Actually, you know what? Actually, he's going to do a hunted shot. He'll do a hunted shot. Oh, you are shooting him. Yeah, I'm shooting him. First attack is a 26.

It was a hit. Make a will save Troy for Lehman Quince. 9014. So I probably disbelieve with a 27. Yes. So you disbelieve the illusion, just as this arrow strikes you. Ah, skewers him. Uh, okay, that is 18 points of damage.

Okay. He's heard, too, from the melee. All right, and that's 27 on the second. That's a hit as well. Uh, and that is another 14 points of damage. Oh, boy. Okay. And I think Andromeda cast this spell, and then Oswin shoots anyway.

And you would see Andromeda, like, look at Oswin. Like, how could you? We were supposed to stop. Like, she looks at him just like, we're not listening to the baron? And she just looks, her hand is still holding outstretched. And she just looks so...

Well, the habit of listening to Bairns? We Barents are the big ones. I don't care. And I'm going to fire the third time. Okay. Okay. Uh, that is a... 23?

23's a mess. Killian Don Juan. Son of a bitch. This is a sticky wicket, as Matthew would say. Got the baron saying one thing. Stop. Got my man Oswin, whose instincts are spot on.

Trying to murder this guy. You guys have a real bond. Sir Norval also made the argument that Sir Lehman Quince has violated the tenets of the order and needs to be relieved of Man. Yeah. Not killed.

That's not... By naval precedent! Okay. We're doing this theater of the mind. Troy, I'm going to walk up to Lehman Quince. Okay. I'm going to spend an action demoralizing it. What do you say?

I walk up to him. Bastard sword in hand. And I say... Salimincin's... Bleeding. Hair in his face You've been relieved You can't stop us

She'll bring us back every time Nodding to Helena Will overwhelm you Drop your sword Or I'll cut you down right here So I'll roll it demoralize See if that does anything That's a 27

That's a success Yeah So you can choose to drop your sword Or just take frighten one and not It's up to you. I'm going to take Frighton 1. Man. And he's going to say,

He besmirched my honor! I swing. Yeah. I can't help it, Cindy. Is the he clearly me, or is he talking about something else? I don't know you. Or is he? He besmirched, my honor.

Oh, wait a minute. This is a big role. Yeah. This is an important role. Yeah. On these live shows, I've gotten dice in the past from guests at the VIP hang. Sometimes those dice suck.

Sometimes they're amazing, like in Toronto. Those Canadian dice, they were amazing. Tonight I've got something truly, truly special, and a first timer ever on the Glass Cannon Network. In the VIP hang before we started the show, I met a lovely couple. Alyssa and Randall Alyssa and Randall

Are pregnant Both of them Wow You both are pregnant Well you know She definitely has the worst part of it They Do not know the gender

of the baby But it is known By their friend Who packaged a die Get out of here Oh my God In this box Get out here.

Gender reveal, John? Wow. It is a blue dye or a pink die. I'm going to cry. Are you kidding me? This is a true gender reveal. Wow. Even for the couple themselves.

Wow. Let's bring them up. Do you want to bring them up? Come on. Come up. Come up. Come up. Come up.

Come up. Come up. Come up. Come on. Come on. I can't do it off mic. Oh my God Gender Reveal John

Whatever number he rolls There's way I'm just like There's no way you can mess this up right Joe Oh it could be a bad roll But the results will still be great All right come on over I think it's only fair that whatever number he rolls Should be the name of the child

That's right It could be six It could be six All right Randall say hi in the microphone Hi everybody Alisa, you really don't know the gender of your baby. Say it in the microphone.

I have no idea. How amazing is this? This is so amazing. So they don't know, obviously. Their family doesn't know. Only one of their friends knows. So basically, once this is revealed on stage... Is their friend an obstetrician? Or, like, how...

Why do you... Talk about it. Tell us a story. No, basically I let her look at my, I got DNA tested And I let her look at my results before we came here Okay, I gave her both the dice, and I told her you have to keep whichever one it's not Oh my God So hopefully she did it right

Okay, okay I did text her before I was like, you pick the right one, right? She said she checked four times Okay Okay This is a really big deal, this is a really big deal And so it'll be revealed not only to them, but to their whole family.

It'll be on YouTube. I mean, it's amazing. So here we go. Our first ever, gender reveal dive. I'm so excited. I'm shaking. You two, Alyssa and Randall, are going to have... I just got chills.

It's a boy. Ah! It's a boy! You really can't go wrong. But that's amazing. And it was on a natural 20 in the box. So your friend gets it. Oh, okay.

Stay right there. Much more importantly, let's see if killing an attack hits. Oh, God. Please roll well. Don't deflate the moment. He's now a master. Swordsman. Yeah, let's see if this baby could kill this guy.

What did you roll? He tilted it. He can do whatever he wants. He's the new dad. That's a 23. It's exactly a miss. Yeah, he missed. But you got a cap. Wait.

I got to spend that guy. He's fine. He's fine. He's going to get a guy. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait. He's frightened one. He's frightened one. Wade? You son of a bitch!

Wait! He's frightened one! Hit. We got him! We got him! for Randall and Alyssa. Congratulations. I really should give them this die back. I know, yeah.

Oh, that's so awesome. That's so awesome. Tearing up. I know, be too. Oh. It's 10 points of damage. I'm just going to do the rest of the show like this. All right.

So you went up. demoralize swan End of your turn Yeah If 10 points of damage did not put him down That's it Sir Norval He is still up

It is your turn You are at his feet Conscious sword next to you Prone What do you do? Sir Norville is going to leave his sword He's going to jump up And try to tackle this guy to the ground

Oh I'm going to do an athletics check Okay To grab For a restrain, hopefully. Against my fort, Nick. Against your fort, yes. Okay. Frightened for it.

Frighten for it. I'm going to use, this is an opalite. Yours foundry, Boulder. It is the die that killed Tolitha. Oh. I'm hoping tonight... I'm going to use it. Redeem that die.

Redeem it. Redeem it. Die can be redeemedemed. This is huge I'm big I mean it's like life and death Hang on though I gotta make sure my

Oh my God I gotta make sure my skill went up It didn't Your skill always goes up Oh it should I should be an expert now Oh Dope

Yep Yes nope Sorry I didn't do that I got checks in D.C's okay Quick character edit To make the role better Yeah it seems like cheating You want to know the D.C. before and

It's not Yeah Let me do you see. DC 23. That's frightened. I have plus one from guidance. Okay. So I'm, you know,

it's a plus 14 to this role. Okay. Not even God himself could fail this role. It's funny because you're like right next to him. Oh. He's nervous. Those dancer hands. It's cracked. It's not cracked.

It's not cracked at all. My nice tray is lumpy. So that will be a 29 There we go. Success. Got a lumpy dice tray. I got a lumpy dice tray. Okay. So a success.

The target is grabbed until the end of your next turn unless you move or your target escapes. Can I do it? Once I have him grabbed. Stand up, grab, slam his head against the floor. Yeah. Choke him. Kill him now. Kiss him.

I just want to arrest him. God. So righteous. So no one. And I was like, can I do another athletics to restrain him? How does that work? You have to crit on the grapple to restrain.

Could you do like a sleeper show? He's fighting against you right now. I've got him. You could attempt again at the map, I think, by the book. And if you crit, you'll restrain him, but it's hard. Very low chance. If I fail, but he's...

If I don't succeed to... Is he released? You fail to grab the target. If you already had the target Grabbed or restrained using and grappled those conditions on the target end Yeah Just grab them You're good

I'll hold him there You hold him there This guy's got to know when he's beat Come on All right so you I'll say I'll say Sir Lehman Consider yourself under arrest

So you've got him He goes He just whispers in your ear And he says His father Told me to do it And we'll be back after this quick intermission. Oh, so good.

See you soon. Holy shit. Oh, man. It's Marie Antoinette Month on the Vulgar History Podcast. Every week in September, we will be talking about the notorious French queen. Why is she still talked about today? Did she really say, let them eat cake? Spoiler, she did not.

Why do people still think she deserved? to have her head cut off. We're going to be taking a deep dive into Marie Antoinette's life and world to try to answer the question, how do you solve a problem like Marie Antoinette? Listen to vulgar history wherever you get podcasts. How does love work exactly? What makes something funny? How does noise affect your health?

These are just a sample of the fascinating topics we discuss on my podcast, Something You Should Know. We bring you leading experts on topics. important to you, things you can use in your life, and that will fascinate you. We deliver three episodes a week and have over a thousand episodes available to listen. So get listening to Something You Should Know, wherever you get your podcasts. From the creators of the Leviathan Chronicles comes a new audio adventure. Join Treasure Hunter's Captain Jeffrey Tully and Oberlin St. Clair as they build their dream research ship, the Invenios, and assemble a daring crew.

But soon, their adventures plunge them into a globe-spanning conspiracy with hidden ties to Leviathan and visitors from beyond this world. The Invenios Expeditions, the newest series from Leviathan Audio Productions, available now wherever you listen to podcasts. Nice. We're back! We're back, baby! Did everybody get a nice sip of bourbon from that bottle McDee brought to their background? Oh, just us? Cheers, everybody.

Hey, ladies and gentlemen, let's give a round of applause to good buddy McDee. Yeah, Nick Dee. Does so much behind the scenes. He's been through a lot. He's been through a lot recently. Let's offer our things. Raise our glass. Yeah.

And have a great Gen Con, everybody. Yeah. Man, we were talking backstage. We geek out on this stuff. It's not like, all right, hey. We check in, check out. Like, we was like, that was so great. I love how that happened.

What should we do now? Walking on stage. Should we do it? And Joe's like, let's just do it. Let's do it on stage. Just figure it out on stage. What do you want to do? What do you want to do?

Wait. So much has happened here. Very little of it planned. And it feels very realistic what has happened here. It feels realistic because it feels unplanned. And like life is a lot like that, right? And so if it's up to me, I hate to throw it right back at you. But seriously, and maybe this is just to Matthew, that was an awesome cliffy.

and so I think in the moment you've got to deal with this just you. You're the only one that here is this amazing line. His father told me to do it. And I just want to pick up there. Killian didn't hear that, so. We'll talk later.

For now, consider yourself under arrest. And let's restrain him. We need to like restrain him. And then, I mean, do we have a dungeon in this key? Oh, yeah. We'll say there's a dungeon. It's shitty, but there's a dungeon. It's not a night.

Dungeons? It's not like one of those like Country Club Dungeons. It only has like one... Shitty dungeon? Perfect. It only has like one bar. Just walks out. A little slit though

with just one bar. They meant to build more bars. I just never got around to it. So like Barvis Tongue took the prince like upstairs. Tonk and a couple of guards took the prince into the king's chambers. And once he was gone... Excuse me, not the king. The baron's chambers.

Within the building. Within the building, yes. And then the baroness took her daughters away as well. He wanted to discuss this situation with the outwriters away from them. You just grab Lehman Quince's hands and you put him around his back and he just is defeated. Here's what Kate wants to do. Please. Let's interrogate the heck out of this guy.

Yeah. While he's in jail. Yeah. Are you talking about? enhance interrogation Are you going to put words in my mouth, Joe? Let's just speak plainly here. We're among friends.

Considering he more or less confessed. Yeah, but we need more details before we go to the baron. We need to cut his dick off. I didn't say any of that. He left us no other choice. We have to cut his dick off. We have diplomacy.

We have intimidation. I have to stop his dick and twisted. I have to stop him. I didn't say that. Okay. Feed it to the hounds. But we need more information before we go to the baron with accusations of just one sentence. Yes, but what we were talking about backstage was that we also have the immediate threat of the outriders.

Now, Joe had an interesting idea. The arrest of Salim and Quince doesn't solve the problem of the outriders. There's no doubt about that. And I wonder if there's a way and he's looking at the baron. Your lordship, I don't want to. to kill these men. They don't, look, I don't know that each one of them is innocent per se,

but as a whole, they've got nothing to do with this. They're just following orders. And I feel like perhaps if we could find a way to make them want to leave, to make them think they need to head back to their king, quickly with all haste, that maybe we could spare a few lives, but still get the results we're looking for.

the baron clearly is out of his league here with the situation and he's just like what is what is the ultimate plan though do you think the king of Mendev is going to let his sons marry our daughters if he believes that we're the hapless victims of a haunted fucking house no we need to think about what happened here what the prince saw what we will tell them these there are ghouls there are

are ghosts living among us, yes, but there will be nothing compared to the king's army should they decide to raise this village, this village that my father built. Your Lordship, perhaps Helena is right. We interrogate quince if we can find any source to this undead menace, find a way to stop it from happening, we can report all of it to the king, and honestly, we can say what happened, we can say we solved the problem, and we can still become the barony you search for. and of his dead gods, his dead knights, what do we say of them? They mean nothing next to his living son.

I can tell you that as a father. I am a father too, and I will do anything to protect my daughters and my child to come. Spoilers. But we need to buy time. The outriders won't wait too long. We must find a way to get them out of here. If does anyone have an idea? Endromeda, you're smart, you're clever.

Is there anything you can think of that could make them want to leave? I have an idea, but it will involve lying. Great. That sounds great. I'm fine with lying. Perhaps. What have you been for the last, like, several days? He's going to cut his dick off.

Just tell us a fucking idea. He's about to cut Sir Lehman quits his dick off and feats to him. I don't see how that helps us either. I just think... I just want to say, while this is happening, I'm healing you guys. Oh, sweet. I think perhaps we can say that they need to prepare for the wedding, that with all due haste, we are going to mend.

for the wedding. The prince is excited. Everything went off without a problem. The townspeople are thrilled, and they need a big celebration. Not a shitty tarp. Sorry about the tarp. But they say it has to be in Mendev.

Not here. So the outriders must return at haste. Yes, but they are to return with my daughter and the prince and his entire retinue. But they are delayed. due to your wife's pregnancy. The family needs to stay close. Then they will travel together

within a fortnight's time. This is good, you lordship. The prince thought it, the prince thought of prudent to stay in honor of his new bride's family and witness the birth of their third child and possible heir. Could we take the temperature of the prince

see if he'd be willing to... I don't think thermometers have been implanted yet. could we but perhaps really got thrown off by that one feel the forehead of the prince sweating

that's such a naked that's such a naked gun it really is but we could we need to know if the prince would be willing to give that order that would make it so easy for all of us

if he just gave the order yes all right now you're starting to make sense yes go forward without me all right so so we'll speak with the prince and what of the outriders

You send them back And for Andromeda's Plan Tell them to inform the king The prince will be delayed here for a period of time And then we'll return to Mendev For his post-nuptial celebrations In due time

And he will remain under the protection of Sir Donald Kane And his retinue And the outriders are no longer needed I don't know if they will listen to my authority If only one member of them was still alive. It's not your authority, your lordship. Sorry to cut you off, but it's their princes.

His word goes. We need to convince him, only him, if he's willing to do it. And he might be because I'm telling you, it was brief. And I know that I know the things people say and I'm not going to repeat them here,

but I think he knows the importance of this marriage. Yes. I think he wants to marry a daughter for whatever reasons he has. Yes. I think he'll want to say this. To make that happen. Yes.

We need to convince him that Donald Kane was corrupted. He was dominated by something, some dark magic that we're going to clean out right now. We don't need to get into that right now. All right, so, so we'll convince the prince, and we will escort him to the outriders to tell them to leave. And perhaps Silverfront and I can do what we did with the fireworks, we could make a figment. of Donald Cain in the background to just prove that he is still here to protect

the prince, but far away, by the carriage. Yes, this is good. Perhaps you could portray him as drunk, and stumbling. Just like piss it at a quarter. Is that Sir Donald Cain with his dick out? But we have not solved the essential problems. It's true what they say of Cair. It would involve

lying. I understand. Matthew. That's so funny. And the good news is the spell figment does say that the figment will be crude. So I think if Donald Kane is pissing Don't tell Troy that.

Is pissing. No, it is crude. He's pissing. It's important. I don't think that's what that means. So we could also weaken that Bernie's Donald Kane. That's true. That's true.

That's true. He's got cool. sunglasses on. He's sitting in the front of the carriage holding the rains. Weekend at Bernie's Donald's. He's leading him out the door and he's like, hey! That would be so funny. He died to a fire slap in the face, so as long as we don't show his face and light. Put his helmet on. All right. All right. All right. You've

made some sense here. We have. Snoosed us. A lot of great ideas. A lot of great ideas. Back pocket. the dick thing but I have a sorry I have an idea

I need a second you can keep doing what you're doing but Matthew meet me just off state what oh so many shenanigans Helena is in the middle of treating

them and they run away and she goes where did they go do you guys want to run out there and say something oh should we do you want to be alone no I was going to hang out with skin You guys can run off stage if you want

All right, Kate, do you want to go talk over there? Sure Okay How's the new apartment? That's great It's nice Yeah You like your neighbors?

Yeah Yeah, they're nice Good Yeah You uh See Superman? Yeah, I saw it today It was CJ

Oh, they're back Yeah They're back Oh Oh For the listening audience Uh Joe is wearing sunglasses

And is limp hanging on Matthew Matthew Matthew is pretending to pour a bottle of whiskey Into his mouth And stumbling Oh And he fell down And the whiskey...

Just can't hold his liquor. See, just like that, it's easy. Perfect. Before you guys so rudely left, Norville, 41 hip points back, you're not wounded anymore. Bachelor of fighting. Killian, 46 hip points back, you're not wounded anymore. Oh, yeah.

Does anyone need anything else from me? Help. Help. Help. Very badly. Oh my God, I'll swim. Okay. While you're healing, the baron says,

all right. We'll try it your way. Who will speak with the prince? You, the likes of you. Elena, could you do it? What? She's like sweating. Bloody hands from like trying to heal you all.

What? What did you? I've been busy. you're good with Beatrix you understand them you understand how to talk to them I think you could What did you decide

You need to convince him To tell the outriders To lead the way towards the wedding Try that not get them to do the wedding Convince the prince No no no Convince the prince to order his Outriders to be an advanced

Outrider to do what their job is To go back to Mendev To ride out That he's going to be delayed But right behind them And you can tell him That, like, what we said, that, like, Sir Donald Kane, like, had a bout of madness because of some poison, whatever, in the ground that we're going to fix. Siphilis.

Sir Donald. And I don't want to suggest it came from us. So if we say, like, Sir Donald Cain's advanced syphilis. Right. From another town. From a previous case. Anyway, look, I think the big point is Beatrix will not be able to. You can't marry her if you don't do this, basically.

She will not be safe. Well, you can all go. You can all go. and talk to the prince. Yeah. I put a knife to his throat. Can we put Sir Lehman in the dungeon? Well, the Baron's not done talking.

He's been trying to talk, but you're doing bits. I'm sorry. You know, this happens to me all the time. When you Delta Green, have you ever heard of that one? You do a lot of bits, but I'm trying to gym. I'm the only one working here. Yeah, you are. 46 points.

That's a lot of work. Well, it's been a while. You guys have been talking for a while. Do you roll a natural 20. I did roll a natural 20 at one point. Dope. Dope. The Baron says.

This guy's sick of our beds. The Baron says, all right, we will try this, but you have to understand what is at stake here. If this goes foul, if the prince decides to cry out the truth, all will go sour. The King's armies outnumber us hundred to one, and we are even less manned now with all. these deaths here, we have bodies that we're going to have to dispose of, our own and theirs. If this does not work, these ghouls and goblins and ghosts, we will have to conscript them into our army, or take the easy way out, and he points to the dead body of Eldron who took his own life. That may be our only recourse, should this fail. Well, Helena

wipes her brow after treating Oswin and goes, well, I mean, how hard it could it be? The prince doesn't like girls, we could just use that as leverage. You all know that, right? That's very obvious to you. Gilling is like, like right in front of the band. Sorry, were you all talking for 45 minutes

about what to do and you didn't know that? No, it's more like we wouldn't say in it to his lordship. But you do you, Helena. We're very good at what you do. I thought we were more evolved. That. What are you talking about?

What are you talking about? We could use this leverage so that we can convince him to see what we want. Probably just say that to him. Yes. I think maybe... What is she talking about? Maybe like bees with honey instead of vinegar first. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, I just want to say real quick. I just want to say real quick. That's genius. That's exactly what you say is genius. No. My character. is like, you're saying one in front of the bat, but like, no, you're exactly right.

Okay, good, thank you. Why are we trying to catch him? Why are we trying to catch bees? Exactly, Oswin. Just go. Leave this scene. All right, we put Lehman. Please.

We put Lehman Quinn's in the dungeon. Yes. And then we go see the prince. You slam the one bar. Why don't we split the party? why doesn't you like question quince and i'll go with you oh a little scene double scene i love that come on

let's go melina and andromeda in this first night of jenkins with the pruning yes so so wait what oswin what are you doing he's killing every outright yeah i'm actually goes to the ramparts this is like i think oswin wants to

he wants to ambush these riders and like he like he's sincerely thinks that he can pick them all off given a stout location to work from he thinks he thinks he can kill them all so he's going to he's going to head out and like try to like scouts a sniper spot okay let's get into it andromeda a three-way party split a three-way classic gencon three-way you guys get That's why Jen Con is the best. Happens every year.

Right. Elena and Andromeda go speak with the prince, Quince, excuse me, Sir Norville and Killian bring Sir Lehman Quince down to the one barred dungeon and Oswin goes to scout. Let's start with

Sir Levin Quince. You throw him in there. He's just a little. just staring at the floor. Sir Lehman, this is your opportunity to defend your actions and expand upon what you told me up in the hall. What have you done?

You don't understand. I can't. I can't if the baron were to find out. He'd have me executed for besmirching his father's name. Help us to understand. The baron is... Look, because of all this, the baron is losing his grip. He's losing his hold with every passing second. You are getting us inside on what's happening here could maybe save his chance.

His honor, his... Yes, but the baron loves his father. He idolized him. If he were to know the truth... I loved his father. I knew him before you did. What did he say? I don't know all of the details.

I just did, as I was told. But he had mentioned to me that the Dawn Blade and the other nights, they knew things they weren't supposed to know. They helped him dispose of things that were found during the excavation of the building of the keep. Things that belong to perhaps previous inhabitants. And so he did not trust them and said that they needed to be eliminated.

And so he promised me a higher position if I led them into a known air. area that was full of rampaging orcs. The orc part was true. I led them into a trap

and they all perished. I came back and said that I was part of the fight and that I barely survived. I banged my face against some rocks, smashed my arm

so that it would be bruised and battered. But I led them to their death. He starts weeping. Did he ever tell you what they found? Did he keep it secret from you?

Something to do with goddess. Old remnants of Ayomede Everything that they found was giving off a bad

omen and he said that it conflicted with Saidan's teachings it conflicted with Saidanus grace and if removed it would be the catalyst of allowing

Rosewood Vale to flourish and sure enough whatever they did, whatever they removed, whatever they took care of, Rosewood Vale did flourish, so he was right to do this, but I think he grew paranoid of what they knew and said they needed to be disposed of. He was a good man. Was it a statue?

The goddess I own today? Statues, yes. Relics. One small part of it. Perhaps the one we found, Killian. I'm sure that was only one small part of a A number of relics that were left behind Are you saying that he said that relics of Iomade Were directly opposed

To Saidan? That's what he said Omadee is a champion of Good What's right The downtrodden That's where he said Yes

Again, I didn't have all the details, but I... You went along with it, despite your vows. He was my liege lord, I did, as I was told, and was rewarded for it. You said I besmirched your honor. Sir, you have no honor to besmirch. Cut too. outside of the Barron's Chambers. Barvis Tonk is sitting in a chair.

Bleeding out? Bleeding out. One of the other guards is attending to him and trying to bandage him up. He's an ivy. He's wheeling along an ivy, and they're standing outside the door. He starts to try and stand up. He's like, what? What are you doing?

Well, he's got a dwarf voice. What are you doing? Um, we'd like to check on the prince. Make sure he's okay. If he needs any healing. The Baron Central? Yes. She lied.

Actually, she didn't. Son of a bitch. She never lied. Just take it back. Yes, I tell the truth. All right. He's a bit shaken. You're bleeding

Yeah Can you do anything about that Elena, maybe you can help I mean obviously the prince takes precedence over you So I'll get to you when I Maybe come back out That's cool I just pooped blood

You would agree I just pooped blood But yeah no go talk to the prince Thank you You go in And the prince is Like sitting at the end of the baron's bed Huge bad, little prince

He looks up at you Adromeda closes the door Slam! Much heavier than I thought, sorry Oh Hello Harold, I'm Helena Andromeda, Civic Wizard for... Just here to check on you.

It's Prince Harold. Sorry, your lordship, Prince Harold. It's not a lordship. Your highness. Highness. I take a knee. I'm just here to check on you and make sure you have no injuries. Do you mind?

No. So she comes up and she starts, you know, checking him over. My arm's all fucked up. Oh, okay. This guy seems pretty cool. Is his arm mess up? Is his arm messed up? Yeah, it's like all slashed up.

Oh, okay. Oh, okay. I can fix this easy. Somebody swung at me and I put my arm up. Andromeda starts to look around, where is, um, Beatrix? They brought me here. I, I haven't seen her. Is she okay? Did you, did you speak with her? Does she harmed? Is her arm fucked up? Andromeda trying not to lie just starts like kind of nodding and shaking her head and looking at Helena. what's going So Helena's finishing healing you

You get 24 hip points back Oh thank you With your arm is fine I was down 24 She rolled in natural 19 So you're like Probably super impressed That should take care of the syphilis

He doesn't have No we've established That magical healing Both cannot heal broken bones or diseases You're right You're right Yep But in the remaster

it does remove syphilis. That's right. That is explicitly. They cleared that out. Critical success the whole chapter and it's also heal syphilis. It's in the erratus.

Your highness? What's going on here? What happened? What happened down there? Don't worry. It must be hard to have all of this on your shoulders. We mean don't worry. There was dead bodies

everywhere. Mother Meeks. The Holy Mother. Some of your people. Sir Donald Kane, the Knights. What is going on here? Yes. I came to talk to you about this. I am a civic wizard for Roosevelt and...

Don't laugh at her. She talks normally. Andromeda hears laughter from the guards outside the door. You hear a stupid voice. But she's used to it. Doesn't even phase her anymore. She literally slaps someone to death and you're laughing at her. She slapped a knight of the king to death.

My understanding of these arcane things is that Sir Donald Cain was very sick. He didn't act sick. I've known Sir Donald Cain my entire life. He has protected me. He had a temper, but he wasn't sick. I know Sir Donald Cain. Did you see? I saw it.

He was. He was trying to protect me from whatever's going on in this cursed place. I watched him cut the head off of a serving girl. I watched him murder friends of mine. I'm so sorry for what happened. But he was sick. And you are of utmost importance, Your Highness. Of course.

That is why Helena and I are here To protect you Protect me from what Well, I imagine you don't want to Maybe marry into this town after This debacle I don't know I hadn't really thought about that

You wanted to marry Beatrix Yeah My dad said I had to And so It's your responsibility Yeah, that's what I'm going to do. Expectation. Yeah.

I mean, it would be a failure if you did not. Yeah. But he's not going to be happy when he hears about what happened here. So, what if you don't have to marry Beatrix? And perhaps our punishment for whatever happened here is exactly that. What do you mean? We propose. You come to your outriders and tell them to head home, to prepare for your return.

My return without Lady Beatrix? You will return later with Lady Beatrix, but between us, you can tell us if you actually wish to marry her. I do Then you will What do I say about what happened We understand this is complicated We think the best course of action Is to

Show Sir Donald Kane Still alive In a sort of figment He could wave from far behind you Is that what you were talking about? about what I was... To your outriders. Hey, Lou, you.

Wait, what? So you guys didn't talk off stage. That's what I'm gathering. Wait, no. I can't... I can't lie to them. No, I... No, I don't...

I don't understand. I don't understand what's going on here. I want to call my dad. No. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I sent a helicopter for me. Panic.

Dad! No, no, no, no, please. Helena, I'm calling him. Helena will explain to you what is needed. I will fix this squeaky floorboard. Oh my God. What? So just forgets what she said.

I don't even know what she's talking about. Me neither. The door, this. Which I was trying to say is obviously, no matter how you spin it, messed up stuff happened here. Yeah. And perhaps you have other. wants and needs that Beatrix can't fulfill and maybe things that you would like that your duties don't allow.

And to get around that, perhaps our punishment as a town could be that you don't marry into us. So we are good, you are good, and everything is good. That's not good. No? Why is that not good? Because I have to do what I'm told. there's a chance. You can't talk to your father?

No, no, it's no talking to my father. My father makes the rules. Why is this such a strict rule? No, he is right. I understand this. You have to listen to who is in charge. And that is why you need to tell your outriders that you are okay.

Everything is normal and you will return back to Mendev. That the wedding will proceed. that you and Beatrix will be right behind What about the Knights? What about Sir Donald Kane? Okay, let's say I tell

the Outriders this. What's going to happen when I come home without these people? We will figure that out. But I learned We meaning the royal we

not your problem. You are a highness. We are the people of the town, what you do, and I learned this recent... Why is he excluded from the royal we when he's the only nobility here? The only royal... Is that the editorial?

Yeah. The most important thing I learned, Your Highness... Please get to that. There is something... There is something called lying by omission. This is why. And you don't have to tell the truth, because you don't have to tell the truth, because you don't to say what happened. You don't

mention Sir Donald Gain. Why would I do this? Why would I lie? What is in it for me? The wedding. That it will still happen. Do you think Lord Montrose wants to marry

Beatrix? Do you? Okay. I think I see what you're saying. You need this as much as us. Cut to the camp. Thank God. She did great. Ladies gentlemen, Sidney Emanuel.

Talking to a teen prince is hard. In all fairness, in all fairness, like, that was awesome. This is amazing. It's Game of Thrones. Yeah. And that shit's easy when you're just writing everything and making it up and can figure everything out for yourself on all sides. Right.

When you're really role-playing it, it is hard as fuck. And someone says, why would I do that? And you think, I have no idea. Yeah. But to be fair. George R. Martin takes like three weeks to come up with an answer to that question. Right. To be fair, you had already answered the question together, which was blackmail.

Well, still, it was very hard. You did great. You did great. Matthew, you can't just say blackmail. That means nothing. You can't just say blackmail. Kate was going to, like, threaten to expose him. Yeah.

I was a threat. I was saying, you get something out of this and we get something out of it. He was like, nope. Not an option. Before the negotiation started. Before we were several ways of it. Anyway, it's awesome because it's such a brutally difficult situation. Yeah.

But this is going to be easy. the assassination of every member of the Outriders It's a lot more straightforward Cut and dry No politics I got it I got it

I got it handled Cut to The Outrider camp We don't even need to roll For any of this In fact Let's cut to the map No

You shut your mouth You have a map Oh yeah Fuck Uh-oh Oh Oh it's night And it's Oswin

Oswin, you creep up for the second time to this camp of Outriders. Don't forget, this one little thing that hasn't been discussed, this camp is looking for a dead member of theirs. Whose tent was on fire? Actually, the body's missing. A missing member. Whose tent was on fire. Right.

Quick question. Real quick. I just want, before we go forward, what's his name? He looks really concerned. He's got such a face of like a concerned man. Who's that guy? Did you zoom in on him? Yeah.

What's he? What's his name? That's Reggie. Reggie? Just see you know. You're going to kill Reggie. Oh, hey, all right. Reggie.

Just a concerned citizen. Vondersmith. All right, Reggie von der Smith. He's on the list. All right. So you. on the list. You creep up.

There's lights about and you see several members of this group milling about talking by a fire in the center of the camp. You know, maybe hanging out in front of their tents eating, cussin,

gambling. Fucking. Jesus! It's a wedding. You know what happens So grass It's just funny you Like

It's fucking What's going on over there Looks like a fun time What do you What's the goal here? What's playing? Well now it's like I'm going to try to

Find Anyone who's like Standing Apart from the group A single person Who is not within view of anyone else, and I'm going to kill him.

Okay. I like how Osmond is actually like a serial killer. Yeah, I mean, he was forced into it. I blame society. All right, you're standing there. Not a good thing to clap at. He's innocent. call the call 911 on society

you're standing there and you see a guy this guy name you don't know his name that's what makes it all he's also reggie yeah he's there all reggie no he's not reggie he comes up and he's reggie van der smith he comes up and he's Sam

shut up he comes up around here and he like barfs into the bushes is perfect. And he's like just kind of sitting there retching like he ate some bad meat. Oh, I'll never eat sushi in a landlock state. And he's just like, he's got his back to you, essentially,

and he's puking. Sounds to me like he's helpless. God. Why even roll? Oh, this reminds me of my children and wife. Hi. And that new laboratory. Oh!

I would have to walk up. I named him after my father. It's stealthily behind him. Oh, God. Oh, man. Leave your guy. I have to. I'd love to.

Oh, right, right. You can't. You can't move? I can. Yeah. There he goes. I didn't give you power. Oh,

oh, man. We've got to remember to pay for that life insurance when I get back. I want to make sure if anything should happen to me on the road. Okay. Mary Ann and Susan and Jimmy. Up behind him. I'm going to place the tip. of my arrow, my drawn bow, right against just an inch away from the base of his skull.

Oh, this is the worst birthday ever. Ever to fire. So just to review, he has a wife, children, a newly bought Labrador. Named after his deceased. He's meant to catch up on his life insurance payments, and it's his birthday. Yeah. And what did I miss? He's had some sushi from a landmark state.

Right. Oh. It's the worst bread to him. Okay. So, yeah, we just see point of the arrow up against his head. And I fire. You fire. All right.

I'm going to have you roll. Okay. It would be crazy if you missed. Okay. You shoot it. right into the back where his brain stem is and he's just like

silent scream and he collapses now what he's still alive on foundry could you kill him okay does ever yeah

dead Does every outright get a name in a back story? More one out for Reggie. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. Reggie VanderSmith. I grab him by the feet and I drag him off into the bushes. Drag him off into the bushes.

And then I pluck the arrow out from the base of his skull. I only have so many. Pluck the arrow out from the base of his skull. And then I hunt for my next victim. Oh, God. You wait in the shadows, the stench of the death of that innocent man. No, he's not innocent.

No. What did he do wrong? He was in arrears on his life insurance payments? It's irresponsible. spreading syphilis spreading syphilis throughout the camp you have to wonder if a member of your former gang or real low life

was a member of this group of outwriters there's no reason to think that all of these guys are pretty unsavory characters yeah I mean it's like the way I see it is like right now he's in a position a place of desperation

the fact that they were harboring a person that he knew to be like a murderer someone who would harm him personally, does not speak well for their organizational sort of principles. So, yeah, he does not, he's not worrying himself with their relative sort of guilt or innocence at this point. It's like, this is an enemy for as far as he sees. And so he's going, he's not worrying about, like, killing them one by one.

So something that has to be done. Okay. Give me a perception check. Uh, 21. You hear a rustling sound, uh, of someone approaching from behind you. Like, in the direction that you came. Okay. Whips around.

Whip around, and you have a bow drawn. Bo, an arrow pointed at Riddian Silverfront. What? She puts her hands up. I mean, you know, no harm, sir. I saw you leave And I followed Can I put my hands down

And you put your bow down Right He sort of relaxes the bowstring grabs the arrow between his two fingers on his hand That's not missing any fingers And then On his right hand with his middle

finger he like lifts it up to his to his lips like shh and points towards somewhere away from anywhere they could be heard you guys go over there a little further out of ear shot she says I don't know you but I feel as if I do as if I do I don't judge a man For his past or is present That's not my business But I felt as if our Purposes were aligned

Part of my training Is specifically designed To help leaders From themselves The Baron is out of his leg here you have the right of it there is no

lying to these men there is no way out but to kill them and like his heart is pounding in his chest because he knows like he's listening but he knows that if she were to cry out this would all be over

immediately and he has this like bow it's still ready to fire right at her throat if she decides to make a noise. Right. And she's being very cautious. Perhaps with my magics and your archery, we could take things into our own hands.

Can I do a perception to see if she's being honest with me? Yeah, we'll sense motive. A little sense moat. A little sense moat. Uh, that is a 27. A 27. She is, like, completely honest. So honest.

So honest. She knows that, like, this is the only way out. Yes, you convince the Baron otherwise. They talked him into it because he's weak. If they, if one single rider sniffs, anything gets back to the king, Rosewood Vale is a crater. there are problems that have to be dealt with but you have the right of it

and he just lowered like the tip of his arrow is like dripping with blood and he says what exactly do you propose and she just lifts her hands up

flames pop into her palms We burn it to the ground I'll make a circle of fire If anyone tries to escape it You pick them off All right All right witch

If this is your Proposal I am a mean We see the dungeon with Sir Lehman Quince weeping into his hands. Sir Norval and Killian staring at each other, realizing that perhaps all of this began from a decision the original Lord Montrose made. We see the door to the Baron's bedroom open up, and Helena and Andromeda leading the prince out with Barba's

Tonk who has yet to be healed and the two other guards and then we just see the camp from above is a ring of fire

in circle set and we'll see you next time I'll see you next time I love you guys! Love you guys! It's time to make your membership official. Start your 30-day free trial today and become an official at join the nash with the promo code GCN30. That's join the N-A-I-S-H.com and use code G-CN-30 to gain access to exclusive podcasts,

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Of welcome to Night Vale. And on our new show, The Best Worst, we explore the Golden Age of Television. To do that, we're watching the IMDB viewer-rated best and worst episodes of classic TV shows. The episode of Star Trek, where Beverly Crusher has sex with a ghost, the episode of the X-Files, where Scully gets attacked by a vicious housecat. And also, the really good episodes, too. What can we learn from the best and worst of great television? Like, for example, is it really a bad episode or do people just hate women? The best worst, available wherever you get your podcasts.