The Glass Cannon Podcast - Gatewalkers Episode 56 – Blunder the Dome
Episode Date: October 18, 2024The heroes are shunted through space and time to an observatory currently under threat! Watch the video here: https://youtu.be/z56F_QCgpgo This episode was sponsored by Foundry VTT and Norse Foundry. ...See why tabletop gamers everywhere have made the switch to Foundry Virtual Tabletop at https://foundryvtt.com/gcp For all your random number-generating needs, visit Norse Foundry at https://norsefoundry.com Get 22% off your first order when you use code "GCP" at https://iherb.com/shop/gcp. Existing customers receive 15% off. For a limited time, use code "GCN" to get a free gift with your Journey Pack at https://tryfum.com/GCN. Access exclusive podcasts, ad-free episodes, and livestreams with a 30-day free trial with code "GCN30" at jointhenaish.com. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. Watch new episodes when they premiere every Thursday at 8PM ET on youtube.com/theglasscannon. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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New Regency and Q-Code present...
Why were there bodies in the hallway?
An automatic in Oddfellas production...
Some sort of virus triggered by sleep...
Starring Markiplier.
Hello?
I checked every house on the side of the street.
Every single one of them died in their sleep.
It's hit the whole town.
This isn't some virus.
This is an attack.
By what?
Something that can kill us in our dreams. Wake me up! Wake! I take the whole town. This isn't some virus. This is an attack.
By what?
Something that can kill us in our dreams.
Wake me up!
WAKE ME UP!
The Edge of Sleep, now streaming on Prime Video.
You are listening to the Glass Cannon Network, the premiere source for role-playing game entertainment. Last week on the Glass Cannon podcast.
It is a creature known as a Cairn White.
Skeletal, features with a longsword in its hand.
Brother Ramious.
No.
You're dying too right now.
Yes.
The creature takes its longsword and swings at Buggles.
Stop.
That's not fair.
You become drained one.
Yeah, I'm in bed shape.
So he's reaching deep down.
Ah!
Boom.
And it just shrivels into dust.
Yes!
Yes!
Buggles unleashed!
With a lurch, the landscape blinks back
into its original jungle clearing. And there's a beam of light steadily pointing back into its original jungle clearing and there's a beam of light
steadily pointing back in its original direction
A lele is like sweaty from all the effort and she says hurry you must go now the cool
Akon steps through and just as he's about to vanish he turns to a lele does a side burst on her on a
to a lele does a side burst on her. On a lele?
What?
Oh!
What the?
Swoom!
And you walk through the portal.
What the?
And then with a sudden flash,
the chamber that appears before you
is the one that you faintly glimpsed
through that white light.
It is large and almost entirely occupied
by a massive telescope.
You smith.
You hear a voice.
It worked!
It worked!
A man descending from the dais above.
BOOM!
Loud banging erupts from the other side of a barred pair of wooden doors.
As you can see, I need some help.
The adventure continues...
...now. Welcome back to the Glass Cannon podcast, everybody.
We just learned Sydney loves a pulpy drink.
Oh, no.
This is a very polarizing thing.
We learned at the table.
I know.
I didn't think it would be that big of a deal.
This is going to get dirty really fast. I didn't think it would be that big of a deal. Some people really don't like pulp in their orange juice or bits in other types of drinks.
People like Joe Brian.
It's like nails on a chalkboard, you're even talking about it.
Even with orange juice?
Oh, man, if I drink a drink, I want it to be a drink, not a food.
I like to chew.
I didn't drink a food.
What about a milkshake?
Weird unknown chunks sliding subtly into your throat.
It's the known chunks.
You know what the chunks are.
What about butt with the coconut water?
You have to work to remove the chunks.
Sometimes you drink a coconut water
and it just, something gets in there.
It's coconut.
But you're not 100% sure if it isn't rat droppings
or hair of somebody that made it.
Well that's true of everything.
The FDA allows less than 2% of rat droppings in hair of somebody that made it. Well, that's true of everything. The FDA allows less than 2% of rat droppings
in every food that's put up.
Sometimes like a coconut that falls off the tree
is like cracking open as a rat living in there.
Yep.
And you're halfway through the coconut.
Exactly.
They can't possibly know for sure.
Every fig contains a wasp, as we learned in previous episodes.
Not every, not every, but they do pollinate.
You need a wasp to pollinate a fig.
Right, but they're not in the fig.
They break down.
Only certain types.
They also break down.
Did you see this video that went viral recently
of a woman that got a loaf of bread that was mostly rat?
Every slice was a chunk of rat.
What?
That was perfectly sliced, like bisected.
Oh!
Did she get it sliced at the grocery store?
No, it was like Wonder Bread, you know, basically.
And it had like just a piece.
Wait, basically?
Like a vivisected rat.
Blowing up Wonder Bread.
It was like, it might not have been Wonder Bread.
It was like that scene in The Cell.
Steve Bread.
Do you guys know the movie The Cell
with Jennifer Lopez, Vince Vaughn?
I haven't seen it in a very long time.
You gotta put it back together as a whole rat.
The horse scene in The Cell,
do you know what I'm talking about?
Nightmares.
Yeah. Yeah, that's disgusting.
Imagine you just like,
what's wrong with this child?
Oh God, oh my God!
That's exactly how I feel when I have extra pulp orange.
I was gonna say, to you that's pulp.
What did pulp do to you?
Ever since I was a kid, I don't know,
something about the consistency.
I'll explain.
It feels so gross in my throat.
Someone once served Joe O'Brien orange juice.
Right.
Plain orange juice.
And it was different from his parents' orange.
Plain orange juice is plain, Matthew.
And he turned it back and he said, can you make it plainer?
I think the pulp makes me think, whether it's placebo or not, that it's healthy.
Because it's like, they didn't strain it, they didn't do preservatives, that's what
it is.
When you squeeze it.
Yeah, when you squeeze an orange, there's going to be stuff in it.
Yeah, that's not them squeezing an orange, that, yeah, Tropicana orange.
I'm saying it makes me feel, makes me think.
Where do you stand on this whole pulp, no pulp debate?
You like a little pulp?
I like the band. pulp? I like the bands
Okay, okay, help the bands help the band. I give you an orange juice. What are you hoping for?
Some pulp some probably like some pulp. Well, that's just no pulp. You're like, yeah
Opest I'd rather have foreign chunks in my
It just looks aren't cuz it. You can see it. You can see the pulp.
It just looks orange because it's in orange juice.
You're insane.
All right.
So you're not going to turn your nose up at a no pulp orange juice?
No, no.
No pulp is great, too.
Take it to the other end.
Someone gives you extra pulp.
I don't really like extra pulp.
If I'm eating orange, I'm eating orange.
You're a guest in someone's house and everyone is drinking it.
I'll wait till they fall asleep and then I murder them.
After you force yourself to throw up the pulp that you obviously drank to nothing.
What houses did you visit?
You have so many traumatic experiences.
Drink their orange juice.
DRINK THE PULP!
I haven't heard anything from Kate. I was just going to her and I don't know what it's going to be here.
Something tells me it's going to be Sydney-side.
I think it's going to be...
I don't think so.
I think it's going to be Sydney-side.
Why would she say that?
Because we're women?
Oh, women do the same thing?
Wow.
Wow, Joe.
Wow.
You heard it first.
Canceled. During the month of May. Don't leave me alone with these women. Wow, wow, wow. You heard it first. You're your first.??
You heard it first.
You heard it first.
You heard it first.
You heard it first.
You heard it first.
You heard it first.
You heard it first.
You heard it first.
You heard it first.
You heard it first.
You heard it first.
You heard it first.
You heard it first.
You heard it first.
You heard it first.
You heard it first.
You heard it first.
You heard it first.
You heard it first.
You heard it first. You heard it first. You heard it first. You heard it first. You heard it first. very specific opinion on this. If you're gonna fall one way or the other, I'm passing you some orange juice before you even know the pulp situation.
What are you hoping for?
Be careful because if he's giving you some orange juice,
there's a lot of implications.
Yeah.
Here, drink this.
This is a trap.
I'm not reading too much into this.
Is it in your house that you're doing this?
I might be.
You're not gonna be in this house.
You're a guest in my home, buddy.
It's fine.
Wait, wait, you don't not like pulp.
Yeah, I don't seek it out.
It's pulp, no pulp.
All right, take it a step further.
You go to the grocery store,
you're going to buy orange juice.
What do you buy? With the coconut water,
that has too little to where it's surprising
when you get it.
And then I'm like, whoa, what was that?
I need to be consistent.
Grocery store?
You're buying orange juice.
You look at the list, you're like, wow,
gotta buy orange juice.
Michael is into like extra pulp.
So I just get what he likes.
Okay, so you get the extra pulp and So I just get what he likes. Okay.
And I drink it.
So you get the extra pulp and you drink it and it's no big deal.
That's fine.
Because you know that it's not some foreign substance.
Orange juice to me also is just like such a sweet beverage.
It's not like I don't drink it like a drink.
I'm like, ooh, it's an orange juice.
Right.
Come run it off the basketball court.
It having pulp is fine.
I'm so thirsty.
Extra pulp, Trump.
I'm so thirsty.
Let me get a super quality glass of orange juice.
That old SNL skit, Gatorade cookie dough.
Oh yeah.
It's like, well, I'll just squeeze in cookie dough.
Gatorade cookie dough.
I find that orange juice is really good with champagne.
Oh, oh, yes.
And then I do like a pulpy, more pulpy orange juice
because you're mixing it with the champagne.
Cuts the champagne a little bit or?
On a recent flight, I got a mimosa
and the flight attendant went to hand it to me
and we hit a bump of turbulence
and she spilled a third of my mimosa all over me.
Oh no.
Was there chunks of pulp on it?
You know, I think it was no pulp.
Yeah.
If only there had been pulp, I could have washed it away.
Professional airline. When I flew only there had been pulp, I could have washed it away. Professional airline.
When I flew a couple weeks ago, I was sitting there,
and I had the ILC, which I hate, but it's
the only comfort plus that was available, and it was free.
So I sat there, and I've got my laptop on me,
and the guy hands me a can of champagne
and a can of orange juice.
A can of champagne?
And a cup.
Yeah.
And I'm just sort of. Give me a can of your finest champagne. can of champagne. And a cup. Yeah.
Give me a can of your finest champagne.
That's how they do it.
White wine and red wine and champagne is all in a can.
So I've got a can of champagne, a can of fucking OJ and a cup and my laptop.
And I'm just like, and I can't get up to like reassess.
So I balance the orange juice here.
I'm just kind of pouring it and holding everything in my hand while I drink it I can get more orange juice in and then try, oh, I need a little
more champagne.
My ratio's off.
I felt like a psychopath typing with one finger between sips.
You could have just mixed it in your mouth.
I could have, right?
Just like, ah.
You like that?
Ah.
Clip that, clip that.
Let me ask you, would you ever drink milk straight from a cow's udder?
And if you did, would you squeeze it in or would you suck it?
Not good for you.
This is a whole thing.
There's a lot of people these days.
Way into raw milk.
There's a lot of trad, trad wives on the internet, traditional wives who insist on eating like
raw meat, raw milk.
And they're like, it's good for you.
It's the way we're supposed to. Got to say guys, there is science that you are not supposed
to do it. It is full of pus and bad stuff. That being said, I would do it.
So, I don't know about the-
I got to tell the people at home not to. Don't do what I do.
You're conflating the raw meat people with the raw milk people. I'm sure there is some
Svend diagram with a crossover.
There's a lot of crossovers. But the more popular one, not a lot of people are eating raw meat, but there's a lot of people
who are drinking raw milk and they are like-
Unpassurized.
Unpassurized. You're like, when you passurize it, you take away all the good stuff.
Okay.
Blood?
You're like, give it to your babies and they won't have eczema. All those sort of health things.
So stupid.
It's the saddest thing.
They're way into it. The Gwyneth Paltrow is way into it.
And it's this like whole craze.
But there's people who just like stop drinking
pasteurized milk.
Meanwhile, the FDA is like, you're going to get very sick.
I would try a little bit from the udder,
but I wouldn't squeeze it right in my mouth
because I would be really scared it would come out too fast
and I would miss.
Because that comes out kind of fast.
It hits that pale like like, pch.
Have you milked a lot of cows?
I've milked a cow.
I've milked a goat.
Really?
I've never, you milked a goat.
Yeah.
Oh my god, when I went to the-
Sorry, have you milked a cow and milked a goat?
At the same time?
Or just milked a goat?
At the same time.
Is part of a competition?
I got two hands, don't I?
I'm going to win?
I'm behind one goat.
I went to the-
Makeup.
I went to the Duchess County Fair, like over the summer.
And when I stood next to the cows, I realized in that moment
I'd never been that close to a cow before.
And I'd never touched one before.
And I can't believe you milked one.
They are enormous and they feel really weird
when you touch them.
Yeah, and to produce milk they have to be pregnant.
They just feel like they're big creatures
with seven stomachs or something.
You're just like, I'm touching a creature.
But they have really human, beautiful eyes.
But yeah, milking them, I would put, just for funsies, if I like worked on a farm or
whatever, I would milk like a little bit in the bucket, like I'd try a little bit, just
be like, what's that taste like?
Is it pulpy?
It's a little sip.
I've never done it.
I'm saying I would.
I don't think it'd be pulpy.
I'd choose a little pulpy.
Yeah, the pulp is pus.
The pus and the piss and the blood.
Hair, probably some hair. Yeah, rat droppings.. Pus and the piss in the blood. Hair, probably some hair.
Yeah, rat droppings.
Would you do it?
From all the rats they ate.
No, no, but I'm curious about this raw milk thing.
I don't want to get sick.
Troy.
Oh, no.
No.
He can't get into these kind of things.
He totally does.
You are the perfect lovable guy.
No, I just like, I like.
You love a scheme.
I love a good scheme.
I love a good scheme. But I'm like a try something once
type of thing.
Let me just see what the hype's all about.
But raw milk, I don't want to get sick.
Maybe mix it with a little vodka.
Cause then it would like kill the-
Make a fucking white Russian with raw milk?
Now we're talking.
Vodka will down that bacteria.
You got the health benefits-
Slut of health nuts out there.
You're just on the way that you use it.
Whoa!
I'm not hearing that.
But yeah, the people are crazy about it. Like you just go to a good farm What'd you use your? Boom! Boom! I'm tearing that.
But yeah, the people are crazy about it. Like you just go to a good farm where the cows are tested.
Nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan,
you'll live forever.
Hate everyone.
I just.
It's the kind of thing that I think about.
I just get, I don't want to live on this planet anymore.
It's too late, man.
You're here.
You're stuck.
It's never too late.
It's never too late. It's true. You're going's too late, man. You're here. You're stuck. It's never too late.
It's never too late.
You can go whenever you want.
It is only the late afternoon.
Well, sound off in the comments.
Pulp?
No pulp?
Raw milk?
Raw milk?
Puss?
See you right after this.
We'll see you right after this Puss. What's going on?
Troy LaValle here.
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New Regency and Q Code present. Why were there bodies in the hallway?
An automatic and oddfellows production...
Some sort of virus triggered by sleep...
Starring Markiplier.
Hello?
I checked every house on the side of the street.
Every single one of them died in their sleep.
It's hit the whole town.
This isn't some virus.
This is an attack.
By what?
Something that can kill us in our dreams. Wake me up! Wake me up! I take the whole town. This isn't some virus. This is an attack.
By what?
Something that can kill us in our dreams.
The Edge of Sleep, now streaming on Prime Video.
We're back, everybody! Kate's still laughing from saying puss.
I said puss first.
You said puss?
Oh!
No wonder you were laughing. Oh! I said puss. I said puss first. You said puss. Oh. No wonder you were laughing.
Oh.
I said puss.
Drinking puss?
Puss.
Junk's of puss in there.
Puffy puss.
What is wrong with it?
Nothing like waking up on Christmas morning
with a tall glass of puss.
All right.
Every year, I put out puss for Santa.
Milk and puss.
Puss and cookies. That's for Santa. Milk and puss. Puss and cookies.
That's how you get the good presents.
My god.
We have fun here.
We do differently here at the Glass Cannon Podcast,
and that's thanks to our sponsors, Norse Foundry
and Foundry Virtual Tabletop.
Norse Foundry for all your random number generating needs.
Oh, look, there's a 20 on this die.
This one only rolls 20s.
Let me see.
Clearly.
Two.
That's not.
How cool was the switching between planets?
Very cool.
That was very cool.
Yeah.
Lifting the veil, you visited three different planets during those jumps.
The first one was Akitan.
You nailed that.
Obviously, Yosoki. It's a good play
to Yusoki on androids and aliens. The second one, the flesh planet. This is like a Lovecraftian
planet, Octurne.
Oh!
Yeah, I've heard of that.
Yeah.
And then of course-
I didn't know that was flesh.
I didn't know it was flesh.
I didn't either. And I also didn't know that it was like that's the Lovecraft planet.
Or is it just like the flesh continent, the planet?
No, I think that's the whole- that's the Lovecraft planet. Or is it just like the flesh continent? Did we know that?
I think that's the whole, it's like a living planet,
I think.
Did we talk about it on Strange Aeons?
I feel like maybe we talked.
We might've.
It probably came up.
Actually, now that I think of it,
now you went to the moon.
I forgot you guys went to the moon in the Dreamlands.
Yeah, well, Octurne.
Oh yeah, the moon jail.
We went to the moon, remember?
The moon prison.
And then the last planet was the Ox.
So that's cool.
Classic. As she's trying to like get you, it just sent you to those places in Foundry. The moon, remember? Moon prison. And then the last planet was the yaks. Yeah. Yeah.
Classic.
As she's trying to like get you, it just sent you to those places.
And Foundry, they did it so slickly.
And also like the maps on Foundry are recreations of the maps in Paizo's books, which, you know,
some of them are good, but they're usually pretty simple.
They get the job done.
Foundry has taken these maps.
So the people that created the module have taken these maps and taken them to the next level. We'll talk about maps
just in a minute. But end of book one, how we feel?
Whoa.
Huh? Some of you saw it coming. I think Matthew was like, this is it. This is the,
when we walked into last week's session, you were like, you guys ready for the finale?
And Joe was like, we'll be talking about 20 more episodes.
And then Kate said, you're ready to level up?
Never know. I asked, I repeat Kate's question.
I manifest my stuff.
You do?
Yeah.
Your presence on the show.
Sydney, you have a puppy question?
Just ready to level up.
Thought maybe you were gonna toss it to that.
Yeah.
I wasn't surprised, but also I'm curious
about what's gonna happen now.
Just with the situation we're coming into,
assuming we're at Skyforge or Skywatch,
where we're meant to be,
hopefully gonna go see the Black Frost Whale
and like figure all that out.
But man, those fights were brutal, like really, really hard.
Well, the dragon fight, really,
the Drake really softens you up up and without the long rest you
went into it.
And I was actually worried early on because when you charmed the Yasoki, you know, I didn't
do what you were hoping for, but it very quickly after column motions everything, it even says
in the book, if the characters try to column motions like this and you did, you can get
away from this encounter. I know that after X amount of time you're gonna zip to another planet
after you guys caked through that one I was hoping to like just kind of nudge
one of you down a little bit then the night gone I knew was gonna deliver and
did and then of course it gets progressively harder because now you're
dealing with the winds that are stunning you and this creature that had a pretty
decent to hit,
and I'm rolling 20s left and right, draining life.
You succeed despite all of that.
Come back to Castrovel and she's like, the key, it's going.
There was a point back when you were in the Oatian settlement where you were like, you
should come with us.
She's like, well, maybe I'll take the key and we'll figure out a way for me to come.
The key's gone. That gateway between worlds is over. You get transported
to this observatory and it seems like you have gone out of the frying pan and into the
fire of a new horrible situation.
Joe, you seem upset.
What? I'm smiling and laughing.
Also, I'm wondering if we went where-
It might be a little bit manic.
I'm wondering if we went where a lele was trying to put us or if this person intercepted
us because of the way that he said, like, oh, it worked great.
He was trying to grab us.
He had something to do with it.
Well, they were communicating.
I think this is where we were going.
Sackawatchee was communicating with a lele at least.
Sackawatchee and a lele talked to each other. And I think we knew it was an observatory.
Yes.
I think it's very unlikely that we were intercepted by another observatory.
However, we have no idea that there could be that they could have enemies.
Right.
So.
But didn't we know something was weird?
I feel like we did.
Like it could.
Where are my notes?
I'm going to look.
Yeah, let's go to those notes.
Where's your head out there, Matthew?
Yeah, the Sakaochi is an oracle in Skywatch,
the city in Brivoy.
Oh, Brivoy.
Massive observatory around the ice rime peaks.
Sokowatchy found a magical telescope
and transmitted a message that A'leli was able to intercept.
So maybe they never actually talked.
Maybe she just got this message.
Trying to remember. Maybe it was just us theorizing.
We were talking about when we thought we were going straight.
Yeah, I thought we were going to go straight into a fight.
And you thought we were going to go straight into a fight.
I said maybe we'll show up and the whole city will be abandoned or something or under attack or whatever.
I don't remember if we said all that on air or if we just speculated off air.
I talked about it during Happy Hour at the Regal Beagle.
Perhaps.
But yeah, I don't know what to do with this situation.
Just to catch everybody up, Brother Amius,
four hit points, no spells.
Wounded two.
Not a single spell.
Wounded two?
Wounded two.
Wounded two.
We need to long, Asta, drained two,
which I don't think I lose until a long rest.
You lose only one step of it for a long rest.
For over-rest.
Let's stop saying long rest.
Sorry.
That's a different.
Eight hours of, eight hours of rest.
Well, it specifically says overnight, not eight hours.
So I don't know if that's a difference.
Anyway, I have six hit points, so.
You have six hit points. Six. You have six hit points.
Six hit points, drain two, four hit points, wounded two.
You're drained one there, Barnsy, right?
I am not.
You're not drained.
Oh, that old lady never came near me.
That's right, Aston Buggles are drained one.
I'm drained one, yeah.
But sitting well-ish with hit points,
actually no, Buggles is.
I have eight hit points.
Yeah, we need healing and we need to sleep.
Yeah, doesn't seem like that is an option
because you've arrived in this strange place.
I described the space to you.
Why don't we go to the map?
Okay.
I'm scared.
I feel like I would go into psychosis if
all of that just happened.
We showed up somewhere and they're like,
thank God you're here.
And I'd be like, no.
Yeah. No, no, no.
No more.
No, send me back.
We need a doctor.
I once watched us try to check into a hotel
and tell them our room wasn't ready with you.
Oh yeah.
I mean, I figured it out.
You did. You sure did.
I think we'll figure this out.
You guys see the map?
Yup. Oh, oh.
There it is.
It's dark.
It's a little dark.
It's the night sky.
If you remember, I said that you could look up
through that little gap where the telescope
was shooting out of the roof
and you can see the night stars above.
Wait, is the whole, is an observatory,
like the whole ceiling is like a glass
Leaning or it's like stone and there's a city of an aquarium. I'm thinking hold on I
Get those two confused all the time
Like a cool you know what skin
It's a made-up fantasy we're like group observatories a giant glass dome. I think you mean Griffith Aquarium. I think that's.
Have you ever been to the New England Observatory?
Quite nice.
So to answer the question,
there's just no lights on in here
and the ceiling is stone.
Yeah, there's starlight and that's why I've made it dark.
You know, I try to make everything.
I could make everything perfectly lit, but that's perfect.
Kind of not. All right, so this is what it would look like if it everything perfectly lit, but that's perfect. It's kind of not.
So this is what it would look like if it was more lit, which shows off the map a little bit more.
But, uh...
Wow, it's a really big room that we're... like this is huge.
It's a large room with an extremely large phallic telescope at the center.
And there's no gate in here.
Barnes would look immediately at the telescope. This is the most defining feature of the center. And there's no gate in here. Barnes would look immediately at the telescope.
You just appear. This is the most defining feature of the room.
In addition to being large and fallow. And here's what I'll tell you a little behind the scenes, a little behind the curtain. The map that was on here wasn't quite to my taste. So I reached out to
good buddy, old Davey maps. Because I was Maps. Davey Maps. And because I was prepping this yesterday
and I was like, shit, this map isn't for me.
So I reached out to old Davey Maps,
was like, Davey Maps.
One day turnaround?
How's your night looking?
Would you be interested in making this very intricate map?
And I woke up this morning and he was like,
I stayed up all night and made this.
Oh my God. So I mean mean you don't understand how much work this must have been especially the telescope all done by hand
So big shout out to old Davey maps. I want you if you're watching this
I want you to do two things one. I want you to follow Davey maps on X. He is ol
underscore Davey D A V E Y maps And if you want to up your map game,
give this guy some work, because he's the fucking best,
but just make sure that he can do our strange AMS maps as well.
But shout out to Davey Maps.
And if you want an extremely large telescope.
Right, he's got it already done.
He's got the biggest telescopes in the business.
That's what they say about old Davey Maps.
Hung like a telescope.
Oh my.
He's not gonna be mad at that!
Hell of a piece on old Davey maps is what they say.
How dare you, he shouts.
This map is, while you were talking,
I was zooming around this map just kind of taking a peek.
Yeah, gentleman's peak.
Gentleman's peak behind the curtain.
There's a lot going on.
There is weird stuff on this like work table
or like operating table by the telescope.
There seems to be cobwebs on everything.
This place looks like it is abandoned,
like completely abandoned.
Oh yeah. Yeah, there is...
Super creepy.
A lot going on here.
Some sort of magical fusion reactor in the southwest?
Yeah, kind of an astrolabe type situation over there.
Fusion reactor.
It looks like a planet.
Or a fusion reactor, yeah.
Looks like a planetary, like a...
An aurorae.
A model of the orbits.
Yeah, a model.
But here's the thing, you don't have a ton of time to really take in your surroundings
because two things are distracting you from that.
Give us a moment for pity's sake.
One is the doors to the North-Hewist
are being bashed in.
Woods chips splintering off the door.
You see it's barred on this side,
but that two by four that's holding in place
is starting to bow
inward towards you.
And secondly, there was a voice coming from somewhere in the room.
Sounds like it's coming towards the dais.
When you first came in, the voice was like, oh, take my start.
It worked.
It worked.
And then you look at the door and the voice says, as you can see, I need some help.
And you see, coming down from the dais,
a man that looks like this.
Oh!
Hey!
What's that?
Hey!
Okay.
All right.
Hello.
Hello, hello.
Asta tries to tuck some of her fur behind her ears.
Her bloody fur.
Oh my god.
Give me a descriptor for our audio listeners
of this particular gentleman.
This tall drink of water.
Ooh.
He's wearing furs, as you mentioned.
He's got his tall, raven-haired,
he's got two braids hanging down.
Next to his sculpted high cheekbone face.
He kinda looks like an actor.
I saw it when I first saw him and then I looked away
and I can't remember but I keep trying to like.
I think he's an astronomer.
Yeah.
He looks like Daniel Day Lewis but much younger
and covered in fur.
He's also got sort of like these adornments,
like these hanging, almost looks like jewelry,
like metal jewelry off of all these leather straps.
He's got a choker necklace, stuff woven in his braids
and these cool goggles.
And unfortunately, I feel like Talitha
would have really felt a kinship to him, sadly.
Why?
The goggles, the goggles.
He looks like he's like a, maybe a,
Khalifa loves goggles.
Like a scientist or something.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Are you saying that she would feel a kinship to him
just because she also had goggles?
Yeah, like I have glasses.
When I see other people's glasses, I'm like, oh, thank God.
Thank God, I'm not the only one.
Yeah.
Oh, finally, another goggles to wear.
You wanna hang out?
You wanna go see?
You wanna go get a salad or something?
Go see stuff and then take it off and not see very well?
He looks like a cool scientist.
If only Deletha were alive.
If only she were here.
To see his fellow goggles wearing.
Gaze upon the majesty of these goggles.
She wore those goggles for three days of game time.
I didn't even wear them.
I just carried them with me.
She would have loved him.
You've done so much to talk about. Yours round? Mine are round too. They cover your eyes? Yep, yep. Goggles.
Goggles. This is what always happens, like people die and people who didn't really know the person
who died just turns them into some sort of weird martyr and they're like, Talitha would have loved this and it's like, you barely knew Talitha!
I know, I know, we wouldn't know if she would like it or not.
He's like, we don't have a lot of time to talk here, I need some help. Here, I found these laying around and he hands you some bottles, some potions.
Ramius, you immediately know they are potions of healing.
What is going on here?
Everyone get behind me.
Who is coming through that door?
Well, some sword-swinging tufts.
He takes the bottles and shatters them on the ground.
Answer me!
Answer me!
Some sword-swinging tufts chased me through the streets.
They're raiders, I know streets. They're raiders.
I know that.
They're raiders.
I didn't get a great glimpse of them, but they were wearing black armor and terrifying
war paint, which made their violent intentions abundantly clear.
Boom!
Boom!
I just ran and I managed to get into this observatory and barred the double door behind
me, but it's the only way in or out.
Boom! Boom! Just drink those! I don't think we have a lot of time.
Boom, boom, four.
Two are moderate, three are lesser.
I'll take a moderate.
I'll take a lesser.
I need a moderate.
I'm at full, so give my extra to Brother Remy
so he can take the rest of you.
All right, so I'll take a moderate and a lesser.
Pfft.
Same.
Four buckles.
I'll take a lesser, I'm fine.
Boom.
Is it 1d8 plus?
Boom.
1d8 plus, no, it's just 1d8.
Maybe take the moderate.
Two, two hit points.
Yep, 1d8 for, excuse me.
Lesser is 2d8 plus five.
Okay.
And what's moderate?
Moderate's 3d8.
Actually, I'm sorry, they were all lesser.
2d8 plus five.
Oh.
Are you, are you Sakawatchi?
Yes.
We can exchange pleasantries in a sec.
Boom, the door splinters open.
And standing on the other side of the door
are four figures that look like this.
Oh, they're goblins.
Goblins.
Ah, goblins.
They seem a little too tall for goblins.
They do have goblin-like features.
They sport the goblin ears that poor Buggles does not.
But they're a little too large for goblins
and they are covered in war paint.
They have these long, bright orange cloaks.
They are armored and they are armed.
Roll for initiative.
No, this is, I know what this is
This is if you feed goblins after midnight. This is what they turn into
Gerblins Gerblins. Alright, so it was one two, three, four five. So we decided on the healing potions
I took one everybody gets one
I gave mine to brother. Oh, okay, so then you do get two. And I'll get two.
Oh wait, he has more chance to keep the rest of the stuff.
I mean, that doesn't make any sense actually,
because I have no healing power, so.
Oh.
Just give it to Asta.
Well, you're in the front line, so just give it to Asta.
Okay.
Let me roll another.
I'm gonna take it quick.
Okay, so everybody took one.
2d8 plus five.
What did you get there, Barnsy?
Barnes got a 16.
16 for Barnes, very nice, very nice.
Brother Ramious.
Oh!
Oh, he crit his pants.
Oh!
Well, I got a natural 20, but it's like 4% cracked.
Your thoughts?
Let me investigate. I haven't touched it. It's cracked, it's cracked. Taking my headphones off. It's 4% cracked. Your thoughts? Let me investigate.
It's cracked. It's cracked.
It's 4%! Max!
If it was a bad number, what would you do?
I would re-roll it if it was a bad number.
Such a cheat.
I'm rolling a little bit of it that's floating.
You get a natural 20 for. I get a natural 20
Jiggle the box and if it falls into the 20 it will fall into the 20th. So then I
Gave it a little jiggle and it rolled to a natural 14.
Wow!
Alright, so a 14 and what's your bonus?
God damn it!
Oh my god!
No!
What would you do?
What was gonna be your rolling?
I was gonna give you the 20.
I knew it!
Take the 20!
No, I'll give you the 20.
That is kind of amazing though, you gave me the 20.
What are you gonna do when you go first anyway?
How big of a jiggle is it?
You're gonna go first and you're gonna hold.
It's a very little jiggle.
He's gonna go first and delay.
I was like, I thought...
Yeah, so who cares?
It wasn't cracked. I was like, you know what?
If this is cracked, it's less than a fraction of a millimeter.
But then when I jiggled it, it fell right down.
It's amazing. I'm shaking the hell out of my tray and it's not moving at all.
Little jiggle turned into a 14.
My favorite thing is, you're gonna delay.
Anyway. Yeah, who cares?
Alright, so we'll give you the 20. What'd you get?
I just recreated it twice. It's wild.
It's almost a natural 20.
You give it a little jiggle, it becomes a 14.
All right.
I'm doing a side experiment.
He's doing side experiments.
27, 27. All right.
I'll write what I feel like writing.
A cast?
I got a 10.
A 10, okay.
Zephyr.
14.
14.
And finally, Bugle.
16 as well.
16 as well. as well keep in mind
Wounded to this is no healing
Drained drained drained draped to Rasta
round one
brother Ramious of Lotria you are standing in the back there. Let me put
this Sakawatchi figure on the map. He's come down from the dais. Obviously
shaken, not stirred. What do you do, Ramius? Shaken, not stirred. All right, Ramius
will,
he's gonna try to tend to Asta as soon as possible.
So he's gonna move up to Asta and attempt a battle medicine.
Oh, you don't need to.
Oh, you're full?
I'm healed to full.
From one thing?
You had six hit points.
Two, you gave me another potion.
Oh, that was you, that's right.
Yeah.
And so, Buggles, you're still down.
All right, I'll move over to Buggles
and I will attempt to Battle Medicine Buggles.
Okay, keep in mind your max is lower now.
So full is not full, full.
It should do that automatically,
but let me just triple make sure.
All right, so Skids, Buggles.
Yeah, what the hell?
Just, mm.
Battle Med!
Oh, you know what?
So we talked off air.
We didn't mention this.
You know I- we talked off air. We didn't mention this. I you know, I we talked off there about
back on the night gone tickle
No one's ever watched the show
When it took him and tickled when it took me and tickled me I got sickened too
And we're now saying that I'm still sickened. He got sickle. Wait what? Yeah. Oh, yes. Yes
We didn't account for it in last week's episode
I don't think but we went through I had it off
So I feel like there was a reason it was off, but and I don't remember you retching
I definitely didn't retch. Yeah, I think you were just like I'm no longer sick
So if you get tickled by this thing, you're sick forever
Unless you retch no rest rest or retch is how I'm retch it. All right, I'm gonna wretch.
He comes through that gate, feels awful.
Ooh, I think I got it. I think I got it.
I don't even know what the DC is.
I assume it's the DC of the original effect.
It's a made up ruling. The DC can be made up of whatever he wants.
Yeah, but I have the creature.
All right, so it's a 23.
All right, so you are wretching against the S you are retching against the sickened condition from the night gods tickle
23 is a success
So I think that makes you sickened one it makes me sickened one right and now he will attempt
To do battle medicine on Buggles. Right? Yes. Okay.
Here we go.
How'd you do buddy?
I failed.
Unbelievable.
Ungod damn believable.
Officer Grimstad.
I mean, that's so horrible.
Cause I can't do it again.
Like that's it.
It's over.
Oh, you don't have continual recovery.
I have continual recovery. That's that's that's all.
Not a medicine you can only do once per hour. Oh, treat.
It doesn't for 24 hours. Wait, wait, wait.
On a target. Yeah. Is continual recovery only for treat wounds?
Yeah. Oh, I thought it was for battle medicine, too.
Oh, no. Yeah. So you're screwed.
No, you are all screwed. Yeah.
All right. That's your turn, right?
Uh, yes. Wretch Move Battle Medicine.
Wretch Move Battle Medicine.
Wretch Move BM.
It is Raider 1's turn.
Raider 1 is going to
slide into the room.
Let me just make sure I didn't move more than I'm allowed to.
No, I'm good.
Raider 1 is going to move into the room
and then
with its short bow is going to fire at Barnes.
That is a 22 to hit.
That hits.
That hits, okay. Hits you for...
Five points of piercing damage.
Ow.
Okay.
On the plus side, you haven't battled medicine to me.
Yeah, there's that. Fires at Barnes again.
Misses with a ten. That is the end of its turn. It goes to Barnes's turn. Barnes, one of these
creatures is in the room. Come on dude. Get it! Okay.
Get it! Get it! I will first exploit vulnerability.
So I'll roll my esoteric War against it.
Explain vulnerability.
17.
17, okay.
That is...
That's a success.
Okay, great.
I learned its highest weakness,
or one of the highest weaknesses,
it has multiple of the same value.
Okay.
Does it have any weaknesses?
Okay, great.
I'm going to give you some more information though.
It is a hobgoblin.
Oh, it's a hobgoblin.
Hobgoblin.
We've never run into an NPC hobgoblin on the network before, I don't think.
No, on the network we fought them in Jade Region quite a bit.
Yes, yes we did.
Oh, we did?
A lot of them in... can wood book be on my pounding glory against Troy I once I once swept away like a room of 15
hobgoblins with like a crushing wave or something oh he was so mad and I was
not I was pretending to be mad I was just glad to get done
I'm gonna go. Thank God. Yeah, all right next room
Yeah, so hobgoblins. No weaknesses. No weaknesses. Okay, then and just for the standard recall knowledge any
Resistances no, okay. All right, then that's one action
second action I will draw my
Chakram okay, and I will throw a Chakram. Okay. And I will throw it at the creature.
Okay.
Chakram tosses the Creech. 19 to hit.
Miss.
Oh.
Wait, wait.
He didn't have his shield raised, that's a hit.
Oh, okay.
Oh, awesome.
I say these guys don't look very armored.
All right. Well, I haven't hit in so many episodes. I know it's it's a rare and precious thing okay
Okay, that'll be
14 points of damage with a shock
Personally this is a heck yeah, wow
Doing something wrong really should have what it? With my implement's empowerment, it's one D8 plus five.
First one to this just adds another we.
Oh, not a we, another three.
Another we, another we.
Another we, another we three.
We, we as we say.
All right.
Well, next up is...
Buggles.
Okay. Are you done?
I'm sorry.
Oh yeah. Okay.
So this is interesting because ordinarily,
well, I can't do this now, but in my next round
I can unleash my Psyche with the Kulakan, ordinarily I can amp the spell attack to do
more damage, but I can't now because I only had one focus point left and it takes me 10
minutes to restore using the refocus ability, but I didn't have 10 minutes. So I don't have any focus point left and it takes me 10 minutes to restore using the refocus ability but it
didn't have 10 minutes.
So I don't have any focus points left.
But anyway, so brutal.
And he's desperate like he's still hurt and it's reeling thinking about how unfair this
is that we don't get a fucking second to rest is he's going to use a frostbite frostbite attack. Please give me a Fortitude save.
Okay, frostbite on the one that Barnes just hit. Fortitude save, nat 20.
Alright. With my third action, I am going to do, I'm going to restore the mind on Asta.
Ooh.
Asta's full, right?
I'm full.
I'm full.
I'm full.
Unless it's temp HP.
You need, no.
No, I'm down.
Okay, eight hit points back.
Hobgoblin is also down.
Hobgoblin.
Maybe you feel a kinship.
What about Huber?
Could be your father.
Huber might be down.
He sure could.
Oh hello.
Oh hello. So is this be down. He sure could. Hello, hello. Hello, hello.
So is this your world?
God.
So many questions.
Zephyr.
Zephyr puts away her bow and takes out her gun.
Just kidding.
Nice.
Wow.
I like it.
Zephyr's got a gun.
Zephyr's got a gun.
I know I've been fighting with my hands,
but we have it as canon that like,
I can fight with one hand and one leg.
And I don't think I ever put my bow away
because we were transferring place a lot
and I didn't know where we would go.
So I think she has her bow in her hand still.
So she gets into monastic archer stance.
One action.
She put a bow.
Second action.
Can I do Flurry of Blows if Asta is right the eye with my line of sight or should I move over?
I think you should move. Yeah, it'll get covered.
Second action.
Or you could delay because Asta's gonna move.
I was gonna move anyway for my third action.
But yeah, so flurry of blows.
Let's see it.
On this guy.
Let's see.
Come on. This is gonna be huge.
29. Gloria blows on this guy. Let's see. Come on, this is gonna be huge.
29. Oh!
Critical hit!
Critical hit!
Yes!
Run for the first crit for the first.
Critical crit, critical crit, critical crit!
Critical crit!
Critical crit!
One of them hit.
Double damage.
Do I roll it twice?
I always forget.
No, just double it.
So it's 10 points of damage from that one arrow
and give me a fortitude save.
10 points of damage.
I bet you this thing is not higher level than us is my guess.
Yeah.
Fort save is a 13.
Fail. Regular fail.
And it's not a higher level, right?
So you are stunned one.
Stunned four.
Stunned one.
Stunned one.
So it came in there.
Boom, boom, boom. And then it's been lit up and is now stunned one and not looking great. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one. Stunned one and does not have enough movement to do what I wanna do. It's going to-
The not enough action song.
I love that song.
It's a good song.
I've got a double move up in front of him basically.
And then with my third action, I'm actually,
penises in your face.
You set up the map.
All right, so I'm going to raise my shield. And that's all you need to know.
That's going to be his action.
I'd like to know more. What do we see?
What do you see happening?
I'm trying to see if you would actually notice this.
We're right there.
Yeah, what?
I don't know, it just seems emboldened by the fact that it's right next to its buddy
They're like, you know, they've got mob fighters. It's got cohesion squads like like warhammer the other one
move
my
Seduction I'm gonna do
Pulpy 25 feet up.
I'm going to double move as well.
Uh, he is going to raise his shield.
And then the last one, while you guys are getting it, just, you're getting off way
too easy here.
I understand what you mean.
Uh, the other one.
All right.
The other one is going to slide up right now.
I don't want to do there.
I'm going to double move as well and raise my shield.
So they've created this sort of formation right in front of those
shield doors.
And three of them, not the one that's already obviously been lit up,
have their shields raised and they look emboldened by the fact that
they are next to their raiding buddies.
Finish out the round, Asta.
Yeah, I mean this doesn't really change her plan.
I think Asta is still, I'm gonna do
what I was originally gonna do,
which is run up to the one that we have been hitting.
So that's the one behind.
Oh, it's the one behind.
Sorry, I got confused.
So then I will run next to the other one.
I don't know if they get an attack of all.
They sure do.
They sure do. No, but you can make it. You can go around. Yeah,. I don't know if they get an attack of all. They sure do. Well, if it's shield is up.
No, I mean, you can make it.
You could go around.
Yeah, but she didn't know that as she moved.
So that one takes a swing with long sword.
Wait, wait, wait.
But it's shield is up.
That's okay.
It won't be able to use a shield block then.
Yeah, 21 to hit.
That just hits, right?
Yeah.
I think that's just a free hit, man.
I could have gone the other way though.
Why are you making, I'm just moving it on the mat.
Because I'm holding you to the move
that you actually made without,
because you wouldn't have made that.
I thought it was the wrong goblin.
She did think it was the wrong goblin.
Though one that has a bunch of shit on it,
eight points of damage.
Sorry, I'm gonna hold you to this stuff.
That's my D.
I told you.
All right.
One, two.
Eight points of damage.
Five. What is in each of their hands?
One has a short bow out.
What are the other three that all raised shields have?
One has a short bow.
The one right next to her has a long sword.
The one up top has a short bow and the one below has a long sword.
So the two lower ones long sword.
How can they have a short bow and raised shield?
Good point.
You can't hold a shield and put your short bow. You can't draw a bow and shoot a bow with raise shield. Good point. You can't hold a shield and put your shortbow.
You can't draw a bow and shoot a bow with a shield.
They're just holding a bow and holding a shield.
I'm saying they're gonna drop the shield
before they shoot.
Is it a buckler?
I mean, that's fine.
I just think they would have to drop the shield
to use the bow.
Yeah.
It's a wooden shield.
Oh, that clears it up.
A wooden shield.
So he can't have a bow in one hand and raise his shield?
He could, but the bow, he's not going to do anything with the bow.
But then he couldn't use a bow without dropping the shield to the ground, literally.
So it doesn't really make much sense, right?
But he could lower the shield, can he lower the shield and, or no, you have to drop the
shield to fire the bow.
Stow the shield.
But it seems a weird combo to have a bow in one hand and a shield.
I think too, it was always a weird thing where bucklers you couldn't they wouldn't
let you do with bucklers either by the rules which is which I never agreed with.
Isn't that the whole point of a buckler? Yeah.
Anyway. Well anyways the the two at the bottom have long swords the one up top
just has a shield that we'll say that is the one who already got lit up just at a bow and the other one just using the shield
shield shield sword sword so the one who got lit up I am going to attack okay and
the one right next to you is the one that took the attack of opportunity yeah
and the one just so I know because I might have missed it in all the
conversation the one that we lit up did not raise its shield no yeah right okay
so that is the one.
Very stupidly took a second attack on Barnes
when it should have raised its shield.
I am going to, I guess I'll Spellstrike it.
Why not?
I'm gonna Spellstrike it.
Okay.
Which shall I use, this one, let's do this one.
All right, I'm gonna do Gouging Claw
in case I roll really low damage
to get that Persistent Bleed.
Ooh!
Oh, it's dead.
29, that's a crit. Yeah! 29, that persistent bleed. Oh It's dead 29
Phenomenal Sydney
That is going to be 13 points of slashing from just the katana. It can't be right dad. That's all right
No, I mean 13 without even doubling it. Oh
Yeah, 26 just the katana. It's dead
You just like oh, like slice its head off. Amazing. Yeah, you see the katana go through its head and then
you see this other burst of energy which is the gouging claw just rip his head open. It's
like Seven Samurai, that blood just. And Asta does the cool thing where Where she like like wipes all the blood off the katana
And she think you have Sanjuro at the end of Sanjuro Sanjuro Sanjuro. Yeah, that was a mistake
Yeah, it was a mistake when the blood comes squirting out like that
But anime adopted it to be like a thing that's part of anime when a guy gets cut in the blood squirts out
Oh, the SFX artist was just like
In Yojimbo there's no blood at all.
Yeah, there's no blood in Yojimbo at all.
And then Sinjira has that one.
It's supposed to be just a little bit of blood,
but it's sprayed out in a crazy thing,
and then anime adopted it to be a motif.
I was just watching Sinjira,
and I timed it like the moment
where they're just standing there right before the blood,
and they're staring at each other for a long time.
It's like 90 seconds.
It's an absurd amount of time of just complete silence,
complete stillness.
She's like, I should just, and there's this pause, right?
And then they both draw.
And then he's like, oh, God.
I should rewatch that.
Yeah, it's exactly that.
And then she looks at the other guy who just stabbed her
with the long sword and just looks at him.
And that's her turn.
You're next.
Yeah.
All right, his, uh... Oh, no. Yeah, okay. So it's interesting. long sword and just looks at him and that's your next yeah all right his oh
no yeah okay so it's interesting my is my my shield is still raised I can't use
the shield block attack of opportunity but I still get the AC boost yeah yeah
okay at least I believe so I yeah I'm being a penis about that because you
always try to support the rules with your movement that's why always excuse
me why do you what do you mean?
Because you were like,
oh, unless it has an attack of opportunity
that I won't do that as you move right by it.
You do this shit all the time.
So I'm gonna hold you to do it.
Fine.
I mean, I'm sorry that I'm a smart player.
That is pretty smart.
I won't apologize for just trying.
Uh, Sakawatchachi is going to say,
let me see if I, now that I get a good look at these guys,
let me see if I can figure out something about them.
Is there anything you can do in a fight?
No, no, I'm useless.
Anything at all.
That's why I ran in here.
I'm not a fighter, but maybe I can look to the-
What about your goggles?
But you look so tall and strong.
I know, I know.
Do they fire beams of heat?
I have good genes. I have good genes.
I have good genes.
He's so good looking, but you can't do it.
Your cheekbones could cut glass.
Let me look to the stars and see what I can learn about them.
And I roll a natural 20,
recall knowledge using fortune telling lore.
Oh.
It's like, they have-
We are in great danger.
They have a tax of opportunity.
Oh my God.
I wanna knock down your jam
So mad also gonna kill soco watchy. I think it's like but wait. I know more. I know more than that
When they're when they're adjacent to each other they they're they gain that they gain bonuses they they become stronger they become harder to hit
And in fact them up they have this ability known as formation. So this is what it was hinting at.
This little array of guys, they lined up.
As long as they're adjacent to each other,
they get a plus one circumstance bonus to AC
and saving throws.
And the bonus increases to plus two
on reflex saves against area effects.
So, yeah, them being close together is a boon to them.
But that one up top is not next to one anymore
Yes, that's right. Cuz this one's dead. He also is so remind me the one up top has a short bow, right?
What I'm talking about is she knows
She'll back as I've you guys help me do it
It's just holding a shield and doesn't have I feel like you can still have the short bow
But you need to drop the shield or put it away in order to use a short bow
Yeah, I could have the short bow in my hand
raising the shield, that makes sense.
Because his intention is to use the short bow.
No, what I'm saying is, it makes no sense.
You need two hands for the short bow.
But you could do it.
Right.
You need two hands for the bow, not the shield.
It's just one fighter is like,
here we go with a shield and then in one hand a bow.
I think he's like trying to, in my thought,
he's trying to assess the room by like playing defense.
Like, all right, I got these guys.
Yeah.
Fwoom, fwoom, fwoom, fwoom.
Yeah, we'll see. That's not that crazy. You can start with a shield. You only need one hand for a shield. the room by like playing defense like all right I got these guys yeah that's
not that crazy you only need one hand for a shield yeah so you also only need
one hand this quick break you're gonna play with yourself
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You done?
Because we're back!
Top of round two, Brother Ramu.
Top of round two, Brother Ramu.
Wow, that kind of went faster than I expected.
Yeah. What part? What part we say about these people?
60 second break
Okay brother Ramious really horrifying to me is that might have like their mind just don't think about it brother
Ramies is going to I was watching this show and this guy said you know me I'm
always a rule follower all right I'm. I'm a people-pleaser.
What do you got? Please. Ramius is going to... I'm sorry, Buggles. There's nothing I can do. And he's gonna push past you.
Ah!
And get...
Knock you over.
Yeah, he just knocks him over.
Throw you in the ground.
He just...
I'm limping the way!
Pushes you out of the way.
He's gonna move up 15 feet in front of Buggles about 30 feet from the Hobgoblin at the top
It has its shield raised, but doesn't have the formation bonus. Mm-hmm. It's gonna eye that creature
Just say this needs to end and he's going to fire off a divine lance at that guy. Nice. So kind of save. Oh
Yeah, I can't. I can't
retch them. Yeah, just gonna. It's an attack roll. So he's
just gonna fire off a divine lance. Natural 20 doesn't care
about Sickened. Natural 20 doesn't care about Sickened.
That is true. That's what they say. That is true. That's the
old uh. That's the old sailors yarn it
is right all right here we go
oh 18 ah really so I missed by one no wait miss maybe it maybe has like a plus
oh yeah you know it's AC is, it's 20 with the shield 21
with the formation and shield.
How?
Wow.
Trying to map your way into the map.
I think Joe just disassociated.
Joe's soul looked his eyes.
I went somewhere.
Real dark.
It looked dark.
I'm like, how did darkness, my old friend.
What the fuck?
I just stopped myself from doing something horrible.
Right.
You should thank me.
Florence, it's your turn.
OK.
Yes.
Hello, darkness.
Oh my god, it'd be great if you hit that while he went to that place.
I know.
Do it again, Joe.
Go back to that place.
I don't want to go back okay
Barnes Barnes is gonna rush up to the southernmost one okay and then he's
going to glint the mirror boom and a second Barnes will appear directly
behind him so I can flank with myself and then I will swing from the one in
the back just for the fun of. Just for the fun of it.
Ooh, okay.
Hang on.
Just for the fun of it.
I have to draw my short sword.
Oh, right, because you threw your thingy.
All right, you mind if I take that back?
I forgot to draw my short sword.
Sure, sure.
All right, so instead I'm gonna rush up to the guy
to the north.
To the north!
You got the movement speed to do that in one?
Yeah. Okay.
And I won't activate the mirror
and I'll take a swing for my third action.
No attack of opportunity on Barnes.
Because they already used the time.
The Barnes move used smartly.
Smartly.
Why, you are.
Okay, that's a 25 to hit.
Oh!
That's a hit.
That's a hit.
There we go.
Oh, I'm probably gonna hit. Okay man. That's it. There we go. I believe it.
Okay, that's gonna be 19 points of damage.
Wow.
Whoa.
Why don't you do that more often?
Because I have to roll above a 12.
Why don't you do that more often?
I don't know.
Just do that more, dude.
I don't know.
Is that a double move up there?
Or is it draw sword move, swing?
Buggles.
Buggles, so he does the Kulakan re-emerge as draw.
And he's, ah, chit-chat.
And Ignition on the one fighting Asta right now.
So that one does not have its shield up, right?
The one fighting Asta.
Or no, because it does have a shield,
but can't use
shield block to lessen the damage just raises its AC all right we'll see oh yes
nice that is a 26 to hit okay I can't amp this but I do at least get the
damage bonus from having my psyche unleashed.
That is 13 points of damage. 13 points of damage to the one next to Asta?
Yep.
It struck Asta, okay.
And then I'm gonna raise my own shield, boom.
Schwamm raises a psychic shield.
Zephyr.
Seems like we're all picking a target here.
Zephyr's gonna do Flurry of Blows
on the one to the most south with her bow.
Okay.
We should all try to hit the same target.
Let her do what she wants.
Don't tell me.
I am standing next to the dude I'm gonna hit.
I bit my tongue, I wanted to say that.
It's insane.
And the fact, I just didn't want you,
you were like, looks like we're all doing this.
We're not all doing this.
If you wanna do that, that's fine.
She should hit the one that no one is next to right now.
Barnes is at one and I'm at one.
Why would she not hit?
Because if you take one out, it's less people attacking.
The sooner we can take one out, the way higher chance of survival.
Also, they can't turn.
They can't use their ability, too.
I'm all in favor of Zephyr's original.
Yeah, Troy loves Zephyr's original. I think think there's two strategies and you have one and we have them. Yeah, okay tactically to a you should
Tactic focus your time
Never coming to your defense ever
I was just doing an impression of Kate's thought like you'd see it her face
He wasn't making laughs. he wasn't laughing at you.
But hear me out.
So I came to your defense and you joined with Kate.
This isn't actually a debate.
Like we are obviously correct.
No, you guys fight amongst yourselves, we're lost.
I'll hit the one next to us,
like I was going to do all along while you guys fight.
No, actually that was what he was doing.
It was like, he was giving you a demonstration
of what you should be doing,
which is all attacking the same target, which is Matthew. Yes
See how effective it is
Demoralized in a teachable moment learning. I feel quite demoralized
And I missed both of those
So I'm going to just try to hit one more time
Okay, which one did you decide to go for the one next to Asta? Okay?
One more time. Okay, which one did you decide to go for the one next to Asta? Okay?
No doesn't matter didn't miss miss all them anyway
My last action I'm going to
run like the dickens
Well, who's so guidance is 30
30 feet feet, right? I don't think I'm within 30 feet or no
I'm within 30 feet of a bugles.
Of bug?
And I haven't done it to you.
No.
Or wait, how long have we been awake for?
Let's see, we've done 17 consecutive encounters.
Yeah!
How many dates has it been?
Because you're, if you do,
if you give someone guidance, they're immune until. Yeah, they got, you're immune until The guy you're still for an hour an hour
So I think it's been an hour if I have given it to you. I don't think I don't
Remember you giving it to me. Oh wait
Yeah, so I'm gonna give guidance
I think it resets you go to a new plan if you jump to another planet. I think it'sets when you go to a new planet. If you jump to another planet, I think it resets. According to funnyguy4.
Who's on another planet?
The time is different there.
What happens on long turns stays on long turns.
Foggles, you can get the Guidance Bone.
Great, thank you.
It's Raider O'Clock.
Here come the Los Angeles Raiders.
All right, the one next to Asta,
who took that really awesome attack of opportunity
that they're gonna talk about for years to come.
I'm gonna kill you.
Is going to swing a long sword at your face.
Here comes the 20.
Nope, 21 to hit.
An exact hit again.
I need better.
It's like he's cheaper.
Six points of piercing damage.
Second swing at your leg
14 misses with the second swing third action raises shield son of a bee
It's gonna be a grinded out fight
Alright then one
Next to that guy is going to yeah
Let me know choice here. They get the bonuses by standing next to each other.
So he's going to take a step forward and also attack Asta.
I don't want to do this.
I don't want to do this.
I don't want to do this.
Yes you do.
Nettie 19.
That is going to be a 29, just a regular.
Regular.
Regular hit.
Your luck is not great.
You're going with it.
I should have just moved around to flanking. Oh, I didn't do that. Regular. Regular hit. Your luck is not great. Along with it.
I should have just moved around to flanking. What's the damage?
What a twit.
What a twit eye.
Because you wouldn't have the bonus from formation.
That's right. Thank you.
I was wondering why I didn't do it.
Six. Why are you helping him?
Six points. I knew why he didn't do it.
Oh, my God, I've been rolling a D6.
It's actually a D8.
You're not rerolling we're not all right so you
take 13 points of slashing damage wait come on man I gave you a little extra
damage for the one that I forgot just give a little extra rolling d6 is what's
supposed to be rolling dates supposed to be 13 total 13 total not the six no no
you take the six and then take another 13 okay I'm down wait what I don't I'm confused I hit you with the
first guy once oh this is the second guy's right this is the second guy's
six who did six and then this one just came up and did 13 which was I mean it's
fine with me this is we can just get wiped out okay that's fine you give me
explain my thought process I hit you for six points of damage right with the first guy the one that they just said six again for this guy
No, because I rolled the wrong guy right and I was like fuck so that I roll didn't count. Oh
Right sick. Okay, so I see did I say six twice you said six and then you just said 13
So you only hit me one right? He only hurt you once for 13, okay, so hold on the other guy hit you once for six
Yeah, I already did that guy, but that's why I got confused. Are you not down hold on. I'm not down
Let me just add that back hold on 13
Okay, I'm almost
I don't want you to die
But I actually kind of enjoyed these encounters like after being brutalized by that Drake like the kind of like move it around we can move
around
I just wish to be a little more equivalent level and yeah
Emily's in Paris
Emily's in pretty yeah, I want to find Emily down, but I'm not down
Yeah, and then the first round that I did the attack of opportunity that could have been more damage as well
But I'm not gonna work on that however that 13 retcons the previous guy just a tiny bit just tiny bit extra damage
I do have one more attack, and if this is a 20 I'm just gonna retcon that. However, that 13 retcons the previous guy, just a tiny bit extra damage.
But I do have one more attack, and if this is a 20.
I'm going down if it's not a 20.
And it's not gonna raise a shield, though.
Which is nice.
That's great for us.
Why are you helping him?
I'm helping Sydney.
He could miss something.
He will not miss!
All right, I'm pocket-
He's rolling a die!
I'm pocket-
Every single roll is higher than 17.
I'm bloodthirsty so I'm gonna do it.
Shit.
TROY'S GONNA ROLL
YOU'RE TOTALLY SCREWED
Miss.
So I don't get the AC bone
and I miss.
However I have one more raider and this is the one
up near Barnes.
This is Archel.
Archel.
Archel.
Free action, drops the shield and the bow.
First action, draws the longsword.
Second action, swings the longsword.
At your beautiful face.
22 to hit.
That hits.
Let me get my D8.
12 points of slashing damage. Okay.
That good.
Drop my shield so I will swing one more time.
Hell, I might swing all day.
It's so dramatic.
Put your glasses on.
They're in the car.
You got some and then you left them in the car?
I couldn't see where they were. I couldn't see where they were. What are your glasses on? They're in the car. God. You got them and then you left them in the car?
I couldn't see where they were.
I couldn't see where they were.
I couldn't just see them around at the console.
I got them, but I couldn't see it at the phone.
They're like, put them down and they're gone.
Were you wearing them when you were driving?
No, I had them on for a little bit.
I'm like, I'm 19 to hit?
Yes.
OK, so missus with that second one.
He doesn't know what your situation. With his final action, he's going to just miss. He doesn't know what your situation he said with this final action. He's going to just he doesn't have a final action
He dropped that's right. I was gonna move into formation. Well now I feel like a damn fool
All right, so these guys are a little bumbling, you know, he's not in formation there, right? He's not formation. Yeah, and
The only one that has a raised shield is the one right next to Asta. Oh. The other ones don't.
But the two next to Asta get the formation bone.
It is Asta's turn sitting on a couple hit points.
Yeah, not a lot.
It's fine.
I'll go down.
But I am going to attack.
I am going to-
You seem sad, Sydney.
Talk to me.
What's wrong?
I'm not sad.
You feel like these guys are picking on you?
No. I wish we had rested.
It's frustrating to do a fight.
We just want to take a nap.
You want some chocolate?
Yeah.
Okay, it tastes terrible.
It's right behind you.
It's right behind, it looks like Hubert pooped it up.
Have some Hubert poop.
Have a wedge of Hubert poop.
Dude, we could sell chocolate that was called Hubert poop.
Yes.
I don't know if we could. You wouldn't buy a bar of Hubert poop because I don't know if we could
I would or if it was just pellets that came in a bag
Alright, so this is uh
Joe and I went out for I went to lunch. I dragged him to this like
healthy market and I got suckered into a buy because it was like right in the counter and waiting for this crazy person who didn't know how to stand in line to
order that was it that person was insane on another person she stood I thought
it was gonna be Joe no closer to the counter than 20 feet and like opposite
from where a line and like and was like looking kind of into the store and like
on her phone and Troy kind of like went to walk past her and she's like I'm in
line and there was no one in line and the woman at the register was just like
working on like a crossword and I said did you know like right next to her I'm
like I mean literally she's standing right here I'm like she's on another
planet and then she rang up this is interesting so they had a bunch of
these chocolates Raka is the brand I don't want to shit on them,
but I was like pure cacao and strawberry and coconut.
80% cacao, I was a little worried about
because that's a lot of cacao.
That's a lot of cacao.
And it said no sugar added.
I'm like, let's go.
Look at, it's fair trade.
But this is the problem.
It's the only one that said no sugar added.
But I wanted to make sure it didn't have like other shit in.
Well, it just tastes bad.
It's, and I like dark chocolate that is bitter and
it's very bit you need a little bit of sugar sweetness but it's not a lot of
calories it was a nine dollar chocolate bar that I didn't read the price that's
the worst so I'm gonna eat every single bit of it I'm not sad anymore I feel I
feel rejuvenated invigorated really healthy I could tell you feel a little
sad I think you were mad about the attack of opportunity.
I think you felt bad that I attacked you a lot.
And I don't want you to be mad.
That's what like pilots, like U.S. pilots
during World War II would do is it's like,
they'd bomb like a German village and this kid,
it's like lost his home and everything.
There's like, here, have some chocolate.
Yeah, that's what you're doing.
It's bad.
It makes you go like this.
Oh wow, that's...
Ooh!
Oh my god, if someone gave it to you
with your eyes closed.
It said, here's chocolate.
No, it didn't even say that.
You wouldn't be able to guess that it's chocolate.
No, no.
It's really bad.
Eat this brown substance.
You know what else is great to you?
Available now.
So thank you for that.
I feel better.
You guys chased it at home.
Are you good now?
I feel like you're upset.
I feel so much better now.
We need this moment.
I feel so much better now.
Thank you.
The Hubert Poop will cheer you right up.
Alright, I'm ready.
I have an idea.
I, on the Hobgoblin to my south, who just attacked me last, who did not raise a shield.
Yep.
I'm going to first cast one of my focus spells,
which is Force Fang.
I choose a target within my reach.
Ba ba ba ba.
Here's what he's gonna do though.
You're gonna take two attacks of opportunity.
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
You're a fighter with a giant freaking sword.
I need to do my spell strike and I need to get it back.
And I need to charge it.
I'm taking the attacks over to you, I'm sorry Sydney.
I'm glad that we made up though.
29 to hit for the first one.
That's a, I need some chocolate.
I'm gonna go to bed now.
I mean, the spell strike would provoke anyway,
but just shouldn't spell strike.
Yeah, I shouldn't use spell strike.
Just hit him with the sword.
Also the one above Barnes is lower at AC and already hurt.
I also assumed the one who raised a shield couldn't take an attack of opportunity and for some reason in my head
I was like the other guy used all three of his actions. He can't take an attack of opportunity. You were playing a different game.
Just for a moment you just started playing The Sims. That chocolate reset my points.
Eleven points of slashing damage. I'm down, yeah.
Okay.
At least it wasn't a crit.
Well, doesn't matter, but.
Brutal.
It's brutal, especially to hear the logic behind it.
That's the worst part.
And I was just gonna come up and like,
kick you back in it, and now it's over.
It's round three.
Oh boy. Asta, I don't know why they put the Z's like you're sleeping. Yeah, they just take it and over. It's round three. Oh boy. Asta, I don't know why they put the Z's like you're
sleeping. Just taking a quick death nap. Quick perma death nap. Brother Ramius, you see Asta,
who's already taken an attack of opportunity, go to cast a spell within melee and immediately
take another attack of opportunity and start dying I thought they couldn't because many things they
raised their shield and used three acts it's for the best Take the chocolate. Somebody eat this.
Bar, he's gonna, he needs to help Asta, but Barnes is in the thick of it right now
and can help cut these guys down.
So he's gonna move up to Barnes.
To Barnes.
We need you.
And he's going to kind of retch as he's walking.
He's just like, ah!
Ah!
Barber over there. He's shaking, he's thinking about Asta's most recent action.
And he's.
Can you imagine like being toe to toe with a hobgobble,
like literally in a sword fight.
And someone comes up to you and just vomits on your back.
I don't need this right now. I fell on the retch. He just vomits on your back. Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! Vomit, like, ugh!
I don't need this right now.
Ugh!
Uh, I fail on the retch.
All right.
And then- One action left?
One action left.
He will Battle Medicine Barnes.
And I'm gonna go ahead and...
I'm gonna increase the AC.
I'm only down 17.
Does that make a difference?
You're only down 17?
You're only down 17.
What does it make it?
Plus two more AC or how much more?
No, plus 10 hit points.
An extra plus 10 hit points for an extra what?
Plus five on the DC.
Plus five on the DC, yeah.
So I have to roll a natty ten instead of a natty five.
But you would get ten extra hit points.
Do the lower one.
You could effectively get two hit points then.
On a success.
I could crit and you'd get forty-eight but like...
It's...
What do you have to roll to crit?
It's kind of all the marbles.
On the lower?
On the lower what do I have to roll to crit?
Fifteen or higher.
So there's a 25% chance of crit.
Yeah.
Okay, fine.
Let's try, I'll do a normal battle medicine
and just hope for high rolls.
Okay, that's all.
What did go wrong?
I don't see anything wrong with this.
Norse Foundry, here we go.
Rose Quartz.
Rose Quartz. Rose Quartz. 90, 19, oh, son of a bitch. Let's go. Rose quartz. Rose quartz. Rose quartz. 90, over your max, do you level up?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think so.
It's in the remaster.
Yes.
On 48, I rolled 8886.
Oh my God.
Holy shit.
30 points. 30 points of healing.
That's a lot of tempage.
Thank God I did that lower DC, Matthew.
You were right.
Wow.
Wow.
It's been, what, almost 10 years of doing this.
I don't think I've heard Joe say those words to me ever.
Wow.
Hell of a round for Ramis.
Hell of a round for Ramu.
But there's still three of these guys up
and Asta is down.
Your main damage dealer is down
and also in a really bad spot here against these Raiders.
Yeah, we need to focus.
Who knows what their tactics are gonna be.
We need to focus one down.
It's Barnes' turn.
Barnes, you are toe to toe with one of them.
Take him out, dogs.
Asta falls right next to you, but Barnes, excuse me,
Ramious comes up and gives you that healing touch.
Healing touch, a little bit of the vomit touch.
Yep.
Can I stand in this spot opposite to flank with myself?
Do you wanna try and create a mirror image behind yourself?
Yep, it's a tight squeeze there.
Awesome, awesome, come on!
Okay, glint the mirror, appear behind the guy,
take a swing with the short sword.
Okay, that's gonna hit with a 21.
21, yes, flanking.
Nice, oh thank god, it's not in formation.
21. Get that sweet bone, right?
15 points of damage.
And you just kill that one.
Yeah!
Yes!
Yes!
All right.
Cute.
Cute.
Humongous.
What'd you end up rolling?
21?
21.
Yeah.
All right, so I think it would've hit without the flank,
but still awesome.
OK, and then third action.
Very close.
Barnes is gonna move
The one that the new image the one behind you want to become the new Barnes parts to point out Okay, and and run out the hallway
Does the other Barnes disappear? That's the block the other one the other Barnes as soon as I move okay?
And he is going to move into
I'm not gonna move into what would be flanking with Asta.
I'm going to, cause she's down, so I'm going to stay up.
And you would also provoke.
I would also provoke.
So I will take a, basically I'll take a five foot step over or step over.
And get in melee with one of the hop up.
Okay.
That's it.
That was 10 feet of movement there.
Oh, you actually.
It was 10 feet.
You're right.
Sorry.
So you slide 10 feet and you're basically to the northwest
of the one that just took down Asta.
It is Bugles' turn.
Come on, Bugles.
Okay, so-
Me too.
Save us.
This sucks because I'm five feet too far from Asta
to be able to heal her with my Restore the Mind thing.
And I can't, if I move, I can't use it.
Lose the action, yeah.
So he's you looked so
Intelligent explaining that with the pen in your hand. I see
You looked like a professor yeah, I could get tenure just wearing this outfit
Oh, this pen, but then the Mets logo knocked you down a cow with Elgin. Yeah, that's definitely
On the committee
Lot of Keith Hernandez is there.
Oh yeah, that I'm in.
Sir, I don't need to hear anymore.
Keith Hernandez and Agardo Alfonso.
Okay, so he's just going to do a frostbite
on which one of these two is more injured?
The one to the left of Asta.
Okay, that, the one that just attacked Asta
is gonna do a frostbite.
Give me a fortitude save, please.
Fortitude save for this fella. He's in formation,
so he gets a bonus to his fortitude save, but he rolled.
Real bad.
That's going to be a 12. Okay. That's 11 points of cold damage.
11 points of cold damage.
Okay. But actually I want to talk about this
because we're learning how to play a little more tactically
or at least I'm trying anyway.
56%
And I feel like kiting is actually the best.
Kiting is probably one of the better strategies
for multiple enemies like this, right?
To draw them to you,
to make them spend the action to come to you.
But given that Asta is down and Ramius is hurt,
I just, it felt weird to let,
like if I moved to try to draw them to me,
they could just as easily move to Ramius.
Yeah, no, no, I think-
So I felt like I had to move into melee.
And Buggles too, we're both very hurt.
You're both hurt, right.
So I had, I feel like I had to stay here
and kind of keep them under threat.
Yeah, no, I think you're right.
When they first moved in and did their shield wall,
I was like, I think we should stay back,
because that's why I was calling out the short bow thing,
which ones have bows,
because they'd have to spend actions
swapping them out and everything,
if they were gonna all become a ranged line.
That's why I went to the guy in the north,
I was like, let me take out the guy with the bow,
so that these guys can lead their formation to get to us.
It's tricky because we are so melee dominant.
So like, we kinda can't.
Defer's really our only ranged,
or long range threat,
and then Buggles has 30 feet, right?
60 60 or 120. Yeah, and brother amy has hits a divine lance once every 17 episodes. Yeah, don't you remember?
Do you remember that last one basically a ranged character? Yeah, basically. I mean tonight's anniversary
I'm gonna take I'm gonna take one of these guys short pose them buggies
you gonna need action third action zoom ray shield and then
the cool icon vacates and I am stupefied. Ah, yes. Don't forget about that side burst to a lele
Maybe you guys didn't see that or hear that we definitely
Does Buggles have a memory of what. I'm asking you guys me as audience. Yeah, that's my character
Yeah, it's like he gets under the back seat of the car and the cool Akana's driving so he's screaming
No, no, no. No. Yeah, but like that's the part of him that can like reach out and kill people
No one's won the dollar no one's won the dollar dollar. Alright, here's my entry. Okay. Is it
related to the movie Me, Myself and Irene? Oh god, actually I just rewatched that pretty recently.
That's a really good movie, but I think that's a good movie. I'm circling. I'm gonna find it.
Do we have unlimited guesses on that by the way? I already gave two guesses off air.
You guys are honestly- Both of which gives a good of guesses.
Yeah, everyone's gonna be further and further away from it, so I don't know if that's...
We'll see.
Matthew said get out.
Is it get out?
Another great movie.
It could be a song.
It's Zephyr's turn.
Is it Ratatouille?
Yes, it is Ratatouille.
Ratatouille!
I want that dollar. It is Remy from Ratatouille? Yes, it is Ratatouille. Ratatouille! Yes. I want that dollar.
It is Remy from Ratatouille.
Zephyr, you are up.
You are very far away near Hubert.
I'm not that far away.
This is actually-
Comparatively.
You're the furthest away from the fight.
Floria blows with my bow on the one most to the south.
Yes, the one who hasn't.
The one that I wanted to hit
that last time no no the one next to Asta I can't I'll have to move she's
gonna it's gonna cover and also that one has a shield up that one has its shield
up okay the other one doesn't have it shield up right. All right. Relax over there, sir. I'm just nervous for Barnes.
Well, your turn is soon.
Twenty.
That one has its shield up, right?
No, the one on the bottom, you said, didn't have it shield up.
Because it took all of its actions.
It has formation.
It has formation.
It doesn't have its shield.
Oh, the shield.
Exactly it.
The shield would have made it twenty one. Huh? That that's it. Yeah, and then the second one nuts
Nuts and crap. Oh, oh, sorry. I'm doing mass. I'm I don't I don't know how to do it. So I'm like, oh
23 oh
23. Oh, that's two hits.
Wow.
Yeah, phenomenal.
Zephyr.
Two hits, so that means DA.
You got this, just kill it.
Why didn't I raise?
Seven points of damage, fortitude save please.
Seven total?
Seven total, yeah, that's one D8 for each of them.
All right, fortitude save, come on.
20.
That's a pass.
So you're not stunned.
We really need to get you a striking rune.
Well, you guys fight over them like ravaged animals
every time we get one.
We're still waiting.
We have them.
We're still waiting to convert them.
We just need to not be in combat for
Maybe we just need to be level four.
You got some more actions.
Yeah, so that was one action.
Second action.
Yeah, so that was one action second action
Let's see, I know I've already given given guidance to Barnes. I just gave it to Buggles Asa is down. I
Feel like I might have to brother Ramias as well
So like moving guidance and giving it to him while he was trying to escape from the night gone. Yeah, I think I did. I believe so.
So I'm just gonna try one more time to hit the bottom one.
Why not, right?
I know why not.
Nope.
That one didn't hit, it was a natural two.
Going close right there to...
And then the last action, I guess I'll just, I don't know.
I don't want to move either because this is where my range
should be for this.
Maybe she gets out of monastic archer stance for an action.
Okay.
She's going to get up into combat.
Time to go crazy.
Speaking of crazy, it's crazy that we need another death save from Asta DC
11 natural one wait what did I three? I'm dying currently I
Don't know is DC 11. Well wait. Why is it DC 11 because you're dying one right?
10 plus your
Because you're dying one right? 10 plus your
I think you weren't wounded like other people
50% chance
I mean only a natural one would take you
to dying three
but anything less than 11, more than
a 50% chance you're gonna go to dying two
If you roll 11 or higher you still lose
On the spot
11
You ready? Go
Natural five. You go to dying two.
What a way to start a book. Sid having a rough start.
Book two. I can't believe you've done this. I can't believe you've done this.
Troy. There are two Raiders still up, and Barnes and Ramia sitting over there at Wounded 2
are the most viable targes.
Raider 2, though, is right next to Barnes.
Longsword out.
Think it's all fun and games. Think it's all fun and games.
It gets all fun and games.
Two tactical mishaps on your part.
I know.
I'm gonna kill everyone.
Stop.
I'm not trying to, you want some more chocolate?
No, I don't want more chocolate.
Please, you want some more chocolate.
You didn't offer me any chocolate, I would like some.
You don't want the chocolate.
Because she accepted the chocolate.
I gotta know how gross this is.
It's not a gift.
Oh.
No, you left it, ew, it's on the table. It's not a gift, it's a curse. He's trying to hurt you with the chocolate. I gotta know how crusty it is. It's not a gift. Oh. No, you left it, ew, it's on the table.
It's not a gift, it's a curse.
He's trying to hurt you with the chocolate.
My gift, my curse.
Everyone watch Kate eat this chocolate.
Yeah, she's going little tiny bite, little nib.
Yeah, it's just drying out your mouth, isn't it?
Really good for a podcast.
Passing a chocolate bar around.
It gets worse, doesn't it?
It's so bad.
There really is no sugar in that.
Pure cacao, strawberry and coconut.
I don't get that at all.
I don't taste any coconut.
I just taste bitter, bitter, long sword at your face.
Well, do I want to get the flavor?
No, long sword at your face.
I haven't rolled in that 20 in a while.
Crack time.
Got a busy tray here.
Busy tray.
Okay.
Missed natural four.
Wow.
He never misses on the first attack.
Second attack.
Now he's gonna roll natural 20.
Don't even think about it.
Natural three.
Yeah.
Okay. Oh my it. Natural three. Yeah! Okay.
Oh my God.
All right.
Man, seeing you guys struggle with that little extra.
I'm gonna raise my shield for my third action.
Now,
as beautiful as Ramius looks over there,
getting my formation bone is clutch.
So this one is going to move up next to
this one first action second action swing with the long sword busy tray stop
saying busy tray 20 40 that hits oh hits for 12 points of slashing damage that's
what you hit me for last time how much 12 12 points of slashing damage. That's what you hit me for last time.
How much?
12.
12 points of slashing, and I too will raise my shield.
So, in formation, raise shield for both of them.
Top of round four.
Brother Ramius.
Brother Ramiusus I am
And it's tricky with Barnes here. All right, I am going to I
Don't think
Do I have?
Do you do good? I don't do theugudugudugudugudu. Shubadubadubadubadubadu.
Brother Ramius is going to
cast
he's going to close his eyes
reach out his hand
pull in the vital energies
of the room within
Asta. He will stabilize
Asta ice.
Thank you.
So dying condition goes away.
Just wounded one.
Zero unconscious.
And then he opens up his eyes
and prays for the protection of
Gruhasta as a bluish
glimmering shield of magic
comes up in front of him and he'll cast shield on himself. Bwawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawaw whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Zephyr was going to run up on her turn in flank. I don't know if you would want to wait for that or not.
I would.
I'm also considering hitting and running
and I could draw them to you.
I have enough movement speed.
They'll just come after me.
Yeah, all right, I will hold.
Stick Archer's too.
Yes.
You're gonna wait?
I'm gonna hold.
Okay, I'll hold my Barnes.
Buggles. Okay, Bugg hold by Barnes. Buggles.
Okay, Buggles, reeling, stupefied,
is going to attempt to do a fiery frostbite, not...
Natural 11, made the flat check,
and please give me a fortitude save.
Okay, is it the one that is more hurt, next to Asta?
Yes, the most hurtiest one.
The most hurtiest one.
All right, so fortitude save for this guy in formation.
Uh, 22, excuse me, 24.
Okay, that is a regular save,
so you take four points of damage.
Okay.
Frost damage?
Fire damage.
I just, oh wait.
Five, five points of damage.
Five points of damage, okay.
Ooh.
And with my third action,
he's just going to kind of stumble
a little bit closer to the group.
Stumble.
Five foot step.
Closer to the group.
Zephyr.
Zephyr.
First action, puts away her bow.
So I don't want to hold it.
And then second action, 35 feet of movement
up to the guy right next to Asta.
You want to get him flanking,
you get him right there to look.
Oh, is that where I want to be?
Yeah. Okay.
Meow.
And then third action, flurry of blows with her fisty fists.
Okay. On that one.
Come on, Zephyr.
On one. It's action, Kate. Action, Okay. On that one. Come on, Zephyr. One.
It's action, Kate.
Action, Kate.
Action, Kate.
If you have to ask.
18, no, 17.
Miss.
Next one.
Great, 17.
17.
10.
You got your bonus. 10. You add your bonus. 10.
10.
Brutal.
Absolutely brutal.
Uh.
D20.
For the audio listeners, Sydney is
cutting herself.
With her own blood.
They don't say Action Zephyr,
okay?
They say action Cade.
Anyway, that's my turn.
It was bold. You ran up into the-
I'm flanking at least now.
You did great.
Barnes, I assume you want to take your action.
I do want to go. So I'm going to go after the one I'm flanking with Zephyr on.
Flanking with Zephyr on.
Okay. You could take this guy out.
Daddy 19.
Yeah!
Yeah, baby.
28 to hit.
Dead.
It had one hit point left, it's dead.
Yeah!
Oh, one hit point.
Okay.
Ah!
Yeah, so then I will glint the mirror
and appear in flanking with the other one.
Mm-hmm.
Boop.
Boop.
Okay.
So I'll appear to the south of it.
Gotcha.
So I'm gonna take the second attack, no longer in formation. the south of it. Gotcha.
So I'm gonna take the second attack,
no longer in formation.
No longer in formation.
Yeah, it doesn't have a shield out, does it?
It does.
It does have a shield.
It does have a shield, no formation, no.
No formation, and it's off guard,
so effectively it's its regular AC.
Yeah, I missed, 16 to hit.
16 to hit.
It's a miss.
Okay.
Oh, this guy is dead now.
We won!
It's over.
Yeah, I'm gonna be surrounded.
He must be so scared.
I would be scared.
Surrounded by mostly dead bodies.
Mostly dead bodies.
Of his friends.
It's true.
Hmm.
Terrifying.
I'm considering moving, but then I provoke,
but he could miss on the, yeah, I'll stay right here.
Stay where you are.
Asta. Am I, well, actually let me right here. Stay where you are, Asta.
Am I, well actually let me ask one question.
Am I in the way of anyone's, in Bugles,
does this matter for you?
No, I can just keep doing frostbite
which doesn't require an attack roll, so.
Asta, you're unconscious, yes?
Yes, I'm stabilized.
Taking a nice little nap, stable longer.
Zero hit points though.
Dying, it is the one remaining Raider's turn
and he attempts to flee. Oh, you see.
Do you have an attack of opportunity?
No.
Son of a B.
Runs.
Son.
Out the door.
Son of a B.
Will you pursue?
We'll find out next week.
Oh!
He got you off!
Got tired of thinking about it, but we won! Yeah! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha to make your membership official. Start your 30 day free trial today and become an official member of the Naish
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