The Glass Cannon Podcast - Gatewalkers Episode 54 – Tickled Pink
Episode Date: October 4, 2024As Alleli attempts to redirect the aiudara back to Golarion so that the heroes can return to their home planet, the gate and all hell breaks loose! Watch the video here: https://youtu.be/XVe5LdliDYU ... This episode was sponsored by Foundry VTT and Norse Foundry. See why tabletop gamers everywhere have made the switch to Foundry Virtual Tabletop at https://foundryvtt.com/gcp For all your random number-generating needs, visit Norse Foundry at https://norsefoundry.com If you are looking for a story with rich lore, deep characters, and unforgettable world-building, listen to The Forgotten King wherever you listen to podcasts or head to tfkseries.com for more. Visit https://hensonshaving.com/GCP to pick the razor for you, and use code "GCP" to get two years' worth of blades free with your razor—just make sure to add them to your cart. Access exclusive podcasts, ad-free episodes, and livestreams with a 30-day free trial with code "GCN30" at jointhenaish.com. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. Watch new episodes when they premiere every Thursday at 8PM ET on youtube.com/theglasscannon. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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You are listening to the Glass Cannon Network,
the premier source for role playing game entertainment.
Last week on the Glass Cannon Podcast.
I think it's going to be fine.
I think no one's going to die.
You're fighting a dragon and you are trespassers.
30 points of piercing damage.
You'll be fine.
You'll take three points of poison damage.
He's down.
I down.
I down.
I down.
I'm certified.
Second tail strike comes out at Buggles.
You take four more points of poison damage.
You're down?
I'm down.
Fang attack on you.
18 points of piercing.
I'm down.
Wow.
Maybe we just start a new adventure path.
Oh my God.
Everything is on the table right now.
Okay.
Oh my God.
Are you serious?
23 for the second one.
That's a hit.
That's a hit.
You kill the drag.
Oh!
You!
I told you we'd be fine.
Listen to me.
No, we're in trouble.
You are not fine.
If this works, as I believe it will,
the gate will be redirected to your home world.
Open the gate.
And with a deep chest rattling hum,
and with a deep chest rattling hum, the telescope blasts a beam of light into the sky.
The telescope's beam suddenly changes direction,
refracting towards several points in the sky.
And then Lely's like, no, no, no, the Ayudara's broken loose.
Hold on, we won't have another chance at this!
And all of a sudden, the landscape around you changes.
The adventure continues now.
I'm gonna be a good boy. Ladies and gentlemen, we're back here in Glass Cannon Studios for another thrilling adventure episode.
Did your brain just break? studios for another thrilling adventure episode.
I was going to say another thrilling adventure of the glass cannon podcast,
which isn't totally inaccurate.
Didn't you also just say the glass cannon podcast.
Welcome back to the glass cannon podcast.
Another thrilling adventure of the glass cannon podcast.
Do you think before you speak?
No, no. Well I did. And that's still what came out. podcast another thrilling adventure of the glass cannon podcast. I don't know where. Do you think before you speak?
No, no.
Well, I did.
And that's still what came out.
Maybe think less.
Do you guys like my new kicks?
Whoa.
Whoa.
Look at those dunks.
Yeah.
I like those little powder blue action.
Nike dunk it.
I like those.
The hot red on the bottom.
Are those an athlete's branded shoes or are those?
What are their names?
Yes, the athlete, the Greek god Nike.
Oh.
Greek goddess.
Greek goddess.
Yeah, Greek goddess Nike.
Yeah, I got some new kicks.
I'm very impressed about how you got your foot up there
on camera.
If I tried to do that, I'd rip a groin
and be on my way to the hospital.
I think I could go foot on my head.
You've done this before.
Oh my god.
That scares me.
Oh, wow.
46.
That's surprising.
That scares me.
That's very impressive. That's some pretty good flexibility. Only scares me. Wow. 46. That's surprising.
It scares me.
That's very impressive.
That's some pretty good flexibility.
Only several surgeries.
Yeah.
Now let me show you the hamburger.
No, that's a different thing.
What was I going to talk about?
Oh, so I got these new kicks, right?
And I mentioned that I'm coaching Little League on the weekends, assistant coaching, because
we travel.
Otherwise I would head coach.
And we go to leave the other day and I threw out my old sneakers because I wore them until
they just like walked out of the house.
I was like, see ya.
I bought these.
Just like my jeans, I kind of rock one pair of shoes at a time.
I got my show shoes and I got these, but they're both nice Nikes.
So we're about to go.
Do you have athletic shoes?
Do you have sneakers for cross training?
I did and those are the ones that left.
I bought these CrossFit shoes forever.
Before Archer was born, that's how I wear shoes and jeans into the ground.
So you go running in your dunks?
Well, I haven't run in these yet.
This is where I'm kind of getting to it.
I know they're not good running shoes.
Anyways, I'm not really running that much anymore.
I'm just lifting and these are fine for lifting.
However, here's the point.
We're going to the fields
and I start putting on my like Timberland work boots
and she's like, what are you doing?
You just bought new sneakers.
I'm like, I'm not wearing my Nike dunks
to the baseball field in the fall
when it's just mud and grass.
She goes, I'll just use a magic eraser on it
when you get home.
Like, no, you cannot magic erase away mud and grass
on brand new sneakers.
Nothing cleans grass off of white sneakers.
Grass stains are permanent.
And she thought I was crazy.
She was like, you're gonna look foolish.
I'm like, I'll just put on the timelines.
I'll put my jeans over.
Follow-up question.
OK.
So you were wearing jeans in the baseball field.
I was wearing jeans, yeah.
Which is a little bit weird, too.
Yeah, well, I'm not.
I told her, like.
What weirder is athletic shorts and Timberland boots.
Right.
I wasn't rocking like George Cassanza at the Indian Wedding.
But I had my jeans over.
You couldn't really tell.
And I'm so glad I did, because sure enough, third and first
base is just a mud pool.
And I'm doing very little running,
just chasing down balls from these kids
that can't throw for shit.
And I don't know, was I crazy?
No, no, you're right.
For the first time ever.
No, you're right.
You're right, and she's crazy.
With the options available to you, you chose crazy.
Well, also, I mean, people get real crazy
about Nike Dunks and sneakerhead people.
They won't crease them
You know, they don't want to bend your foot in a certain way
I'm not that guy
But like I definitely when you buy new things you want to stay new as long as possible the first time I scuff it
Then I know like alright, well, we can be a little bit more loose shoes
I got nice
I got nice new shoes that I was excited about this little shoe store in Asheville when we went to Asheville
And I was like these are gonna be show sneaks about shoes on the road
But I know when I went with my family but I sneaks. You bought shoes on the road. But, no, when I went with my family.
When I went back to Asheville.
Well, I'm saying on the road.
Yeah, yeah.
You went to this little store.
I went to this little store.
Yeah, I never, like, go shoe shopping.
It's like getting a haircut while you're out of town.
It's very strict.
No, it's very like you're going shopping.
We had to show you that every city we went to.
Remember that?
Really?
It's insane.
His thing was like, if I go to an,
if we go to like the premium on haircut prices in New York
City was so crazy, I can go to a the premium on haircut prices in New York City was so
crazy I can go to a nice salon in these other cities.
I do stuff like that when we go out of town.
I'll just, I'll plan stuff, you know, like, I don't know.
Cause I just like, it's sometimes a pain in the ass to run errands.
Yeah.
Here's like, I gotta leave the house.
It's like, well, I'm already out of my whole town.
Yeah.
Why not go grocery shopping?
I'll just go do some, well, not maybe grocery shopping.
On tour.
I'll go start a new checking account at a local bank.
I'm gonna go see a doctor while I'm here.
But I do actually, I like getting,
I haven't done in a while,
but I used to like getting a, like a hot shave.
I used to do that.
Oh, hot shave.
Yeah, on the road.
That's kinda hot.
One day of the show, hot shave.
Oh, hot shave.
We've done group pedicures before too.
Yeah, yeah.
I like a massage on the road.
Yeah, yeah.
Love a good pedicure on the road.
A special massage, if you know what I'm saying.
Who you nudging?
I don't know.
What is crazy though, is that you go running in your jeans.
I don't go running in my jeans.
I don't know how else to interpret that.
But this is my pants.
Jeans and a sport coat.
This is my pants.
Yeah, jeans and a sport coat.
I mean, here's my question.
It's called a sport coat.
Yeah.
You don't have just like junk sneakers around
from old days of yore that-
I had, so I had my show shoes, which are those green Nikes that I wear for performances.
And then I had this pair of Reebok cross-strainers, Reebok or whatever.
They were like cross-fit shoes.
And those were my shoes for like yard work, working out, travel, all my like all purpose shoes.
And then my other ones.
So I threw those out.
Now I have my show shoes and I have these,
but they're both nice.
You need garbage shoes.
You can have them casual and they cost a couple bucks.
I don't want to ruin them.
You need garbage shoes.
You need garbage shoes.
That's what I said.
I said, I'll go buy a pair of $60 garbage shoes.
Yeah.
Wear them in the ground.
Yeah.
Wait, $60 garbage?
That's not garbage.
That's how much my nicest shoes cost.
That's more than my nice shoes cost.
Those are poor people's shoes, guys.
Oh, boy.
Oh.
Well, I guess we're poor people.
You're wearing the shoes.
We're all poor people here.
We're all poor.
Did you have them cobbled from a local cobbler?
Did little elves come in the night to make those shoes?
Some of my favorite sneakers are cheapo $20 shoes,
and I wear them all, especially in New York City,
because the ground is disgusting.
True.
Botulism. You get botulism on your shoes if you wear them in the house. Yeah, you don't wear them all, especially in New York City, because the ground is disgusting. True. Botulism.
You get botulism on your shoes
if you wear them in the house.
Yeah, you don't wear them in the house.
Nope, botulism is all over the streets of New York.
But I have these little sneakers I bought in Chinatown.
Say it more.
They're great.
Look into my eye.
Botulism.
What did you say?
You gotta try a pair of $20 sneakers.
That wouldn't be cut down.
What, do you go to Payless to buy sneakers?
Fuck out of here.
I go to Chinatown.
I go to Monster Eats. I buy a pair of $60 Nike's or Reeboks or something.
You know what you can do if you don't need to spend
hundreds of dollars on each pair of shoes?
You can have like two pairs of shoes.
So if you need to go coach T-ball,
you don't have to worry about it.
You wear two nice pairs of shoes
and then wear my Timbaland shoes.
So I had like my running shoes
and then I wore them for a couple years
and then I bought the same running shoes again
because I liked them and they were comfy.
And then those former, I didn't wear them until they died.
So those former ones, baseball, mowing the lawn, et cetera.
Because it really does get your shoes so filthy.
And then the new ones, I try to keep clean for as long
as I can.
But those ones that I got in Nashville that are my show shoes,
every time we get back from a show,
I take them out of the suitcase. I put the tissue paper back
in them. I put them back in the box and back in my closet.
Like museum pieces.
To try to keep them as nice as I can.
For a show where no one can see your face.
Yeah, right.
But I also use them for like, you know, when we go out.
VIP meet and greet too.
Yeah, VIP meet and greet. People are like, wow, those are nice shoes.
I like a nice pair of sneakers.
I have the show shoes.
Yeah.
Yeah, I guess I need a pair of $60 something.
New Balance, maybe?
New Balance, maybe?
Yeah, maybe, but whatever.
I have, I can't talk on that.
I have so many shoes.
Yeah, I don't relate.
New Balance for $70.
I love shoes.
When we travel for tour, I always
have three pairs of shoes.
Oh, yeah.
Here's a nice $90 pair that looks pretty cool.
It's too much, though. Too much. What do you wear? So when you went running, you went running When we travel for tour, I always have three pairs of shoes. Here's a nice $90 pair that looks pretty cool.
It's too much, though.
What do you wear...
So, when you went running,
you went running in your everyday shoes?
When did running come into the picture?
You said you run in your jeans.
He said he doesn't run anymore, he lifts.
Just lifts.
He lifts his jeans.
Lifts shoes.
But you used to run.
Yeah, I used to run.
I might get back into it. It's kind of a fool's game. He wore his Tim you used to run. No, I don't. I used to run. I might get back into it.
It's kind of a fool's game.
But you were like your everyday sneaker.
You wore Timberlands to run.
No, I wore my old beat up shoes that I just got rid of.
I would wear those to run, to do whatever.
But now I don't have those kind of shoes.
If I was going to run right now, I'd probably run in my dunks.
That's crazy.
But I would stay on very dry streets.
Yeah, but still going to destroy your dunks and not great for your feet either. Yeah, and your ankles. I know, they're not running shoes. Just don't run but it's still going to destroy your dunks. And not great for your feet either.
Yeah, and your ankles.
I know.
They're not running.
Just don't run.
Which is weird, because they're called dunks.
You're running on the court.
Woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof.
Running, but you can't do like this.
You school a lot of kids at the gym, are you?
I go down to the playground while the kids are at recess
and just show them a thing or two.
Ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha. Kobe. Anyways, if you've got a favorite pair of $60 shoes that are named brand Collin.
We'll be back right after this break.
This episode of the GCP is sponsored by someone so close to my heart, Naish, that I had to
bring them on the show with me to do it.
This is my former roommate, one of my best friends in the world, and my cousin, Michael
Stagliano from Story Games.
Michael, say hi to the Naish.
I'm actually a little emotional right now.
It's so good to see you, Joey.
Hello. Great to see you, Joey. Hello.
It's great to see you too.
I can't believe this, but Michael is the writer and creator of a brand new podcast that is
kind of like an audio book, but it is kind of like a podcast that is kind of a cross
media thing that is this world that you've created, this amazing fantasy world.
Tell us about it real quick and then I'm going to tell them about this podcast. Go.
Yeah, epic adventure fantasy saga.
Think Game of Thrones.
Think House of Dragon.
If you like Lord of the Rings, if you like Harry Potter,
this is my attempt at making the next one of those, guys.
It's that simple.
I think if you like those, you might dig this.
He sets the bar really, really high.
And I'm so proud of you, buddy.
I have started listening to it, Naish.
It is absolutely out of this world
I mean literally and figuratively it is beautifully written beautifully narrated it is the sound mixing is incredible the sound design the
Composing is all original and it's just it sucks you right in. It's really an awesome experience guys produced by story games
It is called the forgotten king
I highly recommend that you support my good
buddy, former roommate, cousin, Michael, by checking out his show, but also for yourself.
Do it for yourself. This journey is going to be worth it. And remember, Michael and Story Games
supported us here by sponsoring this episode. So give it a try. You can find The Forgotten King
wherever you get your podcasts. And if you want to look up more information on it, you can find it at
TFK
series
Dot-com Michael. Thank you so much for doing this. I love you, buddy. Love you too, buddy
Folks are back. I want to thank our sponsors foundry virtual table top and
Folks, we're back. I want to thank our sponsors, Foundry Virtual Tabletop
and Norse Foundry.
Still looking for a third, fourth, perhaps even fifth
sponsor because we only do one show in this very, very
expensive studio.
We got to do more shows here.
Well, we got to start renting out the space, too.
Speaking of Norse Foundry.
Got a podcast you want to do here?
Call it.
Call it.
It's very expensive. I just want to shout out Nor Call in. Call in. It's very expensive.
I just want to shout out Norse Foundry,
because obviously they're very awesome.
And our friend Eric at Norse Foundry
gave me a really nice set of dice a few years back
and said these are for Sir Will.
Oh.
Because they were.
I reminded him of Paladin dice.
It was a Rose quartz dice set.
I don't know what it looks like on camera,
but in the lighting in here, if I hold this up,
I can't see it.
It's like a green screen.
It vanishes.
It's like the exact color of the wall.
It looks awesome.
I didn't know you had those.
Those are beautiful.
I've seen those in person.
Do you roll those a lot?
No, no.
I roll the Joe dice all the time now for Brother Ramious.
Bring those out today.
Look, you got this pretty and pink one. I will. I had forgotten about it. I hadn't used it in a while. So yeah, I rolled a Joe Dice all the time now for Brother Ramious. Bring those out today? Look, you got this pretty in pink line.
I will, I will.
I had forgotten about it.
I hadn't used it in a while.
So yeah, I'll bust them out.
They're gorgeous.
Really pretty.
You guys like pink?
Pink is a color?
I was just watching pretty in pink three nights ago.
Love pink.
You like pink, yeah?
Yeah, it's good.
I used to love wear, when I had a real job,
I used to love wearing like a pink dress shirt.
Oh, I remember you in a pink dress shirt.
I think you said pink dress.
I'm wearing a pink dress.
I'm wearing like a real bright pink dress. Pink dress. I'm wearing a pink dress. I'm wearing a real bright pink dress.
I'm feeling sassy.
We got those new hot pink glass cannon hats.
If there's any left after 10.
Oh, so good.
Those are great.
I love a pink polo, pink golf shirt.
Oh, yeah.
Looks so good on a summer day.
I don't do pink.
No.
No, you're not a pink person.
You're not very pink.
I have a hard time with pinks and reds because I worry that in my skin tone,
it brings out like flushes on my face.
Brings out your rosacea?
No, yeah, like, you know, if you drink,
you know, you get a little flush.
Yes, you just look like a drunk.
Yeah, all the time.
Like, and if someone embarrasses me
or I get embarrassed very easily on the train,
if I'm wearing like a red shirt,
oh God, I'm gonna look like a tomato.
So I don't know.
It's like a mental thing though,
because I don't think that's entirely true.
But it's a thing people say.
They're like, oh, can't wear pink, can't wear red.
And Gothi Gabrielle over here
probably doesn't wear pink either.
Sometimes splashes of pink,
but I don't like wearing warm colors like red and orange.
It like stresses me out.
And then like, I don't look good in yellow and green
because of the olive undertones.
It just like makes me look sickly and weird.
Yeah, skin color.
It's a thing.
Why do you wear?
I don't know what to wear to look good.
You wear black and purple lipstick?
I look really good in black.
Black lipstick though?
And also, yeah.
What about black rouge on your cheeks?
What?
You don't know what rouge is?
You said you can't wear.
You said you can't wear.
Are you talking about eye black?
You said you can't wear red.
Red makeup?
Yeah, red makeup you can wear.
I look fantastic in.
I just don't like wearing red clothes,
because it makes me feel crazy.
Because it's such a bright, too loud, and aggressive color.
I don't know.
It would make others angry to look at you.
I don't like wearing yellow and red.
It makes me feel bad.
Yeah.
Yellow is not a good color.
Well, you have all of it, too.
Yellow is a great color.
I do. Yellow is a great color. He says.
Yellow is a great color.
With wearing a yellow,
yellow on your hat and yellow on your jam screen.
All over your jam screen.
Oh, I love yellow and green.
It does not love me.
I do like lemon and lime,
but yellow to wear, too much yellow.
This is more of a beige.
Yeah, I guess it's a mustard.
Maybe a camphor.
I was gonna say golden brown mustard.
Mustard.
Yeah.
Golden brown mustard.
We need to do the TikTok video.
We all need to learn our colors.
If you guys have ever seen this,
there's like a colorist and they stand behind you
and they put all these different colored napkins
across your chest so that your skin is like reflected
with the color that you wear.
And then they pull the napkins off
and then they tell you like why this is a bad color for you.
They're like, you're an autumn.
Yeah, and then they pull it off in the sun. It's like a reflective silver. And they're like, ooh, see that washes you out. And then they tell you why this is a bad color for you. They're like, you're an autumn. Yeah, and then they pull it off in the middle of the sun.
It's like a reflective silver,
and they're like, ooh, see, that washes you out.
And then they pull it, it's like a gold,
and they're like, now that's your color.
Ah, I need somebody.
They do it really fast.
We'll do it.
I'll buy a bunch of napkins, and we'll do it.
Provolone.
Provolone.
You've got cheater.
They just put pieces of cheese on your chest.
You're more of a monster today.
Yeah.
You gotta eat this one now.
You gotta eat this one now.
I just came from the fruit juice.
You're more of a monster.
So they walk in the door, they're like, oh, hold on.
They open the fridge.
The guy at the deli.
Deli slicer.
They're putting prosciutto on you, just like salami.
Just a tray.
Oh, that's sharp.
That's really sharp on you.
This is your color.
Well, you're going to need some mustard on the hot dog that
is this ep today.
For real, what on earth is going on?
Explain yourself.
What's happening?
Be honest.
How many people thought she'd be like, got it working.
Goodbye.
We're going to go to Wyrmney's today
and finish the adventure.
Be honest.
I thought we were going to Galarian.
Honestly, no.
I thought we were going to Galarian,
and I thought we were going to get there in something terrible.
I thought we were walking into immediate danger in Galarian.
I assumed it would be another bad gate travel.
We would think we're going to the crown.
So you assumed we were not going to land on Galarian?
No, no, no.
I assumed we'd land on Galarian, but not at Skywatch, not where we're supposed to land.
It would be like, no, we're in the middle of nowhere.
I don't know.
It would just be messed up.
I didn't see that coming, but I don't know anything.
I thought we were going to walk through the gate, and we didn't even do that.
No, we didn't get that far.
And Matthew, you...
Galarian but like terrible,
in the middle of something terrible,
like Skywatch had been devastated
or the people were all gone or some sort of twist.
Black Cross Whale was there immediately.
Okay, fun, fun, good, then I did my job.
Because that doesn't seem to be what's happening here.
After a brutal two-episode battle with this jungle drake, Granthromax.
Whatever his name is.
Janthromax.
Janthromax.
Jungle Janthromax.
Janthromax.
You heal up as best you can.
Luckily, none of the sages die.
Obviously, not to play favorites here, but a Lely survived. Lily survived that's who you really need the Lily was the one that could
conduct this but no one died she's the MVP some more a little worse for the
where but you were able to heal everybody up you're a little depleted on
resources but you're healed to fall no one's wounded you're ready to walk
through the gate they set up the telescope on top tie it with this
enchanted copper wire they ask Zephyr to help hang the shade with her key from the top of the arch.
Lele then begins chanting, closes her eyes, places her hands on the telescope, which hangs
from the top all the way down like you could look up from there into the stars.
As she chants, this golden light cascades down the Ayodhara, electrifies
the key. That energy then goes into the telescope. Boom! Can you picture it? This beam of light
going straight to Galerion, you assume?
So cool.
Yeah.
She's like, it's working, it's working. But right as she says that, all of a sudden that
boom! This discordant hum erupts from the very nice sounding hum that was
going to send you home and the light begins refracting into space in all different directions.
She says no, no, no, the iodara is broken loose and she's frantically trying to work at the
telescope. She says it's searching for a new connection. It's trying to take the entire clearing with it. As you stand
there, the only thing that stays in place is this sort of archway that you're standing
on, this stone structure. Everything around you begins to flicker in and out of existence.
You saw like dragons marching through the snow. You were in a starry void with angels flying through the sky.
All sorts of weird alien shit going around you.
Cotton candy clouds too quickly to even sort of categorize what's happening.
And she says, hold on, we won't have another chance at this.
That's where we pick up.
And she says she's working on the telescope. She's adjusting something and all of a sudden
The flickering landscape around you locks into place. I refer you to the map
I don't like going. Oh, no
Whoa, like hell. Whoa, what are we on? Akitan? What the fuck?
Oh my god, is this a river of lava?
Cold red desert appears all around,
broken up by delicate rock columns and high canyon walls.
The gateway ruins that you stand upon
now stand in the mouth of one of these canyons
at the bottom of which lies a strange contraption,
almost looks like an insect with huge canvas wings.
Like an early Wright Brothers experiment in a way,
which you would know, but the players would.
Thank you for that clarification.
About 40 feet away to the south,
a little rat folk looks up at you
It's hacky time with a wide brimmed hat
staring at you from the back of a giant blue lizard
Oh, it's a Jubaq
He sees you rears his mount up and shrieks
This is my salvage you two tall sand sucking Juba's
Oh no
Roll for initiative
My heel spell so cool. I wish we rested. I wish we went to bed. I took a nap. Oh
Right. Yeah, I mean I don't I don't have a lot of
Continues oh boy. Oh, no, are you guys are, I don't. I don't have a lot of spell slots. I don't have any continuous. Oh, boy.
Oh, no, are you guys, are you kidding me?
Shut up, Sydney.
Yes.
Guys, I need to bring some sage into the studio.
Like something is happening.
We need a ritual.
I mean, it makes sense though.
I just rolled a two.
We just landed on a different planet.
I'm gonna kill myself.
There's a rat folk in front of us.
I don't think any of us have ever seen a rat folk.
It might be a little.
Can we just get one, two, three.
Natural one.
One, one, two.
My Rose Quartz was an Addy 15.
Okay. Okay.
All right, Bragg.
Thanks, Norse Foundry.
Bragg.
Yeah, Norse Foundry.
Oh, you went with Rose Quartz, nice.
I went Rose Quartz and I got an Addy 15.
That was nice.
All right, what'd you get there, Barnsy?
That would be an eight.
Eight for Barns.
Buggles. 24. 24 for eight. Eight for barns.
Bugles.
24.
24 for bugles, very good.
Asta.
Seven, I think Asta throws up.
Zephyr.
Eight.
Oh my goodness.
Natural one.
Ramious.
24.
Okay, all right.
Wow, what a huge difference.
Two 24s, two eights, and a 7. I have put this rat folk creature, perhaps you would know it as a Yosoke. It's not exactly correct.
Wow. Imagine it with like a big wide brimmed hat, obviously, but it does have that crossbow. You do see little tinctures all along its melt. So
Very mad max. Yeah. Yeah, and then this is the lizard that it's riding Oh, it's like a gecko like a giant gecko. Yeah
I mean, it's just a little rat right little rat right in the gecko round one
It is Buggles or Ramious's turn you guys can decide who goes I would like to try to go first
I have a I have an idea here
All right
Joe doesn't like it. I don't like it
Huh talk to it
I will say a lele as you sort of is your idea going to be to attack it no okay
Then you can go yep as you lock into place here a lele is like please
Please just keep them away from the telescope and the Ayudara.
I will try to fix this.
Buggles.
Alright, Buggles steps up to the edge of the plinth here,
and he says,
Away, put your weapons.
We mean you no harm.
And he's going to cast charm on the rat folk.
Charm on the rat folk.
Yeah, it was basically gonna do the same exact.
Okay, give me a, what do I roll?
That is a will save.
Okay, that is a 13.
Wow.
That was a fail. Yeah. Yes. Okay, that is a 13. Wow! That's a fail! Yes! Okay, talk to me about charm as I look it up at the exact same time.
The target's attitude becomes friendly towards me. It is and it cannot use hostile actions against me.
Against you, so Buggles has somehow charmed us. Do you say anything or is it just pure magic
and now it doesn't look at you as an enemy?
Yeah, and I was just like,
and now I say I'll do that, like yeah,
put your weapons away, we mean you no harm.
All right, maybe the rat says the little one,
he is friend, leave him be, the others mean us harm.
Anything else?
Well, if you're gonna do that, then yeah.
It's just meant to be charmed against you, not everybody.
So do you wanna move over there?
Two creatures here?
There's two, yeah.
Are you seeing two?
Yeah, I thought he was riding one.
He is, I didn't put the pawn on top of him.
The other one, okay.
Are they talking back and forth to each other
or he's just talking to them?
He's talking to the gecko. Is the gecko talking back to him? I mean, if he is, you can't really see. Okay, what are they talking back and forth to each other or he's just talking he's talking to the gecko
Is the gecko talking back to him? I mean if it is you can't really see okay, okay?
I thought you were having a conversation for a second. Yeah, he speaks to the gecko the gecko did not speak back got it
Okay, do you want to move it all bugs? Uh?
No, I well if I have yeah with my last act. I'll say like
These people are my friends. They are your friends
We only wish to talk, please.
All right, give me a diplomacy check.
Diplomacy.
Diplomacy.
Little bit of deception, little bit of diplomacy,
a diplomacy.
A diplomacy.
15.
15, yeah, he doesn't, he feels pretty good about you,
but something about them does not sit
well with him.
Ramius you see this in his eyes and you get to act.
He's not even going to say anything just going off of Buggles words saying we mean you no
harm which he agrees with completely and we don't know what this place is and this could
be a simple misunderstanding. He's just going to pray for Gruhasta's guidance and communion in this moment and I'm going
to cast Calm on the creature.
So he just closes his eyes and wafts his hand out.
He's got his crossbow armed in the other hand just in case.
He's going to waft out a hand and cast Calm.
So that is a will save.
Okay, a will save against the
Yasoki. All right, that one was a pretty good roll. It's gonna be a 27.
Okay, that is a success. He'll take a minus one status penalty to any attack rolls
As long as I sustain the spell. So he winces at that. You have one more action. And he will move back behind Barnes. Barnes, I'm holding him back but I don't know how
long I can do it for. Something is not right here. No, no you just appeared out of thin air.
You were sent to take this. And he first action jumps off of the lizard, moves forward about 10 feet,
and goes to throw a bomb at Asta.
All right.
So this is going to be a grenade in your face.
Misses with a 16.
Oh yeah.
All right, so you will just take splash damage
because it wasn't a critical failure.
You take two points of splash damage. So even on a failure, you take two points of splash damage. Nobody else takes splash damage because it wasn't a critical failure. You take two points of splash damage.
So even on a fail, you take two points of splash damage.
Nobody else takes splash damage.
Critical failure. You wouldn't take any splash damage.
So its first action throws, goes wild.
You take two points of damage.
Next grenade comes at Barnes misses Barnes.
That might be I got to make sure that's not 13.
Regular miss. OK, so you take two points of splash damage. And then that's not 13 regular miss okay so you take two points
of splash damage and then that's its turn and then the gecko just scrambles
up the path towards Barnes make sure I have the movement there by the way he
has a negative one as well it's a ten foot area oh it's both I didn't roll a
will say for them I'm sorry yes roll it will say for the lizard That is a 14. Oh, that's a fail so we can't take hostile actions against us apologies
I thought they were on the same square and one creature for all intents and purposes Carla Carla
What are you doing? He looks at the lizard and the lizard is just
Staring at you and does not take a day all right Alright, so the rat folks feel very confused here.
Buggles has charmed it in a way so that it sees Buggle perhaps as a friend.
You went to cast Calm, failed, but you did subdue the lizard, and now it's Barnes's
turn.
Bums have come your way.
Yeah, I was going to go after the lizard, but now...
Okay, try to restrain it, Bums.
Try to restrain it. Okayones. Try to restrain it.
Okay, that's a good idea.
Okay, so Barnes is going to walk up to the Ahsoka
and I'm going to attempt to grapple.
Okay.
Athletics against you.
Me and you, no.
Me and you, no.
Oh shit.
He's gonna shove his face in the sand.
I'll kill you.
Athletics against you, 42 DC.
Okay, 25.
You grapple.
Yeah!
Yes!
This is good, grab this.
We're not here for your thing!
Just calm down!
Let me go, you're going to steal it!
Okay, now that I have you grapple,
that was two actions.
Can I spend another action to,
is there a two-wee version of pin?
Yeah, restrain.
Restrain, yeah.
I feel like you can't do that on the same turn is that right?
Look up the grapple action. I believe it says like if you are already
Grappled you can then do it or something. I'm not sure
There's grapple grapple is one action if you critically
You can grapple target you have all already have grabbed araint without having a hand free. Where's Restraint?
Okay.
You have it?
No.
You basically can try again for the crit success, and while it's grappled, I believe that...
Let's see if that affects its Fortitude save.
Because then it would be worth...
To Restraint it, you would have to roll
a critical success on that grapple.
Yeah.
Okay.
Got it.
It does not affect its fortitude.
All right, so then let me see.
So wait, you could attempt again,
but it would take the map.
You take the map and I have to crit, so.
Yeah, so that's what it is.
You can attempt again, it would take the map,
but you have to crit.
Like you're trying next turn.
Or you could just try now. You just need to roll a natural 20, you're not gonna do anything else. You can attempt again, it would take the map, but you have to crit. I could try next turn. You could just try now.
You just need to roll a natural 20,
you're not gonna do anything else.
You're basically just trying to.
No, I'm wondering if I wanna.
But if he critically fails, then he's free.
Exactly.
And I also think maybe I can disarm him.
Do I have a hand free if I'm grabbing someone or no?
Not if you already have, yes,
you have to have a free hand
to initiate the grapple.
I can walk up to the side.
You don't have to have.
Okay.
All right, so then, third action,
I will exploit vulnerability.
Okay.
So we have that available to us.
Yeah, there we go.
So you're looking up close.
Yeah, like, what is this guy?
Natural one.
Oh, no, come on.
So I don't know anything.
Some kind of pig creature.
Some sort of pig.
Zephyr.
Zephyr was just gonna walk right up
and punch the crap out of the face.
I'm flat-footed, or I'm off guard
until the beginning of my next turn.
Oh, right.
Oh, from that crit fail.
Yeah.
So she was gonna just walk up and punch it in the face,
but now that it's grappled,
she's gonna walk up and disarm it,
take its weapons away
Take bombs away. Okay, nice
Okay, uh
Disarm check. Yeah, so um
Disarm is just for something that's in its hand athletics check against the targets reflex DC
Yeah, it does have a crossbow in its hand. Oh, it does. Yeah, great. So let's go for the crossbow then
nope Critical failure I lose my balance and become off guard Oh it does. Yeah. Great. So let's go for the crossbow then. Nope
Critical failure. I lose my balance and become off guard.
Yes, yes it was. Like it was a natural one? Yeah. Why didn't you just say that?
She did. She did.
Why do you want to make her say it out loud? Same thing.
It's fun to say natural one out loud and everybody at home cheers. Is it fun? Everybody at home cheers.
I think everyone at home is cheering for her rolling a natural one. I'm just saying they're like
Roll another natural one. Okay. All right, so you lose your balance and become off guard till study next year
I'll have to try to take it and I just followed
Alright so you slow one action left you moved up try to do a disarm
Um, I became off guard.
I lost my balance, so I guess,
spend an action to regain my balance.
Yeah, can you do that?
You should be able to do that, but I don't think you can.
Yeah, that's what happens.
Or if I can.
I think you're just off guard,
so you can do whatever you want.
I mean, if I-
I like the idea of regaining balance, but.
If I can't do that, then I'll just try to disarm it again.
Can I do that?
Why not? Yeah. Why not?arm it again. I do that. Yeah
Why not takes the map right? Yeah, which already critically fell and what's worse could it get right?
You can't get more off guard double off guard. I
Don't
Yeah, it's like if I minus five
Wow 16 okay minus five, uh. Wow. 16.
Okay.
Uh, against this reflex DC.
Sorry, so it's not a critical failure,
but you are just standing there,
whoa, whoa, uncertain on this strange world.
Asta.
Asta doesn't know what to do.
Let me go!
Help me restrain him.
Okay.
Yeah, Asta looks at the salamander.
Salamander's not doing anything.
No, it's just sitting there.
She says, hi.
Okay, bye.
And she's just gonna run down to Barnes.
That's her first action movement.
And she is going to,
I guess with her katana,
just do like a pummel strike instead of slicing. She's just gonna try to like
Hit him on the head. Should I knock him out? Knock him out? Like non-lethal damage? Yeah
But two-handed still boom
Let's see just a regular old hit. Let me look up non-lethal attacks here. Yeah, you take a penalty
Yeah, unless the weapon has the non-lethal tree. It definitely doesn't it's deadly
All right, so minus two circumstance penalties to the attack to treat you're trying to knock him out. Yeah, okay
Could you all you guys help me tie him up? Okay? Yeah, I guess I'll just I could do that
We don't have any rope. I mean I have rope
You didn't pull that off your character don't have any more we didn't buy more rope with the sheet? Don't have any more rope. We didn't buy more rope with the elves.
We wouldn't have bought more rope.
I remember a rope buying session.
I don't remember you saying that.
Did you talk to the rope maker?
Cause I hear he's a pretty cool guy.
It seems like common sense that we would replenish
our supplies.
It does, I wonder why we didn't do it.
Well, we're all so good at common sense.
One of the folks that Barnes was carrying on with
was the rope maker.
And he just assumed.
He just assumed.
Johnny Ropes was part of that conversation.
He was hoping that maybe Johnny would extend him.
Get some free ropes.
A gratis rope.
Comes out of the tent and is like,
sorry, she's a little tied up right now.
You use the ropes.
Quick flashback to that party night.
So tell me about your world.
You got a lot of rope makers where you come from?
Rope making in every town, my friend.
Really?
Yes.
Are you the only one on the entire planet?
Only one in town.
I get all the sweet rope money.
Tell me something.
Yeah.
Does that inspire you to rope greatness
or do you just coast by on a basic
rope strategy?
Where you going with this?
That's the question.
I want to get in my pants. Just say so.
I want to be in your pants so much. But I want to know how much rope is going to come with us.
Well, come to my tent and I'll show you a rope you can climb for weeks on end.
and I'll show you a rope you can climb for weeks on end. MARISHA and SAM and MARISHA laugh
Flashbacks of the moment.
Let's just say all of a sudden Barnes has 50 feet of rope
hanging from his back.
Just looking off to the side.
You don't want to know how I got here.
Yeah, Osta looks.
Where could you have possibly gotten that much rope?
He had a lot of rope.
Barnes gets a far away look.
He's struggling with his show.
He gets this far away look in his eye.
And then he just smiles.
Okay, and Asta slowly pulls the rope out of your hand.
All right, it's weird being weird.
And she's going to use her second action,
then movement first, second action tying up.
Second action, remove the rope.
Third action, begin tying him.
Okay, I'm gonna say that this thing is restrained and we've got 18 people around here
and I'm not gonna hold you over the coals here.
You're able to tie him up with ease.
Dark pile.
And I'm begging the three mister.
Hold on, please, please stop fighting.
All right, so you tie him up,
you effectively get out of combat.
And we feed the salamander.
Oh yeah, and we pet the salamander. What do you feed him? We're the salamander. Oh yeah, we pet the salamander.
What do you feed him?
What are the salamanders?
Bugs. Bugs.
Oh, bugs.
They love bugs.
Bugs.
Muggles.
All right, you tie him up,
you go to feed the salamander,
and Lele yells, wait, wait, wait, it's changing again!
And all of a sudden, everything changes.
What the hell?
The lizard and the-
My rope!
The-
Oh.
No, we're not gonna get that rope!
Hello, we must go back!
We must go back!
That rope has set a bit of value!
Ah!
Turn the gate around!
How am I supposed to remember your people? Oh my god. a good cap. That'll bring you good luck. Good cap. Vicky. Oh, it's a Vicky cap? Oh, that's a good cap. That'll bring you good luck.
Good cap.
Vicky Reachy.
Vicky Reachy.
Vicky Reachy.
You all of a sudden are transported to another place
and time question mark.
Clouds of roiling yellow green mist
rush over this pink desert,
not unlike our walls behind us.
The sandy ground falls away from before
and it's replaced with these spongy flesh-like hills
covered in oozing blisters,
dotted with pools of black goo
and groves of what look like hair follicles.
Ew, is that what that is?
This is skin.
This looks like skin.
Oh!
It looks like you're standing on living skin.
Oh! Osta jumps back. Osta jumps back to the platform. You don't do anything. Oh, it looks like you're standing on living skin
Anything from the peak of a nearby ridge like a huge vein an eyeless black winged shape takes flight
The way shout out to foundry VTT on that background audio.
Like it just, the world just changed too.
Like here.
The way I said, it looked like it flickered back to
Castroville.
Yeah, to the Castroville.
Before I get initiative, I'm going to reveal the creature
that comes swooping up towards you.
Some of you may recognize something as awful as this.
Oh, I know what this is.
What is that?
What is it?
It's a night gaunt, right?
Oh.
Where'd we fight this?
We fought it in
a strange aeons, and it nearly killed Mrs. O'Lady.
What the thing that lifted you up?
And it was one of Angeline's amazing posters.
Oh yeah, that's right.
That was the car ride where Sir Julie was created.
That's right, in like a back of a lift.
Cause she died.
It's relatively low.
DC or what?
It was in DC, yeah.
Oh wait, did she die?
It was in DC.
She didn't die there.
No, she survived.
Cause I rolled a natural 20.
That's right, but you rolled a natural 20.
I got him down with a bone crusher.
All right.
Well, let's see who survives this time around.
I think you're right around the same level here.
What'd you get, Zephyr?
Natural 20.
Natural 20 for a total.
There you go, Zephyr.
27. 27, enormous.
Brother Ramius.
18. 18 for Ramius, not as amazing.
Asta. 17.
17 for Asta, Bugles.
19.
19 for Bugles.
And finally, the Omicus Bonds.
25.
25 for Barnes.
First things first, the atmosphere here,
these roiling yellow mists that are coming around,
this is not atmosphere that is comfortable to breathe.
Everyone roll a...
Fortitude?
Let me make sure, fortitude save.
As this air gets into your lungs.
Oh man, I don't know what the DCs are around here.
I know.
What are the DCs on this skin plan?
Ask someone.
The plane of flesh.
You there, boy, what are the DCs here?
Why, today's Christmas morning.
This is the elemental plane of skin, sir.
Ah!
I didn't miss it.
I didn't miss it.
Oh, sorry.
It's Saint Skin's Day.
Go to the skin store and get me the biggest skin you can find.
Throw money at him.
You mean the one who's biggest money, sir.
Bigger.
What did everyone roll for fortitude,
starting with Ramius?
20.
Oh, you're fine in comparison to my 14.
It's a tweener.
I think it's a fail.
12.
Oh, no.
That might be critical.
Bring it back up.
18. 18?
And Crescendo with another 20. Oh. no. That might be critical. Bring it back up. 18. 18.
And, crescendo with another 20.
Oh!
We get full circle.
Zephyr and Barnes are clumsy one.
All right.
So 26 is a success.
And an 18 was a success.
This is a normal world.
Skin world's normal.
Yeah, this is, the skin world is normal.
I like the skin plane.
Yeah, we should stay here.
Yeah, the plane of skin is great.
Yes, as these, you are non-native creatures
to wherever you are.
I feel the summer home here. Breathing this in is making you Yes, as these, you are non-native creatures to wherever you are. Build a summer home here.
Breathing this in is making you like,
whoa, whoa.
I'm gonna vomit.
Little bit shaky.
I hope the elemental plane of shirts is next up.
Round one.
It is the eyeless awfulness turn.
Roll to 29.
29.
29. It's a beast. It's a beast. All right, let's see who's closest to 29. 29. 29. It's a beast. It's a beast. All right let's see who's closest to it.
Why it looks like Brother Ramius. Oh no! Hiding there underneath. It came in from
the side. Yeah. It came in through the bathroom window. It is going to. I noticed on the
tracker you have it as eyeless awfulness All right, it is going to swoop towards Ramious
And it is going to attempt to do a claw attack on Ramious
He doesn't get attacked often. It's gonna be a 24 to hit not a crit
You're gonna take not too bad 11 points of slashing damage, then it's going to attempt to grab you.
Oh boy.
So, athletics check against your fort DC.
Yep.
Natural 20.
You are restrained by this creature.
Oh my god.
Enjoy the play in the flesh, brother Amius.
In its arms.
AHHHHHHHHH!
And not to-
Help me!
Oh my god.
This is-
Fuck!
I'm starting to realize the implications of how bad this is
Not unlike mrs. O lady not not to spoil you start to feel it begin. Oh, no, no, no
No, no, and that's the end of its turn. It is now
Zephyr is true. Zephyr runs up
to the beasts
Flurry of blows with her fisty fists.
Okay, so you run right up to it as it's holding
Remus restrained in its arms.
Clumsily running up.
It's a 16 for the first one.
Miss.
It's a 19 for the second one.
What?
All right.
So she goes to punch at it, punches air.
And with, she, I try to grab it so it doesn't fly up.
Oh, okay, you guys getting a little grabby.
I'm grabbing.
All right.
So give me a athletics check with the map
against its Fort Dick. So when you're doing athletics check with the map against its Fort dick
So when you're doing athletics checks with the map that mean I just minus 10 minus 5 well
I just you missed you did two attacks. It's a little story. Yeah, my son, okay
They might not want to do it cuz it may yeah, it's just not nothing's gonna
We may crit fail and be a long garden, but a fail could be a
Crit fail I like become off balanced I guess.
Yeah but that has nothing to do with the map.
Oh no yeah I guess it would. Yeah, yeah I'm sorry.
Well let's see, action? I'm trying to grapple here?
No you don't want to do it, you're right. Your crit threat range, your crit fail range is way way way higher now.
You could critical fail on a 10.
Yeah. Yeah so yeah definitely don't. I. I thought it was just a natural one I guess
Crap, I guess I just step back away cuz I'm gonna start if it lifts off the ground
I'm gonna take out my bow in my the next turn and start shooting with that so she stepped back again 35 feet away
Zephyr don't leave me!
I'm not leaving you. I'm just getting ready for when you take off
You go to step away, and it takes an attack of opportunity
with its tail against you.
Oh no.
So let's see what happens here.
Cool, cool, cool, cool.
Played so many of these frigging Nikons
or prepped a lot of them.
I think I prepped more than I played.
Strike against the triggering creature
with the tail that is gonna be a 22 against your AC.
That hits.
All right, so here's the good news.
You can move with these.
What?
It needed to be a critical hit for it to, for bad things to happen.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, that's the way I'm reading it.
Okay, so the tail whips around, just grazes against your back and your rib.
I tell people be careful if you get close to it.
As you run away.
You're gonna run away.
It wasn't like trying to,
it almost felt like it wasn't trying to hurt you,
like it was coming towards you and like doing this to you.
It's worse.
How was the world?
Much worse.
I hate this skin world.
Barnes.
Okay, wish I had my rope right about now.
And Barnes will rush up onto the plinth
and he will wrap his arms around brother Ramius's waist.
And just pull.
Oh, he's gonna grapple, right?
I'm gonna grab Ramius.
Wow. Okay.
Do you need me to roll for that?
I hate this so much.
Yeah, I mean.
He's willing.
He's a willing partner here.
Are you willing?
He's not in full control of the circumstance.
Yeah, so I'm gonna say,
Maybe roll out a bonus or something.
I have to rule this.
Or, roll an athletics check.
In a way, you're trying to hold on as well,
so you're not trying to grab the creature.
Yeah.
I mean, do you want me to do a,
I mean, so are you giving me the grab for free
You're trying to you're trying to test my strength. I'm really just buying time and hoping you're real shitty
Brother radius is restrained right now. It's grappled and restrained you're trying to grab
In a way, I feel like you can't grab Ramies. He's restrained. So that doesn't affect me
That doesn't affect you. yeah. It affects your target.
Like, you might not be able to-
If he's completely wrapped in the folds of the creature,
there's nothing to-
Are you comp-
I- I just imagine this thing grabs you with its legs or hands or feet.
I- I imagine he's like,
RRRRRRRR, like all wrapped up in its wings and crazily restrained.
And I'm just going,
HWAH, around you.
I mean, maybe you can grab his-
Make you heavier.
Yeah.
Yeah, so what I'm reading here for restraint strength check if you are immobilized by something holding you in place and an external force
Would move you out of that space the force must succeed a check it either the DC of the effect holding you in place
Or the relevant defense usually 42 DC of the monster holding you in perfect. Where is that?
It's it's under the lesson. It's under the text of immobilized
Cool, so I think that you should be able to grab him. So you move up first action second action
I think you can grab him. You're just holding on to him
But like now you've got to pull him away. Can I here's what he's about. Can I do for all three actions?
Pull him away. Can I here's what he's about. Can I do for all three actions?
Maybe I just want to tackle him against the the DC of the the address try to pull him away We could do that too. It might be able to achieve the same thing
You're still gonna there's still gonna be this role here
And I'm gonna give you the the worst of I have the DC of the effect or the fortitude DC of the creature
What is it? Well the DC of the effect? I'm gonna do the right to DC of the creature. I got it
No map because it's a nice check. No map, cause you didn't do anything else.
Is this athletics check?
Yeah, it would be athletics against forties.
14.
Okay.
Yeah, I mean, it's cool.
And it seems like we're doing it
as close to the book as you can possibly.
You grab it and you're trying to pull it away,
but it's just stronger.
And it does have him immobilize there.
Cool idea though.
All right, so three actions. That's it. Cool.
Buggles! All this music!
Buggles is, and he's so confused like this is, it's like someone's like changing the channels on the TV
like with Abandon. He's just like, no, no Rabius! And he puts his fingers to his forehead, boom, and
frostbite. Give me a fortitude
What if you'd save 20? Okay, that is a regular success
So you take three points of frost damage of cold damage cold damage
All right, so you see that it is not affected by that might be immune might have it a resistance to cold. Okay
Ramious you feel this like ice come around
And it is your turn Ramious last
That sucks for me because like I can only
Possibly do damage every other turn. Yeah. Yeah, it sucks. I have a feeling, I'm hoping,
that we just have to kind of outlast it
until we flicker into a new place.
Yeah, and all I keep picturing
is Brother Ramius just left behind.
Like my rope.
Yeah, he's like pulled away from the effects.
Yeah.
And like, we're gone.
That's why I'm just like here.
Do you imagine a more horrifying end?
It's like, why did they leave me on Mars?
Everyone leaves you on a
Plane made of flesh yeah, and then this thing just sets you down and starts to pull you apart I
Really need a natural well. Let's all let's all work hard to make sure that doesn't happen. Okay. You start to feel lighter
What do you do?
He's going to attempt a natural 20. Here we go. Rose Quartz.
Eric.
Ah!
Damn it.
Went in the side.
Here we go.
Got side pocket twice!
That is impossible!
Do it again, it's a natural 20.
Yep.
No.
What'd you get?
13.
There's differing degrees of success.
That's important
because that is a critical fail. Oh my god. So critical fail for escape. You
don't get free and you can't attempt to escape again till your next turn. Okay.
Okay. It felt like he tried three times. I can't do anything. Yeah I know.
I know. Because you're restrained. So fight his little finger.
Role play for me.
What do you... you feel helpless here?
Yeah.
Did anything go through your head?
No.
No.
Just role play.
Just role play.
I'm yelling at everybody.
I think the calm emotion spells being bound to the view.
Help me suffer.
And he can feel he's like being lifted up and his eyes get panicky and yeah, it's looking
like the end here Asta
The restrained part is what's really brutal like at least with yeah, like even if he had me grabbed
I could heal myself, but I can't even do that Asta is going to run up behind
Up the steps to where the creature is and I'm just gonna try to do a spell strike
And do the most damage possible on this creature. Yeah, you'll get it
and do the most damage possible on this creature. Yeah, you'll get it.
You said it so confidently.
Why are you laughing?
I'm confident.
I never know if he was like,
Oh, he's being nice.
Yeah, you'll get it.
All right, now I don't know.
You're a hero.
Here I go, I'm a hero.
At least you're all natural.
I didn't, and that's gonna be a 25.
That's a hit.
There we go.
There we go.
Here we go, here we go. Again we go. Here we go. Here we go.
Here we go.
Again.
What's my weakness?
Nightgods!
Shabapa!
Nightgods!
Six damage.
Six damage.
Six damage.
Six what kind of damage?
Slashing with a katana.
And then...
Slashing with a katana.
Are you clumsy?
No.
And then...
This is gonna be Gouging Claw.
I'm trying to give you that sweep bleed.
Oh my God.
15 points of slashing. Wow.
And then three points persistent bleed.
Three points. Oh my gosh.
You must want to drop me
and turn all of its attention on you.
Yeah, and it's like, it's like when she-
That's the only thing I could imagine her doing
in this moment. When she does
the slashing gush, she slices through it with the katana
so the creature feels the pain of getting sliced
and then the gouging claw comes after it.
So it's like, phoom phoom phoom,
like another three happen spaced out after the katana hits,
which is probably so scary that it drops, brother.
Does it bleed blood?
It does bleed.
This sort of like yellow pus comes out of it.
This is the most gross.
I don't think we need to know anymore.
Ray needs to just feel this hot, wet liquid come over.
It goes in your mouth.
It starts to go down your pants.
No more world building up this world.
Lauren's curious.
Hate this world.
Lauren's just curious and licks it off your pants.
All right, well, it's the poisonous atmospheres turn everybody roll another fortitude save
Same for me, too. Come on. Oh Ryan stink-ass die
the rose quartz that
Yeah, now I remember why you never roll that.
Look at that beautiful piece of trash.
It is beautiful.
What did you roll there?
Remus.
14.
14.
You're a clumsy one.
14.
You remain clumsy one.
12 again.
Clumsy one.
18 again.
18. You are unaffected. 11. 11. You are clumsy 12 again clumsy one 18 again 18
You are unaffected
11 11 you are clumsy one
So everybody but Asta is clumsy and man is that good for you because at least you can stay in
The fight I do but will ramius because it is now the eyeless awfulness is turned
And it just took what 20 plus 21 points of damage from Austin. 21 points of damage and it's time to fly right after this quick break.
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We're back.
I'm excited about this.
You got a night gaunt.
You got to have them fly.
Dude, I'm so mad.
It's so funny to think back to the original Nightgaunt and how Mr.
Lady was in that situation and fast forward some five years
later. And now here I am. It was five years ago. Yeah, it was
pre COVID.
That's pretty cool. Yeah.
Wild. First action. It keeps your restraint. Second action, it flies up 15 feet of the terrain.
So it lifts you in the air, 15 feet.
And then its little tail comes around,
finds like a little place near your thigh.
No, no, no, no, no, don't do that.
Starts to tickle you.
No.
No.
No, no, no.
Why?
I remember this.
Why?
Give me a fortitude save.
And not laugh to stifle your giggles?
No, no, no, no, no!
Shit ass.
She's a trash?
Unbelievable, the garbage that comes out
of every single roll.
She's trash, trash, trash.
11.
11.
Oh no.
Critical failure.
Oh no.
Tickle, tickle.
I mean, this is what makes this so horrifying
because you are actually tickled
and you can't stop laughing from it because there's something that is so
You're overcome with laughter and you can't perform reactions for not terrible
But you're also sickened to and can't speak for one round
no spells
and can't speak for one round. Oh, no spells.
Second two can't speak.
Hold on a second.
Can't take reactions.
Are you take, you spend an action to maintain the grab?
Yes.
Okay.
Then flew up 15 feet.
And then did this a single action
for all this dominating character killing immobilization?
Yeah, I'm tickling you.
You know, it's funny.
Yeah, I guess if you're on the ground,
it's not that bad to not have reaction.
Well, I'll be, you know what?
Speak.
I made a small mistake here.
I actually have to attack you with my tail.
And if I succeed on the tail attack.
Then you get the save.
Then you get the save.
So the save.
Come on, natural one.
Let me make sure I hit you first.
Come on, natural one.
I misread that because Tickle doesn't have an action attached to it.
It's a thing that comes as part of this.
Ooh, 19?
Hit. Okay. Tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tick It's a thing that comes as part of this. Ooh, 19? Yeah.
Okay.
Digga digga digga digga digga digga digga digga digga.
You son of a bitch.
Okay, so.
So he starts laughing maniacally with nothing but fear
and dread in his eyes.
Brother I.M.E.
Stop laughing.
Stop laughing.
Stop laughing.
Stop laughing.
Stop laughing.
Stop laughing.
Hot puss falling on your face.
It's now 15 feet up.
It takes three points of bleed damage and it's still bleeding, natural two. Hot pus falling on your face. It's now 15 feet up.
It takes three points of bleed damage
and it's still bleeding, natural too.
So it is now Zephyr's turn.
She takes out her bow.
She gets into monastic archer stance.
It's like off kilter from the weird atmosphere.
Like it's just making her feel like she's gonna pass out.
But she does a flurry of blows with the bow.
Flurry of blows.
Come on.
Flurry of blows.
Natural 20.
Oh!
Oh yeah!
Caitlyn, the perfect spot.
Critical threat, critical threat.
Critical threat, critical threat.
For the ravens up there just, ah!
Right in the butt.
Just like swang.
Right in the butt.
A ban critical. And crow, ah! Right in the butt. Just like swip! Right in the butt. A man critical.
Man critical.
Oh, that's right.
Man critical, natural 20.
This could be this game, game.
Chonjer.
Chonj.
Chonj.
All right, this one from Mallie D in Saratoga Springs.
Mallie D!
Saratoga!
Our very own New York.
Saratoga's near neck of the woods.
Sorta, not really.
Eye of Ash Peak.
That's Skidmore College, Skid ash peak that skidmore college skidmore zone skidmore zone
Yeah, I of ash peak few can make the shot
You just pulled off and those that can earn their place in the annals of legend. Yeah, it's anal
anal legend
But sub legend double damage any hostile creatures that see your attack
must roll a will save.
Oh, there's not any.
Well, he can see it.
He can't see it.
He can't, he doesn't have eyes?
Yeah, he's eyeless.
Gudge.
Oh, come on.
Does it say like, if the creature's eyeless, they explode?
Oh.
That's what it says.
Yeah.
So weird.
Whoa.
Oh.
How'd you know?
Yeah, that, Joe, read it.
The target of your attack treats their save result as one level worse. So weird. Whoa. Oh. How did you know? Yeah.
Joe, read it.
The target of your attack treats their save result as one level worse.
Oh.
I mean, they just got poked in the butt.
They should, even they can't see it, they should still get a save.
They should roll on this.
Come on.
I mean, but what is it?
What is the wording of it?
Any hostile creatures that can see your attack must roll a will save.
Okay.
I mean, it does have like all around vision, even though it
doesn't have a face. So yeah, so yeah, I'll roll the will save.
Yeah, I mean, that's against your her class DC. Okay. Otherwise,
it's not that cool of a crit here. 24.
Pass.
No additional effect. Okay. Double damage, double damage.
Double damage. Very good.
I hit the next one. Yeah, because you'll get that one won't crit,
but you'll get double damage plus single damage
if this one.
It'll all be combined.
Or you could double crit.
Ooh, 22 for the next one.
That is a hit.
Nice, okay.
All right, so double the first damage
and then just add single.
Single the second damage.
Triple damage.
The natural one for the first one.
So two.
Oh my God, that's awful. And then the next one. Seven points of damage total.
So another five?
You did two on the crit.
And then five.
That's so brutal.
Isn't the bow like, hate bows?
I hate bows.
You need to get a composite.
This sucks.
It's not plus anything.
Yeah, it's brutal.
I hate them.
It's just plus anything.
Yeah, it's brutal.
I hate them.
It's just one D8.
Yeah.
Is there any sort of accounting for like the fact
that bows used to be times three?
Is there any equivalent bonus for that?
Deadly.
Do you have a, wait, isn't it deadly?
Oh my God, it is.
There you go.
There we go.
You get another D10.
Come on, Kate.
I get a deadly, deadly D10.
54 episodes in, I don't know if you've ever done
the D10 damage on a crit.
Yeah.
Well, we don't crit that often, so.
Several laptops were just cracked in half by nerds.
And then I doubled the D10.
No, no, that's just a single.
That's what deadly is.
Three.
10 points of damage total.
I'm just gonna add the three
since I already added the rest.
You don't have like a damage rune on there,
something that adds to it.
I had a plus one weapon potency to hit.
Just to hit.
So it's not to damage.
I need those shards.
We are flying through interdimensional space.
We just need to get to a striking room.
You can't find a bow store.
I do more damage with my fists still at level three.
You gotta get to a striking room.
It's like kind of nuts.
Do you have any other actions?
Yeah, you just did Florian.
No, that was three actions.
I took out my bow.
Took out your bow.
Got in the stance.
Got in the stance.
Florian.
Crit, hit.
Crit and did 10 points of damage.
Barnes.
All right, here's what Barnes would like to do.
Can't you just play the game?
Can't you just play Pathfinder?
Yes, this is me playing Pathfinder.
You've been doing it for 10 years. You should be used to it by now. You can't jump 15 feet in the air. He just plays Pathfinder. Yes, this is me playing Pathfinder. You've been doing it for 10 years.
You should be used to it by now.
You can't jump 15 feet in the air.
Yes, I can.
Because I can use my mirror.
Oh, get out of here.
Oh, shit.
And I copy bars.
And that's nowhere to stand.
Doesn't matter, I'll fall.
But what I wanna do is grab, grapple the thing.
So, you wanna grapple it.
Yes, and hang on to it.
If you miss, you're just gonna fall.
Yeah. Okay. 15 feet fall. Yeah. Okay.
15 feet, all right.
Okay.
Wait, why is he just gonna fall?
Because he doesn't grab anything.
He doesn't grab, he has nothing to gain.
You could just become the other one if you miss.
You ruined it for everyone.
You ruined the end.
I wouldn't even do it now.
You spoiled the end.
I still wanna do it.
All right, it would only be five points of damage if you fell,
because the first five feet.
Well, I guess seven and a half points of damage.
Basically what would happen is,
if I start to, I'm gonna grab at the,
the way I'm gonna try to argue that it would happen is,
the instant I appear, I grab.
Right.
And if I miss the grab, I move,
but from the fall I-
No, you fall.
Yeah, that movement ends the illusion,
and I become the bottom one again.
Okay, that's fair.
That's fair.
It's worth a gamble.
It's, you know what it is?
It's fun.
It's fun.
It sure is fun.
It sure is fun.
All right, so this is gonna be-
I don't know where it's gonna go, even if it works,
but let's see.
Athletics check against your Fortitude DC.
I'm gonna spend a bottle cap.
Oh?
How many do you have?
Okay, that's an interesting choice, Matthew.
I respect you.
That's an interesting choice.
You said it like you don't.
I don't know what I was gonna say.
What'd you roll?
Because grapple has-
17.
Johns.
All right, that's just a regular failure on a grapple.
I thought it was a one.
I thought it was a one.
No, it's a seven.
That's a one.
Those Norse Foundry fonts, it's like a one.
It's hard sometimes, I get scared.
Okay.
Yeah, okay, so then I just become the me at the bottom.
You become the me at the bottom, okay.
That was two actions. Yep. And then- thank you thank you if it works I don't
know where I was gonna go but that's kind of kind of fun I the way I thought
maybe you'd rule is like having an extra body would prevent it from ascending
much higher I gotta check its strength but yeah fucking strong. I'm strong. I'm sorry, too. I'm smart. I'm smart.
Like everybody says third action, I'm going to exploit vulnerability.
Okay. It's a night.
I yeah, I get mechanical benefits during these being a bully.
Nineteen. He's being a bully.
Nineteen. He's being a bully. 19. He's being a bully. 19.
You know what, I could give you...
Yeah, okay, so that's a personal antithesis then.
What did you roll?
19.
As a Terugor.
I can give you something.
I'll say that's a success.
Oh, it's a success?
Yeah, I think I would call that a success. Okay, then any weaknesses. I mean I get to know what's greatest. Oh, hold on
So if I don't know what's greatest weakness
romantic comedies
Start quoting romantic comedies play
Play you've got mail at it I
Watch it. I have to finish don't you love
You want to buy school supplies, I don't know what to ask for then
This have any kind of resistance resistance is that we don't know already. No
No, this is a cold. That's it. Yeah, there's nothing else. I could tell you. It's gonna right all right You can tick them well. I get to do it's what your mortal weakness
Next time okay, okay?
Let's get a rookie do
Buggles, okay looks so good Buggles is this is like no any like in his in his mind He's just like help me and
Eyes glow red cool economy And in his own language, it's just like, help me. And his eyes glow red.
The Kulakan emerges.
And in his own language, he's just like,
Pestilential Macket, release our property.
And he's gonna do a new mission.
Oh, you own the Renu.
That is a 19 to hit.
Yes.
And I remember when I used to be able to do stuff.
I blame the fans.
Yeah.
You blame viewers and listeners everywhere.
Every time, ever since I pointed out
what I was doing stuff wrong,
because they said that I did it,
I haven't done anything.
You shouldn't even tell them anymore.
Yeah, I'm not gonna tell them.
Don't do fan service.
Just make up your damage every time.
Yeah.
Ramius, you're sickened.
Oh, wait.
Oh. Side burst. Oh Oh yes. I get reflex
save. Uh 20. Alright let's see. Success. Uh three points of damage. Okay. Mental. You
buffet the mind. Ramius you are sickened too. You are 15 feet in the air. You are restrained.
You cannot perform reactions
and you are laughing uncontrollably.
What do you do?
Nothing, right?
You do nothing.
When does that effect end?
The tickling effect.
Is it still tickling?
Is it still tickling?
Is it to the start of the creature's tickling? Uh... Oh, wait.
Is it till the start of the creature's next turn? Uh, you can't perform reaction-
It's one round.
Oh wait, you can't-
It was actually four points of damage, sorry.
What, I used to say three?
I said three.
Okay. So I'll take another point of damage.
Basically, you're sickened to...
You can't speak for a round,
and you can't take reactions for a round.
But you're sickened to...
No rules of sickening.
Okay.
Uh, then I will attempt to escape.
Okay.
Let's see what you got.
Come on.
Come on, Ramu.
Come on.
Come on, Joe Dye.
Come on, buddy.
Critical failure.
Oh.
Whew.
Natural 2.
You don't get free.
Every die I have sucks.
Can't get it going.
I think it's the dice.
They're only a common denominator,
they're like a pinpoint.
How come every die I have rolls shitty?
Hasta, you are up, you are the only one
of your friends that isn't clumsy,
but that thing is now 15 feet in the air.
So I had the idea that Matthew had, but with my thing.
So I would like to do Dimensional Assault to get there,
but then the second action, my next two would be another Spellstrike.
So recharge my Spellstrike, Dimensional Assault, and do it.
Can I do that in the time frame of Dimensional Assault, attack?
Teleport to any square.
Dimensional Assault and attack.
Dimensional Assault includes an, dimensional assault includes an attack.
I get one right away and then I can do another spell strike. So I don't know how long the falling like I can get it on the way down.
Yeah, so you're gonna fall 15 feet. That's okay.
But yeah, you can, I'm reading dimensional assault again. You tumble through space, making a short dimensional hop to a better position for this up to attack.
I guess this is a better position as opposed to no position
Teleport to any square in range in three dimensional world. There is a square there
That's in within reach of a creature and then make us melee strike against one creature within your reach
So that's a spell strike is part of the attack. No, so what she's saying is attack then then a second attack
Before she falls. That's what I'd like to do.
Interesting.
The dimensional assault allows me
to recharge the spell strike, and it costs an action,
and I get to do an attack when I do it.
Then I can do a spell strike.
So I'm wondering if dimensional assault,
I get to stab, and then on the way down,
I can do another attack.
Interesting.
I don't think so, because of the time in which you would fall.
I think you're stabbing on the way down.
Yeah.
The dimensional assault gets you the attack.
You can get that one attack off,
but then next round you could spell strike, right?
No, because then I'm out of range.
No, you could spell strike.
You just don't have a target.
Yes.
You can't dimensional assault,
spell strike on the next round.
I need to be within range to do a spell strike.
It's melee.
It's really fucking cool.
I mean, it's okay if not.
I could still do Dimensional Assault and get a single hit in,
which kind of isn't worth it to fall 15 feet.
Kind of.
Do you have anything in range?
I have spells. I could just shoot a cantrip.
I'm trying to think. If you went 20 feet up,
struck it, and then spell struck it from below.
I don't have 20 feet.
You can't go up 20 feet.
It's a short distance. You'd fastball special bubbles
My options are I could do the dimensional assault hit it
Get hurt on the ground and then do a cantrip or I could do a cantrip from the ground and be prone I
Mean cool idea. It might be your only way to hit or just do a ranged attack from there, a ranged spell. I could just try to do like a cantrip
and then a fox fire from the ground where I am
and not fall and get hurt.
But it's like weak.
My shit is weak.
You know what?
I think it's fun.
We're jumping around.
I'll do the dimensional assault just in case.
I'm gonna do it and I'm gonna attack.
Yeah.
Cause I think it's interesting. Yeah
For a way to make it work. I just it's okay. I like you would be falling too fast. Yeah, that's alright
Physics you fall at such a fast rate. That's okay. Let's try it jump out the window. Okay, and I'll give you a sword
Okay, how many times can I hit? Yeah, if you hit our window twice or the window below us twice, I'll let you do it.
All right. Open up the wall.
I'll be right back.
She died.
It turns out she could do it.
All right. Here we go.
18 plus 10, 28.
Hey, that's great.
We need to hit.
Yeah. So I get to get my dimensional assault attack off.
We need to hit. To hit, yeah.
So I get to get my dimensional assault attack off.
Shraaah!
Shraaah!
Very cool.
Teleport up into the air and slice and dice.
Yes.
It is very anime.
It's just like, she just disappears, slices down.
That's gonna be nine points of damage, slashing damage.
As she comes down with the momentum.
Falls 15 feet to the ground.
All right, so.
Okay. You still take, so. Okay.
You still take, so you take seven and a half points
of damage.
Seven points of damage.
Yeah.
Okay, so she hits the ground.
There's no check she can do here?
Yeah, can I do like to stay standing?
That's what I'm looking to like try and be prone or.
You can't grab an edge, but you can arrest a fall
if you have a fly speed.
Initially if you fall into it,
you can treat the falls at February 23rd. The effective reduction can't be. Initially if you fall under, you can treat the falls if it were 23.
The effective reduction can't be greater than the depth.
No, you can't.
I just hit the ground.
I'm not seeing it very quickly here, but yeah.
Okay.
So she hits the ground a little harder than she thought.
She thought she'd land on her feet.
That hurts.
Yeah, you'll be prone, but you still hold your weapon,
we'll say.
Okay, thank you.
So then, yeah, she lands.
And then with her other hand from the ground
She's just like out and then she's gonna shoot a phase bolt
At the creature noise nice try to get some more damn moge. Oh
Damn it
No, that's that's not gonna hit not gonna hit
Poisonous atmosphere's, everyone roll a fortitude.
Safe.
Sucks.
Worse than before?
No?
Okay, that's a 22.
Now I'm back.
Wait, I'm second.
I'm second.
You're second too, so if anything it's 20.
So it'll be a 20.
13.
It is a 20.
14. 12. 24. Okay. 20 13 it is a 20 14 12
24 okay
Asta Zephyr and Barnes are clumsy one
No longer clumsy that matters. Oh, yeah clumsy for Ramious. No longer clumsy for Buggles
Top around three
Maintains restraint.
Rises another 15.
Come on.
You are now 30 feet in the air.
So if this creature falls, you're gonna fall.
You don't have to do anything.
This is crazy.
This is crazy.
Yeah, it has this ability called clutches.
A night gong can fly at full speed while it has a medium or smaller creature
Grabbed or restrained in its claws. My idea would have worked if I had been up there to medium
It wouldn't have been able to go anywhere carrying that creature along with it
I've been able to roll
You have to of a ten you have to roll to keep this grapple
I'm convinced of this.
You know, I thought that and then I remember reading the grab ability. I think that was sort
of the thing is like, right? The monster can instead use grab and choose one creature it's
grabbing or restraining with an appendage that has grabbed to automatically extend that condition to the end of the monsters next turn.
That's the monster ability grab.
So the penalty I have to use is I'm spending the action.
I lift you up and I want to tickle you some more or do I want to just start eating you?
Ugh.
I don't want to eat you.
Why does it tickle if it's just gonna eat?
Likes to play with its food.
Yeah.
All right.
Yeah, I mean, right now,
you could still heal yourself.
No.
Why?
Because I'm restrained.
That's right.
I can't do anything.
All right, so I'm working through like-
So right now I'm no longer cackling it
and sickened and stuff.
Right, because it's one round, yeah.
Yeah.
But I'm, if I, so I basically I'm thinking-
You could start tickling it.
I'm trying to go two routes here.
I might want to tickle you and weaken you
or just start doing damage and kill you.
Or just drop me.
Yeah.
I'm gonna claw you.
So it like, it reaches with its claw
and it just sticks it into into your and just starts pulling
Go for the crit here
Natural 20 no look I won't even move
Don't even move my hand wait won't even move my hand you saw him walk behind me
Natural 20 not a named creature, but he should be.
Jimmy the Nightgong.
Jimmy NG.
It's gonna be double damage.
Calling shots like Babe Ruth.
Didn't happen. I don't think he did that 34 points of slashing damage
Well dying to
Brother Ramious
goes to
dying
to
In the clutches of this night gone the only other
Foggles can do a little bit of healing.
Hubert can't do it.
The Oatian sages have used up their healing juice.
It is Sephiroth's turn.
It takes three points of bleed.
And it's still bleeding.
So it's 30 feet in the air.
She's actually gonna move closer to the platform here.
This, so you know, is really, really bad for Ramias.
Yeah.
And she's going to do flurry of Blows with her arrows.
Oh God, I feel like she like sees Brother Ramius go limp.
First one is a 23.
That's a hit.
23's a hit.
Second one.
Second one misses.
So the first one, one D8. Oh, I didn't have you doing stun stunning on that one.
Stunning fist!
Um, first one's four point of damage, um, and fortitude save.
Fortitude save. What's this for?
Stunning fist.
You have to hit with both, don't you?
Either one.
Oh?
Mm-hmm.
Well, la-de-da.
Shoot that last time.
I know, I forgot. What level are you guys? I crit, so. What level well, I did. What? I know I forgot.
I'm only a guy. So what level am I?
Three. OK, so incapacitation.
Yes. Uh, hmm.
Fortitude or will fortitude 16 fail.
Nice success. It doesn't matter.
That's real natural.
Oh, it's one step better. Right.
You have one more action.
I ran up. I shot twice, and I feel like she's gonna stow
her bow in case Brother Ramius falls,
because she wants to try to break the fall somehow.
Okay.
That is.
You're also the only one that can hit it right now.
And if it keeps flying up, you'll still be the only one
that can hit it.
As soon as it moves.
But if it flies higher up, you'll still be the only one that can hit it. As soon as it moves... But if it flies higher and we kill it, gonna drop other Ramius.
And he'll just go to dying three.
I'm the only one that can hit it.
If you look under falling, there is a thing falling on a creature.
It's intended for someone who's falling to try and use their reflexes to land on someone and a critical success. They take no damage
The falling creature has to roll or the creature that the falling creature the way is intended is the falling creature has to roll
And if you were to purposely put yourself in harm's way to try and break his fall
I think that there's a argument to be made here where I may make you may offer you the chance to roll the reflex save to try and break his fall and you
know maybe you would take the damage or something I don't know. I figured out.
I guess there's no point in putting it away because I won't be able to run up
to break his fall until my next turn anyway so I'll keep my bow out and I And I guess the Amicus, guidance.
Oh, great.
Okay, cool.
Keep it away from the gate!
Barnes.
Okay, Barnes, when he sees Ramius go limp in his grip,
he's gonna say, no!
And he's gonna reach out.
Blood is just pouring from the edges of his hands.
It's coming off from his back
and just dripping down to the ground.
Mixed with the pus of the hand.
He's gonna reach out with his hand
and a blasting beam of fire will erupt from his palm.
Oh, nice.
Juicetacular.
So I gotta roll the backlash first, right?
Yeah.
Oh, the backlash.
What's the backlash?
C5.
Just flat check. Yeah. Fourteen.
OK. All right.
And then to attack and attack guidance.
Yeah. Ranged.
Come on. Burn it.
Gone. Sixteen.
Yeah.
OK.
So then Barnes is going to.
He's going to,
he's going to pull out a scroll. Oh, well, let me just check this.
What's the range of heal?
Scroll of 30.
Jewel healing.
You're 30 feet in the air.
Yeah, he's 30 feet up.
I'll pull out a scroll and I'll attempt to cast heal
on Brother Amias from range.
Okay.
Oh no, I can't, two actions.
Pulling out the scroll.
Pull it out and casting it, yeah.
And I need two actions to cast Heal to get it from range.
God.
Shit.
Well, you could pull out the scroll.
I'll pull out the scroll.
Cast it on his mutilated corpse.
You could give it to Bugles.
And waste it.
Next round.
Can you cast Heal?
No.
Do you have any ability to...
Well, you can pull out the scroll
and then anyone can come grab it.
I mean, I can, yeah, I can heal him
a little bit on my turn.
You could offer him the scroll as a trade
for Ramius's body.
Maybe he really likes scrolls.
I'm gonna pull out the scroll, one action,
and second action, I'll aid Buggles.
Okay. Third action. action. Wait a minute.
Just for the record, I think it stands to reason for anybody that cares.
I don't. I think it stands to reason
that right there on the ground.
By the John Jamsky.
Would be the plus one striking crossbow.
It's FYI. Oh, because you were holding it. It was in my hand when you went on. John Jamsky would be the plus one striking crossbow.
It's FYI. Oh, cause you were holding it.
It was in my hand.
And you dropped it when you went on top.
I never imagined him in his hand during this entire thing.
That's fine, I'm fine with that.
It would be unloaded of course, but laying on the ground.
Sadly, it landed right on top of the plinth there
based on where you were standing.
So it's just kind of balancing right next to the telescope.
The telescope, according to this map, the telescope is over down here. Yeah, I don't know what's going on with that man. That's a little weird balancing right next to the telescope. The telescope, according to this map,
the telescope is over down here.
Yeah, I don't know what's going on with it.
That's a little weird.
I can't move it. I don't know how to do it.
It's probably a way.
Anyway, I think it's interesting.
That could be down there for Asta.
To fire a crossbow?
I'm just saying.
With what she had.
That idea.
Hey, you put 150 points into dexterity
You could use the you'd be great with a crossbow
I'm clumsy, but oh yeah, yeah, I'll pull out the scroll and aid bubbles. Don't aid me cuz it won't help me
Hey, it does suffer
Hey the women folk
All right, we'll find out what that aid...
Maybe Hubert could grab the crossbow.
...may or may not be.
Oh, find me a weapon for old me.
Uh...
Save us all again, piece of shit.
Foggles.
Alright, so...
Shmuggles.
Like, the fury of the Kulakan as his eyes turn blue,
and he's going to do another, an Amped Frostbite attack with the end
of his Unleashed Psyche.
Please give me a Fortitude save.
Okay, and should I do this even though?
Oh, because you could exceed its resistance
or if it has immunity, nothing.
If it's immune, then what's the point?
Okay, so you said it was a resistance.
Fortitude, did he confirm it was resistance?
Fail with 13.
Okay. All right, so we'll see. It's Amped. Fortitude? Did he confirm it was resistance? Failed with 13. OK.
All right, we'll see.
It's amped.
15 points of cold damage.
Yes. OK.
Some of that gets through.
OK.
And then I get seven points of,
of um, uh.
10 PHP. 10 PHP.
And then with his, the Bugles, Bugles facet reaches out
and heals Remius for eight hit points.
Nice.
Whoa.
And then, the Kulakan vacates and I'm, I'm,
he's just,
Oh my God.
He's in so much pain.
His back completely opened up.
And it is Brother Ramius's turn.
You are,
Wait, you're no longer dying.
Just wounded one.
And he's going to put everything he has
into struggling to get out of there.
Okay.
Give me a
stupid ass shit around.
Scape check.
Come on. Scape check.
Come on, Joe.
I don't know what die to use.
Doesn't matter.
They're all the same. You got it, it's okay.
It's not about the dice.
It's not about the dice? It's about the man behind the dice. I like that. It's okay. It's not about the dice. It's not about the dice about the man behind the dice
That's worse wait it works
All right, come on Ramies this could be huge this could be huge
Everything's got left come Come on, stupid thing. Come on.
It's a natural three. I can't believe it. Every escape check. Five, four, three. That's what they
were in a row. Five, four, three. That's it. I can't even attempt a second time. Like this is just so freaking brutal.
God.
Remember, it's not about the dice, Joe.
It's about the man behind it.
It says a lot about the man behind the dice.
Thanks, Sid.
Behind every shitty roll, there's a shitty man.
There's three guys.
There's three guys.
There's three guys.
Oh. Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh. Oh. Oh.om. Pew. Fuck.
Is that a... Two.
Okay.
So nothing.
That's two actions.
For last one action, she's just gonna do
Fox fire with her tail.
Fox fire.
Bolt shoots out.
Let's see.
Electricity.
Oh, oh, oh.
That's gonna hit.
That's a 19 plus.
Where's my foxfire?
Where's my foxfire?
Where's my foxfire?
Did you take the map on that?
I will, just shush.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow, Sidney.
22.
With the map.
Yes. 22.
Did you take a penalty for firing prone?
What? I don't know.
A spell?
No.
Is it a ranged attack?
It's a-
Yes.
It's a-
It's a spell attack.
It's a magical unarmed-
You take a minus two from firing.
Electric-
You are off guard and you take a minus two penalty to attack rolls.
And since that has-
When you're prone?
When prone.
Yeah.
Foxfire?
It just says- Stop! It's just called magical unarmed.
So weird.
Does the text of Foxfire say make a spell attack roll?
There's no text on here,
cause this program is bad.
All right, so that misses is what you're trying to tell me?
Yeah, you're natty 19 missed.
If it's an attack, brutal.
I guess it is.
Range unarmed attack, yes.
I guess it is. So that is a minus two, which means that it misses.
Just misses, in fact.
That's why I was holding your pulse there.
C21 Barnes.
What am I going to hit it with?
Yeah, you make a ranged unarmed attack.
Damn it.
Point of order.
How many HP of my damage ended up going through? I don't feel comfortable telling
you. I have to know for the effect. And you also should have told me. His hands are tied.
Yeah, he has to know. I have to be able to enter something in this because the amount
of temporary HP that I get is dependent on the total amount of damage after applying
resistance. Ten points went through. Alright. Wow! Alright. Resistance five. Resistance five okay this is five that's great you also should have told me when
I got ran roll that success you didn't ask my resistance I did I said about
weaknesses well it's true thanks I did ask where we were with this
with you man take friends the poisonous atmosphere is turned. Everybody roll a fortitude save.
It's a brand new day.
I mean, this is the worst stretch of bad rolling I've ever had.
Everything is gonna be okay.
Fortitude save.
Fortitude save.
I ended up there, Troy.
By the way, this is great.
Having a great time.
Thanks.
With a 23. 23? All to have you. With a 23.
23? Alright, you're unaffected.
Great.
13.
Clumsy 1.
16.
Clumsy 1.
23.
Unaffected.
11.
Clumsy 1.
So now it is Barnes and your name.
Zephyrameus?
Rameus.
And Bugles.
Uh huh.
Right? You failed, right?
No, I succeeded. Oh, it was, excuse me, Zephyr. You failed right? No, I succeed. Oh, it was excuse me Zephyr. You guys are so clumsy
I forgot so Barnes Zephyr buckles clumsy one
Top around four it is the night gaunt's turn the gaunt of night
Continues holding on. I was wondering if you'd just not use your action this round.
Goes up 45 feet.
Oh, come on, Troy.
This is awful.
I can't heal you.
45 feet up in the air.
Tickle you.
Wait, did the tickle do damage? No, tickle doesn't do damage.
Just incapacity.
All that horrible stuff, yeah.
Man, what is this?
Twisted creature.
In this horrible flesh world with hair follicles.
And we're not vanishing to another place.
Ziggy, why haven't I leaped yet?
Um...
Thank you, Matthew.
Okay, so...
Hmm.
I'm a real pickle here.
Uh...
You are
dying too.
You got caps though, right? He's awake.
I'm awake, I'm wounded one. You were, is your wounded one? You got caps though, right? He's awake. I'm awake, I'm wounded one. But you were, is your wounded one?
You got caps?
No.
You don't have any caps?
No.
You have to be honest.
No, I don't.
What a shame.
Do you recall giving any caps?
You used one last step, right?
I did.
To re-roll something, yeah.
Well, let's have some fun.
It goes up another 15 feet.
It's now 60 feet in the air. Oh
That puts it out of range. Well almost out of range of a lot of spells
And it's Zephyr's turn clumsy as an oaf
Alright
Well, I was gonna put away my bow
away my bow to try to catch him if he fell. But I think I'm the only one who can hit now
if it keeps going so far up.
I can't use Stunning Fist because it's out of the range
for that but I can still use Flurry of Blows
with the long bow.
So we're gonna do that.
Come on, come on.
I roll to aid you.
I'm gonna roll Perception.
No, I'm gonna roll an attack roll.
I don't age.
This is really, that's so painful.
I'm gonna use my Kate dice.
Yes, use the Kate dice.
Swear to God.
So pretty.
Dare.
Disappoint me.
For the listeners, she's talking to her dice.
Once any of us.
18 for the first one, which is a miss. Come on Kate dice. Nope, miss. What was it? What was it? What was it? What was it? What was it? What was it?
What was it?
What was it?
What was it?
What was it?
What was it?
What was it?
What was it?
What was it?
What was it?
What was it?
What was it?
What was it?
What was it?
What was it?
What was it?
What was it?
What was it?
What was it?
What was it?
What was it?
What was it?
What was it?
What was it?
What was it? What was it? What was it? What was it? What was it? What was it? You should take three. Let me just make sure here. Oh no, I did. I just didn't roll the check.
90, 19.
Thanks for reminding me.
No longer bleeding.
This is what really just takes it to another level.
It's like trash, trash, trash, gold, gold, gold, gold.
I don't want to try to hit again.
Cause if I critically fail, which is a very real possibility,
cause I do it all the time,
I could hit brother Ramius.
So I'm not-
You know honestly,
that might be the best thing for him.
This is a horrible situation.
He wouldn't want to leave him alive here.
We can't hear you.
Well, you can hear it.
Brother Ramius, a little louder.
There's like blood-
Heal you?
Blood drips into your mouth.
Heal you?
There's nothing she can do. I think she just uses the rest of her actions to just prepare stand there
Will you do guidance on me for my spell?
Didn't I already do guidance on you?
No
No, oh cuz I was going to but you were down earlier. Oh, yeah, that was more than ten minutes ago. Anyways a long
down earlier. Oh, yeah.
That was more than 10 minutes ago anyways.
It's a long day.
It's an hour.
Oh, it's an hour.
It's even still.
Yeah.
All right.
We had to do the healing up and everything.
I'll do guidance on Asta
and I honestly, I don't have a third action.
It's okay.
That's all right.
Okay.
Sometimes you don't.
Yeah.
It's the Amicus Barnes turn. So it was a crossbow on the't. Yeah. It's the Omicus Barnes turn.
So there's a crossbow on the ground.
Yeah.
Unloaded.
Mm-hmm.
Why would it be unloaded?
Because we were traveling through an inch of-
It was loaded.
When it hit the ground, an arrow went through.
It's loaded.
Why would it be not loaded?
To the single world.
It would be unloaded unless that happened.
Okay, so if you set a mouse trap
and then drop it on the ground.
That's not how a crossbow works.
You have to pull the trigger. It's an unload a crossbow works, you have to pull the trigger.
It's an unloaded crossbow.
Oh my god. Are there any bolts?
I don't see why there wouldn't be any.
You're in a quiver on his back.
Single bolt. Yes.
They even get shaken out when he was upside down.
It's raining, now it's also raining bolts.
Roll a two action perception.
Oh my god.
There is one bolt standing straight up atop the plinth.
Just like it landed perfect.
That's not gonna work.
Stop.
I got top it, you're gonna ruin the table.
That's gonna fall.
You're making me so nervous.
Stop. Stop it, it's shaking.
Stop.
Yeah, it's 30 feet on a two-action hill, right?
So, not much I can do to help you.
Bolt.
Pick it up, load it, fire it.
I mean- Did I say bolt?
Crossbow, crossbow.
Pick it up, load it, fire it.
Natural 20.
There are, so we're saying there are bolts.
There are bolts.
You're holding the scroll.
There's a bolt, there was a bolt in it.
You said it was unloaded.
It was unloaded because it fired off
when it hit the ground,
but the bolt jammed into the arch like he said, I have no
idea what's real.
There's a bolt in a crossbow.
Great. I'm gonna go with that.
I'll just give me like six actions. You walk over to it,
grab the crossbow walk over to it's grab a bolt.
I don't have to walk.
He's right there. I mean, that's where is it grabbed from?
He's right next to I'm sorry, I didn't see you there. Okay, so grab grab load is all I can do grab grab load. Yeah, can't scoop both at the same time
Kate doesn't like your baloney. No, I'm so tired of you trying to
Weasel baloney an edge into every I like baloney the worst I have no issues with baloney. It is bubbles
I love baloney grab grab grab little grab grab load
Buggles Buggles Buggles Buggles like half aware of where he is
And he's probably the most fortunate of us as a result. Okay cross flat check makes the flat check
And just at the edge of his range. He's gonna try ignition
There we go 26 to hit there we go, 26 to hit. There we go buddy.
26 is a hit. Okay. Now let me make sure I do the damage right. Oh god. Is it amped?
It's not amped because this is gonna be pretty limited because I don't... yeah. Yeah. All right.
10 points of fire damage. Okay.
Oggles reaches out,
hits this thing with 10 points of fire damage
and kills it.
Yes!
Oh no.
Ramius drops to the ground,
takes 30 points of damage,
and all of a sudden, you are taken
to another place.
Wait a minute.
How does the Massive Damage rules work?
I'm not sure.
Wait, if you take the amount of damage equal to your max HP?
Your max?
Because that's less than my max HP. Your max? Is that a thing?
Because that's less than my max HP.
So then you're fine.
Yeah, no, I think you're okay.
You should be fine.
I'm only dying to.
And with my third action.
You die instantly if you ever take damage
equal to greater than double your max.
Oh, okay.
So he just, okay.
Splur!
And his just body just bursts on the ground
into a pool of blood and he's dying to.
Dying to. And all of a sudden you are transported to yet another world.
Oh my god.
This grotesque living landscape that you are on blinks away and is now replaced by a dead plane of blackened cratered stone. Where the sky once hung overhead
is now only the starry black of space.
Nearby, cracks, bones, litter,
the blasted foundation of a ruined building.
And in the distance, a delicate palace rises from the rock,
its walls formed from giant fused bones.
Oh.
Wind howls into the arch of the Ayodara
from all directions.
Leli's looking around.
I'm almost there.
I'm almost there.
And you hear a sound.
You see a creature just sort of talking to a pile of bones in the distance.
Turns to you.
The creature looks like this.
Oh boy.
I don't mean that's a friend.
That is not gonna be a diplomacy check.
Creature looks at you,
looks back at the bones it was talking to,
and says, yes, I wonder if the bone sages
will let me keep you as pets.
And we'll see you next week.
Oh!
Oh!
Already down, dying!
Dude.
What? We have to jump. I'm starting Already down, dying. Dude. What?
We have to jump.
Starting an encounter, dying too.
What is happening?
With no caps.
With no caps.
The worst episode of Star Trek ever.
Ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha.
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