The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 12 - The Killing Choke

Episode Date: August 18, 2015

As Skreed's trap is sprung, a bigoted priest takes advantage of the chaos by staging a lynching, and the heroes brave smoke and flame in a collapsing building to rescue an old friend. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast... You must light the beacons in the city to alert the guards to come and help us. Three orcs come up behind you. And hell is about to break loose. My favorite encounter I've ever read. When Screed's army lays siege to Trunau, the heroes must rise to defend their city. Everyone who can hold a battle axe or a sword get out there and fight the attackers their friends come out of the house before it

collapses i can't i can't leave her where is she she's here she's trapped without with those biceps she's trapped and the victims of even darker threats from within now Now this, this dirty, filthy halfie was the scourge of our village. She's the reason they're here. And we must rid this town of her and all her kind. String her up! The Battle of Bloodmarch Hill begins now. Hello everyone, my name is Joe and I have a problem. I play RPGs a lot. Mostly because they're the best thing on Earth. I love them for many reasons.

Cooperative storytelling, obviously the laughs, and though I hate to admit it to myself sometimes, I love the rules. Now, I'm not above breaking the rules. I love the rules. Now, I'm not above breaking the rules. Any DM worth their weight in geldings, to quote Wet Hot American Summer, knows that rules in D&D and Pathfinder were made to be broken. When I DM, I break rules all the time. But that doesn't mean that I don't love them. As a player, I think you should be bound by the rules. They should give you the lines in which you color your picture.

They should give you the lines in which you color your picture. It's easy to argue that coloring outside the lines makes you a true genius, a true artist. But I would argue that coloring inside the lines first will give you the foundation and discipline you need to create more outrageous and awesome art down the line. I say this because I believe that in many ways the rules of this game we play each week are actually written to make a better story. When your characters struggle against seemingly impossible odds and you overcome those odds while staying, to the best of your knowledge, within the confines of the rules, then that victory is that much sweeter. But when you're breaking the rules because you don't know the rules, that's a whole nother matter entirely. For that reason, we're starting a new column on our Tumblr. It's called We Are Stupid, and it details all the many rules we screwed up just out of sheer ignorance each week.

We don't always make mistakes, but when we do, they can be pretty epic. So go to the Tumblr when you have a chance and check these little columns out. Even if you don't give two shits about the rules, you might find it funny how breaking them actually may have changed the narrative entirely. I could get into a whole thing now on like multiple dimensions and parallel universes, but I'm not some sort of nerd. Now let's get back to my grown up friends and I playing make-believe in my living room. Remember, I'm the Half-Orc Ranger Lork, and I hear warhorns calling. It's time to save True Now. Enjoy episode 12, The Killing Choke. I don't even know what to say. I'm mesmerized by this sound.

The sounds of battle. We could just do a whole hour of just listening to that. Yahoom-tackle! Thanks once again to Sirenscape. Yes. S-Y-R-E-N. I-N-i-n-s-y-r-i-n-scape these australians don't know how to spell siren that's www.sirenscape.com great background uh sound for your tabletop games um and the perfect sound for a time when True Now is completely under siege. Told you so, True Now. Yeah, we told you. Can't say

you didn't warn him. But now we're in the middle of this chaos. It went from this somber, quiet solitude of the funeral to pandemonium. But before we get into that, before we started recording today, we did a little shopping spree for our characters who are flush with gold.

If you listened to the last episode, I didn't want to bore everyone with the long conversation of, how much can I sell this for and how much gold do I have to buy this thing? Let's turn this into an episode of Sex and the City except with maces. Instead of stilettos.

Yo, that's sexist. So we just sort of paused the action and said that whatever we do off the air happened during that point. So we did it, and you guys got some new toys to play with? What did everybody get? What did you guys get for Christmas? Gormley is now sporting a set of silken ceremonial robes.

It is like Sex and the City. So what does that do for you? It gives me a plus one to my AC, but does not incur any... It's minus zero to my spellcasting and to my decks. Arcane spell failure chance. Right, so

most spellcasters can't wear armor because they use their arms to cast spells, and the armor can interfere with the casting of the spells, known as a somatic component. And so there's a chance that you could try and cast a spell, and you've got to roll and be like, oh, sorry, my armor interfered.

And then you lose that spell, and if it wasn't one of your big spells, it's brutal. So on the rare occasions that casters want to wear armor, they want to get stuff that doesn't have any arcane spell failure chance and that's what you got. Nice. Gift. What about you, Galabras? I was a little

cheap. I just got a light crossbow. Because he found those cool ass specialty bolts, crossbow bolts in the basement of the plague house. What did they have? They were bolts of cold iron and silver. So I split them with

Gormley. So if this is a werewolf attack, we'll be in great shame. I hope there's some fucking werewolves. Or those vampires from Twilight. I'll kill Robert Pattinson. Take them out. Did you buy anything besides a brewer's kit? Bought the brewer's kit, which everyone

heard about. I also got another heady brew, a potion of cured light wounds. I did as well, actually. That is a good thing to have for the upcoming war. Lorik, you were the big winner.

I was definitely the big winner. I got a... Well. I turned that Masterwork longsword that we found into a Masterwork spear. And spears are a little cheaper. So I bought a longspear Masterwork style, which makes it easier for me to hit opponents. And I got

a set of medium armor. I upgraded to chainmail, which greatly increases my ability to defend attacks. So I'm ready to front line fight this little war. And I will say Baron is ready to just like stand right behind you and like point my gun in between

your legs again. Once again. Oh boy. Well I just hope no mice come after you. Hey, alright. Heavily armored and ready to attack. Unless it's a mouse. Grant, quick question. Do you have any stealth?

Are you stealthy at all? I have plus four. There you go. Read up on the stealth rules because you can hide. Don't talk to me like I'm a fucking idiot. I'm just saying you can hide behind a creature that's a size, well, I guess we're the same size. Yeah, I'm still medium, you motherfucker.

But you can try to use me as cover and hide. Just look into it because you can get some nice bonuses. This is real role reversal because I'm like two feet taller than Joe in real life. That's true. Two whole feet. He's four foot tall. I'm enjoying this short stuff. All right, so I think we're good to go.

Great. All right, so we'll see you next week on the Glass Cannon Podcast. Okay, so yeah, this is a bit of pandemonium. It went from this solemn atmosphere at the Flame of the Fallen has now turned into a chaotic race to prepare True Now for attack and protect its very valuable citizens. So you guys are standing there like, what the fuck? So all of a sudden, Patrol Captain Jagrin Grath and Omas Frum come stumbling.

You see them rallying the nearby guards and taking command of the town militia to help repel these invaders. They're sending them all down. Go, go, go. Down to the inner corner. To the inner corner. You see any residents that are of fighting age are gathering what little handmade weapons they have and just like grabbing them from their house and running down there and you said i think last time that this is that's where orc or lork is from right like that down that area yeah lork has uh you not only do you live down there but you have a little bit of a a story uh that i don't

think you've shared with your fellow pcs i have not maybe we should talk about this a little bit before this pandemonium ensues. Does it make sense for us to know about it right before pandemonium? Well, I mean, Lork could pretty easily turn to you and be like, we must get down to the, what is it called? The inner? The inner quarter. Yeah, we must get down to the inner quarter.

Great preparation. My son. Oh! Say what? Wow, that's a twist. Yeah, so Lork has a son, and it's a long story. He can get into it later, but basically he's of basically adult age, and he's in the militia, so he can sort of take care of himself.

But he's still young. He's about 18, 19. He is not a biological son he's an adopted son of a fellow fallen adventurer joe slash he basically took care of uh after a giant killed his friend and now he is uh he's raised him here in true now and the kid is he knows he's down there where this attack is coming from so lorik's first thoughts in this whole thing are like, oh, shit. Like, my boy is down there, and I got to go down there and help him. So he's basically asking you guys for help,

because he has suddenly come to trust you as companions. And he's like, please, you must help me. Joe slash Lork, I've been wondering for a while if you are not indeed too old for this shit. Not yet. Not quite yet. What's your son's name, your adopted son's name? Justin Bieber.

Is it Othdan? Can you remember what it is? Is it Ernstl? Get him. You think I would have Named that ahead It's Jason No it isn't It's Jason

Spelled J-A-Y J-Smith Make it fantasy J-Smith I knew I'd put Joe On the spot I didn't even think of it Be creative

Damn it That is not my strong suit I said Lork didn't have Any mental capability No no no Lork Jr. Well no It's not He could be J It doesn't matter Like J apostrophe S-O-N Yes I said Lork didn't have any mental capabilities. No, no, no. Lork Jr. Well, no.

He could be J. It doesn't matter. Like J apostrophe S-O-N. Yes. Wait, wait. Just son? Yeah. Just son.

Just son. Yeah. Yeah, there you go. Just son. He's a human child, so he doesn't have a weirdo halfie name like his adoptive father. Like his dad. All right, so your adopted son, just son. J-son. Lork and just son. his adoptive father. Alright, so your adopted son, Jasun. Jason. The orc and Jasun.

Jason, S-A-W-N. So Jasun is down. Lork the orc and Jasun the son. A lot of creativity here. He's killing it. So yeah, you guys now find out,

shit, we gotta help him save his son. Give me back my son. All of a sudden, Cursed comes riding up on a horse. And for a moment, you see a little bit of Roderick in this guy, because now Cursed is being thrown into the position of having to lead. And so for a moment, you're like,

who is this guy? Who are you all of a sudden? There's an element of... Hey! What was that? There's an element of confidence about him. He's like Austin Rivers in the Clippers... Never mind.

He says, gentlemen, you are now de facto members of the True Now militia. Of course, Lork, you're already one facto members of the True Now Militia. Of course, Lorc, you're already one of them, but you all are now de facto members of the Militia, and I need your help. You must light the beacons in the city,

in various locations around town, to alert the guards to come and help us. I need to get this Lord of the Rings soundtrack. Yeah. There are three key locations. Obviously, the Flame of the Fallen has already been lit, and it will stay lit from Roderick's funeral. I need you to get to the Commons beacon, which is outside of the inner city. I need you to get to the Inner Gates beacon, which is right when you get into the Inner Gates, and then the Hope Spring beacon, which is on the other side of the inner quarter.

You've got to light those, and you've got to take care of that so that the beacons can go up and we'll get the help that we need. Your secondary objective is to secure as many areas as possible as you make your way to the final Hope Spring Beacon. While slaying orcs is obviously very helpful and very necessary, it's even more important to save the townsfolk from danger. For now, please send anyone you find to Trunau's upper quarter to head to the Longhouse, and they'll take refuge with the other defenders.

So you must light the beacons, you must kill the orcs, but above all, you must protect our citizens by sending them to the Longhouse. Are we clear? Yes. All right. My orders are out. This seems like a... I'm not really good at leading.

I'm sorry. This is like a real-time strategy mission right now. Yeah, that's what just... It's like Red Alert 2. So do whatever you need to do. Oh, I really like your new armor and your kimono you have there. Your ceremonial armor. There's no time to talk about these things. Just get to the commons Oh, I really like your new armor and your kimono you have there.

Ceremonial armor. There's no time to talk about these things. Just get to the commons. You didn't even mention my new crossbow. All right, I'll see you. He didn't like it. By the way, I liked your crossbow. Oh, thank you.

Okay, now I feel good. Baron. Fuck you, dude. My name's Calabrus. No, no, no. My name's Calabrus. No, no, no. My crossbow is masterwork. Okay, it's nicer than mine. Okay, so I'm looking at the map now.

So we've got to get to the Commons Beacon. Where are we in relation to the Commons Beacon? Funeral place. Yeah, you're at the Flame of the Fallen. So you need to get to the Commons Beacon, which is outside of the inner quarter. Then you need to get to the Commons Beacon, which is outside of the Inner Quarter. Then you need to get into the Inner Quarter to light the Inner Beacon. And then you need to get across the Inner Quarter to light the Hope Spring Beacon.

I say, Lork, I know you're worried about your boy. But we need to go from beacon to beacon in the shortest manner possible. You're right. He can take care of himself. He's well trained You're right. He can take care of himself. He's well trained. Alright, so Lork sort of puts on his, he's a sergeant in the militia, so he sort of puts on his sergeant hat, which is

basically, you know, cursed as like a captain, a lieutenant. He gives the orders, and these guys are now like deputized militia. Lork is like a sergeant, which is basically you give orders to a small group of people and he's like all right are you great let's go this way and just sort of moves toward the is it the commons beacon that's the nearest one yeah yeah so we'll go straight to the commons beacon and he's going to trust that you know he has trained his son his

whole life basically so he knows he can take care of himself he's just it was that initial like knee-jerk reaction of like like, fatherly protectiveness. But he knows that, like, the town is the most important thing, and his son will think the same thing. And he's an active member of the militia. Exactly. Like, he's got to follow orders. So, all right, straight to the commons beacon. It should be, like, 150 feet away from us, where we are right now.

Oh, okay, so it's not too far. It's directly north. All right, kind of an intense moment. You guys start to walk up to the Commons Beacon. And by the way, lighting the beacon is the easy part. You just need a lit torch. It's a 10-foot-wide pyramid of wood. Set the kindling ablaze.

You're good to go. But you'll soon see. Campfire bead? Yeah, boom, just fucking chuck campfire beads. You guys get there, and you see a crowd gathered around the beacon, and a lynch mob has gathered, led by this guy dressed in religious garb, and they're stringing up Brynja Kelver to lynch her.

No. Shut the fuck up right now. You can't let Roderick and Brynja die. We've got to save her. Lork is not into it. Just saying. So you guys come up and you can see before you, on the other side of this mob is the commons beacon,

and you just see this man, and you can roll a knowledge local to... Nope. Lork. 18 for Gormley. I guess Lork doesn't know him. 14. You guys all have knowledge levels.

Gormley, you recognize... I put a skill point in it. I just feel like you should be able to roll knowledge local untrained. Yeah. No, you... If it's in your hometown. But I rolled shitty anyway. Gormley nailed it.

Gormley recognizes this from back in the day. It would make sense. Maybe, Lork, you're not... I was gone for a while. You're gone for a while. Not a human. And Galabras, you obviously know this is a man of the cloth, but you're not familiar with this particular guy. His name is Basil Sabask.

And he is like a cleric from the nearby Trunau Counting House, which is the town's temple of Abadar. Ah, okay. Ah, Abadar. Abadar. Ah, Abadar. And he is placed.

We should explain. Abadar is a god of, like, merchants. He's a god of coin and profit. He's good. He is a good god he he basically i kind of think of him as like the uh einrand of gods he's basically like he he points out he's a piece of shit yeah so he has a six foot tall statue of a dollar sign in his living room he points out the goodness you know the quote-unquote goodness that comes from from. It comes from self interest. He's the Gordon Gekko of gods.

He's the Mitt Romney of... And he's played by Michael Madsen. Oh, that's great. Michael Madsen now or Michael Madsen Reservoir Dogs? Reservoir Dogs, Michael Madsen. Okay. And he says, you can overhear him talking

to the crowd, I'm tired of seeing war besiege my hometown time and time again. And now my home is under attack. My own home where I sleep. Where my wife plays with her toys. Wait, what? It's not Al Pacino.

That's a different story. Now this, this dirty, filthy halfie was the scourge of our village. She's the reason they're here. And we must rid this town of her and all her kind. String her up. So hang on. Picture wise, we're behind the crowd and he's at the head of the crowd?

Like there's a crowd between us and him. And you see on the other side of that is Brittany. He's kind of like standing up above. And he can see you guys. I turn to Lork, and I say, put me on your shoulders. I'm not going to put you on my shoulders. Put me on your shoulders. Why?

Chicken fight. Gormley, get up, says Calabras. Lork is looking to jump right in the middle of this fucking shit show. Calabras is just going to start forcing his way through the crowd. Yeah, exactly. So is Gormley get up Says Galabras Lork is looking To jump right in the middle Galabras is just Just going to start Forcing his way Through the crowd Yeah exactly

So is Gormley We're forcing our way Through the crowd Sorry buddy We got to force Our way in here Fuck you Fuck you

I have a feeling That Baron was going To try to be heroic there We kind of deprived him Of that chance Alright so you guys Are just Making your way through the crowd,

and you get to the head of it, and you make eyes with Basil Sabask. Basil. Can I do a... Ah, and here's another one. I'd like to do an intimidation check. Okay, roll for intimidation. All right, so basically I'm going to, I'm going to, like, you know,

burst into this little hate, square of hate that they have going on. And add more hate. And just say, you know, in my best half-orc angry voice, just going to scream like, You're going to string up this poor innocent girl when we're under attack by orcs. The fools, all of you, you must understand this girl had nothing to do with it. Listen to this buffoon. Any man who tries to string up this half-orc is going to answer to me, and I'll stab him through right now with my long spear. And he goes into his stance, threatening the guy, and will roll an intimidation check.

Oh, yeah! Woo-hoo! 25. The Basil Sabask, played by Michael Madsen, is like, ah. I look right in his fucking face and I point my long spear at him.

But you're responsible. You're all responsible. You let her down right now or I'll run you through. Alright, fine. Fine, fine. Take them all. Take everything. This might as well be your city.

You've taken over this whole place. Stop whining about your problems and pick up a sword and fight the attack on your city. I hate your music and everything. the attack on your city. I hate your music and everything. Stop blaming your problems on... Immigrants.

On immigrants and music. All right. What a piece of shit. And then I turn to the crowd and I say, everyone, everyone who can hold

a battle axe or a sword, get out there and fight the attackers. Anyone else should get to the longhouse. Yeah, and anyone else, women and children to the longhouse, go to the, is it the upper city? Is that what he said? I send them right to the war. To the lower city, I mean the upper city.

To the walls. He's like whispering in Mark's ear. To the longhouse. Boy, I meant the longhouse. See the walls. Gorblay is like whispering in Mark's ear. To the longhouse. To the longhouse. I meant the longhouse. See that tree on fire? Run at it. Climb it. And so the crowd just kind of like disperses,

and they start running in all directions, but the majority of them are running to safety. Good, good, good. The ones that are more able-bodied look like they're running to grab makeshift weapons. Is Brynja going to safety? No, Brynja just collapsed, and she's just laying on the ground like... I'll pick her up.

Like shocked, and meanwhile Basil is just sitting with his head in his hands like, what have I done? He obviously has his full share of racial prejudice, but he just kind of got caught up in the moment. Gormley walks over to Basil, squats down in front of him, and takes a long fingernail and draws it across his face and says, Darling, what the fuck is wrong with you? I don't know.

But this isn't helping me. I just got nervous. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I this isn't helping me. I just got nervous. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm not a bad man. No, so, all right, then I'll walk up there. If you're not a bad man, get to the front lines of the battle and help heal those militiamen that are giving their lives for this fight.

Yes, yes. I'll go back to the counting house and see if I can rally some troops. Good. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. We'll talk about this later. Go. Ah, why'd you hit me?

I'm going to go make sure that Brynja's okay. Okay. Um, so you go over to Brynja. Oh. Breathe. Make sure to breathe. I was... Oftentimes when people are hung, they can't breathe.

I... Thank you. I don't have knowledge hanging. I thank you so much. You guys are always here just in the nick of time. I don't know what came over these men, but they just ran into my house and carried me up. I was almost dead.

There'll be plenty of time for this to talk later. Make your way to the longhouse. I'll take care of you there. All right, please. You guys have a rather difficult task ahead of you. I want you to have this. And she hands you Roderick's consecrated hope knife. And she says, when the time is right,

Roderick's spirit will help protect those who laid his soul to rest. And she gives you this, and it's been burnt completely black, but the only thing that you can see on it, it still says, my love. In stark silver.

That's all it says. And it glows with light. Ooh. All right, so, yeah, she gives you this, and she goes back to the Lord of the Rings. And is the thing right there the beacon? Yep. All right, fire it up, light it up.

What do we got? How do we do that? I throw a Sigur Río directly into the... Ooh, I like that. That's nice. You get a grid point. All right. So you guys want to head to the inner quarter?

I think that's it, yeah. All right, so after narrowly avoiding a hanging, you guys get... Oh, no, we weren't hung. I heard Lork's well hung. Narrowly averting a hanging. Yeah! Nah, I'm just kidding. Finally a Lork compliment.

He's got to have something going for him. I like your crossbow! Lork narrowly averted a hanging. That's right. Yeah, he was definitely next. You guys, to get to the inner gates beacon, it's pretty easy. There's a portcullis to enter into the city walls,

and there are guards standing there, and they raise the portcullis for you to enter, and you walk in to Pandemonium. You actually see a flaming boulder, a second one, come flying through the entire corridor. It's coming from way out west, and it flies through, catches these three trees in the middle of the quarter ablaze

and crashes straight through a grit and Sarah Morninghawk's house decimates the house. Oh shit. Is this the kind of thing that could be thrown by a giant? Would Lurk know? Or is it like the kind of thing that comes from like a catapult?

Seems like something that comes from a trebuchet. Do you have the Ukyres in here with the trebuchet, French siege weapons? It's a real thing. I know it is. And it's actually the correct pronunciation, even though it's a French origin, it's trebuchet. Really? Oh, wow. Thank you, Skip.

You're such a loser. I did an off-Broadway show That concerned mainly a trebuchet You're not helping And we did a lot of study about it Knowledge history It was Philip K. Dick's first play That's right The Trebuchet Chronicles

No, no, no Or what I did last summer with My Electric Sheep That is a Robert Heinlein movie Stranger in a Strange Trebuchet This has been Dick Moment With Grant Berger and Crow Valley. We are a couple of dicks. Can we talk a little bit

about the inner quarter? Who lives here? Is it a lower income? I do. I do. The city is built on a hill. The entire city of True Now has its own walls that surround the whole city, but it's built on this sort of hill after hill after hill.

Now, the inner quarter is kind of like the main area. Oh, okay. So this is downtown. It has its own walls. Yeah, this is downtown Trinale. It has its own walls, and it's fortified, and this is where they kind of keep all of the important stuff. And it itself is built on its own elevation. Now you guys came from the upper

quarter and you had to kind of, you climbed a hill to get to these gates and they lifted the portcullis and you see all these towers. Most of them are accessible, well actually some of them, like the ones nearest you, are accessible only from the outside. And then in here there are towers that are accessible from the inside and some you can only, are accessible from the outside. And then in here, there are towers that are accessible from the inside, and some you can only, are accessible from the curtain wall. So you enter one, go across the curtain wall, and that's how you get in.

And then there's just houses galore, everywhere, and the houses are in various states of disrepair. You see one of the towers to the far southwest is completely destroyed destroyed and you realize that's that first boulder you saw that's what it hit that's what it hit it destroyed that tower

and then obviously the second boulder you saw just hit and caught these trees on fire and destroyed Sarah and Agrit's house and you also realize they were probably home because Clamor is closed today at this time so hopefully the alarms raise them, rouse them. Unless they got to the longhouse.

They might have been at the funeral. Come on. Yeah, funeral. Funeral. Good idea. Well, they're one of the first houses here. So it is pandemonium. You just see bodies.

You see people being pulled. Like right at this station here, they've built a barricade. Right when you get through, there's a barricade, a little barricade that they've built, and there are medics basically helping the infirmed. People that can walk on their own, they're ushering them out, presumably taking them to the longhouse, and then other people in various states of death, dying, instability, and they're being worked on. The inner beacon that you were supposed to light, completely destroyed.

The orcs had destroyed it, so there's no inner beacon anymore. Meanwhile, Cursed rolls up again, leading a squad of stalwart True Now and Militia members. He orders you guys to secure the inner quarter as they make their way toward the final unlit beacon near the Hope Spring. And the Hope Spring is, you have to go out to the other side on the west

to get outside and go down to the Hope Spring. Through the western gates around. Around the mulberry bush. So we'd have to cross through the inner quarter. You'd have to cross through the inner quarter. And all this pandemonium to get. Right. Slaying orcs, saving people, and making your way to the Hope Spring.

And fending off this siege. Right, slaying orcs, saving people, and making your way to the Hope Spring, and fending off this siege. So we see orcs among the pandemonium attacking. Have they breached the walls? No. From here, you can't really get a good sense of it, but you don't see any orcs right now. You see dead humans and dead half-orcs, but you don't see any living orcs raiding at the moment.

I guess it also stands to reason that if there's an insurgency, there's a half-orc contingent within the town that's now... Absolutely. I mean, they're the ones that destroyed the beacon. Maybe they're the ones that were at the Ramble House destroying the... We head to the Hope Spring. We tell everyone we pass

to get to the Longhouse for safety. Yeah, I mean, so... But wait, our orders are not to go to the Hope Spring, we tell everyone we pass to get to the Longhouse for safety. Yeah, I mean, so, but wait, our orders are not to go to the next beacon now. Our orders are to hold the inner city? Right. Curse is like, he's literally ordering me, he's like, I need you to secure the inner quarter as we make our way towards the Hope Spring.

Oh, he's going to the Hope Spring. Yeah, he's going to the Hope Spring mounted, and so we need to kill orcs and send innocents to the Longhouse he's like listen listen we're already under heavy attack the inner corridor may well fall to these raiders if we don't if you don't restore some semblance of order as we navigate through this maze of rubble meanwhile i'll lead a sortie from the town to drive that thing that's throwing boulders at the town closer to the walls so Trunau and Archers can hit it. So, that thing?

I want to ask him what he means by thing. I don't know. There is something I've never seen before. All you see is this giant thing throwing boulders. Like a living thing. That's what I hear. So I'm going to make my way there. Mork's blood is up. He wants to kill a fucking thing. That's what I hear. So I'm going to make my way. I'm going to make my way there. Mork's blood is up. He wants to kill a fucking

giant. In a rare situation of camaraderie between the two, Baron's blood is also way up. They high five. We like killing giants. Strategy wise, this area is designed

as a chokehold to allow citizens to get from one side of the town to the other. And it's designed to be used as a place where enemies can come through and you can wail on them with arrows from above. Look at you. Do we want to maybe get up on the walls? Or what's our strategy here? Well, I can. You all have sweet range. You know, actually, yeah, I can do my rapid shot.

How tall are the walls, Troy? The walls are 20 feet high, perennelated stone walls interspersed with these 30-foot-high guard towers, and they bracket either end of the inner quarter. So I can evil eye from the walls. I can only shoot things, like, right below me. Yeah. And, you know, my best weapon is the spear it's got the reach and it's masterwork but i can take two shots with the

but if the two of us are like on kind of a ground melee slash like brawler level and then galabras and gormley Are on like a higher Ground A parapet Yeah I think we should just Stick together Because then I Then I can use my channels

And We should have Bit of luck And all that shit Yeah yeah Yeah I think I think we should try And you should try

You should use Bit of luck On Lork For the Oh wow Real selfish I'm just saying When he's doing

Two shots in a row It lasts for the whole round So that's You know Double the D20. You should buy Joe a drink later. You should give me some money from your wallet. What are you doing with your 401k right now?

Just think it out loud. So we want to make our way through the town to see if we can figure out. I think we want to make our way through. the town to see yes i think we want to make our way through and pat i mean can we can we possibly investigate the wreckage of morning hawks house and see if yeah let's see if we could pull them out before you know i'll let you know what you see as you're walking through but that would that's the there's like three buildings is it on the way it's like the first building uh on the way so yeah i'd like to see if there's any way can I roll a perception on the fucking rubble and shit? Wait, which rubble?

I don't see anything. Okay, you see. I'm going to look at the Moriarty. Just to give you an idea, so I said when you get through the lift of Portcullis, you guys go through. Am I saying Portcullis right, by the way? Yeah, Portcullis. That's acceptable.

How would you say it? Porticullis. I would say Portcullis. portcullis right by the way yeah portcullis that's acceptable how would you say porticallis i would say portcullis portcullis yeah but i might be wrong say trebuchet and portcullis trebuchet portcullis and say room and uh run run run all right all right so you guys start making your way through yeah Yeah, I don't mean to be selfish because we know them, but we don't see any orcs attacking Innocence at this moment in the inner quarter, right? From where you're standing, no. There's a barricade that's been built up. All right, so we'd like to move through the barricade. All right, well, just let me let you know what's happening in front of the barricade.

Just to give you an idea, I said that there were medics and whatnot, so it's acolytes. Galabras, you recognize some of them from the sanctuary. So there are some acolytes from the sanctuary. The other ones you would assume is probably from the Trunau Counting House, from your old buddy Michael Madsen's place. They've set up a small medical station behind the barricade, and the clerics are busily tending to injured militia members, townsfolk.

They have no time to talk to you guys, other than to tell you if militia members, townsfolk. They have no time to talk to you guys, other than to tell you if you find any injured townsfolk, they should bring the wounded here and send the rest to the longhouse, like I said before. The barricade is three feet high and about five feet

wide. So the barricade is barricading what? Once you get in through the southern gate, it barricades the passageway through the inner quarter? Right, to get into the upper quarter. So they built this quick line of defense. It's not great, but it's enough to kind of slow it down. Actually, if we were moving in real time, it would take you double movement to get over the barricade.

But it also provides you with cover if you ever need to fight behind a barricade. Maybe that'll come in handy later. So you guys are making your way to the Stagenstar household. Yeah. So you guys walk up and the house is in shambles. And you know what's so weird is you were just here

a couple days ago. Trezor was here, wasn't he? Or no, he was at Clamor. Yes, he was at Clamor, but you went to visit a great member and to ask her We went to the House of Wonders. That's on her house. Oh, that wasn't he? Or no, he was at Clamor. Yes, he was at Clamor, but you went to visit a great member and to ask her We went to the House of Wonders. That's on her house. Oh, that wasn't her house. That's her business. No, she works out of her house. Oh, shit. Yeah, yeah, she's got like a separate little shop

destroyed. Her business is over. So you guys were here and then she took you there. So you have a previous relationship with her as well. You get there and just these huge long flames lick the walls of this nice house compared to most of the other houses in the area. Burning beams crumble to the ground beneath the weight of the sagging roof. Through the front entrance, though the front entrance remains accessible for now,

these flames rage beyond control, threatening the lives of any residents that might be trapped inside. Gormley's going to walk straight up to the door and open the door. Okay, door falls off its hinges, and you see a greet like frantically in the room panicking. Help, help! Greet, greet, come out of the house before it collapses.

I can't, I can't leave her! Where is she, where is she? She's here. She's trapped. With those biceps, she's trapped? I turn to Galabras and I say. This is not the time. This is not the time to insult her workout ethics.

I'm admirable. I say to Galabras, I want to know, have you ever seen the rain? Oh, God. All right. Lork is going to run into the house. So is Gormley. Try to put the fire out. Gormley feels a certain kinship with Sarah Morninghawk and Ygritte

over the course of their weird interactions. Oh, interesting. As you enter the house, you find Ygritte desperately trying to free Sarah, who's trapped beneath a fallen beam. Yeah. Is the beam itself on fire? No. Okay. But Galabras roll a healing check.

21. It appears that Sarah is unconscious and dying. All right. Let me just give you a couple more flavor and I'll let you take action. She looks like the life is fading out of her eyes and that explains why she can't move the beam. Just as you guys walk in,

three orcs come up behind you. And hell is about to break loose. My favorite encounter I've ever read. Roll for initiative. Oh, shit. Okay. I was not expecting an initiative roll right there.

No one expects an initiative roll. 24 for Gormley. Oh, there you go. Quick witch. She is affected witch. She is loyal to the agility patron. Gorbly got a 21. 24. Excuse me, 24.

Anybody else in the 20s? Nope. 19 or so? Nope. All right, 18? All right, what do you got, Baron? 11. 11 for Lork as well.

Who's higher? Five bonus. Okay, and Galapagos. One. Oh, man. Are you shitting me? Do you have a negative four? What's the matter with you, man?

I rolled a one again. What's the matter with you? It was like the fifth one I've rolled for initiative. Okay, so let me give you a little sense of how this is going to play out. You guys walk in. You see a great, trying-to-free Sarah. Meanwhile, three, one, two, three

orcs enter what's left of the house and the broken door behind you. They are within 15 feet of you. This house is not long for the world. I'd say it has a certain number of rounds left before

it collapses. To free Sarah requires the strength of at least two of you and agreed together. I'm going in. Meanwhile, she is also dying. And to add. Meanwhile, she is also dying. And

to add to this, it is Smoke City in here. So everyone has concealment. Like 20% concealment? 20% concealment. You can't see anything in front of you. How do you act it out,

Skid? How does that function? With the noob corner. Skid, why don't you tell us about the mechanics of concealment? Concealment represents a percentage chance that you will miss even a competently struck attack. So every time you roll to attack, if you make it, you roll percentile dice, 100-sided dice, or 210-sided dice. percentile dice, 100-sided dice, or 210-sided dice, and if your total on the 100-sided dice is over 20, you succeed in the attack.

If it's 20 or below, you miss anyway, even if you defeat it. Yeah, and this is on an attack you already succeeded. Right. You still roll, and if you roll 20 or lower, you still fail an attack you succeeded on the D20. It's ridiculously frustrating. Yes, very frustrating. Okay, it is Gormley's turn.

So there are three orcs standing in the doorway? Yes. And what are they armed with? What do they look like? I'm sorry I'm so distracted because while you're talking everyone else is like forming a battle plane. Yeah, we have to, man. There's a lot of hand signals going on right now.

We're miming. It's just so funny to see. I was trying to cover it, Troy. Wait, what was the question? What am I looking at? These three orcs, what are they armed with? What are they, you know? They seem to be armed with falchions. Falchions, eh? It's possible one of them

has something that he's ready to throw. All right. The one that has something ready to throw, Gormley is going to Evil Eye right off the bat. Okay. Now, does concealment apply to Evil Eye? No. Nope. It's not an attack roll of any kind.

It's just too legit. Concealment only applies to attack rolls. This is not an attack roll. It's a magical effect. Right. The guy, he just gets a will save. And Gormley's eyes are real fucked up. Yeah. All right. She's not an attack roll. It's a magical effect. He just gets a will save. And Gormley's eyes are real fucked up. Alright, she's scary to look at.

What is the save? DC14 will save. I'll throw this out there just to metagame a little bit. Orcs have a negative will save. Wow! So you have to roll really well to pass it. 70. Oh!

So for one round that orc's attack roll So you have to roll really well to pass it. 70. Oh, jerk. All right, so for one round, that orc's attack roll takes a minus two. All right, I like it. Did Troy just brag at how good he is at rolling? Yep, basically. It was more. No, he said that they are terrible at will saves, but he personally is awesome. Great of them.

So I'm just checking, But hexes are a move action All of them? No they're a standard action Standard action unless Cackle is a move action Cackle is a move action Alright so I So

Gormley will evil eye The one that was going to Throw something And then she'll cackle To extend that for two rounds Okay so that goes for Three rounds Get the fire going No extend it to two rounds So two rounds Every time I cackle I extend it for two rounds. Okay, so that goes for three rounds. Get the fire going.

No, extend it to two rounds. So two rounds. Every time I cackle, I extend it for a round. Okay, so it lasts this round and next round. And next round, yes. I lied to you earlier. The beam is on fire. That's on top of Sarah Mornigoff.

Because, of course. Because why not? I assumed it would be when I asked. It's also invisible and incorporeal. But somehow it's holding her down. And a shadow. You touch it and you take two strength damage. Awesome.

It's like the invisible lava in your house when you were a child. All right. The first orc steps up and attacks Lork. Explain it. He rushes up and swings his. Oh, melee. Then I attack of opportunity. Go for it. Because Ies up and swings his voucher. Oh, melee. Then I attack of opportunity. Go for it.

Because I have reach. They can't see. They just come running in. Yeah, okay. Natural 19. I mean, that's going to be a hit. It's 25. It's definitely going to be a hit.

Roll concealment. Oh, concealment. Oh, concealment. I forgot about it already. Here we go. 73% made it. Hit. And then damage.

Seven damage. Seven damage. All right. And then it attacks Lork. Lork. And misses. All right. The second one.

How much damage did you deal, Lork, right in here? Seven. Sorry, I was most paying attention. The second one sees this and thinks, Neither of these are the ones I'd be evil on. Thinks better of closing quickly. Right, doesn't realize that Lork can't make two air attacks. He doesn't know how to do this.

Combat reflexes. So he comes up and attacks Gormley. Uh-oh. Didn't mean to do that to you, Gorms. And hits. Oh. Okay. Well, you tell me, 19?

Yes. I didn't know. I really didn't know. You did know. I wasn't being cold. I don't want to be a dick. I should have cast Mage Armor when I walked into the house, and I never did, so yes, it hits.

Joe is very upset with me right now. Just discussed. We just talked about this. Mage armor. Just cast it. Well, I was like, this is going to be a long battle. I should wait until I see orcs. Swings its falchion.

It hits you for nine points. That's the thing, man. The falchion's brutal. Orc number three, that was the one that you evil-eyed, with its minus two to attack, flings a javelin at Baron. Are you rolling the percentage for these? Oh, I didn't roll the percentage for the hit on you. Oh, right, right, right.

Thank you for reminding me. Concealment for the hit on Baron. 62, right, right, right. Thank you for reminding me. Concealment for the hit on Baron. 62, yeah, it hits. Okay. And it misses Baron, I'm assuming. Yeah, yeah. 14. Yeah, yeah.

Nice, Baron. So the javelin just flies by. And it is. It's a little too high. And now everybody roll a fortitude save. Nope. Nope. Oh, because it's smoke.

I was going to put some wet cloth over my mouth before we got in here. 18. 19. 15 for Gormley. 20 even. Okay. You're all... All right.

You're not choking yet. Gormley, what did you roll? 15. Oh, great. Okay. Baron. Baron is going to draw down his pistol on, well, he's going to make a slight of hand motion to pretend like he's pulling for his axe. And then at the last minute, he's going to swiftly pull into his duster, pull his pistol out and point it at the nearest orc

and fire up close and deadly at him. Fire when ready. So which orc is this? Not the one that was throwing and not in melee combat with orc and Gorm. We'll answer that question in one second. I'm pretty sure he just critical fumbled.

No. Eight. Eight misses. But which one were you aiming at? The javelin one? Whichever one was closest. That was the one that threw the javelin at you. Okay. Lork the Orc. Well, I got this guy in melee range. The one that you just crushed?

Yeah. How far am I from Sarah? Am I a five foot step from Sarah? Am I more than that? You've got to save her. Yeah, you're right on top of her. Like you're, yeah, you're within five feet. Okay, then I'm going to I a five foot step from Sarah? Am I more than that? You've got to save her. Yeah, you're right on top of her. Like you're, yeah, you're within five feet. Okay, then I'm going to take a five foot step away from this guy so I don't provoke. And I'm going to try to lift the... All right, so you and a greet just need one more person and the beam will come off. All right, so hold on a second.

If it's impossible for me to do this round, why wouldn't I attack and then take a five foot step? Because everyone's got to be in position. It's like six seconds of turn. Basically, you're committing your action to helping. Okay, so I'm just going to stand there while this guy comes up next to me and just hacks me to pieces. Can anyone else get there?

Is anyone else in reasonable range? Everyone was in with rage of the beam that Sarah is on. Okay, so then I'll step to the beam and get ready to lift it. Okay. So you and Agreed are like, ah, trying to get it off. You just need one more person. Galabras.

Okay. Well, since the beam is on fire, Sarah is trapped under, I'm going to pay Credence to grant suggestion and create some clear water and revive her. Revival. Ooh. Oh, God. Oh, Skid and I

are fist pounding right now. Oh, man. Oh, boy. No, I'm actually going to help. Boo. Boo.

I was going to say, so you're going to lift the beam. Okay, so Galabras gets on there as well. Fuck you, Skid. I lost the battle method. Along with Lork

and you and you free Sarah. Oh, awesome. And she lays there, still unconscious and dying. You see her spitting up blood. And it's Gormley's turn. Come on, Gormley. Gormley's going to cast Burning Hands on the orc who's in there.

It's already on fire. It's already on fire. Fuck it. Give me fuel. Give me fire. It's a DC 14. Reflex. Ref me fuel. Give me fire. It's a DC-14. Reflex. Reflex save.

No concealment. It doesn't matter. It's about reflux. It doesn't matter. Okay. It's not targeted. DC-14 will... This catches all of them, right?

Anybody in range, it says. Fire damage to any creature. The three of them are all packed in, right? Well, one came rushing at you, so there's two still standing back. So you can either hit the one, aim for the one that hit Joe, or aim for the two that are still back at the door.

Well, there's one that's in melee combat with me that just dealt nine points of damage to me, right? Oh, he stepped up. That's right. Okay, so there's only one. The one that you evil-eyed, he's back. So you can hit the one that Joe, excuse me, that Lork attacked, and the one that attacked you. Great. Yeah, I did damage to one of them.

Okay, and what's the save? DC 14 reflex, right? All right. The first one succeeds. The second one fails. All right. So it's 2D4. Anyone have a D4 they can lend me?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gotcha right here, brother. All right, so it's four points of damage. All right. The one in front of Joe Falls to the ground Yes, thank you I just see him frothing at the mouth Oh, ferocity

Org ferocity These fucks I'll put him out of his misery There's one that's with me that's still He's still up Alright, so I'm going to... I'm going to full withdraw towards... You can't full withdraw and cast a spell.

That's why I pulled... Okay, so then I'll take a five-foot step towards Sarah and Ko. Okay. And Ko. Yeah. Well, hold on. And after...

So I'm assuming that I readied an action basically to lift this thing off. When Calabros got up, we were able to lift it off. Yeah, correct. So now I have my spear ready. Like if this Orc Ferocity guy comes at me, I can attack of opportunity if he comes at me, right? Yeah, we'll say that. And if I'm five foot stepping towards them, I'm in the sphere of protection of your spear.

Right. Right. But this thing is five feet away from you. The spear of protection? Okay. Yeah. So he's right next to you. Right. But if another one comes running up at you, you're... But he's... Okay. Right. But this thing is five feet away from you. The one that just fell to the ground. The spear of protection? Okay. Yeah. So he's right next to you. Right, but if another one comes running up at you, you're ready to go.

So the one that just fell to the ground from the ground, what is it, a minus two to attack when you're attacking from the ground? Minus four. Minus four. All right, so he swings his falchion out at you. 18. Hit. Hit. Exactly.

My new armor and everything. I thought you had a 19. It was 18. I miscalculated. Concealment. Oh, stop. Mr. Concealment. 87.

Shit. This. You thought he was dead, but he isn't. Nine points of damage. Oh, Jesus Jesus it's brutal brutal and then the one the other one

that got hit by burning hands you said there was four points of damage right yeah and hold on a second Troy he I think he falls unconscious after that like I think

or ferocity lets you act normally for one round and then you fall unconscious I'm pretty sure or you become disabled or whatever. He's in rough shape.

Also, are they not both on fire now? No, they don't. Burning hands is like one-time damage. There are some fire attacks where it'll say, like the Tanglefoot burn thing, you roll that reflex save and then you catch on fire. It's like putting your hand too close to the stove. Now that guy that you just burnt, he attacks you with his falchion, Gormley, and hits.

Concealment? Ah, thank you. 66. All right. Uh-oh. 22 damage. Eight points of damage. Gormley is unconscious.

Fuck. Gormley down. We got a Gormley down! And then the other one, again, he steps up to Baron and attacks with his falchion. Ooh, critical threat. Oh, 18 to 20, that's right, on a falchion. Not confirmed. I got nervous. Concealment, concealment.

Here comes concealment. 98. Jesus. Oh my gangbusters. Hits Baron for 12 points of damage. What the fuck? Okay, now it's, I was gonna say it's Aaron's turn, but I erased the B. No wonder I wanted to get that falchion that we got. Jesus.

Oh, everybody roll a fortitude save. Gormley's at negative one. What is that? It means you're unconscious and dying. So do I still roll the fortitude save? That's my question. No, you don't have to roll it. There we go.

Oh, well. 17. 15. You didn't. go. Oh, well. 17. 15. You didn't. Fuck. 20, 25. Wait, he didn't do a 15? I thought he rolled a 15 before. He rolled a 15 before. It increases every round. By what?

So, Lork. So, Baron and for a second I just forgot we were recording a podcast, so they were just playing Pathfinder. I was like, oh, I forgot. You didn't know from the sound effects in your headphones? So intense.

I've been drinking. All right, so basically Baron and Galabras cover their mouths, and Lork is too wrapped up in all this. You start choking and coughing, and that's all you can do for this round. So can we recap the situation right now? Sure! Where are we? What's going on in this room? Alright, so you've got basically

Gormley, Lork, Galabras, and Baron all lined up. Behind them is Agreet and Sarah. You've lifted the beam off of them. On the other side... And Gormley is on the other side and Gormley is on the ground unconscious Gormley is on the crown on the ground unconscious and the work is coughing and choking from the smoke meanwhile there's an orc uh that is uh dead on the ground that just

struck out and attacked and hit uh I think hit lork or didn't hit lork but it's was still kicking even after it went down there's one one that you hit pretty bad with burning hands that just did enough damage to you to knock you unconscious. And then there's one that was throwing the javelins and missed Baron and then attacked Baron and hit him pretty hard that has yet to be touched. And what weapon is he wielding? He threw a javelin, and now he's attacking with a falchion. Is there any type of check I can do?

Either is there a knowledge check or is any part of this structure stoned where a dwarf could look at it and tell how long it has before it collapses? The house is mainly made out of wood, but you could do a perception check to kind of add a add a, we'll give you a two-point bonus since there is some part of the house that's made out of stone. 29. You would say this house is going to collapse in anywhere from eight to ten rounds.

Okay. Maybe less, but probably not much more less. So Sarah is unconscious still. She's unconscious and dying. Would this be a good time to channel positive energy? That was my plan. Sorry. Spoilers!

Again, let's not play each other's characters. Fair enough, fair enough. Lork is choking and coughing. Is it Baron's turn? It is. Oh, I'm sorry, you didn't go yet. Yeah, I didn't go yet. Huffing.

Is it Baron's turn? It is. Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, I didn't go yet. So the nearest orc to me that is currently not supine, that is standing. Yes. I would like to shoot up close and deadly. Okay.

Fire away. He just showed us a picture of this orc. He's ugly. Hey, yeah. Rolled a 19. That would be a hit. Is that crit or no? No. Total.

I got to do 20. Oh. Nine points of damage. There you go. He falls to the ground. Yeah. Fuck. That was the javelin guy or the non-javelin guy?

That was the javelin guy. Okay. So he was the one who hadn't been touched yet. Javelin man. Javelin man or the non-javelin guy? That was the javelin guy. Okay. So he was the one who hadn't been touched yet. Javelin man, javelin man. He goes down, but you know that he's not. He's still got a little fight left in him. All right.

Round three. Javelin guy is no longer hexed. I didn't go. Oh, I'm sorry, Galabras, please. I got so excited. I thought Gormley did your mover. Sorry. Sorry, Skid.

Bad form. I am going to, as Gormley suggested, channel positive energy. I also have a feat, selective channeling. Ordinarily, if you channel positive energy, it indiscriminately targets everyone in range. But I have selective channeling so I can exclude targets that I don't want to benefit from it. So I'm going to exclude the orcs and benefit

my friends. You're so exclusionary. And I'm going to roll a six. Maximum healing for everyone involved and that should also revive Sarah Morninghawk. And you see Sarah who was not far away from death. Completely revived. And she seems to be okay.

And Gormley is awake again as well. Does she have a blacksmith hammer nearby so she can get in the fucking fight? She has one hit point. She does have massive biceps. She is. She's played by Serena Williams. All right, round three. Give her a tennis racket.

Gormley, you are now. Let's go to town on these guys. I think that, did that heal you enough to wake you up? I'm up. All right. So you are laying down, but you are awake. One quick question. Yes.

I reduced the character that is still frothing to zero or fewer hit points with my hit, right? Correct. That is a grip point. Oh, so it doesn't have to The org ferocity doesn't matter No, it's just if I make it 0 or fewer Awesome That is known as rules as written

Yeah As opposed to two rules So there's one org currently standing There is one org currently standing The one that Mama said knocked you out Mama said knocked me out Okay, I'm going to evil eye that. Yeah, that's an awesome thing.

You just do that from the ground. It doesn't make a difference. Okay, and that orc with its terrible will save failed. That's to its AC, by the way. Okay, and so what is minus what to its AC? Minus two for six rounds. Oh, okay. Minus two for six rounds.

Oh, okay. And then just for good measure, Gormley will cackle to extend it to seven. Okay. This is also like a fight in hockey. It's just to get the general morale of the room up. Yeah. Good analogy. He senses this. Lork's morale is in the toilet.

Hockey, America's number one sport. Don't shit on hockey. This very unintelligible orc just feels all messed up, and he swings his falchion down at you while you're laying on the ground. Oh, dude, that's bad. All right. Critical threat. Dead.

That's actual death. I'm alive. I'm. Critical threat. Dead. That's actual death. I'm alive. I'm alive. No. 15. Mage armor. Would have saved your life. Your character's dead.

I admit, it is a hit. I have a 14 AC. Oh, boy. So double damage while you only have, like, two hit points. What? Five hit points. Oh, that's awesome. 92 points of damage.

So this is a critical. Just like we roll criticals, 20 to confirm. Troy confirmed a critical again. Concealment? Concealment? Concealment. Concealment. Concealment.

Please miss. Please miss. Please miss. It was 26 points of damage, and I rolled a 19. Get the fuck out of here. You are not lying to us, are you? Nope. Yeah, you're not just like gaming it to make us feel bad. I'll show it to you, but.

Fucking God. 26. 26. You would have been dead ever. I would have it to you, but... Fucking God. 26. 26. That would have... You would have been dead ever. I would have been dead. I would have been dead, dead. And then you would have felt dumb about not sending Howie into battle.

Yeah. Or casting fucking Mage Armor. Oh, my God. You literally rolled a 19 concealment. I'm looking at the numbers, and I'm like... Yeah, I definitely rolled a 19 concealment, but I'm looking at the numbers, and I'm thinking, like, all right, I got to kill him.

It's got to be permadeath. How can I fudge this? Oh my god, I have butterflies in my stomach. 26 damage. But he missed and did no damage instead. Holy shit. She was meant to live. At least for a day.

That was a big moment for the podcast. Meanwhile, the guy on the ground With his orc ferocity Attacks Baron And critical threat On Baron Come on I'm not even joking

And confirmed it With a 20 Oh Jesus Concealment Ah concealment Succeeded. Concealment with a 31. Oh, jeez.

What is it? 2d4? Plus something? Plus something. 14 points of damage. Unconscious. No kidding. What are you at now?

Negative one. Okay. Oh, boy. Oh, my God. That was a temporary goddamn combat. We're dead. Can we kill this guy and get out of the burning house? I can't.

I'm coughing. I can't do anything. Oh, by the way, this is so brutal. Everybody will. It's a lot of shut up. Nope.

Nope. Nope. Failed. 16. You're unconscious. Okay. Gormley, are you awake? Yeah. 14. So it fails. Failed. 16. You're unconscious. Okay. Gormley, are you awake? Yeah, 14, so it fails. Oh boy, so everybody failed.

Okay, so everyone's choking. Where are we at until we have... Baron's unconscious. Lork is still choking. Galabras, you've begun choking. Gormley is now choking. Two of the orcs are dead. But there's one,

the one that you Burning Handsed on, and Evil-Eyed, the one that almost just killed you, is the only orc that's still alive. And now it's a new round, and you see like, a chunk of the house just fell right next to your face. And it's Gormley's turn.

Have I hit the orc that's awake now? You haven't, but he hit it with burning hands. Hold on a second. And I can't, like, I'm choking, but I can't withdraw? I can't just run out of the house and get clear air? It says your turn is taking up by choking and coughing. Okay. I mean, if it says there's no move action, then that's fine.

Yeah, I looked up a couple different places, and I was like, wow, that's pretty brutal. Yeah. It's also a pretty high save for a level two character. It keeps going up every round. Yeah, it's hard to get. That's hard to get. I mean, I need to roll pretty fucking high to get it. Chunk of ceiling falls out next to Gormley.

The other two are definitely dead now, and this one living orc lays. And I'm coughing. And you are coughing. So what does that limit my ability to do anything? No, it's a new round. Oh, it's a new round, so I'm not coughing anymore. Oh, shit.

By the way, lork, you take two points of non-lethal damage for failing twice in a row. Gormley's going to have to full withdraw. Can I full withdraw to the other side of the room? I mean, is the room big enough to do that? You can full withdraw to fresh air so you don't have to roll that fortitude save. And then you can probably, like,

evil eye in from the outside. All right, that's what I'm going to do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just going to die if I stay here. Okay. I'm not going to attempt fate. Seriously, you're going to die. The one remaining orc runs at Lork.

Lork gets an attack of opportunity. He's choking and stuff, right? Well, no, it's a new round. That was, you lost your turn last round. Oh, so, okay. So I didn't Alright, so if I would have saved You've lost two turns. Got it, got it, got it. You know what? I'm pretty desperate. I don't like

the situation. Bottlecap! I'm gonna turn in my bottlecap. Can you tell us about the bottlecaps again? Bottlecap gives I'm going to turn in my bottle cap. Can you tell us about the bottle caps again? Bottle cap gives the character advantage, whereas they get to roll two 20-sided dice and take the better of the two rolls.

So when we were in the plague house, Gormley almost fell in, and I rolled like a crazy high reflex save to save her from dropping. I grabbed her. Troy gave me a bottle cap for it. I'm turning it in now to roll a d20 twice and take

the higher result to attack this guy and try to put him out before he can attack me. Didn't need it. First roll, 25. You should always roll twice. You might get a critical. Oh, yeah. I might. I rolled a 19 and an 18.

Oh, fucking awesome. Alright. Roll for damage. Seven damage. Seven damage. Okay. With its last fighting breath. It strikes out with its falchion to lork. Oh, wait, wait, wait.

I got to roll concealment, right? You do. Even though it's an attack of opportunity. Attack of opportunity, you do. Sorry. 85. All right. We're good. And it failed.

I rolled a 17. Yeah! All right. So, somebody can coup de grace at will. It is Baron's. Oh, Baron is still unconscious. All right. Oh, wait.

Sorry, bud. Didn't mean to celebrate. Everybody do your fortune save one more time. Except Baron. And Gorm Oh, wait. Sorry, bud. Didn't mean to celebrate. Everybody do your fortune save one more time. Except Baron. And Gormley, because she's out of the house. And Gormley's out of the house. 92. Failed again.

Lord failed again. So they're coughing, coughing away. Baron's still dying. And Gormley's outside the house with this one orc that just needs to be put out of its misery. And she's going to draw a crossbow and shoot. Oh, I would love this. You see like pieces of the building first falling. Would you say within 30 feet?

Yeah, and it's laying down on the ground, so I don't know if that counts as being in. Minus four. It is minus four. Wait, why is it laying down? I thought prone characters got bonuses to ranged attacks. Oh, I put him. You put him down. He attacked

below zero? Yeah, he attacked with Orc Ferocity and missed on the concealment. And so now he's just Oh, no, no, he's done then. He's done. He's dead? Yeah, he's unconscious and dying. Like, Orc Ferocity is you get one round to act normally, but then you

fall unconscious and start dying. Which means that he wouldn't be much of a target for him. He looks like he's unconscious. So basically, Gormley's calling a retreat. Okay, just roll the crossbow because it was kind of dramatic and I'd like to see it. Yeah, I thought the guy was still up, which is why I loved the crossbow shot.

You knocked him out. Ooh! 24. Ooh! So Gormley shoots it and kills the orc! Gormley did it! Pieces of the building are falling. Shhh! Get the fuck out! Baron's unconscious and dying. Sarah Mourninghawk. I'll pick

Baron up. Lork will pick Baron up and run him out of there. Lork, alright, roll a streak check. And I run him out of there. Strength check, strength check. Just for flavor. Just go roll a level 8. Mark, all right, roll a strength check. And I run him out of there. Strength check, strength check. Just for flavor. Just don't roll a white. Oh, awesome. 19. You take out this.

Yeah! You'll have to tell him when he wakes up that you saved his life. I might not even tell. And you bring him to safety. 165 pounds. Galabras, are you helping agree and get Sarah out of there? Yeah, and I'm going to channel him.

Oh, yeah. It rolls so pleasantly high on that. Two more points for everybody. All right. a channel oh yeah it rolls so pleasantly huh two more points for everybody all right and you guys just Galabras just gets Sarah out of there with a greet and they collapse to the ground as the entire facade collapses and you just see like a dead orcs hand laying amidst the

rubble with with my with my newly gained breath from that positive, channel positive energy, Baron says, You wake up on Lork's back, buddy. I say, you're all right, partner. I set him down. I'm like, you did good. You did good. You guys look and you see this building is collapsed

And you see the orcs hand laying there And then you turn around And just see hellfire And brimstone And hear the sound of beating drums And then far off in the distance You see some sort of creature That you've never seen before

And next time the battle continues That's it? That's it baby God damn it. Motherfucker, fuck. I hate ending. Ending. Classic.

I hate it. I'll end you. I'll end you, Troy. I'll end you. Outro Music