The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 128 - Slag! You're it!

Episode Date: November 7, 2017

With the ritual to relight Minderhal's Forge complete, Etena turns her attention to the heroes, demanding that they hand over Agrimmosh, the Hammer of Unmaking. Claiming to no longer have it, the party must face the wrath of Etena as well as the ancient guardians of the forge. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

For just $4.99, you can get a Subway 6-inch Black Forest ham sub made with our new fresh-sliced deli. But the fresh slicing doesn't stop at beautiful Black Forest ham. We're talking tantalizing turkey, perfectly piled pepperoni, sensationally sliced salami. So you can lunch legendary, dinner deliciously, breakfast brilliantly. We're talking friggin' fresh slicing and I'm yelling yes way! Get a 6-inch Black Forest ham for only $4.99. Only at Subway. Price and participation may vary. Extras, taxes, and delivery additional. Expires April 8th.

This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast, Atena turns on the heroes. In this corner, hailing out of the forge heart, Atena. And her two slag pals. In the other corner, certain death.

And unleashes the power of the forge upon them. This monstrosity of molten lava that just has blades shooting out of it and then being melted by the lava seconds later. Nestor, cut off from the party, will attempt a desperate gambit. Nestor Coyne. Nestor Coyne! Nestor Coyne is going to try something that he has never had the opportunity yet to do. I like it. And Pembroke finally gets into the fight.

Pembroke is going to move closer to the altar and begin casting a spell. All right, baby. But it may be too late. What? What? What? What? What is that?

The adventure continues. No! You cursed creature! No. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another episode of the Glass Cannon Podcast. It's your boy, Grant Berger, a.k.a. aka baron ashpeak boy did it feel good to finally blow that horn but there have been so many consequences along the way and there's so much more to happen which is why i'm going to keep this intro relatively brief but i have to first thank everyone new faces and old who showed up on the Twitch stream to support the Glass Cannon podcast as we in turn supported Extra Life, a charity from which the proceeds go to benefit Children's Miracle Network hospitals across the country.

It's awesome. Everyone who who spread the word and and donated. I just have to say thank you so much. I'm just so very grateful to you guys and proud of you guys, and I hope next year we can do it again and help even more people out. But November doesn't stop there. It has been a very busy month for the Glass Cannon podcast, and a little over a week, we are headed to Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, where I will personally be fighting Carson Wentz at the Lowdown Bar. Okay, maybe that won't happen,

but we will be playing Pathfinder and meeting and greeting you guys out there. And I'm going to let more of the details come out in next week's episode, which will immediately precede our journey. But just let it be known that we are out there to rep Pathfinder and have a good time and see you all. And without further ado, for your listening pleasure, episode 128, Slag, you're it. Bing,

bing, bing, bing. It's time. 14 rounds in the GCP heavyweight division. In this corner, hailing out of the four-chart, Etina. And her two slag pals.

In the other corner, certain death. In the other corner, a group of guys that literally just got out of a fight. Two fights. Two fights. One, you know, the balcony fight, and then a dragon fight? Oh yeah, just a little dragon fight. We were already

tired before that. Couldn't have been rest before that happened. You should have just given her the hammer. Let's be honest. You should have given her the hammer, this could have all been avoided. Believe me, I was for it. We're trying to engineer that very happenstance. We haven't had the hammer for like 70 episodes and we've been fine.

Yeah, for an all-seeing oracle. She's kind of an idiot. Yeah. Can we all just agree that it's Sir Will's fault for not lighting the forge? Yeah, 100%. 100% Sir Will's fault. Oh, my God. Of course, Will's fault. Oh my god. Of course, Baron did draw a gun on her.

There is that minor detail. I find that people respond very well when you do that in the real world. So I just thought. It's true. Whom grants personal experiences in Texas. It does establish authority right off the bat. It gives you leverage.

Yeah. The atmosphere has totally shifted now. I have a gun. I'm sorry. Is my gun scaring you? That's you. I, that's not my problem.

You're afraid. Yeah. I, that's, I can't control your feelings. Precisely. Well, she got fired up.

Yeah. I mean, she, she wants that hammer. She says she sensed its presence ever since you lied to her face and said you didn't have it. Right. Wants the hammer. You guys refuse to do it.

On top of that, Sir Will, Baron, and Umlo refuse to light the forge. And she says, all right. She even tells Farron, don't stick up for them. You don't know. You don't know what's going on. You're never going to be the forge keeper. I'm going to be the forge keeper. Yeah.

She got all crazy with greed. I've got centuries to go. And now she's forced to kill you. You've forced her hand. I love how you really have gotten so in the mind of this character that you don't see how like incredibly evil this is. I don't know what you're talking about.

If I can't see it's because I'm so in the character, I am also blind. You know what we haven't done in a few episodes? What's that, Troy? Rest. A little bit of a flashback. Oh, no. I feel like we haven't done one in a while. The last one we did was four episodes ago, I think.

It was last week. Shut up, Joe. We took a look into the mind of one Nestor coin. We saw a little into the mind of one Nestor Coyne. We saw a little, and by we, Nestor just was thinking about this moment, his mother burning at the stake. The next week, we get a little vision of Della running back towards her father,

away from her mother. Then we see Sir Will being told by his adoptive father, clearly to his mother's dismay, that he was being sent to a special school for halflings. And then Baron doing something to his parents. That was messed up. Stealing the gun that we now know its father stole as well. So I want you just to jump in the imagination sphere

with me, if you will. Never gets old. And imagine off in the distance you see a hydra snapping its neck. Winds its way back through the moshy swamp land like it heard something. And it's just going back to its home.

In the foreground, you see Ingrahild Nargrimkin and her brother Umlo hiding in some bushes, having clearly just narrowly avoided certain death. They continue on. Something doesn't seem right about this, Ingrahild says. Why would a tomb to our ancestors be located in this beaded swamp? Why don't we turn back, Ingra? We've narrowly escaped death more times than I can count. Let's just go home. This is why I retired from adventuring. No, brother. We must stick this out to the end. We must.

She stops suddenly. Did you hear that? Hear what? Sounds like... like chanting. Follow me, quietly. They move forward into the brush, and the chanting gets louder and louder,

until up ahead, they come upon three withered old hags performing some horrible ritual with dead animals, you hope. Ingra leans forward to try and understand what they're saying, and then all of a sudden, there's a sound behind them

as a huge marsh giant rushes towards them spear in hand just just as it's about to stab straight through umlo's head ingrahild steps up blocks it and returns with a volley of blows that staggers the marsh giant he's taken aback by now of course the hags have noticed them and ingra charges from the brush at them before they have a chance to react umlo momentarily stunned by all that's going on follows quickly behind ingrahild makes short work of the first tag before it can even react just raining down blows with an axe in each hand boom takes down the first tag she lowers her guard though and another one comes rushing up behind her and

claws at her back she screams out in pain umlo gets there as Ingra Hill is just like, and he just smashes that hag on the back of the head with a mithril skillet. This provides just enough of an opening for Ingra Hill to finish the hag off with just a flurry of axe blows. Two-weapon fighting. As she lands the killing blow,

she buckles to the ground, clutching at the claw wound from the second hag. It's in that moment that Umlo sees the marsh giant recovering and runs and stands up to protect his sister. Ingra, are you okay? Ingra! He turns around and sees Ingra Hild standing right next to him. But in her eyes, she appears completely lost. She winds out and swings her axe at Umla. Whoa! Hitting him right under

the ribs, and then just runs off into the brush, babbling incoherently. The last thing Umla sees before he blacks out is a third green hag coming up to him, waving her hands in a strange, deliberate motion,

and he loses consciousness. Flash forward days later, and Umlo awakens in the back of a wagon being pulled by orcs with a giant in command. He's really groggy. He looks up and sees that they're moving along a river, and it seems as if the river ends at a large fort in the distance on a hill.

He passes out again. The sound of bears growling is the only thing that's louder than the sounds of dozens upon dozens of orcs cheering maniacally as Umlo meagerly attempts to defend himself against two dire bears, but with nothing but his stupid skillet. He swings at one, and the other one gashes him across the back. He turns around, swings at the other one, and one latches onto his leg with its mouth, and he's just screaming in pain, right as he's about to just lose consciousness and totally full-out die. Two orcs come out, bait the bears away back to their cages, as Umlo's lifeless body is dragged back towards the Barbican. Amlo awakens in a tent and sees a female orc

staring into the mists created by what looks like a boiling pot. She looks over at him. You're awake. Good. Amlo tries to move, but his leg is killing him. He winces in pain. Don't try to move. Just rest.

Just rest for now. Who are you? My name is Druja. I am in many ways a prisoner here as well. But you are safe for now, and you must rest. What were you looking at over there? You seemed lost in those fumes. Well, I was looking at you, actually.

What do you mean? I am an oracle. I can see things in the mists. Sometimes they come true, but the mists are not always clear. What did you see of me? Am I to die here? Droja leans in very carefully and rests her hand on Umlo's good leg. No, Umlo, I don't believe so. In fact, I believe we are both to be saved very soon. My sister, did you see her? Is she still alive? Troja looks down at the ground for a moment. I have seen her, yes, and I believe you will be reunited soon.

Tears comes to Umno's eyes at just the prospect of his sister still being alive and just overcome by the whole situation. Droja looks around. You must listen to me, Umno. You will see your sister again, and you will be saved from this torturer as well. This I believe. But I also see great pain in your future. If the mists are true, you will come into great power someday,

but also lose everything in the process. Your saviors will come to see you not as a man, but as a tool to be used and then discarded when you no longer prove useful. Whatever happens to you, Umlo, you must find your faith.

You must seek a center so you do not lose yourself in the battles to come. I don't understand how can you know all this. There's just one more thing, Umlo. I see a cathedral. And I say, all right, Druja, you got them all healed up? Two orcs walk in and just grab Umlo and start dragging him up, presumably back to the bear pits.

Oh, and, uh, Karguk would like to see you in his tent. Now, you better put on something pretty. Come on, you pig dwarf. Hey, let's cut off some of his beard. Yeah. It zooms back into Umlo's eyes

in the cathedral, standing next to Baron, ten feet away from this monstrosity of molten lava that just has blades shooting out of it and then being melted by the lava seconds later.

Let me take you to the map. Yes, please. We are using Roll20 today. For all your tabletop games and maps, use Roll20. Let's take a look at this setup here. Let's start with the farthest away, Pembroke. Pembroke is on the north side of the cathedral. Remember, he was running from the door.

Double moving, skid, role playing, but he's still hurt. So even his double move isn't moving his full Complement of speed at a double move speed He is still a good Round from even turning the corner Continuing around the corner Coming back towards the forge itself You have Sir Will Alone next to a dead

Dragon Yeah Yeah To Sir Will's Our left, Sir Will's our left, Sir Will's right probably, assuming he's facing the forge. The stairs leading up to the dais where the statue is. Just at the

crook where the dais meets the floor is Aram. Out of channels. Above Aram on the dais is Farron. Not quite sure what the hell's going on now. She doesn't even know who to trust. She seems so nice. She seems so nice. She's stuck up for you guys.

She's like, attendant, they don't appear to be lying. She's like, shut up! You don't know! You're not the Forge Queen! At the head of the dais, right at the edge of the bridge leading to the actual forge, Umlo and Baron, side by side. Just a couple of dwarves

near a forge. And then you've got, in this order, giant molten slag thing, Atena, to the north of Atena, another giant molten slag thing. And then on the other side of the forge, Nestor and Della, who participated

in the ritual. And then far outside the tent, excuse me, far outside the cathedral, in a little imaginary tent, is Lorcan Ymir. Let's not forget them. I forgot them. They were in the opening credits, so I wanted to mention them. And let's also not forget the pile of what was formerly Razzmatazz. Yes. There was a pile of goo.

And a red cap. Who once went, and it was just a single red cap, once went by the name Razzmatazz. There's a lot of different ways we can jump right into this. But I think we should just jump right in. Roll for initiative! All right. New rolls for initiative. All right. This gives me another chance new rolls for initiative. Alright.

This gives me another chance to roll a one. Yeah. Roll for initiative! Woo! Natty 2. Oh no! God damn it! It's okay,

because you can rest comfortably in your vindication. She is the worst. Wow. Wow. All right. Well, here we go. Pembroke the potent. Pembroke is at an eight.

An eight. A gentleman's eight. I wonder if Pembroke survives this, will he take on a new moniker? He might, depending on what happens. Something to think about. Yeah. Pembroke the in need of a hip replacement? Who is...

You're all about running. Pembroke the out of here? Yeah. If he turns down a check, like he doesn't pitch in on a check at the end of this when we go out and party, it would be Pembroke the Penurious. Oh, boy. I don't understand. It has to be alliterative, I'm saying.

It has to be a P. Who's Umlo? I'm Umlo. Oh, I forgot. I am Umlo this week. Why don't you let him take the two? What did Umlo roll for initiative? Umlo rolled a 16 for initiative.

What's his bonus? Plus two. Okay. Good for him. Good for Um's. Let me ask you this. Actually, I'm sorry. No, it's zero. So he doesn't have that. He has a 14. Fair enough. Umlo's not doing too well in the hit point situation. Am I correct? Nope. Nope. None of us are. I mean, at least Sir Will is not. Okay. I presume that the reason you did an Umlo flashback is because he's immediately going to die. He was the only one left. Nestor, coin. Nestor got a 30. He rolled a natural 20.

Nice. That's the way to start. Hell yeah, man. Wow. Baron. What a perfect guy to get a natty 20 on a niche. Yes. Huge.

Baron also got a 30. Did you really? Rolled a 17 on the die, so Baron goes first. Suck it. Wow. Wow, them spightin' words. Sir Willamette. Four.

Four total. Adjusted four. Okay. Della nine. 17. 17 for Della. 17 17 For Della How old is How old is Della now

19 It hasn't been It's been two years In podcast time But it hasn't been Two years In the world of the game It's only been like

A couple months When I look into your eyes I see nothing but Della Matthew When I look into your eyes Now Has anyone considered This thought And Skid and Matthew Don't answer I look into your eyes. Now, has anyone considered this thought? And Skid and Matthew don't answer.

I'm talking about Baron and Willamette. Has anyone considered that Della and Nestor just committed, technically, by praying at the altar, a lawful evil act in communion with Etenna. In that moment, are any of you worried what side they might be on? Baron. I've always thought that Nestor would be capable of something like this. And I've always thought that Della in her youthful exuberance for

understanding this new world she's in uh could also do something intentionally or otherwise evil um as far as whose side they're on i know that nester is purpose driven and probably won't really unless he thinks by siding with this lady he can kill the giant he's been wanting to kill he's not going to turn us. If it still looks like it's best to be on our side, he's going to be on our side. But I think at a certain point he could. Della, I don't think she's going to turn on us. Maybe she will. Sir Will,

just got all your paladin powers back. Yeah, I meant to ask you about that. Does that mean I get paladin spells? All your paladin powers. I understand that, but do I get the spells right now? Yes. Because you have to prepare spells. Am I magically imbued with a couple

divine spells, or what? That's an interesting question. Part of me wants to just give you the last spells that you prepared. Okay. If you have those. I'll look and see what they were. Well, the thing is, the goddess clearly just intervened and gave you your powers back.

What is your praying for spells is your divine entity giving you those spells. So it's up to her whether she wants to give you whatever it is you want. Right, and I think she wants to give me whatever I want. Well, I think that within Sir Will's character, Well, I think that within Sir Will's character, who's been devout in his time of his loss of powers, he probably would have been preparing spells or at least doing whatever motions were necessary to prepare spells this entire time. Well, here's what I think. As I am known, far and wide, as a benevolent GM. I think that's what most people say

Behind closed doors Alright so I'll just take the ten hit points off And remove the spells You got it buddy I think I tend to agree With what Grant's saying That every night you're praying Every night you're going through the same motions

Of trying to Prepare your spells You know what I mean Because preparing a spell as a paladin is praying through the same motions of trying to prepare your spells. You know what I mean? Trying to, because preparing a spell as a paladin is praying. Right. You know what I mean?

So I think you've been praying for what you think is ahead. But it's also, it's funny, like, it seems almost like a wish list to Santa

like every night. It's like, dear Iomadi, I would like three instances of cure light wounds. I never thought about it. I've been a good boy this year. Yeah.

And I was just like, oh, restoration. And please make Lexington have sweet dreams. Yeah. He is such a sweet mount. Oh, wait a minute. So, Joe, you go ahead and give yourself Within reason Anything you want

Great I'm going to take the spells I normally prepare Level 5 spells Alright well It is round one Of the combat In the cathedral Dead bodies everywhere

I love all the bodies I don't think I got to say what Sir Will's perspective is on the lawful evil act. Sorry, we're running out of time. This always happens at Sir Will's time. Sorry, I got very distracted. What do you think about this? Well, I did roll a natural two on initiative, so I guess I'm like, guys, I think that we should... And combat begins!

No, I was just going to say, just to give you a peek in He's not too worried about it He's not thinking that they went the other way He's not thinking that they turned He's well aware of their motivations They've been very clear about their motivations And their motivations went right in line with lighting this thing He tried to warn them of the consequences They didn't listen

And I think that he thinks they are aware of the consequences They weren't, like, duped They knew what they were doing They were going to light it and draw in Brander, and those motivations all make sense to Will, and they are all in the plan of fighting the greater evil, so he's

okay with it so far, but he's obviously wary. But he definitely wants to take out Atena immediately. Yeah, he's not a big fan. Not a big fan Of Tenten I just had a genius level revelation Are you ready?

No Wait, wait, wait Now I'm ready Maybe Atena is Brander Whoa Whoa Probably Probably But then why is she asking us for the hammer

if she already has it well Brandon just wants to kill us listen it doesn't stand up to scrutiny it doesn't stand up to one question shut up it doesn't stand up to one question the first question I don't think it's like a white house press conference The first question? Why are you?

I don't think it's like a White House press conference. Well, we're just going to have to see if that's true or not. I think we're going to discover a lot about ourselves in the next 40 minutes. I think so, too. Round one. Baron Ashbeak.

So, Troy, let me ask you a question here we go how long did it take to do this summoning uh or the that's the whatever we just did with the spell read let me guess instantaneous oh i thought you meant the summoning of the slag for the slags to come out or like from the end of last combat until right now what duration of time has left oh a handful of minutes you guys finished and she was like, quickly to the forge. And you guys gathered. Would you say, in specificity, three minutes have passed? At least.

Okay, then I'm going to cast Protection from Evil again on myself. Ah. As your first round action? Yes. Or in the intervening time? I'm metagaming a bit and I'm hoping these are evil summon creatures and they will be unable to touch me. Okay.

I like it. If they are just like straight up creations that aren't under her control, I'm hoping these are evil summon creatures, and they will be unable to touch me. Okay. I like it. But if they are just like straight-up creations that aren't under her control, I'm screwed. I don't think they have to be evil. I don't think any summon creatures can touch you when they're protected from evil. And regardless, I think that it's... No, it says in the spell,

bodily contact by evil summon creatures. Okay. Well, they're evil summon creatures, no doubt about it. And I don't think you're metagaming. You stepped away from this thing You knew this is a very evil ritual So whatever comes out of there And otherwise he just pets his gun

As he waits for the next turn Alright, Blofeld I've called my cat My cat is a hairless Siamese Baron casts protection from evil Hoping that these are summoned creatures By the technical rules of the Pathfinder game system. Gotcha. Bold move.

That doesn't sound promising. Thanks for that recap immediately after it happened, Troy. I'm very interested to see where this is going to go. Nestor Coin. Nestor Coin! Nestor Coin is going to try something that he has never had the opportunity yet to do. I like it. I'm scared.

He is going to do... Murder his teammates. He is going to... What is it called? I'm going to do a dazzling display with my longbow. Oh, okay. I remember you mentioning this. I'm going to spend a swift action and a move action

doing studied target on the two creatures, the slags, right? They're like molten lava. They're like oozes basically. Okay. Alright, so he's going to spend two actions on that

on studying them. And then he's going to spend two actions on that, on studying them. Okay. And then he is going to do a flourish with his bow, flipping it around his back, looking like a total crazy badass, and try to intimidate them into being shaken. Intimidate into being shaken? Yeah. Huh. Okay. And it's, how far away is it is

a tenor a tenor from you is she's on the other side of the forge which is now lit sparks flying everywhere she's about 15 feet away okay okay then she would be involved too actually I'm gonna spend one action on and I said it's I'm sorry I'm zoomed way out so it's it's her and who's within 30 feet of me both the

slags and Atena. Okay. Both, they're all within 30 feet. So I'm going to send one on Atena and one on one of the slags. The one closer to me. And I'm going to make an intimidation roll. Come on, big roll here. 25. All right.

Do you remember the DC? Yes, the DC is 10 plus the hit dice plus the target's wisdom modifier. Oh. It's almost like you prepared this. Oh. I did. Oh. You have a chance.

It's going to be tight. It's 25 against the two. But an oracle's wisdom, right? Yes, it's a tie. Explain to me what happened. You shoot it up in the air and it's's just like, like a firework situation? No, no. No, it's not like pyrotechnics.

It's just so beautifully. It's not a great white show. I'm just spinning my bow around like a toll. It's like, whoa, this guy is so cool that he'll spend a full round. And it's actually, I don't have, I realize I don't have time, so it's actually 22. So I was like, I was flipping my bow around and probably just looking like a fucking jackass because this won't work now.

Dazzling display. Yeah. The oozes seem completely unaffected. Yeah, they won't work on that now. And Atena completely ignores you. Yeah. Great. She is quite powerful.

And it is Atena's turn. I want to blame the wizardards chest in Denver, Colorado. That's where I bought this D20 from. It was one of the most important rolls ever, and I rolled a fucking seven. You're throwing the game store under the bus? I'm throwing the entire store under the bus. Anyone in the Rocky Mountain region, don't shop there.

I'd like to go one step further, Skid, and encourage people to shoplift from there. This is getting out of control. Please don't. Please don't buy things from them. I'm just kidding. I love that store. Everyone should meet me there in December. He's going to have to build

a new character soon, so he's going to need to do it. He's going to need to go on a retreat, so that's as good a place as that. Yeah. All right. Atena, not quite knowing where Della and Nestor sit on this, choose to ignore them for right now and focus in on Baron and Umlo, the ones that threatened her.

So we're still a little bit too far away. You know what? That's fair. I agree with that. And she reaches out and goes to cast a spell on Baron. Baron.

Roll a will save. How's she doing that? Through a noose? A tenant takes a five foot step down so she can see past these slag shards in front of her and she reaches out with her arm towards Baron and Umlo and she says to Baron, Doom.

Whoa! Roll a will save. That's a really, Doom. Whoa. Roll a will save. That's a really, really good sign. Nothing to worry about. How's his will? It's got to be good. Why is she buffing you? He's a high wisdom character.

Why is she buffing you? Why is she buffing you? So that's a 28. Classic Grant. I actually immediately receive another saving throw against spells that do any mental control. So, if that didn't pass, I get to roll again. You're alright.

Yeah! DC 30. He would roll a 19, too, if he had to do it again. Yeah, he really would. That die. This is a new big red die. Really? This is the same with the set. Wow. So it is just you. And I had those six episodes with the neon

green. It really is just you and your die-weighting capabilities. True master of your art. Can I borrow it? Alright, next up is Della. Now, Della, you and Nestor are on the other side of this forge. You can see her, but she's through the flames. You know what I mean? She's like...

Like, you couldn't just bow her from there. You couldn't, like, throw shit at her. But you do have a line of sight. She's just going to get some sort of buffs, depending on what you want to do. But you might be best friends now, and you just want to join her team and take over the small boat.

Oh. Was there even any questions? You have some options. Della is going to grab Nestor and cast Fly on him. Oh! What? What?

And say, save yourself. Oh, that's brilliant. Wow. Brilliant. So you just cast Fly on Nestor. Yeah. Holy shit! And then she is going to keen and shock the scimitar.

I'm sorry. Swifty. Not shock. She's going to keen and shocking burst the scimitar. Oh! That's right! That's right! Wave up, boy!

And could I roll a knowledge check on the slag shards or whatever they're called? Yes. Dungeoneering. Probably not. 15. 15.

I'm so sorry, Della. Do I know they're called slag shards? You do, because that's what I'm going to call them. Okay. Let me ask you this.

Nestor, you willingly accept fly? I resist with all of my might. He elbows Della in the nose. Don't touch me! I never wanted to fly! I'm low. And Della's going to move over to the other end of the...

The same end, she's going to move away from Nestor. So you move, like, behind this altar. Yeah. There's a big altar that kind of... So, right, the altar is opposite this first slag here. This is crazy. This is crazy. This is crazy. Is it an altar?

She's going to get up on the table. Okay, jump right up on that altar, sure. I'm going to take a picture of this. Umlo, what do you got? Umlo is going to drop back five feet. He's going to take a five-foot step back and then attack the ooze, which is now 15 feet away from him. He is going to enact everything he has here. I'm assuming this character sheet is right.

Is he this terrible? This is bad. How can he be that bad? Each time we pass him off, each new player has the same revelation. He's so terrible. If he had all his strength and everything, he'd be awesome. Okay. He is going to take a, he'd be awesome. Okay. He is going to take a five-foot step back.

He is then going to enact a save? I don't think so. Against a tenner. Five, ten, fifteen. No, he's going to take that five-foot step back, which you haven't taken yet. I'm most down here. So that will put him five, 10, 15, 20. No, I did take the five foot step.

I mean, it doesn't matter. Sure, I'll roll a save on Atena. Even if I want to go after her, the ooze is between the two of us anyway. So he can't get through. Right. He's going to have to take out the ooze first. So yeah, he'll roll a save against Atena and fail. Okay. So, you know, he's not going anywhere. He's raging.

Oh yeah, so then he has to rage. Get some HP. Get some HP. Get some HP. Go into a rage. Okay. And now he's going to enact power attack and combat expertise. Take a lot of minuses.

Wow. Because this ooze looks like it is very easy to hit. And then he's going to take two stabs with heart. Spit! Oh, dear. Hit it! No. No.

Well, it's an 11, so I'm assuming that's a hit. Is it not? Well, it is flat-footed, right? It's an ooze. Yeah, no, it's definitely not a hit. Oh, then he's never going to hit. And a miss. Miss and a miss.

Wow. Damn. So, Joe, based on your history, you said, I wanted to reduce the possible two-hit roll on this as much as possible. Well, I thought that it was going to be a big, easy target, like the oozes that we've hit before. Aram yells out to you, Willamette. Willamette, are you okay?

Do you need healing? What should I do? Where is this guy? He's right there in the nearest you's nearest you, on the floor. You guys are the only two on the floor. He's below the dais, below the... Do you have any channels? I don't.

You guys told me to use them all. You guys. You guys. Matthew, especially. Y'all, y'alls. Come this way, away from the creatures, and heal me. All right. So he's going to tell him to get his farts... I have just enough movement. creatures and heal me. All right.

He's going to tell him to get his cards. I have just enough movement. Yeah, so he's going to bring them away from all the creatures towards him. And then if he has a cure light, he can give him a cure light and then he'll. Do you want a cure light or a cure medium? Cure medium would be perfect. All right. 17 points of healing.

Whoa. That is huge. His powers are growing by the hour. 17 points of healing. He's bringing some healing. That is awesome. That's are growing by the hour. 70 points of healing. He's buying some healing. That's going to help out Willy Will Wills. Big time. And it is now Pembroke's turn.

All right, Pembroke is still really far away. So he's just going to keep huffing and puffing, limping and running another 80 feet. Oh, man. Yeah, so he's just going to keep running. That's so crazy. He's still running. This map is huge, and then you can't get over the pews, because they're giant pews. Yeah, they're too tall for him to get over. Well, wait a minute. The minutes have passed

since the dragon fight. Oh, yeah, that's true. Oh, yeah, Tynbro should be a lot closer. He could easily be up by Sir Will. Yes, I've totally forgot about that. He was running. He really is slow. Well, at this point, he's just kind of like hobbling on his cane. Maybe he's like investigating the dead dragon or something. Maybe that works.

All right, so you start the round right next to Sir Will. So now Sir Will, Aram, and Pembroke are all together. Okay. So Pembroke is going to move closer to the altar and begin casting a spell. Alright, baby! Sir Will. Sir Willamette, he will lean over to Aram after getting this

infusion of positive energy and he's going to say, Thank you, my friend. May the blessings of Iomide be upon you. We will need her if we are to live through this fight. Stay behind this pew and don't get into any trouble. And then he's going to start running up to the altar with all haste. So he'll move 70 feet up the altar and towards the combat.

So he goes back to get to the stairs. Yeah, back to the stairs, up and around. And he's on Lexington and up and around. All right, it's time for the Shard Slacks. So, the first one. The one closest to Nestor. This is Brutes Magoots. Blades start forming out of this

molten pile. So they're kind of like T-1000. Exactly. Oh no. In fact, the number of blades that appear each round, i.e. the number of attacks, changes every single round. That's pretty cool. In this case, four blades come out

and start slicing up Nestor. Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun! These are ancient guardians of the forge. Oh, man. All right, first attack on Nestor. Let me get... I have no room to run here. First attack on Nestor, 30. That is one accurate ooze.

That is a hit. You get hit for nine points of damage, and then four points of fire damage. Oh, right. Because they're molten. Second attack. Natty, 19. That is a critical threat. Oh, because it's a blade.

19 to 20. No! To confirm. 29 to confirm. Oh, because it's a blade! 19 to 20. No! To confirm... 29 to confirm. Oh my god. Jesus. Oh boy. Luckily they don't have names. It's not George, the molten fire

ooze. Oh my goodness. I've been down there for 10,000 years. 21 points of regular damage. You don't double the fire damage. I know. And then 8 more points of fire. Oh my god.

It's got 2 more attacks. Next attack, 19. It's a miss. Awesome. Final attack, 23. Yeah, it's a hit. Hits on the final attack. Does 14 points of regular.

Dude. And 3 points of fire. And now, you need to roll a fortitude save. Oh my god. As the fire is creating an excruciating burn on your body. Jesus.

Oh great, well I failed that too. No! No! This is going really well. Nestor, he has got to get out of there. With the ability to fly, is now staggered for one round. Okay. Staggered, by the way, a creature can take a move action or a standard action. Yeah. Plus swift and immediate.

Yeah, just gotta get out of there. But man, three of those hits went through. Wow, that knocked me, like, almost. I've got only three hit points left. To the choir loft! To the loft! The next slag goes to attack Baron. And so how many blades?

Oh, how many blades on this one? Thank you for reminding me. One. Six blades. What? Six attacks. We'll split them up between the dwarves. Do we answer the question, by the way?

The answer question about protection from evil? Yes. You are not protected from these monsters. And they have 15 feet of reach? They do have 15 feet of reach with their... Oh my god! Holy moly! Oh man.

We'll go three on Baron, three on Umlo. Oh man. First attack on Baron, 23. Against evil? No, that's. First attack on Baron, 23. Against evil? No, that's not a hit. Oh, good. Okay, second attack. I'm assuming they're evil still, right?

Yes. Okay. Well, you get a deflection bonus. Actually, they are neutral. Oh, crap. Okay, then that's a hit. Exactly a hit. So the first one hits for 12 points regular,

seven points fire. Second attack, 15. Why don't you roll them all at the same time with the hit die? Second attack, 15 to hit. That is a mess. Third attack, another 15. All right! Oh, wow.

Oh, Baron lives around. Here's three for Umlo. Torex smiles upon him. Okay, Umlo's raging. Umlo's raging. Umlo's raging. All right, first attack on Umlo. I'll definitely bring all's three for Umlo. Okay, Umlo's raging. Umlo's raging. All right, first attack on Umlo. I'll definitely bring all the dice for this one.

My milkshake brings all the dice to the Umlo. That's going to be a 26 to hit. That's a hit. 12 points regular, 4 points fire. Okay. All right, next one. Luckily, Umlo's immune to fire damage, which is cool. Oh.

No, he's not. 22. He's screaming in pain. 22 on the next one. Luckily, Umlo's immune to fire damage, which is cool. Oh. No, not always. 22. He's screaming in pain. 22 on the next one. Also a hit. Oh, boy. 14 regular. 8 fire. Oh, no.

Unconscious? Or fully dead? No, I mean, he's going to be permanently dead if this next one hits. Is he unconscious? No. But because he's raging, he's going to lose all of it. Oh, because he got the bonus from raging. That's why he's not unconscious.

Yeah, 24 to hit on the final one. Yep. 11 regular, 7 fire. Okay. Okay. Okay. Umlo permanently dies. Permanently dies.

He is at negative 30. God. So that second attack didn't bring him below enough to kick his head. He had six. And then you did 18 points of damage, and he was already on temporary life with the rage. Oh, right, because he drops those. He's holding up that spear. He's like, no! Oh, that happened fast.

Yeah. Barren roll. These creatures are completely absurd. Baron roll a fortitude of six. Six blades? This is awful. Oh, my God. 19.

Baron, you're staggered for one round. No, 31 total. That was a natural 19. You dumbass. Why'd I even ask? Good fake out, Grant. Well, you finally did it, LaValley. Well.

You've been gunning for Umlo for months. I'm surprised it happened as quickly in the first round. Your complete lack of understanding of the numbers of these monsters is amazing to me. Well, you guys have been mashing for 100 episodes. This is true. Here comes the TPK. Round two. Yeah.

Baron. Baron's going to do rapid shot against the slag that just took down Umlo and he says, I will avenge you brother, but have peace with Ingrid Hild in the next life. I'm so sad right now. Yeah, but there's no time, Troy. We just gotta keep moving. I know.

Okay. First one is More than likely a hit That is a 21 against touch AC 21 against touch That'll hit Okay

That was my D8 So you're just So that is a total of 19 points of damage Okay Second attack Damage Blood has been drawn Or fire Bludgeoning and piercing In case that matters 19 points of damage. Okay. Okay. Second attack. Damage.

Blood has been drawn. Or fire. Bludgeoning and piercing, in case that matters. The second one is a hit. Okay. For a total of 19 points of damage. All right. The third one is a absolute hit.

Nice. For a total of 16 points of damage. All right. All right, Baron. Beautiful. Beautiful. Beautiful. Boom, boom, boom, does significant damage to this one.

Well done. My heart is pounding. Nestor coin. Burn. Burn wounds all over his body. Alright, so Nestor is going to... I think he's just going to fly straight up. That's all he can do.

Get out of there. Nestor. Let's get out of there. Nestor's got to get out of there. This is looking ugly. Thank goodness. Delicast that on Nestor. Let me give you a little look into my mind right now. It's only round two. I figured this would be tough.

The worst is yet to come. And I honestly don't know how this is going to work out. But this is why we play. Yeah. I have an idea how it's going to work out. Wasn't Nestor staggered? He can move. He can move. Oh! Got it. I'm dumb. Thanks for trying to hamstring Nestor! It is Atena's turn.

What's you're going to do, Atena? Atena just sees everything working out according to plan. She's she's got one creature down. Atena will

Atena again attempts to cast a spell on Baron. Baron Roll a will save. You don't get any kind of double jeopardy on that shit? What's that? Is it a new spell? Yes, a new spell.

Yeah, that first spell lost. Lost to the wind. It says, I forbid you. That is a 17. Son of a bitch. All right. So Baron has passed two pretty tough spells that would have really debilitated him.

And that is Atena's turn. Atena is still very safely nestled between her two slag shards. It is Della's turn. Della is going to vanish. Della vanishes.

Clutch. Clutch. Let's play a little game here. Okay. What if I don't tell you where I'm going? All right. It's as if I took my piece off the board. Take your hand off the piece. That's fine.

That's fine. I trust you. I trust you. Fool. She just did a lawful evil act. I'll just get rid of Amlo's piece here. Oh, God here Aram moves behind the pew

as Sir Will said so he's between the first pew and the second pew near the stinking carcass of the dying excuse me dead dragon Pembroke began casting a spell what happens? Pembroke summons a pteranodon

what? what is is that it is a uh what i feel like i shouldn't have to explain it to all of you i know i had to explain it to troy but i didn't know i didn't figure i'd have to explain it to everyone it's a it's a dinosaur well i know it's a dinosaur what kind of dinosaur a flying dinosaur okay i did not. Yeah. Didn't you hear the silent P? All of the flying dinosaurs have silent Ps at the beginning. Peter the Pteranodon. And he shows up and he attacks the shard thing. The ooze.

The ooze. Which one? The one that was... The one that killed UMS? Yeah. You know? Yeah, sure. Okay. That's the one that Baron took a lot of damage. Yeah. That's The one that killed UMS? Yeah, you know. Yeah, sure. Okay, that's the one that Baron took a lot of damage. That's the one that Baron lit up.

Now, is this a large, huge creature? What are we talking here? It is a large animal. Okay. And it misses. It takes one attack and misses. Oh, no! All right, and now is it like, it's flying like over the pit?

Over the slag pit? Yeah. Okay. For the listeners, Troy has placed what looks like, it's flying like over the pit, over the slag pit? Yeah. Okay. For the listeners, Troy has placed what looks like a large salamander onto the board. I'm working quick here. I don't even know how to spell it. Wait, it doesn't have two attacks? No, just one.

Oh, all right. All right, so Pembroke calls forth that. A Pteranodon. Sir Will. Sir Willamette. Okay, Sir Willamette is gonna shout to Nestor. He sees Nestor damaged. He flies up. He's like, behind the pew! Haram!

And sort of tries to tell him that he could get healed over there, possibly. And then... Let's see. He is still out of range to really hurt anything. So he is gonna move up towards the action 35 feet. He sees still out of range to really hurt anything. So he is going to move up towards the action 35 feet. He sees Umlo go down. No! You cursed creature! He

yells at Uyga and he's going to pray to Iomadai and cast, not cast, but he's going to enact divine armor. Yeah. And turn Asgroth's armor into a glowing white extension of Iomadai herself. And turn Asgroth's armor into a glowing white extension of Iomedae herself!

And he gets an additional plus one enhancement bonus to his armor class. A little boost. Yeah, a little boost. A little boost of juice. So getting closer. It's slag time. So ridiculous. Alright. Let's see. The one that

just took out UMS. It can do four attacks on the bear. On bear bear. Yes. First, it's going to. The pterodon. Don't forget the pterodon. Oh, the pterodon. Right.

Two and two, just to be fair. Okay. First two on the pterodon. Pteranodon. Pteranodon. Pteranodon is 23 to hit the pteranodon. Thatteranodon. Pteranodonus. 23 to hit the Pteranodon. That is a hit. All right.

12 points of regular. 11 points of fire. Oh, my God. Okay. Second attack on the Pteranodon. Maybe a miss. A 19? That's a hit.

19 hits. It's dead. Oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Hold on a second. We missed Pembroke's turn. He had a turn. Oh, that's dead. Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute. Hold on a second. We missed Pembroke's turn. He had a turn. Oh, that's right. A very,

very, very important turn since he's probably the only character besides Baron. I'm so sorry to do anything. Pembroke, I'm sorry. I forgot about you. Let's just squeeze it in. So you said the second one hit and you think that seven plus nine fire is enough to kill it? It certainly is. Okay, so the Pteranodon I don't know how to say it.

It's dead. It might have saved Baron's life, though. You slaughtered its name, and then you slaughtered it itself. Natural. 20. Oh, come on, Troy! This is not the time! Here comes the confirm roll.

Oh, 16. Not confirmed. Oh, great. Exploding dice, though, and you're rolling 19 die every time. I already rolled the dice. They are not exploding. So it's going to be 11 regular damage for fire. Not bad.

Not bad. What are you rolling for fire? Are you rolling 2d6 or 1d12? Don't worry, 1d1. All right. All right. Just listen to all these dice fall. Did you hear that, Joe?

26 to hit there, Baron. Yes, Troy. This is bad. This is bad. 14 regular 11 fire. And I'm going to need you to roll a fortitude save. I think that you're under the impression that we're all bosses. We're just mortal men.

Fortitude, that's a 26. And women. I meant humans Baron, you're okay You are not staggered Let's go back to the Pembroke turn I always forget when casters summon monsters They still get their turn because it takes a whole round to do it

Pembroke, what do you got? Take your time He's going to hold He has so little left He has very little That was his main thing that he could do He had that one 4th level spell left He's going to hold. He has so little left. He has very little. That was his main thing that he could do, is he had that one fourth-level spell left.

Don't forget that everyone's 10th level. He's 7th level. He's got almost nothing left, with all the buffs he did. Oh, right. The Fireball and Magic Missile, there's almost nothing he has left. Oh, my God.

Pembroke was going to save the day. No. Pembroke holds the second slarg the second shard with Della gone and Nestor flying. It burrows back into the pit.

You would assume it's coming downstairs. Okay, because downstairs is all's coming downstairs. Okay. Because downstairs is all molten pit, too. It's all, like, slag as well? No. No, no, no. No, the pit, that brown circle, that's the slag.

This thing has manifested as living slag. Okay. And it can burrow through anything? It can burrow through stone and... And this is all stone? Yes, this is all stone. Got it. Everyone roll a perception check.

Perceptione. Sir Will's got his visor down, man. He can't see anything. He can't see anything. Eight perception. Natty, 20 for Della. Ooh! Ooh!

Which is a 32. Baby. Now, Della, where are you standing again? I can't tell you that information. Okay, just checking. It really depends for me to give you this full information. Anybody over 20 besides Della? Pembroke. Pembroke.

And Della, here. Towards the front door. As a flock of eagles comes flying in to the center of the cathedral. What? And at the last minute, one of the eagles flips out. It's Fairaza!

Oh, shit! Hello, my friends. Oh, my God. So it sounds like you planned this with Mr. Kaburakaza. Oh, my God. Fairaza is in the building. She is way in the back. Fairaza is in the building. She is way in the back. Fairaza's in the house!

And Matthew, you can roll for how many eagles you have. Can she not be way in the back? Can she fly up to the action? Can she also stay as an eagle? There would be no logical reason why she would not. All right. Well, that really ruins the scene. She flips out and then flips back.

She's like, I'm here. And then flips back. And then goes an eagle again. Perfect. We can make up any flips back. She's like, I'm here. And then flips back. And then goes in and goes again. Perfect. We can make up any rules we want. Exactly. Awesome. All right.

So Fariza has entered the battle. What do you do? Please don't write in and tell us that that's two standard actions. We know. We know. It's just for flavor. First things first, I'm going to roll for my eagles. Roll like an eagle to the sea.

Five eagles Oh Bad assery Wait so you guys Talked beforehand And we were like I'm gonna cast the spell Outside Don't worry about it Joe

Alright Don't worry about it Let's talk about Some cannon fodder Just enjoy the story Parisa you are in the building And you can act right now Wow it really is

It's a whole flock of eagles Where am I Oh yes let me get you on the board. I had your piece prepared, but not an eagle for him. Okay. So, Ferrazza flips into Asimar form and then flips back into eagle form. It's me.

Hello, my friends. From up in the air, she's going to cast Ice Storm. What? Oh, that's a good one. And it's a 40-foot radius, and it's gonna hit... I think I... Well, the guy went underground, so I'm just gonna hit the slag

shard thing and a tenna. Oh, shit. Okay. That's a 20-foot radius of a cylinder and 40 feet high. Great magical hailstones pound down upon the cast of the spell, dealing 3d6 points of bludgeoning damage and 2d6 points of cold damage to every creature in the area. Wow.

Shit. Okay. Okay. I'll draw the square on there in a minute. I've got a headache just thinking about this. It hits Baron too, right? Nope. Okay.

Good try. So that's 12 points of bludgeoning damage. Okay. There's all these like hail chunks are coming down. Ninus. Ninus. Ninus. Ninus.

Ninus. Nine points of ice cold damage. And this is all magic, right? Yep. Okay, so wait. 12 points of bludgeoning. No, it's physical. Sorry.

Well, actually, the hailstones are magical. So yes, it's all magical. All right, so 12 points of bludgeoning. And how many points of cold? Nine points of cold. Okay, you see the cold really lights it up. Oh, nice. I wondered.

And then the eagles are... I was trying to figure out what their fly speed was. But they're going to fly in. Oh, that's to both of them, right? Yeah, to both the slag thing and antenna. Nine and twelve. Okay, so the eagles are going to have to all double move. But? Yeah, to both the slag thing and antenna. Nine and twelve. Okay, so the eagles are going to have to all double move, but they're going to swarm on antenna. Oh, shit!

I really didn't think this through. I don't have any control over the eagles, so you're going to have to move them. Oh, damn it. Don't worry, I'll give you full control. Okay. And Farazza is also going to get closer. She's going to start circling the area in eagle form. I love it.

All right. So Farazza doesn't get that close because she couldn't double move, whereas the eagles all swarm Atena. And they can get right up there, right? I'm assuming. Yeah. On a double move, they have way enough speed. That is 80 feet for Atena, by the way. For Azza, by the way. Check that eye.

Moved them all at once. They're just swarming. Beautiful. Start to peck out her eyes. Ah! Ah! My beautiful eyes! Now I really can't see! Round three. Baron. Pembroke, still hold. You can jump in any time. Baron is going to do a full withdrawal,

and he's going to start by taking a diagonal step backwards towards Sir Will in order to avoid an attack of opportunity. Have the protected first step out, and then I will be out of range after that step. That is smart, because there's a corner there. You can't attack around that corner. Well done. All right, so you're just getting out of Dodge. Exactly. I hate Dodge.

It's the worst. Dodge Neons, Dodge Rams. Dodge City. But a Mercedes-Benz. I'd love to drive one of those. Man, you have been trying that Mercedes-Benz line so many times. I keep getting calls from Germany, and there's these.de addresses coming in, like, yeah, we'd love to give you a car, Baron.

All right, and it is... Nester Coins turned flying Nester with full actions. Alright, and it is nester coin flying nester with full actions. Yeah, no longer staggered. Yeah, I guess he's just gonna attack antenna. Attack antenna, so just firing down from above.

Yeah, he's gonna do multi-shots at any targets. That's 27 hits. to hits. 27 hits. Beautiful. With fly, does he have to keep moving? Yeah, so he can either attempt a hover check or he has to keep moving.

Okay. Or he could have landed at some point. Sure. 42, yeah, 42 points of damage. Holy shit! Then he just... He's really bummed out by Umlo dying. I'm not going to lie, man.

Yeah. That was his boy. He's kind of broken. So is he... So he's just going to continue flying? Yeah. However that works, he's going to keep doing it. Alright, so Nestor just boom! Hits Atena. Takes a brutal, brutal damage outa. Takes a good chunk out of Atena's.

And it is Atena's turn. Now Atena is... Oh, wait. You know... Oh, shit. I couldn't have done that because if I have to keep flying, then... Because that's... I need a full attack actually to do the multi-shot, so...

All right, so because Nestor had to fly, he can't do the full attack for multi-attacks It was just a regular attack But Nestor remains flying 21 points of damage to a Tenet Now it's a Tenet's turn And a Tenet kind of wants to heal, protect herself She's surrounded by five fucking eagles If it's anything like the eagle's offensive line She might get out of this scot-free

Well, yeah, Scott knows that But no, in this case, she uh she is in uh in a bad place so with her war hammer that she already had in her hand uh it was part of the ritual so why did she need a new hammer this whole thing could have been avoided is what you're telling us um yeah she already has a scott's hammer Hammer She's Brander I told you this from the beginning She will just start These stupid

I hate when there's like Nine shitty little summoned creatures You gotta deal with Alright she's gonna start Attacking these One by one Alright so the north most one She swings at

26 to hit Yep I'm just gonna kill these In one shot Alright so the first one 20 points of damage plus four fire. It's dead. Okay. It's a fried chicken at this point.

Just taking you to task here. She has this hammer out while she's casting all these spells and everything. She had the hammer the whole time. I mean, that's what I'm saying. But you're right to question me on it. Does she have a quick draw feat? She does not have quick draw. So maybe she needed to draw it and takes out one eagle this round. That's fair. That's what I'm saying. But you're right to question me on it. Does she have a quick draw feat? She does not have quick draw. So maybe she needed to draw it and takes out one eagle this round.

That's fair. That's fair. She's pitching it. It's fair, you shitty person. All right, yeah. That's all she can do. So you pound the chicken into fillets and then deep fry it. The worst thing is I didn't move last round.

I meant to draw it last round, but I did not verbally say it. And I sure as hell would hold you guys to it, so I have to hold myself. I've got to tell you something. Joe O'Brien has never looked more beautiful to me than he does right now. There's something in your eyes tonight, Joe. Got to buy a couple seconds here, man. Every second is going to count in this combat. That's enormous, and now I'm mad.

All right, Della's turn. You don't know where she is, but she's going to move a little bit. Okay. And cast a spell. Okay. Let me guess, you don't know the spell either. No. Okay.

I don't like this. I don't like this. Aram just looks to Pembroke. Is there anything I should do? The knight told me to stay here. Stay where you are. All right. Just stay alive.

No more death. All right, so Aram, just heeding Sir Will's words, stays there. Excellent. Pembroke, the potent. Yeah, man. I just... I mean, he knows that something else is coming also. Sorry, he's saving up.

He really just has almost nothing left does he have a crossbow? no no like I mean there's nothing so he has he just continues to hold I mean I think oh god

alright so Pembroke knowing that there's a lot left in this fight holds Sir Will oh man Sir Will. Oh, man. Sir Will, seeing everybody's spirits really down, really down and everybody hurt, he's going to try to holler out and be heard over all of the chaos of battle

and just say, Iomedae is with us! She convinced a regiment of mortally wounded knights at the Second Battle of Inkothen to stay their ground against a horde of wraiths until reinforcements arrived at dawn to rescue them. She is with us. We will be

saved. We must fight through this. And he's going to charge up toward this whatever creature, this ooze creature, and just full-blown charge

with the hybrid lance. He's going to lower the lance and for hybrid! That won't provoke, right? Because of your charge. Yeah, the charge ability. So yeah, he does a quick little mounted charge.

Baron, let this thing up yes I'm sorry one second mounted charge here we go for high bearing charges boom did it baby he did it 34 to hit wow almost max damage

4 points of damage 18 points of damage. He did 18 points of damage. Okay! I'm so glad you got to roll that nicely now. 18 damage. Alright, that thing is pretty beat up. I'm going to need you to do me a favor. As the lance sticks in,

you realize you need to pull that lance out quickly or it's going to take fire damage. Oh, shit. My Highbury lance! Roll a reflex, Zell. No! Reflex is not my best. 90, 19.

There you go. 24. Wow, and you just barely pulled that lance out. The Highbury banner is burning. Yeah, burn, gone. It's not gone. Up in flames. No, Griffin.

Yeah, and when I say 19 Just barely pulled that out Oh shit Well I won't be Attacking him again Alright Sir Will It is now

Slag's Shard's turn One of them Has disappeared Into the pit The other one Is right next To Sir Will

That one Bring it That one does His armor's glowing With a holy light Three attacks On Sir Will. Oh, boy. Oh, boy.

You've got a pretty good AC, so this might be the best case situation for someone to be attacked. I really hope Joe gets to do some sweet clang noises. 21 to hit. Miss! Clang! Yeah, that's a great clang. Second attack of three. Oh, son of a bitch.

20 to hit. Yes! I love you so much. Unbelievable. Not this day. I missed again. 21 to hit again. Not this day.

I rolled 979. Nice. Wow. Three misses. Nice. The other slag that went into the pit. Dies. Dies.

Drowns. Comes back up and starts protecting Atena by attacking the, whatchamacallit, the birds. The eagles. So it just does one attack on the foremost eagle because it had to fucking burrow back up. 20 to hit the eagle. Yes, that hits. All right. 10 regular and only two fire.

Oh, it's a fried chicken What does it have, five hit points? Yeah, it has five hit points It's a level one They're great Two eagles down Alright It is Farazza and the eagles

You want to get the eagles out of the way? Farazza's going to hold Okay, Farazza's going to hold Daniel Russo's going to fight? The eagles can go without Faraz is going to hold. Okay, Faraz is going to hold. Daniel Russo is going to fight? What? The Eagles can go without Faraz going,

Absolutely. Okay, the Eagles are going to go. Sure. So the Eagles are all going to do full attack actions. Okay, they all

miss. Let me know if you're rolling. How many are still alive? Three. Okay. None.

They all miss. Great, that was the first town. Second town. Oh, damn it all. 19 to hit. Get out of here. Okay, they all miss on the second town.

And the bite. They all miss on the bite. I'm rolling rocks. Nice. Verizon is back. That was a stream of single digits. All right, so Verizon is going to hold. Man. Delay. Delay, excuse me. Delay, so Verizon's going to hold. Man.

Delay. Delay, excuse me. Delay. And Tana has not been super effective, and these eagles have just taken her out of the fight for a couple more rounds. It is round four. One party member is dead. No time to mourn.

No time to mourn. This is very, very bad, very, very sad. Baron, your buddy, gone. Yeah, and he's not feeling so hot right now himself. So Baron is going to move to get within 20 feet of the slag shard. Yes. Okay. And then he is going to take one single shot.

Straight through Sir Will. Deadly aim. Do it. Don't roll. No, it's a one. Oh, my God. Deadly aim. Do it. Don't roll. Oh my god! No! No! No!

No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!

No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!

No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!

No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!

No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!

No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!

No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!

No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!

No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! Or is it a... Oh, yeah. That's a hit against touch AC. Okay. So my gun is jammed. Your gun is jammed. And then you have to roll a D100 and see if you hit Sir Will. That's right. Oh, right. It wasn't a confirmed fumble. It was not a confirmed fumble, but it was a natural one.

Right, right. You have a 10% chance. No, no, only on confirmed fumbles you roll the 10% chance. No, if you roll a natural one when you're shooting into melee with another creature, yeah, we do 10%. I think if it's a confirmed fumble, you do 20%. Ah, okay. Yeah, that sounds good.

All right. 57. All right, all right. That would have just been horrible. Bullet to the back of Sir Will. Talk about kicking us when we're down. Sir Will, dead. Back of the back of Sir Will. Talk about kicking us when we're down. Sir Will, dead. Back of the head, execution style.

One shot. Baron, you really needed to get a hit off there. And it is... That is so incredibly true. Flying Nestor's turn. All right. Well, I guess he's going to try to make it towards the choir loft. I don't know how far he can get.

60 feet. 60 feet's his speed. And he probably would have moved yeah did he move last round yeah i didn't say but i mean he was probably doing that all right so you want to double move to the choir loft sure all right so nester flies to the choir love he's just getting into a safe position smart might be the only thing that keeps him alive it It's a tennis turn. Now a tennis got the hammer out. And she's going to take out all three. These eagles are very deadly. So you probably need to get rid of them.

It's just so annoying. I mean, she can't cast spells and shit with them there. So let's just see here. First attack. Kills one. Kills the second one. And kills the third. Oh, 21.

Three attacks? Three attacks. With a hammer? Yep. Jesus Christ. She's the keeper of the forge. Knocks them all out of the air. She's really high level. She was playing possum with you guys. That's like 12th, right? 12th level plus. She is...

Three melee attacks. She is what they call in the business no joke. She is no joke. What business would that be? The business of forging. She is about to be riddled with arrows. I can tell you that much. Alright. She killed all of them

and that is her turn. It is Della. Now Della, remind me again where you are on the board. Well, it's funny you should ask. So Della is going to do a little spell combat spell strike but you don't know that because you can't see her. Oh, awesome, Matthew! And she appears right next to a tenon. Yes!

Son of a bitch! The spell she cast before she appeared was a little shocking grass. Oh, shit. The spell she cast when she was disappeared the last time was true strike. Oh! So smart! Are you kidding me? Awesome.

So I have to roll because me? So, let's I have to roll because if I crit it's shocking burst Yeah, and if you roll a natural one you miss Lord That's true, if I roll a natural one I miss I shouldn't have allowed you to tell me where you were going Not a critical threat, but with true strike I'm assuming a 33 hits Let me check, let me check

Yeah, that's gonna be I got a sound for this now, buddy I got a sound for you,, buddy. I got a sound for you. New sound. That's kind of fun. Yeah. Snaps out of nowhere. Oh, my God. So, Della, you just... So, that is 12d6 plus 4.

Holy shit. Wow. Four, a total of 50 points of damage. Oh, my God. Della, Della, Della, Della, Della. Atena is like almost dead. Della is going to five foot step away. Uh-huh.

And Farazza will act. Oh no. Matt, you walked right into Matthew's trap. Farazza. Oh my god. I can't believe this. The tactical brilliance of this cannot be understated. Matthew.

Farazza, as an eagle, is going to fly right in over the flames of the forge and land in the space 10 feet away from Matenna and cast. Provoke? Yeah. You mean 15 feet away? Yeah, 15. I can do it with 15 feet. God. Bitch.

And she's going to cast Stone Shape. She can do 77 cubic feet of stone. And she's going to construct a prison of stone around Atena. Whoa. Leaving an opening facing where the choir loft. Are you kidding me? A little two-foot mid-body opening for arrows. Wow.

Matthew, this is the best. Oh, my God. Well, here is a bottle cap. Yeah! You have got to be kidding me. Oh, my God. That is amazing. All right. So Atena is in a stone prison.

With just like the little hole they give her her meal through open. I really thought this was going to be it. Okay, okay. Alright, Matthew. Alright, I see what you're doing. It's a Rob's turn. It's low, by the way, so she'd have to struggle to get a handout. So she could climb out or

she's completely in prison. She's completely enclosed. Wow. Unbelievable. Amazing. Unbelievable. Amazing. All right. I never knew a stone shape could be used like that. That is brilliant. Yeah.

That's crazy. Oh, Matthew, I love you. I wanted to do that so bad in episode 100, but we never really got to a place with stone. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Don't you love how I really kept bringing that up? So it's stone, right? It's definitely stone up there.

Troy's like, yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. I feel real good about that. All right. It is Aram's turn. Aram jumps into the forge and burns himself alive.

There you go. Push him in! I am all powerful! And it is Pembroke's turn. Pembroke. You just see Aram burning alive. No, Aram just stays back there. He's going to go ahead and cast...

Well, he has two magic missiles left. He's going to cast one on the one menacing Sir Will. Okay, the one right up in Sir Will's business. That's 18 points of damage. 18 points of damage. That shard slag is in rough shape. Nice.

Chum, chum, chum, chum, chum, chum, chum. Alright, Pam, Pam. It is Sir Will's turn. Just so you know, Sir Will, after you is the shard slag's turn. One of them is, Sir Will, after you is the Shardslack's turn. One of them is going to go kill Della. Yeah. One of them is going to kill you.

So Sir Will is, I mean, seeing what happened to the spear with the fire and everything, and now that his charge is done, he's just going to kind of move the spear out to the side. Hearing that shot from Baron behind him that missed, he's going to rely on Baron to take this thing out. Baron, take it out! And he's going to raise his shield up in front of himself. Total defense. Total defense. Yes.

Smart. Probably smart. Let's find out. All right, so that one goes to the one right in front of you. Let's see how many attacks it's going to get. Again, only three attacks. The one person that can take all these hits is getting the least amount of attacks towards it. So, first attack, 16.

No. Second attack, 26. Get out of here with a 26. You're never gonna hit me. Here comes the crit. Here comes the crit. 19 to 20. 19 to 20. 90, 18. Still a miss. Let me see. 31.

Exactly. Oh, no. Where's your total offense now? All right, it's going to be 10 points regular. I can't believe that. 10 points regular and 5 fire. We need your roll for a tooth save, Sir Will. Um, okay.

Sir Will. Sir Will is immune to fear. I don't know if you all know this. And I will pass any Wills. Fortitude save. Fortitude save. I'm worried about a little Fortitude save. Fort 21.

21 is actually going to be a fail. Son of a... What? What a natural four. What? Stop rolling that die. It's every die, Matthew. It's every die, Matthew. It's every die I own.

Don't touch it anymore. Jesus. You are staggered, Sir Will. Oh, no. Staggered by the mere presence of this pure evil. This other one starts making its way around the four chart, back to where Della and Nestor started this episode, and it's going to attempt to stab through

with one attack on Phyraza. Now, Phyraza's going to get a plus four to her AC because she's kind of wedged in between the altar and the, uh, the forge, which is now lit. So one attack, plus four to your AC, 23. Yeah. That's a hit? Yep.

Oh, wait, plus four to my AC or plus four to your attack? Plus four to your AC. Oh, then it's, uh, it's a, no, it's a hit. It's a hit. It's a hit? Yep. Oh, wait. Plus four to my AC or plus four to your attack? Plus four to your AC. Oh, then it's a hit. It's a hit. It's a hit, exactly. All right. It's going to be nine points regular damage, five points fire, fortitude save. 25 on the fortitude save.

25 on the fortitude save, and you are okay. Five points regular, nine points fire. Five regular, nine fire. Round five. Can't believe that thing hit me. Baron's turn. So when I gave out a little yeek, when I realized what Sir Will was doing,

I remembered my gun was jammed. And I was really upset, because I was going to have to, I mean, of course I would sacrifice my gun to save Sir Will. One of the only good ones, I've learned. But then I realized I have one last bottle cap to prevent my gun

from shattering, hopefully. Or at least increasing my chances. Here you go, bud. So you're going to shoot twice, take the better? Basically, you're just trying to make sure you don't. I don't. I don't. Yeah, I'm taking one nice shot.

Okay. One nice shot. Do you want to take a five-foot step so it doesn't get a bonus to its AC? Five-foot step down because I'm low as body there. It doesn't count. Right here? Yeah, sure. Absolutely.

Thank you. Wow. What a nice guy. Well, you know what? You cashed in a bottle cap. You earned it. The first one is not a misfire. It's a six, but let's see if I can get a critical Gotta roll those together, bro

Not a miss, but it is a hit Alright, so one juicy Take it out, Baron Bear Bear 20 points of damage And the shard slams Alright, we got it, baby. It dissipates.

Sir Will and Baron do an incredibly complicated handshake. One shard slag down, a tenna in a stone box, but one that has not even been touched! And it is Nestor's turn. Nestor is going to do a full attack against a tenna.

Aiming through that one little window in the stone you left like a window there so it's yeah this is pinpoint accuracy but he should be able to get in there a little bonus to Ray C but this is Nester coin it's 26 that's going to be a hit there you go

assuming that's two arrows it is it's a multi shot at the studied target. 37 points of damage. 37 points of damage. And second attack. Oh, shit. That arrow just in slow motion from the choir loft just boom right through there.

And you kill Etana. Nice. She did not get off one cool attack. I never liked her. That's like that game Sniper Elite Dangerous or whatever where you see the bullet in slow motion and it fractures a femur and goes out the other side and just blood splurts everywhere inside the stone encasement.

I want to feel the bones break. Sir Will doesn't know she's dead. He's probably going to charge the stone igloo next turn. Shattering his spirit. Alright, Della. And he's going to shoot a second arrow at the thing.

And that's going to be 22 to hit. That is going to hit. Yeah. Alright. There we go. Plug it away. One arrow. One gentleman's arrow. That's 17 hit. Yeah. There we go. Start plugging away at this. One gentleman's arrow. That's 17 damage.

Okay. Okay. And that's it for Nestor. Yeah. Hell of a round. A tenant has been taken out. It is Della's turn. Don't get dead.

Don't get dead. Don't get dead. Don't get dead. Thanks. Della is going to Move away To a new town? She's going to withdraw Alright

Enigma That's what my thing says Who's Enigma? By Raza Enigma Enigma you're up She is a bit of an Enigma For Raza is going to take off flying

to get back up into the air. And leave. And provoke. It was good seeing you! Provoke on what? Dead Atena? Does it have 15 feet of reach? It does.

Yeah, but you know what? You had cover last time. I don't think you can take attack of opportunity if the creature has cover. Well, you know what? I'm pretty sure. Rather than move and cast a spell, Farazza will withdraw. Okay, so Farazza

is just going to withdraw back towards the rest of the party? She's going to go at a lofty 45 degree angle up into the air. Yeah, but then you can't withdraw. Are you casting fly? No, she's an eagle. Oh, that's right. I'm sorry. Your piece is not an eagle. I forgot. She's going to flap her wings and

through the magic of Bernoulli's principle of lift, she's going to take to the air. So Will's like, I don't understand physics. Aram, noticing that it looks like the battle is all but won, starts coming forward just to make sure, and checking on Pembroke on the way. Are you okay? Do you need any healing?

Oh, no, I'm all right. Well, wait. Yes. Probably. No, I'm fine. Go ahead and take care of yourself. I'm just going to walk closer to the pit. Get me a shawl. I'd like it noted for the

record that Baron is shamelessly begging for healing. Please, please! You know that Beatles song, Please Please Me? That's a Baron one. Well, he double moves up. Maybe he can get you next time. It's Pembroke's turn. Well, he double moves up. Maybe he can get you next time. It's Pembroke's turn. Yeah, Pembroke's going to hold.

Okay. Sir Will. We got this in hand. Sir Will is going to... You know what? Sir Will is going to do total defense. Sir Will does total defense. I'm going to gamble a little to do total defense. Sir Will does total defense. I'm going to gamble a little and do total defense.

Sir Will does total defense. The slag shard has no intelligence, but it was there to protect Atena, ultimately. Now that Atena has fallen, it senses that it is no longer needed. Beautiful. And it goes back longer needed. Oh, beautiful. And it goes back into the slag. Nice. Back into the slag. He killed it.

I like that line. Back into the slag. Back into the slag. It goes. Aram rushes up and is like, does anyone need healing? I have a couple more spells left. I'm low. I'm low.

I'm low. Sir Will will ride to his side. Quick dismount Lexington. Let me roll to see if I quick dismount. Fail. He collapses to the ground next to Umlo and desperately does a heal check to see if he's alive. Nestor flies over. Baron helps with the heal check. Aids. I am a day.

Torag! Farazza comes in too because Farazza can heal. Please! Please! He starts saying a prayer and Farazza comes in too, because Farazza can heal. Please! Please! He starts saying a prayer. And Farazza rolls out into Asimar form and also helps with the heal checks. You all do the heal checks, and it's pretty easy to see that

Umlo is dead. He took it really hard on that first flurry of attacks. He was already weakened and died. Aram goes to heal Baron and who else? It's two more.

Farazza could use a little bit, but she's okay. Baron has 23 hit points. Yeah, guilt. Farazza can help heal you, too. Oh, great. Nestor, once it's clear that Omlo is dead, goes back to the statue and just starts punching and punching and punching

until his fists are bloody, exposing the bone in his hands. He comes back. All right. Sorry. Sorry. baron makes eyes at nester and invites him along if he wants he just gives him a hand wave no fuck off he says all right and in this uh this cathedral this this testament to to Minderhall's power. Past, maybe present, maybe future. He reaches down into his duster and pulls out the Tombs of Toragon, just says a quick funerary prayer

over Amla's body, and closes his eyes with his two fingers. As the prayer ends, and all of you are standing on the dais, Thirasa, Della, Sir Will, Baron, Nestor, Pembroke, and Aram, Shook, from all of this, of course. He's not a fighter.

Sir Will. From the front of the cathedral, Shook from all of this, of course He's not a fighter From the front of the cathedral You hear A low growl It echoes All the way back To where you're standing near the statue All of a sudden, a cave bear pads up the steps of the front entrance,

flanked by two stone giants carrying two huge bags. From behind them, a voice rises up. Well done. Well done. It pleases me to see that Minderhall's influence has grown enough to influence even the likes of you small folk. influence even the likes of you small folk. I can only imagine all of the lives you've taken since you've entered this valley. Now that I've seen firsthand

the destruction you've left in your wake, now that you've stolen into my cathedral, the cathedral that I single-handedly raised from the dead. Orathash walks forward, up to the cave bear and the two stone giants. Now you may think you've hindered me by murdering all of my defenders, but in fact you've done me a great service.

If the people I've surrounded myself with could not dispose of the likes of your insignificant selves, then they did not deserve to live. Especially this one here, who is no doubt plotting against me with what scraps of a feeble mind she had left to her. she had left to her. Farron, you are now the keeper of the forge. I'm sure you've learned plenty from her about the way things used to be done.

Now, I will teach you how things will be done. We have helped Volstis by growing his army, but the short-sighted storm tyrant does not appreciate nor understand the full strength of the Minderhall. Through faith and dogma, power will inevitably shift

from despots like Ian into the hands of my church, and I, not Volstis, will usher in the revolution and be the ruler of the new age of giants. Unfortunately for you people, your time as crusaders has come to an end. For all that you have done, while infused with the spirit of Ninderhall, done while infused with the spirit of Minderhall. I urge you to lay down your weapons and we will give you all a clean death in his name.

Stand against me, however, and you will suffer. He starts walking forward. And all of you know what state you're in. Near death.

Three stone giants, one of which the leader of this entire valley of people. Oh, and a cave bear. As he's walking forward, you're all sort of distracted, but you hear kind of behind you, I don't understand. I... As he's walking forward, you're all sort of distracted, but you hear kind of behind you, I don't understand. I... I don't understand.

And maybe some of you turn and you see Aram staring into the slag. It's like, what does this... What does this mean? And any of you that are close to the pit, which are all of you at this point, glance down, and you see the battle of Shinemon's fortune replaying in the slag. And Aram drops to his knees.

What does this mean? What does this mean? And you see Gristlecrack killing and dismembering Ymir on the spot, ripping him limb from limb. We go out, outside of the cathedral,

to the tent. Lork, just looking down at his missing feet in agony. With his back to him is Ymir, standing, looking at the cathedral, and smiling. We'll see you next week. Oh no. What? Oh my god. Fuck you, Troy. Fuck you. The Glass Cannon Podcast is a Powerhouse and Tate production and is an officially licensed partner of Paizo Incorporated. Giant Slayer is copyright 2015. Giant Slayer and the Pathfinder Adventure Path are trademarks of Paizo.

All Pathfinder images are property of Paizo and are used with permission.