The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 139 - Hit Me With Your Head Shot

Episode Date: January 23, 2018

A strange creature in the wilderness makes a demand the party cannot possibly agree to! For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast, a mysterious creature seeks to divide the party. I'll tell you right now, he's hostile. I think that's pretty clear by my tone. And despite Farazza's graceful plea, I hope that you would share my belief that to separate such a divine bond would be tantamount to sacrilege. Divide them he will. No! No! No! When words can no longer be trusted.

A couple of things are going to happen. Oh my God! And allies become enemies. The worst thing that could ever happen. Clever solutions. Do what you want to do. Skid's got a plan. Skid's got a plan. And bold moves.

Oh, baby, that's big. May not be enough. I am terrified. To make them whole again. Roll a very, very important fortitude save. The adventure continues. What is happening to me? Right now. Hey, everybody. Welcome back to another episode of the Glass Cannon Podcast.

It's your boy, Grant Berger, a.k.a. Baron Redheart. And I gotta be honest with you guys. I'm a little bit scared about Book 4. It's an exciting beginning, but it also means that Baron is the only Level 10 party member. And we're going straight into a frost giant encampment. I know that this is going to be Troy's favorite book because I'm sure there'll be a TPK. We've been talking tons about the new exciting developments in GCP Nation in these intros, but I'm going to keep it short and sweet

this week as a gift to you guys. All I'm going to ask you to do is visit our website, follow us on Facebook and Twitter, and leave us a review on iTunes if you haven't yet. Without further ado, here's episode 139. I can't remember the last time I put out some pawns for us to play with. Yeah, that's right. I mean, it's been a while because even when we were doing encounters towards the end of book three, they were all on roll 20. Yes. towards the end of book three,

they were all on roll 20. Yes. Maybe the Beneo fight was the last time, I believe. We've had some good old fashioned pawns out. Some pawns. And you got that beautiful Sir Will miniature on Lexington painted. And you can't use it now. It's so gorgeous.

It's on its way to Highbury. Why don't you put it out on the uh mondo mat here and we'll just we'll flash to sir will like trotting his way towards mendo there he is he rolls for initiative like for the third turn of the round we see sir will trotting towards mendo it's good to have some uh pawns back you know i'm thinking to myself uh i want to do more uh as many as much physical uh pawn work for the encounters of before as i can because i just i enjoy it a little more than roll 20 that tactile sensation well that and we're now sitting at a table right proper table we can all sit around a map and look

at it but here's the problem i'm now on i'm no longer on a body mic i'm on this this mic in front of me on a stand and so i can't like bounce around and move at the map so i have no idea uh how this is gonna work yeah it's gonna be a little bit of trial and error here as we all bump our microphones trying to move pieces it's gonna get ugly um but hopefully this is a joe edit and i won't have to worry about it i don't think it is oh it actually is yeah this is my mic stop stop work with that, O'Brien! Work with it! You know, it's tough, though,

because you're still fighting giants, so you're going to be in these huge open-air things with these beautiful maps that I might have to go back to Roll20. So be ready. You just got a brand-new cat. Cat Benatar. Yes. The black leopard.

And now you're going to have to let it go. Oh, yeah, definitely. Okay. That's 100%. That's the solution. Option B. Clear solution. Death.

Right. This guy does not look like someone you want to be around with. That's some Joe editing right there. So this thing comes out of the woods, seven feet tall if it's a yard. And I mean, it's like moving between crawling and walking or standing and walking in all fours. It's kind of ethereal a little bit. Very, very strange. I can't remember how its voice went, but it said

something to the effect, that cat is not yours to control. Let it go. This is your only warning. You guys have had a week to think about it. What do you do? Can Faraza attempt a diplomacy check? She can.

Let's role play it out. See if I give you a little bonus. I'll tell you right now, he's hostile. I think that's pretty clear by my tone. Well, Lork is also hostile too.

I mean, he has his bow out and aimed at him. That does not affect the DC. No, I know. I'm just saying like, just so you're aware,

we're all hostile right now. You sound like you want to be like, I'm hostile too. Lork's hostile too. And I will tell you that without aid or some sort of bonus, I cannot influence. I can't match the DC of a hostile creature. I trust your exceptional role. Exceptional role playing.

Your exceptional. Exceptional role playing. I don't know what that means. To really give you at least a plus one bonus. And I will allow everyone to aid if they chime in with something. Recreate a Shakespearean monologue and maybe Troy will hit you with a plus one.

This is right up your alley, Feyraza. This is some creature from who knows where. Before I start role playing, can I roll a knowledge check on what he is? Yeah, I'll allow that. Let's see. Something tells me it's not a knowledge nature. It's going to be knowledge playing.

I have no idea. I am going to. Someone else can do it. I am going to do that. I have a pretty good chance of achieving this. 25. 25. I'm going to be able to give you, is it every five over the DC?

Every five over the DC. One piece of useful information. Wait. And that doesn't, the creature's name is not the piece of useful information. No. Just to be sure. No. No, I don't know if I should tell you to start Googling the creature's name.

Good call, Matthew. I should tell you. You start Googling the creature. Good call, Matthew. I'll tell you later. It would be a bit weird to be like, all right, I don't know what that is. The name escapes me, but I know that you can throw water on it. It's weak to water. It's weak against water. I've read about that. The name is escaping me.

Yeah, I can't think. I mean, you could justify that. Your knowledge is derived from experience. You never learned the name, maybe, right? It's true. Or you would know, like, this is a general kind of creature that would be such and such. Yeah. I can see Grant on his phone there, like, just

ready to Google. You're Googling fool. Well, after I taught myself all of the languages in between this episode and last i'm ready to read any language possible so you know pembroke that this is an ancient being that some would say it's been around since time immemorial it is known as a barelu. Ah, never heard of that thing. I don't think anyone has. Well, if Pembroke shared that at all, I'm sure Lurk would hesitate with the bow.

I don't think he'd fire at an ancient creature. Yeah, I think Pembroke is like holding his hands up, you know, like everybody stop. Seems kind of pointless. And I don't i don't actually speak sylph i thought i did sylvan sylvan okay but at least for us fraza will translate very quickly for the group yeah well how did that work like if you're using someone as a translator like doing a diplomacy check how would that work oh well she's going to make the diplomacy check but you're saying like if you wanted to say something to him? Well, yeah, I have a higher diplomacy than she does.

So if I was to like try to talk to this creature and like have her translate for me, like how would that work? It would just work like that. And hopefully he's not hostile enough to at least hear you out. Okay. However, I will tell you the most important piece of information you'll need to know about this creature, which will inform all of your actions. It is incorporeal. Yeah. You figure.

Yeah. Which is not good. No. Yeah. It means it can't be defeated. Right. Simply put. So let's run.

You better leave that cat. Take the long way around. Take the long way home ferraza ferraza is going to wild shape into a black leopard oh okay and then in the car is like do you like three card which lever can we let go and she'll step up to the front and as a leopard speaks double four crusties uh wild shapes into a leopard and well she'll kind of amble up to the front and say in sylvan as a cat uh my ancient and revered friend please understand we mean no ill will. We are merely travelers. And this cat is one of our companions, a most respected member of our party. He is here through the will.

She. She is here through the will. You don't know what I'm saying. He knows the sylvan words for gender, Matthew. Everyone knows that. Is your deity still Gorim? No. Who's your deity now?

Don't know. Okay. Atheist! She is here through the will of the gods. She is most respected as we respect you and we humbly ask your pardon. Does Pembroke want to add anything to that? And she came to us, Feyrozza. Tell him.

Tell him she sought us out. She has joined of her free will. Yeah. Yeah. Pembroke says that. It's like, yes, this creature is bonded to this elf. It is a divine bond. She sought us out.

She sought him out they cannot be divided they are one this is the will of the gods would you dare defy it and I think that Kat Benatar

might have something to say too we'll finish this. Not literally. Farazza translates what Pembroke said. It soon will be. I love that those are ready to go. Yeah, of course. He's the best.

I had a week to prepare. Far's a plausible translate and she'll add um as a worshiper of the balance of the natural world i hope that you would share my belief that to separate such a divine bond would be tantamount to sacrilege. Humanity has marched through time, establishing cities, discovering arcane magic, and constantly ushering in the destruction of my people. people. Attempting to hold sway over that cat is my business, not yours.

It would not allow me to. So I know that one of you is commanding it. Roll for diplomacy. Hmm. I don't know if this is for the benefit of Cap Benatar I think it's trying to dominate

Cap Benatar 19 for me 22 for me okay so that would be we'll take the better one that'll be 24 if it helps lork we'll give it the finger now it's back down oh damn it can cat benatar roll for diplomacy just captain is she skilled in diplomacy she plays with a little ball of yarn for a few minutes and

um yeah unfortunately that is not enough to bring it down from hostile to unfriendly by one we missed by one well no it's a little bit more because it's adds its charisma bonus plus the charisma modifier so we're off by a bit uh but with good role playing good role playing from everyone and you're still off all right well oh come on oh no i didn't want to do this fight oh i really really didn't want to i was like please just i really didn't want to do it i didn't want this to happen i don't want dc 29 diplomacy check. To just make it unfriendly. It is that charismatic? No, it's just 25

plus 4. Sorry, yes, it is that guy. Only 4? No, it's 19. It's incredibly high, Troy. So, okay, what did everybody get? Oh my goodness. Let me see here.

Let's start with Baron. 25. Of course, of course. Rolled a natural 12. Pembroke? 14 for Pembroke. 14 for Pembroke. Pembroke, Professor.

I got a lork out of 19. Are we considering this mountainous terrain? Oh, absolutely. Yeah, so 19. Until I tell you different. Okay. 19. Fair.

Raza 15, 15. Okay. It's right above. So Dan Burke, right? You said 14 PEMS. Yes.

For the first time in a long time, maybe a couple of months. It is round one. And it is Baron's turn. It's so good to be back. I am terrified. Not only for this encounter, but the multi-level situation. Now we get to really see how this is going to work out.

And this guy is badass. Well, I mean, I don't think we can do anything. I mean, again, it's incorporeal. So, I just don't understand. I don't understand how we fight it. Oh, I forgot we have a wizard now and a druid. That's true. There are two problems with incorporeal.

One, only magic can hit it. You know, or magic weapons. I would say we have a specific weapon that has ghost touch and it's called brunia's love and it's been wild shaped into a panther oh yeah even when hit by spells and magic weapons though it takes half damage from a corporeal source which is all of you right now also its attacks go straight through your natural armor bonus your armor bonus your shield bonus you're allowed bonus, your shield bonus.

You're allowed to keep your deflection and force effects if you have mage armor or something, but otherwise it goes straight through. This thing has a laundry list of special abilities. Grant, you start. I'm going to get back into reading these. Well, so Baron's going to quick draw Adela. He has a thing to say, but since this guy doesn't speak common. It's a little dirty.

Quick draw Adela. Yeah, I know. He's going to rapid fire at him. Rapid fire. Misfire. Misfire. Oh, my. The worst thing that could ever happen

Oh man The highest leveled character in the group First combat of book four First roll Was it a one or just a misfire? It was a two And so With that

Can you burn a grit and still take your other attack or no? I'm just real quickly Pulling out quick, can you burn a grit and still take your other attack or no? I'm just real quickly pulling out quick clear. I can burn a grit as a move instead of a standard. So I haven't moved, so I guess I'll spend a grit to clear it. Quick clear it, right. But you won't be able to take it. But that was a full round attack action is what I declared, so I don't know if that's even okay. Full round attack action, yeah, but it got interrupted.

If you allow that, I'll spend the grit point to clear the grip i'm totally fine with that colin all right uh lork the elf it wants your cat it wants your brand new cat a cat that has a maybe a piece of your soul in it it found you when you were reincarnated yeah and now And now you're going to die with it. Yeah, I mean, Lork just has no concept of what's happening here, like I think I do. So he's just going to... He's going to... I guess if Cap Benatar attacks it, is that a magical attack? I mean, is it a magical creature?

It's not. I mean, it's like... It's not a summoned creature, so I just don't think it works that way. It is not a magical attack. Yeah. So, God. But Heart Spit is. And your bow, do you have a magical bow? Yeah, I have a magical bow.

So, I mean, I can shoot. I'm just wondering what to do with Cat right now. Sure, sure. So, first thing he'll do is. Cat's safe. Yeah, first thing he'll do is. Cat's safe. Is shoot. He'll do is... Cut, save. Yeah, first thing he'll do is... Cut, save. Is shoot.

He'll do deadly aim rapid shot. Okay. Haven't heard this one in a while. Yeah. Oh, and also I wanted to mention we got an email from Skid's friend in Denver who handed over the blue and gray dice. Oh, yes. Cole.

Cole. Cole, thank you so much for the blue and gray dice. And he wrote a great letter about how these dice are for a retired character of his. And they did a great job. They roll one sometimes. They miss sometimes. But they always rolled well when they really needed to. So thank you very much, Cole.

Let's see if this one hits right out of the gate. Natty 18. There you go. There you go. There we go. That's a 28. That's going to be a hit. On the first attack.

And is it a giant subtype? No. It is not. So I did eight points of damage. So do you want me to just have the damage? No, just tell me what the damage is. All right. So eight points of damage.

Second attack. Natural 15. 25 to hit. That is a hit. Nice. Another hit. And that's 15 points of damage. Whoa. All right. 25 to hit. That is a hit. Another hit, and that's 15 points of damage. Whoa!

Alright, and then third attack is a 14 to hit. 14 is gonna miss, but hey! Did some damage there. I hit it. Definitely hit it. I hit it. Do you want to do anything with Kat? I mean, I don't think she can do anything, right? Yeah, yeah. I think in light of being in the shadow of this

creature, I think he's gonna be like, Kat, I think you light of being in the shadow of this creature, I think he's going to be like, Cat, I think you should do whatever you want to do. Oh. It's a new lord. And Cat wants to attack. So Cat's going to move up and try to bite this thing. He'll be like, no, you're not going to dominate me. I'm with this elf here.

That is another 14, so that's a miss on the fight. It's a miss, and even if it hit, it would be a miss. It is now the Birelu's turn. Oh, no. This is nasty. Okay. Okay.

I'm scared. You fired at it. It sticks its hand out and does something towards you. Roll a will save lork. No, no, no, no. This is very important, I imagine. Maybe. Oh, no.

All right. I'm going to grab this other die from Denver, the orange one. Okay. I'm not sure what this name was, but this was supposed to be the really important one. So I'm going to grab this other die from Denver, the orange one. Okay. I'm not sure what this name was, but this was supposed to be the really important one. So I'm going to pull this out. I have a very low will save. Let's see. I won't blame it on the die if it doesn't work out.

That's a fail. 11. Shoot. All right. Everyone around sees this thing outstretch its hand at Lork, and then Lork, you start convulsing a little bit, and you look totally dazed. Is it an enchantment effect? Actually? It is.

Mind-affecting enchantment. So it's 13. Damn it! I thought it was more than plus 2. Well, thanks for interrupting me for that. Glad we cleared that up before. So you're like, convulsing a little bit, you look a little dazed. I'm sorry.

It's 15. It's plus four. You start looking up at the sky. Very high DCs. And all of a sudden, you drop your bow. No. And your nails start elongating. And your teeth start elongating.

And it looks like he's turning into a wolf. Oh. A couple of things are going to he's turning into a wolf. Oh. A couple of things are going to happen. Oh, my God. You are dazed for one round. Oh, no. You also gain a bite attack and two claw attacks that deal damage appropriate for your size.

And for the remainder of the spell's duration, you behave as if under simultaneous rage and confusion spells. Oh, my God. Attacking with its natural weapons in preference to other actions. So, first of all, days for a round. Second of all, on your following round, you roll on the confusion table. Confusion table is either do nothing, attack the nearest person, which will be your ally, or one of them. And then when you do attack, you rage and go bite

claw claw. He's a werewolf. It's a power known as Moonstruck. That's awesome. That is great. And a wonderful movie. And a wonderful movie. Alright, so Lork, you got a lot going on over there. I lost my girl. I a wonderful movie. Alright, so Lork, you've got a lot going on over there.

I lost my girl! I lost my hand! Danny, give me the knife! I'm going to cut my throat! I'm going to do it, Ronnie! Remind me about Dazed again. It's like, can't do anything. You have the GM screen. It's not on there? It's not on the GM screen. I'm looking it up right now. Dazed, I think, is you don't do anything.

You just stand there, but you don't lose your AC bonus. This creature is... Oh, no. I'm looking at Dazzle. The creature is unable to act normally. A dazed creature can take no actions, but has no penalty to AC. This is what happened to Lork in the Uyghur fight. Yes.

So this is not his first dazed rodeo. Boom. Takes Lork out of the fight. But this one is a little different. And it is now Faraz's turn. It stays there. Doesn't even attempt to move away or close the distance. Faraz is still a leopard and is going to...

That's right. Do you have a leopard name for yourself when you go into leopard form? I feel like every time you wild shape, you should have a new name for your form. Yeah, it's Faraz. Okay, good, good, good. I put you on the spot there. Very clever, Matthew. Thank you.

I won't write it down. Farazza is going to kind of seeing Lork transform into a werewolf. I expect she would probably want to stay clear for a little while. Sure. She's going to gallop off to the right and she's going to cast Call Lightning.

Nice. Well done. We're outside after all call lightning all right this will do 50 damage but man well it's magic he's corporeal though yes no but he's no no no it's a magic magic spell should go through even when hit by spells or magic weapons it only takes half damage from a corporeal source except for channel energy. Is he considered the source or is the sky considered the source? No, he's the source. I'm the source.

I'm the man. You're the source. Yeah, this is why this is so awful is because you need channel positive energy. That's what you need against these incorporeal creatures. Or ghosts. Remember the ghost touch armor? Yeah, ghost touch dagger. Yeah, ghost touch dagger.

Just checking. Is the area stormy? You know what? It looks like it's getting a little bit cloudy out. Yeah, go start Dagger. Just checking. Is the area stormy? You know what? It looks like it's getting a little bit cloudy out. There you go. Some bonuses there. Yeah, so if it's... I'll roll on the table to see if it's stormy, to be fair.

There we go. It is a little stormy. There we go. There we go. So it's 3D10 instead of 3D6. Oh, man, I'm just giving this to you. Big difference. I'm just giving it to you. But you get a reflex save. Okay. For half, right? For half. Which would then be for quarter. Oh, it's 3D10 instead of 3D6. Oh, man, I'm just giving this to you. Big difference. Give it a 10.

But you get a reflex save. Okay. For half, right? For half. Which would then be for quarter. Oh, it's reflexes are terrible. DC17. Oh, 18.

Actually rolled pretty shitty. Okay. All right, so 3D10. Hang on. So it's one quarter of 3D10. Roll a 30. 10. So two points of damage snake eyes box cars which one is it moon struck and

lightning strikes okay okay it's time for mr wizard pembroke all right pembroke is going to step to the side a little bit. And he is going to follow Feras' lead and also unleash a lightning bolt. It is a DC 16 reflex save for a quarter.

Made it. 29 points of damage, so 9 points of damage? 7 points of damage so 9 9 points of damage 29 7 points of damage 7 points of damage

thank you Matthew Jesus there's just too much going on alright okay I never knew that round 1 has ended

it is now the top of round 2 it's gonna go Baron Lork Biorelu Feyra, Pembroke. Lork is dazed this round. Baron, you're up. God, I wish I was a level 12 anti-deer person, but I'm not.

So he's going to rapid fire again and hopefully does not misfire. First attack. I don't know. Is there touch AC on an incorporeal creature, Troy? That's what I'm wondering. Sure. All right. Then it's a 20 to hit.

20 to hit is a miss. Ooh, against touch? Man. Second attack is absolutely a hit with a 27. I would say run, but I'm a lycanthrope. 16 points of damage. 16 points of damage. 16 points of damage. Okay.

The final attack will not hit. Through two rounds here, you've noticed that it has some sort of damage reduction. In addition? On top of the incorporeal. So not all of this is going through. Is any of it going through? Like for the spell? Like the two points? The spell stuff went through. Oh, okay. But

Baron's gun and your arrow didn't do full damage. And it is... We should run. Lorcster. Dazed. Dazed. Cat Benatar? Cat Benatar is gonna withdraw. Withdraw? Yeah. Okay.

Man, it's already back to me. I'm just... I don't even know going to withdraw. Withdraw. Yeah. Okay. Man, it's already back to me. I'm just, I don't even know where to start. Faye Raza, you're no longer in, oh, you're both lucky. I forgot it also has spell resistance. I didn't have you guys roll on that. Oh, my goodness. Hands off the chess piece. Does that apply to Call of Lightning?

Because the spell isn't on it. Do you still roll spell resistance on that yeah any spell yeah you roll it it's not any spell it's if it's targeted and call lightning is targeted this always happens when there's like 15 special abilities I always forget why I'm like oh yeah spell resistance oh yeah DR

okay it is going to step up and attempt to do... Can it charge at Baron? Yeah. All right. It charges and tries to gore you with its antlers.

All right. It's going to be 31 to hit. That's a hit, Troy. This is not good. This is so bad. This is not good. We should have just run immediately. It's incor hit, Troy. This is not good. This is so bad. This is not good. We should have just run immediately. It's incorporeal.

But is it going to chase us? Like, if it wants to cat that bad? Maybe. It's worth a try running away. All right. This one is a powerful charge. 2d8 plus 4d6 force damage. Because it is a force of nature.

Oh, my God. It's how you say a force of nature. All right. I see 13 plus 2 is 15, 16, 17, 18, 19 plus a 6 on a d6, 25 points of damage. It just antlers right into Baron, lifts him off the ground a little bit, and then brings him back down. That's nearly a quarter of my health in one blow. Gord!

And it is Feyroza's turn. Okay, so she'll do another lightning strike, so I'll roll spell resistance for you. Sure. 12. It was on an 18, and then... Oh, no! No!

Pembroke. Wait, so I'm assuming that's a miss. Yes. You can move. I know. I'm trying to set up the next thing. Or swift action. Oh, no!

Free action? Toss in a free action? To unwild shape is still standard action, right? Yes. Okay. I'll stay right. Okay. There's probably a feat that allows you to wild shape.

Yeah, I don't think there is. There might be. Yeah. Maybe it happens later in Life for a Druid. You get to swift. All right, Pimbs. Can I do a history check? Just you mentioned being ancient.

See if there's any kind of insight that I could gain from what I know about it. Any kind of... Sure, sure, sure. Alright. We must defeat this creature with knowledge. Uh, 22. 22.

Um, don't know where you read this, but somewhere along the way you know what they hate most is any signs of civilization. If you guys were just a bunch of lunkheads that rolled out here into the country like barbarians, they probably wouldn't bother you. They have a real disdain for any sort of trappings of civilization. Metal worked tools and nice fine clothing. And just the fact that you even act civilized towards it, it hates that. It's against what it thinks nature is all about. Okay.

So he shouts out, it hates civilization, civilized people. All the trappings of civilization metal metal work tools weapons does anyone have any applications of this knowledge

that they can think of drop our weapons run away drop your weapons take off all your clothes and act like Simeon's turn on the

gorilla channel this is bad Pams it's still your turn alright turn on the gorilla channel alright so Pams it's still your turn alright I'm gonna unleash my second of two lightning bolts spell resistance first

oh spell resistance natural 20 oh baby there you go alright What was this one? Natural 20. Oh, baby. There you go. There you go. All right. Oh, man.

Let's see a couple sixes. Some of those orange dots. They're called pips? 35. Oh, 35 points of damage. All right. Beautiful. Gentlemen's, what do we got?

17 there. All right. Could you roll for the reflex? Oh, the reflex save. Come on. 91. 91. 91.

21. Okay. Right. Okay. All right. It's taken some damage. Look, you just got to hit it with your arrow a couple more times. A bow's on the ground, dog.

Round three. Baron. Baron immediately calls down a swift judgment upon this dear person and proclaims his own purity in Torag's light and gains a bonus on his saves, just in case I also try to get turned into a fucking weird wolf thing. I'll tell you what. That's pretty smart. Well, I mean, it's in melee with you.

Does that provoke? I'll take a five-foot step back. Five-foot step, that's fine. Always allow a retconned five-foot step. Swift action in addition to a full round action. Possible? Swift with a full round, sure. Absolutely.

So I'm going to target. Toss in a three while you're at it. I'm going to target this creature's head. And by targeting a creature's head, it is damaged normally but confused for a round. So try to buy us a credit of time.

Wait, wait. Wait, didn't you... You can't now shoot, right? Swift action. That's why I was asking if I could do the full round with it. Oh, I'm sorry. I thought the targeting was swift. Got it, got it. Dammit, Joe. I'm confused. Don't you know exactly how gunslingers work? Gunslinger Inquisitors? I thought the targeting was swift. Got it. Got it. Dammit, Joe. I'm confused. Don't you know exactly how gunslingers work? Gunslinger inquisitors?

I sure as hell don't. All right. So if this happens, what happens to it? But damage normally, but it is confused for a round. Oh, man. So I'm hoping to just bias sometimes. Oh, man. So here it goes.

That is a hit. That is a 26 to hit. That is a hit. That is a 26 to hit. That's a hit. Yeah. And the damage on top is 15 points of damage. All right. Beautiful. Some damage there.

Maybe it was damage. Maybe it wasn't. But now it's confused. Oh, baby, that's big. Lork, speaking of confused, roll a D100. All right. Lork, speaking of confused, roll a D100. All right.

Lork is going to do nothing but babble incoherently. Oh, good. Ah, okay. That would be worse. It is the Borrello's turn. It could be worse. He could attack Baron. And the Borrello will also roll on the table of confusion.

Yeah. Let me guess. Act normally. Let me see here. Yeah. Act normally or attack the nearest creature to it. Those are all bad. Do nothing or what's the other one? Deal damage to self.

That would be great. Oh, that'd be great. Could kill himself. Okay. Here we go. Should I? Can I throw in a bottle cap on this roll? You sure can.

Yeah. All right. That's a good one. You've got the one with two. What do we do here? Yeah. How are you going to roll this, Troy? You roll twice and's a good one. You're the only one with two. What do we do here? Yeah, how are you going to rule this, Troy? You roll twice and we choose which one? You choose which one.

Absolutely. Beautiful, Grant. It's a higher chance of him hitting himself. Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself. God, that would be amazing. This is really smart. You might get that bottle cap back for some swift judgment.

All right, here we go. I can't find... Does he have DR5 against himself? All right, yeah. He's magical. He's incorporeal. Oh, that's right. I can't find Does he have DR5 against himself? Alright, yeah. He's magical. He's incorporeal. Oh, that's right. It's not an incorporeal. The first one is a 51. The second one is a 29.

51 is harm self. The other one is babbles incoherently. Harm self! Harm yourself! Harm yourself! Here's your bottle cap, Troy. Thank you, sir. 1d8 points of damage plus strength modifier to self with item in hand. Oh, so he claws himself.

Yeah. And it's 1d8 plus his strength modifier? Yes. I feel like the claw would overrule that, wouldn't it? With a natural weapon? No, I don't think so. Would overrule what? The 1d8 plus. No, I mean, if they're saying it deals 1d8 points of damage, I don't think so. Would overrule what? No, the 1d8. That's too bad.

No, I mean, if they're saying it deals 1d8 points of damage, I don't see why. I mean, if you had a greatsword in your hand, it would still be 1d8 points of damage. It says how much damage it deals. This creature is crazy. I'm going to have to look this up later because I'm cross-referencing Hero Lab and the actual sheet from where it comes. It has no strength listed listed but a plus six bonus oh what so one plus six i'm sure the strength is just somewhere where you haven't seen no i'm looking on the paper strength hyphen oh and then on here lab strength hyphen it's because it's

incorporeal that makes sense it can't it can't interact yeah but it wouldn't have strength against it in another incorporeal but he's going to do full damage to himself. 1d8 plus 6. Okay. All right. Beautiful. Natural 1. Oh, man.

I always roll 1s. That's still 7 points of damage. That's good. That is 7 points of damage. And it bought a round. Bought a round. Hey, Roz, I see you smiling. When Grant was talking, you were looking at me like, I know what I'm going to do.

I know what I'm going to do. No, it wasn't. It's not. I just discovered that I, too, can cast you smiling. When Grant was talking, you were looking at me like, I know what I'm going to do. I know what I'm going to do. No, it wasn't. It's not. I just discovered that I, too, can cast Moonstruck. Oh. Oh, wow. I thought that helps us now. Well, it's fun, though.

Good to know. Now you know how cool it is. This has been Fun Facts. Fun Facts with Raz and Alcid. What do you got? Another Lightning Strike. Okay. Roll for Spell Resistance.

Natural 17. It's 25. That's going to do. There you go. That's going to do. Roll your Reflex 25. That's going to do. There you go. That's going to do. Roll your reflex save. Tell me what to do. Please roll your reflex save.

29. All right, so it's 19 points of damage, so you take 9 points of damage. Okay, all right. I will tell you right now, it has taken some damage. 4 points of damage. No, I reduced it. To a quarter? Yeah.

So we've been mostly telling him our full damage, and Troy's been doing it. No, that's impossible. I do. 15, 19. Just tell me the full damage. Oh, no, you're right. So nine damage. No.

Not four damage. No. Yeah, the full damage was 19. I see. Well, now I'm all confused. I'm all entrenched. So you... All right, good.

Awesome. Things are happening. It's almost below half. This is just brutal brutal Pembroke You should have just given him the cat You can get another Nature's ally But the name

Yeah the name is good I did all the drops I downloaded all the drops I can't do this Just find another cat Name it Cat Lepre It's worth dying for Cat Benatar 2

I don't know how to get rid of the cat What am I supposed to do? Wouldn't your god be... Oh, you have no god, though. But he'd be really angry if you just gave up your animal companion. I say god is dead. That was from the Crucible. This guy's a dick.

Pembroke is going to start casting Summon Monster 4. There we go. All right. Bring another combatant into the fight. Into the fray. Another incorporeal. Oh, he is corporeal. But hey.

Round four. Baron. Baron's going to shoot this dude in the head one more time. There we go. Come on. Just keep him confused. I have an extra grip point with my headband of vast wisdom. Wow.

So I'll have one left after this. Come on, hit him. There you go. There you go. Yes. Bam. Bam. This is so huge. He's confused. Bam. 16 points of damage. Nice on, hit him. There you go. There you go. Bam. Bam. He's confused.

Bam. 16 points of damage. Nice. Okay. Okay. It's not, it doesn't really cut through, but the confusion is there. Larkman needs you to roll the confused table. That bullet did zero damage? Yes. 16 points

did zero damage. 16 points halved is 8 And it is DR 10 or something Something like that This is ridiculous Lork is up Lork is up and confused He is going to act normally

Oh So you can attack him With your claws Yeah but it's not going to do anything What do you mean? He's going to say, let's go. So you wake up out of confusion. Yeah, he wakes up out of confusion for a second, a heartbeat.

I mean, I don't see what the point of attacking with claws is. He can't do any damage. I'm just going to withdraw with Kat. We're going to get away. Withdraw? Yeah, we're going to back up like 20 feet. Are you still a wolf thing, though? Yeah.

Wow. Weird. During the final round of the spell's duration, the target is again dazed as it returns to its normal state. Yeah, I have no idea how long it's going to last. Yeah. So you just, you and cat. It could be minutes.

We just back off. We back away from this thing. 20 feet? 20 feet, yeah. All right, I did it. He's just like, back it away. What is happening to me? Too many changes in too short

of a time. Just had to check his caster level to make sure I knew how long that spell was going to last. Longer than the combat, I would think. Alright, he's going to roll on the confusion table. Am I throwing ball caps or just take it as is? Didn't do a ton of damage to himself.

Still some. Well, it stops him from acting normally is the big use of the bottle cap if you have it. Maybe. And here it comes. Seven. Act normally. Oh, boy. Claw, claw to Baron Berenson.

Five- foot step. First claw. Ooh, 21. Miss. All right. Amazing. Are you using your armor bonus and everything like that? Oh, then that's probably...

Is it a touch attack? It's just a touch attack, right? Well, it says his attacks pass through natural armor, armor, and shields. But it would be a touch attack. So, yeah, a touch attack. I don't know why they don't just say that. Yeah, my touch is 18. Okay.

So that hits. So this thing's going to kill us all. Six points of force damage. One point of regular damage. Second attack. Oh, right. Forgot about that. Also hits.

Oh, God. I can see that one behind my screen. Ten points of force damage. Ten points of force damage. Four points of regular damage. It's just speaking to you in a language you don't understand. What's it say? It say, I'm mad at you guys. Feyraza.

Let's do another lightning. Spell resistance. Okay. 22. That'll do. lightning. Spell resistance. Okay. 22. That'll do. That'll just about do. Oh, God. So it's 11 full.

So reflex save to half. Reflex save for half any half half. Okay. So two points of damage. Two points of damage. Just really chopping down that tree. Pembroke has summoned a monster four. Yes.

Oh, please, Jesus. Let's see how many there are. Oh, how many? Okay, so two. You guys see two lantern archons. What? I'm here. Yes, yes.

I want to see a picture. Behind it. They're really cool. We murdered one once in Runelords. Oh, these are weird. They're like flying symbols. Yeah, they're weird. Lanterns?

That's the picture. You want them both there and not flanking? Oh, weird. Crazy? Yeah, Archons are strange. Well, that's flanking with you. I'm going to move in a little bit, but you can do whatever you want. All right, so you pull out these two lantern Archons to flank, help flank with Baron. Yes. And they get their attacks?

Yes. All right. God damn it. I am excited to see these guys in action. Okay. Does she not care, by the way, that I'm a leopard? I thought that would be cool. He.

Yeah, get it right. Yeah, I thought he'd be somewhat connected to the druid, the animal shaping and some form. No, nothing. It's just combat. Just straight to combat. He's just a dick. Yeah, the failed diplomacy.

He doesn't really care. So one of them does a spell-like effect. It casts aid on Baron. So that gives you eight points of temporary hit points and a plus one morale bonus on

attack rolls and saves against fear effects. Got it. And the other one, I don't and a plus one morale bonus on attack rolls and saves against fear effects. Got it, got it. And the other one, I don't really think it can do any damage to him, but it's going to go ahead and attack. Okay. It's going to cast a couple of light rays at this thing. First one is a miss.

Second one is a miss. So miss Yeah it was a miss So miss is twice Miss is twice Light rays what is that? A touch attack Range touch Round five Baron Oh and

Oh sorry Pembroke I'm sorry Use a standard action to teleport 40 feet behind this thing What? Teleports With his Dimensional 40 feet behind this thing. What? Teleports.

With his dimensional... Sorry, dimensional steps ability. Dimensional steps. Is that a level 8 ability? Yes, that is something as a conjurer, it is something he gains at 8th level. Conjurer! We have elderly nightcrawler. Yes.

So he just gets out of there. Bamf, bamf. All right. And now this thing is surrounded by two strange Archons. Round five, Baron. And we're saying that my 16 points of damage on that other attack didn't even get through, right? Did not even. It did nothing.

It did nothing. So Baron's going to full withdraw. Full withdraw. Towards which direction? Towards Lork? Towards Pembroke. True now. Is the way Lork is going back away where we came from, or is the way that Pembroke is going?

Pembroke is going forward. Lork is going backward. All right. I'm going to... I'm thinking that the eye of its attention is still on Cat Benatar. So I'm going to kind of try to end up right about there. Okay. Which is adjacent to, but not as far away as Pembroke got with his dimensional step.

All right. Lork, you're running away, but you just feel really confused again. He's so confused. Six, act normally. All I wanted was to not act normally, so I didn't have to deal with this nonsense. I think act normally is the best thing. Attack your nearest thing, you'd have to attack Cat Benatar. No, you do not.

You don't attack your animal companions? Animal companions are considered part of yourself For the purposes of this So yeah I would never have to attack Kep Benatar And having no magical abilities whatsoever The inability To do over 16 points of damage In any single attack

I don't even have my bow I can't even handle it Bow's gone oh shit if you guys take off The bow's gone. Oh, shit. If you guys take off, the bow's gone. No, not necessarily. Oh, interesting. Do what you want to do. Skid's got a plan. Skid's got a plan. Alright, so

yeah, Lork is just gonna he's just, him and Kat are just gonna start taking the long way around to get back around where Pembroke is and Baron. Okay, alright. This is interesting. So Feyraza's just running around him in circles.ke is and Baron. Okay, all right. So this is interesting. So Feyraz is still up in there. It's surrounded by the Archons, which may give you enough time if you can get into run speed. But this is really interesting.

I have no idea what's going to happen. Yeah, you know what? Lork is actually going to tell because the Cat Benatar has a special ability called Sprint. And he's going to tell Cat Benatar to just sprint out of sight until, like, for an hour. You know what I mean? Like, for a while. Just get out of here. So I'm going to send her away.

I wish we had Galabras. He would be very nice to have right now. A cleric. A cleric in general would be great. Any cleric. But I like Galabras because I know him. nice to have right now. A cleric. A cleric in general would be great. Any cleric, but I like Galabras because I know him. Because we know him and he's a good guy.

Kep Benatar runs away and Lork will start making his way around to the casters. Okay. As a lycanthrope. It is the Borrello's turn. He is going to attempt to just claw at these two archons to clear some space. So he'll attack the first one.

Okay. Are they both flanking him, or are they both right next to him? They're both flanking, yeah. 23 to hit. That is a hit. All right, so he does 12 points of damage to the first one. Is he evil? He is not. Okay.

Hmm. I bet he's neutral. Neutral, yeah. Second attack, natural 20 on the second Archon. Okay. I would assume he's not a named creature, so... This thing's not even named? 17 points of damage on the crit with the claw.

Okay. So they have DR 10, so that's two points and seven points. All right. That's pretty good. This may buy you the time you need to get out of Dodge, but Confused Lork is going to make things difficult. It is Feyraza's turn. Feyraza is going to do another lightning bolt,

and then she's going to lope around towards Pember. Okay. She's still a panther. 20 for spell resistance. 20 is no good. Well, I was only gonna do like two points of damage anyway. Yeah, that's true. Boring conversation anyway.

Lork, we got company! We got company! And she'll kind of angle towards Lork. Okay. 40 feet? What's your movement as a leopard? 30. and she'll kind of angle towards lork okay 40 feet what's your movement as a leopard 30 30 see run away towards lork Pembroke

all right so the archon one of the archons moves over to where lork dropped his bow picks it up or at least hovers near it, and teleports back to where Pembroke is. Oh, awesome. Pembroke grabs the bow. Marines, we are leaving!

And the other one just, you know, attacks. 23 against touch AC. 23 against touch is a hit? Okay. There you go, Light Ray. Seven points of energy damage. That'd be a fun name. And Cyclone Missiles.

If you named one of the Archons. This is Light Ray. Yeah. This is Ray and Light Ray. No, it's Larry and Leonard, the Lanchon Archons. All right, so it takes a little damage and it is round six.

All right, so you have all backed off from it. Right now, you're all kind of heading towards the direction of Pembroke, but you've surrounded it in multiple directions.

Well, we were heading in a direction. This thing came out, harassed us, and now we've sort of gotten around it and now we've sort of gotten around it. And now we're running off. And now we're continuing in the direction we were headed.

Yeah, we're running off in the direction we were already going. Right. And no one is trying to draw it off or anything like that. Right. I mean, yeah. I didn't know if sending Cap Benatar away would take its attention or make it chase after her. Right. And I thought that she could outrun it with the sprint ability.

And there's still one Archon up in its face, right? Yep. All right. Baron, what do you got? Baron's going to run, baby. Let's go another 40 feet. Well, you can run. You can actually run.

What is that, three times? Four times. Four times? Well, are you wearing medium armor? I am wearing medium armor. Three times. All right, so 60 feet. 60 feet.

60 feet. So Baron just takes off. Lork, roll on the confusion table. Oh, no, please don't attack. Please don't do it. Oh, 92. Oh, I think that is attack nearest creature, isn't it? Yep, attack nearest creature.

Who is nearest to you? Pembroke. Claw, claw, bite. You can't get to him first. I have to get to him. I can't get to him in one move. I can come up to him, double move right next to him. Can't charge

at him. Yeah, I could charge. Charge, no. Bite. It's played by the rules, Joe. I may not be able to see the table, but I know what's going on. You're such a bad person. Natural three. There we go. Nice. Lork just comes up and tries to take a little chunk out of Pembroke. He's like, I'm so sorry!

He tries to bite you. Can't control myself! All right. The Borello now. This is tough. This is very... Better chase after that cat. Very tough. That's the plan, I think. All right, so the Archon

is right up in its business, and it looks like Lork and, I was going to say Galabras, Lork and Pembroke are- That's a throwback. A little throwback. How far away are you guys at this point? About 50 feet. 50 feet.

Roughly. Okay, and the rest of you- With the intention to be a lot further soon. Sure, sure, sure. If only intentions had a section in the core rule book. Look it up in the index real quick. Intentions.

Intentions. Feyraza and Baron have a pretty safe distance and Cat Benatar is gonzo. Gonzo. It doesn't feel good about this situation

because as far as it can see, you guys are all running off in different directions because right now only Lork and Pembroke are together. Right. Baron's another 60, 100 feet past us. It's really looking to see where Cat Benatar went.

And so it's looking past the Archon to see where it went. Lork is... Oh, no, he's confused. Lork is confused. He's trying to bite Pembroke. So it turns to Lork. The Birelu turns to Lork and Pembroke and just looks at the both of you.

It looks at Lork in your bestial shape and it kind of smiles and says something that Feyraza might be able to understand. If you want it, be it. And casts a spell on Lork. Roll a very, very important fortitude save. I'll give you my bottle cap.

I have a bottle cap. Let's put two on there. We'll put two on there? Two caps. Two caps? What's your fortitude bonus? Plus six. Yeah.

Apparently. We've never done this before, multi-caps, but I will definitely allow it for this. You'll allow it? Yep. So that's a total of three rolls. Three rolls. And a natural 20 is an automatic save, right? Yes.

Yes. On a saving throw, natural 20 is automatic. You got three rolls. Could it be that bad? Hey, maybe take a chance. Just roll what you got. He said it was bad. And he doesn't normally. He lies all the time. He Just roll what you got. He said it was bad. And he doesn't normally.

He lies all the time. He does lie all the time. He's an inveterate liar. Well, he said if you want it, be it. He's not prone to hyperbole. If he's going to turn me permanently into a cat, I'm going to roll. Just stab you in the neck again. And then you'll come back to something else.

Yeah, that's an easy way to do it. You've got a lot of options. You've got a lot of options. You're like Baleful Polymorph or something and it's going to turn you into a monkey. You can always just reincarnate. Give me that bottle cap. If it is. All right, I'm going to put mine in.

I'm putting mine in as well. Thank you, Skid. Three rolls. I'm pulling out my D20, which is terrible. Pulling out Cole's blue and gray one from Denver, which would happen to be on a natural 20 as I grabbed it. Okay, all right. And then the famous orangey one from Denver, which always

looks yellow to me, bro. That never rolls below 12. Remember, that's the one that never rolls below 12. Do you want to know the DC right off the bat? Sure. Now that you've made your decisions? Yeah. DC 19. Oh, that's not that bad. You could do that. Not that bad. I can actually, I easily do that. Let's see. Joe can easily roll that. Here we go. I'll roll it

on the table. Ooh, Natty 19. There we go. I'll roll it on the table. Ooh, Natty 19. There we go. Wasn't that the orange? Natty 19. 25. 25. 25.

Yeah, right, right. That's an expensive Bob's cap. Was it Baleful Polymorph? It was indeed Baleful Polymorph. I remember this well. I turned Matthew

into a rat in Jade Region. Oh, that's right. Oh, I forgot about that. He did it when I wasn't there. Right. That's the worst part. And I thought, I was like,

how did it go today? And he texted back, yeah, it turned into a rat. I thought he was kidding. You are permanently a rat. Wait, really? Oh my God. I was going to turn you

into a house cat. Yeah. A small little 1HD house cat. And the thing was, they also say, I'm sorry, I should also say that 19 was the orange amazing die

that never rolls below 12. So thank you so much. Were the other ones fails? No. Cole's came up as a 16, and mine was, of course, a fail. It was. It was an 18. It was an 18.

It was a fail. Joe, you're sitting right near a window. You can just toss it right out. I've had this one for years. Huge. Huge. Can only do that once per day. And the thing about Baleful Polymorph, you have to roll a save again later.

If you make that second save, you retain all of your abilities and whatnot. If you lose that second save, you are just a house cat. You think you're a cat. Oh, my. You're a cat. Just run off into the woods. See ya. Yeah, it's like you retain your mental stats if you make the second save.

Right. Because Otoko made the second save. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, and he was casting spells as a rat or doing something. I can't remember. He was still using it. Shaddling or something. No, I was able to cast spells because you made me roll a linguistics check to see if I could form.

I looked up rat anatomy. I was like, can they mimic human sounds? That's some fairytale stuff right there. All right. It took a five-foot step to do that to get away from the Archon. It is Feyraza's turn. Feyraza is going to... Lord's going to say from the Archon. It is Feyraza's turn. Feyraza is going to... Lord's going to say,

She's going to gallop off as Panther, but only as a move action. She'll call lightning, because there's range on that. Sure, sure. So spell resistance. Fail. I dropped the die. He was going to roll it, and he accidentally dropped it.

It was like, I'll keep whatever it is. It was a miss. And Baron, you could move 40 feet with your armor, right? Not 30? Last time? No, I could move a full four times my... Yeah, yeah, I told him off mic that it's actually four times. Only if you're wearing heavy armor is it three times.

Ah, okay, that's what I want to check. Pembroke and the Archons. Oh, I love that band. and the Archons. Oh, I love that band. Well, the one the Archon that stayed behind is going to move around to block the creature from following us.

Pembroke and the Archon. Pembroke is going to spend he's going to how far away is Baron now? Baron's like 100 feet away. From where you are? Yeah. He's about 80 feet away. Okay, so Pembroke is going to do dimensional steps boom out to him the archon is going to teleport boom right next to baron uh so the three works all

out of targets yeah he's gonna have to go after the guy oh no i didn't think about this uh and here's the next round baron you're up you. You know Lork is helpless in this situation, but you guys are gone. This is beyond my capabilities. And this guy has had second chances. He's had third chances. He's had four chances. We got to go. We got to stop these giants, man.

I wish we had Galabras with us. So he's just going to move another 80 feet. Lork, roll on the confusion table and man, you better roll to act normally. I would love to roll a 1 to 25 on here to act normally. Come on, Lork. Nope. Oh, no.

Oh, no. 76. Attack nearest creature. Is it me? No, it's the guy. It's the Archon. It's the Archon. Oh, it is. You're right. Crap. Alright, so he'll run back and he'll charge and bite the Archon. This is insane.

And he misses. He misses? He couldn't even hit the Archon? No. Couldn't hit the broadside of an Archon. Natural six. Okay. I want to check something here real quick. Actually, it is flanked. The Archon. The Archon. So that would be a 14.

Yeah. Does that hit? The Archon? Yeah. Does a 14 hit the Archon, Skip? I don't think so. No, it doesn't. Okay. All right.

It is the Borrello's turn. How far away is Lork from the Borello? Ten feet. Ten feet. There's an Archon between. Yeah, the Archon's right in between. All right. He will attack the Archon.

All right. One more round. First claw hits. Second claw hits. So we'll just go ahead and roll 6d6 for both hits. Well, you've got to do them separately. Oh, you do. Oh, that's right, because of the spell reserve.

Okay. 15 for the first one. Okay. 11 for the second one. Okay. Still up. Still up. Beautiful.

Love that DR. Huge. And it is Feyraza's turn. Feyraza is going to cast Volcanic Storm. What? Whoa. What? Whoa. What? And it's got a 20-foot radius, but she'll put the edge of it at the Borrello

and just start raining down ash and fire. Does everyone get hit by it? Or no, you're keeping it. I'm keeping Larkin the Archon out of it. Oh, that's something. And that just stays. So I'm going to then keep running. And what does it do?

Any damage? 2d6 points of fire damage and 3d6 points of bludgeoning damage. But it's all magical, so it should bypass DR, right? Bypass DR is just going to be 50% because he's in Corporeal. Roll on the damage table.

Our table is the damage table. Okay, so... Yeah, let's see. Give her something and you're like, I hope no one heard that. I was going gonna say... You know what? I'll make a joke.

It's actually two tables pushed together, to be clear. Nine points of magical bludgeoning and four points of magical fire damage. All right.

There you go. And then Farazza will keep galloping off. You know what? Actually, Farazza... Did you roll for spell resistance? No.

But that's not a targeted spell, right? Does that count as a targeted spell? Oh, it's not. No, I think you're okay. Well, it'll say. Spell resistance, no, or spell resistance, yes. It should say no. It says spell resistance, yes. Really? That's all that matters. I don't understand that spell, then.

There you go. Made it. Farazza, however, is going to gallop back towards Lork. Oh. Ooh. Rescue mission. Rescue mission. Okay.

This is huge. I can't. I'm not going to metagame and see if I can get, like, within as close. She's going to get as close as she can to Lork. How far can you move? 30 feet. Okay. Gallops back. Panther.

Faraza. Pembroke and the Archons. Okay, Pembroke, and the Archons. Okay. Pembroke. Oh, shit. All right. Pembroke is actually going to... We're now like 240 feet away from you.

Well, no. I haven't gone with you yet. Okay. I'm about 150. You're about 150 or so. All right. So Pembroke is going to Dimensional Step back to Lork. What is going on?

What? And just, like, grab him by the arm in preparation for something else. And the Archon comes with. And the Archon comes with. Okay. Leaving a clean opening. Clean opening to take Lork out. Lork!

No! No, no, no. The other Archon. The one that went with Pembroke. Oh, the other one. Okay. The other one stays. Pembroke and the Archon. The one that went with Pembroke. Oh, the other one. Okay. Yeah, yeah. The other one stays.

Pembroke and the Archons. The Archons. That's right. You can't forget the bass player. Yeah. You always forget the bass player. Archon on the... Yeah, the other Archon ends up right next to the Borrello.

Okay. Okay. Larry. Larry. Baron. New round. I'm not as frustrated as Joe, but I don't know what to do because I don't have the tools. Fire at the sky.

A second Borrello. Damn you, Toreg. Yeah, so Baron's just going to hold. He's going to cast Cure Light Wounds on himself. Sure. Cure Light. Okay. Baron's going to cast Curelight Wounds on himself, sure. Curelight, okay. Just to cure.

Baron's going to Baron. But he's going to trust in the wizened expertise of Pembroke to get Lork out of this sticky wicket. All right, that is 10 points of healing. This is huge. Now, with Dimensional Step, do you move a certain distance or do you move close to a friend? No, it's a certain number of five foot steps per day that I can use. That's so cool. But how far

can you dimensional step? It's a total of 250 feet per day. Oh, great. 250 feet per day. It is Lork's turn. Roll on the confusion table. Lork's turn. Come on. Low roll. Low roll. Nope.

Same thing. 92. Attack nearest creature. There's three creatures right nearby. Sounds like a roll of a D3. I keep rolling super high. You want a D3, Joe? It's really just two that you would hit. Yeah.

Give me that D3. It's Pembroke or it's the Archon. Yeah. Well, there's two Archons. Okay. Oh, yeah. You're right. So it's just two of them.

Roll D4. All right. It is the Archon again. If you kill the Archon, it will leave the Borrello in opening to attack you. Well, yeah, it's not like this is strategy. Right. All right. First swing.

First swing. Miss. With the claw. Second swing. 16 to hit. That's a hit. That is a hit. And that'll do

2 points of damage And then third Swing is a miss I'm sorry, bite is a hit actually Because that's a full bite And that is 8 points of damage No damage

Alright, the Borellus turn This one right there No damage, Doc. No damage. All right. All right. The Brellu's turn. This one right there. Yeah, those Archons are right there. He keeps attacking them, and they're not going down. So he ignores them and attacks Lork. Here comes the claw! 21.

Boy, that's a move. That's a hit. Yeah, he moves five feet. Really? 21 hits you, huh? Touch attack? Oh, yeah. I forgot. 18 points of damage.

That's five regular, eight force. Second claw also hits for, oh boy, six regular, eight force. So these claws are hitting you and like, boom, blowing you back with force. Boom, blowing you back with force. And it is Feyraza's turn. Feyraza, you made your way back to Lork. Feyraza's going to cast Dispel Magic on Lork. Dispel Magic on Lork.

Okay. You have to defeat my caster level, right? Yeah. Oh, yeah. What is going on? Sorry, I don't understand when he moved over. Oh, he attacked the Archon. No, he attacked Lork.

Oh, diagonally. Okay. By the way, I should have mentioned this from the beginning, but every time he moves, he's flying over towards you. He doesn't walk. He, like, kind of hovers. That's why it looks like he is standing and crawling, because he's just kind of hovering through the air. So creepy. But his fly check is so high, I didn't even have to roll the hover check.

Now, oh, you want to dispel magic. On Lork. What is the DC? It have to roll the Harper check. Now... Oh, you wanted to spell magic. On Lork. What is the DC? It's a caster level check. Compare that to the spell with the highest... So the spell... Lork is only under the effects of one spell. So it's DC 11 plus the spell's caster level. The spell's caster level. So if he has multiple...

DC 24. Caster level 13. Wow. So I got a Caster level 13. Wow. So I got a D20 plus 8. I'm going to throw in a bottle cap. There you go. I was going to say, if I had a cap here. It's a lork cap, by the way. An old lork cap.

I think that's a lork. It's a half orc. I'm not sure. 20. It's your highest one? Yeah. 12 and an 11. No!

It is Pembroke's turn. DeRosa came back, tried to dispel. Pembroke! Pembroke has grasped Lork by the arm and uses the remainder of his dimensional steps to teleport them both 50 feet down the road. 50 feet. Pulls a confused Lork away.

Okay. Pembroke and both Archons, or does one Archon stay with him? The one, well, one of them dies because it's in the volcanic. That's true. So the other one stays to fight. Another day. National 20. Oh, can't be crit.

It has a name. But it's, it's immune to crits because it's an automatic. It's named as Leonard. It has a name, technically. 14 points

of energy damage. Okay. Second attack is 14 against touch. It's really, I think it's a miss. Okay. All right. All right. And it is the against touch. That's probably a big miss. Okay.

All right. All right. It is the new round. Baron's turn. Pretty much everybody's out of there. Who's left? Feyraza? Okay.

Go ahead. But this is not over. This is awful. Baron, go ahead. Baron's hoping that everyone will join him, so he's going to hold his action to see if they get any further up the road in case he gets hit. Because he's 160 feet away off of the giant play mat we have. Away from Ferrazza. Instead of keep running that way, you're just going to kind of wait to maybe keep running that way or run a different direction.

All right, Lor, Joe, tell me what's wrong. From the confusion spell, any confused character who is attacked automatically attacks its attacker on the next turn, which I never knew. Oh, my dear. So how long does this last? 13 rounds.

He's caster level 13. That would be 13 rounds. If we're going to play by the rules, I cannot see any eventuality where he does anything else but leave Pembroke's grip and run back at this guy at full speed. Unless you want to have him roll or you want to have Pembroke do a CMB check against a werewolf. Well, first you've got to roll on the confusion table. That's the first thing.

No, that ends the confusion table? No, it doesn't end it. It just says if you're confused and someone attacks you on your next turn, you attack if you're still confused. You don't roll, you just attack. You're an attacker. It prevents you from casting confusion on someone

and then hitting them and letting them keep hitting themselves or doing nothing. So you make all haste back towards the Borrello and Pembroke's just holding on to you and just doesn't understand what's going on. What are you doing? He would get to roll CMB, right? Yeah, I'm going to try to make a

CMB check. It's just a werewealth we're talking about. Sure, yeah, go for it. Roll the CMB to see if you hold on. I have a 2 CMB. to try to like... It's just a werewealth we're talking about. Sure, yeah. Go for it. Roll the CMB to see if you hold on. Okay, I have a two CMB. We need a natural 20. Oh, 21.

Nope. Oh. 24. Right out of Pembroke's grip. Part of it's because of that rage, too. It would be lower, I think. Man. Whoo.

It is the Borrello's turn. The Archon... One Archon is with Pembroke. The other Archon is dead from the Molten Fire. It takes off in the direction of Cat Benatar. Oh, okay. Flying after Cat Benatar. Okay.

You see him go at least 100 feet. Lork, you see that happen. I should also say that the sprint ability that I mentioned, it was incorrect. That is only as part of a charge. But his speed is 50 feet. So he has the same speed. Whose speed? Kat Benatar's speed.

Her speed is 50 feet. So with that head start, she should be able to... She's hundreds of feet away. Yeah, she should be able to get far enough away. Right. She'll never be within reach of him. Right. If she had that head start.

So you know that. Yeah. So this... It is fair odds mister all right have time to rub your head a little more yeah and now I think that I would roll on the table again because I think it's only you know the round after you're attacked by a creature yes you don't roll on the table so I think we'll still

be confused I was looking to see if I had a spell to make Lork fall asleep and I do not. I'm immune. You're immune to sleep effects? Elf. Oh, right. This is a disaster.

You know what it is? You guys got to treat him like a circus animal or something. You got to surround him and just keep your distance and wait for this thing to wear off. All right. So instead, I'm going to cast Web Shelter. Oh. So I create a shelter of slightly

sticky webbing with a hinged door large enough to accommodate a medium creature. But I'm just going to surround Lork in a web shelter. Like a little five foot house. Oh my god. I like that. That's awesome. And then, so that's my standard action. Farazza will just wait there.

Alright, and for all intents and purposes the Borrello is gone and you are out of combat. You have a few more rounds of being confused, but with this webbing. Slashing against these webs. We just, like, lean against the door. We're holding the door. Right. So you guys are just like.

And finally, you're dazed. Every couple rounds, you're just. Farazza's, like, sitting with their back against the door. It's like, boom, boom, boom. Can you imagine this scene? Like, Prissy gets really mad. Then he does nothing. Then he goes, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

And then just, finally. And then he's like, ouch. Does damage to himself. Attacking himself a couple times. Oh, my God. And the Borrello is gone. And, I mean, Cat Benatar is out of there as well. Yeah. I'm trusting in Cat Benatar is out of there as well. Yeah.

I'm trusting in Cat Benatar to find her way back. I'm not worried about that. But... Oh man. That was rough. That was rough. That was rough. All hinged on one diplomacy check too.

Yeah. A very, very difficult diplomacy check. Even if we had succeeded, we would have been able to move him down from hostile to unfriendly. Well, we wouldn't have to fight him though. Unfriendly, I wouldn't have attacked. Okay. But yeah, yeah. He would have just been very move him down from hostile to unfriendly. Well, we wouldn't have to fight him, though. Unfriendly, I wouldn't have attacked. Okay. But yeah, yeah. He would have just been very ornery in conversation.

Was there anything- We rolled well, too. Was there anything that we could have done? I mean, you mentioned him hating the trappings of civilization. Was there any way we could have acted or thrown away? I mean, honestly, I was trying to think of like- Just take off all of our clothes and- That was what I was thinking.

Lope into the woods like animals. Really creative solutions that are so straight out of the book. Like, yeah, take off your- And just act crazy or something like that. so out of the straight out of the book like yeah take off and just act crazy or something like that like maybe I would have like monkeys these guys aren't worth my trouble take off that's like what's that like to live deliciously

it's like the end of the witch that's what spoilers well sorry movie don't let it ruin your experience I actually don't care about spoilers yeah i stopped that so it tried to connect with kat benatar and because kat benatar is a uh animal companion animal companion it can't like uh charm it or like control it so it thought it was dominated or something yeah i thought it was dominated i thought well it it is in a way it is in a way but it's a gift from the your deity um

so it's just stupid it's just a big stupid ghost he just doesn't like we should have said that what are you stupid yeah would that have helped our diplomacy check tray what a stupid stupid he is what's a step above hostile i'm honestly surprised there wasn't anything about uh any bonus for druids to that check druids are fundamentally like philosophically in that same line of thinking right it was a dc-29 yeah no no yeah i know i get it i get it um but uh yeah you guys what do you want to do right now um well assuming the web shelter is gone and lork is back to normal my goodness i'll go up to penbrook thank you for the bow he's been holding his bow this whole time yeah yeah he's like kind of shaking and uh

he's kind of like collapsed on the ground like still trying to get his breath back and it's just here you are yeah try not to lose it again. Thank you, my friend. I'm sorry I tried to bite you. No, no, it's understandable. I've been bitten by larger creatures than you. It's all right. By the way,

that web shelter lasts for hours. So if anyone wants to like have tea in there, like feel free. I love the image. Like you finally open it up and he's just in there like normal elf lork. Like he's in timeout. He's like, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. He's in the shoe. He's in the shoe. I'm the image. You finally open it up, and he's just in there like normal elf lork. Like he's in timeout. He's like, I'm sorry.

He's in the shoe. He's in the shoe. I'm cool now. Guys? Guys? I'm good. Oh, I really wanted to turn you into a cat. A house cat.

A little Persian cat. And that is permanent, isn't it? Baleful polymorph? I'm still not 100% sure if it's dispel magic or break enchantment that can get rid of it. There's a huge discussion on the boards, not surprisingly, about which one can do it. Because it's written under curses. Under curses, you can only use break enchantment. But other people are like, no, it's just spell magic.

Anyways. It usually denotes. Doesn't it usually note if you can't be dispelled by dispel magic? Yeah, it usually does do that. No, I think what you're thinking of is it notes if it can't be dispelled by its caster. Right, right. You're correct. But you don't have to worry about it until the next Baleful Polygon.

So you guys move off into the woods to get the hell away from here in case his lair is here? We're freaked out by this area. Yeah. Pembroke is. He says, I think we should get our move on. Yeah.

Let's go. Keep going. Keep going. Get into the night. What about Cap Benatar? Gone. Forever. Forever.

In the next county. Remember when you found Reggie? Oh, no. All right. All right. She'll return. The shortest lifespan Oh, no. All right. All right. Love is a forever. She'll return. The shortest lifespan of an animal companion since we started the show.

Okay. And the longest drop. And you guys finally find a place to camp that feels relatively safe. And you think tomorrow you can make your way to the place on the map where Skirgard allegedly is. Cap Benatar doesn't return. Yeah, so Lork's going to keep doing patrols around the camp, like just keeping an eye out and ear out for Cap Benatar. Okay. Roll a perception check perception 30 30 that's cole's die

so you're doing patrols for two hours and at a certain point you hear a little rustling in the leaves up ahead. And out walks the Borrello again. Now I'm getting this cat bad at talking. We'll see you next week. You failed your stealth check. It's the Borrello. Roper edition. Nailed your stealth check. It's the Borrello. Roll for initiative. Oh!

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