The Glass Cannon Podcast - Gatewalkers Episode 55 – Single White Karen

Episode Date: October 11, 2024

With Brother Ramius at death's door, the party is transported to yet another planet as the aiudara continues to go wild! Watch the video here: https://youtu.be/Q2oBhKgBxF0 This episode was sponsored by Foundry VTT and Norse Foundry. See why tabletop gamers everywhere have made the switch to Foundry Virtual Tabletop at https://foundryvtt.com/gcp For all your random number-generating needs, visit Norse Foundry at https://norsefoundry.com Visit https://zbiotics.com/GCP to learn more and get 15% off your first order when you use "GCP" at checkout. ZBiotics is backed with a 100% money back guarantee, so if you're unsatisfied for any reason, they'll refund your money, no questions asked. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/GCN to get 10% off your first month. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. Watch new episodes when they premiere every Thursday at 8PM ET on youtube.com/theglasscannon. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What does possible sound like for your business? It's more cash on hand to grow with up to 55 interest-free days. Redefine possible with Business Platinum. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Terms and conditions apply. Visit mx.ca slash Business Platinum. You are listening to the Glass Cannon Network, the premier source for role-playing game entertainment. The premier source for role-playing game entertainment. Last week on the Glass Cannon podcast... Cold red desert appears all around.

The gateway ruins that you stand upon now stand in the mouth of one of these canyons to the south. A little rat folk looks up at you. This is my salvage you too tall Sam-sucking tubas. Oh no. A lilly yells wait wait wait it's changing again and all of a sudden Everything changes Pink desert spongy flesh like hills from the peak of a nearby ridge like a huge vein Eyeless black winged shape takes flight.

Remus. Oh boy. You are restrained. You start to feel it begin to. Oh. No, no, no. It's time to fly. No.

It goes up another 15 feet. It's now 60 feet in the air. Puggles, Puggles, Puggles. There we go. 26 to hit. There we go, buddy. 26 is a hit. Puggles reaches out and kills him. Yes!

Oh no. Ramius drops to the ground. And his just body just bursts on the ground into a pool of blood and he's dying too. Dying too. And all of a sudden, you are taken to another place. A dead plane of blackened, cratered stone. I'm almost there! I'm almost there!

You see a creature turns to you. I wonder if the bone messengers will let me keep you as pets. The adventure continues... ...now. Hey everybody, welcome back to the Glass Cannon Podcast. Here's something you may not realize about this studio. We started recording here a little over a year ago, maybe a year and a half ago. I don't know, something like that. And it was definitely in the middle of the summer when we started. Yeah. And we went through a whole fucking situation to try and get AC installed in here in a way

that would be quiet enough to maybe record with it. We got, there was fraud. We got fraud. We were the victims of fraud. We were the victims of fraud by some fucking local HVAC loser. You didn't hear about this? Yeah. Yeah. We lost a lot of money. some fucking local HVAC loser. Yeah. Yeah.

We lost a lot of money. We didn't take in a small game score because you had to pay more money to do that than we lost. The guy just took the money and dipped, right? Like just ghosted. And like a cereal. I mean like came in, talked to me like, yeah, yeah, this is good.

We run this here and do this. Oh, it'll be easy. Yeah, just send all the money to my checking account. And I did. That's my gift cards. And then I never heard from him again, it was amazing. I was like, wow, that was real good fraud. He had me convinced, he was like an HVAC guy.

Yeah, I was utterly convinced. And he did this to other people, right? You like went down the trail and you're like, oh yeah, that's his thing. Yeah, and he ghosted and he yeah, that's his thing. Yeah. He like, and he ghosted and he's never going to work in this. An hour of work. Not bad.

Not bad. Good rate. If you're like low on money. Pretty good acting rate. Yeah, not bad. Just got to fool a couple of suckers. But we got the AC installed, but it's sort of this, this goes back to the early days of Glass Cannon.

We get air conditioning and we don't use it during the recording. This goes back to Joe's apartment when he didn't have air conditioning. Then you finally got it and we were just between episodes, turn it on, make it as cold as possible. Just stand in front of the vent like, oh, oh. It was so hot. Then in late July, early August heat, we'd be 14 minutes into the episode just like, I can't wait till this episode ends. And we for some reason did the same thing.

Well, I know what the reason is, we did the same thing here for a long time, because to pull out that sound, even though it's the most quiet AC in the world, it's a lot of work. But this summer, we're like, but you can't do it. We're just going to have to make poor CJ do the work. It sounds a little bit worse, maybe. I mean, I don't really notice much of a difference. CJ does an amazing job post-production,

but I think it, maybe it sounds a little bit worse, but you have happy people playing the game. That's the thing. Which I think is way more valuable than the ultimate minute sound quality. I still get mad whether it's on or off. Yeah, no, he'll still get mad. I always run hot. At least we're comfortable while we're at cold. Yeah, no, he'll still get mad. It's just, I always run hot.

At least we're comfortable while we're at it. Yeah, everyone is still angry all the time, but it's not like 12 angry jurors in here, where it's like throwing shit at each other. That's why they were so mad and 12 angry men, because there was no AC, the fan was broken. Yeah. Do the right thing.

Do the right thing. Same thing. Dabbing their head, yeah. Our most edited episode was the Oweega fight. And that was in the middle of summer. It was an extra long episode. No one had eaten. Oh no.

And it was so hot. It had a lot of things going against it. 112 degrees in the show's apartment. 112 degrees in Joe's apartment. Literally 12 angry men trapped in a room together, no food, all heat. I was ready to throw a trash can through the window of Sal's pizzeria by the end of that.

Well, as we started up today's episode, CJ, our sound engineer who does all the work of removing that sound, was like, why don't we go without AC? And we're all like, well, most of us are like, yeah, you know what's a nice day? It's like 60 out. That's fine. And Kate refused.

Yeah. I was just like, what's the big deal? By the way, Kate is wearing Kate refused. Yeah. I was just like, what's the big deal? By the way, Kate is wearing a blanket. Yeah. She's wearing a cable-knit blanket. I can snuggle if it's not cold. Like, you know, like when I sleep at night,

I put a fan on, air conditioning on, and then I snuggle up. It's the best. It's good to sleep in the cold. Yeah. Agreed. It's good for you, I think. Oh yeah.

But we're not going to bed. I mean, maybe we are going to bed forever. That's true. We're not in a good situation right now. So you're preparing. So I'd like to make myself as comfy physically as possible. For death?

For death, yes. I get ready for death by putting a blanket around me. That's why coffins have pillows in them and silk lining. Aww. Because you want to be as comfy as possible. The forever sleep. The long sleep. I'm just thinking ahead.

It is, It's interesting. Kate could turn out here to be dead on depending on how this episode goes. I think we're fine. We're looking at a really possibly horrible episode and so making everybody at least comfortable. I think so, I see. It's palliative care for our campaign.

You'll thank me later. Did you bring blankets for the rest of the week? Yeah, do you have a pillow for me? Oh, this was a gift. It was actually. That's that beautiful knitted blanket. Sorry, you didn't get one? From a fan?

No, I did not get one. Yeah, I got one. I think everyone can relate, though, to that feeling at the table when you know. Of not getting a gift when everyone else doesn't. No, no. I can relate to it right now. This is the communal blanket.

Next episode, you can have it if you want. No, yeah, when you see it through. I can't share blankets. What? Might as well wear someone else's underwear. What? Sidney wore this first, and now I'm wearing it. Yeah, we're best friends.

Yes. I mean, I guess we do share underwear. Gross. What do you do with your blankets? So disgusting. Nope. I'm gonna let that one go. What are you doing?

What are you guys doing in your hotel rooms? I don't know. Nope. We'll let that one go. What are you doing? What are you guys doing in your hotel rooms? I don't know. Anyway. I always comment on when we're touring, like, Kate will wear something that Sydney wore the day before. I'm like, oh, you're wearing Sydney's dress up clothes. And she always proudly goes, yep.

I don't think, here's what it is. Troy's like, adults can't have friends. Adults don't share blankets. I'm like, I don't. Adults don't wear each other's underwear. Adults don't wear each other's underwear. So many rules. They don't share toothbrushes Adults don't share blankets. I'm like, I don't know. Don't wear each other's underwear. Don't wear each other's underwear. She's been sharing toothbrushes. They don't share toothbrushes in the bathroom.

I think Troy just doesn't have a best friend. Wow. Well, by that, if we're talking about underwear sharing and toothbrush sharing. I also don't have a best friend. I don't either. To be fair, I've seen. We're fine with it.

I've seen how you pack for tours. And there's no extra underwear. There's nothing. You don't bring anything. Literally we were. No, no, she packs on vibes. One day we were at the Delta Lounge before a flight and Sydney decided it was the middle of winter

and she decided she didn't want to wear a coat. So she unzips her luggage, and there's nothing in it. And she stuffs her coat inside and zips it back up. And Troy, Kate, and I are just staring at her. What? It's like Kramer with the saltines and the briefcase. I don't even really work here. Saltines.

What was funny here is that I was totally empty. I was trying to unzip it in a way that wasn't awkward, but it was, and it like fell open. And then like one thing fell out. And Matthew looked and he said, is that all you brought? You're going to Canada. You're going to Canada. And I knew I wanted to pack light,

and I wanted to bring back fun stuff from Canada. So I went with a mostly empty suitcase. But it was comically empty. It was a one show stop. What did you bring back? Oh, we went to Muji in Canada. They had a great selection, and I brought back a full duvet and sheet set.

That's how I got it. That's insane life, you. What a bizarre existence. It was practical and made sense at the time, but we're saying it out loud now. And I'm like, I'll fit in the suitcase. And it fit perfectly, because the suitcase was empty. Unbelievable.

It was a strange life. Yeah, it really is. To think, to be like, I'm going to make sure I bring a big suitcase and pack light so I can bring back sheets from Canada. We also bought house slippers and sweater vests. I'm gonna make sure I bring a big suitcase and pack light so I can bring back sheets From Canada. We also bought house slippers and sweater vests. Yeah, we bought a lot of stuff. It was fun I always think about how people without children Do things and then like a step further like people who live on another planet So far removed

Good life wherever I live. Well, you pack light. You don't bring much, but you bring a small bag. Yeah, I pack morning up. I pack morning up. You wear one pair of pants. Don't you dare. You pack.

I only has one pair of pants. This is my new pants, by the way. I meant to do a post that said these were my pants. Nice. I had to throw them out. Morning of? These are my new pants. You ritualistically burned the old ones?

So the other day, I flew somewhere. I don't want to say where. And I woke up, and I was like, oh, I'm an hour off. I miscalculated. I pulled into the parking garage 15 minutes before boarding. Oh my god. And I was at the gate with nine minutes to spare and a coffee because I have traveling down to a science.

What did you pack though? I woke up that morning and I was like, oh shoot, I miscalculated. I really should have got up an hour before. Let me just grab some stuff and I threw it in a book bag and took a shower. I said, all right, honey, I love you. And then I left. It was like five in the morning. And then I drove an hour and 15 minutes to JFK. I was like, oh, this is

going to be tight. And just boop, boop, boop, boop. You know what? I like that though, because yeah, we travel a lot for tour and stuff. And I feel like as soon as you can let go of the stress of the packing and what if I forget, you can find it. You can go to any other state in the United States. They will have what you need. They will have deodorant, underwear, whatever you forget. So I feel that, pants. I feel that.

Why stress? You forget something, just buy it. Yeah, just get it. Is really that important? You don't need to do that. What if you forget your laptop? What if you forget your dice? That would be annoying.

That would be annoying. But like- What if you forget your dice? We sell dice at the shows. Oh true. We actually have done that as a solution before. We bought our own dice before. Important stuff always makes it through. And it just relieves stress.

Even the airports, like, what's the worst going to happen? I miss my flight? Get on that. That is the worst. That is the worst. But that's why I go extra early. You don't have to worry about it. I like being there.

What's the worst that happens? I'm at the airport an hour and a half early. Relax. That's why I plan my outfits. I don't have to worry about it. I like being there extra early. What's the worst that happens? I'm at the airport an hour and a half early. Relax. That's why I plan my outfits. So I don't need to think. I just pack, and then I show up, and I know what I'm wearing every day. It's very Steve Jobs.

Yeah, you're very like, I know exactly what I wear every single day. So you're packing, and you're like, and tomorrow, I'll wear whatever Sydney's wearing. Well, I planned my show. Today. Actually, yes. I'll wear whatever Sydney was wearing.

Be coordinated. Be coordinated. I'll be like, what are you wearing? She's like, I'll bring this. Don't need underwear. I'll be Actually, yes. Oh, wherever Cindy was wearing. Be coordinated. Be coordinated. I'll be like, what are you wearing? She's like, I'll bring this. Don't need underwear. I'll be like, cool, that'll be my second show outfit. I don't need underwear. That's so funny.

I'll say, bring underwear for me. Yeah. Thanks. Here's what I wore yesterday. See you at the airport. God. The cape gets so weird. Let's flip it inside out.

Or not. Could you bring a sweatshirt by any chance? Probably done that, actually. I have, I've worn your sweatshirt. Yeah. That was an example based on a true story. Oh. It was? Yeah.

I did wear your sweatshirt, I was cold. Matthew, did you ever wear any of Skid's pants? Pants, have I worn your pants? Not my pants. You must look like a clown if you did. I don't think I did. I think the closest we ever got. Hi kids.

Hi kids. Hi, kids. I wore Joe's hat at Treehouse Brewery because we were sitting in the sun, and I didn't want to burn my balding head. He was in so much pain, and I was like, would you like the hat, man? You're such a true friend.

Was it sweaty? No. It wasn't a hot day. I imagine a sweaty brim from Joe Hat. I've got several hats that had to get just thrown in the trash. Couldn't even donate them. They're so gross. That's the problem with this one here.

It's off white, so I get the little sweat stains there. I got to clean them. Oh, god, dude. Yeah, I might, like, once they get sweat stained, can you clean a sweat stained hat, really? Because I can wash it. Yeah, you can't put it in the wash. That made it worse for me.

Really? Yeah, you might never look the same. It'll make a water stain that you have to put it in the wash. That made it worse for me. Really? Yeah, my dimensions of quality are bad. It'll make a water stain that you have to be very, very careful. You've got to use a particular cleaner for the type of fabric, probably a canvas on that hat. I wasn't listening. I was. Hello.

I have to go. I don't want to hear about your hat theory. Anyway. I wake up and hat theory is a great name for a band. Hat theory. I saw hat theory last night at Irving Plaza. They would play Irving Plaza. Hat Theory.

Well, stay tuned after this quick song from Hat Theory. I grow old, I grow old. I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled. Matthew here to once again mark the passage of time and point out that I am aging as we all are, but I am aging as well. And honestly, after a night out with drinks, I don't bounce back the next day like I used to. So now I have to sometimes make a choice, like I can either go have that night or I

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Remember to head to zbiotics.com slash GCP and use the code GCP at checkout for 15% off. We're back folks, it's October. Wanna thank our sponsors. You got Norse Foundry for all your random number generating needs. Foundry of the Norse. Natural 20 right off the top. Get it out now, Troy.

I'm going to just use that for whatever my first role is. Also Foundry Virtual Tabletop. They just wrapped up their Ember Kickstarter. We're so psyched to be working with them. You had a good time with that. And I've been digging in to Foundry for some upcoming shit. How cool has it been to be like going through these gateway planets or whatever's happening

and have it just, phew, phew, phew, phew. That's very cool. So great. So cool. I don't know if I mentioned this last week, but I didn't know how to do that. And I reached out to, it's a friend of the show who worked on the Gatewalkers module for Foundry.

I was like, Hey, do you know how to do this? It's really easy. Just do this. I'm like, Oh my God, you've opened my eyes. That's awesome. But a lot of cool stuff coming up for Foundry and we would like more sponsors. So if you're watching and you've got a lot of money and you don't know what to do with it, Troy at Glass Cannon Network.

I would love a sponsorship from Botany 500. What's that? They used to provide like all the menswear for game shows and stuff back in the like 80s. Wardrobes provided by Botany 500. Botany 500. I'd love some new jackets, like a nice dinner jacket. Will they give you as like a extra add-on gift,

like the very long pencil microphones? Yes. Because I feel like that'd be good for you. Yeah, you get the Wink Martindale microphone selection. See, you like wearing a jacket at the table, but t-shirt on tour. Matthew likes wearing a button down at the table, jacket on tour.

Yes. Interesting. I wore this shirt for you, by the tour. Yes. Yeah. Interesting. I wore this shirt for you, by the way. I can't see it. I don't have my glasses. Mikey check it out, his head's bleeding. Oh, I love that.

I can't see it. What's it from? It's from Swingers. Oh. It says Mikey check it out, his head's bleeding. We make this joke all the time. Who's at the door? Mikey check it out, his head's bleeding.

I was just reading an oral mystery. I'm gonna make Gretzky's head bleed. Of Swingers. And they talked about like how long it took them to get Gretzky's head to bleed. Really? Yeah, it was great. So I thought about buying this for you, but I thought he would be very uncomfortable. He doesn't like it when he gets gifts, I feel like, because he doesn't, that would be a

sign of friendship. So instead I bought it for myself and wore it when I knew you would see it. I like bourbon and local coffee. Okay. But I would wear that shirt. Local to where? Local to wherever we're traveling. And someone brings me local coffee?

Forget it. So if someone is like, if someone wanted to get you a gift of coffee from, I don't know, Vancouver. Where they're from. And gave it to you here, would you dislike it because it's not local? Well, it was local to them when they bought it. I appreciate that. I appreciate that.

If I buy you coffee from New York, do you consider that nice? Because we live in New York. Single origin? What are you talking about? Oh, God. Now you've ruined it. I thought maybe a Christmas gift and now you're... Why don't you give me the gift and then we'll talk.

What if someone living in Bali were to buy you coffee from New York? Seems like a lot of effort on their part. I would appreciate that. Maybe they really like you. I just want nice coffee. If you like the coffee, ideally it's local. Anyways. Well, coffee is local to somewhere.

To somewhere. You know we're in Portland right now? Oh, yeah. Oh, fun. Kind of. There's a time difference, but... Oh, we're having so much fun. The LA show is two days from tonight. be sold out, but probably not so you should come see us at the pterogram

Usually all of glass cannon nation west is out there. Oh, yeah also We haven't mentioned the 30-day free trial we have for a subscription service Just got to go to join the nash.com and enter the code GCN30 to get 30 days for free of arguably the best subscription service. Thousands. In all of RPG. Thousands of hours.

Entertainment, certainly in terms of volume. The quality is there too. And I'm already thinking about some new shit for 2025. So get in now because this 30-day free trial may not be available next time we speak. Also, thank you for the coffee and the bourbon. What else? I emailed you yesterday. I said, so you bringing a backup? Oh, yeah. Maybe.

Did you make a backup? In his response, I'll tell you what his response was. You read it aloud. I will read it. I'll read it. I was. You read it aloud. I will read it. I think I'll read it aloud. The subject was Ramious Backup. I was nervous for a second. I was like, you bringing in, I said, you ready?

He goes, no, not ready, not even considering it. You read it then? Yeah. And I wrote, dying too with no heeler and no caps. Bold. All caps. So talk to me. Well, here was my thinking.

My thinking, well, first of all, I think I've now changed my opinion on this. I now subscribe to the theory that it is bad luck to create a backup character. You're 100% correct. To have some concepts floating around, sure. But to actually put ability scores on a paper, bad luck. And I also think it's the ships.

I'll, exactly. I also think- Like burning the ships. Exactly. I also think it diverts your attention from, you know, what's important. Focus, you're already kind of considering that character gone. I'm not doing that with Remius. But on top of that, I also believed that if brother Remius died in this episode, considering this situation,

I think everybody's going to die. And so I was like, well, we'll all talk about our new characters and figure out what we're going to all be. Yeah, well, we'll all consult. Why would I put all this work into a backup and then find out I got to play something else based on what everybody else wants to play? I mean, unfortunately, that's not not true just because you are the party's healer.

Yeah, and I don't, you know, it's a very weird situation though. Like this could be super deadly and everybody could die. This also has a lot of Deus Ex Machina stuff to it. You know, it's a very weird situation though. This could be super deadly and everybody could die. This also has a lot of Deus Ex Machina stuff to it. Troy could just decide at any point to pull the chute, everything vanishes and you're fine. Sounds like me. Yeah.

But I mean, the adventure may say it. It may say that after this many rounds, everything disappears. So even if everybody was down, it's possible that we all escape. I don't know. It's a weird situation. But it is tough too, if you are the party, like cleric or healer, and you go down and just you go down, you're kind of locked in.

Like you have to make a new healing type character. Oh yeah. To come in. I think you should make whatever you want, and then someone else will die, and they'll have to, cause that's what sinks one person dies at a time. You feel like you need to make what you made a dupe of what you just made. And I think we should just be chaotic and make what we want.

I mean, that's always sounds good, but this game is not built like that. If you make whatever you want, that's not a cleric. One of us is going to die. Yeah, and then they'll make a cleric. Everybody is going to die. If there's not, if there isn't a powerful healer, I feel like at least in this AP,

I don't feel like, It's been tough. Blood of the Wild doesn't feel like this. It feels so unbelievably deadly every encounter. Every encounter. With some exceptions. Every encounter? Well, some exceptions we've matched.

A large preponderance of the encounter. Yeah, but more often than not, we're like, heal, heal, heal, heal, oh thank God, oh thank God, oh thank God. I mean two characters have died. And not just that, but also like after combat healing. Yeah. So unless I do the same exact build, it's going to be a half a day of heals

after every encounter with anything. Oh, here's an idea. That's what this AP feels like. Here's an idea. What if you do a better build? I can't do better than I'm doing right now. I thought if two of you die, then you would have the option to be like, sorry, you got to be the one.

Oh, that would be so nice of you to kill two of us. We've talked about this. I don't mind being a cleric again. I'm just saying I think that it is kind of essential. We've talked about this because I had a character die. Matthew had a character die. Spoilers. What?

I'm talking about this show. because I had a character die, Matthew had a character die. Spoilers. What? I'm talking about this show. Are you just tuning in now? Somebody's coming in at this episode, and they're like, I have to go back and listen. Why'd you tell me? There's no reason to listen. But I think, you know, I'm not going to make another fighter.

Like, I've already made two adjacent. I made a fighter, and then I made a Magus, who's kind of like a fighter. So hey, if Asta dies. Exactly, but there isn't something that's kind of like a cleric. I made a fighter, and then I made a Magus, who's kind of like a fighter. So hey, if Asta dies. Exactly, but there isn't something that's kind of like a cleric. I mean, kind of it. No, no, no, I'm saying, if you die,

one of us is going to die. And I'll do cleric. I don't care. We'll see. Just do what you want. I don't think he's going to die. I think we're all going to be fine. That's how I'm going into this episode.

Interesting. In. Well, except we encountered a little snag when we realized we were going to have to reroll initiative. Oh. Wait, what? Yeah. Yes.

Yeah. Well, I'm curious what this ruling is going to be. Yes. I've thought about this because between the Yosoke and the gecko and the night gaunt I had you reroll initiative because I think I just feel like you have a moment to react to the new situation and this creature in whatever world you're in also has a moment to react and the speed at which people react Determines how this happens as we switch between the night gaunt skin flesh world to this world with this sort of undead looking creature turning towards you. I feel like that same thing should happen. But there are

some interesting sort of little wrinkles. You're dying. You're dying. You just made me think of something else now. The way that you just described that, I shouldn't roll initiative. But we need to have you in initiative to roll the saves, right? Of course in initiative, but I'm saying I shouldn't roll. I should just default to the last of the round. I'm not reacting to anything. I can't react to anything. You're pretty close to where I'm at.

What were you going to say, Sydney? I was going to say, and when you go to dying in initiative, you go to the end anyway. So maybe, yeah, carry over and you just- It's weird because you don't go to the end technically. You go to right before the creature that put you down. Yeah. So I listened to you- I listened back. You rolled an 18 in the episode. The night gong rolled a 29. So you would have

a 30 initiative, essentially. If that had gone one more round, you would have a 30 initiative. But the sort of, as you mentioned, the spirit of the death and dying rules is that by moving before the creature that put you down, all of your allies have a chance to save you. But the new creature or creatures, situations in this world, that's the X factor. Yeah. So what I've decided is we're going to have people roll initiative and your initiative is going to be zero. Okay.

So that means that everyone will get a chance as well as the creature. You are dying. You have zero chance to sort of react. So you will have an initiative of zero. Shit bird. Let me walk you through what happened again. I think I mentioned this last time, but that sort of grotesque landscape from before, that living planet of skin and hair follicles. Flesh, plane of flesh. Blinked away and was replaced by this dead plane of blackened cratered stone, where the sky once hung overhead is

now only the starry black of space. Nearby cracked bones litter the blasted foundation of a ruined building, and in the distance a delicate palace rises from the rock, its walls formed from giant fused bones. Winds howl into the arch of the Ayodhara from all directions. The first thing you realize upon being transported to this alien world is that there is no atmosphere here. Oh, no. On the surface of this planet. Why didn't you open with that? We're done. We're done. Luckily,

that's a detail you left out. You noticed that you're like something is wrong. Something off the atmosphere in on the skin planet was difficult for you to breathe. Some of you became sickened by it or clumsy from the atmosphere as it was entering your brain and making you heady. While the change here, you feel there is no atmosphere. Maybe those of you who aren't dying start clutching at your chest as you try to breathe. Luckily, whatever is happening with the iodara and these switches between planes or planets don't cause you to immediately asphyxiate or have your head explode.

Perhaps this superposition of worlds is doing something in this little pocket that there's a difference in atmospheric pressure from where you just were, where you are, the original Ayudhara, which is causing sort of this raging wind to suck all of you towards the Ayudhara. So you feel like you can breathe, but all of that mixing together is creating a wind that's pulling you towards the Ayudhara. A vortex.

Like there's a vacuum trying to be filled. Roll for initiative, except for Joe. Hey. Roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll for initiative! Felicia-toot! Felicia-toot! And I did have one action left. I know. I know. That's just gone.

It's gone, yeah. Gone like the raging wind. Gone like the wind being sucked into this gateway. Roll for initiative, of course, always sponsored by Norse Foundry. Get a set of these. Another natural 20! Stop! I have to stop! I have to stop. Oh no. I've rolled out my 20s.

Dude, doing that. Balls! So many balls! Theomachus Barnes, what did you get? Nine. No! Oh no! Hey, higher than zero. Zephyr, what did you get? 19.

Fly away on my 19. Asta in Katsune form. Natural, 20. Oh! There she goes! 25. 25, that means you get three bonus actions. Wow. Just kidding.

That would be awesome. You said your O'Brien kind of thing. That means you automatically kill the creature. Automatically kill the creature. So 25 total. Bug. I got a 22. 22 for Buggles. Name a professional athlete who had the number of 22 on their jersey. 22. Alex English was two. Get two of them. Two Alex Englishes. That had to be a better answer. Ike Davis?

Was he 22? I'm so bad with baseball. Emmett Smith. Wow. Oh, Emmett Smith. You know what, that's so funny. Wow. I was thinking Ezekiel Elliott,

but like actually what I was thinking of was Emmett Smith. You're picturing Emmett Smith. I was like, wait, but I swear it was, yeah, that's so funny. Ike Davis wore 29, if I'm not wrong. Clyde Drexler. Oh, right. Clyde Drexler and Right, it's like in Kershaw. Oh, there's the big three 22 name one more man. I dare you Which of those three were your favorite?

Let me show you did I show you a picture of this horrible thing no Yes, I think the last time you did but let me see it again. Okay. Well first I accidentally deleted it You killed it sweet See my family is a is a gray mess of nothingness. Oh, that's right. You don't see Well, this is what the rest Can you see that What you definitely on the ox what you don't see in this picture? This looks like an old lady that died long ago. It's got this white, flash of white hair, skeletal features, but with like a blue skin sort of clinging to it.

Red eyes, a long robe that is tattered at the edges. Blue hands that end in clawed long fingernails, long bony feet. What you don't see in this image is a long sword in its hand. It will of course go first. Really it was higher than mine. A natural 20. Higher than mine. A hero of the natural 20 also. This rickety-crickety old lady. Didn't even roll a natural 20. Something you guys have yet to realize is that when you're fighting one creature,

they tend to always go first. Especially when the GM rolls natural 20s. He said he didn't even roll a natural 20 and he beat my natural 20. It was only a 19. This is rigged. It was only a 19. Thank you, F FoundryVTT.

I only use your rolling for initiative. All right, so you see this thing. Remember, you mentioned last week that it looked to be like talking to a pile of bones, like having a conversation with it, and then it turned. And its red eyes turn on you. And all of a sudden, sort of like it folds its hands to its chest and bows its head and it starts chanting a low haunting melody almost

like a funeral dirge that you can hear through this like mix in atmosphere everybody including brother Ramious no not doing, must attempt a will save. Will? Will, yes. A sure will emit chesmit save. Chesmit? Cheswit. What?

Cheswick. How dare you soil the memory of that great halfling? It's cool though that Paizo named a save after that character. I don't think we talk about that anymore. There's no Metro save. North Valdry! All right, let's take a walk around the table. We'll end on Sydney because she looks sad. Joe, what did...

Rotheramius, fighting death, 27. 27, pretty good. I rolled also a natural 16, 23. 23, okay. Rolled a natural one. That's why I only have one bottle cap and I feel like I should just save her for when I die because I could use it and then roll a two.

Okay. I'm pretty sure I critically failed as well. I got a 10. Pretty sure I also critically failed. I got a 14. I revised my estimation of our chances. Alright. The two of you... Can't we just go to the North Pole?

Yeah, can we go... I just wanted to go to the North Pole. Can't we go fight the whales? I wanted to fight Santa. When are we gonna fight Santa? We're not even gonna get our chance. It's still October. You two succeeded. You are frightened one. Okay. Sydney, you failed. You did not critically fail. You were frightened two. Asta and Buggles critically failed. They are frightened two and are going to take a minus two penalty to a saving throw

against something this creature can do. Okay, I just want to say, so we know I'm not cheating or anything. My invigorating fear takes action because somebody gained the frightened condition within 60 feet of me. So I gain temporary hit points equal to their level, or three or higher. So basically I get three. Three temporary HP. Yet again, profiting off of others frightened.

Yes, yes. Sick, sick character. And Asta starts laughing. Am I still clumsy? Matthew or the character? Character. Matthew is definitely still clumsy, and I can tell you a story about that later. But for now. No regalus. How do you lose the clumsy condition? Clumsy, clumsy always includes a value.

It was forced upon us by conditions that were happening on the other planet. Yeah, so when it's just losing. forced upon us by conditions that were happening on the other planet. Yeah, so wouldn't he just lose it? Oh, right. It was, I was it the... It was the atmosphere that made you clumsy, right? No, obviously here. Let me see what the, the, the link of that is. Do you remember if you were...

I was Clumsy 1. Clumsy 1. As am I. Are you still clumsy? It was the atmosphere from the previous planet that made you clumsy. There was no duration on it, so I'll say that this change in atmosphere is enough to remove clumsy from you. You're able to breathe.

Well, breathing is still a situation. Well, I'm just scared. Now you're just, you're not feeling great. All right, so it's little song there was two actions. What was the song? Yeah, it was like a little funeral dirge. And then it's going to be I'm glad we couldn't hear it because there's no atmosphere.

Boom! So are we frightened? Mentioned that on the, when I Yeah, but you mentioned that it is on the other side of some kind of atmosphere, right? It's within this whatever's happening here this sort of space time anomaly you're all within it with this final action it closes on bugles then the wind takes effect everybody roll a fortitude zhish come on as the vacuum of space pulls you towards the iudara pulls you towards the iudara i'd like you to raise your die as well come on man would

you stop glimmer enough already no 22 for ramie's fighting hard 22 for ramie's 10 for Barnes. Caitlin Stamos. Zephyr, 16. 16 for Zephyr. Asta. 11 Zs. Yikes. Buggles. 14.

14. If anyone thought conditions were going to change, if not. If not. I just want to go to the North. Paul, I just want to go to the north. Still have a chance. Paul! I just want to go to the north. I just want to kill Santa.

There are a lot of things happening here. Is this funny? It's so ridiculous. But suffice it to, let me just make sure. Can we do that thing where we write down, we scramble the values of our die, so like a one is a seven and we just do it randomly. That way it's not quite so devastating. So randomize the random number generators? Exactly. Here's what happens. Ramius, you are fine. You got enough going on.

You used up my two successful recovery chests to stabilize. That's right. The law of averages means your next roll is going be- Yeah, no, no, I'm just gonna die, no. Asta, you get pulled towards the Ayodhara, and you are stunned one. Oh no. Zephyr and Barnes, where you are already adjacent to the Ayodhara, you stay there, you become stunned two. Oh my gosh.

Buggles, you get pulled towards the Ayodhara. Oh no. Okay. And you're stunned one. Okay. So A Bugles, you get pulled towards the Ayodhara. Oh my god. Okay. And you're stunned one. Okay. So Asta- But I rolled a 16. And Bugles, yeah, that's failure. Asta and Bugles, you are stunned one,

where you're already adjacent to the Ayodhara. The condition is you become stunned two. Ooh. So if, for example, Asta and Bugles, well, I don't need to give you any hints. But yeah, so once again, Barnes and Zephyr stunned two. Yeah, you start the next turn with one less, or two less jump. What are you talking about?

How long am I stunned to? You just lose two actions and then it's over. It is. But I'm sure you have to roll this every round. Yeah. I don't know if it was a one-time suck. It tears, yeah. But I'm sure you have to roll this every round. Yeah. I don't know if it was a one-time suck. It seems like an ongoing suck. The suck is so ongoing.

It's the best kind. Continual suck. Asta, you are up. You have two actions. Time for a long suck. All right. You don't want it to go on too long. Yeah, that's true.

That's true. Where we at with TPK? You think so? Stop. 100%. 100%. I think we have a chance. That's usually a good sign when Joe says 100%.

When one of you says 100% TPK. I just think actions are important. They might be the most important single thing you have, and they're being stripped away. So we got 100% from Joe. Who's dead? Me having one action next turn definitely increases the odds for Ramius' death.

We making bets? Which in turn. The bet is yes or no. Stunned makes it bad for Ramius. Okay, we're at 198. We're not gonna die. Oh, 0%. 0%. I like it. Passed. 50, we're at 198. We're not gonna die. Oh, 0%. 0%.

I like it. I like it. Sid? 50-50. 50%. Safe. Safe. Safe bet, very agnostic bet.

Skye, what do you sit? I don't make bets. Never tell me the odds. Never tell me the odds. I put it all on green. Put it all on green? Okay. What are you gonna do with your two actions?

I'm gonna use my two actions to do a spell. I can't really do anything else. So I am going to... You got some conditions there, right? You are, says you're prone. That's not true. That's not true. I'm up.

I'm gonna remove that. I am... Wait, were you prone though? Previously? On the... If you were prone, on the last planet, you would be prone now. I can shoot a spell from the ground. Yes, you were prone.

Was I prone? What knocked me down? You jumped up to try to help Ramius and then fell back down. Oh, you're right. You are prone. You retain that command. I don't remember if you then got up from that, but I seem to remember you staying prone. I would have assumed I... Shooting a spell or something. You didn't mark it on your sheet because it affects your stamp

I'm not prone anymore on my sheet. I thought oh, so I do yeah, so she you must Got enough. I think I got up anyway I'm you should pretty good about removing conditions. I have stunned on all right I'm gonna do ignition. Okay. I'm gonna shoot some fire at the creature. Oh man, come on, come on Sydney, come on Asta. They need this. Fuck, I dropped it, but it's fine. Oh, now Troy loves that. That's his favorite.

Dude, people don't like the way you play. That I know for sure. It fell out of my hand. Skin washed it. It was almost a natural one. And you would have re-rolled it. You would have re-rolled it. No, no.

It would have been crap. That's my fault. That's, yeah, that's my fault. OK, so that's going to be 22 to hit. 22 to hit. That is a hit. OK, it's not that much damage. OK, what to hit. 22 to hit. That is a hit. Okay, it's not that much damage. Okay, what kind of damage is it? Fire. Fire, fire.

How about a little fire, dead lady? Eight points of fire damage. Eight points of fire damage. Maybe she's weak to fire. And Asta yells. Or maybe fire is weakened in this low atmosphere. Oh, well, I sure hope not. That sounds like a scientific answer.

Such a bummer. Joe, shut. It just relies on those rules. Shut Joe, Brian. TPK. Asta yells out, though, to Aleli, we have to get out of here. And she's like shooting the fire from the ground,

looking at Ramious, looking around. So you are on the ground. Such an amazing image. I don't know. I just. Nice cave. So you are on the ground. Such an amazing image. I don't know. I just. Nice key. So you are on the ground. She's one knee down, one knee down on the ground.

Not prone. She's squatting. That's a little compromise and say that she's squatting. She's squatting. She's like, hold on, hold on, I'm trying to fix it. And you look up at the shade wither key that Zephyr hung above the arch and it's starting to deteriorate.

No. Oh no. That seems bad. It's Shadewithering. It's Shadewithering. Boom. Boom. Bottlecap.

Buggles. It started with a B. All right, Buggles is going to do a melee ignition. Okay. It's like, look at us. You got two actions and you're going to use use them both for the ignition. I don't imagine that's a, that's a 15.

15 is a miss for me, but you no longer stunned. Oh, great. Zephyr stunned dose. Let's see. With my one action. You can do a lot with one action. Where I'm not trained in medicine. I feel like.

I forgot you're going to die. Yeah. Like the most useful thing I could do with one action is like somehow help Remius, but I can't do that. So maybe just like. Oh my god. I didn't even see this. So it goes you and Barnes.

Yeah. And you both have one action and it's these two actions. Sky Sage guidance? Yeah, I'm just, would it make sense to cast guidance on Barnes? Or hit the creature? I'm not near it.

I'm one space away. So I need to move up to it. If I'm gonna use my hands. You don't have your bow and arrow. I would take such a negative to it because I'm within the volley. You could pull a potion off of Barnes' belt and hand it to him.

That's two actions, two actions. That's right. Feels like. Yeah. You could, you actually, there is a scroll on my belt. I mean, it's still. But it's still, yeah. She could pull it out for you.

But then he only has one action to interact. What guidance help? He she can't hold the scroll up. Helping you with something help? To your eyes. No, it's not a save Ramius. Read it. What action?

Status bonus attack, perception, saving throw. A saving throw, could I give guidance to Ramius? No, it's like a mini-gaming's player. No, it's not a saving throw. I mean, you could give guidance to any of us to deal with the environmental effects. Or to Asta or Buggles for attacking the creature. If we get another round.

If we get another round, I'll do. Maybe to Buggles, he's close. Er. Yeah, I don't wanna do a knowledge check because I'm negative on everything right now because of Frightened, so I'll do do guidance for, who goes next? Asta. Okay.

Guidance for Asta. Hey, no longer stunned. I'm sure you'll pass that save again. Next round. Barnes, you have one action you are stunned to. You look down and you see Ramius unconscious, bleeding from a 30 foot drop, 60 foot drop? 60 foot drop. 60 foot drop. Bah! His body should be hanging from a 30 foot drop 60 foot drop 60 foot 60 foot

his body should be hanging from a top the arch yeah they like hit there and then it is just flopped this flight's like hanging right his head is right in front of my head give him a spider-man kiss reaction drop the crossbow that I picked up Barnes is plus one crossbow. Okay, it gets sucked into the Eidar and explodes. Oh no. What a horrible look. Wait, what?

Just splintered. Shagaga! It's gone. You see the rune like. Eee! Magical crossbow, wind can break it. And I will pull a scroll off my belt. Okay.

You know. And that's it? I have one action. We've had these moments several times throughout the first 55, now episode 55, good number. Twice it has ended poorly. But usually it works out. Dying two, only a critical failure.

A one or a two, because you have to hit at least a 12. Two. 11. You're dying two right now. Yes. So it's, oh, you have a thing that makes you. Okay, so only a natural one. Only a natural one. Would kill you.

And that's never happened. Anything a 10 or under. It's not the time or the place. A 2 to 10 brings you to dying 3. Correct. You know, you don't know what this creature is going to do next round. You don't know how this wind is going to affect the stun conditions of these people. Let's go to the other end of the spectrum.

Critical success brings you to dying 1. Buys you a lot of time. No, stabilizes me. Oh, that's right. Yeah, cuz you're dying to already in my head had you a time three. Okay, you're ah Hubert where's Hubert in the initiative? Oh, yeah fucker doing right? Why is his stun? I know he's he's actually flanking the... Look where Hubert is. He's flanking. If Hubert hadn't succeeded on his save, he could have handed me the scroll. I did not... Wait, he was flanking for a Bubbles attack.

Did you add that? I did not roll a will save for Hubert. Did you add that? Uh... Hubert failed. Uh, so Hubert gets pulled just south of the... That was for frightened. Oh, for the... now do a will save

I'm now to a fortitude save for the stunned all right so he's frightened he's afraid he's afraid and he still might be fortuitous natural six oh no Hubert's hat is blowing off from the wind oh no my hat! sounded just like it all right so he still gets pulled towards and he's My hat! My hat! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha So we know better. But it's more interesting. He was just like, hey, hey, hey. More interesting. Didn't I have a John Jamsky on my belt or anything? I don't have a... Wouldn't Hubert move toward us anyway to help out? He's petrified.

He's petrified. No, I don't have a... He's petrified. Hoosh. You mentioned a dance ex. I can't have Hubert be a dance X for you here. I need you to at least go through this. Just don't roll natural one.

I love Brother Ramious. The fans love Brother Ramious. Yeah. But I love this crazy son of a bitch. All right. Okay, come on Joe. Are you high right now? No.

Are you high right now? No. Um. Norse Foundry. For all your random number generating jaunts. I'm not gonna watch this. How about a natural 20? I wanna watch. How about a nat 20?

You know what? I can nat 20. Let's take a quick break. No! You filthy bastards. I'm actually gonna kick her. I'm actually going to kick her! Oh my God! I'm actually going to kick her!

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Visit BetterHelp.com slash GCN today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp H-E-L-P dot com slash GCN. We're back. That's betterhelphelp.com slash GCN. We're back. Joe. All right. Here we go. Not looking. Recovery check for Brother Ramious.

The test. Yeah. This recovery check is brought to you by Norse Foundry. By the way, this check, the at dying two. Just call it. Over and natural one can kill you. Is what has killed all the characters yes, that's true there are 20 different options. They were never dying three Show has ever been dying. I've never seen dying for it. Yeah, we don't look into the face of death right now roll it Eleven oh

11. Oh! You did it! On the dot! You did it! Dying one, baby! You did it! Dying one. Woo!

Oh, I don't know! Oh, the freedom! Oh, I've never been so happy for an 11. Well, that's a good thing. This is never bad. Nidaleen result. Wow. Okay.

Joyously mediocre. Yes. OK. Joyously mediocre. Yes. Now, I am assuming that frightened does not affect my role. I don't think it does. I believe by definition, flat checks cannot be modified by anything. I don't think so.

So I'm just saying, I didn't forget I'm frightened. I'm just doing it correctly by not. So how could you be, how could you frightened to have a mechanical effect on your role? You know how many times this comes up and annoys the shit out of me? Yeah, it's interesting. Cause you were saying, I kind of give guidance.

You're like, oh, that's a, it's basically a mini game over here. You're confused. The frightened can just always prove that you take a status penalty equal to this value on all of your checks and DCs. Yeah, but a flat check is not modified. It's not a check.

It's a check, but it's not modified. A flat check never includes any modifiers, bonuses or penalties. That's what I thought. Says sexy guy 14 on Reddit. I trust him. D&D 5-E player, sexy guy 14. I'm reading the text from the- Core rule book. Core rule book. Not playerD 5e player sexy guy. I'm reading the text I am reading text from the core rule book not player core one-zone

Okay, but I don't think they changed the concept of flat checks in the remaster. I will pull up the player core Please don't Please don't it's a settled law Yeah, I think you're fine. Okay, great. I just wanted to say I didn't ignore it. Stop Googling, Matthew. He said it's fine.

Stop trying to find a way where he's not fine. Stop. I found another thing here. Stop it. No! This is the Google AI, of course, which... It's wrong. Don't blow up that.

Yes, the frightened condition Pathfinder 2E affects all checks and DCs, which includes... No, don't listen to the AI. Like, I'm actually serious. Dying in DCs which includes... Dying saves. Don't listen to the AI, like I'm actually serious. Dying saves is not a term. You sound like a robot. You sound like a robot. The robot takes things, smashes it together. You sound like sexyguy69 from Reddit.

And gives you an okay sounding answer. Matthew, what do you got? I've got a D- a flat check here is defined in player core page 456. A D20 roll that measures pure chance. A flat check can't have any modifiers, bonuses, or penalties applied to it. You said he was playing a mini game. And it is a flat check?

Me being frightened has nothing to do with the luck of whether or not I survive, right? Yes. I can't believe the Google AI was wrong. No. Yeah. Now here's the question. Is the death save a flat check?

Is that considered a flat check? Or is that considered? It's a flat check with a DC equal to 10 plus your dying value. Look at that, I just quoted that right off the top of my head zoning. You sound so smart. It is a recovery check.

Which is different than a, ah no. When you're dying, attempt a recovery check at the start of each of your turns. This is a flat check with a DC equal to 10. I like digging into it because at least we know we got it right. And I know you'd be pissed if your life turns out- Well, I already did this and I thought I was right. I just want to- I think people might be listening and somebody might think-

It's good to learn though. He was frightened! He should be dying three! That's a big difference. I did think about it and I think that we're doing it right Historically when we dig into things we don't generally get more clarity. No And what I mean a huge thing for you to be right on the fucking razor's edge right on the razor's edge Round two it is this undead horrors turn now I mentioned that bugles it takes a minus two against us for a saving throw against an ability this thing has, and just based on the placement of everything, the creature takes its longsword and swings at Bugles.

Natural 20. No, stop. No, no. That's not fair. It's not. What's the ability? Why does Bugles have a two? Well, that was just a swing,

but now let's see what happens. The good thing is, I don't believe it's considered, it's not a named character, okay? So it's gonna be double damage. It doesn't matter. We're third level. I mean, the rocks, so many rocks. So many rocks.

Maximum damage. Fuck you, man, he's just great. It's gonna be 30 points. Maximum damage. Fuck you, man. This is great. It's gonna be 30 points of slashing damage. Okay. Hope you're having fun. And then, you know, I was gonna, well, I won't say it right now. And then I need you to roll

a fortitude save with a minus two. Okay, I'm gonna fail that. I would have failed it even without the minus two. Yeah, but minus two. Yeah. The level of failure is important here. 16. 16. Oh that doesn't sound like a critical fail to me. You become drained one as it drains the life from you. Classic. Was that void damage? It's just a condition drain one. Essentially the damage was just slashing damage. Yeah, the damage is slashing damage. And then this one, which takes away HP.

Yeah, it takes away HP and it takes away your max HP. Yeah, I'm in bed shape. Trying to find any triggering effects. Yeah, but you can get it back, right with like 24 hours of rest, right? Like each drained point, I feel like. Right? I don't think the rest and when that's coming back

is the concern, right? I'm not all that concerned about that. Yeah, that's fair. It also, it is confident in a 24 hour opportunity to rest. It is stealing life from Buggles, so it gets hit points as it does that. It drains the life from Buggles. So you take 30 points of damage plus another, what I say, plus your level, right? For drained.

Yeah. I mean, I think you get the sense, the mini game that we're playing here is like, we're not gonna kill the creature. So like, I feel like we have to- Just have to stay alive. Until we teleport again. Until we shift away. Yeah.

Be for yourself, I'm gonna kill this creature. That's fine, I mean- You got guidance. You know, taking its attention is survival. Guidance. Guidance, you got guidance. The only reason I'm not dying right now is because I had some temporary HP from my frostbite attack in the last fight. Wow. That's it.

So you are right at the end. Yeah. Second action, it takes a step over, right under Buggles. And then with a third and final action, it swings at Zephyr with the map. Not at Huber. No, not at Huber. Who is flanking it. Of course not.

Who is flanking it. Oh and just double confirming that the drain is not an action. It gets that on any swing, any hit that just for free gets to drain. Redrain. That's a good, I'm gonna look that up. It doesn't have the action John on here, but let me just make sure It's just kind of wild that it's not a natural attack and it has this drain for free It's pretty wild that it wouldn't be like yeah into a that tends to be another action when you get something like that, but

When I look at the text for yeah, no, it doesn't have the action thing as well as everything else does. I tried Zephyr. Yeah, no, it's worth trying. And listen, you might be right, but we gotta move on. We gotta do our answer time. We'll find out between episodes when we start a new adventure path. Here is a attack on you with the map.

Natural 20 is still a natural 20 though. That might be a crit. That is gonna be a 27. Not a crit, even with all my negatives. Regular hit. Okay, nice. Regular hit, even with all your negatives. 13 points of slashing, and then I need a fortitude save. Let me do 13 damage a fortitude save. Let me do 13 damage fortitude save.

Eight. It's a critical failure. Now what's interesting here is in the text of drain life, it doesn't say you become drain two on a crit, which is strange usually the critical failure, like if it was a basic save, but it doesn't use the a basic save, but it's not a basic. It doesn't use the word basic save or anything. It just says you make a save or become drained one.

And then it says something else that doesn't relate to this. So I'm just going to make you drained one. Yesterday, I had decided differently, but I think you need all the help you can get. So yeah, you are drained one as well. So throw the old drain condition and now the wind whips through the hollows. It's almost beautiful. You weren't in this terrible situation. Everybody roll. The fortitude save. And you should know that the creature is unaffected by this as a native.

But it's the Ayudhara that's generating this. Yeah, it just says that the creature is unaffected by it. So I tend to go by that Such horse shit that this thing wouldn't be stunned by this What did I get 20 24 he's made up Good like that sounded like a I'm not that familiar with the game, but whenever somebody says 20 everybody celebrates 20 24 14 14. 20. 20, 24. 14.

14. Dirty 20. Dirty 20. 11. 11. Okay. What was that? 14?

11. All right, so Asta, Barnes, and Ramious success. Unfortunately, Zephyr and Buggles are stunned too again. So success is... Success unaffected. Unaffected. Oh, great. Huge. Unfortunately, Zephyr and Bugles are stunned too again. So success is... Success unaffected. Unaffected. Oh great.

Huge. That's huge, actually. Um, that's interesting. Did anybody crit fail last time? I don't think I said crit fail. Oh, I said you guys crit fail. I didn't crit fail. I got a 16 last time.

I got higher. I did. Oh, you were stunned too because you were next to the Ayadara. Yeah. No, you crit failed? Yes. That's oh you were stunned too because you were next to the Iodara. Yeah, but no you crit failed That's why I was I was stunned too. Okay You fall prone from that failure, so you should be prone Will not matter. Yeah, it will matter. I just do that on there because yeah now you're actually on a level with Barnes. You're welcome But Zephyr and Buggles are stunned too.

Oh my god! Stunned too and drained one. I always say this is the best condition to have because when you sit down at a table to play a game with your friends, the main thing you wanna do is not anything. Is play less. Is to do is not anything. Play less.

Play less. Do not do anything. Don't we have those antidotes? Stop it. You're doing an impression of me. Pretty good. I look at a spreadsheet that's not a character sheet from three months ago and find a.

Gabe was right to bring the blanket. It's a game where you cozy up and just kind of sit and not play your character. Nervous. Before Asta's turn, a man in a tuxedo appears with a plaque and hands it to you. To me? Yep. It says, you win. This is the most conditions on your party.

Wow! All right. Wow. Congratulations. She holds it up. We all got that. Wow, all right. Wow. Congratulations. She holds it up. We all got that. I didn't even know I was nominated. How? I won tonight.

What a surprise. Oh. She tucks that into her dress, and I'm gonna add that to my character sheet. So many conditions. What's the plaque made of? Most conditions. What's it made of?

Gold! She's gonna use it as a weapon at some point. It melted down. You're not stunned, right? Nope. You succeeded, so you are not stunned. That is you. Actually, did I?

I was only- Success, the creature is unaffected. Yeah, so you're good. I was only stunned one, I'm done. Succeed, this is just fucking enormous. I believe in you. Here is, it's my turn, yes? Yes.

All right, I'm ready to absolutely destroy. Do I can I move somehow adjacent to the character without like is there a way to walk through my friends spaces? Like I just don't know on this map if you can walk through your allies spaces. You can't walk through the enemy space. So you're trying to get to that space to the right. You run the risk of provoking, but you haven't seen her use that ability. Yeah, I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna, and also Zephyr and Bugles are stunned right now and she can't really do anything for them

and they're kind of like frozen. So she's just gonna try to weave between them and then slide down diagonally along this platform we're on to get next to the creature. Smart, you're there. And it didn't do anything. Awesome. She is going to, with her katana, spellstrike. Okay, so second and third action, or is that one action? It's two actions together. So I am going to swing.

I mean, this is enormous. Come on. And I'll tell you what spell I'm doing at the same time. I'll do a, oh, I wonder, undead. Do you think gouging claw, do you think bleed matters to undead? No. Absolutely not. But it's still my highest damage dealing spell. I can do melee.

So you know what, I'll still do Gouging Claw, it's fine. But it might have resistance to slashing damage. Well, it's not a skeleton, right? It's like a zombie-ish. It has skin. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, then maybe you're fine. Okay. I'm gonna do my Gouging Claw.

I'm swinging my katana. Two-handed. Okay, come on. Come on, Asta. You're so strong. Okay, yep. 26 to hit. With the plus one for the... Oh, with the plus one from guidance, 27 to hit.

Hit. Okay. So that's gonna be... Standard hit. Okay, don't make it, don't make it sound bad. It was fun and cool. Max, so that's 14 points slashing with my katana and here comes the Gouging Claw slash damage. That's gonna be, is there any pluses on that spell?

I don't think so. That's gonna be, no, so it's 10 slashing plus three persistent bleed if it's able to take bleed. Okay, you know, we ran into this in Psych West side sesh with Champ Kindly. Champ Kindly! So it's 10 slashing plus three persistent bleed if it's able to take bleed. Okay. You know, we ran into this in Psych West Side Session with Champ Kindly. Champ Kindly! The skeleton was not immune to bleed.

Well, the PC skeleton. Like typically monster skeletons are immune to bleed, but they said transferring that to a player is overpowered as an ability. It's one of those things that drives me crazy where it's just game balance and makes no sense otherwise. Yeah. Well, this creature has plenty of immunities,

but bleed is not one of them. Oh, it's possible it could have, you know, it's black venesium in the core. Oh, heck yeah. Okay, cool. So yeah. So three persistent bleed. Yep.

All right. Plus all the slashing damage. How's it looking? Great. With the energy that it healed from striking Zephyr and Bugles, you think it may live forever. I made a mistake. What?

I should have told you to hold. Why? You'll see in a minute. Are you going to hit me with a big spell that's going to hurt me? No. Well, it's interesting. It's Bugles' turn. Let's give him his action, and then it's Z Zephyr's turn and then it's your turn.

Yeah, hold for... That's all right. It's Joe and Matthew have been talking. You guys have been whispering my whole turn. And I want to know. I'm dying to know but it's Bugles turn. Maybe you missed it but my turn was actually cool and I did some cool damage. You surely pay attention to your friend's turn. That's why I should probably hold. They were only concerned about their turns. Yeah, clearly. Guys, Buggles is everywhere. One action, we'll be quick. I, yeah.

So I'm not even going to bother unleashing the Kula Khan. There's no point. So I'm, he's, and he's like reeling. He is, he's stunned. And so he just like presses his fingers to his temple and unleashes another Sigh burst, please. Give me a reflex save a reflex save from cyburst 17 that's a fail nice three points of damage

And that's mental bludgeoning bludgeoning. Okay, three points of bludgeoning damage with a sigh burst You no longer stunned Okay, three points of bludgeoning damage. With a sigh burst. You're no longer stunned. You are drained. But I will be again. You will be again. Guaranteed. Zephyr.

With Zephyr's single action, now that this undead whore is right next to her. You're going to attack it? An undead whore? You're going to attack and hold. Why? Because I'm about to, because I am trying to save people's lives here.

And if I- Can you share with the class what you want to do? He's going to do the spell scroll he has. Can you trust him? No. Okay. I'm going to cast Heal, but now because Buggles is so hurt,

I'm going to do the three action burst heal. And the creature was at full HP, so it wasn't going to make a difference. And- But it should, Shouldn't it hurt? It'll hurt it hurt it was on dead Yeah, don't you have to choose to cast the defense? I don't not in two e I don't think I don't think it's I think it'll just take the void damage

Yeah, confirm that and then vitality doing away vitality damage. I want to hold 25 seconds you don't have to hold. It doesn't matter at all. But if that's true. Yeah, I'm sure. Well, it doesn't. It's not going to heal the creature. Certainly not going to heal the creature. This creature must heal from void damage.

It just gets a save. Right, and the DC is your class DC. I have something really cool I can do, actually, with my one action. You can still get through it. I can do it. Do your cool thing. With her one action, she's going to cast inner upheaval her focus spell. It's not new it's just

renamed in the remaster and I haven't been using that new name. I think it was key strike before with her 50 fists. So it's a flurry of blows so I get two chances with a plus one bonus. Oh my god let me go to where my fists are my weapons. Yeah get a plus one bonus. Oh my God, let me go to where my fists are, my weapons. Yeah, I get a plus one bone on your attacks with the strikes and the strikes deal out an extra 1d6 damage. 26 for the first hit. Wow, hit! And then the second one, the second one is 19.

Miss. Miss, okay, so I hit with the one, so that means I do, uh. Do an extra one D6 damage and you can choose the damage type. I know, I know. So I do two D6. I would choose boy. No, I'm gonna do Vitality. Yeah. Don't spoil.

Okay, hold on. So extra D6, so three fucking points of damage, but one point of that is Vitality damage. All right, so what's the total damage? Three points total. Okay. Damn it. Three points total damage.

How many D6's did you roll? Two D6's I rolled two and a one. So the one is vitality damage. And then I need you to roll a... where is it again? Powerful fists. Stunning fists? Stunning fists, right? Or is that only with blows?

Stunning blows, sorry, it's a new name, so. When I do Flurry of Blows, you need to make a Fortitude save. Either strikes hit and deal damage fortitude save. Okay and this has the does it have the incapacitation trait? No it only has the monk trait stunning blows. Stunning blows oh I think I failed. Stunning fist? It's called stunning blows in the remaster. Oh, gotcha. What were you doing that had the incapacitation, I can't remember now.

Stunning. What? I thought it was stunning, but. Oh yes, stunning blows is an incapacitation of. Oh, it doesn't have it on my sheet. Yeah, so you'd have to critically fail. Well, let me see, I did roll pretty poorly. It's a 15 regular fail Okay, but you still do the damage yep, he's over the damage finally your guys's turn

I know you guys want to talk so much over there guys are talking guys are really Chatting chatting telling tales after school what's going on over there? I want to tell the class, you know if we hadn't if you hadn't called it out in this audio medium, no one would have ever had to know. There are several cameras. They're surrounded by cameras. They weren't pointing at us. Francis would take care of us in post-production. I imagine he's gonna cut to you guys, just like, kibitz it, like, what's going on with it?

Because that's foreshadowing. It's just not very nice when not everyone's listening to your turn. Sorry, Francis. Your creativity has been hemmed in because everyone has called out, and now you have to cut to it. I'd watch the edit and be like, can we see more of Matt and Joe being whispering? Rude! I was trying to save time.

Rude! Oh, it's your turn. Hey, Sydney. Hi. Oh, yeah, do it. Underwear, underwear. I have underwear. Underwear, underwear, underwear, underwear.

Wanna change underwear at lunch? What are you have for lunch? Oh, do you wanna share? That's exactly what we were saying. She's so crazy. We do share clothes on recording days too. It's true, it's true. It's good, Joe.

All right, what do you wanna do? From the ground. From the ground, you're pro. From the ground. The ground, you're pro. The ground, you're pro. Fawstance up and does a dance. What is wrong with this? No, do? From the ground. From the ground, you're pro. From the ground. From the ground, you're pro. Fox dance, up and down, dance. What is wrong with you? No, I stay on the ground.

I'm holding a scroll. That is a scroll of heal. Okay. Barnes is a scroll thaumaturge as well. Where'd you get the scroll? I bought it with my starting wealth. With your money. Money.

When you built this character. Yes. Okay. He's going to spend all three actions to cast heal and do a burst. Which should get everyone, including the creature who has to roll Fortitude Save. The creature who, yes, has Void Healing. So, Fortitude Save is going to be a 28.

That is a critical success. Great. Why, but hey, you get to hail your friends. I think this is what we were talking about. Scroll Thaumaturgy allows you to cast a scroll from any traditional As you run your spell list, but you use your class DC instead of the scrolls DC Doesn't matter in this case. He crit succeeded not if it were what it says on my sheet I think that what's listed on my sheet is the scrolls DC not my class

What is your class? Your class DC is not higher than 18. It says 19 on the on the scroll DC. Yeah, but what is your class? What is your class DC? Pretty sure it's 17. Okay, so that's all that matters. Yeah. Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's it's 18. Is charisma the main ability of a Thaumaturge? The key ability and you have a plus four? I'm trained so it should be 10 plus 3 plus 4, 17. 10 plus 3 plus 3, 17, yeah. So you don't worry about your Eoxian friend. I'm not. No, no, I was trained as plus 2. Matthew.

Plus 2, so it would be 18. How much healing did you do, Matthew? Everyone gets one point of healing. Oh! That can't be right. Good job. That's not right. Good job.

Was it 1 die? 1d8. Well, even if the creature critically failed against that, you only would have done one point of damage. I can't be right. What's up? What's up? I was a one die one day Well, even if the creature critically failed against that you only would have done one point of damage You are no longer dying, but you're wounded too because you already wounded one. I Was hmm. I don't I have wounded on you. I don't believe die. Oh, yeah, I died in the creatures grasp Oh, yeah, yeah So but you're no longer dying, you're just wounded too, and a crit will take you to permanent death. And a crit will take you to permanent death. Yeah.

Single hit point. Yeah, feel great. I feel better. Thank you. Thank you, Bob. And the spell disintegrates into dust in my hands. And the spell disintegrates into dust. How do you?

In your hands. How do you cope with this? Oh, you see all my rage. I mean, it's all in there. Rage is very unhealthy. Is there another strategy? I'm very unhealthy. If there is, he has not discovered one. I'm very unhealthy.

Are we still frightened? Oh, no, that's a fright. I forgot that when I hit it with my fist, it actually takes 1d6 plus three, and I just gave you the dice. Ah so I'll take another 3 damage. It takes another 3 points of damage. Okay.

And it's... so it's... No it's very very strong. Alright Barnes that was 3 actions you're still lying down. Ramius I changed your elevation because I still had you 60 feet up and look you dropped under the arch. Isn't that fun? I haven't looked at the map because I couldn't see anything. Oh now I can see everyone around me I still think it's fun to happen so I have them just kind of hinged over the top

I like it. Did he hit it and just flopped off? Hits it and then just like flip And you're dying three Broken ribs ramius you are unconscious or do you have no I want hip point so I wakes up You have three actions in one hip way Keep a protect us and this is the first time you're seeing this plan. Yeah, exactly He doesn't even know what's going on, but looking up and around for a moment. Ooh Tricky, I think he's just gonna I

Think he's just gonna blast off a three action heal. The same thing Barnes just did. And it is his last heal. This is it. Zed. Oh, bad for several reasons. I just think it's so insane. If I'm not mistaken, the design of this was that you fight the dragon and then without a long rest, you do this. Right? I'm not mistaken. The design of this was that you fight the dragon. And then without a long rest, you do this. Right?

All of this. Like that was the design. Could have rested after Dragon fight. I don't. I believe a lot of rushed us into. Yeah. The things started. We had a couple hours, but like, she was setting up. You could have taken the rest.

I mean, you got, I don't think you could take an eight out. You could do whatever you want. She was like... We couldn't have rested. I think we spent all of our time, all that time healing. And also then the dragon showed up. No, this was after the dragon and before the telescope. After the dragon fight, you could have rested.

You didn't request it. We just healed. Oh, she was rushing us. She was like, something could come out. We have to go. She did mention that. All right So it's not by design. It was a Troy. Detroit. No, she just said you know, you do what you want We're in the middle of the jungle. Yeah, that's not what you said Well, and also I didn't see this epic comic. I've been oath-danting you since day one

Hate that kid. All right, three action heal. Keep up protectors. And it'll burst out to everyone, including the creature. So I'll need another one of those fortitude saves. Fortitude save, ooh, I think I failed the fortitude save. In fact, I know I did, it might even be a critical. Crash ass!

I rolled a 15. You take four points of damage. Everybody heals. Four! Hit points. It's better than... You get it too. You get it too.

Yeah. Yep. Yep. This isn't funny, you guys. Can you be serious right now? You too Those be pretty serious Really mad

Just sucks to suck all the time all the time I'm trying to decide if it would suck worse if we like this is our our life This is our job is what we do and we have to be bad Yeah, all the time random numbers you were so scared remus Just gonna die this world 13 you're so scared who's gonna die and now you're like this fucking shitty character I really wanted to help you guys out Would it be worse if this is just something we did for fun and we were equally as bad at rolling And it was our leisure time. Yeah, it's not so bad sucking at your job. Who cares? Of round three.

Top of round three! We better teleport to a sea of tranquility. I'm so happy that I can't stop crying. Longsword coming at Asta's face. You know what? I also think it's goddamn ridiculous that every single time we randomly teleport somewhere, there's always some evil ass thing right there. What are the odds?

Like why couldn't we teleport? Way stronger than that. Like a hospital. No chance? Like a children's party or something. Or just like, it's a dog. Like a Quaker meeting or something. Quaker meeting.

Oh hello, well you hungry? Like you know? An adoption center. There's a Quaker meeting. Oh, hello. Well, you hungry? Like, you know? An adoption center. There's a lot of kittens.

Yes. A cat cafe. A cat cafe. A cat cafe. Nope, just a horrible planet. There's so many owls in here. Just go ahead. Try to hit me.

Do the winds happen before this? No, the winds happen after this. I don't even care anymore. Here we go. Okay. There's too much shit on me. Make sure that's not cracked. I don't wanna be around anymore.

You said it would be interesting. It's gonna be a 25 to hit. Oh, is, oh, you're gonna hit me with a 25? You're gonna hit a girl? Oh, big man. She's a girl. She's pulling out all the steps. She's an old. She's a girl. Pulling out all the steps. Are you serious?

She's an old lady. On my birthday? No. Oh man. Not a crit, right? No. 11 points of slashing damage. You wish it was a crit.

This long sword cuts across your body and you feel your life leaving your body, going into the sword arm of this undead woman. Please give me a fortitude save against the drain life ability. Against the drain life ability. 16. You are drained one.

It's not so bad. Add that to your sheet, cause you're gonna get it. I'm drained one. Look at that face. And then of course. I think you got the total wrong. Thanks, kid. This kid changed my dice.

For me, it's actually more than that. Oh, let me just add those temporary hit points that I just stole from your body. I'm going around the horn here. Second attack is coming at Buggles. No, hit me again. What about Hubert? Who's adjacent to him?

I can't even see me so small. It's such a piece. Actually, I got a two, three here. We'll decide if we're gonna go Zephyr or Bugles. Or Asta again. It is Bugles. I'm sharing the wealth here. You're gonna go down, cause you only have...

Oh, oh, that might be a miss. 13. That is a miss. Wow. Okay. I didn't know this creature was capable of a 13. And then the final attack on... Troy? Action. Kate. I didn't know this creature was capable of a 13 and then the final attack on Action Kate didn't know this monster were playing with was capable

six like critical fail critical You lied to me? I lied to you. That's so mean. On your birthday? He set me up earlier. On my birthday.

I hadn't made one of those jokes in a while. That's good, that's a good joke. All right, here comes the wind. Everyone, give me a fortitude save. Fortitude. The summer wind came blowing in. Check this box back. From across the sea. National 20 from the Arabia. Check this box back.

Nat 20 from the Arabia! He's fighting back! North Valdry! Nat 20. What about Barnes? 16. Ugh, Stun 2. Uh, what about... Stun 2? Zeffer. That can't be a critical fail.

It's not, but if you're adjacent to the Eye of the Hour, you go straight to Stun 2. Oh, so you're like... you should be moving away from it. Zephile go ten I'm saying in the design would you like me to take my position you were in I know I'm saying the design 27 okay, that's success So that's good for you because you're not gonna be pulled towards the eye dire at all and you won't be stunned Buggles natural 20 won't be stunned. Yes. Buggles. Natural 20. Yeah. Natural. I wanna rock! Two 920s! We're coming back baby. Ah so that is very important. Turning this thing around. Buggles will not be stunned this round. Turning this Ayudhara around. Hasta it's your turn. Huge turn here. The winds have changed. You guys

are no longer dying but with three of you drained and brother Ramious wounded too you're not out of the woods yet what do you do here we go dimensional assault she disappears reappears below the creature stabs into it immediately so I can get my spell strike back boom here we go regular little slash Aruni a regular little maybe'll crit, maybe you'll crit, maybe you'll crit. A-rooney, say it one more time. Nope. Like a sneeze.

Beetlejuice, beetlejuice, beetlejuice. Okay, here we go. 17. Miss. Okay, that's okay. And it was off guard. But that is a miss. A miss, okay.

Oh, Skid fixed it for me again. It's better. Okay, that's a 15. I love the pin. All right, now. Skid, was that two actions to do that? again. It's better. Okay. I love the pin. All right, now. Was that two actions to do that? No, that's just one action, my dimensional assault. It's a conflict spell.

I get my spell strike back by using it. I'll take the map on my attack. Okay. Right? But you can spell strike. Do I not take the map? Oh, you take the map. I just don't know if you wanna do that.

You might wanna just save your spell strike for your full attack bonus next round No, or be a hero. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna I'm gonna attack spell strike I'm gonna do gouging claw again. Did you remember to take three points of bleed on your turn? I didn't let me roll my flat check and I failed my flat check. So still bleeding Ikor yeah, my foundry automates it all for me, so I did take it. Quite cool. Just checking. Yeah, seeing that blood, Asta is just invigorated to keep stabbing away. Here we go.

Spellstrike. I'm ready to help. Another Gouging Claw. Thank you, Skid. Thank you, Skid. Here we go. No, 15. That pen is really useful.

Skid changed it again. Can I use the other one? It's a miss. It's a miss. Troy's distracted, but it's a miss. I'm sorry. I was just looking at it because I've been automating the other one. It's a miss, it's a miss. Sorry to distract you, but it's a miss. I'm sorry, I was just looking at it because I've been automating the bleed damage. He is no longer bleeding, but he took damage the last two rounds or whatever it was.

Oh, but it passed its thing now? Yeah, it passed it because it automatically. Oh, you didn't have to roll. Okay, yeah. I was like, why is it no longer bleeding? Because Foundry took care of it for me. Thanks Foundry VTT. What did you do with your turn? I missed on both on all my stuff. What a shame. Now I'm next to Hubert and she says

Hubert you have to do something. I'm so scared now I've never seen anything like this. Okay, well we're all gonna fucking die I'm so wet You don't move your fucking ass I'm so scared and wet! It's Buggles' turn, alright? So, I don't think that I can unleash my psyche, because last round I did my... my, uh, side-burst, right? Which, I don't think...

side-burst, which I don't think counts as a spell. Okay. Because I have to cast a spell on the previous turn before I can unleash. So yeah, I don't think Cyburst isn't a spell. Cyburst has the Concentrate, Evocation, Mind Shift, Occult, Psychic and Psychic. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know if it does because it's a feat. It's not.

So I don't know. Huh. Oh, it's a feat. It's not. So I don't know. Oh, it is a feat. Yeah. But it has the evocation trait. What's another spell like gouging claw? Yeah. Let's look that up. I don't think spells have the spells. It says occult. And I mean, this is pre remastered obviously, but it has the cantrip trait, for example. Okay. Yeah, and then like charm has the spell trait. My focus spell.

That's what I was looking for. Oh, I didn't know the spell was. My focus spell doesn't have a spell trait. It's funny because invisibility, for example, has the, well, let me just look here. It has the illusion trait. It doesn't have the spell trait, but obviously it is a spell well. It's listed as a spell That's the thing whereas Cyburst is a feat Yeah, I mean Cyburst has the occult trait and under occult it says this magic comes from the occult traditions

Well occult yeah, no one's debating this magic. It's just is it a spell and if it was invisibility says spell and Cyburst says feet I see what you're saying there. Yeah I'd love to get an external ruling on that from anyone who knows better but yeah as far as I know I don't I can't unleash my psyche so instead I He is going so that with the cool Khan suppressed by the shitty rules of this game, he is going to do another, a frost-based ignition. Okay.

Frost-based. Natural 20. Oh yeah. Wow! Natural 20. Huge! Two in a row! For Buggles. That is a named character doing a spell. What spell was that?

Magic crit, that's ignition. Ignition, my goodness. A cold ignition. Or a cold ignition. Cold ignition. All right, this one from Luke S. in Glasgow, Scotland. Glasgow! Glasgow!

Hey, so good to hear from the people, faint people in Glasgow. Hi, Luke. Hi, Luke. Okay, adaptive people of Glasgow. Hi, Luke. Hi, Luke. Okay, Adaptive Biometric Crit. Not all crits are made equal. Sorry, not sorry, GMs. If a beautiful, pure, clean player pulls this crit,

triple damage on the hit, and you are hasted for what? Yes! Four rounds. Yes! And Skid just basically nerfed himself. I did a dirty disgusting GM You're in this bad boy roll damages if it was a normal hit it is not a crit Adaptive biometric that is the finest laswegian crits

You are hasted for two rounds and that will be triple damage I should say quick and come on bugles. Okay quick and alright Holy shit Okay, that's 27 27 points of damage points of damage Awesome scared right it shouldn't be an odd number right?

Well 27 is divisible by 3. Yes, 3. Oh, I'm sorry. You're right. You're a side Awesome. It's scared. Well, it shouldn't be an odd number, right? Well, 27 is divisible by three. Yeah, it's three. Oh, I'm sorry. You're right, you're right. It's not, apologies. Nice one, Kate. Triple damage.

27 points of damage with the frost ignition. Yes. Amazing. So it's cold, it's cold damage. Oh, look at Buggles. He's all cold, electrified. It's amazing. Okay.

Do you have another action bar? We're gonna live forever. And then- Well, you're hasted now too. And I- And I am- You wouldn't- You've gained that action.

I gained it next round. Okay. So I'm gonna do- Typically the way- Another- The next two rounds. Another Cybers, or a reflex save. Okay, reflex save against this mental effect 22.

Okay, that's a success. Ooh, max damage though, you stick four points of bludgeoning. Four points of bludgeoning the mind of this stranger. Dude, how did you get that thing on Bugles token on Foundry? It's quickened. That's quickened? Yeah.

That's awesome, I thought it was related to the frost. Oh, cool. He's all fired up. I mean, huge's awesome. It was related to the frost He's all fired up I mean how huge that you rolled a nat 20 on the save against the wind that would have made you at least stunned one Yeah, so Zephyr this should be the effect on me when the cool icon comes out Yeah, I could just put that on for flavor all the time Yeah, separate got one action make it if anyone's gonna do something with one action. It's Floria blows Johnson over here

Yeah, are you seriously gonna be? whispering again Zephyr I've been waiting so long action can't wait to see you do apologize to Francis who now has to cut to that. Yeah Not to me though I also feel less special because Joe and I have a whole whisper thing at live shows and I just see Joe does it with everybody I guess. Whoever he's sitting next to. We'd never do this. This is just a very complicated combat. We also had the whisper thing before you sat at that table.

How dare you. You sat at the other table. How dare you. So fucking rude. Yeah I used to sit with Skid and it was awesome. Never talked to her. Skid and I would not talk or look at each other they're respectful. Yeah strangers on a bus Strangers on a bus

separate what he got Flurry blows Point blank rain and off guard do it Do it, do it, do it. No, okay, maybe I was saving you from Joe's backseat driver. Why is it Hubert's there? Hubert's there. Hey, Hubert helped in something, it's off guard. Hubert must be annoying the shit out of this dead old woman. I think that if I roll and you guys keep talking,

I just get to roll again. Because that roll's gone now. That roll didn't even happen. Yeah. 13 is a miss. But maybe with the second flurry, you'll hit. Says the narrator. Nine.

But maybe with the second flurry, here comes Kate with the second attack. Oh, she missed. The narrator just became Casey Kate. It was Casey Kate. Let's go over a top 40 there. Rolling at number 29, a countdown of failed rolls. You are no longer stunned to, speaking of stunned to,

Barnes. Do you want me to hold? Lying down next to your friend, Ramius. Just a couple of buddies. You're full, you don't have any damage? Lying into the stars. Barnes is going to do exploit vulnerability on this thing. Ooh. You're useful you don't have any damage. Yeah, I didn't yes, whatever you want Barnes is going to do exploit vulnerability on this thing. Oh

shed any light Dark lore, okay natural 18. Oh, that's a 29 Damn, let me guess no weaknesses. It is a creature known as a Karen White. Oh! Oh! Karen White! We fought her before. You know what?

Karen White. We have fought Karen White before. So she's a Karen. It was also a Karen. She's a real Karen. A near TPK. Wait, that's right. She's Karen.

Karen White. A white Karen. Karen. She's a real Karen. I'm talking about this with a cannon fire. Karen White! Karen. Karen White.

Does Karen have any? Jesus, Karen! Karen have any Jesus Karen Get off She's a real Karen was that a critical success against it the standard DC for the creatures level um What's interesting so Yeah for the baseline it would be yeah, I'm gonna give it to you, okay I I know all of the creature's weaknesses. None, has none.

Great, great. I learn all the creature's resistances and immunities. No resistances, several immunities, death effects, disease, paralyzed, poison, and unconscious. Huh, huh. Any- It just goes from totally fine to permanently dead. Can't be unconscious. Huh. Huh. Any. It just goes from totally fine to permanently dead. Can't be unconscious. Any vulnerabilities in which the example they give here is

what what spells will pass through a Golem's anti magic? Anything like that? No, the void healing is obviously it takes it isn't you know healed by its damage by vitality damage and it's healed by void damage. Okay. Great, I share that information with everyone, and that is my turn because I am stunned. Okay. That's a nice ability.

That's a nice, and that's what it gives you, all that information. And then if it would be, if I had more actions, I could hit it and get bonus damage. Okay. But I have no more actions. Sadly you don't. Okay.

Sadly I'm stunned. Brother Ramius of Latria. Okay, Ramius is going to... Oh man, it's tricky being right next to this thing. Brother Ramius is going to get up. First action. Get up from prone to try to become mobile. Now this stunt too when you're underneath the thing is rough, but I need to stay close to my allies.

I mean basically every square on here is adjacent to this thing, right? Like Buggles is adjacent to it. Yeah, that square around it is all considered adjacent. thing right like like Buggles is adjacent to it yeah right so like that square around it is all considered adjacent yeah so I have to fully move out onto one of the outer platforms in order to not be adjacent to it so it's only if you spail that you become sent to yeah but I you know I mean a 16 is a fail that's tough I was a natural 8 I succeed well not for me I have a 16 is a fail. That's tough. I was a natural 8. I succeed. Well not for me. I have a low fortitude All right

I think it's safe to say that for you know just for flavors sake all of these creatures have been pulled Towards the eye as well all of the sages It's it's fun now because it now I recognize the art that you use for the sages It's the axiomites actually might be bought in the strange. I just thought they looked fun and elf-y. Nice. Futuristic. Fun and elf-y. Fun and elf-y. All right, Ramies is gonna stand up,

looking, I mean, geez, the horrible wounds he took from the Nikon, he's gonna try to patch himself up. So I'm going to battle medicine myself, and I'm going to take a risk here and increase the DC in order to juice up the amount of hit points I could get for myself. You're a gambling man. I'm gambling. Skid would not do this. I have to. I have to. I believe you. I have to. Fail. And I would have failed any... actually I wouldn't have failed but I failed and then I will do the same

thing it's not working just like that for come here and he's going to try to bandage Zephyr real fast you have you take it I'm only down seven all right then I won't raise the DC and I will do battle medicine on you God same exact shit ass number, but it is a success for the lower DC You get nine hit points back You get nine hit points back. Awesome. I'm full. All right. And that's his turn.

That's just trying to patch himself and other people up, but he could not help himself. We're going to the top of round four here. And it is the Karen White's turn. Oh, Karen. What are you going to do, Karen? Call the police? I'm going to roll some dice to do Karen? Call the police. I'm gonna roll some dice to see. Ask for the manager.

Ask for our manager. I'm gonna attack people. This one's coming at Zephyr. I'm filming you Karen. Filming you attack Zephyr. Zephyr with the long sword at you. That is going to be a 25. Regular hit.

Regular hit, 10 points of slashing damage and again as the blade cuts across your arm will say you feel the life seeping out of you and into the creature wait do these drains stack um 25 you're alright Does that not affect my current drained? I just don't fall for it. Correct, you remain drained for the rest of your life. Cool. That's so aggravating. Second attack and I'm doing these all randomly. It might be coming back as you ever. Oh no it's coming at Asta. Second attack. Are you hurt? How hard are you? Yes. 21. That just hits my AC is 21. You're gonna take 14 points of slashing damage

and I need you to roll a fortitude save. Just pass it. Oh, I'm sore. Just don't fail. Are you in the range? I think if you fail this, you go down? She's already drained. You're drained one, right?

I'm drained one. Yeah, drain two may suck enough hit points to take you to die. Just don't fail Don't say that 15 you are now drained to Let me just increase that I'm still up. You're still up. And I have a tiny bit of temp HP, which is why I'm still up, because of my invigorating fear.

Well, you lose your temp HP first. Oh, then that's gone, but I'm still up. But you still have a couple. Okay. And you're drained that you'd be down six, right? So six, your max hit points should be down six, right? Yeah. Because it's your drain condition times your level.

Yeah, max AP isn't so important right now. It's really if you get healed, you can all get healed back up to a certain point. Yeah. But automatically losing another three in addition to the hit you just took. Yeah. If you put drain two on there, I'm sure it's correct. But not great.

It is one action. And I'm rolling these randomly. This might come back at you. Five or six coming back. Is Whatchamacallit on there? Hubert? He is not. Buggles.

Buggles with the lowest base attack bonus. I'm feeling another 20. I'm sorry, Buggles. Bugles with the lowest base attack bonus. I'm feeling another 20. I'm sorry, Buggles. I just feel it. Nope. 15 to hit. That's a miss.

Slice, slice. Slazoos. All right, this is our last chance. Let me just add my temporary hit points. You have to not get stunned. Would you please just kill this thing? Life. It is to not get stunned. Raining, ostens. Would you please just kill this thing? Life. All right. It is the wind's turn.

Hate wind. I hate this wind. I hate that this creature is immune to all of physical existence. It doesn't make any sense. I listen to the wind. And the wind is fortitude. To the wind.

Which I am down because of the drain. Yeah. Oh yeah. Give me a fortitude save. Oh, stupid. This is dumb. Gung,, yeah, give me a fortitude say Come come come told you that's a third four in a row. I rolled I told you that I was gonna fail that Stunned to alright, so you failed. Yeah, and you straight-up failed failed. Alright, so We don't care about critical. I Stun two, stun two, stun two. 25. Success.

Huge. Bugles. 24. Hell yeah. Success. All right, so. It's up to us. Zephyr, Barnes, and Ramious are stunned too.

Zephyr, correct me if I'm wrong, you've been stunned every round of this fight. Stunning. Yeah, it's been stunning. She's been stunned too every round of this fight. Absolutely stunnin'. Stunning. Stunning.

Let me throw those conditions on. I'm absolutely stunned. Oh, fine, yours are still on there. I'll just leave it there. You look absolutely stunned. Stunned. Let's leave it on there. Stunned.

Are you looking for the dice? Are you looking at the dice? You threw away your anger. I'm literally, no, an anger. I'm looking at it over there. A guy with the plaque waves again. He's got a new plaque. Oh. I'll wait till no, in anger. I'm looking at it over there. The guy with the plaque waves again. He's got a new plaque.

Oh. I'll wait till you're done. Oh. Stunning. It is Asta's turn. I mean, the fact that you've succeeded on these last two saves, giving you your full compliment of actions

against this creature is enormous! Can you do the Spellstrike now, please? Can you do it? Yes, I can. I need to spend one action recharge. Beautiful. And I'm going to now do a Spellst spell strike full with my full. I'm not taking the map. I'm on Gouging John right yeah face gouging claw here we go Cindy you see no one what was it like that?

It wasn't a one was it no it's just not good as a bottle cap set. No. I don't have a cap 17 Even with the flanking and stuff no right missed by one yep And I don't have guidance or anything. Oh, thanks a lot separate Thanks a lot. Except for. I didn't say it. I didn't say it. She couldn't have done guidance on her anyway. She's immune for 10 minutes.

I will not defend myself to silly commentary. That is my Joe. My turn. See, this is what I was saving you from. Best reactions? By talking to him during your turn. No. You didn't have to endure this silly commentary.

Buggles, you are drained. But you are quickened. You have your full- Come on. You're a man of action. And you cast the spell last round. It's all up to you. So he's reaching deep down.

He's terrified. He's been terrified slowly sort of regaining his senses, but he's just like, please, I need you help me, help me. He's like squinting his eyes. It's just like, oh, just try to force this entity out. And his eyes flash open in a glowing red. Boom, this globe of energy around him. Boom, another ignition with fire this time.

Come on. 24, that's a hit. There we go. Baby! Take this thing out. I don't think we're moving again now. I don't know what is. It's been four rounds. I don't know what is happening.

So I guess we have to kill this thing. To move. And then we'll teleport to happiness. Yeah, the hospital. To the hospital. To the hospital. That's 27 points of damage. 27 points of damage. 27 points of damage.

You snap your finger. And does fire just like appear somewhere? Yeah. Or does it come out of your hands? So it's everyone, I'll refer you to Full Metal Alchemist. It's just like Roy Mustang. You hit this thing, you bring it to zero hit points. Yes!

Which enacts its ability, Final Spite. What? It triggers this ability where it makes one strike at you before being destroyed. Oh no. On a hit, it could still drain life, but it will not gain temporary HP if it does. So it burns and it reaches out through the flames to swing its sword at you one last time

Natural two And it just shrivels into dust We're always fine You got leashed! I told you we'd be fine. We're always fine. It shrivels into dust mere seconds pass and zoom with a lurch. The landscape blinks back into its original jungle clearing.

Everything as before, except the archway, because the gate's interior is now filled with a veil of white mist through which it looks like a simple stone chamber is barely visible on the other side. And above the arch, you see the shade wither key, the gate key just kind of sputtering and sparking, rusting into dust before your very eyes. And A'Lelia is like sweaty from all the effort.

She's been working on the telescope. She's like clinging like Doc and the Back to the Future from the telescope. Both arms. And there's a beam of light steadily pointing back in its original direction. If you remember, there were beams of light. She sort of like used her strength.

It's now pointing in one single direction. And she says, the key, the key will be no more soon. I didn't foresee this. Hurry, she says, just sort of pointing towards the rapidly deteriorating key, pointing towards the gate. She goes, I don't know how long it will stay open. And she just kind of smiles as she's hanging from there. And she says, thank you for everything.

We will tell this story for generations, but you must go now, go. Why don't we long rest first? Boom. The portal starts to drown out anything else she is saying. What do you do? Barnes is something I think he will roll through the portal. Rolls through the portal. Ramius puts like one hand on the edge of the Ayudhara

and pulls himself drained. I'm not drained, but I'm stunned. Just like pulling himself through into the mist. I imagine Zephyr stumbles through. Being drained and stunned. Asta looks around. She sees Hubert. She also looks.

Is there anything remaining from the woman ghost thing, like the sword? Nothing. Nothing, no sword. Nothing. Really wanted that fucking sword. Classic Asta sword. Asta thinks to herself, yeah, but that sword did cool stuff.

Anyway, she sees no sword, she looks, she sees Hubert still frightened, she grabs Hubert by the head like a bowling ball, and tosses him through the gate as she sprints towards the gate and says to to Buggles, come on! And she jumps through. Jumps through. Buggles. The coolakan steps through and just as he's about to vanish, like he turns to a lily with a wicked toothy smile, presses his fingers to his temples

And does a cyber stoner on a lullet Reflex save for a lele fails We don't see this six points of pledging damage, huh, we don't see that And you walk through the portal. What the? End of book one. Oh, that was it, that was it. I told you. You told me.

Wow. Wow. Wow. Woo. That's it. What a climax. Oh my goodness. We didn't die.

We didn't. I told you. Nobody died. And you had the chance to leave Hubert behind and you had to role't die. We didn't. I told you. Nobody died. And you had the chance to leave Hubert behind and you had to role play him. Hold him in. In the portal, didn't you, Sydney? When you said you picked him up, I was just like, and.

Throw him into the jungle. Wings him into the jungle. We promised, that would have been so rude to A'leli. We promised them. We did. Yeah, we sure. The cool icon side bursted O'Lellie. She's got other.

I didn't know that happened. And we all jumped through first, so we didn't see it happen. Yeah, we have no idea. No idea. No one better metagame that. We don't know. This is amazing. So you are, I'm just removing all the stunned here just to see what your actual conditions

are. Ramius is wounded too. Yeah. And prone, whatever. You're standing up now, so you're no longer prone. Barnes, you're fine. Zephyr is drained too. Yeah. And prone, whatever, you're standing up now so you're no longer prone. Barnes, you're fine. Zephyr is drained one. Bugles is drained one. Asta is drained two.

Hubert, he's doing all right. He's doing fine. You want an epilogue? Yeah. Okay. Yes. Yes, please. Yes.

Get my blanket on. Yes, please. Can we share? Just like the underwear. You step through this gate, that booming sound, draining out A'leli's final words, draining out the, perhaps, screams she felt as the Kula Khan blasted her mind with a sigh burst. The landscape, just as quickly as it came back after you left that dead planet, is now gone again. And you are just falling. You're falling through this sort of interplanetary travel. And the final moments between Castravel and wherever you're heading

The final moments between Castravel and wherever you're heading feels like you're falling through this tunnel of multicolored light. It's just like vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom. And then with a sudden flash, reality snaps back into place. Vroom! You feel as if you hit the ground, but you don't take any damage. It wasn't like falling damage, but it happens so sudden that you feel nauseous, a little off balance. The chamber that appears before you is the one that you faintly glimpsed through that white light when a lele warned you there wasn't much time and the shade wither key was disintegrating. It is large, very, very large. The walls are about 60 feet away or

more windowless, circular, and almost entirely occupied by a massive mechanical telescope. You made it. Yeah. You look up and the telescope's far end pokes out of a wide rectangular gap in the giant domed ceiling. Wow. A true observatory. Beyond which can be seen hundreds of stars in the night sky. You think to yourself in that split second, which star you just came from. The other end of the telescope tapers down to what looks like a raised dais. You hear a voice say, oh, my gods, thank the stars.

It worked. It worked. Before you can see where the voice is coming from, loud banging erupts from the other side of a barred pair of wooden doors just near where you're standing. You see a man in heavy winter clothing descending from the dais above. And he says,

Santa, as you can see, I need some help. And we'll see you next week. Oh, yes. Oh my god. It's me. Because Rudolph's not here, so he needs someone. He needs. To drive the sleigh.

Yeah, right. He needs help. Yeah, as long as it's not combat, I'm happy to help. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

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