The Glass Cannon Podcast - Gatewalkers Episode 58 – Raiders in the Lost Dark

Episode Date: November 1, 2024

Barnes' decision to give chase leads the party into a desperate battle. Watch the video here: https://youtu.be/Lvp667Umu20 This episode was sponsored by Foundry VTT and Norse Foundry. See why tabletop gamers everywhere have made the switch to Foundry Virtual Tabletop at https://foundryvtt.com/gcp For all your random number-generating needs, visit Norse Foundry at https://norsefoundry.com Get $5 off your next order of delicious cereal at https://magicspoon.com/GCP. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. Watch new episodes when they premiere every Thursday at 8PM ET on youtube.com/theglasscannon. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You are listening to the Glass Cannon Network, the premier source for role-playing game entertainment. Last week on the Glass Cannon Podcast. The final raider on its turn rushes out the door. Do I think I could pursue him? You certainly could. Here's what's going through Barnes' head. We've been beaten. We could use a minute to get together

I don't think we would put a press our luck I don't know there's any evidence that he would bring people back. There's no evidence that he wouldn't either I'm gonna give chase for at least a little bit. Oh See what's up? I guess another encounter man ever you won't get away my friend. He sees Barnes moves 20 feet onto this bridge into the night odds What are you doing? I'm gonna close on the guy and take a strike Barz moves 20 feet onto this bridge into the night. Barz! Shifting. What are you doing?

Barz is gonna close on the guy and take a strike. Oh my God. At that moment. Oh God. Stop. You see another one waiting around the corner. Oh no. No, no, no.

And you see another one. No. Oh no. I'm going to glint the mirror. Into the moonlight. Another Barz will appear in midair above the water. Barnes falls. I mean, Buckles is gonna run up into the alleyway here. At that moment, around the corner, another Raider.

Oh. We need, oh. Buckles, no! Oh, 28 points. Dying too. Piercing damage. I don't think we should have come out here. I don't think we should have come out here either. It's Zephyr. Bitch. Buggles is down, lying in a pool of his own. Red blood? Red blood over there? I want to like pick up Buggles and run away.

That's what she would do. Here comes the attack of opportunity. Survive this and there is a chance. The adventure continues now. I'm gonna be the one to make you feel better I'm gonna be the one to make you feel better I'm gonna be the one to make you feel better I'm gonna be the one to make you feel better I'm gonna be the one to make you feel better I'm gonna be the one to make you feel better I'm gonna be the one to make you feel better I'm gonna be the one to make you feel better I'm gonna be the one to make you feel better I'm gonna be the one to make you feel better

I'm gonna be the one to make you feel better I'm gonna be the one to make you feel better I'm gonna be the one to make you feel better I'm gonna be the one to make you feel better Happy Halloween, Glass Cannon Nation! It's a special day here in the studio, because not only is it Halloween night while you're watching this, it's also Skid's birthday! Hey! Happy birthday, Happy birthday. He's a good fellow. He's a good fellow.

He's a good fellow. He's a good fellow. He's a good fellow. He's a good fellow. I wish you a happy birthday. Wish somebody good tonight. If we could, we'd lift you up. Make a wish.

Blow a cat made of blood out. I wish it'd stop. It seems like a sad birthday. It's also the day after Matthew's birthday. Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! pandemic's birthday. All right. Rule of threes. Now, it's funny. Poor Paula.

We're recording this, obviously. Sorry, Paula. The rules of comedy prevent me from wishing that. We can't. It just wouldn't be funny. It just wouldn't be funny. It wouldn't be funny if we saw. Among all people, she would understand.

We love you. We're recording this in the past, but we're celebrating it in the future because we won't be together on the actual day, most likely. And so, it's funny. We're going to be recording this in the future. We're going to be recording this in the past, but we're celebrating it in the future because we won't be together on the actual day, most likely. And so, it's funny.

We're recording this in the past, but we're celebrating it in the future because we won't be together on the actual day, most likely. And so, it's funny. We're recording this in the past, but we're celebrating it in the future because we won't be together on the actual day, most likely. And so it's fun to still celebrate even though when you watch this- First of all, we're not celebrating it in the future. Yeah, we are. Wait, we're not?

We're celebrating it in the past. I got lost thinking about it. We're celebrating it in the present. I think everybody is very confused. Time is unreal. Yeah, you just it in the present. I think everybody is very confused. Time is unreal. Yeah, it is time-consuming. Wait a minute. I did.

My brain went to a place that I didn't want to go, and now I don't know where we are. I think it's fun because you get to do it twice. It's like now and then in the future when it's the day, you'll look back and you'll go, ah, it's different than what it is now. Like a now and later. Like a candy you might receive in your trick or treat bucket. Such a pro. Nice.

The skid or do skid. Do kids still get? Don't skid. Do kids still get now and later? Skid is an anagram for kids. That's right. Oh. Wow.

Think about that for a second. It's also an atom you have for dicks if you don't spell it right. What? Jesus. That'd be like a Dutch spelling. Dicks. This is the third time we brought up dicks. We've tried dicks so much today. Since we've been sitting in these chairs.

It's my first. There's been a lot of peanut stock in the pre-show, but I want to hear where you were going with this. Do kids still get now in leaders? Is that a thing? I think it is. I feel like I saw one in Archer and Dash's bucket last year. Because you know what?

I think they come in those like big candy packs where it's like you get Smarties, you get now and later. It's kind of like, what is all this candy? It's like random candy. I don't want to be a frugal fanny, but do you know how expensive Halloween candy is? Oh, it's ludicrous. Oh, yeah. They know they got you on the hook.

It's insane. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, buy it earlier. Just buy it earlier. It's just safe. No, you have to buy it the hook. It's insane. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Buy it earlier. Just buy it earlier. It's just saving.

No, you have to buy it the day after and save it for a year. So buy earlier if you mean one year in advance than yes. 364 days. That's what I mean. That's what it's like now and much later. Yeah. And that's when you give the kids a Milky Way and they open it up and it has that chalky whiteness around the corner.

And as a parent, you're like, it's fine. It is fine. The chocolate're like, it's fine. It is fine. The chocolate oxidized. It's fine. It's the same thing that grows on a dog turd after it's left for a few months. Okay. Were you ever worried as a kid about popping open a Milky Way and there would be a razor

blade inside? Absolutely. You were worried about that? Every year. Never. In a sealed Milky Way? That's what they told us. They told us that there are apples.

Killers out there. And they lied. It was like the satanic panic for Halloween. And it was made up, right? Like it was... I think it happened like... It was an instance. Right. One instance, that's all it took to be like, well, check your kids' candy. Because you could slip a razor blade right in there and you'd just, you'd see a little seam. Kids don't know. It's insane. They pop it in their mouth. It's insane that razor blade was the choice. Like poison. Do poison in a food. Why would you put a razor blade in food?

Well, do you know about... It's so much easier to get a razor blade and put it in food than to concoct poison. You realize that there was a time when like pill bottles didn't have safety things on them, and someone went and got eye drops once, boop boop, went blind because someone poisoned it. Now that's why there's a safety seal on eye drops. Well, it was the whole Tylenol scare, like back in the early 80s. Wait, what happened to the Tylenol?

There was someone was like poisoning bottles of Tylenol, I think in the Chicago area. And that's the whole, like there were no safety seals on bottles before that. Yeah, I think, yeah, Johnson and Johnson own Tylenol and they masterfully handle the way that they did that they like, they lost millions of dollars, but their brand grew because of it. Well, they pulled every pill off the shelf globally.

Yeah. Wow. I didn't know that. So I see a lot of it in a lot of businesses. We learned about it in business school. It's a famous business thing. Like when you mess up real bad, just do this. Do the Johnson and Johnson.

Do the Johnson and Johnson. But that was one of those big panics when I was a kid. That was one of the huge panics that went on. There were so many. There was a lot. But that was one of the bigger ones. Halloween candy or Tylenol? Well, Halloween candy too.

I mean, there was a huge panic obviously about Dungeons and Dragons, daycare centers, and Tylenol? Well, Halloween candy too. Yeah. I mean, there's a huge panic obviously about Dungeons and Dragons, daycare centers and Tylenol. What was the daycare center of fear? Everyone thought Satanists were running them. Really? Yeah, they were like sacrificing children and like, it would, when you think about it today, it's like, yeah, it's like, it was like, just, it's an object lesson that there have been really stupid people panicking about bullshit for at least the last several decades. Right. The more things change, the more things stay the same. I think we've come around on daycare centers and Tylenol.

I still think we're in Dungeons and Dragons, but I still think the jury might still be out on razor blades and Halloween kit. I think it's a bummer you can't give baked goods at Halloween. I understand why because, yeah, you don't know where it came from. You don't know all your neighbors, especially nowadays, but it's like, I don't know. Whereas I know every person that made this Milky Way. My wife, she got back into the sourdough making. She makes killer sourdoughs and she's like, I'm going to bring a sourdough over to the neighbors. I'm like, okay, cool. I'm like,

if they give us one, how would you throw it in the trash? Because I'm not eating someone else's food. That's just part of the problem. I'm part of the problem. But why? Because they touched it with their hands. Okay. Because they're unclean. They may have not. I don't know what their conditions are. Do they have an A rating? Do they have a cat that hangs out on the counter? Right. Yeah.

It's a dog that's like, oh, sorry, the dog got in the bowl. Swipe these rat droppings out of the way. Dog people are weird. Oh, sorry, the dog uses the toilet too. As opposed to the dingy corporate factory that has a lot of a certain number of flies per square foot. Right, rat drop.

We talked about rats recently. Yeah, I don't know. As a bit of a hypochondriac, I'm not as worried about the razor blades and the candy anymore, but I do go in there and just make sure everything's okay. What candy are you picking out for yourself? What are you eating? Wait, wait, wait, wait. You do? You check every piece of candy your kids eat? I look in there. Shuffle the bags.

I look around, make sure there's no guns in there. But you're not. Cigarettes. Who gave you all the BBK? Little archer. I look around, make sure there's no guns in there. All right, but you're not. Cigarettes. Why are you fuzzing out guns? Who gave them? There you go. Little archer. Are you Batman?

And it's just a pack of Newports. Dolls. So far, we're getting way off track. We went to a San Gennaro festival. It's a big, big one in our hometown. People come from all over to the San Gennaro festival. And the prizes, they're so out of date. I just saw this toddler walking around with a machine gun.

And I was like, oh, I'm going to get a gun. And he's like, oh, I'm going to get a gun. And I'm like, oh, I'm going to get a gun. And he's like, oh, I'm going to get a gun. And I'm like, oh, I'm going to get a gun. And he's like, oh, I'm going to get a gun. And I'm like, oh, I'm going to get a gun. And he's like, oh, I'm going to get a gun. And I'm like, oh, I'm going to get a gun. And he's like, oh, I'm going to get a gun. And I'm like over to go to the San Gennaro Festival. And like the prizes, they're so out of date.

I just saw this like toddler walking around with a machine gun. I'm like, that, and it looked like a machine gun. It didn't look like a Nerf gun. I'm like, these prizes are from like the 70s and 80s. Anyways, that is so inappropriate. It's like either a machine gun or a naked girl for a kid. You were asking me what my favorite candy my go-to is Yeah, or what do you what do you take from like your kids bags and you're like that one's for daddy

I mean, I take a lot. Yeah, I take all the best ones. Yeah, take all the good stuff, which is yeah You guys shouldn't be eating this much For me, it's just the candy bars every candy bar every candy bar Snickers Milky Way I actually like three musketeers a lot. People don't. I love it. Oh, I love Three Musketeers. What's wrong with it? People don't like Three Musketeers?

Yeah, there's people out there that don't like the all-Nougat-y like consistent. Oh, I love them. Oh, really? Oh, great. They're one of my favorite candies. Oh, yeah. They're really good. Frozen, too.

Frozen is good. And then I'll leave the kids Smarties, Skittles. That's just cruel. Now and Laters. Now and Laters. I'm going to call social services. Jawbreakers. Oh my God. Atomic bombs.

So you just like chocolate. Yeah. That's what you're saying. Well, and nougat. And I also love saying nougat. I think that's also chocolate. Nougat? It's whipped chocolate.

Is it? It is. It's whipped chocolate, yeah. Oh. I'll tell you, I like anything Reese's, anything with chocolate and peanut butter, I'd go for those. But you can very quickly OD on those. And calorie wise, it doesn't take a lot to like really tip the scale with those.

So I like a Kit Kat. Same. Love a Kit Kat. Love a best candy. And they've got lots of different Kit Kats now. See, you're right though. It's one of my favorites. Reese's Pieces, oh delicious.

Four, five, sick. It's too much. Butter fingers. I'm sorry, you mean Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. Butter cups. Oh yeah, Reese's Pieces. Four Reese's Pieces makes you sick? That's too much.

I can eat a hundred. Do you have time? I can eat a hundred. Do you guys remember when we were in Toronto and they had pretzel Reese's Pieces in Canada? In the bodega that we went to. In that bodega? I don't remember what the bodega was.

They were in the dressing room. Oh. They were unbelievable. Maybe I should make that one. Crunchy, salty. I like a Butterfinger. Oh, give me a Butterfinger any day of the week. But one. What's better, Butterfinger or Fifth Avenue? Butterfinger. Butterfinger. Oh, give me a Butterfinger any day of the week. But one. What's better, Butterfinger or Fifth Avenue?

Butterfinger. I like that it gets stuck in my tongue. I don't like that that was just so quickly decided. Yeah, I mean, that was way too quick. Way too quick. If I ever saw Fifth Avenue, by the way, in a bucket, I would go to that house and be like, you're cool. Yeah.

Because you just never see a Fifth Avenue. I haven't seen one in some time. They changed the recipe for Butterfinger because it used to be really crunchy, like wafery. You just never see it at that point. I haven't seen one in some time. But they changed the recipe for Butterfinger because it used to be really crunchy, like wafery. And now it's like a gum kind of base thing. Oh, really? I haven't had them in a while.

And it forms this glob in your mouth, which is like a milk gun. Because all modern food has embalming liquid now, because it's owned by cigarette companies. Embalming liquid? Oh my gosh. What is wrong with you? You know that they're all trying to kill us, right? Stop eating processed food. You're doing a terrible job.

We're doing the bracket. Butterfinger, Fifth Ave. OK, you pick Fifth Ave. This is a tournament? Fifth Ave, Heath Bar. Fifth Ave. Fifth Ave. I don't even.

Heath Bar makes me poop. I don't. What is Heath Bar? You mean Heath Bar right now? You can be Heath Bar right now. I won't. What is what? You mean Heath bar right now? I'm upset. You can make Heath bar right now, I won't make it through the episode. Why?

For since the beginning of time, toffee goes, yum. But you're not exaggerating. You eat a Heath, and within 60 minutes, poop comes out. By the first break,

I would be like uncomfortable for the rest of the episode. So toffee, I think you're confusing toffee and coffee. No, I know what I said. Okay. Heath bar, oh, you get a Heath bar coffee ice cream?

Forget it. I can't come to work. Ben and Jerry's is there, I'd have that after a rough day. Yeah, I love toffee. Wow, interesting. Yeah, it's good stuff. I don't dislike the Heath bar. I love the Heath bar.

Oh, it's good. Nice pop. You know what? I never eat a Heath bar. I don't know if I've ever had one. Really? I have had Heath ice cream, a Heath topped ice cream. I don't think I've ever eaten a Heath, I don't know if I've ever had one. Really? I have had Heath ice cream, Heath topped ice cream. I don't think I've ever eaten a Heath bar.

I don't like Heath bar. Yeah, they're not my thing. I couldn't tell you what it is. They remind me of Heath Ledger. I get real bummed out. Yeah. That's the reason. I'm bummed out.

You can overdose on Heath bars. That's what he did, I think. Jesus. He was like, hi, this candy bar is named after me. And he just fucking went to town. Right, the un-E Hollywood story. Oh, man. Sad, sad moment.

Yeah, they're good candy. OK, what about you? Noticeably quiet. What's your favorite season? Kit Kat. Kit Kat. Kit Kat's fantastic. Kit Kat's my favorite kid.

Have you had the chocolate covered donut Kit Kat? No. You want a cream in your jeans, folks? Yes. Try the chocolate covered donut Kit Kat. No. You want a cream in your jeans, folks? Yes. Try the chocolate covered donut. Doesn't say Kit Kat bar, it doesn't sound like anything special. It is out of this world.

It's the Kit Kat. You're not talking about a donut that is. No, it's a chocolate, I think it's chocolate donut Kit Kat. Hell yeah. While you're looking at it. Kit Kat chocolate, chocolate frosted donut. It's like a light tasting candy too, with like the wafer. They come in the perfect size at it. Yeah, Kit Kat chocolate, chocolate frosted donut. It's like a light tasting candy too, with like the wafer.

They come in the perfect size when it's mini, and it comes in like a million flavors. You know what I've never tried, and I'm actually physically angry they made? White chocolate Kit Kat. Hate them. Disgusting idea. No, they are good.

They were sent to the old studio. He loves chocolate, So he's going to have such a weird thing about white chocolate. You know how he bars make Troy poop? Yeah. White chocolate makes me vomit the instant it touches my mouth. It's a nemedic. It's like, yeah, they could use it in hospitals. I agree. Hate white chocolate. I do enjoy the green tea Kit Kats, which are like a green tea white chocolate. I saw those and I was like that also. That's for a certain type of... That also seems gross.

So you don't like it? I like green tea. I think Grant brought in a whole bunch of flavors. Yeah, wasabi Kit Kats and stuff. Oh, the wasabi one. Oh, I do remember that. So good. Yes.

This was the Japanese thing. Like it was the Japanese market. Did you get them in Japan or did someone send them? I think he did. So good. They did. They had like a ton of like different flavors over there. A lot of malls now will have like a, you know,

Asian food market and they'll have like Doritos from Hong Kong and stuff. And they'll have these crazy flavored Kit Kats. How about a Big Cat? Yes. Huge in Europe, the Big Cat. And the Big Cat tastes different in Europe than it does here in America.

It is out of this, you never had a Big Cat? Not all the time. Love a Big Cat. Because it defeats the purpose, my opinion of having a Kit Kat. Sure. But it's fun. It's not of this. Never had a big cat? Not all the time. Cause it defeats the purpose, my opinion of having a Kit Kat. Sure. But it's fun. It's not an everyday Kit Kat.

Yeah. I don't like it. What about like those, what is the term for the like, the like, I want to say mothbally. What's the, what sort are we looking for? Whoppers? Whoppers.

Like whoppers. The worst candy. What is that? Malt chocolate. Malt chocolate. There are, I'm not a fan, but there are worst candy. Give me Smarties or from Whoppers. Whoppers. Whoppers. Like Whoppers. The worst candy. What is that? Malt chocolate. Malt chocolate. There are, I'm not a fan, but there are worse candies. Give me Smarties or from Whoppers. I like Smarties. We can do buy Ovaltine and just pour it in your mouth.

Ugh. I kind of like them. I kind of like them. Really? Yeah. I hate Edom. I'm like, ugh. What about Milk Duds?

Yes. Milk Duds. Oh, loved them when I was a kid. A little too much now on the teeth. I love them. Yeah, I love the taste. I love them. A little too, Sugar Daddies?

Sugar Daddies. Oh, too much now. That's a lot. That's a lot. Like a Charlton Chew, it's work. I love them. A little too, sugar daddy's? Sugar daddy's. Oh, too much. A lot on the teeth. It's a lot. Like a Charleston Chew, it's work. Oh yeah. What about a Tootsie Roll? You know what I like?

The flavored Tootsie Rolls, they're called Fruitsie Rolls. Oh really? At the Santa Claus parade when I was growing up, they would throw those at the parade like the Amvets, the Knights of Columbus would throw these and I would just gather cherry, lime, vanilla. Yeah. So fucking good. They are good. Haven't we talked about this?

The thing about a Tootsie Roll is that every Tootsie Roll you eat contains a little bit of the original Tootsie Roll. Yeah, we've talked about this before. I think we've talked about all this, but I'm still enjoying it. I'm loving it. You can only forget about what you're talking about. No one said Twix.

Twix is my second favorite. Oh, Twix is phenomenal. You know what's nice? Halloween Twix, you can eat like 70 of them. It's also the perfect size for Halloween. Like a small size. What about Mike and Ikes? Mike and Ikes are, I was gonna say,

nobody has mentioned any non-chocolate candy and Mike and Ikes are my favorite. I love Mike and Ikes. Hot tamales? Oh, sure. No, thank you. I like a hot tamale. No, no on the hot tamale.

I like a hot tamale. You gotta eat them slow though. They'll burn your mouth. Swedish fish? Oh yes. I love Swedish. I'll eat them. Yeah. Justin, I'll eat them. Brody's a Swedish fish. Brody's raising his hand. Love. Swedish fish? Oh yes. I love Swedish. I'll eat him. Yeah.

Justin, I'll eat him. Brody's raising his hand. Brody's raising his hand. Love a Swedish fish. Dude, Swedish fisher. Phenomenal. The kids love Sour Patch Kids. That's their jam, John.

Yeah. I also, well, I've been on that group. Obviously Matthew, yeah. Matthew has a problem. I believe you're what we would call addicted to Sour Patch Kids. It's a real problem. We have to stop Matthew.

Mira received something like a birthday party goodie bag and I was like, you are way too young for these. Passed them over. Evil. Well, I hope your Halloween is as exciting as ours here in this studio. Nailed it. You stole my wish. Kids love eating cereal, but we adults, we don't want all that sugar and most cereals

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cook. I do like, like I said, I wasn't allowed to eat those cereals when I was a kid, but I was so jealous of the other kids in my neighborhood that were able to eat those delicious sugary cereals when I was a kid, but I was so jealous of the other kids in my neighborhood that were able to eat those delicious sugary cereals. And I was so jealous, but now it's like I have those today, but without all the drawbacks, the flavor, it really is great. It's crunchy texture. It's really delicious. I love the chocolate one. I love getting the chocolate milk in the bowl when you're done. It just feels like just great times of the stuff that people had when they were kids. And I love to eat it late night snack. It's a great late night snack for me.

Get $5 off your next order of delicious cereal at magic spoon.com slash GCP, or look for magic spoon in your nearest grocery aisle. That's magic spoon.com slash GCP for $5 off magic spoon. Hold on to the dream. We're back everybody. And I want to thank our Halloween sponsors, Norse Foundry. I'm wearing a Norse Foundry t-shirt. You can't see it, but it's there. And of course, Foundry virtual tabletop. We love those guys. Still looking for some more sponsors for Campaign 3, which will be starting in two weeks. Two weeks.

We're going to do a bi-week. I need a week. Fifth Ave? You're out there. Hey, come on. Sponsors. Now and later, it'd be a perfect sponsor. We say this all the time, but it's never been worse, right?

It truly never been worse than this moment. Like we say all the time, like, at least I, yeah. Oh, man, this could be a TPK. Oh, man, this could be... This's truly never been worse than this moment. We say all the time, like, oh man, this could be a TPK. This situation has never been worse. I'm usually pretty toxically positive about this. I'm prepared to die. And I think also it's weird. Maybe because we've lost characters, but we're all smiling and we're like, this is bad.

This is really, really bad. And I don't know if we're all mentally already prepared, but no one seems solemn and quiet. We're all just like really bad. And I don't know if we're all mentally like already prepared, but no one seems like solemn and like quiet. We're all just like, bad. Skid seems a little sad today. And I'm wondering if it's because of the show, your team just got in the playoffs. Is it about the show? Well, the Kenbei Mutombo died.

Yeah. Honestly, like I haven't been this bummed about a celebrity passing since I think Phil Hartman. Oh, I'm sorry, Skid. I was like, it really fucked me up. It was at his, the draft party where the Nuggets drafted to come in Matumbo, that Rocky, the super mascot, the fucking reactionary cat-a-mout

with a lightning bolt to his ass for some reason. Made an enemy of me for life. It was at that, it was at that draft party. What did he do? I can't remember. He took my fucking Brooklyn Dodgers hat off my head and rubbed it on his ass. Oh, I remember that story.

I remember that story. It's like, what the fuck's team hasn't existed since 1958? Why are you rubbing my hat on your ass? Fucking Puma. Wow. I got so, I'll never forgive him. And then there's a litany of fucking crimes that fucking guyuma. I got so, I'll never forget him. And then there's a litany of fucking crimes that fucking guy committed. Fuck him. But it was at, it was at the Dikembe Matumbos,

number four overall, 1993. Matumbo, Pete Rose, Chris Christopherson. Reef, Reef. Yeah. Charlie Hussle and Dikembe. No, no, no, no. Yeah, that is sad. Well Well that makes our fictional characters seem a lot less important. Yeah, that's moment sure carry that through today's episode Yeah, you know I Said this while we were getting ready as I was hobbling around the studio that I I think there's a chance you could get out of this. I don't see how you get out of this

without at least one death or two, unless I play like a complete nincompoop. Which I'm praying and hoping that you just- It happens. Yeah, it happens. Natural one, natural one. You've done it many times in the past. I pull punches, I pull punches

because the game isn't always about kill, kill, kill. It's about telling a great story, but you have to do it in such a way that makes sense. And right now, they got the jump on you because of a poor tactical decision. Don't roll your eyes. That we're not going to push any blame on anybody here. We're just saying that something happened that threw you into this situation. If you listen back to the tape, you can hear me telling you not to do it. But here we are.

Here we are. Revisionist history at this point. Not explicitly, but in so many words. It could not have been more obvious, unless he physically stopped us from continuing. I wish he would have locked the door. I believe in player agency. The front of the building collapsed. A meteor hit the street right up front. You're unable to get have locked the door. I believe in player agency. The front of the building collapsed.

A meteor hit the street. You're unable to get out into the street. I think Sakawatchi should have tied us up. That would be great. With no roles. It's really tricky, right? Because you could have one death. That's harsh.

We've already had a couple. You could have two deaths, three deaths at that point. Now we've got one. That might be interesting. One character survives and we get a new party. I think that that could be interesting. That's my assumption. That's Kate's prediction. That's your assumption. I came in here today assuming that four of us have to make new characters. Are we going to do a bet? How many of us die?

Parlay. No. Or we go full TPK and then, you know, then it comes to the decision. Do we just move on from this AP, which I've talked about now. I mentioned on the show, we talked about it on Cannon Fodder. And I don't know. I think, I really think I might. Even though it would just, it's like such a waste of prep work on my part, it would

be interesting. And I think that it would be disruptive in the industry. You don't see that happening too often. Hologram would write all about us. Union hating Game Master does a TV game. Panko, call me Red. But I don't know. I think it'd be interesting. And I love a good story, and I think it would be nice to have a fresh start, but it'd be fucking sad.

It would suck to start at level one again. Yeah. Honestly. Yeah, that would, oh, that's the biggest. We could always do one of those three bookers that start at level seven, but we should learn to walk before we do it to fly. But yeah, starting at level one is brutal, but maybe.

Level one in Money was fun, but I feel like the balance is really good. I mean, you also don one is brutal, but maybe. Level one in money was fun, but I feel like the balance is really. You also don't have to do an AP. You can do a level three module, you know? That'll take us a year, you know, a three to five sort of module. Do a module, yeah. And then like maybe doing a level five after that, you know?

Like a psychress side sesh type of thing. Yeah, yeah, sure. What an option. With the same characters, like you just keep, you know, they adventure. Old school sesh type thing. Yeah. Yeah, sure. What option? With the same characters. Like you just keep, you know, they adventure. Old school. Old school, that's how we used to do it.

At this point, it would kind of suck if we didn't die because we're having so many fun ideas right now. So I think we should quit. That's why I didn't build a backup character. That's why I don't like going down that road because then I find myself being like, yeah, I'm fine if he dies. Like, I don't want to feel that way.

Yeah, I didn't build a backup. Kate is pumped for Zephyr to die. She's like, can't wait for Zephyr. Yeah, I didn't build a backup. Kate is pumped. Three backup characters. She's like, can't wait for Zephyr to die. She loves death. Three, three backup characters. I couldn't decide. There's so many classes. Wow.

Well, I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I don't want to kill you. I'm prepared. I really don't want it to happen, but I... Let me show you how you can do it. I mean, it's so, so simple. You don't need a to happen, but I'm, I. Let me show you how you can do it.

I mean, it's so, so simple. You don't need a deus ex machina and you certainly don't need like the enemies to suddenly be like, oh, we've just heard news from somewhere else, we must run. You just go like this. Miss. That's incredibly easy.

That was really good. I don't do that. Doesn't take a lot of prep. You also took a picture. Watch, I'll show you one more time. Ka! You also took a picture last time. The funny thing is though,

those were actually wood. Right, yeah. You guys were incredible. From here, I can see the single digits. It's easy for Joe. But you rolled it already. I rolled the attack of opportunity. All right, so we gotta take it back. Oh yeah, this is already. Yeah, it's been done. Such a cliffhanger. I rolled the attack of opportunity. All right, so we got to take it back.

Oh, yeah. This is already. Yeah. It's been done. Such a cliffhanger. On a big old cliffy. So on a big old cliffy. We end book one of Gatewalkers, a free book AP, with you being transported through this

telescope essentially back to Golarion, you assume, you end up in this observatory. Sakawatchi is there and Sakawatchi says, ah, thank God you're here. I need some help. Someone is bashing down the doors of the observatory. They bust in. It's four hobgoblin raiders. They got war paint on their face. You're all beat up from the previous fight against The night gaunt and the Karen white and the yosoke with the lizard and the Drake and the Drake And the Drake. Hey the Drake And now you're just thrown right into this fight again These are not very strong warriors But they are made stronger by the fact that they have shields and their AC is boosted when they're next to each other standing in formation

However, you are able to defeat them One of them runs away Sakawachi says that When he came here, there's something weird going on in the city. I lost my companions Maybe we should just let him go. I don't know what to do. Barnes follows, pursues, and the raider leads you directly into a trap with three more of his kind,

one of which being clearly the leader, this buff female hobgoblin, you think. She looks different. Barnes jumps into the river, this buff female hobgoblin you think. She looks different. Barnes jumps into the river, this canal, and starts floating down swimming downstream to draw the attention of these raiders who are just firing their shortbows into the water. The rest of you eventually come out. Another one sneaks around the corner, comes after Buggles, takes Buggles to dying two. Ramius brings Asta back up to full.

Asta is wounded one and drained two. Ramius is wounded two and sickened one. Zephyr is drained one. Buggles is drained one, dying two. Prone and all that good stuff. Ramius is not sickened. You're no longer sickened? No, he, uh.

He retched. He retched it out. I will remove that from this. Zephyr, you come up at the end of last week's episode and you want to grab Bugles and pull his body back. I take an attack of opportunity with my Raider and I rolled that die. I took a picture of the die

because I knew I'd forget what it was. Yeah. It's so funny. I just had like, my wife texted me and my phone just writes stuff and it wrote, I am, am, I am, Tuh am I am Taut wit CD CD squeeze squeeze squeeze What is going on at work? Alright, so let's go back does love me

We have our own little language. It's so cute when he does this. All right, let's see. Here's the die. All right, so I took this however long ago we recorded. I feel like it was last week. His two hit is right there. So it was a 16 on the die. Oh!

Ha ha ha ha ha! So not even- You can see that at home. Not even like a- 16. Well it won't it? It's- So it's gonna be a 26 to hit.

Not a crit, regular hit. So angry. May hit points do you have? Don't even, don't, don't. He had to read that. Not a lot. He did crit me. Yeah. Last ep. Do what Joe said.

When he says the number just go, okay. Yeah. It's fine. Nine points. I'm so close to going down. Nine? Nine points of slashing damage. Still up?

Still up. Well, here's the good news. For your bravery in the line of battle, you get a bubble cap. Oh, wow, amazing. So good news, bad news. Nine points of damage. You're still up and you get a bottle cap

because that is a heroic action. You knew you were gonna take that AOO. You knew you had a possibility of going down there, which could doom the party. But now you have provoked and it has used its reaction. You've grabbed Buggles. you can pull him back with ease. That's exactly what I want to do now that I have him grabbed, missed the attack. I want to duck down and pull him back as

far as we can go. Okay, how many feet can you move? I have 35 feet of movement. All right, so I'm going to say you can pull him into the observatory. Cool. I will just take you guys off the map. Can you see the map still now that you're off the map? I can still see it but actually I can't see anything on it. Just the map. Okay I want to make sure I really get you five ten fifteen twenty twenty five thirty so I'm gonna move you back even

Further just in case now that Buggles is safe You if you want peace if you want to come back into it you could So you pull Buggles in and Sakawatchee and Hubert are there in the observatory as well First action grab Buggles, second action pull back you have one more action. So we're all the way back in the observatory? I mean you're you're at the door you're through the doorway through the broken doorway. I want to pull him back as far as I can because in my mind a double move back people these hobgoblins can come in to the observatory. Yeah. Yeah. I want to keep

pulling him back another 35 feet. Yeah. Yeah. I want to pull it again. So you just want to keep pulling it back another 35 feet? Yes. Okay. Very good. Alright, so you are deep within the observatory if you move 70 feet back. And she's also probably like losing it a bit. I mean, I've got single digit hit points at this point. So she probably doesn't want to get back into the fight.

So. Okay. No one's died yet. Theomacus Barnes, you are in the water. There is one raider about 20 feet away from you, up, firing down, they've hit you a couple times. It's like maybe a little red pool forming around you. Little streaks of red in the water. Streaks of red, that's fun.

What do you do? Barnes is of red in the water. That's fun. What do you do? Barnes is going to glint the mirror. Okay. And another Barnes will appear behind these barrels up on the far side of the canal from the other from the enemies. Okay. And then I'm assuming the water is moving enough that the first Barnes will disappear. Okay. Very good. Uh, and then I will take cover. I'll spend an action to take cover. Very good. Uh, and then I will, uh, shout out at the enemies to antagonize and be like, Hey, I'm over here! You missed me! I'm still around. Okay. Is antagonize an action? I feel like it is.

No, is it an action? I feel like you, maybe it's a class thing that you can do. It was in oney. There's a feat called antagonize for the swashbuckler. Yes. Yeah. When you successfully demoralize a creature, its frightened condition tends to decrease to less than one at the end of its turn.

Well, you know what? I can do the coerce action with the intimidate skill. It's like I'm trying to coerce them to come after me. You come and get me. You said coerce like Kate says it. Coerce. Coerce. I just feel like we should make fun of you. That was crazy. Coerce.

Co- co- coerce. Yeah, you really- No, I didn't add the H, I said coerce. That's not how it's saying it right. No, coerce. Coerce. Coerce. Coerce. That's campers rule. To you.

If not the A, you don't add an H. Like a Jersey coerce. Coerce. Coerce. Coerce? Coerce. Do you say Huitze things? The French don't even say it though. I'm not adding an H. If we're gonna make fun of Kate,

we're gonna make fun of you. I didn't say it like Kate said it like. Co-erce. She hit. That's like the Monendez brothers were co-erce. I don't remember how I said it. You said co-herce. Co-herce.

Oh, I added the H. You said coheres. You said coheres. Oh, I added the H. You said C-O-H-E-A-R-S-E. What are you guys talking about? Coheres. English is hard. I'm gonna roll my dine up. Do you feel bad?

I'm tired. As long as you feel bad, we can move on. We just got started. As long as you feel bad, we can move on. Sounds like he feels bad. I'm tired of the bullshit. Then let's move on. Natural 2.

But it's an 11. Okay. But they know where I am. All right, so they are perhaps insufficient. Sounds like he feels bad. Tired of the bullshit. Let's move on. Natural two. Ah! It's an 11. Okay. But they know where I am. All right, so they are perhaps insufficiently cohairst. Oh my god.

There we go, that sounds right. Aren't we all? That sounds right. This Asta's turn, Asta, you have no idea where Barnes is. You see Zephyr bleeding out from sword wounds, dragging Bugles' carcass back into the observatory. What do you do? Yeah, I mean, Asta just got outside,

got healed up, walked outside, and then is immediately like, we all have to go back inside. So she touches Ramius on the back and she goes, we have to leave him. Bones! We have to leave him. Bones!

Brother Ramius! And then she's going to shoot a phase bolt with her other hand at this goblin, this hobgoblin that was just attacking Zephyr. Okay. So first action. Baseball. Brought some new dice in.

Before you attack, I wanna hear where your thoughts are on the observatory. Like the doors are splintered, they broke in. So I just wanna know what the plan is here because I don't wanna surprise you with you guys trying to like bar the doors It's not gonna be just like let's just shut the doors and we find forever. I thought we That's what I thought you thought so I'm not saying it's impossible, but I very clearly said they broke through the doors

Yeah, okay, I don't say the doors are completely useless. No where else. It's like safe right now remind me though I also it's already doesn't matter the ship has sailed I know but I thought her dropped back with bubbles. I thought there were two sets of doors Is there like a two big double doors and there was like a big wooden two by four or something in front of it that broke Maybe the door splintered a little bit so it still could be barred Okay, but if they smell blood you have every reason to believe they'll just keep pushing. I don't know I am trying to Hurt as many as I can as we retreat to regroup inside the observatory where we're not out in the open, in the dark to potentially more of them because we turned corners and they just started popping up all over the place. Right. So at least if we can

get back to the observatory, you know, we have our two best fighters there, Sakawachi and Hubert. So I think that's our best bet. Right. All right, face bolt. Face bolt. Ooh, that's gonna be a 22. 22. And you know, one thing we got wrong, a lesser. A 24. We were listening back,

cause I still had the stun condition on this guy. I'm like, oh, I can't take it away. Oh, if you're stunned. And we realized that I just forgot to take that off. But my last action was I raise shield after doing two attacks. I couldn't have raised that shield. So this is just against his normal AC.

And that is a hit. Yes, I thought that you didn't. Wait, 22? 22. So 22 is a miss when his shield is up? No, I'm just giving you the full. I didn't think so. So I was just like, wait a minute.

If the shield was a- I'm gonna plot out my- And he was in formation, maybe I can't remember. I think if he's in formation, that does mess with the raised shield. Oh my God. Eight points of damage. Damn it.

Low fucking rolls. He's hurt. He's actually very hurt. Cause Zephyr, I think, hit him with at least one blow. You got him good. One flurry of blows. Maybe two, yeah. But yeah, that's two actions. She casts that and she is just saying to Ramius,

we have to regroup. Yeah, I have to go back. I'm going back. I have to help Zephyr. If nothing else, if we can retreat into this building, then at least they'll be forced to come through the door, in which case Zephyr could just shoot, get as far away from the door as you can and just like shoot at them as they come in.

A better opportunity. So yeah, Asta, final action is gonna move back into the building also, following the heels of Zephyr carrying Buggles. She's very worried about Buggles. Very worried. Good luck. Deuces.

All right, so you walk, you walk back as well? Yep, following them. Great. It is the original Raider's turn. This is the one that is over there, closer to Barnes. It is actually 30 feet away, but Barnes has taken cover. Let's take a look at the take cover action. You press yourself against a wall or duck behind an obstacle to take

better advantage of cover. If you would have standard cover, you instead gain greater cover, which is what I'm gonna give you. A plus four circumstance bonus to your AC to reflex saves against area effects and a stealth checks to blah blah blah blah hide sneak whatever. I'm gonna say because the barrels are there I would have given you cover but because you took the take cover action you're gonna have greater cover. So plus four to your AC Let's see if that will save you from some attacks here All right short bow attack

Now 20 doesn't care about cover. No, that's what it doesn't care about cover. Well, don't lie Doesn't care about cover. No, that's why he doesn't care about cover. Well, don't lie. Stop. Stop it. You cannot. Joe, walk over to my dice tray. No.

I'm not unplugging. I'm not unplugging. I see the planet die from here. I can see it. Brody's got it. I can see it. Come on. Well, whatever.

If I was you, I'd be like, ah, two. That was pretty cool. I like to tell a good story. Natural 20 doesn't care about your cover, rolls a natural 20. Yeah, I mean, I just, Shortbow has a deadly d10. Could you imagine rolling a die and getting a natural 20?

Could you imagine? I mean, barely. I can't even imagine what that would feel like. I would use my mind. Especially on like a hard attack roll, where you need a natural 20. Well, minimum on the piercing damage, six piercing, but then the D10 of deadly.

Oh right. Oh God. Two. There you go. So that was like a one on the D6 plus two, so six piercing plus two. So eight points of damage on a crit. That's not bad.

Not bad at all. Second attack. points of damage on a crit. That's not bad, not bad at all. Second attack. 18. Yes. Against greater cover. All right, and then,

then he's going to slide down by 15 feet. Actually, I'm gonna come down 20 feet. He starts walking towards There's a little bridge that goes over the canal to like kind of come towards you Let me see how many feet I can move actually I can move 25 So I'm gonna move another one it was 25 feet coming to this bridge to come and get you top around for new Raider

ones turn The Las Vegas Raiders. All right, Brother Ramious, you're gonna be going next. Now this one is back there with the leader. Oh man. This is very, very interesting. This one is going to move up 25 feet. Start to close.

I mean. And then it's going to take a shot at Brother Ramious. With its short bow. Natural three for a total of 13. Hell yeah. Woof, I'm sure that hits. No, that's a, come 13. Hell yeah. Woof. I'm sure that hits. No, that's a, come on. No, dude.

I'm gonna miss. Okay. I'm gonna take one more attack. You're gonna take that map. This is with the map. Brother Amius, wound at two. Right, crit wood, catch. Natural 20, permanent death.

No spells. Natural two. Natural three. Oh my God. Okay, natural two. Remove! It just, whoosh, whoosh. The way you three natural two Way you said natural two

To the 22 There's the natural 20 I hate that you're rolling that beautiful die because I have the same one and your roles are so much better than this one You know ever since it chipped it really rolls a lot more 20s It doesn't it doesn't hit the... Actually, it might be affecting it. No worse foundry! Natural three, natural two. You're gonna live, brother.

That's its turn. It's now brother Ramius's turn. Okay. You can throw up. Yeah, actually, I almost gagged. Throw up in your mouth? It's just a horrible situation. Yeah, actually, I almost gagged. Throw up in your mouth? It's just a horrible situation. Yeah, Remius hearing Asta's thing,

he yells out for Barnes in the streets, can't see him anywhere. Barnes can take care of himself. Or he's dead. Well, actually, you might have heard him shouting. Yeah, that would be the best case result, but if you can't think that, possibly. He's going to reach out and try one blast against this hop goblin that has already been hurt pretty bad.

The one right in the front row there. The other one has not been touched. Yeah. Okay, so he'll fire off the one that just giving an idea of everybody. The one that's giving chase to Barnes is the original one. He was hurt in that battle. The one that Ramius is attacking is really hurt. The other two have not been touched. Okay.

So this is a what kind of blast? This is a Divine Lance going against spirit damage. I'm really hoping here to... I need a natural 20. Just kind of need a natural 20. Yeah, just call it. He does it all the time. I know. I'm just gonna go, man, if I need a natural 20. Just kind of need a natural 20. Yeah, just call it. He does it all the time. I know. I'm just going to go, man, if I rolled a natural 20 here. That's how you do it. Natural six.

And what's the total? It doesn't matter. Stop. He is going to 15. And he will, dodging two arrows, one like lands like right into like a book on his backpack. Just like, whoa, arrow sticking out. And it's like, whoa, fires off,

obviously blows it off into the sky and then holds start falling back into the thing. So full movement back into the thing next to Asta. Alright so you are in the observatory. The observatory. I kept thinking cathedral like it's not a cathedral. The observatory is firing off falling back firing off falling back. Alright I've added Sakawatchee to the initiative tracker here.

Okay so Sakawatchee is standing in the observatory with you guys, sees this all happening. He's like, I've never fought in my life. I am useless with this spear. I do have some magics. What can I do? Do you want me to try and harm them or try to help you? Help us. She's like dragging in bugles.

She's like, help him. Help him anything. Help us by the door. I'm bugles. She's like, help him, help him anything. Help us bar the door. I'm not a healer. I'm not a healer. I can- What magic do you have then? I can bless you.

I can try to put him to sleep. Him to sleep. The goblin? The goblin? One of the goblins, yeah. Anything. Tell me what you want me to do. This is not my forte.

Bless us or sleep? We got him down, so I feel like sleep might work, but then what? No, I'm not putting the roll on his hand. He'll just natural 20, the saving throw. Oh. I'm gonna have one of you roll if you choose sleep. That's worse.

You'll be rolling for the enemy. No, you're gonna roll for the enemy. Cause we're so bad? No, you're gonna roll for the enemy. Because we're so bad? No, because I want you to have ace. Let's choose that option and have Joe roll it. Oh, he's gonna roll natural 20. Oh my god. If you choose to have him.

It'll be great for the show. He doesn't just roll low, he just rolls the worst. So whatever the circumstances call for, he'll do the opposite of that. The Bless to us would help us with attacks, right? It wouldn't help you with attacks. You would help us with attacks. Zephyr has the...

Would it help Buggles with a saving throw against death? No. Not with a recovery check. The plus one and Bless is always gonna be helpful, but their ACs, where they're not in formation, their shields aren't terribly high. We're rolling badly enough that it's just terrible. And that other one is almost down.

If we put the second one to sleep, maybe it won't come up and attack us with him. And if anything- What is the success condition of sleep? Yeah, saving throw? All right, so let's talk about sleep. Critical success unaffected. Success minus one to perception. Failure falls unconscious for a minute.

Critical failure for an hour. But then you gotta look at the details. Sleep is generally a non-combat spell, I think, usually. So like, does it say anything about, if there are loud sounds of battle around, you get another saving point. It usually can be roused. All right, each creature in the area. Oh, it's an area effect.

Five foot burst. Oh. Okay. Are they next to each other? I think if I put this burst on a intersection. Okay, so no, it would have to be one. Just four squares. Right?

Yeah. Each creature is 30 feet. Each creature in the area becomes drowsy and might fall asleep. A creature that falls unconscious from this spell doesn't fall prone or release what it's holding. So they just like fall asleep like a giraffe. The spell doesn't prevent creatures from waking up due to a successful perception check, limiting its utility in combat. Yeah, but it doesn't say anything about... Spell you use to get by a guard in like a, you know, like sneak by, but...

Unconscious condition. You're sleeping or have been knocked out. You can't act. all you use to get by a guard in like a you know like sneak by but unconscious condition you're sleeping or have been knocked out you can't act you take a minus four to perception reflex saves you have the blinded and off guard conditions when you gain this condition you fall prone but sleep spell over rides that you don't fall prone if you're unconscious because you're dying blah blah blah so yeah I mean I mean I think I think we do bless. I mean, we all have attack rolls. Putting assuming a success minus one to perception gives us nothing. Assuming a failure. I

mean, I think that it's just gonna wake up. But I don't know this bless. Bless does not have any bearing on a saving throw when you're dying? No, it's just on attack rolls. Plus one status bonus to attack rolls for you and your allies within the area for one minute. And I can keep that radius popping each round. Or we could try sleep and then it would lower, if on a success, it would at least,

you know, meta-gaming aside, it would at least lower its AC and keep it off guard. I say Bless because we just get it out there, and then next round he can still cast Sleep. It's not one or the other for the combat, but then he could cast, if he's alive next round, he can cast Sleep, and Bless will already be out there yeah and staying out there yeah unless you want him to help you bar the door which which which if we could do yeah you could do

that with bless already out there he can still move and yeah I say do the bless first I think it would behoove us yeah let's start with a bless says okay he starts chanting hundred breath you get a plus one attack bonus. Achimachi. Bugles, you are dying too. You have been dragged back. I need a DC 12, unless you have something that makes it less, DC-12 death save. One or two would...

What's your bottle cap situation? I don't have any. You used them all like last ep, I think. Yeah, we used, I think everybody used theirs. Or the ep before? Yeah. This is rough. This is a circumstance that killed another character of mine recently. And is the sole reason for the death of this table.

Yeah. For both of us. The criticals fail on a 9-2. Dying to recover. Yours was a crit fail also. Oh, what a beautiful die. I do have this is a new-ish Norse Foundry, beautiful gemstone die that friend Eric gave us at Gen Con. Gorgeous. First time rolling it?

Let's go. It will be shattered. Wow. First time rolling it, let's see. National 14. Okay. Yes, game. Stable.

Oh, it's shaking. No, not stable. Dying one now. Dying one, better. Which is much better. Keeps you around. Okay. Ooh. Ooh. Look, it's the blue lady's turn.

It's the blue lady's turn. Oh no. Blue lady. My god, she must be so demoralized at this point. Yeah, she should probably give up. She probably wants to give up. Go home. She has wants to give up. She has a loaded crossbow. Take a hot bath.

From her running reload. Barnes taunted them. Rolled a natural two, I think. I'm doing 120 feet of range on this crossboning. Someone could taunt me badly, and I still wanna fight him. Bad taunting is even worse. Yeah.

They're like, get over here. This, with you guys in the observatory and the only ally of yours on the map being Barnes, I need a quick break to figure out this map situation. We'll be back in a moment. We're back. This was a lot of work. Actually, it wasn't that much work. It took about five minutes. But this has happened a lot on this show. I imagine it happens a lot of home tables when people start moving between maps. Yeah.

I remember a time when we were drawing maps. I feel like I'd be like, all right, I got to draw another map. Now you're over here. But with Dungeons, it'd be like, all right, well, you're in this room and cover it with a paper. But Giant Slayer, I can remember, like the floor is certainly at the end there when you're on the cloud castle. Like someone would go up and down. But now with Foundry VTT, this is just really tricky here.

But I think I've done it based on what you said you did in terms of movement and what your movement speed is. I think I have everyone correct. So let's go to the observatory map here. So, the way you're placed in the observatory is as accurate as I can be as to what you said you did. So, you see Zephyr and Bugles are about, Zephyr is about 50 feet from the door. Bugles is 45 feet at dying one. AUSA is just below Ramius there.

Ramius pulled in a little bit. And then Sakawatchee and Little Hubert are there as well. Going back to the street, I've just- Taking it to the street. Taking it to the street. I've, where you would normally- Oh, we're there too. Yeah, where you would normally put the elevation,

I've put your distance from the door to just let me kind of figure out who's where. So, here's the problem. It's Blue Lady's turn. Let me get some- I'm sorry, are you intimating there's one problem? There's a lot of problems. There's a lot of problems.

Let me hear some, there's one problem, there's no music. Let me hear some music. Oh, Blue Lady music. And then Blue Lady, how far can she move? She's got some decent movement. She's got her Guys in front of her. She's barking orders to the one that's chasing after Barnes and then she is going to close

on Barnes on you guys Fortunately, let's see how far I can move so I can move right up to my buddy, which is what I like to do and I'm going to take a shot on your running reload. I did at the end of my last turn I'm gonna take a shot on Asta awesome I'm gonna say you get a plus two to your AC here like kind of around it's just the broken pieces of doors She can see you But you're gonna get a plus two to your AC. Also, I need to clarify something. Sure.

You said that Ramius healed me full, but that's not true. I only got 10. I'm like 10 off of my max HP, so I still have my wounded condition. Because if he healed me full, I would've- No, yeah, you're wounded. Yeah, I would've not been wounded. Just when you opened the show you were like,

you got healed full, you're wounded one. You're not healed full. I'm not healed full and I'm wounded one. I just want to make that clear. Okay, and you're drained too, so your max is down by a lot of people. So it's all bad and I want everybody at home to know it's all bad. Just how bad? It's all bad. How bad could it be?

Give yourself a plus two to your AC. That's good. I'm gonna roll this broken die. I shouldn't be allowed to do that. Yeah, you're cheating. You wanna roll another die? No, no, no. Yeah.

I'll roll neon green. No, no, no, no. He said the broken ones. I'm gonna go ahead and roll neon green. Have him roll neon green for a while. Neon green, remember, first hit with this crossbow will do an extra one D8 damage. No.

Thanks to the crossbow precision feat. Thanks to my crossbow precision feat. Plus 2d array C. Here we go. Neon green. Haven't rolled it in a while because I don't like the way it rolls in this box. Natural 3. You tell me. 17're welcome. 17. Miss. Okay. 17. Wow, that's big too.

That's huge. Thank you, beyond. That bolt just goes, Oh man. But it's also like from behind, like she didn't even know that she was coming towards them. So yeah, this bolt. She figured like the obvious thing,

this enemy would go for Barnes, like obviously. Yeah. So this bolt flies slow motion. If she had any tactical mind at all. Yeah, some of her hair some of her fur gets cut off and you see Asta see the fur Look and she looks starts to look behind her. She goes She looks at her companions and she says look look what they have on their person finish them I can smell blood and she moves up with her final action running reload moves 25 feet

She's 10 feet from the door what they have on their person. These are Raiders Got some stuff your lucre. Oh, you're not barely have a look at officers claws come over We're not getting us. It does have a lot of rocks any of my rocks there's claws coming out. They're not getting. Asta does have a lot of rocks. Any of my rocks. It is New Raider II's turn. New Raider II is the one that is in really bad shape.

But Ramius tried to perhaps finish off the Divine Lance and rolled a natural six. This one, looking to his leader, it's like, ah, drops the crossbow, draws a sword, and closes on you, comes into the observatory, actually comes, yeah, right to the door. So let's go back to the observatory map. Comes right to the doorway in the observatory,

has a sword out, that's its turn. and the Observatory has a sword out. That's its turn. Moving back to the other map. Row up. I know, I was just going to say, you're making me nauseous, stop. It is Zephyr's turn. So now I'm going to go back to the other map.

Okay, so Initiative is being tracked down. Yeah, Initiative is being tracked down. Oh, I see. All right, so Zephyr, you've got, Ramius is in front, Bugles is down. Yeah, initiative is being tracked on the Skywatch. All right, so Zephyr, you've got, Ramius is in front, Buggles is down. So Buggles isn't providing cover, but unless you move, it is going to get covered. Assuming you're attacked,

I don't know what the hell you gotta do. I'm talking too much, what do you wanna do? All right, she sees everyone, the enemies starting to run back in here. She's at five hit points. She needs to protect her group. That's what she's thinking. Now that she's got Buggles in here,

she can't do anything else to help besides distract and fight them. So she moves 35 feet away from the party. Meow. Kind of goes to the south there around the edge. To try to get them to come to her. Just keeping Bless in mind. Don't forget Bless.

You would move out. Yeah, how far away is- It's 15 feet from him. So if you go the north way, would you be far away and still- I'm trying to draw them away from you guys. So if I go north- Right, but if you did the same thing on the north,

wouldn't that have the same effect? You said 15 feet, it's centered on him, right? Sure, tactically right but if you did the same thing on the north wouldn't that have the same effect you said 15 feet centered on him right sure tactically but if you think about like being visible from the doorway the people running in like realistically like the blue lady but the blue lady running in seeing me aiming she would run towards me versus running into the room and then seeing me off to the side you move to the north you get a clean shot and you stay within blast I get a clean shot of the guy right here. The one that's in the room.

Yeah. If you stand there, you're out of bless. Uh, yeah, she doesn't have to come in the room. She's going to stay out and just keep firing into us. I think that moving to the north. Yes. Makes sense to stay in this blessed range. But it doesn't make sense from like the perspective of she's trying to get the enemies to see her first and attack her first,

if she's like around the corner of the door, you know? I mean, Ramius is still the closest one to the door, so... No matter where you move, he's the target of the woman. I just don't think it makes sense for her to run up up against the wall And I need to be 30 feet away from the from the guy Yeah, I don't think he has to be up against the wall. There's room in the back You know yeah back behind All right, I guess I could go there. I just I

Mean if you have if you don't want to know I just think it's so so valuable I want I want the plus one, but I also want to keep it realistic I don't think she would stay near you guys if she's trying to draw them away from you You know I? Also don't think you're realistically the true I will Listen to your tactics right, but also like why but look I don't know there's like a line between like Meta gaming and being like I gotta say within 15 feet of bless Right, but also like, why would... Right, but listen, I don't know, there's like a line between like... Metagaming and being like, I gotta say, within 15 feet of Bless, but it's like, no, she would move away from you guys. Yeah, I get that, but I don't... But narratively speaking, that doesn't make any sense.

Brother Ramius, a completely weak combatant, is right in front of him. You running away in any direction is not gonna draw him away from Brother Ramius. When do you go? Not for a while. I'll call the top of the round, but I go before him. is not gonna draw him away from Brother Ramius. When do you go? For a while. I'll call the top of the round, but I go before him. Barnes would go, just to give you an idea where we're at. Barnes goes next, then Asta, and then the raider that's chasing Barnes.

Then we go back to the top of the next round, and it's still a raider before Ramius goes. All I'm saying is, you're not gonna draw anyone anywhere. We're all at risk equally in in every direction like it's um Because they'll they'll have ranged weapons to this I think it's sweat this one that just came in has no shield and is an information I think and every sword out and has a sword out every bonus Counts here. All right. I'm gonna reset here. You'll you'll you'll

Sleep with yourself if you miss my one. Hits my turn. No, I guess. No. I just wanted you to be aware of the bless. I think you had forgotten about it. I'm aware. No, I see it.

I'm aware, but I just, I'm trying to play her like she would, what she would do because she could die. And I want to stay true to the character. Your, your instinct, if you're interested in drawing their attention, then you need to step in front of Remus. Yeah.

And fire at the one behind it if you need to be 30 feet away. But then this one has the... If Asa doesn't finish this one off, I mean, that's really... If you want to draw their attention, then you step to step in front of Remus. I think that's what she would do, actually. She would step in front of them. And you could still be in the bless, but then just don't fire at the one within your volley range further. That's exactly what she does

She steps in front of Ramus Still five feet away from the one that just got in yeah now you've accomplished what you wanted to accomplish Do I have yourself a more dangerous position you have a? The blue lady to the blue lady or do I need to move move down one square? Move down one square and I won't, I won't, yeah, now it's clear. Okay. So she runs in front of Remus and she turns back, she's like, take care of Buggles, whatever you can do.

And she's got her bow out. I'm assuming she was able to carry Buggles with one hand. Oh no, she punched with her hand. Yeah, but you didn't stab her. But I can do it with my bow. I feel like she's got her bow out. She can hold- You dragged her 30 pounds.

Yeah. Yeah. It's not a reason to be. All right, so like holding a baby. So you're putting the blue lady up there for me. I have blue ladies on the map. Oh. Ladies entered the map.

Hate the blue lady. All right. Great. One forward right there. So wait a minute, you- Okay. Zephyr moves Flavor Has to you to take care of Buggles

Looks at Asta and she's like, are you ready? Let's hold them off. Okay And I look scared for you Asta is ready to rock but she is very worried about I haven't gone down yet But she's about to ever does not look um monastic archer stance Fl of Blows at the blue lady. Okay. And we've established you have your bow. Yeah. Okay.

I've established that, let's go. And I'm gonna roll the original dice that Eric from North Foundry gave me, the original Zephyr dice, the turquoise one. Roll turquoise. Just cause. Turquoise delight. Okay, let me just. I think it worse you stowed your bow. You Turquoise. Just cause. Turquoise Delight. Okay, let me just.

I think it worse you stowed your bow. You don't think you dropped it. I didn't stow it when I hit the guy with my fist, cause I don't need to. Yeah, you just were punching, you were holding it in one hand. And you certainly didn't have to stow it while you're pulling buttons.

I'm fine with that. I just want to make sure you didn't drop it or say you stowed the bow. And I just don't know. All right. So I'm gonna say you're good. Here we go with know. All right. So I'm gonna say you're good. Here we go, with bless, first shot. 15?

You do have a bottle cap. I do have a bottle cap. You have a couple. I've got two bottle caps. You have the most out of any of us, I think. I feel like this one would make the most sense. Stabilize, you would have to use all of them. I'm gonna use a bottle cap for...

Are you firing at the little guy or the blue lady? The blue lady, okay. The blue lady. I'm gonna use a bottle cap for my first... Probably the best use of an attack cap. Thanks, do I get a bottle cap for that? No. What did you roll on the die the first time?

A four. Yeah, not good, not good. All right. Don't forget, you get a plus one to your attack. Oh, and a plus one. Yeah. Got a natural five this time instead of a natural four. So cool.

What is going on with us? Sydney, I thought you left the studio. Six episodes now? This is the entire campaign. Troy, you should know. You're always shitty. Troy didn't even know. I brought Sage into the studio this morning and I smudged the studio. That didn't even know. I brought Sage into the studio this morning

and I smudged the studio. That didn't work? It's crazy that that didn't work. I can't believe it. I think I didn't do it long enough. I can't believe that didn't have a tangible effect on the material. I'll do it at lunch again.

Oh, great. So maybe you can burn down some of the set. Yeah. Then we'll be cured. We don't just need a new camera. I mean, it's fine if she misses. I feel like it makes sense thematically. She's hurt. she's trying to hold off for as long as she can. She will go down swinging.

So second attack with the flurry of blows, uh, 15 again, uh, total. So she's got determination on her face. She's trying, but she's just tired right now. She's feeling weak and she misses both of them into the line, but she's standing there ready to take it All right Barnes Barnes You piece of shit We it won't be a TPK. You'll be the lone survivor. But I'll just move you into a new campaign.

That's my bet is that he is the lone survivor. He leaves Gatewalkers. My bet was that he'd be the lone survivor, that we would continue to play Gatewalkers, that we would all bring in new characters, and that Barnes would get to tell this story about how he didn't kill the entire team. And we would all, as characters,

could always kind of believe it. Yeah. And maybe, but sometimes be suspicious Yeah, what really happened Barnes is gonna go back to castor bill and give his memory of this Let's wipe this all I don't remember Barnes you are I mean, this is just so fucking cool here. You are ducked behind these barrels. Barnes is in the least amount of danger of all.

Yeah. Infuriating. In my defense, I didn't expect you all to follow me. Well, it didn't matter. We didn't. Yeah. You did. All of you ran out. We stayed in the opening matter. We didn't. Yeah. You did.

All of you ran out. We stayed in the opening of the door, of the doorway. We were like, fucking like, ten feet, and then we saw you get surrounded. It was Boggle's dark vision in particular, and the light of the moon that saw that you were in trouble. They couldn't have just left you out there. They could have. You would have died.

I'm okay. Yeah. How dare you think so little of us to leave you out there, but alone. Show us how okay you are. Yeah, I mean, whatever. You just moved back five feet. Should we do that? This is great. This is a great situation Barnes moves up to the the edge of their canal Okay, he will glint his mirror and I'll just move myself because I'm not gonna double I'll double and appear on the ledge

on the opposite side Okay Interesting and then move again And the original Barnes will disappear He's gonna move back towards the bridge. So you're moving? Back towards them. Okay, so now this guy is multiple moves away.

Yes. But he still has his bow out. You can play at the kiting game. Okay. Thought you'd go attack him. Yeah, why wouldn't you just kill him? Because I have, no, I have, because of the way I've been rolling.

Okay. Rolling is all chance. But I saged the room. Just gotta throw this out there. If you, we're just talking here as friends at the table, if you closed on him and attacked and missed or whatever, he has a bow in his hand. I have to spend two moves to close on him.

You can't glint next to him? No, and that's another action So I'm using two actions like one shine and then one action to swing and then the thing is his whole next turn is Tied up dealing with the logic of what you're saying. You know reaction. You know reaction Yeah, so he could still drop free action draw and get two swings off or pull back fire fire. It's certain death I'm gonna miss. I just wanted to talk through it all there The best thing I can do is kind of yeah yeah I know it doesn't require me to roll I'm sorry I just can't see you on the map at all I assume you're cut but are you cutting him back to us yeah but he has to either

go all the way around or come back and he's got at least triple to get anywhere near me I mean he could fire with the bow you can fire with the bow but the bow has a 60 foot range increment the The bow that does. Deadly detent on a crit. Let's go to Asta. Asta, you got a last name? I mean, your Fox people have a last name. Did I give Asta a last name? Is it Luago? No.

Yeah, that's not canon. I tried to make her on The Sims and I was like, what is Asta's last name? Asta Jones. I always assumed Asta was just a made up name, like an alias because you're a criminal, like a known criminal. Fuck. Fuck.

Her name is Rex Johnson. You're a dress destroyer. I'm reading to see if I made her for the last time. Her real name's Fox Johnson. Fox Johnson. Foxy Brown. Fuck. Fuck.

Fuck. That's her real name? Lucky. Foxy Brown. Lucky had Fuck. Fuck. That's her real name. Lucky. Foxy Brown. Lucky had a whole name that was like important that we never learned about. I know. And Asta is just Asta. Now you can have two characters

that we don't learn anything about. Middle name. No. Middle name La, last name Vista. Anyway. You're in the Bless. However, if you want to close on this Jonski at the door, you would be out in the Bless, however, if you wanna close on this Jonski at the door, you would be out of the Bless.

I don't want to. And this is the one that I hit outside, that Ramius hit, that we all got hits, no. No, that guy's still out there. The one that's at the door is in bad shape. This guy has one hit point. The leader is looking great. Yeah, that's the issue.

And so strong. We just gotta take this guy. I am going to cast another Phase Bolt, which I cast outside, another cantrip, but it does my most damage. And it's a spell attack roll, right? It's a spell attack roll at the goblin, the hobgoblin. They're all hobgoblins.

The little guy. The little guy, the one that is about to die. Yes. You move first, probably probably to avoid any cover that you're gonna get. Ah, because I am behind you guys now. Yep, so I am gonna move. And then faceable with two actions?

Yep. So this is your turn. This will be my turn. Oh god, Asta. And Asta. This is my pants. This is my pants. Asta is like screaming,

and it's like when foxes scream, like horrifying, sounds like a cat dying outside your window at night. And it's just like, ah, like screaming, and it's just like like screaming. It's like They sound like yeah, it sounds it's scary. They it's freaky. We should pull it up later I'm gonna have to beat a fox with a baseball bat. So I'm scream. She's worried She's worried about everything right now and she's feeling like she's gonna lose people. So here we go

No, I mean, it's just insanity. The dice gods truly want us to die. They want us to do a new campaign. I guess so. 11. What was the die? Five, fucking five. I rolled a couple of twos and threes.

I brought in new dice. And you don't have any caps. I smudged. Wait a minute, you don't have a plus six to hit on that, do you? With bless? Yes. Plus seven, it's a 12. I mean, it's terrible. And it's a cantrip. Are you...

Plus seven? Do I, did you? Are you in your plus condition mode? It's a plus what? You have some conditions on trained She doesn't have she doesn't have plus four. I have a plus six spell attack Always that's my spell attack So that sucks and she's screaming

I wouldn't wore them. You look really nice. So I wouldn't forget them. Thank you. Did I have a bottle cap? The platter will get you nowhere. Did I have a bottle cap? You like to eat glasses?

Bottle cap. I wore them so I wouldn't forget them. Yeah, I wore them so I wouldn't forget them. Sure. All right, Old Man LaValley here. It's original Raider. Original Raider's turn. He was going to come around there to the barrels but now he's not gonna do that so he is going to

move he's gonna move 25 feet to start it's got a shot on Barnes here are these ledges like is there a railing? It's it's like waist-high you could do it over with these standard cover Yeah, I'll give you a plus two I think that makes sense plus one I'm sorry you plus one I'll give you a plus one It would make sense that they would be that would just be like you could fall right just like it can now I'm gonna, you plus one. I'll give you a plus one. It would make sense that there would be, that it would just be like, you could fall right through the fucking canal. Walking drunkenly down the street and just slipping through the canal. Whoa! Swish!

You did say this was a weird city. Something weird's going on. I'm really trying to decide here if I want to, well, either way, I'm taking a shot. So I'm gonna take a shot and then decide if I want to take another shot or... Cut him off. Cut him off the pass, yeah. So I'm gonna take a shot and then decide if I wanna take another shot or... Cut them off. Cut them off the pass, yeah.

So, this is gonna be short, bro. I'm gonna roll my old split the party die here. Oh yeah, love the split the party die. I bought these with cash. Cool. Untraceable cash. Untraceable cash. Unmarked bills.

All right, here we go. Farnsey. 90, 19. Oh my god. Oh my god. It's really just. Plus one. Yeah. D.R.C. is gonna be a 29 to hit.

Jeez. Not a crit. Oh. Does it matter? It might. Not a crit. Seven points of piercing damage. Okay, it's still up. Oh my god. Well, yeah, because his bows have the deadly. Right points of piercing damage. Still up. Oh my God.

Well yeah, because his bows have the deadly. Right, right, right. But I was gonna say, are you so low that it doesn't matter, but. And then I am going to move to close. Which also moves him closer. So now he's between us and the. To the original party.

Between Barnes and us. Top of round five five new Raider one's turn that is the one that is in the back here oh this motherfucker this motherfucker Um, let me just make sure that that's not the one that I have in the observatory because I have them on two maps. No, that one's the one that's in rough shape. All right, here's what this one's going to do. Following suit to the one that's already in there.

It's going to drop his crossbow. Free action. Draw sword. First action. Second action. Move 25 feet forward. Third action. Come So, would be 10 feet to here, and then another 15 to there. So in formation with his buddy, directly in front of Zephyr. That's his turn. That's another reason that we had to kill that guy with one hip.

But neither of them that formation. He's now against the bonuses of the formation. Show you where they are on the hit. God damn it! It's not like you didn't try. Yeah, I know. They have swords out. They're closing on you. They're coming in for the kill here. Punch him in the face!

Let's go back to the street. Oh my god. I will remove... Just gonna remove all of them off this map here because they're no longer there. This map is really now just to track the Barnes fight. So it becomes Sakawatchi's turn. All right, so we'll go back to the observatory. Better do something.

It's Brother Ramius's turn, right? I believe it's, I'm sorry, not Sakawatchi's turn. It's Brother Ramius's turn. Brother Ramius, you go and then Sakawatchi, the true hero of this adventure. So all those spells you have, which one are you gonna cast? You have so many.

Ramius, seeing the end is here. Realizing there is no hope. Thinks, we need, thinks we need we need we need he's gonna fall back behind Saku Achi putting Saku Achi definitively between himself and the enemy in the crosshairs wait he hasn't shared the exposition, we need to move forward. As he falls back and he says, Kima, please, we need him. And he's going to reach out to Buggles. He's going to cast a spell on Buggles that he's not cast before.

He's going to cast Rousing Splash on Buggles. I don't know if I like the sound of that. Yeah, it's a little disturbing, but it is, I think, a perfect spell for the moment. So Rousing Splash, you cause a splash of cold water to descend on an ally's head, granting temporary vigor. You immediately gain 1d4 temporary hit points. Okay. Three temporary hit points, Okay. Three. Ooh. Temporary hit points which last for one minute. The target is then immune to temporary hit points

from Rousing Splash for 10 minutes. And you can also attempt a flat check to get out of acid or fire persistent damage, but that's it. So it wakes you up. Cool. All right, so you're no longer dying. You are wounded one, thrown, drained one, off guard.

Oh my God. With three hit points. For a minute. Three hit points. Temporary. For a minute. But at least Awake maybe can fire off one last spell to crit and kill the boss. And that was your? That's my turn.

Move to action, cast. Okay, it is Sakawatchi's turn. Should I try to put one of them to sleep? I've never tried this magic before. Yes. The one in front. Which one? In front of Zephyr. All right. Oh no, it's a- Close your eyes.

It gets both of them, it's an AOE. Oh, five foot burst. Yes, both of them. I'd like you to roll the will saves. God damn it. It's a lot. Joe, this is your time. This is a dirty thing to do.

How dare you? It's your time. I could a dirty thing to do. How dare you? It's your time. I could fudge, I could do a million things. I want it to be by the book. Don't you go fudging over the page. You roll natural 20 sometimes. No, we want him to roll low. We want him to roll low.

This is the whole thing, now I'm gonna roll high. You better roll as expected. Yeah, exactly, and everybody's gonna be mad at me. Here's the thing. You don't suck right now. Okay, while they're in formation. You better fail, or I'll... Exactly! And everybody's gonna be mad at me! Here's the thing... If you don't suck right now... You better suck! You better fail, Aral!

While they're in formation, they actually get a bonus to their saves. This is your moment. To will saves? Oh, I guess that does make sense. Alright, so... I'm like, why would they be emboldened and more focused of mind while they're together? I'm not gonna tell you what the bonus is, I'm not gonna tell you what the DC is, but I have it. Okay.

So. So you just want a die roll from me. I just want two die rolls, cause there's two of them that will be caught in this burst. It's gonna hit the intersection right between them. Okay. So do the one in the front. All right, this is the one in the front,

the one that has not been touched, I believe. Has no damage. This is the one we really want to fall unconscious. Come on. Natural 20. Oh my God, I'm gonna shoot myself! Fuck, Jesus! Jesus Christ! Natural goddamn 20!

You like, cannot make this shut up because it'd be too unbelievable. Why did you make me do that? Fucking ass. I'm gonna shoot myself. Maddie! I'm so mad at you! That's incredible, honestly. I'm not even mad. I wanted to see a natural 20 for so long!

And it waited until that moment. I even planned my celebration. Oh no. I said, this is what I said would happen. We all knew. Well, you have one more shot. It's still hurt. It's the most twisted, most vile, sick thing.

God. All right, I'll roll for the second one. It's just amazing. It really, I'm shaking. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Don't do it again. Like it has saved everyone.

And now the one that has one hit point. Well, surely it won't happen again. Yeah, well, surely. Put this one to save, it's meaningless. It has one hit point. Oh, put this one to save. It's meaningless, it has one hit point. Not even God himself. Natural point! There is no way.

It is so stupid, son of a bitch! I saw it! Stop! That makes me so fucking angry! You are cursed! I know! You are cursed!

It's real. I don't wanna play anymore! Where's that sage? It was the ice machine! Make him eat it! This is unprecedented! Make him eat it! I'm a rational man, but there's no other explanation

for what we've just seen. You're fucking haunting! Everybody, you pieces of shit, goes online and writes about statistics and probability, I was all made up, like, fuck off! It's real! It's real! You know what I blame?

I think you got some bum sage. Stop, stop! I think this is crappy. Yeah, we're- I got sage, guys. Where'd you buy that sage from? I'm so upset. Oh my God.

Well, actually, maybe, well, you know what? The sage didn't know you needed to roll low. Flashback to the sage guy, he rips off his mask, it's me, and I'm like, that was oregano. I mean, why not an 18, a 19? Legitimately, I'm two GCP, can he? GCN, natural 20s. Thanks, Norse Foundry.

Like our logo and everything. For all your natural 20 generating needs. I just rolled a net 20, just for the hell of it. Can he get a bottle cap for doing, going so well? I mean. I mean. That's what, that's what Asa sounds like. Oh my God.

That's it. That's it. That's it. At this point. No, no, no, that was two actions. Yeah. And then third action. You shoot yourself.

Increase by five. You move. No, by 10. You moved. No, increase the Bless. Increase by five. No, by ten. You moved. No, no, no. Suck. Suck a watch. Oh, oh, oh. We're kind of running Suck a Watchie's turn.

I love it. I love it, but I hate it. So Bless is you can increase the radius by five feet. You're looking, it must be looking at legacy. You're looking at it. Oh, it's ten now? Yeah, all right. It's legacy, so it's ten?

Yeah. All right, great. I will... I see so it's 10. Yeah. All right. Great I will it should be 25 feet should be the total. Okay. Yeah, I am looking at legacy. All right, so Back to back natural 20 remember that time That time you were dreaming of your natural 20. Oh, it's just It's just. It's Buggles turn. Yeah. Hey, you have a turn. It's a Buggles.

So it's like. And the splash, this water like hits his face. And he's takes him a second to realize what's going on. Sort of artificial vitality is filling him And he turns and he's just like, ah, and he sees just the more injured one. Yep. And reaches out, his little trembling hand is like, ah, squeezes it into a fist as he summons a frostbite sphere to close around him.

Please give me a fortitude save and I'd like Joe to roll it. All right. Fortitude save against this one. He gets the bonus for formation. Here we go. Back to split the party. Okay.

It's a 20. Okay. That's a success. Come, that's a success. Come on, roll high and it might still kill him. Two points of damage. Oh, oh. I rolled almost as bad as I could have on the damage. Okay.

Can I go to the bathroom? Yeah, anything in this room, but I really do have to go. He's gotta get out of this room. Yeah, all right, it's blue lady's turn. Followed by Raider 2. You're fucking dead. I do actually have another. Zephyr is right there.

Oh yeah, you do have one more action. Yeah. Oh shit. Yeah, all of my good stuff, I can't really do, unless my psyche's unleashed. Oh. Oh. Mm-hmm.

Um. No attack cantrips, one action. Not without my psyche. Maybe an aid for Zephyr or Asta, their attacks are coming up. Yeah, I'll just, I'll do an aid for Zephyr or Asta, their attacks are coming up. Yeah, I'll just do an aid for Zephyr. Okay.

Blue lady. Blue lady. Hasn't been hit. Alright, well, the gathering at the door here has created a bit of a situation for her in terms of sight lines. But Zephyr is clear. So we're going to we're going to come after Zephyr. What's the point? She reloaded to enter turn.

I don't have enough points. So this is going to be. If you weren't have enough points. So this is gonna be if you weren't there he would have she would have hit Hubert. Yep this is what you wanted. This is what you wanted. It's what you wanted. You know what Joe, why don't you just. I'm just looking at the straight line and it's right behind you as Hubert. Why don't you just relax over there. Oh hello there. Did Hubert want to run up to the front and curl into a ball and you take some? He's sitting there with a dagger. I don't know what to do.

Get in there, Hubert. No more. Become a hero. Become a hero. You are one, Hubert. I can see it in you. A hero. Blue lady, crossbow, Zephyr.

Hubert jumps in the air as the bolt releases Natural 20 no my god with a named no Character her name is blue lady. That's ridiculous. I mean, oh No. Character. No. Her name is Blue Lady, that's ridiculous. I mean. No. Oh my god. I'm switching dice. I'm switching, this is a perfectly unchipped die.

It's all right guys, I've got a bottle cap. And a backup character. We need you to do the killing. You can do it. When have I done that? I mean, I guess I did kill the. I need a fan critical. This is a named character.

Maybe this will be one of those great crits that's like nothing bad happens. I'm sick to my stomach. Fuck Troy, like it's bad for Troy. Sick to Joe's stomach. Yeah. I'm not hungry. I don't want lunch.

I'm still hungry. I'm still hungry. I'm still hungry. Worked up an appetite. Okay. Death makes still hungry. I'm still hungry. I'm still hungry. I'm so hungry. Worked up an appetite. Uh, okay. Death makes me hungry. Okay, all right, this one from Yetzi in Auckland, New Zealand. Yetzi.

Hi, Yetzi. Yetzi. Collarbones are overrated anyway. Your shot smashes the enemy right in the collarbone and with a little lock shatters it into pieces. Oh, ow. Oh. The attempt of fortitude save. Me? Yeah. All right. Fortitude is being affected by drained right now. Yetzee, what do you do? Do I get a bless plus one from that? No. That's just attack. 16. Fail, not a critical fail. Failure.

You double damage and you are clumsy for 1d2 rounds and your weapon gains the deadly D8 trait for the purposes of calculating crit damage. Cool. You're gonna need that. It doesn't matter, she's going down. You're gonna need that. It doesn't matter, she's going down. You're gonna need that. Yeah, you are clumsy.

She's going down, she's gonna be unconscious. She's the clumsiest of all. She's asleep. I'm sorry, clumsy one for two rounds. Okay. Clumsy one for two rounds. It would be 10 piercing. Down.

Plus crossbow precision is a DA, which I assume I would double that. And then another DA on top of that. If you do so much damage, what happens? It would have to go beyond double your max hit. Okay, yeah, yeah. And it was a lot of damage, but I don't think it's going to take you there. However, you do go to dying too. Her collarbone shatters. Shatters. Oh yeah, and clumsy one.

Balls. Thank you, Yetzi. That dying lady is real clumsy. You got it. The root cluts. Well, that's what you were not hoping for, but you knew the risks. Not surprised. You knew the risks.

Okay. She will come into the room with a running reload. One action shoot, second action running reload. And now with Zephyr down as a clean shot on Asta. Crossbow precision will not be in effect here because it's only on the first attack. What die do I roll?

He's trying to find a die that doesn't roll natural 20. Give me Joe's dice. Imagine having that problem. I'll go back to neon green. Roll's terrible. Yeah, yeah, let's do it. With the map. It rolls for so long.

16. Miss. Oh, miss. God. Don't you dare. That's its turn. It is now Raider 2's turn. Zephyr is dying too.

Buggles is wounded 1 with 3 hit points. Ramius has more hit points I think. No I'm good on hit points but I'm wounded 2. Osta's at full. Lawrence? Osta's not at full. I'm not at full. Stop saying that.

I'll start to write it. If you say it one more time then it becomes like Beetlejuice and I am at full. Barnes this is not it's not a full stop say that One more time then it becomes like Beetlejuice, and I am a full We'll see you next week I mean you have to yeah The systematic murdering of every character is gonna take at least another 25 minutes, right? But now I have a week to prepare a new AP We don't have to have that off week in between. The Barnes Chronicles.

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