The Glass Cannon Podcast - Gatewalkers Episode 59 – Backlash of the Titans

Episode Date: November 8, 2024

With their backs up against both metaphorical and real walls, the heroes desperately try to find a way to survive. Watch the video here: https://youtu.be/mJQIefVTrOo This episode was sponsored by Foundry VTT and Norse Foundry. See why tabletop gamers everywhere have made the switch to Foundry Virtual Tabletop at https://foundryvtt.com/gcp For all your random number-generating needs, visit Norse Foundry at https://norsefoundry.com For a limited time, use code "GCN" to get a free gift with your Journey Pack! Head to https://tryfum.com/GCN and use code "GCN". Visit https://hensonshaving.com/GCP to pick the razor for you, and use code "GCP" to get two years' worth of blades free with your razor—just make sure to add them to your cart. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/GCN to get 10% off your first month. Our listeners get 22% off their first order when you use code "GCP" at https://iherb.com/shop/GCP. Existing customers receive 15% off. Access exclusive podcasts, ad-free episodes, and livestreams with a 30-day free trial with code "GCN30" at jointhenaish.com. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. Watch new episodes when they premiere every Thursday at 8PM ET on youtube.com/theglasscannon. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What does possible sound like for your business? It's more cash on hand to grow with up to 55 interest-free days. Redefine possible with Business Platinum. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Terms and conditions apply. Visit mx.ca slash Business Platinum. You are listening to the Glass Cannon Network, the premier source for role-playing game entertainment. The premier source for role-playing game entertainment. Last week on the Glass Cannon podcast. You want to grab Buggles and pull his body back.

I take an attack of opportunity. Not a crit. Regular hit. Still up. Asa, you have no idea where Barnes is. You see Zephyr bleeding out, dragging Buggles' carcass back into the observatory. She touches Remus on the back. We have to leave him. Bones!

We have to leave him. Blue Lady, barking orders to the one that's chasing after Barnes. Finish them, I can smell blood! They have swords out. They're closing on you, they're coming in for the killing. He's gonna cast Rousing Splash. Oh, on B smell blood. They have swords out. They're closing on you, they're coming in for the kill. He's gonna cast Rousing Splash. Oh, on Buggles.

It wakes you up. It is Sakawatchi's turn. Should I try to put one of them to sleep? I've never tried this magic before. Yes. I'd like you to roll the will saves. God damn it. Now I'm gonna roll high.

You have better roll as expected. So you just want a die roll from me. I just want two die rolls. Come on. Natural 20. Oh my God, I'm gonna shoot myself. Oh my God. So you just want to die roll from I just want to die rolls natural 20 A roll for this it's just it's just amazing. Don't do it Not even got himself I burned your back, natural twin! There's no way. It was me and the son of a bitch! I saw it! I saw it!

Stop! You are cursed! The adventure continues... now. I'm gonna be a good boy. Oh Jingle bell chime in, jingle bell chime. He's not wearing the sweater. They didn't see it coming, folks. I didn't see it coming. Where's your hat? I wanted to sneak it by.

A Brody was setting up the lights. He goes, is this the first November? I'm like, shh, shh, shh, shh. They don't know. It's the first November wrap, as is tradition. Christmas season has begun in the Ravalli household and in the household of all of you who have come to see. Oh my God.

Just makes everything better. In my defense, I did know, I just thought you chose to move on from the bit because it didn't land so much. It's not a bit, it's my life. It's more than a bit. This is, it's early October in real life, but if you're watching this now, it's November.

And I hope those of you who've started to celebrate on November 1st like I do are having as much joy as I have with the holiday and aren't already feeling nervous. There's not a lot of time left. It's only 55 days and I'm already nervous that it's not going to be enough. I start on October 24th now, but that's a different story, because that's when Hallmark starts with their new Christmas movies. You wouldn't know it's Christmas in here though,

because it's a real somber mood. Ooh, scary ghost stories and tales of the glories of battles long, long ago. I wanna take this entire bant to talk about the situation, rather than just bant about something. Because then after the first break, Everything else seems frivolous. Everything else, well, not Christmas,

but everything besides the bant just seems silly in retrospect. How you feeling? Great. You know what? There's a, Thanks, Troy. I'm feeling great, Troy. I feel great.

I've read a book once, or maybe I've read a couple of this, but I've read a lot of space ships. I've read a book once. I've read a book once, and maybe I've read a couple at this point. Have you ever read a book that didn't have a spaceship or an orc in it? You are nailing us.

You're nailing it. OK. You want to take it back? You are nailing us. Nailing it. OK. You want to take it back? You want to go back? I've read a few books about mountain climbing. I love mountain climbing. You love mountain climbing. I'm fascinated by it.

Have you ever mountain climbed? No. Well, read these books and you'll never mountain climb. And there's an interesting thing that, all books about mountain climbing is like, they're not going to sell you on mountain climbing. No, if they write a book about it, it's because something horrible happened.

And in general, there seems to be a common theme among survivors of intense cold and high altitude sickness, that kind of stuff. And many of them speak of freezing and fear and death coming. And then a moment where you're no longer cold, you actually start to feel warm and relaxed. And you begin to accept your fate.

Your brain chemistry changes. And you start taking your gloves off. Oh, yeah. This is an actual thing, right? This is hypothermia. You start taking your jacket off. Oh yeah, this is an actual thing, right? This is hypothermia. You start taking your jacket off. Slipping into a warm bathtub. Yeah, and you just lay down in the snow and peacefully die.

Really? Your body? It's the best way to die. Yeah, and I feel like- It's like a mania from the hypothermia. You start to- Yeah, they find people who- I just need to sleep.

Yeah, and you're not like, ha ha ha. Like your body stops shivering. You don't feel cold anymore. It's horrifying. And so right now, I kind of feel like I've stops shivering, you don't feel cold anymore. It's horrifying, and so right now, I kind of feel like I've been fighting against this for so many episodes, and I've been freezing, and da da, and now I'm just like,

oh, this is just nice, this is relaxing. I took off all my clothes in the cave last episode. An end to all things. And we have- When you started making new characters, that's when you did it. Yeah, okay. You were nude, you were fully in the nude

Isn't it crazy make it snow angels at 26,000 feet Continue this mountain climbing isn't it crazy I think it's Everest where there's like bodies up there that are famous that they can't take down as like green shoes You heard about this body's like they're just up there and as you're climbing like oh is that guy nobody can save them Oh, it's right. Just let him. Because you can't get a body back down. Can't get a body back down. It's just like, ah, I think he's been removed.

But this famous one, Google, I think it's green shoes. Mount Everest, you see this poor body. The guy with green shoes? Yeah, he's got like green snow boots or something. It's crazy. But no, what I mean to say is just, I think I've come to a certain level of healthy acceptance, not surrender as much as healthy acceptance.

Because I think that we can make it a great story. And I think if it ends, we'll start another great one. So I'm happy. I think you can surrender as long as you don't give yourself away. Oh, yeah? Hey. It's a journey.

He's got a cape, just smiling. A cape and a pen and a bonestorm shirt. Sorry. Hey. Like. It's a journey. He's got a cape, just smiling nod. A cape and a pen. And a bone storm shirt. I'm ready. Yeah. That's a good shirt. Buy me bone storm or go to hell. Bone storm.

Hey, that's Christmas. Christmas. That's all. My favorite Christmas Simpsons episode. That's all he wanted for Christmas, but instead he got a, what is it? He got a Lee Carvalho's putting challenge. Lee Carvalho's putting challenge. I am Carvalho. Yeah.

Yeah, I don't know. I've been thinking a lot about it. I think that I have, I said this to you after last week's app. I was like, I feel like I've done a fair balance of giving you opportunity without taking my foot off the gas. And it just, it's not that you didn't take the opportunity. It's just the dice gods have foiled you at every single turn. And I think that's the challenge.

I think that's the challenge. I think that's the challenge. I think that's the challenge. I think that's the challenge. I think that's the challenge. I think that's the challenge. I think that's the challenge. I think that's the challenge.

I think that's the challenge. I think that's the challenge. I think that's the challenge. I think that's the challenge. I think that's the challenge. I think that's the challenge. I think that's the challenge. I my foot off the gas. And it just, it's not that you didn't take the opportunity. It's just the dice gods have foiled you at every single turn. Yes. Never more evident than your back to back natural 20s on Sleep Spell Saves.

I managed to forget about that for a little bit. I can't believe you just brought that back up. That was amazing. Do you want to know what happened before we started recording? Sydney, what happened before we started recording? What did you do? Oh, I sage, I did smudging again.

I got some Palo Santo, cause I love the smell. Mostly for comfort for when everything is bad. It smells like Christmas in here. It smells, it smells really nice. You started doing the corners. So somebody's making stuff. I did the corners, which you're supposed to do when you smudge.

I don't fucking know. And I went to sage. We're like, do this chair, do this dice. Joe't fucking know. And I went to Sage Joe's chair. You weren't here. You were in the bathroom. Joe wasn't here. And I went to his tray. I said, do his dice tray. And I went to the dice tray.

And it got snuffed out. The fire went out. The moment that I was hovering, it just went out. And I was like, well, that's done. You see what I'm talking about? Literally, black demon smoke was just like, ah! Like, it's ice.

It's so ice cold around there, it put out a fire. Ah! And it developed it. And I just kind of was like, I don't know what to think about. We all watched it happen. It was like, supernatural. Yeah. Yeah.

It's a black hole of luck. But maybe I fixed it. Maybe it was like, that's what it took, you know? Maybe. I have not rolled a die in it since you did whatever this thing you did when I wasn't here was. Well, good thing is you told me about a plan you have in the event that Asta doesn't make it. Yes.

And I'd like you to share that plan with the table. I think Anisha will love this. You're all really gonna like this. Sharks, let me introduce an idea to you. I don't know what this is. I'm asking for 5%. No. She's doing a bit from the television show Shark Tank.

Yes, I'm familiar. I have an idea. I don't feel like a mountain climber dying peacefully in the night. I don't want Asa to die. I feel very strongly. I've already had a character die on the show. I don't want my other character to die.

But the only thing that would bring me joy, if she were to die, is if I can play Hubert as a character, make him a bard. Get that camera on Joe. Exactly the reaction that was predicted. I made this face. That might be the worst idea you've had in a long time. That's the best idea. I love it.

Why is it bad? I'm in. 5%? I'm in. 5%? I'll give you 10. 5% you get equity in the character. Literally ideal. You're not considering this. You have to change theAP. I was like, you gotta tell them why. I brought it up to Troy and I said, let me know. Let me know if it's a non-starter.

Because I'll just like- The only thing worse than Hubert is a bar. I can't believe you combined those two horrible ideas. I wanted you to know, I wanted you to know on air. Troy told me, it's not a no. No! Okay. So you better keep Afsta alive, baby.

That's what I say to my kids when I- God, Ramius is gonna jump in front of her and go, no! It's not a no is what I say to my kids when I want them to just forget what they just asked. It's not a no. They're like, alright. We'll talk about it later. So it's a yes. Has it ever worked? No, they have.

Dad's old photographic memory. I was going to say photogenic memory. I always say photogenic memory. Good looking memory. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. I've gone through a bunch of permutations in my head. I mean, this combat, I wanted to end it last week because I like a 90 minute app. I hate two hour apps.

I feel like 90 minutes is a lot. I'm sure people are upset about it. But like, I'm not going to lie. I'm going to say 90 minutes is a lot. I'm going to say 90 minutes is a lot. I'm going to say 90 minutes is a lot. I'm going to say 90 minutes is a lot. I'm going to say 90 minutes is a lot. I'm going to say 90 minutes is a lot. I'm going to say 90 minutes is a lot. I'm going to say 90 minutes is a lot. I'm going through a bunch of permutations in my head. I mean, this combat. I wanted to end it last week because I like a 90-minute app.

I hate two R apps. I feel like 90 minutes is a lot. I'm sure people are upset about it. But I just like 90 minutes. I feel like it's digestible. And I just can't believe now this has been seven combat episodes in a row, I think. It's insane. Dragon, Dragon, Gate Combat 1, Gate Combat 2, Gate Combat

3. There were three. There were three Gate Combats? No. It was the... No, no. It was Dragon Dragon. Yosoki. Yosoki and Lizard. Plant, or weird fucked up skin world. With Nightgaunt. That was one episode. No. Oh, oh, oh, one episode. Yes. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, I'm sorry, episodes. And then it was Karen white Karen Karen Then it was the Raiders. Yes, then it was running away from the red. Yeah, this is that seventh in a row I think this is the eighth right have not rested Yeah have not rested have not rested Wild Wow

Wild if you could pull through here. Never mind. The glorious bounty. I'm in a warm blanket. You're in a warm blanket. Of ice. You're removing your thermal underwear. I'm removing my thermal underwear.

Yeah. We're in what they call in mountain climbing, the death zone. Merry Christmas. We'll be back after the break. OK. This episode of the GCP is sponsored by the greatest flavored air device ever conceived or constructed by the hands of humans.

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No, it saved my life for a short period, perhaps temporarily. But yeah, this one saved the lives of multiple raiders. That one right there. Yup. Also, I'm going to be worshiping it as a god. For real. Be sure to check out our subscription service. We're doing a 30 day free trial.

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We take that to heart. All right. Without further ado. Adieu. Adieu. Got this. Let's get back into it. I realized a really cool function between last week

and this week that I can unlink the initiative tracker so that it doesn't just stay on the map that it was on. Oh, cool. Oh, cool. Phenomenal. So I only have to bounce back and forth for Barnes' death. I can keep everyone else here. Barnes!

So Sakawatchee, after realizing how fruitless this situation was going to be, comes up a couple rounds ago. I've never been in a fight. I don't know what to do. I have magics. I've never used them before. What do you want me to do? Praise to his gods to bless you Last round he extends the radius of that bless and also attempts to put two of these hoboblin raiders

Which have now entered the observatory breached the building to sleep. I let Joe roll the will saves To sleep, I let Joe roll the will saves. Spectacular, easily the most spectacular failure in the history of the show, two natural 20s for them to critically succeed. So unbelievable. On their saves. I mean, who knows how I would have even run sleep. We mentioned that it is kind of an out of combat thing,

but I certainly would have given you an edge around to. Something, an action. I had after the fact, after that episode, we talked a lot and I was like, you know what, I'm not gonna beat myself up over this. Sleep would have been useless. Let the internet do that. Yeah, sleep would have been useless.

Even if I failed the saves as we wanted to, it wouldn't have been helpful. And then you were like, well, no wait, even if it was quote unquote useless, you would still have at least dropping weapons, perhaps falling prone for a round. You have to get back up and get everything. So I was just like, you're right.

This was a huge disaster that I rolled these two natural 20s. Yeah, no, it could have been, huge disaster. I mean, to be fair, you had to fail and they had bonuses. Yeah. So that would have been hard. They did have bonuses. They had plus ones.

They might have passed anyway. But for you to just so spectacularly, who threw in all shots. It was the most unlikely thing that was also the most predictable thing that happened. That's it. Yeah. That's it.

Yeah. Meanwhile, I'm- It was like the ball rolling between Buckner's legs. Too soon. Very strange, but too soon. Meanwhile, I'm... It was like the ball rolling between Buckner's legs. Yeah. Yeah. Too soon. Very strange, but too soon. Meanwhile, I'm switching D20s left and right, trying to get one that doesn't roll 20s

and just consistently rolling. 20, 20. I'm seeing that planet die more times in my dice tray than I've seen our logo in the public. It's just, this is what happens we talk about this all the time we've talked about this for 10 years when the PCs roll poorly and the GM rolls rocks people die and that's kind of where we're at here or in the middle of round five even though it feels like round 25. The leader of this

group the woman this blue lady we've called her, this blue hobgoblin lady, has also breached the building. She's using her running reload to get that movement and free reload of her crossbow, which has just been devastating with all the extra shit. She's taken poor Zephyr down to dying too with a crit. We didn't even roll out the damage because it didn't matter. Bugles was brought back up by Ramius giving him four, three temporary hit points for one minute. Enough to like get him into the fight here. He tried to freeze blast one in the back the one that's on death's door. Wasn't able able to do it Asta's facebolt missed Meanwhile Barnes is outside

It's Raider 2's turn. This is the one that by all accounts should be dead We spent an entire episode trying to kill this guy who has single hit points Failed so insane and not for lack of trying he failed This guy who has single hit points. Yes. And failed. So insane. And not for lack of trying, he failed. Man, okay. They have swords out now. They've dropped their bows. So here's what I'm going to do.

This one is going to pull his shield off of his back. He's going to move up to Asta, second action. Third action is going to strike you with a long sword. Yet again, I need my glasses. Okay. Asta, no. Just lie. I didn't roll this one. I haven't rolled this one in a while. This is from a friend of the show, Nor foundry zone Eric sent me red socks dice

They're not in the playoffs, so I might as well roll this dice Here we go. Let's die. No that you guys got white mine doesn't have any of that white bullshit Oh, you mean oh mine's America. Yeah It's not just I don't know what you got for your points. I know you're drained too Probably wounded just roll your dice Can't even look I don't want to know for your points. I know you're drained too. Probably wounded. Just roll your dice. I can't even look. I don't wanna know.

Okay. As middling as it goes. That's a hit. But that's gonna be a- 29. 20 total. Miss. What?

From my breastplate that I got. From the dragon hoard. From the roll off. My plus one breastplate. S dragon horde. From the roll off. My plus one breastplate. Saves your life. In game roll off. Saved my life. That is the full compliment of its actions.

You're done. Zephyr will move in the initiative order. So now, meanwhile, deep within the Skywatch. Let's get all barnsie. Barns and noble.. Barnes and Noble. Barnes and Noble. You have been you jumped this all began from Barnes curiosity. Not even curiosity you were trying to

concerned about him this guy running back to get friends. Right. And he does friends are ready. God his friends didn't get involved. I was. While this was a tactical blunder, my concern was justified. Yes, it was a heroic intention,

but intentions do not matter. You jumped into the water, they're firing potshots at you. You start going down, they turn their attention to the rest of the party, but one guy, the original guy that burst into the observatory, he's still been on you. You're playing kind of cat and mouse with him, using your mirror to reflect yourself onto one shore,

behind a barrel, onto the other dock. Now he is standing across from you. There's a little bridge separating you. The con is yours. So, I'm gonna take an action here. You can take three. I'm probably, well, we'll see to take an action here. You can take three. I'm probably, well, we'll see. Very generous.

We were talking about the distinction, is this going to be a TPK? Or is it going to be a TPK minus Barnes and then Barnes gets away? Because weirdly I'm in a slightly more safe position. Here's the question. I think on this network that's a TPQ because it's what happens to Karazur. There you go, TPQ, I like that. Oh nice. Oh, T-shirt.

I'll make it simple for you. Don't tell me what to do. Do you, no, it's a simple question. Do you want to play Gatewalkers? Because you hold it literally in your hands. I really don't. You don't? You really do. I don't hold it in my hands.

Oh, I was like, what the fuck? You don't want to play Gatewalkers? I don't hold it in my hands. What player I was like what the fuck? You don't want to play Gatewalkers? Right now. Now that said I'm gonna take an action now that could it it unfortunately comes down to a die roll Okay, it's risky. Don't like it already. It actually comes out It actually comes out the two dice rolls. You don't want to play Gatewalkers It comes out of two dice rolls? Wait a minute! so Barnes You don't want to play Gatewalkers. It comes out of two dice rolls? Wait a minute! So, Barnes, your guy has now walked into 30 feet of range of Barnes. This is true? Barnes reaches out and tries to use his deviant ability to blast this guy across the canal.

The canal blast? The canal blast. Okay. But I gotta roll the backlash for this ability. Joe, what's the backlash for blasting beams? across the canal. The canal blast? The canal blast. Okay. But I gotta roll the backlash for this ability. Joe, what's the backlash for blasting beams? I don't know. You deal damage to yourself.

Oh, wow. You deal damage equal to your level. DC five flasher. Have you used this blast today? No. Maybe, it's been a long day. I've used it once, but I might've used it today. I think you did use it today,

which may be a DC-10. When, when, when? On the, uh, on Akiton or something. This is your 40th combat in a row. I remember you mentioning this. Is it worth it? I mean, are you going to put on enough damage to kill him in one hit? You told me he was blooded.

You said he, but he... I don't know if I used that term. He was hurt in the previous battle. Okay. He was hit once oh then this is now the mr. might not be worth the reason I worth it I thought he was like what's the max damage you can do nine yeah the deviant abilities that's with that's with my I can't create my personal I could create it so I guess if I guess I could create so that I go up to named character 18

Well, he's not in formation. He doesn't have a shield. But yeah What are your other options? running right Do you have a weapon in your hand if you'd like to play? Yeah, I Have I have my short sword man if you could take out this guy that would Then there's only three of them left and then you can join that party yeah well I don't know if you leave the one hopeful the observatory they can all vibe off each other and get buffs yeah how about

this map yeah which one you guys can't see the map because you don't have a character yeah it's like kind of well I don't want you to not see it. I'll put you up back on the map All right Yeah, okay, if that's the case and Barnes is going to I should be able to see it now yeah Barnes is going to rush up onto the bridge. Oh boy fools Russian. Oh my god Teetering there unfortunately to get there in one move action that deprives me of a space to mirror image myself in such a way that I can get that little flank bone.

I'm gonna go Saab's flank bone I'm gonna swing with the short sword. Come on Wait, you can't get 25 feet? I'm standing on 25. 5 Five, 10, 15, oh, cause two diagonals. Two diagonals. You can't get that 30 feet of movement parts. Yeah. More if I leveled up.

If this was 20. Natural 16. Ooh. Okay. 25 to hit. That is a hit. Yes. It's a definite hit. Okay. Yes. Turn it around. 17 points of damage. Okay. Yes. Another round.

17 points of damage. Damn. He's in very, very bad shape. Okay. You have another attack. You can kill him right here. Yes. Hit him again. When he Bobcats.

You're gonna fire a nine point energy beam and you're gonna do 17? You got this. On a non crit swing? Yeah, but now I'm up. Now if I don't kill him here, he's gonna kill me. Yeah, so just kill him. He's killing a bow.

He's not gonna kill you. Easy. Natural you. Easy. Natural three. Do I want to turn the bottle cap? Do it, do it, do it, do it, do it. Yes. But if he takes me down, I miss again. I miss again. You have to risk it.

You don't have anything resembling an A.O.O., right? I say risk it for the biscuit. I say use bottle caps for fun. Yay! That's tough though on a map roll. I know. I think it's good. But I mean it's the end of all things. I think it's good.

Oh my god. Good night everybody! I feel like I was just slapped in the face. Good night New York! That's Game Walkers everybody! I'd like to shout out the writers of the first book and a half. Writers of this broken adventure. I did my best, but I guess my best wasn't good enough. The gods of whatever really don't want us to play this fucking game.

No, no, I guess not. It's laughable. I cannot... Any number! I cannot... Is a miss! Believe. Natural one.

Some numbers would have been hits. there's a couple hit numbers in there All right this one from Peter Martinson from Malmo, Skåne County, Sweden Hi, how would you say SK a ne? Nice over there weren't you yeah, I think it's actually scone scone I think the a is supposed to have a little like does all over it. Yeah potato potato Blueberries this one from Peter Martinson. I have amazing friends Embarrassed by your failed attack you jealously think back on the last critical hit one of the other player characters pulled off I don't know that that ever happened. Okay, let's move on then

Keep going roll a will save pulled off. I don't remember the last time that happened. I don't know if that ever happened. Okay, let's move on then. Keep going. Roll a will save. Against the creatures A, Sizzle. Sizzle. It's A, Sizzle. 25. It's a success.

Success. You become... Peter? What have you done? You become fascinated by that character and their amazing skills for one round. What was the fail? It's great, because it doesn't work.

Anybody that ever thought for one minute that Fascinate ever has anything to do in combat does not know how to play the game. Fascinated by one of you? Don't yell at Peter! You take a minus two Satisfaction Perception Skill Checks, you can't use Concentration Actions. I don't know if Glint the mirror has a concentration trait. Related to stuff, for instance, you might be able to see.

All right, so it's not the end of the world, but just a- It doesn't say anything in there about if you are attacked or if you, nothing in there. This condition ends if a creature uses hostile actions against you or any of your allies. Okay, so yeah, it'll end. That's not cool.

Maybe he'll just look at you and be like, ha ha ha, run to the others. Yeah, could, could, could. Maybe he dives in the water. You tried. You tried. Tried. It is Asta, and I love you labeled as Asta,

parentheses, kitsune form. Back when we thought you had three forms. Yeah, we were so young then, so naive. You are standing toe to toe with a raider, the one that is like on death's door. Yeah, I was gonna ask if it was that one, I couldn't remember. I'm not gonna do my spell strike,

I'm just gonna hit it with the katana. Hit it and quit it. Hit it and quit it. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. Just hit it. Yeah, just hit it. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. Just hit it. Yeah, just hit it. Come on. Santa Claus!

Cindy! Just hit it. At least let's take a couple of them out. Yeah. Yeah. Or one. Or one. Let's go.

Or one, let's start with one. Asta, Asta's screaming. She's screaming. 17? He has a shield, but he did not raise it. He has it out. It's still a miss. I think it's a miss.

17 is a miss. Yeah, I think it's 18. Every day in every way. All right, I'm hitting it, I'm trying again. Trying again, swinging katana two-handed. Let's fucking do something, come on. Wait a minute, did you count bless? Oh no, I didn't.

18. 18. I believe they're AC. It's 19. Yeah. Miss, okay. This... What is that? Is that the-

That's a four. It's really important to get dice so you can read quickly and easily. What the fuck is that? I brought in new dice to help me. They're not helpful in any way, they've got a Norse foundry die No, I don't think so why on earth these were a gifted die from somebody so I was hoping for some luck What is it like this is show sponsored by your friend?

What's on the opposite base also are in like a different order? No, I brought it in I just like a joke died No, I brought it in I just like a joke died It's got the 20 the 2 is near the 20 it's not a joke die made for babies It's not a joke die I think it's a 5. Oh anyway. It's a fucking miss. It's a single digit guys. What do I do third action try to hit? No, no back in the day I was gifted a die from a member of the N.A.S.H. that I honestly didn't know and wasn't told was a trick die. What?

I had a 20 on the 1. Oh, I remember that. There were two 20s and I used it for a while. My. Did you roll? I rolled a few natural 20s. A couple asterisks. We'll never know.

Those giant flare ups. And I was like, that was so sneaky, N.A.S.H. member. Here's my thing. Lofty. Here's my thing. Loved it. Here's my thing. I know we just did that thing that we do, where it's like, should I roll this home? Anything could happen, but it could be,

one, this one is on Death's Door. I feel like I should just try to hit it on this last one. Or give someone else a better chance to hit it there. With an eight? Yeah. Make sure it doesn't conflict with Bless. But the two of those Raiders go before anyone else. Here's the thing, Zephyr is down,

the Raiders go before us, I can give it to Buggles, but I don't know if Buggles is gonna be able to- I'm not gonna be rolling to hit it. Yeah. What's your, they have a 19 acing, this guy has a 19 acing. Yes. So what is your, what's your,

and this is your third attack? Zero. So you have a two and, you have a one and 10 chance, a 10% chance. Right, but I'm saying if I aid someone, I don't even think that's gonna do anything for anyone's turn. Are you gonna attack them?

Buggles will attack. Buggles is not gonna attack on his turn. He's lying on the ground, he's prone. I'm not gonna be making an attack. You know who may be inspired to attack? Hubert. There's a little hedgehog 20 feet to the south. He's not even an initiative. He's holding his dagger. He says, what do I do, Asta? Everyone's going to sleep. Oh my god. Asta. What do I do?

There's blood coming from her fanged teeth. Her fur is all messed up. She looks singed in some places, cut in other places, and she looks at Hubert. And she says. It does stack with the Blast, by the way. It does stack. Circumstance and Stabs. Oh, it does? So then should I just give it to Buggles?. Circumstance and Stabs. Oh, it does? Yeah.

So then should I just give it to Buggles? I'm not going to be making it. Oh, so then I, all right. So then she says to Hubert, Hubert, you're our only hope! And you see a tear. A single tear. Single tear. Wetting her fur, darkening it on her face.

And Asta thinks this is the end, because Hubert won't do it, but she's cleating her eyes. These two animals, they're looking at each other. These animal, human hybrid forms, and she's looking, she is cleating. Hubert has a connection with Asta, we've established this. They're friends, and he's in love with her. Well, it's Original Raider's turn.

I think he's in lust with you. Potato potato. And Original Raider is standing toe to toe with Barnes. Well, it's original Raiders turn. I think he's in lust with you potato and Original Raider is standing toe-to-toe with Barnes now at death's door Got a short bow out though And still fire it from right next to you Seems weird, but there's no reason why I can't Seems weird, but there's no reason why I can't. Sound like it'll provoke.

Right. Wouldn't you get a penalty from being point blank? You definitely would. With the short bow? Just as a range instrument, range increment 60. Doesn't have the volley property. Doesn't have the volley, John. Long bows have that. I mean, the penalty is you provoke and attack. You provoke.

But he doesn't have an AOO. Not a fighter. Yeah. It has an AOO. Maybe it needs to do a recall knowledge to see if Barnes has an AOO. That's an accident. It's going to pull back and fire at points. Doesn't have his sword out, so it's keeping that distance. You can do the swap action.

Swap. No, I want to keep the short bow out. You could roll a natural one. Yep. Why not? I did it. It's possible. Can you swap a short bow for a long sword? I guess you could. Yes. Seems weird. I kept dropping my bows. Now I'm gonna step back and I'm gonna fire. natural five 15 to hit okay now we're talking first action move back second action shoot I shoot again

I shoot again Total 17 yes Dude you got it now. You're gonna get a 12 plus 5 17 But that was lights out. I thought so too. All right. Now you can blast him. We go back to the observatory. Now you can blast him.

Between episodes, I did roll initiative for Hubert, and you'll see that he has the lowest initiative. In the spot here. Hubert, so. But now he's got aid. He's got aid. Well, you're gonna roll for aid. Oh, I'm gonna roll.

Diplomacy, what is it? You just make it a tech roll. Well, you're going to roll for eight. Oh, I'm going to roll. Diplomacy? What is it? You just make an attack roll. Oh, OK. Yeah. Do you want me to do that now or on his head? Well, Hubert has his little dagger in hand, but here's what we're going to do. Hubert has an action.

He's never been in battle before. He's been in battles with you, but you've seen how useless he is. He is written to not help. But seeing you threatened by this creature is going to turn around, butt first towards the creature and scuttle towards it with his eyes closed to try and poke it with his quills. He's holding a dagger. This is better if it hits.

This is so funny. Okay. It's called rearward rush. It's two actions. The porcupine scuttles backward, quills extended. It strides twice then makes a quill strike. The target is off guard against the strike unless it has seen a rearward rush before,

which it has not. This hop-golin is just like, what the fuck? What the fuck is this thing doing? What the hell is that? So roll for aid. Am I adding anything? Do I add my... It's just your base attack bonus. Whatever your attack is. For my first, I'm not saying there's no map. Yeah, yeah, your highest attack bonus.

Alright, let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Yeah, 27. Oh, that's crit. That's a crit. Oh, so plus two. That's plus two. But I'm gonna have Joe roll Cupid's attack. No! Why? Why? Because it's good for the show.

Joe, you have a plus two. His Quill Strike is a plus nine, so you have a plus 11. It's 11. How can you, and he's off guard. And he's off guard. And he's off guard. Come on. It's just not fair.

Oh my god. Comes running towards him. But. Ha ha ha ha ha. Turn him around and make him butt scoot. Extended. His hat. Butt scoot.

All right, here we go. Plus 11. I'm actually like, I have butterflies in my stomach. His hat Let's go all right here. We go like a look Me lady. I'm actually like I have butterflies in my stomach here. We go Hubert dude 24 9013 total 24 total 24 plus two oh

Not but with bless. It's 25. Good, that is a hit. Yes. Okay. All right, so give me one D8 plus two damage. Ah, shit. Ha, eight points of damage. And he's dead. Yes! Oh, human! Oh, just a second.

Oh, one down. My. Perhaps that was the morale boost we needed. He just, he doesn't even know he's just embedded in this thing and he uses his last action to pull himself up flavor wise. That is Hubert's turn. We go to round six. It is Raider one's turn.

Raider one is the one with full hit points directly next to Zephyr so incredibly bad situation he Has a sword And a shield I believe And is going to I was going to come after Sakawawachi, but now I'm coming after Hubert. Steps forward. No. Swings. Oh my God.

With the long sword. 25 to hit, which, why is this AC Grif? I mean, he's level one though. He doesn't have any armor. He's a little loin cloth. Why is he level one? He should be at least level two.

That is a hit, not a crit. Hit, not a crit, but very close to a crit. That's gonna be one D8 plus five damage. Yes, he doesn't want you to play. Oh, minimum damage. Six points of damage. To the hedge. Third action, raise his shield.

Brother Ramious. Brother Ramious. What are you laughing about? Ramious. I'm just remembering the two natural toys in a row. Suckawatchy. Vietnam wand on that Quill attack. Oh my god. It's game.

Yeah, I would have quit. Trying to remind myself, warm blanket, don't have any hope. No, I see, all right. I'll put it out to you guys. This is life and death. So I'd like to, what my character would do is bring Zephyr back. But I don't know if that's just stupid because she will get an attack, but then the blue

lady is just going to put her down. Yeah. And I think she wants because she dropped off. She has to pick up her weapon. I wouldn't. Oh no, actually you could just like. Yeah, I would use my hands at that. Blue Lady putting her down though takes Blue Lady away from attacking somebody else.

Yeah. So if I don't put her, bring her up, Blue Lady probably attacks Hubert or Asta or Buggles. Or Buggles. Yeah, probably not Buggles. Maybe Brother Ramius. He has line of sight mostly on Buggles. And don't forget that what you would call it's a target too. Sakuwachi. Yeah. I'm just trying to wait if like, if she go, ugh.

Put me in, coach. You wanna go in? That's what she was intending to do by like putting herself in front of everyone. So if you bring her up again, that's what she will do. She will try to keep them on her and probably go down again, but what else would you do? Wait till everyone dies and then bring her back?

Well, no, I would wait until the creature was distracted by something else and then you can come up from behind or something, but... Keep in mind, both hobgoblins have yet to be touched. Yeah, I know. I really don't... That's why it's... I don't want to care too much about it because it really is such an uphill battle. All right, then I'll bring Zephyr back.

So at least you can play Pathfinder. Yay! So I will bring Zephyr back with a Rousing Splash. You get two hit points, temporary hit points, and then I will cast Shield. And you will cast? All myself. Shield. So I'm wounded.

You're wounded, you're no longer dying. You were never wounded, right? So you're wounded one. Okay. I'll put that on here. John. Wounded, prone, drained, off guard. Bam bam bam. Bam bam. Sakawatchi's turn. Sakawatchi has guidance but bless is a status bonus so guidance would not stack. Sakawatch you can aid also a status bonus. Aid Asta, but Asta's not coming up until after Blueade. In this circumstance, aid is the best that he can do. And so he's actually going to use his fortune telling lore to see what is about to happen.

Whoa. And we'll aid Asta. Okay. On your next turn. We'll attempt to aid Asta. I love that. I should say. And that's it for Sakawatchie.

Buggles. Are either of our opponents wearing metal armor? Let's look. Let's look at the video tape here. Go to the inventory. Hide armor for the one just north of Zephyr. And I mean the boss's picture looks like she has hide armor. Uh, Scale Mail. Actually yeah, look at that. She just has a fur collar.

Okay. So... You are in Bless range, should that matter? Oh, I can also... Sorry, Sack Watch is gonna expand Bless again. Not that it really matters. Now it'll go to 35? 35. So, Buggles is lying on the ground, barely alive, artificially alive, and his eyes flash

and the Kulu Khan emerges, perhaps for the last time. Oh, you had to say it. Furious that his vessel may about to be taken from him. Hot cuss! that his vessel may about to be taken from him. Hot cast! And I'm going to need a fortitude saving throw from the boss lady. Fortitude saving throw.

Yeah, what the fuck? Reflex. Reflex. Okay, she is not in formation. We'll not get a bone to her reflex. 24. That is a regular success. success. Shit. That sucks. Half damage? So her metal starts like glowing red of her armor and heats up to a painful degree. And she takes half damage. So she takes nine points of damage. Okay. Wow, that was half? That's awesome. Is there persistent damage? There would have been if she had failed. Yeah. And then with his third action, he is going to unleash a Psychic Burst,

a whatever it's fucking called, on the other guy. On the other guy. So I need a Fortitude save from that guy. Fortitude save for the other guy. On the other guy? So I need a Fortitude save from that guy. Fortitude save for the other guy. Also not in formation now that his ally is dead. And that is a 23.

Another basic success. So that he takes three points of legend of damage. Okay. Sorry, would a 20, would I say 23, would a 22 have been any different? No. I'm sorry, how much damage? What'd I say? Three. Three.

Okay. All right, they've both taken damage now. That had yet to happen. It's an important first step. Sephir, you're drained. You're prone. You're wounded. You're off guard.

You're clumsy. Am I still clumsy? I think this is your last round. It was clumsy once, two rounds. This is the second round. Let me just put that back here. Clumsy, clumsy. You missed by one.

I understand if you have to leave. So, I can't leave this cube. We're locked in here. The hobgoblin above me, they all have the- All of the attack of opportunity? Yeah, I was gonna say they all have attack of opportunities. I know he raised a shield, but that doesn't- I thought it negated.

It doesn't, so don't do what I did. Remember I did a spell attack because he raised a shield and I still got, yeah. So I was trying to look it up, but I didn't see anything that said, like, if you raise a shield- I don't know why I thought that. He's got two possible reactions.

Shield block. Shield block. So So you're prone. Right, but if I try to get up and he hits me, I only have two temporary hit points. Hit him from the ground. I think I should just try to hit him from the ground. Hit him from the ground. I think so.

Are you kicking or you ranged? Kicking. Kicking. I don't have my bow in my hand. Kicking won't provoke, yeah. So what happens is she gets the cold water splash on her. She immediately comes back to life. And as that happens, her limbs just like, boom, boom, boom, boom.

She's gonna do her awakening power again. Yes. Okay. For like the third time today. DC 15. What's the negative? I don't know, but like that's what she would do. Yeah. Deviant Jump.

So DC 15, are you serious? DC 15, are you serious? DC 15, yeah. Blatcher. That's gonna fail. 13. But, whatever. Okay, we'll deal with your backlash after the power goes through, I believe that's how

we do it. What is it called again? It's called... Titan Swing. Titan Swing. Um... Let me just find it again, because I selected the upgraded one. Oh yeah, you beefed that job.

Oh, here it is. Okay, I just wanted to make sure. I'm pretty sure I don't get any pluses to hit. That's with my focus spell thing. Make a melee strike if it hits. Yeah. Okay. Alright, regular melee strike.

Good knock it prone on a crit. crit tries to kick it with her feet Oh no, that's gonna be bottle cap. It's my last one yeah But what then I stabilize and I'm still in the same spot and Yeah Like what's the point of stabilizing it's really no point in being stable because it's not like somebody else can save you right like no one else is gonna yeah we're all like you've used all your spells you just got this like water I could use I could stabilize you but like so that's so

that's another reason to use the bottle cap yeah I could stabilize you I mean what if we all end up stabilized we all get them down and stabilize they could just ransack our bodies and we might survive well, I thought there might be yeah like a Prisoner sort of situation. Yeah stabilized but like I don't think you need your bottle cap to do that I think this is your last attack. Yeah life. I think I think it's possible it is so Whatever you want to do. I just get really mad about thinking my... Using my bottle cap for stabilizing, and it's just so much more fun to use it for anything other than that.

Yeah. So... Do it, Kate! Kate! Do it! I tell you, the backlash is also not great. Yep, just write it. It's a mild one, right? You haven't backlash already today, have you? Uh, yes. Um, probably.

Yes. So it would be the moderate backlash? Oh gosh. You're gonna be enfeebled one, clumsy one, and fatigued until you need a full meal, which requires at least 10 minutes. All out. Natural 20.

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Natural 20 on a cap! Wow! I'm the man who rocks around the cave, I'm the man who rocks around the cave, I'm the man who rocks around the cave, I'm the man who rocks around the cave, I'm the man who rocks around the cave, I'm the man who rocks around the cave, I'm the man who rocks around the cave, I'm the man who rocks around the cave, I'm the man who rocks around the cave, I'm the man who rocks around the cave, I'm the man who rocks around the cave, I'm the man who rocks around the cave, I'm the man who rocks around the cave, I'm the man who rocks around the cave, I'm the man who rocks around the cave, I'm the man who rocks around the cave, I'm the man who rocks around the cave, I'm the man who rocks around the cave, I'm the man who rocks around the cave, I'm the man who rocks around the cave, I'm the man who rocks around the cave, I'm the man who rocks around the cave, I'm the man who rocks around the cave, I'm the man who rocks around the cave, I'm the man who rocks around the cave, I'm the man who rocks around the cave, I'm the man who rocks around the cave, I'm the man who rocks around the cave, I'm the man who rocks around the cave, I'm the man who rocks around the cave, I'm the man who rocks around the cave, I'm the man who rocks around the cave, I'm the man who rocks around the cave, I'm the man who rocks around the cave, I'm the man who rocks around the cave, I'm the man who rocks around the cave, I'm the man who rocks around the cave, I'm the man who rocks around the cave, I'm the man who rocks around the cave, I'm the man who rocks around the cave, I'm the man who rocks around the cave, I'm the man who rocks around the cave, I'm the man who rocks around so now which Titan Swing Awakened Power did you take? I took the one that Bleed. All right, so the other one. All right, so on a hit, you're gonna also deal 1d6 Persistent Bleed. So you're gonna do, if it hits, you deal an extra die of weapon damage and push the target back by five feet. And you're gonna do 1d6 persistent bleed.

And all this is, well, it might double. Let's see what the fan crits. No, it's only prone if she had taken the other one. So an extra d6 of damage to start. So I rolled 2d6. Well, first he's gonna tell you the fan crits. Oh, okay, all right, all right. So many things, there's so many things.

We so infrequently roll natural 20s. I know. All right, this one. Oh, wow. Wow, sometimes these are amazing. Like in how they line up. Elliot Flower from Puyallup, Washington. Puyallup. Puyallup? Puyallup.

Puyallup, Washington. Kinetic juggernaut. Whoa. With a superhuman surge of power. That's cool. Your strike has infused you with Herculean athleticism. Titan. Fling the target of your strike up to 30 feet away. Holy shit.

My. Hell yeah. Wow. Dealing extra damage as if the creature had fallen the same distance. Oh. If you wish to direct this poor sap toward another unfortunate individual, make a ranged strike against your new

target with a plus two circumstance bonus, dealing the same amount of damage to the rolled and the initial target. I was literally overwhelmed right now. This is the last stuff I got to do. We people bowling tonight. I was literally like automatically gaming the system when that you read that and I was like throw him into her And he already knows that you were gonna suggest that All right, so let's really walk through this my god, what is your normal damage you just hit somebody with my fists or legs?

1d6 1d6 so I'm 6 plus Two of those. But you're also gonna do, it's 2d6 plus three. 2d6 plus three doubled. Okay. Don't worry about the bleed, I'm just gonna put persistent bleed on him because you're not gonna roll that now. He'll take that on his turn. That should also be 2d6 bleed.

Oh yeah. Does that double? Yeah. I mean, typically with these abilities, it does. It doesn't say it in the ability, so I don't know. But if persistent damage is doubled it's doubled. Yeah it says on a hit, regular hit it's 1d6. Yeah.

Okay. So if persistent it's up to you. Yeah I'm gonna give it to you you need everything you can get here. Alright so 2d6 plus 3. Doubled. Doubled. Start with that. Plus 3 for each dice.

No no no. No. Eww. Um 10 points is 2d6 plus three. Okay. Twenty. Wait. Wait.

No. I rolled 2d6. Oh. And what did you roll? 2d6 plus three. Seven. Plus three, ten. So that's twenty points of damage.

Oh, okay. Twenty points of damage. Okay. Yeah. Alright, now... Was there any extra damage or is it just the falling damage? It depends on the distance she kicks him. Alright, so wherever he lands he takes that much damage as if he had fallen. Alright, so thirty feet you said? Or no, It depends on the distance she kicks him. All right, so wherever he lands, he takes that much damage as if he had fallen.

All right, so 30 feet, you said? Or no, it depends on the distance. It's 30 feet if she wants to, because she's got the room down the hallway. Or you can roll an attack roll to try to knock him into her, where he would take 20 feet of damage. Which is 10.

And then also hits the thing. And then hits her for how much damage? The same, 10. 10, all right, so. But she'd have to make a range. You can either fling him for up to 15 more points of damage. Guaranteed. Guaranteed.

Or attempt to redirect him into her, and then he wouldn't take any if she missed, right? He takes the damage if she misses, but the target doesn't. But the target doesn't, yeah. So those are your options. Fling him, get 15. So it seems like.

Fling him at her, get at least 10. Oh ho ho ho ho ho. And then maybe give 10 to her. That second one. Okay so is that a ranged attack? Ranged attack, it'll take the map. Okay. Let me just look at my map, okay.

It's not good odds but it's cool so. It's like it's her AC. Nah it's gonna be a 13. It's not good odds, but it's cool, so. It's against her AC. Nah, it's gonna be a 13. Okay, good news, bad news. You fling him at her. He hits her armor and dies. Wow! That's awesome!

That's phenomenal! Yeah, that's great! Wow! I'm glad I attempted it then. That's amazing! That's great. Smacks into her, just dies. Maybe she kills him for his failure.

She's just like, oh my god! As he falls by the wayside. She's just like you. Disgusting. Yeah, that's enough. That is the most insane crit, especially timed with your Titan swing. Oh yeah. Unfortunately, you are now, you remain clumsy one.

You are enfeebled one and you are fatigued. Enfeebled. Until you eat. You did your job. You did your job. That was worth it. You had to kill one guy. Like I can't believe.

So with her final action, she stands up with like her lip just like bleeding, just like dreary eyed with two temporary hit points just facing the blue lady. I could do this all day. She's just like feebly like. That's amazing. In a stance like with her fists up. With her super long arms. Oh yeah, huge. Freakishly disgusting arms.

She vomits on the ground. They actually zap back. And we already did the backlash. The backlash was my conditions. And you put those all on? It's Blue lady's turn What is your name if you seek to slay us all North case, huh? Oh

Remember that name for it is the last name you will ever hear she says to Zephyr Zephyr spits. Because that's how crossbows look. I don't fucking know. Also, if she's going to kill her right now, she doesn't really have to remember, right? It would be nice for her to know the name of her destroyer. Crossbow attack. At your face.

Natural one. 29 to hit. Crit. No! With all the negatives? I've got like 8 conditions. We'll be back right after this crit. God damn it! This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. So I want to take a moment to say thank you to some of the folks that make this show possible. I mean, you get to see all of us on screen or hear our voices. Some of these folks you know and some of these folks you may have heard about but often are

in a more backstage role. So I just want to say thank you to Francis, CJ and Matt. Francis and CJ are tech producers for the show and Matt is our cinematographer and they do great work and obviously they deal with a lot of shenanigans from certain personalities that appear on the podcast. I'm not naming names. We have a great time but they do such great work enabling us to put out the content each week that we put out. So I just want to take a moment to thank them because this month is all about gratitude. The one thing that's weird though, and this might be a hard segue,

but it can sometimes feel easier to thank other people and very strange and uncomfortable, at least for me, and maybe just a little bit odd to kind of show gratitude for ourselves. And it's sometimes hard to remind ourselves that we're trying our best to make sense of everything. And in this crazy world, obviously that isn't easy. So I hope this can kind of serve as a reminder to say thank you to someone in your world,

the people in your life, but also yourself. Why do I bring this up? Because that self-care can sometimes be very daunting to work for. But one thing you can do to help yourself help yourself would be therapy. Now obviously I say this a lot, I'm going to say it again, I am for healthy minds, healthier minds, anything you can do to have a healthier mind especially in these trying times, you should go for it. And if you're thinking of starting therapy, maybe give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule.

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Choose iHerb because wellness matters. I did not use the break to calculate the damage, but I don't think the damage is important. What's important is you will now go straight to dying three. Now! If you wanted to know the damage. It is four plus two six, 12 points of piercing plus crossbow precision, which is another one D8.

I don't even know if that counts. I don't want to know. Did anybody say they wanted to know? That was max damage on that. How many hit points did you have? Oh, um. Two, um. Yeah. Two, temporary.

Dying one. High points. Dying two. Dying three. So many conditions you guys, it's like I'm collecting them all. You have a double stack. You have a double stack of conditions.

I'm gonna catch them all. I think I'm winning the game. Look at how many squares I have. Colorful things going on. You're also pooping out hearts. Yeah. No, no, Zs. Poop hearts.

She's sleeping. You should see my screen right now. It's just like so gray. Yeah. It's so gray. And spirally. We played our first board game with Mira over the weekend, and which was chaos.

But at one point, like her first, okay, spin the spinner. And she spun the spinner. She goes, I'm good at this game. Aw. So cute. Oh my gosh. She runs to the south, reloads, as she does, and will take one more shot.

I could hit Hubert, I could hit Asta, I could hit Sakawachi, I got a clean shot on Brother Ramius, I could even hit poor Bugles, who is prone. Hubert is the one that killed her minion Hmm. Yeah, it's very true It's true Matthew Capitacaza Kind of want to leave it up to chance here. Um, I Don't think it's a kill shot by any means Buggles is wounded one Ramias is wounded too could be a kill shot

Yes. Oh, yeah Asta wounded one. Sakawatchi looking pretty good. I mean, Sakawatchi also looks from the art, like a very healthy athletic fellow. It just doesn't look like some old twisted scientist. You want me to be a son of a bitch? No. Sure.

I'd like you to be a super generous dude. All right. Here are the options. I'm going to leave it up to the table and it'll be, it's a vote. Oh no. I can include Hubert and Sakawatchi in the options of people to hit if I also include Zephyr. Or I can not include Sakawatchi and Hubert and have Asta, Ranius, and Bugles.

What if I say, just shoot me? Listen, it'll make sense though, because she did kick her guy into her, so it could make her extra pissed. I kinda like the idea of it being a six-sided die. Just see what the fates bring. Because realistically, in game, she could shoot at anybody. She could do a coup de grace.

Like, we have no control over that. We keep coming up again. So like. If that's true to her character, Troy, if that's her motivation and justification and you're making that acting choice, I'll leave it up to you. What would Blue Lady do?

What would Blue Lady do? What would Blue Lady do? I already forgot her name. Yeah, it was something really cool. She's feeling. It was a very good name. She's feeling strong. She only told Zephyr and Zephyr

before having come. Not a kiss. I mean, I'm sick to my stomach, but I haven't brought this idea up. It's fun. Wait, what number is everyone? What are you doing? What did you guys decide? You're a real twisty freak.

We didn't. Okay. Just Osteramius and Bugles? Krayton Ramius would kill him. Or roll the dice. I said do a stick, I mean if you're leaving it up to us, that's my opinion, but what do you think? It does seem stupid that you would shoot this off her.

That would just be like. It does seem stupid. Like she's just really. Pissed as ever. Fuck you. We'll take it. We'll take it. You like a take it?

Yeah, leave those two out of it and we'll take it. It's got the map. Alright, what do you say? What say you, sir? I have a counter two out of it and we'll take it. It's a it's got the map. All right, what do you say? What say you, sir? I have a counter off. You're not even here. It's not the room that's voting, it's the table. It's not like our characters are standing around, it's just like, oh man. Give us five minutes.

It's a d6 if you include Zephyr and Zephyr, Sakawatche, and Hubert, right? So if you take... I mean, I agree. Throw a d8. No arrow, it's bonds. I mean, I guess. I guess I am. What's your counter? My counter is just rather than Zephyr put one of us in twice.

So there's a higher chance of hitting that one person. Oh, interesting. Who would that be? Whoever wants to volunteer. Brother Ramius. You would volunteer? Buggles. I can't kill the enemies. But a crit.

A crit on you kills you. And you could say that could kill the whole party, except they can actually do damage. So if they're dead and I'm the only one up, I'm definitely dead. But if I'm dead and I'm the only one up, I'm definitely dead. But if I'm dead and they're up, there's a chance. I don't know. That's up to you.

I won't make that choice for you. If we do that, it's a one in three chance of hitting Brother Ramius. Yeah, I really don't know. I'm trying to get into the mind of this character. I'll tell you, I'm lifting the screen here. Even though she's by herself now, she feels confident that she could win this character. I'll tell you, I'm lifting the screen here. She, even though she's by herself now, she feels confident that she could win this fight.

So do we. Sure, but also, here's the thing about including Zephyr. She's given up too much now. There's a chance I could die. Zephyr will die if she's rolled. Oh yeah. Permanently. Yeah. I think you gotta decide, Troy. I don't think we can make that can make it now I'm putting it on you guys I'm okay with whatever I mean if you want I'm okay with whatever

yeah if you want to include officer you want to choose I don't she would do that well I'm glad we talked about it it's good that we have this chance good we have this you make this awfully difficult decision. I love these little talks. This gave me time to think. Takawachi it is. Okay. Takawachi six times. All three at it. In no order. A Charizard too.

She's shooting at Asta. Okay. Come on. We read crossbow precision the first time the archer hits with a crossbow attacking around. Alright, so you won't be subject to crossbow precision the first time the archer hits with a crossbow attacking a rock. Alright so you won't be subject to crossbow precision if I hit. Zephyr got that so there won't be an extra 1d8.

But it still could be a crit. Where is the natural 1? You have them in there. Going back to this die. They're there. Yeah. You've got so many. You're due dude.

You're so due. If I take you down. You're due, dude. You're so due. If I take you down. You're due, dude. I think I got this. You're not gonna take me down. You're due, dude. Right down Main Street. No.

Right down. That's always a hit for Troy. That's like a cramp. Main Street. Troy, it's not down Main Street unless it's high teens. But it's in the 20 Street unless it's high teens. But it's in the 20s. With a map, right?

Yes. Yes. Hey, no. Miss. Yes! That is down Main Street. Don't you come for me. Miss. I saw you for me and I was like, absolutely not.

Get out of here with that trash. get out of here with that trash. Get out of here with that. That trash. Awesome. We already won. Yep. Pop the champagne. We're done, baby.

CJ, pop the champagne. No, here we go. Come on, Asta. Asta, you kill her. Meanwhile, out on Skywalk. Oh my god. This traitor. Barnes.

The turd goat. This traitor. Barnes. Yeah. The turd goes. The turd goes. Let's see what Benedict Arnold's up to. Barnes, you are up. Hold on, I'm sorry. You just got it like, we cut back and Barnes just leans over to the hobgoblin

and is like, do you think they bought it? Yeah. Yeah. Remember that she has not reloaded her crossbow. Don't let me get away with that. Right, right, right. Okay. Thank you.

I did forget that. I'm just going on memory, so. No longer fascinated. You're no longer fascinated. It. Oh, because it attacked you. It attacked me. Okay.

Fascinating. Okay. Barnes is going to glint the mirror. Okay. Another Barnes will appear in melee. Nice. Sha-ka-ka-ka-ku. Sha! Nice. Sha ga ga ga ga. Sha!

Kuh! Okay. First action? First action. Yeah. Second action. Stab with the short sword. Come on.

AC 19. It's just so cruel. It's an 18. It's an 18. It's an 18! If only you had blessed. It's just so cruel. How did you get Napoleon? Maybe you should have turned on him.

Napoleon. Napoleon. Yeah, Napoleon. This is your one hope. The classic traitor of history. The fucking traitor. I mean, why? Okay. Oh, I know why. why didn't you move up to him flicker behind him and off guard him

That's three action because if I had hit him I could keep that could run to help you Yeah, you got one more test. This is that I mean it's a prime example. Wow Yeah, what's your what's your attack bonus hearing if you were to take a second attack plus five? I saw you're a 14 or higher. What's the words that? It's doable those number of those numbers appear on my dice Me to roll it I just rolled natural one. We're having the other thing I could do Over there

He's talking to you. It's your turn. Wait, dude. Yeah, I'm gonna do it. I gotta, I gotta. 14 or higher. Because if the other option is I can just run and start and go join you guys.

But he has a bow, so he can, I'll just be shooting. Well, here's the third option. You shoot in the back, yeah. Kate rolled a natural 20 when she rerolled. Anything's possible. Anything's possible. Kate did it. It's your turn. Yeah possible. Tira time. Tira time.

Yeah. So here we go. That is a natural 15. Oh! Dude! Come on. Stab. Max Demagio.

Terrible damage. 13 points of damage. And that's 60 points left. Yeah! Bad damage! Yeah, bad damage. 13 points of damage. Damn! That's bad damage. That was good. Turn down the look! On 2d6 I rolled 1 and 2. Is the other barn still there? Yeah. Okay. Hell of a turn for Ulthiomachus!

Oh my god. One enemy left. Eomachus. There have been times. This is it. When the battle has swung the other way and you start to feel confident and characters have still died.

Place mine. Observatory. Asta. Kitsune form. Ha ha ha ha, Asta! Crossbow bolt just flew by your fur! Oh my gosh! Yeah, she cut more of my hair off.

I'm pissed. Hubert's right there just shaking. Yeah, I'm so proud of Hubert. Bloody little quills and all. And she'll tell him later, but there's no time. And she is like foaming at the mouth. She is like feeling crazy. And she will sprint up to...

Yes? What's her name? North Kesa. North something. North, I think I wrote it. North Kesa. North Kesa. North Kesa, the Destroyer.

And now you're just adding on flavor. That's third of her name. Sorry, I have an idea. What? What if you delay and let Hubert provide you flank? Oh, that's a good idea. That's a great idea. Would Hubert do that?

Would he? All Hubert has to do is move up and attack. Do when he's paying back. And then you can. Would he? He's pretty scared. But would he do that? If I delay, if I say, free action talking, delay and say,

Hubert, that was amazing. get behind her and I'll take her out I promise do it for me Hubert let me see if I have the movement I do double move to avoid the a OO and come around to any of the back three squares don't care which one all right he comes he comes around. I like this. You like it? I like this. I'm so proud. Another tear, but a proud one. He's just standing there and just peeing. Oh.

Sorry. Oh my God, he's so scared. Asa feels so bad. She loves him. A growing puddle around his feet. She loves him. Stop lying to yourself. She feels bad for him.

Those are two very different things. Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. She loves him! Stop lying to yourself. She feels bad for him.

Those are two very different things. Yeah. I hope you don't complete those and you realize it. We just got a glimpse into Sydney's mind there. A little glimpse into how this happens. This is love! It's like, God, I'm feeling... Seeing like a bird that hit your window and you're like, I love listen. This is love. It's like, God, I'm feeling. Seeing like a bird that hit your window

and you're like, I love it. It's so bad. That's how Marty's mom fell in love with him and back to the future. Oh God. All right, she's off guard. Yep, so she's gonna run up. Wait, wait, wait.

Hubert, did he miss? He didn't attack. He peed himself. I'm saying he took three actions to like scurry all the way. Got it, okay. It's worth it. Okay, I'm gonna spell strike. I'll give you a little. I'm saying he took three actions to like scurry all the way around. Got it, okay. It's worth it. Okay, I'm gonna spell strike.

I'll give you a little, I'm not giving you a lot. I'm gonna spell strike. You are. I'm gonna do my gouging claw. Yes! Done that in a minute? Hit once. Okay, all right.

Yeah, just hit once, let's go. Two-handed katana, screaming, foaming at the mouth, bleeding. 25. Oh! Hit! Oh yes! Yes! Two-handed katana screaming foaming at the mouth bleeding 25 Yes, I needed that so badly okay D 10 shaking shaking That's gonna be eight points of damage and then gouging claw is I forget cuz I haven't casted so long I'm sorry. Just just real quick because I don't think it's gonna matter but Did you count bless in that?

There's a beach. No 20 chance. Is she flat 16 at flat-footed? No, okay. Yes, thank you so but wanted to check Yeah, keep him blessed in mind. All especially will be with the map if you decide to attack it eight points of Additional piercing from gouging claw and you take three persistent bleed. So 16 total damage and three persistent bleed. Okay. You guys are looking at me like, are you dead? No.

Three. This is so incredibly dangerous. That's my three actions, my move and then the spell strike. I can't do anything else. Man. We go to round seven. Raider one is dead. It's Brother Ramius' turn.

Brother Ramius with clean line of sight. Hasn't hit the broadside of a barn since episode 48. So Brother Ramius is gonna stabilize Zephyr for the round and will cast shield. Stabilizes Zephyr. Reaches out, just trying to keep everybody alive. So he's going to stabilize Zephyr and cast shield on himself. So Zephyr will lose the dying condition but go to wounded 2. Wounded 2, unconscious but stable.

Unbelievable. Wow. Saka-wachi's turn. Saka-wachi. Oh, wasn't Saka-y is going to use his fortune telling lore to help you hit. Oh, yes. Yeah. Right. Well, he'll do it this time.

You hit anyways. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 27 have been a critical hit? Yeah. What about 28 if you had critical? Would a 28 be a critical hit? Would a 29 be a critical hit? Why didn't you just tell me?

What is he raising? He'll use Fortune Telling Lore to aid you. Should have come back around to you. If you're alive. Thanks for being honest. Might not even be the best choice here, but he's taking a shine to you. And then we'll continue to extend the Bless, not that it really matters. I'll fix that in a second.

His Buggles turn still prone, still drained, wounded, but filled with the power of the Kulukan. Kulukan knows that its time is limited and that it's going to be forced into receding into Buggles brain in a moment so it's going to unleash with another frostbite. Okay. A fiery frostbite this time. Ooh! So please give me a fortitude save.

Okay, no formation bone, straight up fort. Natural two, ooh. That is gonna be a 12. Ooh, yes, yes. Okay, damn. Fail. That's great. That's good to fail on the Comfala. 15 points of fire damage.

Yes. Okay. And then with this last action before he disappears. Synthetic music. Psyblast. Yes. Scyblast. Yes. Scyblast. Any, because I don't roll to hit or is that?

Another Fortitude save. Another Fortitude save. 19. That's a success. Two more points of damage. Still up. Ho ho ho ho ho. Boggles!

You done good. You done good. You done good. You done good. Great. How's she looking? Is she looking worse? She's looking near death. She's just like, burnt.

Trying to motivate them. Her skin is burnt. Lying. Uh, she's got some, uh... Did you hit her with arrows? I think you did, right? Um, I don't know if I ever hit her with arrows. Has it all been mined?

Physical damage? Oh, you hit. He sliced her, yeah. So she's bleeding, she's burnt. She looks. She's been gouged. She's been gouged, she looks pretty worse for the wear. In fact, one of her wounds is currently bleeding. Yes.

Would be Zephyr's turn. Zephyr's unconscious but stable. And now it's Blue Lady's turn. First action, oh, excuse me. North Kesa. Ah. She didn't reload her crossbow. No, no, I know. Now she doesn't feel as confident.

She looks over at Buggles. Maybe she has the perception to notice that the strength has faded from his goblin eyes. faded from his goblin eyes, looks back, and assumes that her one remaining companion is still fighting that handsome trench-coated man, sees this Erutaki man standing there. Unable to talk to him. Erutaki. Yeah, it's like his culture. Yeah, it's culture. I have to talk to you. It's like. This is culture? Yeah, it's culture. Sees that he isn't really doing a whole lot

and Brother Ramious. But I need to create an opening here. First action, swap into the short sword. Second action, strike you, Asta, with the short sword. Saw that coming. Five. Five. 17. Miss! Holy shit, dude!

Asta is just pissed now. It's coming back now. Yeah. It's coming back. She's in the die roll. Die rolls are turning around. Yes. And she looks rabid. She is fighting a rabid fox woman. She doesn't know what your A.O.O. situation is

and I never remember. So I'm torn here between taking another swing with the map. We're trying to run away. We're running away. Yeah, for sure. Oh, I was, yeah. You're gonna run. I was planning on-

I wanted to hit you, have you go down and then just fucking leave the hedgehog and see if anyone gave chase. She's gonna run. Right into Barnes. Oh! She's going to attempt to run. Does that, do you have an AOL?

I wish, maybe at level four. Again, I got a lot going on, I can't even think who's got AOLs. So she's got one action left. Oh my God. With her sword, she just runs up to the door. That's as far as she gets. Oh shit.

Oh ho ho ho ho ho ho. She's just, oh, and then she takes three points of persistent bleeding. Oh yeah. Oh right. Let's see if that happens automatically. It does. And I'll roll a recovery check. Fails the recovery check. Nice.

Okay. So she's just like, she's like, pulling her sides. There's a trail of blood. Run check. Fails the recovery. Nice. OK. Yeah, she can bleed to death. She's just like holding her sides. There's a trail of blood. She's bleeding out. And she's like, calm down. Calm down. She's calling for her other warrior.

Little does she know he's dead. But he's dead. Doesn't hear a response. Letting her go, I think, is just as bad. Oh, yeah. What? So let's see. It's Barnes' turn. We can't. We can't let her go, I think, is just as bad. Oh yeah. What? So let's see, it's Barnes' turn.

Oh no, we can't. We can't, we can't let her go. Barnes, let's go back to the old streets somewhere in Skywatch. Where the streets have no name. There's two Barnes and a dead hobgoblin. And the Barnes, that's dead standing, I can now see her, right?

Emerge, starting to run from the building. Yeah, that Barnes there. Well, with your dark version, yeah, maybe you see a figure. I don't know if you know if it's her or not. I heard her shout. Yeah, you didn't hear it. I heard her, yeah. Come, Quat! I don't know.

Come, Quat! I think I said, come not. Come not. Come not! Come not is dead. Who said that? I did. A barn is gonna charge for her.

How far away am I? All right, so let's see how far you are. I mean, this is as accurate as accurate can be. Where are you from the end of the map? You are 60 feet in a straight line from her. You're 60 feet away from being right next to her. Oh. So crushing.

Hmm. Can you move double move and ranged? Uh, I could swap. Single move, single move. But the range on the shock, no, I threw the shock him, I don't have it. It's dark too, she'd have concealment. I will pick up the short bow.

Oh. The guy I just killed. The Raider's short bow? Yes. It is a family heirloom. But then, it doesn't have arrows. If you pick it up. I'm a quiver, I guess, but yeah, that makes sense. You have to do other actions for up, If you pick it up with the barns that's near him,

doesn't that become the barns that you have to control? Yeah. Well here's the thing. It's a little bit meta. Well no, I mean your instinct was to run up to her. Yeah. If you just run up to her, you will provide flanking for Asta. That's true.

Even if you can't attack this round. She may kill you next round, but like, we'll get a better shot if you for Asta. Yep, that's true. That's what I'll do. Even if you can't attack this round. She may kill you next round, but like, we'll get a better shot if you're up there. Yep. You're gonna triple move? Yeah. Alright, let's go back to the observatory. Oh, put-

And let's put you right there. Barnes on the observatory, yeah! You know, I thought- Oh. I don't know if it was last episode, but I thought I was like, I can see- the one way out I can see is like, a sweaty, blood-soaked Barnes has to come through that door at some point and finish it off. Yeah, that was the image that I saw. He just runs, the other one disappears and he just starts sprinting right after and with his short sword in hand and he just, you know, he kind of slides to a halt right in front of her and that's the end of the round.

It's Hubert Hedge's turn and he looks at Barnes coming in he looks at Asta And he now realizes what he needs to do soaking wet covered in blood he moves into flanking the yards Backwards charge right over the he's never said oh wait no wait right over the body of this creature But you're just taking that space from Asta is awesome that space no I mean you're also needs to go into that space to attack no I can wait But he could you know what he could move and attack and then shift us. Oh, yeah, he's not supposed to be helping us though like he's already kind of Hubert yeah, I could attack from the other spaces you were it's gonna move into flanking. That's all he's gonna do

But that that's kills our plan. I can share the space with you, but that's all right. That's what he's small isn't it? No, well actually no, but you okay. Okay. He's not he's small. He's small, isn't he? No. Well actually, no, but you can't. I can't? He's tiny. He's technically tiny. Then he would have to be in her space. I can share his space. It's a reach of zero.

I mean to hit her. But yeah, she should be. Neither here nor there, so you can go on to Hubert's space. Okay. Oh wow, amazing. Let me just make sure. My best friend. I might just be making that.

Tiny creatures can occupy the same space. GM can determine that even more than four can fit. Tiny creatures can share a space occupied by a larger creature as well. If a tiny creature reaches zero, it must share a space with a creature in order to attack it. I'm going to rule that Hubert has five feet of reach, even though he's tiny. But you can share Hubert's space. Should you so decide, it's Asta's turn. I so decide. Okay.

Okay, with your buddy Hubert! He doesn't know any better, he thinks he's helping! I know, he's so helpful. Oh, you're a bunch of- Do not do it, do not do it, Roy! Asta's seen, like, it's all happening all happening like basically at the same time, you know? Like she runs, the blue lady runs, Asta runs, and as Asta's running, she sees Barnes,

and she's elated, she's like, he's alive! And she's so happy, and she's like smiling as she is just swinging with her katana into this woman. Well, Acrobatics check to not slip on Hubert's trail of pee You see 40 stop There's so much Blood to mess that is comes out like because he goes both out the same hole Strike right I can't spell strike I could I

could recharge it you my My movement thing, but I actually don't think I can because I don do my movement thing, but I actually don't think I can because I don't think I have any focus left. We haven't had time to recharge any of my shit. Okay, I am going to just hit. Don't let her get away. Yeah, just hit.

Yeah, I'm just gonna hit. Don't let her get away. I'm gonna hit Awesome Style. 19? Miss. Off guard? Miss. Man, so it's over a 21 AC.

Wait, am I in Bless? He expanded Bless. So I'm in Bless, so 20. Still a Bless. Oh, 23 plus AC, that's... All right, I'm gonna just try again. Fuck, man. That's like 90 15s and up.

There's nothing else I can do. I'm gonna try again. That's poopy. Damn. That's poopy for me. Well, yeah, I have to flank. No. Nope. Okay's poopy for me. We have to flank. Nope. Okay. Softly close.

Damn it. Oh wait, wait, wait. Sorry, sorry, sorry. I'm in bless. He was aiding me. It would be 21. Oh wait, he has to try to age. But if that makes a difference now.

21 would hit. So let's find out. Let's see if the age succeeds. Sorry, I just remembered. So Sakawachi with with fortune tellers lore rolls a 31 you're gonna plus two to hit Sakawatchi like can see the future can see you hitting it oh okay thank you all thank you, Sockwadgie. All right, here we go. So that's gonna be, damn, low, damn, not good, damn. Eight points of damage.

Eight hit points left. Oh my God! What? Yes! Just absolutely unbelievable. I'm just sweating! Boom! Oh god!

And she crumbles to the ground. Wow. Blood everywhere. This moment that we're feeling right here is the feeling and sound in the room. Everyone just breathe. Oh fuck. I... Sorry I stepped away there for a minute.

It was a tactical blunder. Is anyone else outside? No, I think that's everyone, but we should bar the door. There are others, but we should be okay for a moment. I would suggest not running out there again. There are others, but we should be okay for a moment. I would suggest not running out there again anytime soon. I wish you'd told me that earlier. Being very explicit now. I tried to-

Come inside, she pulls Barnes in. She pulls the body of the woman in. She tries to bar the doors. There are barricades, whatever we can do. Raiders are the least of our problems. There's other things going on here. And as you're barring the doors and you look out there, Buggles, you see the canal that Barnes jumped into,

but it's not where it was before. It's now like slightly to the west as you're closing the doors and barring it. It's like, I can't believe you even made it back. It's easy to get lost out there. I lost my companions. Did I get your names? No.

And we'll see you next time. Nice. I did after because I was like, I think that's a great spot to end. That's awesome. We did it. I told you. Sorry, K.

Hard lie. We win! Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. I'm going to go drink a thousand beers. Nooners! Nooners! Nooners!

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