The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 17 - J'son Rise, J'son Set

Episode Date: September 22, 2015

As the heroes mourn a devastating loss, revenge opens the door to a bloodbath. Meanwhile, a chance encounter with a cryptic stranger brings disturbing news from the front, and an old friend returns just in the nick of time! For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast... We've got work to do. The companions must deal with a tragic loss and find the courage to stay in the fight. We're gonna shore up that barricade, and then we're gonna find Screed, and then I'm gonna kill him. A chance encounter will bring news from the front. You see an old elven man dressed all in white crawling away, and he just kind of collapses, and his white robes are covered in blood. He's like poison, danger, orcs everywhere. And the battle for Bloodmarch Hill will shift into a battle for revenge.

I am fucking psyched. Glamorous, shocked, and I was like, fuck this motherfucker. The adventure continues now. Hello, hello, Glass Canadians! Welcome to the show! Oh! I am Joe, you might have noticed, and I'm trying to sound excited and upbeat. Even though if you listen to last week's episode, you'd know that I'm not excited or upbeat at all.

If you haven't listened to last week's episode, then spoiler alert, go listen to last week's episode because I'm about to spoil some shit. And spoiler alert, go listen to last week's episode because I'm about to spoil some shit. Lork's son was killed right in front of his face, man. I did not see that coming at all. And I have to applaud Troy. I really do. It was dramatic and intense and it really surprised me. And those moments are awesome at an RPG table when you're truly and honestly shocked about what's happening. And at least my experience with it last week, the entire room was just silent. It was pretty awesome.

That's all I'm going to say about it because there's plenty of aftershocks that have to play out in this episode. So I'm looking forward to you hearing it. I just want to tip my hat to Troy, though, seriously, as awful as he is as a DM and as a person, he really did knock this one out of the park. Quickly, I want to thank at the Dice Nerd on Twitter. He's been a terrific supporter of the show on Twitter, and he's also had some insightful comments for us about how we can improve the show. And we just want to thank you for taking the time, man. We really do appreciate it. Remember to email us at glasscannonpodcast at gmail.com with your comments, your criticisms, any questions.

And don't forget to enhance your experience of the show by going to our Tumblr for the visual aids and some of the RPG articles that we write on there. That's all I'm going to say because I really just want to get into the show. If you'll excuse me, Lork's got some avenging to do. Let's get into it. Enjoy episode 17. I was thinking on the way over here today how sometimes Joe will say, I'm not creative. I'm not as creative as you guys. And I'm always like, you're creative, Joe.

You're very creative. And then I laughed thinking that he named his orc Lork and his son Jasun. And you were like, you were right all along. You were right all along. It eliminates a lot of confusion. Just son. Who's the orc character again? And who's his son?

Skid, Skid, you're Eric the cleric, right? I almost went with bitch the witch. But you see, you're all more clever than I am. That's why you get away with that stuff. Well, that's our burden to bear. Jasun. I shall name my firstborn Jasun. We're all Robin Williams's, smiling on the outside but frowning on the inside.

Speaking of Jasun, he's dead. Oh, yeah. He just had his throat slit right in front of you by this giant, snarling, Lord of the Rings-type orc. And there's like a little trickle, a pool of blood starting to form around his face, which is in the mud. And tell us again your connection to this kid. You mentioned it before, but he's an adopted son. You kind of took him.

Yeah, he's an adopted son. So basically, took him. Yeah, he's an adopted son. Basically, Lork was raised in the streets in Trinidad. He didn't really have parents, and he was just like a ruffian, basically. A street tough. A street tough. And he became a criminal, and then he got busted, and he got sent to something called the Order of the Black Arrows, which is a group of ranger giant fighters,

giant and ogre fighters that live out on the Storval Plateau, which isn't that far from Trinnell. It's like the Night's Watch. Yeah, and it's just like the Night's Watch. It's a lot of murderers and rapists and stuff that get sent there to do their service hunting and fighting giants and protecting the local villages that are in this wild area from giants and this is something in the in the pathfinder like lore right i read it in the player's guide

it was like you know when you start a campaign a lot of times i'll give you a player's guide and they say you can choose these sort of backgrounds and like that one sounded interesting to me i was like i would love to have a past as a as a giant fighter i mean of course they mean it to be like you're currently a giant fighter but i was like oh he was he to be right. And then the idea was like he used to be. And how did he get out of it? Because that's like a service for life kind of thing. And because he's a criminal. And the idea was he his buddy died, actually sort of a lone survivor situation where like his whole platoon was killed by a fire giant.

And he ends up like unconscious, but doesn't die, wakes up, comes back. And one of the guys that died had like a newborn or like a one or two year old uh son who did not have a mother and so he basically uh took him and he was released from his service because he had torn his knee basically so badly he couldn't like actually uh function so he comes back to true now to start a new life and now that he's got this human kid he doesn't know anywhere else to go he's like i'll go to true now because there's lots of humans there like i was raised there that's like probably a safe place for a human to go and he was a little more accepted because he came back a little older with a kid his demeanor had kind of changed but he had to

give his service in the militia do you think that uh i know part of it is honor bound to your fellow militiamen uh fighting the giants but do you think not no you didn't know your mother right no work didn't know his mother so maybe giving parentage to someone that you didn't have was part of it yeah exactly i mean basically he became very close with this guy right they became like brothers in in war and then he was he felt so close to him that he felt obligated to to try to take of this kid. And what was his name? I actually, was it Brend the Friend? His name was Buddy.

I'm not your buddy, pal. His name was Jack Sparrow, the Black Arrow. And luckily that name wasn't used That was clever as shit, Joe You're clever as fuck Your father, Brend, was a good man He was my friend His name was Brend No, but you had a name picked up from

No, I'm going to go with Brend, I think You like Brend? Yeah, I like Brend I like Brend, too Send in your artwork of brand. We just want to go with friend with a P-H. Friend. That's a little too on the nose.

Thank you. Let's just go brand. Let's just back it off just a bit. One other thing that your character really embodies that we have failed to mention the whole time is for a long time after Skyrim came out, there were all these image macro memes of a guard that said, I used to be an adventurer, but then I took an arrow to the knee.

Was he an NPC in Skyrim? Yeah, guards in the game would just walk up to you all the time. And volunteer this information. And they would tell you. They'd look at you, and they'd know you were an adventurer somehow because you're wearing armor. And they'd say, I used to be an adventurer, but then I took an arrow to the knee. And that's exactly what your character is. Yeah.

He's that guy. But we're going to flesh him out a little more. Right. So basically, I did not expect this to happen. I kind of wanted to have this son, a character, to start the game that was like a somewhat adult. He's like 18 years old. He was serving in the militia. I had trained him from the time he was young.

Not well enough. I know, exactly. Too soon? That's really soon, man. We didn't even play out the scene yet I bet nobody signs their name like Jason He just died like a fraction of a second ago Yeah, like we're in that brief

We're pausing in that brief fraction of a second You could not get any more too close to the event Too soon Too soon, you couldn't get any more too soon Troy is like Jigsaw from Saw Well, anyway, I just gotta say as a player I had no idea that you were gonna do that the event too soon too soon you couldn't get any more too soon troy is like jigsaw from saw like well anyway i i just gotta say as a player i i had no idea that you were going to do that i thought that you would you know make you know it could be possible that he was missing or there could be some

other factor or he could be there and i could like save them and then go along and then we continue with the adventure whatever i did not imagine being unable in any way to be helpless to help him and to just watch him um die right in front of me. So I want to see what happens. Yeah, and that goes for everybody. If you guys create a backstory that involves people that you create in the myth, I'll find a way to work them in. And tweet at us, too.

You guys tweet at us ideas. I'll work it into the story as best I can. But, yeah, in the meantime, your son's dead. And he never got to live. I have to say, I know that a lot of people, I mean, we complain about a lot of your decisions because they're dumb

and you don't give out coins and you wouldn't let me get spider venom that one time. But I had to roll like 32 on every roll in order for you to give me one vial. And then I even tried to poison you when you couldn't. Yes.

Well, now you're poisoned, but you got it. But no, I think that was a great choice. I thought it fucked me up when that happened, and he wasn't even my son. Yeah. Next time on A Very Special Glass Cannon. We only joke about it because we're so emotionally invested in this, and it's the only way to mask our true feelings

for me that's true yeah I'm upset I wanted to meet the kid like as a player yeah I thought maybe Lork would die

and you could turn him into the character I was thinking that yes I was thinking that but you know well unfortunately you weren't

able to kill Lork although he almost did kill himself yeah it's true too he got falched into the food. When Lorc dies, you can come back as... Battleaxe to the neck, his own Battleaxe.

You can come back as the ghost of Brend. Alright, so you're standing there. Such a jerk, man. I'm the ghost of Brend! I'll grant you three wishes! Oh my god. I don't laugh at a high-pitched voice ever.

Skin does. How's my son doing? Come on, man. This is serious. No, we should be. I always do this at funerals. I like how Troy is essentially the murderer of this kid and then mocks everyone.

What do you mean? He died like me? I guess it runs in the family. He's the joker. He's the fucking joker. So meanwhile, you come down this alleyway. Your friends are behind you, Lork. Down this very thin alleyway that can only

fit about two people side by side. And you are staring in the face of five, one, two, three, four, five nasty, gross orcs and the corpse of your adopted son, which now a pool of blood has trickled all the way up to your toe, and it just touched under your feet. So I just stood there silently for several seconds. Yeah, just taking it all in.

Just stunned. Awful. So can I do something? Can I get into it here? What are you thinking? Well, I mean, you know. Got something to say? Yeah, I had a week to think about it.

So I want to, Lork's got something to say, i had a week to think about it so i want to uh lork's got something to say man okay all right so uh he he looks across at uh these these five orcs and um his his son just drops right in front of him and uh he takes a couple seconds as the blood is trickling towards him and he's just like stunned breathing shocked you know staring at the blood staring at the at the orcs and he he looks at the one who slit its throat. I assume it's like a captain of some kind, or the biggest one, or they all pretty much the same. Yeah, no, he's like the alpha of the group.

Yeah, so he looks right across at the alpha of the group and then he has this insanely angry look in his eye, and his brow furrows, and his tusks kind of snarl up, and he gets this very orcish look. He looks very orcish. Much more so than a half-orc.

And he starts kind of like breathing heavy and then he says, You've killed a Black Arrow. It's a mistake that will end your life. Come and meet your doom. And then he actually like takes a step back

and slams his masterwork battle axe into his chest, not critting himself, just sideways. It gains the broken condition. Sideways. He just slams it into a very kind of tribal, and it's just like... Screams for a full four or five seconds at this thing and just stands there.

Roll for initiative i am fucking psyched chalabras was shocked and i was like fuck this motherfucker oh man uh and that about oh that's awesome um awesome So 19 for Lork 19 for Lork Anybody higher than a 19? 20 for Baron 20 for Baron

Gormley what do you got? 48? 15 for Gormley Gormley 15 And Galabras? 15 for Galabras Oh so But I still go last

Because I believe Gormley has a slightly higher Initiative bonus than zero. Just a good old Howie the Green Stink Scorpion. All right, leading things off. Way down the back of the alley, just behind Lork, actually. Ooh, is this Miami Vice? We've covered that several episodes ago. Sorry, sorry.

Callback. Baron, you're up. Baron, straddling alongside the left of Lork Eyes the five orcs At the end of the alley And in the vanguard The first orc at the head of these five The one that killed Jasun

Yes Baron says It ain't right to take a man's son like that right in front of his eyes. And he uses his last grip point of the day. Whoa. To get up close and deadly. There we go.

Here we go. So against Touch AC 22 to hit Oh yes That is a hit Yes The bullet Hits him straight in the chest 10 points of damage

I write to the chest His knees buckle And he's down to almost one knee He has been hit below zero Below zero? Whoa Right back Yeah

That's pretty badass Lork, you just hear Boom! The bullet go off And you see the guy It's like Indiana Jones I'm like Make this big scene

And then the alpha Just like boom Awesome Lork The orc Rather Buckles To one knee

And now it is Lork's turn Kill him Kill him Kill him! Kill him! Charge him! You can take him right below his con and murder him. I'm going to shoot him with my crossbow.

My longbow. So I'm basically going to sheath my battleaxe and take a shot without moving. Awesome. Now remember, since this is the first round, any of you that go before the orcs do, you're going against their flat-footed AC because they are not ready to defend themselves. So their armor class minus their dexterity bonus

to their armor class. Right, so they're easier to hit. That's why it's good to have a high initiative lork. Okay, here we go. Kill him, kill him! Here we go. Shooka, shooka, shooka, shooka, shooka, shooka, shooka, shooka. Kill him. Kill him. That is a 15 to hit.

That is a hit. Yes. Beaudious. Two points of damage. The arrow sails straight into the eye of the man that murdered your son, and he dies on the spot. Oh, yeah. Vengeance is mine! He collapses to the ground and an even larger

pool of blood forms. Mingles with your sons. Uh, and now Gormley, you're up. Gormley takes, Gormley is feeling horrified at this. Even Gormley is justormley is feeling horrified at this

Even Gormley is just like Distraught Sure Watching this throat get slit And she takes a look at the first orc That she can see To her right And gives it the nastiest

Most disgusting evil eye Yeah Previously reserved only for trolls Ah wow Okay To AC The orc just And what is that a will save? previously reserved only for trolls wow okay to AC the orc just and what is that a will save?

DC 14 will save DC 14 will save fails the will save yes so what is it a minus minus two to your AC for six rounds oh nelly okay

and just to keep things going she's going to cackle to extend that of course she is of course she is yeah because you're not moving anywhere you're going to cackle To extend that Of course she is Of course she is Yeah because you're not Moving anywhere You're going to stay back there With this evil eye away

Alright Galabras Alright Galabras So Galabras was like Riveted by all this happening Like he was stunned Just to watch the murder Of like

An innocent Like in front of his eyes And to know that it's his new Comrade's son, he's filled with a rage that he hasn't allowed himself to feel in his entire life. And he went through a lot of shit. Yeah, yeah. As much pain and torment as he went through,

he never allowed himself to get as angry as he is right now. he went through, like he never allowed himself to get as angry as he is right now. So Galabras runs up, up the alley, behind Lork, and touches him on the shoulder with a bit of luck. And he says, go. Oh, I'm pumped now. It would have been the murderer's turn, but he is dead. So the guy that,

the orc, rather, that Gormley evil-eyed, steps up to Mr. Lork and swings at him with a falchion. Ah! And misses.

Dodged it. Four orcs remain. The other one that was behind the murderer steps up, now bottlenecking this alleyway here, and swings with a greataxe and misses! Same rule! So it looked like ducks under it. Yeah, exactly.

And then there are two still standing, and one of the remaining ones steps up and just kind of starts causing a fracas. You can see they don't fight with any sort of tactics. And he's got nowhere to go because we're in this tiny little alley. They're like ferocious Keystone cops at this point. So this guy just kind of like, he's trying to reach around over his other two guys.

They're like ganging up at the opening of this alley. There's not even enough room. Right. At least he's just kind of oddly poking his weapon past his friends. At least he's considerate enough to give a reach around. Unlike some I could mention. And then the remaining one notices he sees this tiny

little bearded dwarf in the back and shoots at him with a composite shortbow. 13 misses. All for orcs. Sounds like orcs. Failures. And now, round two. Baron.

Baron's just gonna kind of... Well, should I... Baron is currently diagonal behind Lork. in order to shoot either of the orcs it's very crowded down there now do i need to stand abreast of lork in order to shoot them no you can just shoot them you're just going to take that minus four because they're in the fracas okay i'll do that and i get plus one to my role because of hatred against orcs you could shoot the one in the rear actually yeah the one in the rear here, he's not in the melee yet.

Oh, the one in the rear. The one in the back that threw it. Oh, the one that shot the bow at you. All right, I'll shoot the one in the rear. No, no, no, the one that's trying to force his way into the battle. The one in the fracas. So there is a crowd of three orcs kind of at the bottleneck of this alley, and I'm firing at the one at the back.

Oh. That is a... That's just a miss. That's an eight against touch, AC. That is a miss. Pshum! It makes sense. It was a tough...

You're shooting through your friend, two guys, and trying to hit another guy in the back. Pshum! Fires high and deep. Lork still furious. And Lork is going to do this sweet little, like, kind of shift to the side, like, and shift over right in front of Baron,

because he's got this longbow out and he's got this bit of luck, and he's like, when he sees his buddy's son die, like, all he's thinking about is the longbow. Like, that was their weapon when they fought giants. They would surround and duck and dodge and fire arrows. So he's channeling Brend. Exactly. So he

sort of continues this mantra. Think like Game of Thrones. He continues this mantra. You've killed the Black Arrow. It's a mistake that will end your life. Come meet your doom. And he slides out to the side. Shifts a little bit to the side and he's going to fire two arrows. At the one right in the front.

Yes. He's going to slide out to the side and just... Wait, which dude? The one that attacked you second or tried to attack and missed? Yeah, the one who's right up in the front of the middle of the aisle. So like point-blank range with an arrow. Exactly. Point-blank range with an arrow.

So with Galavris' bit of luck, let's see. That's a 17 to hit. That's going to be a hit. And four points of damage. And he's like so fast. Fire. Don't forget this is the one that Gormley evil-eyed. A second one is a hit for another four points of damage.

He is in the negative. Yes. Yeah, that was the one that Gormley had evil-eyed. Very smart. Right, so that was the rapid shot. You guys are becoming quite the tacticians. By the way, thank you, Galabras. Both of those other d20s were totally missed.

Awesome. Awesome. I love helping. That's what you do. Gormley. So the one I evil-eyed was the one who just went into the negative? Yes. So I'm going to evil-eye the other one.

The first one that tried to attack Lorcan missed. Okay. So it's going to be a will save. Got the will save. 16. So for one round, minus two to the AC. One round, minus two to AC. And then cackle to extend it for two rounds. 16. So for one round minus two to the AC. One round minus two to the AC. And then cackle to extend it for two rounds.

Or to extend it for another round. Hey, I have a question. So when you cackle as a witch, does it extend all of your hexes that you're going on? No, you pick one. Okay, you pick one. Sweet. Galabras. Alright, so Galabras is going to Actually no hang on

Any creature that is within 30 feet That is under the effects of an agony Agony hex or any of these hexes Caused by the witch has the duration That hex extended for one round Whoa I thought you said before you had to pick That's awesome She's sacrificing her movement

for cackling. She's just cackling to extend the effects of all the magic. It also immobilizes her. So technically, an enemy, even with negative AC,

could close in on her more easily. Right, right. So there's a disadvantage. And it makes sense because it's like you hear it and it's disturbing. You know what I mean?

So anybody can hear it. I just love the thought of this witch. Oh, yeah. In this oddball group and just this witch just like laughing like in the back and it being so exactly and being so unsettling and just like fucking up everyone yeah this is sirenscape has some new some new sounds this is definitely uh the strangest party combination. She reminds me. History of Pathfinder. Do you guys play Legend of Zelda on the N64? Of course.

You remind me of the Great Fairy. You know how she came down and was like. She like bursts out of the fountain. Joe reminds me of a Great Fairy too. All right. Oh. Oh. You cannot, cannot do this.

His son just died You cannot keep doing this It's Galavris' turn Pause for edit Okay so Galavris Is in his Newfound rage

Is going to pull his crossbow His loaded crossbow Off of his back Aim and fire At the one Closest to him No No no no, no, no. There are two that aren't in melee combat.

These two. Yeah, the closer one at the bottleneck of the alley that's trying to force his way in. I'm going to shoot at that guy. Okay. We got some new sounds here on Sirenscape. Let's see. Ooh. 16 to hit? sounds here on Sirenscape. Let's see. Ooh.

16 to hit. 16 hits. And one... One damage. We love you, Sirenscape! Let's get just... Which guy was that again? It's the one in the back. The Keystone Cop one. So he keystone cop one I just grazed him

Definitely hit and definitely Hit him in the arm He's like Fussing now trying to pull the arrow out Okay the first Orc Swings his great axe at Lork The orc

That is definitely a hit swings his great axe at Lork, the orc. That is a definitely a hit. And he hits Lork for 13 points of damage. Oh, shit! Don't worry. The second one's now attacking Lork with a orc double axe.

I'm out of range of them, so they're moving to me. So, yeah yeah This dude The first orc Steps up into here Okay Okay He steps into the alley Yeah he steps right

Into the fray now So now he's surrounded By his buddy Lork Baron And Galabras On all sides And then the other

On three sides On three sides yes And then The other dude He he takes a five-foot step over. Oh, no, no, no, I'm sorry. The guy that hit me is dead. Totally dead. Yeah, because he was below zero. Yeah.

He was the guy who I hit twice with the bow. And you said he was below zero. But he had orc ferocity Was he within range to attack you? Yeah, I'm saying he hit me Oh, but he's dead now I have it in my, this one here Yeah, that guy

Okay, so this guy hit you And this guy moved and died Okay Okay, so the first guy came up Boom, hit you in the face No, in the chest with a greataxe for some significant damage. And then the other guy was like, I want in on this too, moved up and died.

And now the other one, the Keystone Cop, he now has room to get in. So he squeezes right in and swings a spiked chain. Oh, this again? And misses! Oh, this again? And misses! Oh, thank God. And now the dude in the back, he's the ranged guy,

and he's kind of, he's seeing what's going down. He saw two of his buddies fall, but he's a fool, and he's going to shoot into the melee with all the minuses and miss. Zoom!

And Arrow just gormily, you see, zoom! And Arrow go flying past you down the alley. Round three, Baron. Baron is going to shoot at the orc immediately to the right of the orc and diagonal to him within five feet.

And he's going to get goddamn up close and deadly. Fumbo, my weapon is broken. This is not the time Baron Every couple episodes Oh boy Not the time I say oh shucks You gotta confirm the fumble

To see if it gets really bad That is a What is that? You rolled a nine. So that's a 16. It gets touched, so you're fine. So it's just a broken gun. I'll put these fumble cards away for later.

Oh, no. Wow. Lork, what's going on? You're surrounded. You just took some serious damage. You can now see your own blood. Yeah. I think it's... He's he's too packed in with these guys so i think it's time to to drop the bow and switch to the uh uh great axe um so he's gonna pull this this great axe out and he can just uh give it a

good swing at uh the guy that is in came into the alley and is threatening his friends. That dude. That asshole. Who currently still has a lowered AC.

18 to hit. 18 hits. And that is 13 points of damage. He is fully dead. Oh! Sweet!

Just chopped his head off. Doesn't even have a chance at ferocity. Chopped his head off. 13 points of damage. He is fully dead. Oh! Sweet! Just... Chopped his head off. Doesn't even have a chance at ferocity. Chopped his head off. Chopped his head clean up. Dead. You Aragorned him.

Gormley. Stay away from my friends! Which one's down? The one that squeezed his way into the alley. So the Keystone Cop is still up. The Keystone Cop. Yeah, but so now this guy, he's clogging the alley. So the Keystone Cop is still up. The Keystone Cop. So now this guy, he's clogging the alley

with bodies. But yeah, you can see that you have line of sight with that guy if you want to get funky. Two orcs remaining. Gormley is going to shoot. Two orcs remaining. Gormley is going to shoot with the crossbow. Okay. It's going to be a minus four, as you know. As I know. Everyone's favorite rule.

And misses misses Flies Hits a child wandering with his mother In the streets There wasn't a fumble Galabras Galabras is going to load his crossbow Dead orc at your feet Galabras And fire at the ranged orc

standing further away. That guy, okay. That guy's way back there. That's another hit and seven damage. He is also in the negative, which means... Nice.

Do you hear it? Yeah. It's a little low, but... Oh, I like that. Is that cool? Is that cool? And you did that with your mouth, right? Yes.

That was good. Sirenscape should hire you. He's the guy from Police Academy. Yeah, I should say that I recently, since the last episode, I basically learned Sirenscape a little bit better, and it happens to coincide with some new content that they released.

And so I'm going to be trying some new stuff going forward and it's going to be a little hit or miss. I might overdo some things or miss some timings but I should get better. But I'm going to be doing some cool stuff with this app. It's awesome. I for one have been waiting for sound effects

to be the star of the show so we can just really coast along. We need more of that. Drops, music, and sound effects. Right. So Galabras just did seven damage. That is awesome.

Was it a crossbow? Crossbow. Crossbow. And takes the guy below zero. Oh, that's awesome. And he's 100 feet away. Hit him right in the heart.

Right in the fart. All right. I've lost track of how many orcs are living. There's two left. There's two left. I was like, oh, it looks like three. That was just lork. I don't know my half orcs to my orcs.

I've been drinking. All right. So this guy, I believe he has the orc double axe. No, he's got a spiked chain. This is spiked chain, dude? Yep. You've been murdering these guys left and right. All right, spiked chain.

So he's like, like an extra in the warriors. Boom! Swings the spiked chain. Whoa! That's definitely a hit. 23. Yep, that's a hit. So you just...

This is the thing that fucked Lork up before in that house when we were trying to save that woman. He just... You feel like the chains hit you in the face for nine points of damage. Oh my god. Ow. Okay, Lork looks like he's about to pass out. Lork, you have like, you see like little chain link impressions on Lork's face that are starting to fill with blood.

And then the dude in the back, he whips out his bow, fires it, misses, and dies. To my wife and lover. Dead. Thanks to Galabras. One left. One orc left. And it is round four. Or as I like to call it, the last round? Better be.

Question mark. Baron. With a broken gun. Baron is going to drop his gun. Pull the dwarven molex from his back. What? And throw it at Bad Orc.

What? This is a first. This is a podcast first. I've never seen this happen. It's such a shame that there's still a minus 4 to attack On such a great Minus 3 Just have to roll a natty 20 Do it

Totally missed Oh my god I missed so hard I rolled a 10 This beautiful axe sails and hits the Dead child We gotta remember to like missed so hard. I rolled a 10. This beautiful axe sails and hits the dead child. Sorry, I rolled a 6. We gotta remember to go to this dead toddler and pull all our weapons out.

Are they hitting the dead toddler or are they hitting the body of Lork's son? All right. See? We had a perfectly reasonable image of a child being filled with weapons. Now you have to turn it to an adult.

You're ruining it. I just don't want you to get confused between which dead kid we're talking about in this scenario. All right. All right. Lork, speaking of dead kids, he feels like he's about to go out. His vision is starting to tunnel vision, and he's losing blood. And with all that he has left he swings and misses. Oh, Lork!

Thought you loved your son, Gormley! Reload, crossbow. Do it. And misses. Oh man, I said this was going to be the last round. We need some heroics from Galabras but he might be in heal mode. No, not yet.

Galabras. Galabras, like, still feeling this anger, loads up this crossbow again and fires. One remaining work. Twelve? Twelve is no good. I was just screwing around.

I was like, I'm going to count this, and I rolled a 20. And I'm not going to count it. I'm going to roll now. So last move, he's again. Right back at Lork. And Lork's just screaming in his face. And you just move right out of the way, and you feel the wind. I matrixed that.

Shit. Round five, Baron. Still fiddling with axes and broken guns. way. I matrix that. Shit. Round five. Baron. Still fitted in with axes and broken guns. Sounds like a country song. I'm just trying to think of what else. You can hold your action for a second. Let me just swing one more time. Yeah, let... You should let him take care of himself. Hold your action.

Oh, sorry. I already killed the guy that killed your son. That's true. Well, if he takes him below and then you put the killing blow. That's true, too. Then you get a grip point back. He gets a grip point back, too, if he does that. The only problem is that... My gun is broken. Oh, wait, wait.

I can... If I said up close and deadly, but I missed, do I use the grit point? Does that make sense? Yes. Yes, you do. Yes, but did you graze him for half the damage of the bonus die? I did not. Ha ha ha. That can make a difference die? I did not. Ha ha.

That can make a difference. Roll that now. Ha ha. Two. So that guy takes two damage from the previous round. That's what he spent his grip point on. Even if he misses, he does half the bonus damage. Oh, so this is retroactive damage from the missed axe?

No, from the missed gun. Where my gun exploded. Right. Yeah. Okay. Then it is Still your turn, Baron? You're just talking about retroactive damage

So Baron's going to Two points matters Pick his gun off the ground, take a five foot step back And I have no other weapons And I can't clear it right now without a grip point Okay I have to have a grip point to be able to do my quick clear.

Maybe Galabras can give you a bit of grit. Yeah, so it makes sense. He could mend object, technically. I can. But if he doesn't have it prepared, it's not worth it. No, no, it's an Orson. I can do it. No, but I don't think, I think it's like a one-hour sort of thing.

I think you've got to check the timing on it. I don't think it's a standard action. So he's just like, you know, this is... He missed because he's so fucked up. And now he's like, I'm going to take another one. 21. 22. That is a hit. Oh, nine points of damage.

And the orc falls and dies as you feel. Yes! There it was. There it was. it was Alright And so Lork is just like Yeah Lork

Winded Bleeding Blood coming off his face It's in his mouth It's in his teeth He's just like Everybody's heated Galabras

Is like raging Like a barbarian back there Trying to get that adrenaline To come down. And this battlefield is full of five dead orcs, one dead Jassun, and one dead random toddler riddled with an arrow and a throwing axe.

It's a very, very sad scene. Yeah, so you've avenged that death for now. Just one. Well, no. I think Screed. Yeah, they had to have a note. Screed's the one who needs to go down for this one. Yeah, you've got to take the guy giving the orders down.

Yeah. So Lork is going to walk up to Jasun and to his body and kind of like pick him up out of the mud, wipe some of the mud off of his face. And he's dead, right? Like you weren't kidding? Yeah, he's dead. Okay. So he's like dead, dead.

And he's kind of like, he kind of has his body up like he's kneeling in the mud. But his head almost falls off. All right. Come on. Just painting a picture. So he holds it back on like a toddler. Like he holds his head to keep it stable, and he kind of looks into his eyes, and his eyes are closed,

but he just like kind of, he holds him there for a second on one knee in the mud, and it's just like blood all over, and he's just like, Go, boy. Find your father in the halls of Valhalla. Show him what I've taught you of the Black Arrows. He'll be proud. I'll meet you both soon, but not until your deaths are avenged. And then he takes, reaches into his pocket,

and he pulls out this, like, piece of cloth and just sort of, like, wipes some of the blood, like, off of his neck and away from the wound and stuff like that. Just kind of cleaning his face and then puts the cloth back in his pocket and just picks him up

and takes him into the house where he's going to leave him until the battle's over. So he's not in the elements. Galavris follows and as he's laying him down elements. Galabros follows. As he's laying him down, he puts his hand on his shoulder. He's like, he was a good man.

He was, I, a good man. He can't even look Galabros in the eye. He's looking at Jason. And then he sort of turns and he he stands up, and he looks at Galabros, and Galabros sees this look in his eye that he hadn't seen before, and it's like vulnerability, like weakness a little bit, and he kind of takes this deep breath, and his chest kind of comes out, and he steals himself, and he kind of gets this grimace, and his tusks kind of come out a little bit, and you see just this single tear kind of come out of his eye, but he's not crying.

There's just this tear that comes out with a totally just ready-to-battle face, and he's like, we've got work to do. Yes! And he, boom, busts the door off the hinges of his own house. And just lays Jasun's body down

back in the house in the house yeah intense intense moment man so we're not going to search

Jasun's body god damn it Gormley you find two gold pieces as Lork is like leaving to, when he kicks the door down, Galavis is like, yes, right behind you. And then he searches his room.

Find a note that says, Jasun's list of goals. Goal number one, live forever. Is now a bad time to bring up that just son promised me his stereo when he died oh man uh mocking the dead sweet uh yeah pretty pretty intense pretty intense moment you guys all see this go down and you're kind of taking in lork's sadness and you feel you know especially you baron you've had your at odds with the with the half orc but now you kind of a lot a lot has happened in the past couple days are you still like rough uh rifling around your house and looking at things no no i walked out i walked out

so i i follow you and uh kind of pull you aside and i look at you up quite a distance from where i stand yeah i reach into my duster and you might think at first that i'm pulling out another gun or something like that but i pull out a bottle of whiskey put the cork in my mouth pull the bottle out keep the cork in my mouth and i hand you the bottle and say take one for your son. Lork takes a nice long pull and, yeah, swallows it down. Burns good. And he hands it back. And then all Baron does after that is looks him in the eye one more time, nods, and walks away.

I like it. I like it. Gormley, what do you feel about all this? Gormley is very confused feel about all this Gormley is is very confused she has such mixed I mean there's this newfound loyalty

she has for this team that's very strange to her and yet at the same time you know True Now leaves a bitter taste in her mouth

and she walks up so she walks up to Lork and says tell us what to do next We're gonna shore up that barricade He says And then we're gonna find Screed

And then I'm gonna kill him You can hear like In the background you hear And if you didn't know any better It sounds like a battering ram break trying to break its way through the gates uh do you guys come outside of the house yeah yeah you can see maybe 150 feet away uh just past the other dead toddler um Oh, gosh. Still rolling with it. You see an old, old elven man dressed all in white crawling away, like away from where the battering sound is happening.

He's crawling away to basically where the triage area would be. Where you guys have been coming from, he's crawling in that direction and he just kind of collapses and his white robes are covered in blood. Galabras runs up and looks him over, like see how badly he's wounded. He is unconscious, but stable.

Okay. But he is dying. Galabras, those are two completely opposite things. He's stable, but like, what I should say is he's close to, he's near death. He's in stable condition, but he's in critical condition. I gave you a second opinion. He has adult onset. Do you concur?

Galabros, do you concur? Let's call it time of death. All right. I'm going to use, Galabros is going to use the wand of Q-Lite wounds on him to try to like shore him up. Okay. He gets five points back. You see he's breathing, but he's still unconscious. Where are the rest of you?

I'm just sort of maybe five feet behind, ten feet behind. Okay. Gormley's up there. I'm sort of like leaving Galabras alone to do his work. I don't want to crowd the guy. And I'm looking for danger, like orcs coming from any direction to attack the party. I'm like Jake Gyllenhaal in Nightcrawler, and I'm like filming it hardcore. On your medieval iPhone.

Mm-hmm. Getting some stringer video. Can I roll a perception check for any— Yeah, you get knowledge local. Oh, okay. Yeah, can Gormley do a knowledge local? Yeah, you get knowledge local. Oh, okay. Yeah, can Gormley do a knowledge local and see who it is? Yeah.

I got five. I will too. Gormley gets a 22 knowledge local. Gormley. 21. Of all the people, Gormley knows. Baron, you've probably heard tell of this.

And Lork, you know as well, but you're so wrapped up in your world. But Gormley's been around for a long time. And as far, you know as well, but you're so wrapped up in your world, but Gormley's been around for a long time. And as far as you know, this man has been around for centuries. He looks like Donald Sutherland. And he is a elf druid who has watched over True Now's Hope Spring for untold centuries. That is so cool. And while most of the people in town

would say his motives are unknown, everyone in town regards him as an ally for all his many courageous deeds he's performed in previous raids. So you would know that he would have been at the Hope Spring, which is where you guys are eventually trying to go to light that final beacon. he's performed in previous raids. So you would know that he would have been at the Hope Spring, which is where you guys are eventually trying to go to light that final beacon. So he presides over that.

And the thing that you know, Gormley, is that he's a mute. Ooh. Donald Sutherland, the mute. His name is Silvermane. Silvermane. He just goes by one name, or is that a last name? He just goes by Silvermane. He's goes by one name or is that a last name?

He just goes by Silvermane. He's a bit of a local celebrity. Does anyone have any parchment and a pen for Silvermane to maybe write some messages on for us? Galabras does. He's still unconscious though, right? He's starting to come to from Galabras' healing. Galabras, why don't you hand this man your writing tools? Why?

I can't. Can we just talk to him? He's mute. Mute? This is Silvermane. You can still hear that sound. Lurk is looking toward the barricade. He's seeing if he can see any immediate danger.

Galabras scrambles in his belt pack and pulls out a bit of charcoal and some parchment and hands it to him. What's our question for him to answer? What happened? What's going on at the Hope Spring? What's going on at the Hope Spring? He writes poison. Oh, shit. Poisoned.

Hope Spring. Danger. Alchemical. Be careful. Orcs everywhere. Oh, God. Get me to safety. Are you poisoned? Gormley asks him.

He nods. We have some removed poison, don't we? Among our equipment? I don't think so. No, I don't think we do. I have some spider poison, if that'll counteract it from earlier. You certainly do. You can tell he needs to be helped to safety.

If you could get him somewhere, he could probably... Yeah, we've got to get him to the triage. There's a triage behind the barricade. As far as you know, you guys have cleaned out that whole area. Which was our goal, right? That was our goal when we got into this area. So you're making your way across the inner quarters trying to get to the barricades. Wasn't it back when we started at Sarah Morninghawk's house?

We entered this area. Yeah. The first thing was Sarah Morninghawk's house, but then the goal was to clear the area of orcs and help civilians. Save as many people as you can. Yeah. All right. So let's carry them back. Lork will carry them.

Are you guys all going with Lork? Oh yeah. Now that you've cleared this area, there's no immediate danger. You're covering your mouths against the smoke and you're all kind of helping Lork. As you're going along, you all feel imbued with this spirit. Something about the battle

with avenging Lork's son's death and something about helping this man who is obviously an important symbol in the community. You all feel imbued with this vigor and this new life as you level up to third.

Oh! Nice! I thought it was going to be some kind of like helping the old druid spell. He's like, you get plus one to hit for an hour. Yeah. Level three. Yeah. Wow.

You've come a long way, baby. Wow. Oh, that is fantastic. And so now this is how I'm going to do it. So I'm assuming you guys bring him back, and he thanks you in his mute way. His hands are like in a prayer thing he you know he thanks you in his mute way his hands are like in a prayer thing you know thanking you um and and and immediately the medics grab him and you guys tell him like poison he's poison you got to fix him so they meet they started ministering to him

uh to try and remove the poison uh and they're helping him and he gives you like the druid equivalent of a thumbs up uh an antler up um And meanwhile, you can still hear that splintering wood and whatnot. And now, as you were grabbing him to bring him back, you could see these two giant barricades were set up. And you could see all sorts of equipment. They were preparing against them

breaking through into the inner wall. So you know that's where you've got to go back. So because you're in the middle of the battle, the way I'm going to do leveling up for you guys is this. Your hit points, your threshold will go up. So whatever hit points you have right now still stay the same, but if you heal, you can heal up to your new maximum. Your base attack bonus, if that goes up,

you know, you're two hit, you get that right now. That is imbued in you through the strength of battle. Your saves, your fortitude save, your, you know, your strength against certain poisons and resistance against whatnot, that goes up. Your, your will saves, your willpower to avoid mind affecting and compulsions, that goes up. Your reflex save, to get out of the way quickly, that goes up because that's natural ability that is happening right now. If you've got any special abilities

by leveling up to third level, you get those right now. Something in you has just sparked through all the emotion of the battle and whatnot and you guys get your special abilities.

The only thing that would be tricky is your spell. So what I've decided about, and this really just affects the casters, is you get back all of the spells you've

already prepared, but you don't get to use your next, any new spells you've learned yet until you've had a chance to rest and memorize them. Unless you are... Do you recharge special abilities? You recharge special abilities. So you get all of your channels back.

How about grit points? You get all of your grit back, Calabras. How about grit points? Yeah, you get all of your grit points back. If you have any ranger's ability, Lork, you get that back. All of your hexes. I don't know if your hexes are numbered or how that works, Gormley, but you get that back. The only thing you're not going to get, I've decided, is pretty much any new spells that you haven't taken the time to study.

Now, say you're a sorcerer. Sorcerers, they don't have to study their spells. They're innate within them. So if we had a sorcerer in our partyers, they don't have to study their spells. They just, they're innate within them. So if we had a sorcerer in our party, they'd be ready to go with all their new spells. So I get a new hex when I level up. Are we going to consider that? You get your new hex, yeah. And so our

threshold of hit points goes up, but we do not automatically reach that. No. Right, we have to heal up. As you're making your way to the barricade, now you guys can be like, but above healing, he's got all his channels back. Plus, do you get new channeling at third level? Do you get an extra two-sided die? Yes, I get an extra die.

Oh! I roll two six-sided dice instead of one. Two gold-plated six-sided? When I channel positive energy, the gold heals the party. You know how I feel about that, Galabras? Yay! An extra die is huge.

All of a sudden you can do 10 points of healing, 11 points of healing to everybody in the party. Huge. Yeah, at once. Very briefly, tell me about some fun things that happened for you guys at third level. I don't care if like, oh, I got an extra point of fortitude or I got new hit points.

We know that. Yeah, for Lork, it wasn't a big deal, though it was very exciting because you and I rolled hit points, and Lork once again rolled a 10 out of 10 on a D10 for his hit points. So he is maxed at hit points, which is awesome. I pre-rolled these all with you guys just in case you leveled up. You and Galabras both rolled max,

and Gormley and Baron rolled one below max. So you guys are loaded. Which is great, because we're going to need it for what we're going into. So the only special ability that I got this level is called, for rangers it's something called favored terrain, and it gives them the ability to get bonuses to initiative, knowledge, geography, perception, stealth, survival, when they're on their favorite terrain.

And Lork's favorite terrain is from his years in the Storval Plateau. Linoleum. Exactly. Berber carpet. His favorite terrain is mountains and hills. So whenever he's in a mountainous or hillous, or hillous. Peyton Hill in a mountainous or hillous, or hillous, Peyton,

or hillous. Hey, Hey, it looks like someone just laughed at their own show. Oh, yeah. So he basically, he gets some small bonuses.

It really isn't that awesome. It's, it's kind of cool. I don't think it's the coolest thing, favorite terrain, but we'll see if it, we'll see how it works out. Like as soon as he gets outside of the walls of Trinau, essentially, like

he's in favored terrain all in this area. But as soon as he goes into, like, a cave or something like that, it's useless. Or if he's in a building, it's useless. That's still pretty cool, though. You never know. Sometimes that one little extra thing is the difference between living and dying. That's true. Or hitting a tree. What I do like is the initiative bonus. How often

have we used knowledge geography in this game? We never, ever use it enough. Uh, not like this isn't, we're not like Magellan. Right, exactly. So we just don't,

we just don't use it a lot, but I'm going to multiclass and cartographer next round. But, uh, but initiative, I like that a little bonus to start earlier in the round. Oh yeah. It's huge.

Um, Gormley, what do you got? Anything fun and new? Uh, aside from the, you know, the HP and the,

and all that good stuff, Gormley, uh, you got? Anything fun and new? Aside from the HP and all that good stuff Gormley gained an extra hex What'd you take? I took Misfortune You didn't have Misfortune before? I didn't How does that work? So Misfortune basically gives

I can give any creature within a 30 foot radius Disadvantage Ah, so they have to roll twice to take the lower roll It's the exact opposite of my bit of luck ability. Exactly. Oh, I sense a stillity between the masters.

Two sides of a magnet. Ebony and ivory. Hey, man, you know, fucking McCartney and Michael Jackson got along. For a while. Until Michael Jackson bought all the song rights

to the Beatles. And then they made it They were still dating after that As is my understanding I might be confused That's a great hex though Misfortune That sounds awesome

The only disadvantage to it is that a will save can negate So it's good to pair with evil eye What's the DC of the will save? Still 14 I think that your nickname should be miss fortune little league of legends my old stripper name like an 80s cartoon bad guy uh the other thing that gourmet got is that her flight hex which she's had since level one has now developed not only do can i feather fall at will but i can levitate once per day. Oh, that is so cool!

You're creepy. How witchy. Cackling, levitating witch. I love it. What about Galabras, Skid? Galabras, well, as we said, he gets an extra six-sided die to roll for positive channeling. And also, for the first time, I get a second-level spell,

which there's a bunch to choose from. Claris can basically pick from their whole list because they're granted by the divine power of their deity. What's your deity again? Desna. Desna, right. Desna, the goddess of luck and dreams. And butterflies.

Her symbol is the butterfly. And I also have a—I've taken the luck domain. Luck is the evidence of divine favor of Desna. And so I get a domain spell, like a bonus spell for second level. And so I get aids. What? What? Oh, no, sorry.

It's the second level spell aid. That's a terrible. So I can cast that spell, and it grants the target A plus one bonus On attack rolls And saves versus fear Plus 1d8 Plus caster level

Temporary hit points Oh that's huge That's enormous So like if I gave it to Baron for example Touch him You gave Baron AIDS So you gave Baron AIDS

Right Joke's on you I already have them. We can share. All right. So I give it to him, and then he gets it. So I roll an eight-sided die and add three, and then he gets that many temporary hit points,

which if he gets attacked, those are taken off before his actual hit points. That's a nice buffer. Yeah, a little buffer. That's pretty sweet. How long does it last? It lasts for one minute per level, so three minutes. Nice. And just for our listeners, Skid also worships Desna,

which is why he has a tattoo of a small butterfly on his lower back. Oh, my girlfriend. Stamp, stamp. My girlfriend actually does. She has a little tattoo of a butterfly on her back. She is going to hate me revealing this because she hates this tattoo. But she actually has the holy symbol of Desna

tattooed on her upper back. She did it for the podcast? Well, no, she did it and she was quite prescient as it turns out. She did it very long ago. At least she doesn't worship Yomadai

and has a giant sword covering her. All I hate is her lower back. It was fate, man. It was fate man it was a little bit of luck little bit of luck baron what would you get besides the the generals well i get a lot of things oh boy here we go crack open a beer everybody everybody listening to this while driving pull over to the side of the road so you can take notes. To begin with, to go hand-in-hand

with the range of my pistol at 20 feet as well as my up-close-and-deadly main method of combat. I get point-blank shot now, which means I have plus one to hit and damage within 30 feet, which is actually

longer than the effective range of my pistol. That's great. You get point-blank shot as a effective range of my pistol. That's great. You get point blank shot as a free feat at third level? Yeah, I was able to add it. So I get gunslinger initiative. So as long as I have one grit point, I get a plus two bonus on initiative.

I don't have quick draw as a feat yet, but I can use quick draw as part of my initiative check if I have it. I get Utility Shot, which allows me to shoot locks and attempt to break them open.

Oh, perfect. Who needs a rogue? I actually put a skill point in Disabled Device, too. You can't. Yeah, I could. Really? Yeah, of course you can. You can put a skill point in anything you want. He just doesn't get the bonus For being a rogue You get like a

Half your Level or something A weird bonus For being a rogue Scoot unattended object Which lets me shoot something And like Move it up to 15 feet

Oh my god Yeah As soon as we use that I'll give you five dollars And my But it has to be useful Like actually useful My favorite part is

I can either Shoot into the air Or actually use it As part of an attack Turn I can stop bleeding By taking the Hot smoking barrel

Of my gun And cauterizing a wound That's insane That's cool That's insane Stabilize a wound The very last thing I can do is Make a surprise melee attack, a pistol whip, which is 1d6 worth of damage.

If the attack hits, I can make a combat maneuver check to knock the target prone as a free action. Yeah, you pistol whip a guy. That's cool. That is sweet. That's cool. You know what I forgot about is the class list things is the feats. Everybody gets a feat at third level. Oh, that's right.

You also add on something to your character that you can pick from a whole list of any class. I'm pretty sure that's what my point blank shot is. That makes sense. Yeah. That makes sense. Yeah, so mine is actually, and you had mentioned it, it i took and i've never done this before but i took quick draw because lork vacillates between the longbow and the battle axe so now he can draw weapons as a free action so he can like oh so he can move and draw well you could always move and draw but now he could could move, draw, and like full attack action.

If he only moves five feet, for example. Holy shit. Yeah. With ranged weapons. No, with any weapon. Are you kidding me? Yeah, quick draw. Why doesn't everyone take quick draw?

It's totally free. Because it's a feat. That's insane. Yeah, it's an expensive feat. But if you don't ever vacillate between weapons, there's no point. But like I want Lork to be the kind of guy who goes from long, because for our party, he has to fight melee. Right. Sometimes.

But he's trained in the bow, so it's like, it's a little of both. I like it. So when people come in close, he can just pull, once he's higher level and he gets two melee attacks,

he can just pull it out and do two melee attacks, which I love. I think it's awesome. Pull it out. I heard he's already pretty quick on the draw. Watch out for Calabras' AIDS.

With that point blank shot. We're having fun, huh? B and D and dirty jokes. I heard Joe had a great place to aim your point blank shot, right on his butterfly tramp stand. No, wait, that was my... Shut up! Skid is now hitting Grant.

Stop hitting me! With a falchion? Where'd you get that, Skid? With a spiked chain? All right, so you guys... Impugned with the steel power. We need to heal. Right, Silvermane is still giving you

the druid equivalent of thumbs up. The ancient elven druid equivalent of thumbs up. And you guys need to heal and then rushe is still giving you the druid equivalent of thumbs up the ancient elven druid equivalent of thumbs up and you guys need to heal and then rush to the battlements okay can I ask the druid

before we go yeah okay do you have any advice for how to counteract the poison and he looks at you and that's what he says

because he's mute oh because he's mute God damn it Somebody give him Somebody give him Somebody give him A piece of part And then he falls unconscious

Can somebody hang A dry erase board Around his neck I still I still have He still has the parchment And the Unless he's just being a dick

The medic took it away Yeah I need that Oh great I need that pen It's my pen My pen. I take out a tattoo gun and take my shirt off and let him draw on my back. I request that he draws a butterfly on my butt crack.

Galavris, you would have seen as you were dragging as Lork and the rest of you were bringing him over that he just has common wounds that they're using, all sorts of shit. And if you remember, when you fought Ernstl and the guy that looked like the Incredible Hulk, you killed them, or I think Ernstl you left to just die, and the guy that you saved... Yeah, they were poking him with needles. They were poking him with needles. So they're just using every method of shit possible.

I don't think it's any specific type of poison, but these people need attention is the point. Poison is a very important weapon to this whole army. They've been loaded out with poison. And it's oddly, many people say it's a woman's weapon. They do. Why would they say that?

We don't know that Screed is a dude. Right? Yeah, I guess we just kept hearing an orc with significant facial tattoos. Yeah, but I But I think Somebody said he He murdered Roderick I was just adding flavor

But if you guys want to run with it Alright well then it's not Well now I gotta check That's a red herring Just stop This kid's angry Okay so Yo you wouldn't like

That girl is poison Somebody get a skid of beer You wouldn't like me when I'm angry Let's Let's just go I'll channel I guess I should channel That girl is poison. Somebody gets to get a beer. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry. Let's just go. I'll channel. I guess I should channel. I don't want to.

With your new channel? Yeah. So once again, I'm going to break out my gold-plated antique Roman dice. You should have channeled before we leveled up. Hey, did you tweet those beautiful dice yet? No, it's good after. No, it's better now because we can go. But he would have gotten those channels back. I think you were almost out of channels anyway.

I was totally out. Oh, okay, great. Gold die. I actually... Wait, hold on a second, buddy. I have something for you. Okay. And that is what a level three channel sounds like.

Nine points of healing. Wow. Nine points. Oh, awesome. All the neighbors call to complain. All the orcs ran away. It's louder than Baron's gun. Oh, by the way, did you fix your gun?

I could use it. Oh, I can do it. It's louder than Joe's mic. Joe, you're so loud this episode. Coming in hot today. Watching those waveforms from my corner, I'm just cringing every fucking time you talk or laugh. He's upset about his son.

And not from what he's saying. The content of what he's saying is fine, though, just to be clear. Matt started out... Matthew, I'm sorry. Started out loud, but he's gotten better. Sorry. No, I... Why don't you fix your gun i have i have grit i have

grit points now so i can i can do it as a standard action so can we fire off some um wanda wand of cure light wounds or something like that yeah is that anyone anyone still need i'm oh yeah i'm really i'm less than half hp okay I'm at full, so have fun, guys. I'm three points away from full. All right, so Galabras is going to wave his healing wand over. Oh, nine points maximum on Lork. Oh, awesome. Is your first wand all done yet?

I can't remember. Yeah, that got spent. And then you got a new one that had 24 charges or something? Yeah, it's got 14 left. Everybody else in good shape, or your gun needs some work? No, had 24 charges or something. Yeah, it's got 14 left. Everybody else in good shape or your gun, you need some work? No, my gun's all set.

Yeah, we're good. Good to go. Everybody's healed. So you make your way over to the battlements and you get there and you see two makeshift barricades, but sturdy,

standing, I don't know, 30 feet apart or so. I'll find out the exact amount in a second. And all of a sudden, a horse rolls up, and a guy drops off the horse, and he's got a flask in his hand, and he chugs it, and then vomits all over the ground in front of you. It's your friend and mine, everybody's favorite NPC. Omas from is back.

And he says, hey guys! I got so much to tell you! Wait till next episode and I'll tell you everything. Fuck you! We've got a lot of work to do. Tell us now! Fuck you, Tim Curry. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha