The Glass Cannon Podcast - Gatewalkers Episode 62 – Meow Mix

Episode Date: December 6, 2024

Following leads from the Smiling Wolves about the whereabouts of Sakuachi's companions, the heroes attempt to navigate the strange Skywatch streets in search of them. Watch the video here: https://youtu.be/hEV7qGexGKQ This episode was sponsored by Foundry VTT and Norse Foundry. See why tabletop gamers everywhere have made the switch to Foundry Virtual Tabletop at https://foundryvtt.com/gcp For all your random number-generating needs, visit Norse Foundry at https://norsefoundry.com Visit https://hensonshaving.com/GCN to pick the razor for you, and use code "GCN" to get a free shave cream with your razor—just make sure to add it to your cart. The Glass Cannon Podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/GCN to get 10% off your first month. Visit https://auraframes.com and get $35 off Aura's best-selling Carver Mat frames by using code "GCN" at checkout. Access exclusive podcasts, ad-free episodes, and livestreams with a 30-day free trial with code "GCN30" at jointhenaish.com. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. Watch new episodes when they premiere every Thursday at 8PM ET on youtube.com/theglasscannon. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You are listening to the Glass Cannon Network, the premier source for role-playing game entertainment. Last week on the Glass Cannon Podcast. But the wolf call starts to die down. A tall, hulking, yet lean figure starts to walk forward. Greetings. I am, uh, Matz Ballandine. What brings you to Skywatch? Are you familiar with Ayudhara at all?

The ancient Elven gates? Elf gates, yes. Two of our people walked through and never returned. Perhaps we can help each other then. Sakawachi and Enuma come over. We spoke to Matz. I get the sense that he knows about our friends. I need to find them and I would really appreciate your help.

Onuma's like, I don't know how much Sakawatche has told you, but he is very important to my people. Sakawatche is like, my grandmother had befriended a Nihmuron long ago. And for years, she'd listened to his dire warnings of a great evil that lurked somewhere beneath the crown of the world. I think the evil you talk about is the same we learned about on Casterville.

Perhaps we are chosen to fight against it. Greetings, Matz. Thank you for your hospitality. These raiders have been a real pain in the ass. If you're able to take care of them, I will fill your raft with as much treasure as you can fit. Doors open, raft, treasure, find your three friends, help us out.

We help you get out of here. What do you say? The adventure continues... now. In the There's a marshmallow in the winter folks. If you get lost in Brooklyn, I hope you don't end up at Sydney's doorstep or she might cut off your balls. And put an air tag on your collar. And then watch you with her friends.

Like look, look where he is now. As you yander the streets of New York. He doesn't even know. It's to help you. I'm going to cut his balls. Wander around ball-less. She'll just be watching. To be fair, you are doing the right thing. Thank you, Matthew.

A stray cat has wandered into Sydney's yard, and she's been feeding it, which you're not supposed to do. And now she's going to, she put an air tag on it. She put an air tag on it. So she's been feeding it, which you're not supposed to do. And now she's going to, she put an air tag on it. She put an air tag on it. So she's surveilling it. And it's- Wait, did it give consent? I don't think it did.

To be surveilled? You guys don't understand, it's the cat distribution system. Has chosen Sydney. And she's going to reward it by bringing it to a vet to have its balls chopped off. Here's the truth. Yes, you're not supposed to feed stray cats, because yes, they come back then.

At first we thought this was our neighbor's cat that had gotten out. It's the same exact coloring as their cat. So you would feed a neighbor's cat even if it was on a strict diet that you didn't know about? Well, we thought, oh shit, we can't bring it inside because we have three cats and it's dangerous if you don't know what they have and blah blah blah. Yeah. So I was like, let's give it some food, keep it close to us and when the neighbors get home, we'll ask them. So we asked them and they were like, no? We were like, oh, damn it, fuck.

We've been feeding this cat, like we fed this cat all day and now it keeps coming back. It's a young cat, it's so friendly, it's so cute. I don't think it's a feral stray. I think somebody dumped this cat. So I put up found cat posters, you know, I said call, text, blah, blah, blah. No hits.

You just put your phone number all over the streets of Brooklyn? Yeah, and my face too, so they know what I look like. Wow. And my address. These are like two thumbs up. Sydney Emanuel of the Glass Cannon Network. Yeah, I put your website on it.

Got balls? Got balls? Not for long. Not for long. Call Sydney. But now, now it's the tough thing, especially with CityCats, where like the best thing you can do is to trap it, bring it to ASPCA or Tara and get them spayed or neutered and then re-release them or get them adopted.

Instead, you're going to pay cash out of your pocket to have it neutered yourself. This is major surgery. And vaccine. Nah, neutered. This is hundreds of dollars. Neuter is not that bad.ers not that you spend hundreds of dollars on a stray cat measure this say a homeless person showed up at your door would you even would you even give them a scrap of bread would you even give them a scrap of bread before you castrated before you castrated them and got them their measles shot should circumcise them at

least yeah there you go it's the best thing. A free thing, yeah, I'll just pay for their circumcision. Can't recommend it enough. The best thing, that's what they recommend. Here's my thing, only if you need to be neutered can I help you out. Any other thing, not really. No, hundreds of dollars. I'll pay for your neuter.

But this is the right thing though, because you don't wanna take them to a shelter, you want the feral cat colony to just move on, disperse, dwindle, and become. Hopefully, I'll get this cat adopted. I don't think this is an outdoor cat, and I don't think it's going to do well in the winter. So hopefully, I can get it neutered.

It'll get its vaccines, and then we can find somebody to adopt it. I grew up with a lot of animals. We did a lot of trapping and neutered in spay and re-releasing. What's your problem, Joe? You hate animals? I'm just scared of the whole thing.

It's very strange. Like, what are you scared of? That you just like take cats off the street, cut their balls off, and then just be like, I hope somebody takes us by the winter. It's like the Hunger Games. This cat's not gonna do well. Womp!

Like, I know, it's very scary to hear. It's not Massachusetts Bay Colony. There's like a little more to it than that. Like, you're acting like. Well, also like, if the cat's not getting adopted, it'll have an outdoor cat house that's heated. I'm like making it right now. And it's just.

Wow. All right, so now we're into the thousands of dollars. You're making an outdoor heated cat house. I care about animals. I got three cats and if I could take another one, I would, but like I can't, cause Xavier said he would divorce me. But he's fine with the outdoor cat heat house. Yeah.

And the hundreds of dollars in medical bills. I'm paying for that. You opened the episode singing a Christmas song. It's true. It is the spirit of Christmas. And I even said, a Christmas, anybody need a cat, a Christmas miracle, an adoption around Christmas time. She's being the most Christmas of us all at this table. How do you find time to do that between all your visits

to the soup kitchen? I'm just, it's so hard to be me with all the good I do. Save one cat you want to fucking melt. If this is one good thing I can do, I'll do it. Yeah. This is the cat's name. Stinky. Stinky.

No thanks. You treated him with a lot of respect. Yeah, really nice. Page ball stinky. Sometimes see, no thanks. You treated him with a lot of respect. Yeah, really nice. Page ball stinky. Sometimes she calls me stinky. God, someone adopt this odorous cat. It's odorous, ball-ous cat. You've called my daughter stinky many, many times.

Everything I love I call stinky. So. I am now imagining this. Weird, I've never called Troy stinky. It really says something about our relationship. I am now thinking about this cat as the protagonist family from The Witch.

Now that's good, said this, and they're going to venture out into the wilderness. I think that's what Joe's picturing. Yeah. Waker society, I throw this cat out to the wilderness. I just find it fascinating what people without children have time to do. I can't shit by myself.

And you're building a heated cat house for a strain. Taking it to the vet. All right, so hold on a second. I didn't renew my license for three months. You got time to take a stray cat to the vet. We do whatever we want and we decide in that moment. Yep, and I spontaneously, I just email, I said, do you have any appointments

for neuter for a stray cat in Queens? My schedule's wide open. Crazy. Let me ask about this world that you live in. This fantasy world. This fantasy world you live in. This fantasy world you live in. So when you say like, I'm going to get it adopted, what would you put it like if I was

a betting man, which I am? What odds would you put on getting rid of this cat? Like what percentage chance, is it like 90% somebody's going to adopt this cat or is it like it's 10% like it's pretty rare to get rid of these cats quickly? No, I think it's like 60-40 that I would find someone personally to adopt it. But I think there's plenty of places in New York City that offer help with adoption services that are no-kill shelters. Eventually, I'll find-

So why don't you just take it there now? Because I'd like to find somebody I trust. Okay. You don't trust those New York City no-kill shelters to give them to good people? I trust that the cat will be fine in the shelter, but who knows how long. Are you worried like an Amish person may adopt it just to indoctrinate it into its religion? I think the Amish would take very good care of a cat. Because that's what the Amish do.

They kidnap cats? That's why the strays don't go anywhere near the Amish. They adopt, don't worry, they'll never watch this. Lancaster County, there's like no this. They'll never watch this. They adopt children, and then they're like used to detention service. So it's not just a feline thing. No, that was the joke.

Oh. Because why would you be worried? A stranger wouldn't take care of it. Nobody goes to a shelter and be like, can't wait to adopt a cat that I can beat the shit out of. I don't know. Now I am thinking that, but now I am thinking about that. More so, I think it's the but now I am thinking about that.

More so, I think it's the realistic thing. Like cats are, they're everywhere. Like cats are overrun, shelters are overrun, and this is not a cute kitten. You know, this is like a one, two-year-old cat, probably. So it's an ugly, smelly cat. It's so cute. With no testicles. But it'll be in its little metal cage for who knows how long before somebody picks it

as like the one. But that's where it will go if you don't find somebody like by winter, which is winter is coming. Here's what I'm thinking though. That is still better than it being hit by a car on Myrtle Avenue because that's the other outcome that will definitely happen. Well, I hope somebody gets this cat. Can you give it to somebody in the niche? You're going to have 15 emails tomorrow. Yeah. Why don't we put up a poll right now? Who wants the cat? The poll comes on the screen. Who wants the cat?

Sydney will drive it to your house as long as you live what? Less than 500 miles away? I don't have a car. What's your plan? What's the plan for this poor cat? If you live away to I. Maybe instead of building a cat in a hot tub, you could get a car. Right. What's going on with your life? You're spending all this money on ball chopping and vaccines. Just grabbing cats off the street, getting them neutered. Like, how about you get a car? The image of me with like a big net

and I'm just like scooping up cats off of the street in New York City. Let's say someone lives within the five boroughs. Would you subway the cat to them? Yeah, I'd Uber that. I mean, yeah. Hey, if you're in New York, if you're in Jersey, if you're even in the Philly area,

and you want a beautiful, beautiful cat, let me know. How are you getting the cat to Philly? If you haven't been to Philly area. Well, we're going there in December. We're in Gen Con. Great. Oh, you'll bring it to the show? You'll bring it to the show.

Give it away at the show. I pull it off at the show. I'll do like they do at the cat shows, where they like make it really long, and they hold it. And they're like, look how beautiful this cat is. Look at the balls, guys. No balls. I tried to adopt a cat from Philly like four years ago.

What? Yeah. All the way from Philly? Yeah, because there was a thing, there was an article about it on Deadspin. It was like, this is the biggest cat we've ever seen. It was like an 80 pound cat. Whoa.

And I was just like, I want that cat. I want that like gigantic cat that's going to like scare people when they see it. What the fuck is that? It's a leopard. That's enormous. Yeah, but it's something that got snapped up. I'm gonna name it Bill.

Were you exaggerating? Because my dog is like 65 pounds. It was seriously like, it had to be at least like 60 pounds. Like it was an enormous, enormous, it was way bigger than like a domesticated cat should be. Was it also fat, like overweight? It wasn't like super fat either. It was just like gigantic.

It was just huge. I was reading it. Oh my God, it's enormous. You found it. Oh wait, I'm gonna look it up. Oh my God. Look at the cat. Billy's Animal Shelter's massive cat

who took internet by storm. Look at the size of that fucking cat. Tell me I'm wrong. It's a huge cat. August 29. It's like, it's about the size of took internet by storm. Look at the size of that fucking cat. Tell me I'm wrong. It's a huge cat. August 29, 2019. It's about the size of Mira. Honestly, it is the size of Mira. That's exactly how much she weighs right now. 20? See?

It was like a 30 pound cat. 30 pound. Oh my god. The headline of this is, I had to go see the 28 pound chonky cat for myself. Yeah, that was the article that I read. I was just like, I'm gonna adopt that cat. But I was too late. Did you inquire? I article that I read. I was just like, I'm gonna adopt that cat. But I was like, I was too late. Did you inquire?

I did, I did. Big boy Mr. B is a chonk. Yep. Wow. I was so excited. I love the titles to all of these. This 26 pound adoptable chonk sure looks like a bobcat. Like.

It does look like a bobcat. Chonk, adoptable chonk. Wow, good for that cat getting adopted. Yeah, good for that cat. Well, can we get an update in a little while if the cat gets adopted? Yeah. And if the cat doesn't get adopted,

just in a little while, just tell us it did. Yeah. It gets it by a car. Just don't say anything more on the podcast. Just overfeed it until it grows to three times its size. And then I'll get it. Then it'll get adopted by the way. You need to be at least 26 pounds

for Skindy to consider it. You can stuff it. I don't want a normal size cat. I need to make this cat an Instagram for it to be adopted and get it to 30 pounds. You got time. Yeah. Might as well build an Instagram following

for this cat that you're gonna give away. Have a lot of time. I think somebody in the nation's already starting an Instagram for Sydney's feral cat. Oh my god. Anyway, yeah, so that's it. I give this cat a week. Under your supervision.

Until it dies. Oh my god. Until it goes into the cat hot house and just hits the electric coils, burns its face off, dies. Sydney has three cats and they're extremely well cared for. This cat is roaming the streets of Brooklyn right now. I'm following it on the air cat. We know because we see it on the air tag.

Yeah. Her cats have serious problems and she manages to still to take care of them. That's true. My cats are all crazy. Sydney has extraordinarily good care for cats. Are air tags super cheap? Do you want to tag somebody?

Well, I'm saying, what if they stray? What if they go out? A nice little like. Air tags on street cats. Do you want to tag somebody? Well I'm saying like what if the stray would go out? What if the stray would go out? What if the stray like walked up to another apartment? Would they be like oh fuck yeah tag. I don't want to have an air tag in my luggage. You cannot escape like Philly trash and sticks. No we're just trying to get a free air tag right now.

No some idiot put a AirTag on. To me, when you say AirTag, to me it's like the same value as having AirPods attached to it. It's like, holy shit, it's like 200 bucks, dude. Go Terds. You're the reason why that fucking robot that tried to cross the US got beat up in Philly and died. That's right, they killed that robot.

I couldn't make it. The people killed that robot. I forgot about that. That was my favorite story ever. It made it across every state, got to Philly, and it was like, oh hell yeah, robot. Boom, boom, boom. Oh my god, it attempted to hitchhike across the US, ended up dismembered, stripped, and decapitated and pulled off.

It's such a great story. See you soon, Billy. By the way, yeah, we'll be live tomorrow night in Philly. We'll be back right after this quick break. Today's episode of GCP is sponsored by Henson Shaving, the company that is challenging the status quo of shaving, which I love. I have pretty much only ever known a world of multi-blade razors and subscription services. And if you also were born after 1970 and you're as young and sprightly as I am, you've probably

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it to your cart. That is a free Henson shave cream. When you head to H E N S O N S H A V I N G.com slash GCN and use code GCN. The Glass Cannon podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. What's my favorite part of the holidays? I think it's the weather. I just, I love the change in weather. I love the getting cold and they can break out your cool jackets

and it's okay to stay, be inside and watch movies with your friends or family and stuff. It's, I love that stuff. The music is okay, the tree, whatever. How do you stay cozy during the winter months? For some, wrapping up in a blanket with a mug of hot chocolate or watching a movie with family, like me, is the best way to spend the month of December. Therapy is a great way to bring yourself some comfort that never goes away, even when the season changes. Therapy is a huge boon for me, especially this time of year. I think it's just so nice.

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Visit BetterHelp.com slash GCN today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-helphelp.com slash GCN. Folks, we're back. It's the first week of December. And as always, we want to thank our amazing sponsors. They've been with us all year since the beginning of this show, the year before. Norse Foundry and of course, Foundry VTT.

Thank you. Look at this iridescent beauty, by the way, this Norse Foundry. That's Foundry VTT. Thank you Look at this iridescent beauty by the way this Norse Foundry Both of them will have booths at packs unplugged So if you're coming this weekend to packs unplugged, obviously we got a sold-out show tomorrow night at City Winery and then Booth's Foundry's I think is their first booth maybe Andrew was pretty excited about it. First booth at Pax Unplugged? Yeah. Oh.

Yeah, they got a booth at Pax Unplugged and North Foundry always has like six booths. So make sure you stop by, get some good shit and then come see us. If you see us in the forums, say hi. We'll also be there. Yeah, say hi. Give us a high five.

We're a wedgie. Don't give us a wedgie. Please, no. Don't give us a wedgie. Please, no thank you. No wedgies. I will fight. Take back the wedgies. Don't touch us a wedgie. Oh, please, no. Don't give us a wedgie. No. Please, no thank you. No wedgies. I will fight. Take back the wedgies. Don't touch us at all.

Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh.

Do not approach us. Don't look us in the eye. In fact, if you see us, just walk the other way. I'll leave that the way. We are, we are, we're back here last week. Total role playing app, much needed, much needed in the camp, trying to discern what the situation is. You find out very quickly that the Smiling Wolves camp is not a camp full of cannibals, you hope, but they are mercenaries. Jury's still out. Soldiers of Fortune, they are out for themselves.

They've come to the city of Skywatch because they heard that Skywatch, a city that had its gates closed for 20 years, a very insular society. You still don't know too much about the history of Skywatch, but you know that no one ever came in and out, but some rumors started a few months ago. Their gates were flung open, city abandoned, free for the pickings. So a bunch of groups such as these mercenaries have come to kind of pick away it's what's left of this city that was mysteriously abandoned.

But on top of that, there's some weird magic going on here, some nascent magic in the city that has left it unnavigable. You know this because when you came upon Anuma and the two members of the Smiling Wolves, they led you through a house and a street appeared that wasn't there before. You look back and the observatory was up on a hill. It wasn't on a hill where you first saw it. There's a lot of strange things going on here, but they know how to navigate by using the stars and they've recommended you do the same. Sakawachi and Enuma give descriptions to the leader of the smiling wolves, a guy by the name of Matz, of the companions of theirs that have gone missing.

He's like, oh, let me talk to my people. Let's see what we can do. You very quickly realize that if you're going to get their help at all, you're going to have to do stuff for them. They come back and they tell you, oh yeah, we know, we think we know where you're missing people are. Our people have seen your people, but we didn't approach for various reasons. They're here, here and here, maybe last time they were seen.

And we'll give you this information if you can help us. Get rid of Godrak the Quick, the leader of the obsidian oath. They've been a real pain in the ass. You know that the obsidian oath of these hobgoblin raiders that you face, and they're out for blood, not just looting. They delight in it. But the smiling wolves, they don't play that game. You know that one of the members exited the Western gates or something of the city, and

one of the members of the smiling wolves went out there scouting and never came back. Go find out what happened to them, and you'll probably find your friend as well. And then lastly, there is a marketplace somewhere in the center of town where they saw the hunter talking with other people. Seemed like they were cool. The smiling wolves that saw this were outnumbered so they decided not to pursue, but it seems like the hunter of the, the Arataki hunter made some friends. So you're going to look into that as well. If you do that, you'll get a raft. They'll open up the gates and they'll load the raft with as much treasure as the raft

can handle so you can sail up the little ice rime and out of town. You also find out from Sakawatche after Sakawatche confers with Enuma and has kind of assessed you guys to be safe that something happened. They were having a celebration in their little town of Inamanute or whatever, somewhere in the crown of the world. And they- You know what it sounds like when you described this whole thing last week? It sounded like the start of an AP.

It was like, I think that these are PCs from another AP. Sakuragi is some person's character. It's just crossed over with ours somehow. You are chosen, you must go on this journey and find the living God. It's like that moment in Shaun the Dead. Yeah, when they went into the other. Yeah. Yeah, that's exactly it.

Good reference. That does sound like there's four of them. Yeah, it's a party, you're all at a party, it's all, and then this huge light goes up into the sky, dreams, our village is gonna be destroyed if you don't go, whatever. Yep. I love how Sakawatchi's the chosen one,

but then also, yeah, he meets us and we're like, hate to break it to you, like, we also have these marks. He's like, oh, now I'm really confused. Chosen by a grandma. Yeah, chosen by the grandma and of the elders of the town to- So cold. Chosen by your grandma.

Am I wrong? Your trash grandma. Your trash grandma to go sacrifice a living God to save their people, to save their people from this ancient evil that was sealed somewhere beneath the ice. You start realizing there's a lot of overlap between your stories that perhaps people, to save their people from this ancient evil that was sealed somewhere beneath the ice. You start realizing there's a lot of overlap between your stories that perhaps the Black

Frost Whale is this great evil. He now explains further that after they saw this blue light happen, some sort of event in the middle of the North Pole, that night his grandmother had a dream where she was visited by someone by the name of Anumaran, the last of the Salman car, someone she had befriended in her youth who she hadn't seen in a long time. To the Erotakis, they see dreams as reality, not just like portents and visions. These are real communication.

Anumaran came to Seishu in a dream and explained that his magic was fading and in order to help keep this evil away, a living god needed to be sacrificed. The elders along with Seishu decided that Sakawachi would be the one to partake in this quest. Sakawachi was given three guide, a navigator, and a hunter to go with him. They were like, you know, let's stop by Skywatch. There's an observatory there. Let me consult the stars. They get caught up in this mess as well. They are heading to Sarkoris, a land that has now been sealed. The world wounds seal, the scar left behind,

and demons and gods walk amongst men. You know what's interesting too is that Revoy was founded by this sort of Genghis Khan type Eastern conqueror a couple of hundred years ago and he was also really interested in the for some reason. But that's sort of, the importance of this place has been a thing for a while. I didn't know that. Yeah, the observatory, well, the Skywatch itself is sort of shrouded in mystery. And it was like the last holdout. When the region was conquered, it was the last place that held out against this conqueror and his dragons. It was like it held out for a long time. And where did you learn this? As an intercity world guide. Intercity world guide.

Yeah. Yeah. So Skywatch, very interesting. What happened here? Why was the city locked behind doors for 20 years? And then why did it suddenly open up and was abandoned? Lot of mysteries going on here but now you realize if you want help, if you want to get out of here, if you want to help Sakawatche whose mission seems to be tied up in yours, you need to find his friends and thereby help Matz and the Smiling Wolves at the same time with their problems. You've got a few options.

There is the guard tower where it seems like Godreq the Quick, the leader of the obsidian oath is hauled up. There's the mystic market where the hunter has met some other friends perhaps and then there is leaving the city in search of the missing sailor or whatever. Yeah, I guess I'm not understanding this correctly. So the smiling wolves are in Skywatch. We are in Skywatch right now. We're in the edge of the city. Yeah. Okay. By the docks.

I thought we left the city to get to there and camp. I thought it was outside. No, you were like navigating through the streets, but everything kept turning in on itself. Yeah. Right. No, but then they found us and they said, we'll take you back to our camp. I thought that was outside of the city. Yeah, their camp is in the city. All right.

So one of them left the city. Yeah, one of them went out, one of like the Western gate. Okay. Yeah. Well, we have some services we would like to request. Yes. From the craftsmiths of the Smiling Wolves first. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

And we've done the math. Yeah, we've. Checked four times. Checked it multiple times. We have a compressed but lengthy recording day today, and we found the one thing that would knock us off schedule, which was to do a lengthy shopping. But we've got it we've got it down we figured out everything pretty quickly

yeah basically all things we need runes switched. We'd like to buy a striking rune. Buy a striking rune. Buy one striking rune and then make three swaps. Changes. Okay. And we are selling everything that we've ever found. Yeah. Anything we haven't sold already. Yeah. Okay. And you have enough money for this if they were to charge you normal prices.

Yeah. Yes. Okay. So it's almost exact. And as long as they have multiple smiths, this could take one day as opposed to one day per rune. Multiple days. Yeah. Okay. Let's assume that they have multiple Smiths, this could take one day as opposed to one day per rune. Yeah. Okay.

Let's assume that they have multiple people that can do this. Okay. It might not be the best. Okay. Are they duct taping the runes? Okay. Get this stuff back. The rune may not look as nice as it did when you first bought it.

Hey, free air tag, bro. Free air tag, bro. Oh, you guys see this cat, dude? Look, bro. Free air tag, bro. Yo, you guys see this cat, dude? Look at this. So idiot. I just want to say it's hidden. You can't see that it's an air tag.

It's like in a thing on the collar. I didn't just glue an air tag to the cat. Sorry, it was a stray cat, so it had no collar. I put a collar on it and hid the air tag in a bag that I like sealed and put on the collar. Got it. So if it goes to anybody's house, it bag that I like sealed and put on the collar. Got it. So if it goes to anybody's house, it's not going to appear to be a stray cat. It'll appear because it has a collar on it. True.

If it goes back to its original owner, it'll be like, we never put an air tag on it. I put found cats. See ya, muffin. Put posters all over. I go by stinky now. Stinky now. They look at the air tag, stinky. Oh, that's not our cat. They look at the air tag, stinky. Oh, that's not our cat.

Gosh. Now we know what happens at Troy's house. Troy never wastes one of his trains on a cat. Is your hatred of animal companions so complete that even your love of cats has been corrupted? He has a cat. You love cats. My love of cat is a question here. He likes his cats.

It's my need to make fun. Yeah. Outweighs your kindness. Outweighs my kindness. We'll say it takes a day, which means you're going to have to spend a night here. Okay. Awesome. Okay.

Do you keep a watch or do you all just go to sleep? Yeah, no, we keep a watch. Okay. I think also we can plan what we want to do. We have three options. Yeah. Talk it out. We were talking before off screen,

but I was saying, I think it makes, and Matthew and I agree, we think it makes sense to go to the leader, to Godrick. Go take out the Raiders. The Raiders, because we feel that we might run into other Raiders in other situations. One of the Raiders followed, or no, one of the dudes followed. But anyway, I just think it would make sense. Well, to take care of that.

Three people at this table think we should go to the market area first to see that other tribe. Skid, why couldn't you have been on my side? I wasn't listening to what you had said. Ah. Oh, you changed your mind now? No, no, no. I still agree. I didn't do it to disagree with you. I just did it to agree with Joe, not knowing what you wanted.

That's fair. Sometimes it's just easier to do that. Safe as. So you're leaning towards the market. I think so. Yeah, we're curious. Kate and I, at least, are curious about these other people that Hunter was talking to.

Exactly. It's like, is this another faction? Is this somebody that could give us more information about the raiders and Godrekt the Swift? Items? Yeah, are they just like, we are just overflowing with runes like here. I mean, we can't even carry them, there's so many.

You never know. We came here looking for runes, this is just too many. Too many runes. It's just, we can't carry them all back. Too many runes, too many. Too many runes. It's just we can't carry them all back. Too many runes. Too many. Too many runes. Well, while we're in the business of just throwing out possibilities, they also could be cannibals.

Man, you're really on the lookout for cannibals. I'm really- Stop trying to make cannibals happen. I feel like Barnes has his own thing going on here. Yeah. Yeah. Like, we have evidence that they're not. Who hurt you?

I thought- Multiple cats. Coming into the previous episode, I was convinced, based on the suspicious meats comment from the end of the last episode that we were definitely going to be facing some cannibals. And I just decided it was one of those things where like, GM says something offhand, thinking innocently,

and one of the players just runs with it. So I've decided to run with it even farther. Barnes is really nervous. I just think about Jared. Like, he'll just say something offhanded. Oh yeah. And then we'll just like like go and go and go and you'll kill improv and improv and improv and just be like it didn't mean it

they players always latch on to the dumbest shit that they're meaningless that other trail you talked about that other trail. I was just explaining. There's lots of trails We go up to the other trail. There's nothing there If it were a skid you haven't we'd be To go hunt down any rumors of cannibals Find cannibals. Yeah. Right. Exactly. So we would find cannibals.

Skid would let us. Maybe. Yeah. Maybe not. We'd put on another play. Put on a play about the cannibals. Find young cannibals. All right.

So you're talking. I think we're going to, yeah, we're talking about it. OK. Yeah, you want to talk? I bring up the ritual, actually. Oh. Still on that. Oh, yes. I about it. Okay. You want to talk? I bring up the ritual actually. Oh, so on that. Oh, yes. I was looking into this.

A full day. Thank you. And I found something here that I think... Could help. Well, it's not the exact same thing, but yes, a similar ritual. And sure, we could try it. Yes. Oh, that's perfect.

Good role-playing there, Jeff. I'll tell you where my desire to role-play... That's what I was going-playing there, Jeff. I'll tell you where my desire to role-play at all, at all stopped. And maybe this'll come in with a Professor Eric write-up on We Are Stupid or something of that nature. I had, you know, I was like, well, you know,

I would like to do this by the book, seeing as spells, spell knowledge, learning spells, casting spells, different traditions, all that stuff, has an absolutely massive amount of rules that are attached to it. And it's extremely complicated. I was like, all right, well, let me, let me look into this and make sure like, is this something he can even do? Does he have to have a slot for this? Whatever. And you look up learning rituals in the player core and it says, learning ritual does not count against any limits in your, in your spells or your spell repertoire or any normal spell casting ability. Rituals are never common, though if you look hard, you can probably

find someone who can perform an uncommon ritual for you. They may be unwilling to teach it to you. Period. That's the entire entry on learning rituals. So Pathfinder also doesn't give a shit about rituals. It doesn't explain anything about how one learns a ritual. Here's the thing. It just says learning it doesn't count against spells. So I don't know what I'm missing, but this is the title under the headline, learning ritual.

Yeah, I started to read that last week. You read it last week? Yeah. I thought you were reading the last couple lines of the long process of learning a ritual. It's kind of like a thing that says, just so you know, learning a ritual is a thing. Where did Asa learn the ritual? Like, where did you get it?

From her family. So you just made, you just gave yourself one on character creation? Yeah. On your character sheet. Even Kate turned against you. Look at that. Yeah.

You didn't give me a kiss? At what point were you like, I get a ritual? It allowed me to add it, and I thought, cool. What's it? I don't know. I had a space for ritual spells. And when clicked it one of them was lucky month and I was like And I added it and it sounded really it's like the ritual happened to her. I was History thing I was about to say there's nothing it sets off Joe more than not enough rules

And then you said that This is a perfect There's nothing that sets off Joe more than not enough rules. And then you said that. Yeah, I think this is a perfect... It sounds like GM Fiat. Huh? Sounds like GM Fiat. Are you just reading like now a message board? Yeah, I'm reading a message board and every person's like,

just like the GM tells you if you knew it or not, or you learned it. Yeah, like we did rituals in Strange Aeons. A given character did not have to learn a ritual. We just sort of learned the ritual and did it. So I don't see any reason on this in the book why Brother Ramius can't do it, which is why I also did a very summary role playing of it, because it required no work or effort whatsoever. Show us in the rule book where it says a dog can't play basketball.

That's what this is. Thank you. Right, exactly. Thank you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. But I'm always saying that.

She's air-butting the ritual. That's what's happening. Wolf. You still gotta go through all the checks. You be doing this ritual tonight? Not being successful at the ritual. It's gonna really attract the attention of the other Smiling Wolves.

Okay. What's going on over there? I'll tell them, we're doing a ritual. Fing. Fing. They can watch if they want. Fing. Okay.

It's to imbue luck. Some guy's like, can I watch? Yeah. Okay. What is your name? Father. Your name's Father? Father.

Brotheramius gets like instant chills and just turns and walks away. Your name is Father? And it just says, don't do the ritual over here. Brother Ramius gets like instant chills and just turns and walks away Do the ritual over Please shopping a knife over this Really like Hubert. And I think Hubert is my type. Yeah, leave him with Hubert. Oh my god. Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! That is the scariest, most predatory answer you've ever had to. And the guy was weird. What's your name, sir? The guy was weird. And he just went, fff.

And the face you were making is not committed to video. You want us to call you father while we do the ritual? Is that what it is? Is that what it is? Call me father. Father? Stop making the face. Can I watch?

A look of horror on your face. I gave the name. We should probably stay away from father. Oh my god. You were spiking. That is the creepiest, that is the creepiest episode. Father. That is, I think that might be the creepiest episode

we've ever made. That was the worst thing you've ever done. He's not a priest and he doesn't have children. But he does have some sort of knife. Father. I think father's gonna come back. I think this is gonna be a forever. Father.

I think we should move over. So we're gonna move out of sight of Father. I just got a call. I don't want Father watching. I have to go. My mom is calling. I don't like it when Father watches. Laughter. Laughter. Oh my god.

I can always sense when father is close. I'm looking up lucky month. Right now. But you're still playing? You're gonna roll the trained religion. Two other people have to roll crafting or performance or society. You have to decide who those people are. And I think you should do roll one of those, Asta.

We don't have to be trained in the secondaries, so just choose whichever if you have any. I only have society. All right, I'll do crafting. I can help. I have a plus forward performance on trains, so I could help. I have plus 10 in performance. Oh, let Buggles do it. So Buggles and Asta will do the secondaries. Let's do the secondaries first.

And Kate. Yeah. Do you have a higher society or crafting? No. No, okay. For a ritual, I believe it's only two secondary? No, three? It says secondary checks and then it's crafting performance side. No, that's just giving you what could be rolled.

Oh. So do we just need... Secondary casters three, it says. secondary checks and then it's crafting performance side. No, that's just giving you what could be rolled. Oh, oh. So do we just need? Secondary casters three, it says. Oh, three, okay. It says in the casting explanation. So you do not need to be a caster to do the secondary.

So performance, crafting, society, perfect. What's the DC? I don't know. Why would you ask such a Yes secondary casters three I see that Yes, I am the process. What are you doing? I'm, it's, it's, yeah. Just wanted to talk and fill the air? Yes, that's what we do, we make podcasts. I have, this is weird. Can't we just sit here in respectful silence and hope that the audience doesn't say anything?

Can't we just lie? I feel like they added rituals to the game and they were like, you know what, let's just stop and they forgot to delete it. That's what I'm saying! Like, when you were like, when you were like, oh, you really phoned in that roleplay, I was like, they phoned in Ritual. They were like, uh, it seems like something we should have, but no one has time to write

this. All right. So for effect, it says, a Ritual's effect depends on the result of the primary check. If an effect lists a save DC, use your spell DC for the Ritual's magic tradition or 12th plus your level plus your highest mental attribute modifier if you don't have a spell DC So you're the primary caster. Yeah, what is your spell DC? I don't I'm sure that it's 19 20 20 20. All right, so that's the DC

I'm just gonna fucking move through this. That's everybody's DC. But what are the secondary? I'm just gonna fucking move through this. That's everybody's DC. But what are the secondary? casters the Modify the primary casters. Yeah often a ritual requires secondary checks to represent aspects of his casting Usually with a standard DC for a level twice the ritual spell rank, which would be four. Yeah, so that's 19 I think oh no, wait what that sound that sounds low, but I think that's actually right That seems really hard a different secondary much each if there are more. Sorry.. Wait, what? That sounds low, but I think that's actually right. That seems really hard. That's different secondary much each, if there are more.

All right, so what's twice the spell rank? Would be. It's ritual two. So it would be four. Right. And then I think it's 19. It would be, you know, GM, it's DC's by level. Okay, and you were 19?

My spell DC is 20. Okay. Where did you get 19? My spell DC is 20. Okay Where did you get 19 out of four? It's it's level based DC's GM core basic thing rank 19. Okay, great So your checks your three checks are 19. Very good off the dome. Actually, you know what bottle cap Alright so your three checks DC 19 your check is DC 20 I don't start with'm going to win. We'll start with the, and you have to make all, oh no, there's each level of success. It modifies.

Yes. It makes his. Skid, give your roll. I got a 26, natural 16. Wow. This is a success. No bonus or penalty. No joke, got an 18 plus one crafting, 19.

I just got it. OK. No bonus or penalty. No bonus, no one crafting 19. I just got it. Okay, no bonus or bonus no penalty 19 12 I have a plus 7 no bonus or penalties So the best you could have had would have been a couple plus two's Failure is minus 4 which could stack I guess no it's a circumstance So even though he passed success is no bonus no penalty You have to crit in order to get a bonus you got a crit failure

So which rules are Lucy and how you obtain them, but they're it's hard to do Yeah, if any of you had crit failed it reduces the degree of success by one step So if you succeed it would have been a fail So now it's just a straight-up role and I have to say these are tricky because a critical failure you get a Misfortune like you it's a fortune effect if you do well, but there's misfortune effects if you critically fail. Joe? Yeah, let's hear.

Okay. I want to contribute. Straight up roll DC 20. I want to contribute. I will do so. Lastly, Joe? Yes. We're all counting on you.

Oh, that was dirty. That was dirty. Father is watching. Oh. Oh. Oh, he gets distracted at the last moment. He's back. Father is watching.

What do you think this, how does this, what are you doing? I think that he has this book out this entire time that pointed to a similar style ritual and he's reading poems of Gruhastha and poems, a specific set of poems that are the deal with fate and luck as it is sort of defined globally by different cultures and stuff like that. It has all different meanings. It has all different names, but it all points to one sort of concept, which is that which

we do not control that has this direct impact on our lives kind of thing. And so he's reading these passages and invoking Gruhastha to bless this coin. And so yeah, that's the ritual. And Asta kind of does like a wrapping with the tassels on Zephyr's hands, like wrapping them together to sort of link her with the coin so that it is imbued to her that she will have the luck. So the stakes here, if you do critically fail, once per week, the rituals recipient must

roll twice and take the worst result for their first significant saving throw or skill check of the week as determined by the GM. Oh, wow. This only screws Zephyr. I just go with flesh. First I was like, oh great, I get the coin and then it's like, oh no, you're rolling for it, Joe? You're rolling for it? This ill luck remains for one month

and applies for the recipient whether or not they're wearing the token. So a critical failure here would curse you for a month. You can't even chuck it. Are you serious? You can't even chuck it in a river. It would be unlucky month. Are we sure you wanna give it to me?

All because Sydney didn't know the rules and was fucking around. No! No! I thought I could cast it. I didn't know the rules and was fucking around. No! No! I thought I could cast it. I didn't know it would be Joe doing this final roll. That's fair. Give the token to Father.

Oh, God. He overhears this justice. He's about to complete the ritual. Does it poison? The token! Ah! 21. Oh!

21. Success! All right. So you can call upon the token's luck once per month. So basically- It's the exact, no, it's once per week for a month. No, it's not. It says critical success. It says as critical success, except it's only once per the lucky month.

So instead of once per week, once per this month, while rolling a saving through a skill check, you can use the token's power, roll twice, take the higher result. Fortune effect, which means it can't stack with other fortunes. And it keeps its luck for one month. So you get one reroll. At my rate, that's gonna go quickly. So the entire remainder of the adventure. Yeah.

You get one reroll. For a month. Once. Joe is suggesting that. We'll finish this entire adventure in one. Of game. Of game time. So use it wisely. Use it in the final encounter against the final boss. Save it for the boss adventure of game time. Of game time. So use it wisely.

Use it in the final encounter against the final boss. Save it for the boss battle at the end. Yeah. Asta ties it to your belt. Hey, and now we know whenever we come across 10 gold pieces, we can just make do this again. Yeah. Yeah.

And she whispers to Zephyr as she's tying this coin tassel thing onto her belt, I think Rhaemi has messed it up a little. I think it should have more power, but it should work. But it's a little different when... It's going to work correctly, right? When my parents did it, it just sort of glowed brighter. And I don't know if Grasa...

She glances at Ramius and sees him like rolling maybe. He's just like, oh, thank God that's done. Oh, thank God we got through that. Zephyr looks daggers at Ramius. She's like, yeah, I don't know. Something's been off. He almost killed you that one time. Then you look over and he's just looking for father. I remember in the observatory, I came back.

He slipped my throat. Yeah, he tripped. I just don't know if something's wrong with him. Father's standing there, he's tying a dead worm to his belt. I did a ritual too. Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! That face!

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Terms and conditions apply We're back It's been a while reaction to it As you've done this ritual it didn't give you the powers that Asta had hoped it would give you. But hey, that big save. I wonder if you've declared beforehand. It doesn't say anything about that. You just get to roll twice.

I guess you would declare it because you would say. You sure you have to declare it. Roll twice. It's not a reroll. It's a roll twice. So yeah, when you know that big horrible save is coming, like somebody's cast disintegrate once and is about to do it again on you, It's like, I'm going to use the token. That's cool.

That's cool. Hey, fun to bring in some new aspects to the game. I've been wanting to do it. So thanks. Thanks everybody for doing it with me. That was awesome. Good ritual. This ritual got you a bottle cap.

Yes, it did. Wow. It did. Look at that. And it's pretty wild. It's pretty wild to get three successes on all the secondary checks and a success on the primary check. And it still stinks, apparently.

It is like a very minimal benefit for the degree of difficulty, the effort, and the money that's put into it. Correct. I will say. It's a 2018 bottle cap. There's a. Yeah. There's a.

It's a fun thing to do when you have exactly this sort of situation where you're waiting in a town to do – you can't do anything. It's like, oh, yeah, we sit around, we talk, we get to know each other. I don't know. I thought the ritual was a fun thing that I had never done before. Glad we did it. Glad we did. We'll never do it again. We'll never do it again. You guys go to bed? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We set a watch. Who You guys go to bed? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We set a watch.

Who's got the first watch? Barnes. Barnes got first watch? He's so nervous. He's specifically looking for father. Well, now, all of you people are trying to convince me there's no cannibals in this camp, and you look and you glance over at father, this worm. He's just talking to the worm.

You hungry? I'm going to know where he is and where we are for the rest of the time we're in this camp. Keep an eye on Father. Please, just, if he comes over here at all, just wake me. Just wake me up, if he's anywhere near. You want to talk to him? No, I just don't wanna be asleep when he's around.

Yes. I'm fine, I'm fine to be tired. All of the time. I'll never sleep again if need be. Exactly. There's the episode. If I wake up and he's standing over me, I could die on the spot. Do you ever see the, hey, are you sleeping? Do you ever see the South Park? I'm not sleeping.

I'm not sleeping. I'm not sleeping. I'm not sleeping. I'm not sleeping. I'm not sleeping. I'm not sleeping. I'm not sleeping. I'm not sleeping.

I'm not sleeping. I'm not sleeping. I'm not sleeping. I'm not sleeping. I'm not sleeping. I'm not sleeping. I'm not sleeping. I'm not sleeping. I'm not sleeping. Do you ever see the South Park where it's like on Red Dragon, the Hannibal Lecter movie where the guy's kidnapping kids and he comes back to the scene of the crime and he's completely naked and covered in tattoos and he's got a cap on and the cop who is so clueless. It's like, hello there, sir. What's your name?

God. Oh, Mr. God. I was wondering if you knew anything about these kidnapping. Kind of what father is. God. Oh, Mr. God. God. You go to sleep. God. You go to sleep. Asta, you kind of having that blinking, fading to sleep, looking at the stars up above. And finally you close your eyes and you open them again and the stars have moved. It's not the same view you had when you went to sleep. And maybe you remarked upon it. You counted the stars and your location to help you doze off,

still flushed with adrenaline from all those fights and the ritual. Now you look down and you see across a wide expanse of forest an archway in the distance and there seems to be an altar in front of the archway and people milling about the altar. You're immediately taken back to the forest when you saw the druids, the oak wardens, oak stewards, oak stewards milling about, getting ready to sacrifice a unicorn. But you don't see the unicorn tied to the altar, strapped

to the altar. There's some other creature there and these dark shapes are sort of moving about it. And then we just follow your gaze very slowly across this wide expanse of forest, all the way up to the altar, where we see you strapped to it. And from above, we look down and you're lying there in a beautiful wedding dress, just tied to the altar. You can't move your arms You can't move your hands and There are these shapes moving about you can't make out who your captors are Every time you try to look they're like in your periphery and then behind you, but you know, there are people with ill intent

surrounding you. What's going on through your mind here as you lie looking up at the sky? I think this is bizarre enough that she has that feeling that it has to be a dream, but the fear is still very real, and she does feel like she's trapped. fear is still very real and she does feel like she's trapped. And I think she so badly wants to see who has her trapped, who did this to her.

She's trying really hard to not freak out and she's trying to like focus on a face, to find a face or something memorable. Try to really like turn your head to see who these figures are about you. One seems really small, like scurried past your altar like you couldn't look down and see. Then you catch Brother Ramius. He looks at you very quickly and then turns away. Then you turn your head again and swear Barnes is another one of the captors.

Again something scurries by your feet and you see a hooded goblin scurry past and then standing at the foot of the altar, his sever. She pulls a hood over her face as well as all these figures begin to close on you, cloaked hoods covering their face, but you know just in that little space below their cowl that you're surrounded by your allies. And they begin chanting a haunting, almost melodic chant that starts to like pound on your eardrums until it gets really uncomfortable and you feel your body pulsating. Maybe you look down towards your chest and there seems to be something like growing inside

of you, growing inside of you like towards your stomach, towards your chest and there seems to be something like growing inside of you Growing inside of you like towards your stomach towards your abdomen begins to swell And you watch your abdomen swell and you look up and all those figures are gone The arch lights up That chanting has now been replaced by the sound of the humming archway. Blue light streams down from the top and a figure walks out of the archway toward you. It is a figure wearing a white mask, bestial with horns. Your stomach elongating like something is trying to break out. MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMM MMM MMM MMM MMM M M M M M M M M M M M M M M M M M M M M M And you wake up. Oh, oh. Barnes is standing right next to you.

What? What? What? Is father, father's here? Where is he? It's awesome. Are you alright? And she's like clutching holding her stomach Is she bleeding or her intestines coming out feel like it is that you hold up your hand no blood. Oh She looks at Barnes and Zephyr and everyone around her now like all circled around her in the dark for me

You're all right. What's the matter? Why did you say? What did you say? I saw the... I saw the... the mask. The...

In a ma... Mara... You saw it. It was a dream. He tried to kill me. Yes He stabbed me stopped you Said you were stab me in my stomach I Think and you all

Strapped me down and chanted and open to Kate Wait, where's talk about she? strapped me down and chanted and opened a gate. Wait. Where's Sakawatchi? Wait, wait, no. He needs to understand. He needs to know the dream. What? Sorry. Sakawatchi! I'm right here. I'm right here. What's wrong? What?

I had a dream. She saw it. I need you to identify it. To-to-to-to figure it out. You had a dream? Like the one your friends had? Different. I was strapped to an altar in the woods where the Oak Stewards lived. And they strapped me to an altar. And I was having a baby and the masked Inomar came out and stabbed me. Okay, hold on. Hold on. Oak Stewards, you, your friends?

Yes. Strapped you? Wait, you're sure it was us? Yes. And you've never, you've never lain on an altar before? You did not have a memory of something that happened to you before?

No, no, no. This was my memory of watching the oak stewards When they were gonna sacrifice the unicorn when lucky was with you our dreams were memories, but they were Altered in this and made worse. You'd have an alternate dream. So then mine. Thank you Pockels Ramus was there Did you have an altar in her dream. So then as... Mine. Thank you, Paco. Ramius was there. Did you have an altar? I did not have an altar,

but it was a far worse version of my memory. Yes. So then yes. Any other details? Anything specific? They chanted and they opened an Ayudhara, and then the creature walked through the Ayudhara and took out a knife and stabbed me,

but I was pregnant, but I'm not, well, I don't know if, well, I don't think I'm pregnant. I'm not pregnant. One of the last 10 times you made love. I need to know this. She looks wistfully to the east. I'm kidding. That's all on Castrobell, right?

What? That's all on Castrobell. Oh, wait, Astrobell. All 10 were on Castroville. All ten more on Castroville. I was just trying to lighten the mood. One night, it was a beautiful night. It must have been Castroville.

Any other details now is the most important time because you'll forget them. It was a mask. It was the same. A mask, you are on an altar and this is a place you've been before. No, well, yes. Well, the other detail...

Um, I was wearing a... wedding dress? Wedding dress? Are you married? Wedding dress? Were you to be married... before we met you? Out of wedlock?

I was. Do people still say that? I was. I'm trying to remember the memory she gave up. Was it the wedding dress memory? No. It was a different memory. The wedding dress memory was something else, right?

Oh god, I'm losing my mind. You gave up the memory. You can't remember. You're really into your character. I know. I can't remember. But it's enough that it's hazy. I kind of think that's what you gave away. No.

I think I gave away not the wedding dress where she rips it. I gave away the memory of the wedding day. Yes. So. We'd already had the wedding dress thing. Yeah. You gave up the memory. So she We'd already had the wedding dress, I think. You gave up the memory connected to it. So she's like thinking and she's like, I know that I...

I had... I left... When I went through the gate, I left... Someone... Were you wearing a wedding dress? No, I don't think so. Where would you have gotten a wedding dress? No, I don't think so. Where would you have gotten a wedding dress? My sisters were all married.

You wore your sister's wedding dress? No, I don't. Were you getting married in front of a Ayudhara gate and then the gate? No. Were your sisters pregnant? I don't think so. I don't know. I haven't seen them since...

Perhaps it was... What about something you lost when we gave up our memories? Perhaps it was something you'd forgotten. Sakawachi has no idea what you're talking about. And Asta's just nodding. That would make sense. What about the dress itself? A dress you had never seen before?

Or was it... Did you recognize it? One of your sister's dresses? No, it wasn't one of theirs. I know all of theirs. But you recognized it. Yes. Whose was it? It must have been mine, but I don't remember being married.

But you recognized the dress? Yes. It's confusing, it's hard to explain. Well, you definitely have powers. Because every time we've seen it, our powers grew, so... Yes. When we figure out how to tap into yours,

you definitely have them, right? She's like smiling now, she's very excited. Let's see what you can do. Shoot the divine lance out. She shoots a divine lance at her. She holds her hands out and nothing happens. Like I spent first class in a little childlike. She flies back over to the campsite. She can change the color of her irises.

That's it. Oh, look, they're blue. My hair grows faster. You do feel, similar to those of you that have experienced the dream, like a power has been awakened within you. Nice. You gain that awakened power feat. So you have a deviant ability and now you have the awakened power feat as well.

You just- And it might never come up because it's so specific. Well, look at the awakened because you'll have usually two options for the Awakening and sometimes those are pretty cool. Cool, heck yeah. Wait, so you selected a background that had a deviant ability and you've never talked about it and it's not about it?

Well, she's hinted at it. Yeah. And this is not for role-playing reasons. This is because it's so mechanically irrelevant it never comes up. I mean, it has never come up. Which is very possible. It has never come up once and also super specific ability when I made Asta

everybody had already had all these other abilities so I wasn't gonna pick the same one again so I picked something else that no one had but it just has not come up so maybe it doesn't mesh with the Magus or something no it just literally is not it's like if somebody uses a very specific type of energy against me, I can do something to it, but no one has done it. So, and it has to be an enemy. Buggles has done some energy stuff, but it has to be an enemy.

Listen, unicorns, lost memories, wedding dresses, you should go back to sleep. Yes. But what does it mean? I will think on this. I wouldn't read too much into it. It seems like something or someone is trying to contact you or... He or it stabbed me.

I take that as a threat and I do not take threats lightly all of your dreams invoked fear Why does someone want you to be afraid Let's get some rest. Perhaps they don't want us to come. They want us to flee from this Inamoran. I thought that Inamoran was good.

Yes. Perhaps whoever is working against them is trying to set us against Inamoran. Yes, you said your figure was wearing a mask. Inamoran doesn't wear a mask. Right. You're the possibility, you said your figure was wearing a mask in a moron doesn't wear a mask. Right. The other possibility is that. The attacker is wearing a mask to look as if they are in a moron. Perhaps they the mask is some part of some sort of ritual to gain access to soil. Somebody say ritual. Oh, no.

Well, you were supposed to keep an eye out. Who was the stabbing the chair? Through the tent No perhaps is it perhaps these dreams you're having or not Before boatings of the future but Memories are we lost in the missing moment? that people in these masks Experimented or somehow manipulated our memories or

Perhaps it's something on us while we were there did something on us If you please explain Fear they might do something I They might have drawn a piece of our anatomy on our faces. Like a dick on your face? That would be the least of my concern. That would be fine, I wouldn't mind. Why would you do that on me? I'm not going to be able to sleep thinking about what they did on us. You weren't thinking about that already? All the time, I never, I fear it never crossed my mind. You've recruited me and somebody did something on us.

You have a twisted mind, Bones. I've traveled widely, seen much, much that you and your keeper would be terrified of, Brother Amius. I will try to rest now. And try to sleep. Everybody tries to go back to sleep. Barnes still keeping watch.

It's a time to trade off. Oh, I'm sorry, you're up next. Oh, that's fine. She's not going to sleep. Yeah, she's staying awake. We were next on the schedule. Give it, you're already up. She's looking out for Father.

Good night. He's lying with a dagger in his chest outside the tent. Yeah. Bleeding out. Thinking that this is a ritual too. The rest of the night is uneventful. You all switch off watching and you do see from time to time the smiling wolves. There are some

that don't go to sleep and they're always kind of eyeing your camp. You've hidden your valuables as best you can, I think, but they're just watching and not just creepily watching like father. They're just intrigued. Are they all human? There's a couple of elves and one halfling, but mostly human beyond that. Day breaks and now you have to decide. Sounds like you're going to the market. You have to decide if you want to travel during the day, where navigation would be more difficult using the stars, or at night, where it'll be easier, but it's night. I think everybody's got good vision.

Oh no, you're still, you've got low light vision. Yeah. Everybody else has dark. I only have low light. I'm human. I got dark from Talitha. Yeah. That's right. What my one eyes? Remember you got dark vision. Yeah, that was the switcheroo. I got dark vision. I

Don't remember that That's you watch for sure do what do you know the gate walker? I remember you getting the changeling trait Oh, you didn't get dark vision. Talitha got dark. I gave you dark, no? Talitha had dark vision. Am I crazy? Mm-hmm. Yes.

I know. Like a fox. Crazy like a fox. Maybe I don't have it. I just allowed her to add it to her sheet, so. All right, so vision will be a problem. You get to decide which, which you want to deal with more.

I mean, Harj to navigate during the day, possibly safer for many raiders. Yeah. I think we just go at night. At night, we'd probably have to be like more stealthy, maybe. We just need to, we need the stars, I think. What's, we can't risk getting turned around and turned around and turned around.

Is that what skill, what's that like survival to Or astronomy? Navigate. Astronomy lore. Is that what skill, is that like survival to navigate? Astronomy lore? Survival. Oh, I can use astronomy lore. That's a good enough... Yeah, that's what we got from those folks. We all have that. Yeah, you certainly.

Yeah, I've got survival. Yeah, I could do that too. Yeah, I would allow astronomy lore. It's a pretty perfect use of that. Okay. Those that have it. But it's one person doing the check at a time for each leg of the churn All right, then I'll probably do it. All right, so you wait throughout the day Matt's comes to check on you everything going well here. You're feeling Can we ask you about one of your men? Yes, you know someone named He's looking around for bonds once you know, okay good father. Oh

You met father I Knew that was gonna be your reaction. Yeah, he's quite a character Mostly harmless. Has he been with you long? Yes father We found him in a prison an abandoned prison. He was shackled to the wall There had been some sort of breakout and he was left behind. All the guards were dead. He was strapped to a wall and chains. We freed him, fed him, nursed him back to health and he just sort of stuck around. And always called himself father.

Yes. He takes him getting used to, but I'm not a judge. All right. We hate and fear him. So he doesn't keep away from us. That would be better for our group. He's not everybody's cup of tea. But, sorry, who are his friends? Father keeps to himself. Yeah. Okay. Yes.

He did have a worm at one point. Yeah. No longer. I'll talk with him. Thank you. Similarly, we have a companion we could leave here. Yes. Could perhaps spend some time with Father. Much more pleasant than father the

or talkie I was to understand they would be staying behind. Oh no no no I'm speaking of our hedgehog companion. Asta scoots Hubert towards who um oh hello this could be too dangerous for him. Oh in the in the market and in the city perhaps I thought this was just your pet. in the market and in the city, perhaps. I thought this was just your pet. Oh no. No, no, no, no. He talks. What is your name?

Similar to father, we found him shackled in another dimension and- Foolishly. He's also not everyone's cup of tea. They're being too modest. The name's Edge, Hubert Edge. I'm like family to them now, pretty much. Yep, we've been through a lot. All of us.

That's my hat she's playing with. Asta, stop. I'm a man. I'm a man. Big man. Hubert, would you like to stay and camp with the Smiling Wolves, or would you like to come with us into the city? It could be very deep.

Last night while you were sleeping, I made an acquaintance here. It seemed quite nice and I'd like to get to know him a little bit better. Who? Goes by the name Father. Of course. Yes, we had quite a long talk. See? He gets me, he gets me.

I knew it. Yes. You've got a rock, he's got a worm. Yes, yes, we sat and watched some of you sleep. It was a good time, Father and I. He snapped. What? Brother Amia snapped. To bars. I It was a good time, Father and I. He snapped. Brother Amos snapped.

To Barts. I only watched for two hours, I snapped to Ats. Does he always watch us sleep? They were talking, they seemed like they were having fun. He's very nice, that's an interesting story. Yes, I'll stay behind, I'll check on things here at the camp. Thank you, Hubert. All right.

Thank you. Hubert? All right. Thank you. Hubert? Yes? Keep your wits about you. Yes, in my pants. Right? Yes, well, yes. Can you just say, have a good time?

All right, I will. Well, sun is setting. I can see the first sign of stars in the west. Let's go. All right, good luck. We will keep an eye on your friends and this little fella. Oh, he's yours now.

Oh, we're not hiring. He chooses. Goodbye. What about to replace the men you've lost? We'll be fine. It's like the Huber distribution system. The Huber chosen you. Well, first thing we'll need to do is neuter him.

Honestly? Yes. Honestly, yes. Yes, yes. I really think so. I'm sure you're going to get to surveil him. Maybe we'll put a... Maybe we'll make him calm down.

He'll stop pumping flowers. Magic Eye, what's it called? Augury. Cast an augury spell. Cast an augury on him and then we will make him a human. Good luck. And off you go into the night in search of the mystic market, a market somewhere here in town. You were told that it's somewhere to the southwest of the city, within the city itself.

You begin walking about. Let me get a, you want to do survival? Survival, yeah. I'll do that. Okay. Looking at the stars, just as they told us. 14. 14.

You're looking at the stars, but you do feel like you keep getting distracted by what you see. Even though Matt's told you, like, don't worry about what you see, trust the stars. It is so hard to, like, go against what makes sense to what you see. At a certain point, you're walking down what looks like a main street between these rows of three-story tall apartment buildings. Each of you looks at Ramius and you just see that little seed of doubt in the moonlight that he doesn't seem confident in his navigation. What's everybody doing? Do you need help?

Oh, it is right, right up around that, that wall wasn't there before, but I- Looking at the walls and we're not supposed to, I don't think we're supposed to be doing that. You're right, we're not. Do you need help't think we're supposed to be doing that. You're right, we're not. Do you need help? Perhaps we should retrace our steps. Go back before we continue forward.

Can I do a perception check? I wanna listen to see if I hear anyone or anything approaching. Yeah. The problem is there is no back, Asta. You didn't make a point of where we started in the sky? Well, the sky is always moving. Yep.

13. 13. You're listening. You hear sounds, for sure, but nothing in your immediate vicinity. What'd you roll again? 14. 14. What are you doing, Zephyr?

Maybe even though he seems like he wants to do it himself and he's got it, like trying to look up at the stars and gather where we are and where we should go. Should have been at the market by now, I don't understand. Want to stop and ask for directions? It was a concierge shop nearby. Do I do an astronomy lore? Yeah, I'll try. Astronomy... natural one.

Got that out the way. What's the total? Eight. Eight. You're right, this is hard. I keep wanting to look at the street. What is the good of navigating by the stars if you just walk into a wall? It doesn't make any sense. You have to walk around the wall

and then you're trapped. Asta, what are you doing? So I didn't take astronomy lore with the Sky Sage, I took occultism, so I can't roll astronomy lore. Um, but could I do a perception? Yeah, just to kind of like get back on track here. Yeah, she's, I mean, everybody's been looking at the sky. Uh, who number, bruh? Nineteen?

Nineteen. Um... Nineteen... Uh, what number, bruh? 19? 19. 19, there, all of the buildings up ahead, the doors are all closed, no lights on in between. But you do notice, past the building right up to your left, too, there's another building that sort of juts out, and that door seems to be a jar which is strange because everything else you've seen has been closed what are you doing bubbles I don't really have anything I don't have survival I don't have astronomy lore so even my

perceptions like really bad too but I'll just do a perception. Yeah. Uh, 19. 19. You see the same thing maybe right at the same time that Asta noticed that. It just kind of seems out of place compared to the other doors. They were all closed, but that one's open. As you're both watching there, this like tiny little creature seems to come flying out, but as it moves, it looks like it turns into a wisp of smoke and it just like comes right towards you. And we are now in combat.

Let's go to the map. You need not roll for initiative because everything you just rolled was your initiative. You sneaky. Sneaky, sneaky. Sneaky. I had a feeling. Sneaky, sneaky.

Now, since you rested Zephyr and Asta are no longer drained, am I to assume that Barnes and Asta would be up front? Yeah. Okay, Zephyr and Buggles in the back with Ramius in the middle or Ramius in the back? I assumed Ramius was up front, but in the middle, I think it makes sense too if he was getting distracted and kind of lost.

Oh yeah, you're navigating. He was navigating. Up front, okay. And so Bugles and Zephyr may be behind. Can you guys see the map here? Yeah. All right. So you guys see this street you come down? See it.

Oh, boy. This little creature comes running right up to Raimonds. Whoa. Ooh. Oh, dear. Let me show you a close-up of what it looks like. It's very appropriate based on the banter today. Oh, my God.

I love him. I don't want to fight. No. I am not fighting a cat. I love him! I don't wanna fight. No. I am not fighting a cat. I need to catch this cat and neuter it immediately. Find a home. I fight it, but I specifically just try to cut his balls off repeatedly.

This is like a cat from my nightmares. They come at you fast when you're least expecting it. This is not what they pull your eyes out. It's like a cat having zoomies at night. Yeah. That's what this is. And when you turn your flashlight on, you just see their eyes and it's like. Ugh.

Well, the first action it does is it pounces on you. So it strides and makes an attack with the. Ew. Let's do its jaws. Ooh, terrible roll. That's going to be a 21. That is a hit. That is a hit.

A couple of things are going to happen. First, it's going to be some damage, 14 points of piercing damage and's gonna be some damage. 14 points of piercing damage and six points of fire damage. Oh, yeah. It's fire cap. It's bite. Not unlike the smoke that surrounds it seems to be burning through you. So it pounces, bites and burns for 20 total points of damage. With its second attack, it goes to claw you. total points of damage with its second attack it goes to claw you this is of course with the map and misses with a 16 and then for its final action it just kind of like jumps backwards I mean it moved up to us that was pounce one

action you get this door right here is where it came out? It came out of this building over here To the back. Gotcha. And it came out here pounced towards you attacked attacked a second time and then moved back It is now Asta's turn. Yeah, baby Asta is going to run up no hesitation and I'm gonna spell strike immediately To action Jaun., and I have my new Rune in my katana huge so exciting all right What's I should say the spell I'm gonna do let's do Gouging claw gouging claw of doing that one all right. Let's see plus 11 to hit now. How fun oh?

Fuck skid what do you think it's cracked, but what do you think would you reroll it? It was any of those days would you be well if it was a bad need yes, I would no I wouldn't No, I mean Is it that close can you do a little table? try to Table pound don't touch the dice tray choice coming over wait., he just skid pounded, it was literally on the 20. Should I just re-roll it? Yeah, re-roll it.

It was a 14, it would've hit anyway. It rolled onto a 14 when he pounded. Should I take the 14 or? It was a crack die or a roll? It's only a contested roll here. It's gonna be a garbage roll. It's a natural one. Dude, why?

I'm gonna kill you. The gods have punished you for cheating. It's gonna be a garbage roll. It's a natural one Gods have punished you for cheating Ballad by caddyshack rules. Yeah, that's what I think. Yeah's good you know we don't invoke Addy Shepard. That's true. Ever since the Geneva Concord. Let's get a fan Fumboni out there. Wow, this just went from like, okay. It went from quick down to ice. You have a rune on your katana.

Oh my god, you did a spell strike. So, do you get magic two fumbles and get both? No, just magic. Just magic Fumboni. Absolute waste of my actions, absolute waste of my time. Crit town to shit town. Crit town to shit town, thank you, Skittles. Okay.

Let's see. This one from Oliver in Malmo, Skyn County, Sweden. Sweden? Yeah, Oliver. Cousin Oliver. Ah, yeah. Ooh, cousin Oliver. Ah, Taksimuket Oliver. It's called What in the World in the World in the World. Okay. As you try to unleash your magic on your foe,

it instead warps around you and lifts you entirely from this plane. And into a strange city by the name of Mustavia, before just as suddenly flinging you back. You are entirely removed from combat for two rounds and you may not take any actions during this time. You can name any character from the play referenced and then return in only one round.

Wait, what was the play? Mustavia? This is a reference to my play. It's to Matthew's play. Oh, a city within a city? Oh, what in the world, it played in the world. Oh, oh, oh, wait, I listened to the whole thing. So any character into one round is up to two.

Oh, did you? You lying piece of shit? Name one thing about that. Name any character. There's the girl and the other girl she meets and then the mob. I'm putting a time limit on this. Name a character from Matthew's play.

Is it something with a J? Don't, he can't give you a hint. Don't look at Matthew. Did they say that Matthew can look and say it starts with a J? Is her name with a J? Stop, just that's the person's name. Stop saying.

Is it like Jen or Jamie, or is there one with an S that's like Sarah? The girl who goes there. The girl, oh yeah, the girl who goes there. That's the character. That's the character. Why are you looking at me? I need a final answer.

Jen, Jamie, Sarah. Jen, Jamie, Sarah. What? Cynthia. I love a crip, a fumble that tests friendship. Cynthia, I say Cynthia. Cynthia, final answer, is there a Cynthia? Is it Sydney?

No. Two rounds here. Is it Jen or Jamie or Jenna or Sarah? What's her name? It's a guy named Bill. There's like, What? There's like 45 characters in the play.

I'm talking about the two main women. How many? It was one. All we needed was one. I'm talking about the two main women. And she listened to your podcast. I listened to the whole show. Sounds like it's the grapes of wrath.

I think you're going for Tess. Tess. What's the other one's name? Laura? Ah! Is there a Sydney? This is so great. Oliver, you really screwed Sydney. Yes. Also, this is so great Oliver you really screwed Sydney

Did listen to a city this and I loved it Well, I'm terrible with like character names when I listen they also they're not like hi, my name is Tess They're just like they live their not reading it. It's like you'd read it says oh, that's a you know listen to it live their lives. You're not reading it. It's like you'd read it, so it's like, oh, that's a, you know, you listen to it. You'd see their names a lot. So something in the magic of your spell strike goes awry

and it like teleports you to another place and time. Bye, I'm off the map for two rounds. That's insane. Buggles. I'm gonna send you to Play-to-Read in the meantime. Yeah, she sent the player in case that fumble comes back. Matthew, do a quick rewrite, give her a gun. That would change the play, but I think we can make it happen.

That's amazing. Uh, alright, so... Poor Sandy. I'm looking up the play. That's a brutal, that's a brutal, uh, grit. I thank you Oliver for the careful attention to the play. Sounds like Oliver read the play. Huh, it even says, the city within the city. It says on the website two women. Doesn't even say their name.

Even if I cheated I wouldn't have gotten their names. Yeah, it's because their individual identities aren't important. Episode one Tess. That's what I heard Matthew. That's what I heard. I should have cheated. Oliver, this is what you intended? Tess and Laura. Really? Tess and Laura. Matthew is they call him the new David Mamet. Please no. Anybody who hasn't listened though, it's a great radio play. You should listen.

You don't have to pay attention even. You can just listen. You just listen to it without remembering a single thing? I listened to it like two years ago. I remember every character's name in The Godfather. Buggles. Every character? Buggles is going to turn himself invisible. Ooh juicy! Spicy! And invisibly run over to the five foot square northwest of the cat. To this creature it looks like we've all disappeared. It looks like each one of us has just disappeared.

To the rest of your party, it looks like you all are just disappearing. Right, it looks like there's just three of them. The three of us are like, What the fuck? Where did we go? Brother Ramu. B Ramu is going to...

20 HP down. Yeah, 20 HP down, that's not so good. Shit, he's just gonna knee-jerk reaction fire a divine lance at this thing. Come on Norse Foundry! Natural one. Oh? What in the shit? You guys. We're back. All it took was one more call. Oh my. You just start like a Benny Hill,

just flopping over your head. Man, come on. Next time I'm just leaving the cracked egg, keeping the 20. Unbelievable. That'd be another magical fun with the best. I'll just move down the road here. Bronzino.

This one from Andrew in Washington here. Bronzino! This one from Andrew in Washington, DC. Hi Andrew. Bronzino. You've made a critical error in casting your spell instead of the desired effect. A perfectly cooked Bronzino has manifested and smacked the intended target or the nearest target to the targeted space right in the face dealing non-lethal damage equal to the spells level. The confusion of this mishap leaves the caster stupefied to a degree equal to half the spells level for 1d4 rounds. The Bronzino is perfectly edible if desired. That is a cat! So this is perfect distraction. The cat is so distracting. It won't be able to resist the fish man. What was the level of the spell? It's a cantrip so it's leveled to... It's one. Stupefied one. No, it's resist the fish, man. What was the level of the spell? It's a cantrip, so it's leveled to one.

It's one, right? Stupefied one. No, it's two, two, sorry, leveled to two. Oh, right. So it's stupefied one. So it's stupefied one for one D4 round. So you want me to roll or do you want to roll it? Four rounds.

Jesus Christ. Well, I'll tell you, the real problem with that is that it means a flat check on heal spells for any of you. Yeah. And that could just lose the heal spell. I think the cat should roll a D3 or D4 for how many rounds.

It's a little distracted by the fish to eat the fish. To be though, we'll see. It's a cooked brandzino. And seriously? I'm distracted by the fish. I think the cat should. I think it's hungry and it probably would eat the fish. Sounds fun.

Sounds fun. It would be fun for a fun GM. Oh, I also did damage. So I do two points of non-lethal damage. Two points of non-lethal, okay. So the bronzino, the bones hit the creature. It hurt it. Okay. I'll take it. Ouch. Damn expirience. Or do you have another action? Ouch. I literally on a successful hit of that spell could have done two damage, so.

This is like a cartoon fight right now That's right. It's bad start Last actually bonds. I don't know where I still went up there hit it and he's gonna cast guidance on Barnes Okay, well guidance on beyonds lost one to hit for barnsie. Okay. Let's do No where in the shit that came from! And he's all stupefied. That's a 28 exploit vulnerability. 28 exploit vulnerability.

So this is against the... Standard DC for example. Yeah, that's success. Success or regular success? Regular success. Great. Okay, that also gives me a free recall knowledge. Oh!

Okay, you wanna know weaknesses, resistances, type thing? Weaknesses, is that helpful for us? Yeah. Remaining party members? Yeah, the answer is always none. Community. No, I have no idea. It's a cat! Well, actually, I already know

its highest weakness from the original check. Does it have any? Right, okay. It's cold iron five. Nice. That's cold iron five. Nice! Great. So let's do any interesting abilities. I think this will help you the most. It's immune to fire damage. That makes sense. It's a creature known as an Alanx.

Alanx? Alanx. Annie Lennox? Annie Lennox. Annie Lennox. Well I'm going to walk on some broken glass. Cover of Winter Wonderland. Over, she does actually. That's December I can say that.

It's great. In real world time. Okay. Da da da da da da. Second action move over. Third action swing with my now plus two plus one striking kukri Remember that plus one plus the guidance. Okay, that's a 25 to hit 25 hits nice Okay, that's gonna be

20 points of damage 20 points vulnerability damage. Okay, is's gonna be 20 points of damage 20 points of vulnerability damage, okay, it's a cold iron With because it succeeded the exploit vulnerability. I get to basically any attack. I make effectively has that Oh, that's wait. Did you add that in already? Yeah, that's why it's fun. Oh, oh, so it's not 25 It was 15 and then you had it five. Okay, okay Okay. Okay. Let'll just stay. Okay. Okay. Let me see if I wanna.

Okay. All right. 20 points of damage. Great. It's my turn. It's a great turn. It's a great turn. A little solid turn.

Let's run out the round with Zephyr. Zephyr! Zephyr! Zephyr! Zephyr. Zephyr runs up to the opposite side of the cat where Barnes is. So they just flanked and she releases a flurry of blows

with her fists. And her fists have hand wraps on them that have a rune on it. Whoa! So that's- Very loose rune. Let's see how this goes. A duct taped rune.

Oddly loose rune. Strangely wobbly rune. 21 for the first one. Is that even a real rune? Miss. Off guard. You're reflinks. This is not good. 21 for the first one even a real rune miss off guard You're free flanks Well, this is not good second one. Whoa, are you shitting me? This is a dexterous fucking cat. This is like

19 for the second one You still have another action, um, yeah my third action I was going to back away from it. Hmm. The whole, you know, run up, three of those, run away. Right. Fly away on my suffer. Aid me. Yeah, maybe stay flanked with you. I can save myself the, uh, the dump in the mirror

and just go after it. Okay, I'll stay here then, rather than run away. Sure. And aid Barnes for his next action. Okay, the lateage. Round two. Smokecat's turn. Annie Lennox. Meow.

All right, we're going to do a jaw attack here on Barnes to start. Woo, woo, 27. That hits. 27 as it goes to bite Barnes with its fiery mouth. Okay, min damage, that's gonna be 10 points of piercing and one point of fire. So total minimum across the board, 11 total. Then it turns around, swipes a claw at Zephyr.

Ooh, just bad rolls, bad bad rolls. 21 though. Miss. Miss. I can't believe I sat here and I'm like, it's just a cat. I know it's one enemy and the one enemies tend to mean they're stronger, but it's just a cat. Well, it could have been more more were coming out the door. Apparently not.

And then it's gonna try and bite. What was that? Was that a 21 against you and it was a miss? Miss. 21 miss. I'm a monk. It's gonna try and bite you. Lowest chance to hit here, but I feel that 20 is due.

No, but pretty fucking close, 24. That's a hit. That is a hit. You're gonna take 19 points of piercing and two points of fire for a total of 21 points. That's ridiculous. Of damage. So insane.

Claw, bite, claw! Asta, you are... That was minus 10 to hit? That was, yeah, minus 10 to hit. Maybe it's agile. It's agile, but it's minus 10. Yeah, I mean, I just have the number... It wasn't agile. That's just straight up minus 10. Maybe it's agile. Why'd you say it's agile? Yeah, I mean, I just have the number. Jesus. It wasn't agile.

That's just straight up minus 10. I, uh. It was 24? Yeah, I rolled. He said 24. I rolled. I rolled extremely well. One of the best five numbers you can roll.

I didn't want to give it away, so I said that. All right, so Asta, you have been transported to a magical space in time. A cool city, and I see a woman named Tess and a woman named Laura. I didn't write the crit, why are you yelling at me? I just wrote the play. And Asta looks at them and she goes, hi, what are we, what's going on? And they hand her a sick, sour, submachine gun.

So you'll need this where you're going. Oh my, thank you. You head back, bring this. Thank you so much. Okay. Also a couple grenades. Oh, thank you. Do you have any money?

And a coal iron katana. Money please. Gifts please. They don't have any money. Actually, that's complicated. That's a complicated question. But they can give you a cold iron katana. Okay, they give me a cold iron katana. I put that in my sheath.

This is awesome. I transfer my rune into it, because I have all the time in the world for these two rounds, and I wait to come back. Glad I gave you this time. I think it was a really good choice as the host of the show. Definitely don't regret that. What did you think I would be doing? Thought we'd have a cool story moment.

Instead of being just groped off. The world spins around her and she worries that she might never see her friends again. She has no idea what's going on. Gone forever. Maybe sucked back into the gate. Boggles, what do you do with your invisible? Yeah, I was hoping there was a remote chance that I would get this off and it would work, but it can't now.

So I'm going to step back five feet and then, so we know that, do we all know that the fire can't hurt it? I sure. Then going to step back five feet and pop do an icy ignition. Icy ignition. That's cold. 18 which is a miss. And I'm visible again.

Step back, icy ignition. Did you actually step? Yeah. There I am. I couldn't see me Step back, I see ignition. Did you actually step? Yeah. Uh, I... There, there I am. I couldn't see me, so... Haha, I could see you either. There you be. I thought there was some boundary, uh...

Did you, did you actually just click on invisible? Yeah, I make him invisible. Oh, that's cool. I was invisible to me. Yeah, you can see him, but you can't see, you guys can't see him. Just like you can't see us, alright? Uh, alright. Brother?

Remius. If that's your real name. Yeah. Uh, oh man, that would be a twist. That'd be real. Struggling. He's actually his brother. Brother Jim. Ramias and Jim. Father.

Okay, Ramias is going to step up and take a five foot step toward this combat and cast Bless. Bless. How big? I got a roll for it. Oh God. How big is your aura? How big is your aura? 10? 15? 15. Don't worry about the aura, let's see. Probably won't even need it. Change the color of the aura. Natural 13, we? 15. Don't worry about the or, let's see. Probably won't even need it. Change the color of the or. Natural 13, we're good. So it does go off and bless. There it is.

Little yellow bless. Everybody gets plus one to your attacks. Come on, come on. They have a couple of violence. Okay, flanking. I'm gonna take an attack. Okay. I'm gonna aid you.

Yep. From the other side being like, hit it there. So just like an attack. Okay. I'm gonna aid you. Yep. From the other side, being like, hit it there. So just like an attack roll. A base attack bone. Natural one. So you take a penalty on that damn attack. How much? Minus four.

Minus four? Stop. I think it's minus four. Let's see, critical failure, you take a minus one. Okay. All right. She says right there, and she points. Where?

At the strongest part of its body But it just negates the bus damn it Okay, that should be still fine 25 to hit nice. I've hit ice. It's still off guard I'm gonna bake in the the cold iron make it in Okay, that's better 21 points of damage. Okay, 22 points damage 22 points of damage second attack I Will take another attack 21 points of damage. Oh, I'm sorry, 22 points of damage. 22 points of damage. Second attack, I will take another attack. See here, with a miss with a 16 or 15.

And then I will spend my last action giving guidance to Zephyr. Okay. Hopefully yours will be. Hopeful. Zephyr, you got guidance, like the spell? Yeah. It's the Sky Sage dedication. Oh, I thought guidance like the spell. Yeah, it's the sky sage dedication Oh, yeah, does it have an AO?

If it does it doesn't take it. A reactive strike. That's all I'll say. It doesn't seem to attack you when you do that It doesn't seem to, it doesn't attack you. It doesn't seem to attack you. Midway through Zephyr's. Actually. Actually, you're down 24. I waited for the perfect moment. Barney's like, I sense you're being a little hostile. I'm gonna sense a little bit of hostility right now. Doesn't seem. So I underestimated this cat. It definitely sucks.

She goes for a flurry of blows again, but this time her hand wraps are glowing a bit. So the guidance gives me a plus one to my first attack. That is the worst meow. It makes me wanna scream. Sounds like an alley cat. It's like an annoying, this guidance stack with bless.

Meow. Status bonus. Meow. Less is a status bonus. So knowing that, can I retract that and do 8 instead? You can try. Well then I'm not going to do interrupt people either. Because it gives me a status bonus.

Stat bonus? So, they don't stack. Okay, so I just did an attack roll, so that's a 24 to 8. Okay, that's a plus one. Alright, regular flurry of flows, not the interrupt people. Okay. Plus one. Uhhh, 20. of flows not the interrupt people okay plus one 20 it's a soft guard is a miss one 21 is it still a mess I know nope nope I'm not hitting I'm moving away from

it I'm moving over here who ever've ever runs away runs to the Southwest Earth final action she's going to Let's see I can't it awesome cuz she's not on this plane of existence In Matthew's play and Matthew's play and I love it as a gun. Okay I'll just I'll try to aid Buggles From here. Don't bother. Yeah. Oh, I'll try to aid Buggles from here. Don't bother. Yeah. I can't hurt it.

Yeah. Next round I can't do it. Your switch will be... Can I offer a suggestion? Yeah. I don't know if it works here, but you could heal yourself now, can't you? I can do, where is it? The Harmonized Self, and I'll get eight more, eight hit points back.

So I could do that now. It's one action, yeah. I think now's a good time. How does that recharge? Ten minutes or is it like once a day? It's a focus spell. Yeah, so ten minutes. Unless you can see some other reason to use it, I would use it now. I can't think of like anything else to do. So, and that was a lot. It was 21 hit points. You could try to demoralize it. I don't have Intimidate.

I have plus zero. That would make it harder. That would make it harder. So yeah, I'll harmonize myself and gain eight hit points back. Say a prayer for your yet another lost friend in Asta. As we go to the top of round three. I guess that we should, from our perspective, Asta tried to cast a spell

and disappear. And disappear from this play. To either, she's gone. Asta ran or this cat is more powerful than we could have possibly imagined. Last night she had a horrible dream where she thought you were all her attackers. Maybe she was just biding her time

for the moment to escape. Yeah. Before that dream came true. But she just vanished like out of reality. So it's like, and with all the strange things. While she was swinging at the creature. She went to swing her katana and just. I think we like and with all the strange swinging at the creature. I think we would interpret that as the cat did something.

Yeah the cat did something or like all the I mean reality itself seems to be changing all the time around us the whole time so any of us could vanish at any moment. Puggles you just vanished. True true. We're lucky to have you back. Puggles for a second is like, Did I make Asta disappear? Yeah, it's like, oopsies. My psychic spells are more powerful than I imagined.

So strong. Free action, Barnes checks his belt to see if his healing potion is still there. It is. Oh, look at that. As far as you know. It goes to bite you, Barnes. Seems to still be there. It seems to still be there.

Smoke seems to whirl towards you. Bite. 27 to hit. That hits. 27 to hit. 14 points of piercing damage and six points of fire. 20 points of damage. It then pounces towards Brother Ramius,

which would provoke from burns I don't have an aim and goes to bite Ramie's let me just make sure I can bite and I don't have to claw just a strike all right bite oh oh Nice that is dying to huh, that's great critical hit. Oh Wait, it's how far down are you? I can't get over how far down random creatures in this a Dying to yeah. Well, it's gonna be don't forget you rolled two natural ones One of which center out of existence for two rounds. No, but this is your second attack is a non natural 20 crit. It's insane. Very, very high. I rolled the same thing that I rolled when I

hit you with my second attack. Thanks. Alright, so fire damage doubles too, I believe. Yeah, everything doubles. Yeah. Alright, so 24 points of piercing and two points of fire. So 26 points total. Not doubled. That is doubled. It was two points of fire. So 26 points total. Not doubled. That is doubled. That was one point of fire that I doubled.

I can see how many hit points Joe has. So I thought it'd be way more than that. You did 20 hit points non-doubled a second ago. Yeah, I rolled. You just did 24 doubled. I did. He hit 10 against me the first time. I did 11.

Wait. His minimum was 10. What did I say total? 26? He said 26 total. 12 times 2 is 24 plus 2. Well, I was very lucky, but I still did not have enough. Well, dying 2. Dying 2? Dying 2, man. Oh boy. I'm so tired of it. Just the way these things hit and this their AC it's just nuts it's nuts. It has one more action with its final action it goes to we'll do a jaw attack on bugles here lowest chance to, but didn't matter last time. It's gonna be an 18. That's a miss.

18's a miss. Okay. Asta at that moment, wha! You come back into the combat. Ah! What is happening? Just imagine also moving what a big news day on that city on Earth.

When a kitsune showed up in the middle of it She she turned into a fox form. They never noticed Yeah, okay, so I show back up. Is it my turn. Oh, yeah, okay? Oh, yeah perfect I am going to one action recharge my spell strike to action Strike you could have recharged your spell strike in Mastavia. That's true. It said in the script that you can't take actions. Oh, okay.

It was very specific. The only reason it was better than paralyze is that you couldn't be a target. Yeah. Otherwise it was fully paralyzed. All right, here I go, spell striking again. It's almost as if like it just paused. Like she disappeared, was stuck in this like ethereal

nothingness plane comes back And then hits with her her spell strike can't here we go Or doesn't matter my god 14 doesn't matter Any bottle caps? I'm gonna that's it, that's all my actions. Cause one to recharge, two for a misposter. I rolled a natural three. So.

My god. Buggles. Gong Gong. Gong Gong. Gong Gong. Buggles is, he's going to say, hey, look at that fish. Doesn't that look good? And he's going to do a bon mo.

Against the creature. Look at that brown xenon. Uh, yes. Uh, 23. 23 against my wisdom DC. Oh, your will DC. My will DC, excuse me. Is a success. 23. 23 against my wisdom DC. Oh, your will DC. My will DC, excuse me, is a success. Okay.

So you have minus two to your will saves and perception for a minute. Okay. Minus two to will and perception. Is it a condition or that's just a flat? That's, yeah, it's not a condition. Okay. That's just the effect of the jawn.

Yeah. For a minute you said? Minus two to will and perception. And then he says, Oh, you like fish, do you? Well, you'll be sleeping with the fishes soon! He's going to do an intimidation. Intimidation, okay. 14. The first pun was good, the second one was like...

He saw it coming. Uh, oh fuck. Yeah, I fucked up. What did you want to do? Well, I wanted to use one of my spells as a fire spell so that I could oscillate and like do or as a so do an I spell next round but it's too late. You used two, a bunmo and an intimidate. Right. And it's a two action spell. Well they all are. Yeah. So that's uh, ah shit. Shield. Shield.

It's probably smart. Ramius will move in the initiative order. Becomes the Omicus Barnes. Okay Barnes is going to glint the mirror and a second Barnes will appear right across from Bugles flanking with him. Big Barnes.

They're both very real. As far as you know. And then that Barnes will strike with the. Fake Barnes. They're both very real. Okay. As far as you know. And then that Barnes will strike with the Kukri. Come on Barnes. Off guard. It's a natural four. So that is going to be a 15 with the Bless, which I know is a miss. And then, man.

Yeah, I'll end the illusion. The original Barnes will stay. And I will move. I'll just move. I'll swing around to be over near, near Zephyr. Okay. So original Barnes, both Barnes stay? Okay So original Barnes both Barnes stay no the Barnes near the monster disappear new Barnes goes you swing around Past this creature to go near Zephyr and is consequently Zephyr's turn Bless is gone. No, oh, I don't see why You don't know you're dying Let's just see if it has a cause the duration is one minute. Okay, it has to concentrate Let's just see if it has a concentration. The duration is one minute.

Oh, okay. It has the concentrate. That's to cast it. But the duration is one minute. An action. The duration is in concentration. An action with this trait requires a degree of mental concentration and discipline. That's what the concentrate trait says.

The action does. Yeah. Okay. To cast it. Okay. The duration is in concentration. The duration is one minute. This is how you got to cheat.

You got to like be very confident about it. And say it and just be like yeah. I do that and then somebody on Twitter yells at me. Yep runs runs up. Yeah boggles flank master boggles giving all our fighters a chance. Flurry of blows. It's got to hit at some point, right? Action, Kate! Action, Kate! Flurry of flows, here we go. Flurry of flows.

24. Suck it. Tits. Yes! Suck it. Come on. Second one. Misses. So that's... Six points of damage. Okay. And then she's going to move away from it again, because that was a lot of damage. She doesn't want to hit it. And she turns to Asta before she runs

away. And she was like, the cat's really mean. I wouldn't underestimate it. And then she runs back to Barnes. Okay. I'm just trying to read on Bless. You feel confident or you just like the ruling? If it wasn't, it'd be a 23. What? I have a reputation around here for just taking things positively for myself. Yeah.

Rousing splash. The most charitable definition. Wow. Just like knife in the ribs. I'm just saying we're up we're all up on sometimes. Okay wait what wait who knife two in the ribs? No one nothing happened. What did you say? I hurt you. It's infighting. The duration is one minute. I'm sorry, I'm hungry. The duration is one minute. The duration is one minute.

I just didn't know if you had to continue to sustain the spell or concentrate. Then the duration would say concentration. Yeah. Yeah, duration concentrate, okay. Or sustained. You know, it doesn't have to be sustained either. You can sustain it.

So you put that blessed spell out there, that just stays. Like he's unconscious as God is an unconscious. It's true. Yeah. Hubert questions his existence. Let's chop around four. I need a death save. Critical failure, you permanently die.

DC, 12, unless you have some ability that lowers that. I do. So it's DC, 11. Okay. 16. Oh. Dying. Dying one.

One. Oh, nice. In the moment between... Thank you. Norse Foundryry saving lives out there saving lives In the moment between when that die left your fingers and landed on the landed in your tray I was like it's almost certainly gonna be natural my body It's no castor of all the combats. I just die on

One against a stupid cat well you were the one who led us here a Nonsense cat. What is this nonsense cat doing in this place? You know what I mean? There's all these raiders There's factions or treasure hunters. What is it monster cat doing here? There are strange magics to work Oh, I think you might break It goes to take a bite out of Asta yeah good try 27 to hit garbage roll garbage Oh, oh no Oh, oh no. Oh no, 19 points of piercing and two points of fire. 21 points of damage.

Okay. It then pounces towards Zephyr and goes to take a bite out of you. Stop moving. Zephyr, that's going to be a 22 to hit. Exactly my AC. You take 16 points of piercing and three points of fire. That's 19 points of piercing if you're following along at

home which is everybody. And with its final action it goes to claw bonds. This is awesome. All right. So anyone who can get Ramius up, by the way. Oh, you have the healing potion, not me. I can't send the actions to get down there with me. Maybe you should have let me have the healing potion. Osto ignores Ramius because she doesn't have any healing potions and runs up to the cat. Uh-huh.

Fuck the spell strike, I just need to hit. What? I can't spell strike. Oh, yeah, yeah. So I'm going to just cat. Uh huh. Fuck the spell strike. I just need to hit. What? I can't spell strike. Oh, yeah, yeah. So I'm going to just hit. Wait. And use your dimensional agility to get there? She's already rolled a hit.

It would still give her the attack. Yeah. It doesn't seem like she hit. Oh, I mean that seems like the, that was a natural 20? She's celebrating. This is her pose of celebration. That's her crit celebration. I shall adopt. You rolled another natural 20? She's celebrating. This is her pose of celebration. That's her crit celebration.

I shall adopt. You rolled another natural 10! Whoa! I'm gonna... I used a different die. Oh. I used my tiniest die, which always rolls so good for me. It literally does not always roll so good for me.

That's a Northboundery die? Yeah. That is the tiniest thing. It's their pixie dice, and I love them. It looks like a piece, like a little bit of a sandwich fell off. And you're just like flicking a piece of bread off. Yeah, it's like a caper. So tiny.

It looks like a caper. You know, it looks like a fan fumble. Oh. I've never rolled a one on it until now. I can tell I'm not. I mean, we could just stay in the line, one after another. Regular melee. Regular melee.

Regular melee. Regular melee. Regular melee sure whatever Magical realm will you this one's from st. Gerard I think you're a saint I think you're in normal, Illinois I don't know what it does. I don't know what it does. All I know is it's called your lucky day. Oh Your attack misses because you were distracted by a shiny gold coin between your feet. Classic Asta. What?

You must spend your next available action grabbing the coin. This is a manipulated action that can provoke reactions, but you do get to add one gold to your inventory. Wow. Worth it. Holy, honestly, worth it. Asta swings, misses and goes, ooh. Worth it.

And picks up a gold coin. That could be way worse. When Zephyr and Ramius goes, ooh. Worth it. Worth it. And picks up a gold coin. That could be way worse. Wow. When Zephyr and Ramius die, remember, worth it. You mean the entire party? By this killer demon cat at Skywatch? Bugsy. Bugsy.

Bugsy. Okay, I'm gonna unleash the Kulakan. I'm not gonna do the... My new violent unleash, which I was hoping to be able to do earlier, but that's not feasible. So the Kulakan comes out and vainly sort of like does a fiery frostbite at the creature, shooom the sphere of flames, snaps shut around it. And then in frustration, like fires a shard of his mind at the creature. Please give me a reflex save. Okay, so just one reflex save.

Okay, that is going to be... Jesus. 34. reflex it okay that it's going to be Jesus 34 okay so you know what's frustrating that you can roll a 34 and never said natural 20 now you are a flying cat. I would assume your reflexes are through the roof, but still. Cheese and crackers. This is, I really like the stuff that I fucking hate about this class that I chose for myself. This is it.

I don't have a choice. I have to do it this way and it drives me fucking crazy. It was the closest thing I could find to what I wanted. And it just... We do run into a whole lot of creatures that are just immune to fire. Yeah, immune to like one or the other. And it's like... That's happened quite a bit.

Yeah. Brutal. So Bugles steps up, turns into Kulakan, or let's say Kulakan take over, drops this amazing spell but the cat-like reflexes get right out of the way is that that's it that's yeah those the cybers with the yeah are and see are and see dude you could kill this thing aren't you crit aren't Zeno yeah the barn Zeno is in the building and we're I'm in a tight spot here because I because awesome money just delay right and let's ever move you're absolutely you're absolutely right.

I will delay. Delay. I'm not gonna stay next to it. That's exactly why I'm gonna delay. Yeah, no, I'm not going to stay next to it. That's exactly why I'm gonna delay. So I can move into your spot. So I can flank.

You're gonna move and then he's gonna go in and flank with Asta. Oh, it's next to me right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Zephyr, you're you? I forgot it was next to me. It's up against a wall for the audio listeners, so there's no available flanking position

and no available spot for me to mirror myself over. Okay, I'm flanking. A bit nipple. It is your turn, Zephyr. Florian flows. Come on, Florian! Florian flows. Sorry, this math is so bad. Spoilers, dude.

It's 29 to hit. Oh! What, 30? 30. 39? 30. That's gotta be a crit. That's a hit. So stupid, scream. And a miss.

For minimum damage, four points of damage. Okay. I'm assuming this isn't gonna matter, but Stunning Fist? Oh yeah. We didn't do that last time, but I didn't say it because it hurt my heart. I forgot. Sorry. My brain's like not really working well.

But um. Good timing. And she runs away. Like up here. And then. I'm sorry. Stunning fist? Oh.

That's the thing right? I thought like I missed it so like I missed my chance to do it Isn't just one of the fists have to hit. Yeah. Yeah, just one of them I noticed you miss I didn't say anything cuz it favored me you would roll a fortitude save Okay, I'm sure I'm sure he's I'm sure there's a chance that he failed. It also has the incapacitation trait You know what you said that but I don't see it. Oh, yeah, it says this is incapacitation effect, but it doesn also has the incapacitation trait. You know what, you said that but I don't see it. Oh yeah, it says this is incapacitation effect, but it doesn't have the incapacitation trait. I know, that's why it's confusing.

Yeah. All right, so this, I would, this, all I need is a failure and it would be, the only way it's gonna hurt it is a critical failure. Yes, you need a critically failure, you need a natural one. Fortitude, I rolled a 14. Regular fail. So successful.

Correct. So she runs away, failure blows. What happens on a success, anything? It's stunned one. Correct. So she runs away. Flurry of blows. What happens on a success? Anything? It's stunned one. I'm sorry, what? On a success? No, it's fine. It was saving against it. It's a, yeah, it's um... It favors you. It's just straight up jump. Yeah, okay. Yeah. Um, that's great. So I, it's uh, flurry of blows. Run away. Running away. And then... So I flurry blows, running away, and then, can't help brother Ramius because you're dying. Let's kick Ramius on the way. Let's kick Santa Jamius in the face.

You can, you can, you can administer first aid. Actually, I think you probably have to be holding a medical kit and shit. Yeah, I also have zero medicine, not train. That'll do. I try to aid Asta when she goes. Thank you. I need it so bad.

She really does. At first, top of round five, brother. Barnes isn't gonna act. Okay. Okay. Come on, Barnes. Come on! So Barnes will step into the square, flanking.

This is the one. With Asta. This is the fucking one. And will take a strike. Oh! With the bless with the bless 19 Okay Don't don't don't don't you know? It's not just that we roll bad. Yeah, I've been rolling. It's not just that we roll bad. It's like

that we roll bad. I've been rolling bad. It's not just that we roll bad. It's like, we have to roll really good. Yeah. On the first attack, to get a regular hit. Yeah. Brutal.

I rolled a natural 18. On the first hit. On the first attack. Yeah. All right. It's a regular. Barnes is gonna, for his third action, he's just gonna move out of there.

He'll go up near Buggles. Well, you're not gonna help me flank? I could go down with a single hit. Yeah, this is like 20 points. So can I. Bye. Speaking of going down. Yeah, I mean, it can just jump to you

in a single thing anyway, doesn't really matter. Top of five, it's radius. Doesn't matter. Takes it one action to move all the way to you and attack. And attack on the same one. We're gonna get TPK'd by a fucking cat. Crazier things have happened. This is recovery check, right?

DC 10. DC 10 for old. Remove! Natty 15. Yeah! Stable! Stable. Stable!

You've never rolled better. And wounded John. Stable. Yes, we will add the wounded Kondish. Dying, taken. I think you're gonna be just fine. Can I remove stupefied? Come on, we're among friends.

No, it's for a minute. It's been four rounds. It's been four rounds. Stop being weird. It wasn't for a minute. Oh, it was four rounds, you're right, yeah, that didn't stop. Yeah.

I will remove it from your character. Stop being weird. Stop being weird. You're being weird. All right, it is Smokecat's turn. Smokecat has a foxy lady right in front of him. So he's gonna start by taking a bite out of you. Or attempting to crack die.

Oh, I mean. That's crit. I don't think it's a crit, but I mean, I'm just, I'm rolling so well, it's a 33 to hit. That is of course a crit. We do not think that was a crit. We do not think that was a crit. We do not think that was a crit.

Yeah. So. I'm gonna go down. Oh no. Yeah. Oh no. He took down half, I have 27 hit points left. He took down half my health.

In one shot. One shot. Two. 30 points of piercing and six points of fire. So I'm done. Dying two, four, Asta, La Vista. That was only its first action by the way. You know, remember last episode,

last episode we were like, you know what? Let's do a role playing episode. Let's get back into the swing of things. Yeah. I'm glad we did that. So we can learn about my character right before she dies. Yeah. Pounces towards Zephyr.

And goes to Klaue. Nattie 19. That's gonna be a 31 to hit. Not a crit. Only a claw. Good. That's gonna be minimum damage, 10 points of slashing. And then, let me just move Asta before here. Still up.

Nice. And we'll do another clock. And misses with a 12. Okay. Okay, it is now Bugles turn. Bugles is 10 feet away to the east of this creature. Gotta kill it this round. Okay, so the Kulakan

Okay, so the Kulakan is the last attempt before he knows that he has to leave immediately. He can't sustain his presence here and he doesn't know if the creature, his host, will survive until the next item comes back. Boom, snap. Cold snap against creature. Targeted? Targeted. 25 to hit. Hit. Okay, beautiful. That is 18 points of cold damage.

Something happens. Buggles reaches out. Snap. Does this cold damage to the cat. The cat takes this damage, hurts it for sure. It was amped by the way, for those accountants out there. The damage accountants. The damage accountants at home, of which there are many.

Yeah. At that moment, it disperses into like ash, cinders that starts to fill a 20-foot radius around the creature. None of you who are awake at this point see the creature anymore, but you can sense it about you worse than that all of you within this disbursement Start to feel really really hot Oh, no, and we'll see you next week

No, is he slow rolling an explosion before next week, I hope it's a death row I hope we don't have to fight it more. Yeah. Oh yeah. How much is it? Am I away from it? Am I good? No?

Nobody is. Death throw is the best possible scenario. Okay, Ossa's gonna die. Death throw is not the best possible scenario. Worst possible scenario. Matthew's onto something. It's time to make your membership official. Start your 30-day free trial today and become an official member of the Naish at JoinTheNaish.com

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