The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 189 - Lance Lance Retribution 2: Lance Like Nobody's Watching

Episode Date: January 8, 2019

The rejuvenated dullahan interrupts the party's attempt to fulfill their geas. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Earn the points. Share the journey. With the TD Aeroplan Visa Infinite Card, earn up to 50,000 Aeroplan points. Conditions apply. Offer ends June 3, 2024. Visit tdaeroplan.com for details. This episode is brought to you by Tresemme. Want silky smooth hair that's still full of natural movement? The Tresemme Keratin Smooth Weightless Collection is your simple solution. This new collection features a wide range of products from nourishing shampoo and conditioner to lightweight heat protectants and a silky smooth serum for a sleek finish. Wave goodbye to frizz

and say hello to three days of smooth hair with the Tresemme Keratin Smooth Weightless Collection. Visit Tresemme.com to learn more. and smooth weightless collection. Visit Tresemme.com to learn more. Previously on the Glass Cannon Podcast. And right when you walk into the Great Hall, you get that sense that the body of the Doolahan isn't there anymore where it fell. Oh, no.

Because all I can conjure up in my head is all the dying I've been party to. Ashpeak. It is death that follows us. Your name. What? And then clip, clop, clip, clop, clip, clop. Oh, no.

Death that seeks us. His new hex is he, I took the flight hex. Oh, no. Death that seeks us. His new hex is he, I took the flight hex. Oh, nice. I hate to break it to you, but you're going to die now because the last person on this podcast had a fly hex and it killed her. That's right. During the fly hex. Yeah. It killed her.

Good night, Joe. Good luck, my feline friend. You show her out and imagine her roaming for a little bit. And then she sees up in the distance a shack and as she gets closer she hears what can only be described as a chorus of voices

and light and the shack starts shaking. Ash P. There is a veil beyond which we may cross and if it is forced to happen Ash Pea. Oh, shit. There is a veil beyond which we may cross. And if it is forced to happen to you before your time,

just know that there are beacons beyond. There are places your soul can find comfort and peace. Let's start with four bears. Joe, you look pretty psyched by your role. I got a freaking nine. Like, talk about needing to act fast. No, none of us. None of us

are crossing the veil if I have anything to say about it. It charges up and 15 feet away levels its lance. Ch-ch-ch-chunk, ch-ch-chunk, ch-ch-chunk, ch-ch-chunk, ch-ch-chunk, ch-ch-chunk, ch-ch-chunk, ch-ch-chunk, ch-ch-chunk, ch-ch-chunk, ch-ch-chunk, ch-ch-chunk, ch-ch-chunk, ch-ch-chunk, ch-ch-chunk, ch-ch-chunk, ch-ch-chunk, ch-ch-chunk, ch-ch-chunk, ch-ch-chunk, ch-ch-chunk, ch-ch-chunk, ch-ch-chunk, ch-ch-chunk, ch-ch-chunk, ch-ch-chunk, ch-chunk, ch-ch-chunk, ch-chunk, ch-chunk, ch-chunk, ch-chunk, ch-chunk, ch-chunk, ch-chunk, ch-chunk, ch-chunk, ch-chunk, ch-chunk, ch-chunk, ch-chunk, ch-chunk, ch-chunk, ch-chunk, ch-chunk, ch-chunk, ch-chunk, ch-chunk, ch-chunk, ch-chunk, ch-chunk, ch-chunk, ch-chunk, ch-chunk, ch-chunk, ch-chunk, ch-chunk, ch-chunk, ch-chunk, ch-ch Blackout. The adventure continues now. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to another episode of the Glass Cannon Podcast. It's your boy, Grant Berger, a.k.a. Baron Ashpeak, and you know what?

Welcome to another year. Happy New Year, everybody, and I hope your 2019 will be the best you've lived yet. I'm excited because I'm going to get a chance to hang out with some of y'all in Chicago during the most wonderful time of the year to experience traumatizing weather exposure. That event's sold out, but we'll still see you guys on January 27th, 2019 at Lincoln Hall in Chicago, Illinois. But before we leave 2018 in the past, I have to give a special thanks to the Dallas-Fort Worth area GCP Nation for coming out and spending some time with me just a few days before Christmas. I had such a fantastic time and it was great seeing everyone together. I also want to give a special thanks to Amanda, Gary, and Noel for planning the whole shindig. It was truly some Christmas magic.

But that's not all, Dallas. Oh, no, no, no, no. I'm coming back with a posse next time. Troy LaVallee, Joe O'Brien, Skid Mar, Matthew Gabrikaza, and yours truly will be putting on the Ritz at Canton Hall on February 23rd at 7 p.m. You know what? I'm sick of these guys. I want y'all to show these elitist East Coast nerds how everything's bigger in Texas, especially the hospitality. Aww. It's going to be a special night, so even if you live out in Oklahoma, Arkansas, or Louisiana,

you better be there. Just remember, though, hook them horns. I guess the moral of the story that is this intro is that I am hopeful for a new year and thankful for all of the support and friendship. I'm also very thankful I'm not currently in Skirgard in a game of chicken with a headless four-legged monster. Speaking of which, get your popcorn out and get ready to shout because it's time for episode 189.

Lance, Lance, Retribution 2. Lance like nobody's watching. Talk about starting the year off with a bang! 2. Lance like nobody's watching. Talk about starting the year off with a bang! Shaboom! With a hideous gruesome charge.

That old saying. Yep. Starting the year off with a hideous gruesome charge. The old Lance Bass to the face. Imagine just getting slapped with a naked Lance Bass. You would be so lucky. A fade worse than death. I don't know about that. It's true.

Times three credit for sure, though. Oh, man. Yeah. Oh, man. Oh, man. Thank God we had some time between the end of that episode and this episode to really, really dig in. We did. Because in the moment, I wasn't prepared for it.

I mean, obviously, I know I'm looking at a 19 to 20 crit range. I know what kind of damage this guy can lay out. But I also knew that I was going to wrap up the episode pretty soon. So I didn't think we'd get very deep into the combat. that I was going to wrap up the episode pretty soon. So I didn't think we'd get very deep into the combat. And there were a lot of things I needed to think about as this Dullahan was being rejuvenated. There were things that in the moment I didn't consider.

So I'm glad I had some time to go. To add up all those numbers? To just add up all those numbers. You had to get like a pen and everything. There was a lot. There was a lot involved, a lot more. It takes several days. It really does.

And thank God for the subreddit because I use that as a jumping off point to jump off a bridge. It's a good place to jump off a bridge. It's a great place to start if that's your intention. Well, it is a simple fact that there are a lot of people that know the rules far better than we do. Yes. Yeah. And that in itself is depressing. But I'm going to quote Jason Bowman right now

when he said, he was talking to us about getting the rules right. And he goes, I've listened to your show and that doesn't seem to be your thing. It really isn't our thing. It's not. It's not our stock and trade at all.

Well, attempting. Attempting. Try. Yeah, I think we try. Yeah. Yeah, and trade at all. Well, attempting. Attempting. Try. Yeah, I think we try. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. We certainly try. We're a hell of a lot better than when we started this show.

That's true. But it just shows you the depth of this game that even after, how long have we been doing this? Three years? Four years. Four years. We still, and it's not like we, and we played for years before then. You know, we started, if I'm not mistaken, though, we released in June of 2015.

I think we started recording episodes in January of 2015. Yeah, I think that's right. So I think it's been pretty much exactly four years. Exactly four years. And then before that, we each had a few years of Pathfinder under our belt, some more than others. And my God, there's still just so much. It's not even about, like, remembering simple things like oh uh talk about this thing half speed is there's there's the there's the basic stuff like that that just eludes us from

time to time but then there's the deeper levels of the rules that we just i don't know i guess we all need to go back to the core rule book every once in a while yeah i was thinking about that but it's also as you level up you there's new rules like every time you're fighting new like uh crs of enemies and everything there's just new rules the further on you go the more complex those rules get and then you ended in those situations where you're like i've never been in this weird set of so that's exactly what i was just going to say is like so many of them are so situational like we could have played pathfinder for four years and never once had anyone crit on a charge with a lance right you know that's a very specific set of circumstances that have to unfold yeah yeah and

even the the ruling on how how those numbers combine is it's a it's a deep cut in the rule book you really have to dig through the forums but it's in there it's in there yeah we found out um for better or for worse for better better. For better for us. Yeah, for much better. But, yeah, you know, it's not like we don't want to learn them. We just got a lot going on. It's not that bright. It's not that bright.

Fundamentally, not all that bright. There's only so much room up here for rules. They're not that smart. Good story. I have to remember every single line from every Simpsons season from two through eight. And there just isn't much more room. That you have to do. Yeah. That you have to.

And you have all the Monty Python up there, too. I got all the Monty Python. Flying Circus. I got select SNL skits. You have the starting lineups of every major league team from 1982 to 1988. I did this with Troy. Troy, we did this one night. I know the college, the position of everyone and the order,

everyone who was drafted from the 1991 through 1995 NBA drafts. That's insane. I was sitting with Troy one night. I was like, pick seven in 90. And he's like, so-and-so went to Ball State, drafted by the Pacers. He traded up. That's this. Who traded up. Oh, that's right.

They traded up. I used to know this for the major Tony Awards, like back through like 1960 something. Same thing. Same thing. It's even cooler. I would say that's way cooler, Skip. You know, in my mind, that sentence came up and I'm like, they'll probably just gloss over that. Never going to happen.

Can't believe you said that. Four years later, you still believe that. Oh, my God. Three jocks just came in here and beat up Matthew. Who left the door unlocked? He just kicked sand in his face, and they ran away. Where did we get a locker? He stuffed it in.

I was both in high school theater, and I was a varsity athlete. Oh, so fuck you. Matthew. They have racquetball at your college? Matthew, it's pronounced math-leet. Math-leet. No, I was not an athlete. Good job.

Ultimate Frisbee. There's some controversial Oscar nom winners, Oscar Best Picture winners. Do you have a controversial Tony Award winner that you didn't agree with? Oh, there are tons. Okay. Give us one. Throw us one. Just really burn a bridge for the future.

Well, I think what really gets my- Every Scott Rudin production. Oh, no. Those are beautiful. Those are absolutely beautiful. No, what really gets my gullet is when there's just a really weak year. So, like, 1995, there were only two shows up for Best Musical. Oh, that's not right.

So, yeah. It's like, okay, great. You won. Sunset Boulevard won. It's like, great. But you had one other show in competition. Yeah. Yeah. You came first out of two.

It's like the Eagles winning the Super Bowl against a weak Patriots team. Yeah, very much so. Exact same thing. I don't think it should count. How dare you? How dare you? One of the worst Patriots Super Bowl teams. If you go to my Twitter, you can find a Kickstarter.

I'm having to have that Super Bowl revoked from them. I think Troy's already donated $500. Yes, yes, a lot of people have talked about it. It's been great. The Philly special is in legal play. Anyways, let's talk about the show that we do. What is this one called again?

This one is the Glass Cannon. This is a classic show of ours. It is. This is one of our core shows that we do. A true American classic. Do you think it ranks among the top three shows we produce? I would say it's certainly top five yeah it's certainly top five one of our best at rules though um i think that's

actually true it was so sad i've made you wait long enough joe now let's make you wait just a tiny bit longer why don't you all just kind of jump into the pretend copter with me for a second. He renamed it, I see. Yes. Jumping. It's a new thing for 2019. The old pretend copter.

Come to the copter if you want to live. And like a typical, what's a good like 70s Vietnam movie song that would come on? Painted Black. Oh yeah, Painted Black. Or Fortunate Son. Okay, yeah. All along the watchtower. that would come on painted black oh yeah painted black yeah or fortunate son okay yeah all along the watch they all come on at once

this is worse than the m60 fire Ah, hang on. The dead copter's going down. And then the flame of the Valkyries comes on. The dead copter's going down. A lot of radio interference. Oh, man. It's funny because we're a radio show right that's true okay so do we need to reset but no no before the copter went down we're all we're all in imagination land

you almost got you and you see very close the inside of a small wooden shack. There's a single window. Kick up. There's a single window off to the right facing the west where the sun has long passed below the horizon. Our eyes move past the window towards a hulking figure with its back to us, hunched over, sitting on a simple handmade wooden chair. There's a small fire blazing in front of him, casting a giant shadow of him on the wall to the left. Breathing heavily, straight-backed, with eyes closed, hands resting on his knees,

we come around to see Four Bears. He sits alone in this one-room shack, surrounded by stacks of bundled furs along with trapping and hunting equipment. A simple cot stands in the corner, and we zoom in on his closed eyes and straight into his mind. He's calling up a memory.

Once again, we see four bears as a young boy on the verge of manhood, standing in the wild, cold and alone. Another bear emerges from the woods, the third bear to confront him since his grandmother left him in the wilderness. This one is a very large bear compared to the first two, with brown fur starting to gray around the nose and ears back in the shack four bears is scanning through the memory

his eyelids twitching like he's in REM sleep a gravelly voice echoes in his mind a trial of power we see the bear now talking to young four bears your whole life We see the bear now talking to young forebears.

Your whole life, you have been larger than boys your age. You feel that your strength will bring you power. But this is an illusion, one that many fall victim to. A day will come, however, when you will know how powerless you really are. You will be overpowered, and the strength of your great body will fail you. When that day comes, you must be ready to harness the power of the spirit, for its strength is limitless.

The now older forebears in the shack takes a deep breath at the memory. Remembering the trials always helps to center him, to focus on that which is most important. Seeking revenge for the death of his people and finding his sons in the afterlife, whose spirits he has still yet to reach. The fourth bear was small and quick, with jet-black fur and dark, ominous eyes. The trial of purpose. It's the only trial that, even after all these years, still remains a riddle to him. The small bear's voice still echoes in his mind.

What is now will not always be. What becomes may become of nothing. Truth will come from lies as lies will come from truth, and each will owe the other. Undeath will owe the other. Undeath will bring more death. Your purpose will not always be

and your why will come from a truth of lies. Lost in the memory, still trying to make sense of it, Forbear shakes his head as a voice pipes up within the shack.

Until you live a thousand lives in one, you will never understand. Four Bear's eyes snap open and he's returned to the present. A rabbit sizzles over the flame in front of him and sitting across from him on the other side of the fire, the glowing spirit of his grandmother.

He smiles to see her as he's connected with her spirit many times over the years. Little bird, you must focus. I come to you now, only moments ahead of them. Forebearers looks at her quizzically. Now you must remain calm. "'I've asked them for a moment to prepare you, "'but they rush to you like water through the crack in a dam. "'I cannot hold them back any longer.' "'Four Bears' eyes start darting around the room a little nervously. "'These powers that were thrust upon you late in life, my little bird,

"'out of necessity for our people, not by choice or by practice. I trained for many years to keep my footing, but the spirits will crash into you like the surf of a great ocean. They will break upon you and pull back again even stronger, trying to bring you with them to the deep beyond. You must not be swept away by it. In that instant, lights of a hundred colors flash before forebears

and become like blinding white light, like the light of the sun reflecting off the mountain snows. Instinctively, he raises his hands to his face, pained by this sudden brightness, nose. Instinctively, he raises his hands to his face, pained by this sudden brightness, but accompanying the light are what seems like a thousand voices, shouting, screaming, talking, whispering. He senses desperation, fear, sadness,

joy, triumph, defeat. Four Bears tries to make sense of the voices, but there's too many, like too many 70s songs in a pretend copter. His body begins moving back and forth as if there's a physical presence in the room as well, pushing and pulling at his consciousness, pushing and pulling at his own spirit. A great need. He feels a great need, so many needs.

Suddenly, as his eyes adjust to the light, he sees among these spirits that are filling his cabin, adjust to the light, he sees among these spirits that are filling his cabin, his great warrior uncle in the room, bathed in light himself, armed with his tribe's ancestral weapon, ready for war. They need you, Four Bears.

Listen to find the path. Four Bears tries to close his eyes and just focus on a single voice. Through the flashing and shimmering of pink and black and red behind his eyelids, he hears on a single voice. Through the flashing and shimmering of pink and black and red behind his eyelids, he hears maybe a male voice emerge. It's gruff and strong, speaking urgently. Four Bears can't make all of it out, but suddenly he picks something out. The mountain, dear God, seek the giant mountain. Another voice, this time female, and speaking quietly but confidently.

If he tuned out the screams of the desperate spirits, he feels as if he could hear her calm tone. Find my spirit, Walker. Skelt, seek Ash Peak. The way to find us. Then his grandmother's voice comes through, though her spirit is no longer visible in the room. You are doing well. They have not yet pulled you under.

Listen to me, little bird. The giants have killed more than our tribe. They have killed many tribes, Shawanti and others, and they will kill many more. Something is happening in our beyond that I cannot explain to you. But trust this. Follow the path of the spirits, for it will mean reaching your sons. Hearing about his sons, Four Bears starts to fall out of his chair.

Quickly regaining his balance, he moves at once to the door of his shack, throws up the bar, and pushes out into the night. Up above, a half-moon lights the rolling hills Between his shack and Skelt He's picking through the voices Find my spirit walker, Skelt Ashpeak, one of the voices had said The way to find us Seek the giant mountain

The mountain of giants It's all mixing together in his brain Suddenly, behind him in the night He hears a shuffling noise coming from the bushes giants, it's all mixing together in his brain. Suddenly, behind him in the night, he hears a shuffling noise coming from the bushes some distance beyond his shack. Turning quickly, he catches the moonlight glinting off the eyes of a large animal. Perhaps a cat. The eyes regard him for a moment, then turn away, black fur melting into the night. All of this goes through your mind, forebears, as this headless horseman levels his lance and charges directly at you with a confirmed crit.

Oh, wow. Oh, well, uh, were we supposed to, is that forebears in that memory? Yes.

Yeah. That makes a lot more sense than what I was thinking. Who'd you think it was? I don't want to talk about it. Yeah. Doom, doom, doom. Ah! Doom, doom, doom.

Ah! It's time. Of the season. So as we learned in the past week, this guy crits normally times three. Also, while charging, he does double damage. The way that works is just think of that as times two. When you combine times three and times two, it becomes a times four crit.

That's just how it works. In Pathfinder rules, not in math rules. Right, not in math rules. That's right. Three plus two is normally five. Times three is normally six. One of the times three and one of the times two is just the normal damage. Right.

You didn't hit him twice. Right. You only hit him once. Right. So the extra, that's the multiplier like it's added on. Got it. Right. So when you do double damage, you roll the original hit and one more level of damage.

Got it. Right. When you roll a triple, you roll one and two more levels of damage. Right. So when you combine the one more and the two more, you get three more. Right. One, two, three, four. Four times damage. This is a times four crit. Which means Four Bears

is fine. You're gonna be fine. He's gonna be fine. He may very well be fine. Now here's the thing. This is a named character. Yes. Yes. So this is going to be a crit pulled out of here. Before you start looking, Joe, I just want to go over. I'm so nervous.

I hate that you're the one that has to do this. This is his job. That's the king of honesty. This is the thing. Think about how we do Baron's crits. If it says double damage, it does the prescribed crit damage. So if the crit says double damage, it will remain a times four crit. If it says normal damage, it will remain a times four crit. If it says normal damage,

it will be a times three crit. If you pull up a triple damage crit, I won't even bother rolling the dice. No, actually I will. You roll all the time when you don't have to. How badly he gets the payoff. That'll be a times five crit if it says triple.

Yeah, okay. Before we look up what the crit is, do you have any interesting magical items on your a times five crit if it says triple. Yeah, okay. Before we look up what the crit is, I just want, do you have any interesting magical items on your person right now? Just asking for a friend. Yeah, I have plenty of stuff for you to take. Should you live long enough? Even if he goes down, I don't know

how anybody's going to fight this thing. Yeah. Faye Rouse has been eyeing those druid's robes in your backpack. Yeah, holding out on backpack Yeah Holding out on me Holding out on me Oh Brian He's got the good stuff I'll give you some good news

So yeah I think that I think You know At the end of last Week I thought that He was

You know 100% dead He's definitely not 100% dead Because after the Four times thing And then thinking about Our first fight

With this guy I'm feeling a little More confident I think he's going to be okay. Okay. Now you could roll max damage. I don't know what that is. I don't know what that could do. But like I feel like I'm going to be fine. Well, you want some good news? Yes. This is going to make you

feel like you don't have to worry at all, but you still should worry. You guys took off of his person a belt of thunderous charging. The belt of thunderous charging. The belt of thunderous charging. Do you remember doing this? No. Yes, I do.

Yeah. Okay. You all were there. Made me think of another character that could charge. Yes. We said this would be great. For Sir Will.

That's right. All right, so... We got to bring Joe into the memory and then he'll remember. Yes. When you hit someone on a charge with that, your dice go up. D6s become D8s. D8s become D10s or whatever it is.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. As far as you can see, this rejuvenated version of him does not have said belt on. Wow. Oh, okay. Okay. So even better. Even better. Oh, bears!

It's still a significant amount of damage. My buddy bears! Read me the fan critical. All right, I haven't even looked at this, so I'm going to try to do it quick. I'll tell you this much, Joe. If you don't die, or if you... I will consider healing you. Oh, thank you.

That's sweet of you. Thank you. Yeah, I mean, that's the thing. It's like there's a huge distance between unconscious and dying for four bears with an 18 con. Sure. You can definitely

still go unconscious, but it's that below con number I think is really going to be hard. I mean, these crits could be like... I wasn't joking.

Really good. Add an extra 3DA damage or something to the double damage. Like, you could never know what these crits are. These fans are wild.

Okay, this one comes in from Tarl or Bo. Ooh. Tarl or Bo. Ooh. Tarl or Bo in Gillette, Wyoming. Oh, no, Gillette. Wyoming seems like a weird nickname. Oh, boy. I'm a chic man myself.

My heart just jumped out of my chest. I don't know what it does. Okay. But it's called O-H-O-H-O-H-O-U-R-F'd. Four bears. That doesn't sound that bad. Wait, does it say four bears? It says O-H-O-H-U-R-F'd. Insert name here. Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho. You are effed. Four bears. That doesn't sound that bad. Wait, does it say four bears? It says, oh, ho, ho, you are effed.

Insert name here. Oh, four bears. Oh, ho, ho. Now, I read this once, obviously, a while ago, but I just don't remember it. Okay. Give it to us straight. I'm shaking. You hit your target so incredibly hard that you feel the target's body bend and then break,

knocking them off their feet in the process. Increase your weapon's crit modifier by one. Oh my God! Double damage does triple damage, triple damage does four times damage, etc. And the target is knocked prone. Reflex save reduces the critical multiplier

to normal, but the target is still knocked prone. Oh my God. I mean, I mean, so, we're looking at a times five critical. Just the worst thing that could have happened. Yeah. I mean,

unless you really hate being prone. That's the real difference. The prone doesn't matter. The real difference is I think five times kills him. Four times, I think he's fine. I think your chances of survival at four times are very, very good. Unless I roll killer. Yeah. Well, reflex save, it's not going to be great, but I don't think it's going to be that bad.

He doesn't wear armor. I'm looking on my computer for my character sheet. It's on my iPad. Okay. Reflex save. Oh, shit. Against my AC? It's your AC, right?

Oh, no. that's not good um i can't believe this just happened i mean your ac what's it called again it's called oh you are effed for bears oh you and i've been texting so much Over the past couple days And I have been I couldn't have been more vague with you about this Yeah, I went back The only reason I felt more confident Is because I went back and listened to our first fight And I heard the damage you did to four bears With power attack

And you did 30 points damage to four bears You did 33 to Baron in that fight And I was quadrupling it And I was like, I live If he does those damages, I live And that was with a Well, I I was like I live if he does those damages I live and that was with a well I guess he wasn't charging when he did those so the thunderous thing didn't come into play maybe but but so then I was like he'll be fine and I do a lot of these I read a lot of these crits and not a lot of them are triple damage very few almost all of them are double

damage there's very few people that are like I only want to do normal damage like everybody writes in they want to do double damage. We were sitting in the kitchen before this. I'm like, are there a lot of triple damage crits? You're like, there's a couple. Yeah, not a lot. Not a lot. Not many.

But I said there's almost no normal damage. There's only a few psychopaths who want to totally alter the trajectory of our podcast to that degree. And one of them lives in Wyoming. I'm sure that they did pay for the privilege. They did. You know what? You open up the crit deck, though. There are triple damage in there. There was a decapitation that almost killed Lorca.

That's right. Straight up decap. Okay, so we're putting it off too far. I'm pretty sure that it is the AC of the creature that's hitting you that your save is against. Because usually it's when you're doing a crit. Yeah, the DC is the AC of the creature. Yeah. So now let me ask you this.

Remember, a natural 20 is an automatic automatic success That's what I think I need What is your bonus It is plus 9 Okay Do I have to I think you have to get a natural 20 That's my guess You've done it before

I have done it before On certain occasions I have done it. I have done it before. On certain occasions. It's true. I have rolled... Usually not in clutch moments. I have rolled... Hey, Sir Will did it twice to deflect crits

and I rolled really high over 75 on a D100 and did it twice. This is so intense. I am like literally shaking. I went completely dry mouth by the way. It is cruel and unusual.

Natural 20. Play that now. Cruel and unusual. Natural 20. Play that now. Cruel and unusual punishment to have Joe read the crit that could kill him. It's awful. It's like having someone make their own noose before they're like. How great would that freaking crit be if it was yours? If like you always just do double damage. Yeah.

And then you're like, yeah, triple damage. Yeah. Where did it come from? Cottonmouth Joe? Just sing how the Doolahan feels. Alright, so I have my original D20. I have my original D20, which is famous for rolling a

five on Lork's famous charge. You'll need higher than that. I have my Lucky Die Lately. Okay. What do you guys think? The Lucky Die Lately or the original? You gotta go where the mojo is. Gotta go where the mojo is I don't I don't want to Tilt the scales

Either way Joe It's up to you buddy He said I'll blame you Alright Lucky die lately I was not endorsing Either die I was saying

You have to sense them And choose the mojo This die showed up in LA Somebody gave it to me in LA It's the orange die With the green numbers It came up in the Pathfinder playtest

And I rolled amazing And it's rolled pretty well since. So here we go. Oh my God. Grant's standing up. Grant's on his feet. Natural 15. Okay.

24. No. When he charges, his AC goes down. That's right. It goes down by two. Two. Or maybe by one. Plus two to hit, minus one to AC.

You're so close. This is very important. You know what? I'll add the condition charging. I believe it's a minus two to AC. What'd you get? I got a 24. His AC is now 25.

Oh, man! While charging. his AC is now 25 oh my god while charging oh my god oh my god there are so many double damage crits in there there's so many well Joe I'm gonna go ahead and roll the damage Well, Joe I

I'm gonna go ahead and roll the damage This is a I'm like I'm sick to my stomach Is there It's so weird because I was totally fine with him gone Like I completely accepted it And then I started doing the research

And we found out about the four times thing And I was like Oh, it's Four times is gonna be fine There's still a chance, right? You could roll shitty And I would still... How many hit points do you have

left? I don't want to tell you. I don't want you to know the number. I just want you to roll until... But just multiplying his bonus damage by five is going to be enormous. That alone might do it. With power attack on, shit. I'm literally shaking as I'm rolling these dice yeah I'm shaking

oh man oh that's a bad one for you all you need is one bad roll I think and then it's done so god damn it I think he's actually writing down numbers he's doing the math. He is. 159 points. Jesus fucking Christ. Plus four Sonic.

You're such a dick Oh god What's the four times So just take one Take like your best D whatever you rolled away What it would have been Four times Well it was 110 points of bonus damage

Right off the top And that was when it was five times Yeah at five times And then it was five times? Yeah, at five times. And then it was 10d6 on top of that plus 1d6 Sonic, so 11d6. So it would have been 8d6. It would have been 8d6 plus 88. 96 plus 88. 96 plus 88.

I'll tell you what that would have been 88 plus with my actual rolls I'm still shaking So just take away those last two I really want to know if Tarle or Bow killed me 124 points of damage maybe Okay so yeah that does not kill him Definitely puts him down

But does not kill him Shit So explain to me what happens So yeah, that does not kill him. Definitely puts him down, but does not kill him. Shit! So explain to me what happens. This lance goes, I mean, pinpoint right through your beating heart. Well, let's go with the crit. You hit your target so incredibly hard that you feel the target's body bend and then break, knocking them over. So I imagine, yeah, like even this Doolahan from his perspective, if he could feel anything, he feels it just like go straight through, right? I mean, you could even say at that speed with that size, Four Bears has his shield up.

And you could even say at that speed with that size, Four Bears has his shield up. It just like goes right through his shield, right through his armor, right through his bones, right through his body and out the other side. He probably knocks Faraza over. Is Faraza behind him? He's standing right behind you. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. So, yeah, if he goes prone. All right. So what I imagine is it's just like, right? And just like if uh to see forebear's face and it's just like

silence blocked the blow didn't hit me how do i not must have been fine but something's off something's different and he's just standing there looking at this guy and it's almost like time stops and he's just standing there looking at this guy, and it's almost like time stops,

and he just turns around, and there's his body, like, bowled over, Feyraza, like, falling to the ground in slow motion. Like, this guy knocked him so hard, he knocked his spirit, like, right out of him. Like, his spirit stayed right where it was, and he knocked his body right out. Yeah, yeah.

That's what I imagined, and he's looking, and he's like no no no and then some like light it starts coming for him and he's just like no no no no and then it develops him he's got chills all of i feel like baron looked over right as it happened and saw these disembodied shawanti just like holding four bears up with their hands and just like trying to push them forward and hold them up and then in that single blow they just first disperse oh man when i hear body breaking in half i imagine something actually pretty grotesque you know what i mean like oh, yeah. Like the cover of when Bane killed Batman, that old comic. His back just broken in half. Yeah, backbone just snapping in two.

He had 115 hit points, so 133 damage would be permadeath. So he obviously overdid it. But I mean, that much damage in one shot. Now that is the new highest damage that you have ever rolled on this show I think so. And may ever will, dare I say, without mythic rolls We got a couple more bucks. 159 in one hit?

Troy's gonna get a tattoo of this 159 right on his tramp stamp. And just underneath it like F.P. What does that mean? It's a really long story. Hop in this copter with me and I'll tell you. I don't want to go to the beach with Daddy. They all laugh at him.

You know, it would have been, those would have been D8s if it had the belt of plunderers charging. And then, I mean, probably game over. But without that, I mean, you had every chance in the world were it not for this guy in Wyoming that does not care for you. Gillette, Wyoming. Tarl or Bo. Wow. Would have been a great crit if it was for us, man. Yeah.

Thanks. Oh, man. Yeah, if Baron gets that crit, time's fine. Time's fine. Gun crit. Right. All right, let me ask you this. He's currently at minus 44, so get those heels ready.

That would have killed you at full heels ready That would have killed you At full health Right No 159 Yeah It would have killed me By two points Yeah It would have killed anyone Plus four Sonic

Yeah Oh right right right Six points It would have killed Baron Yeah Baron has 127 head points Yeah I have a 100

Pembroke would have lived Oh yeah I'd be fine Oh you know what It would have been On one of my mirror images and I would have been totally fine. This old frail old man.

You know what? I didn't even think of this. It would not have killed him if we were not under the effects of the curse. You mean that? Because your con is three lower. Yep. I just took the con off

Well no that hit Just now would have But it wouldn't have Killed him at full health Right If we didn't have That ability score penalty Well

Not to be Rude But is your light spell Selected in the box Because that's really Going to affect It should be right Because he cast

It on the object. That's true. It probably doesn't require concentration, does it? I want to grind this to a halt. It doesn't require concentration. Shut up. What no one can see at home is that the minute Troy read that damage op, he put the red X over four bears on both sides.

Like he's a common orb. Like he's a common, yeah. You like that little touch? I'm going to go get a porter. Yeah. So I'm going to carry your bags? I'm going to go. Moving right along,

it is Feyraza's turn. Feyraza, you see this happen, and you know, I won't say, I won't steamroll you into getting knocked over, but every part of you. I mean, his body is on top of me.

If I get knocked over, I can't of you. I mean, his body is on top of me. If I get knocked over, I can't... That much damage, that much force? You're going for rules as flavor there, not as written, but... What's wrong with that? I like it. That's cool. Go for it. So you're prone, and your friend is...

has never been more dead. That's true. Very true. Okay. I didn't realize I was going next. Well, I can say, Baron, you did ready an action to fire. You can take that action if you want. And he's currently 25 feet away, which is two range increments outside of the Umlo, the Dragon's Breath weapon's range. I see 40 feet. I'm sorry. So that's three range incre's breath weapon's range. I see 40 feet.

40 feet. I'm sorry. So that's three range increments outside of his range. There is no grit left, but I think in seeing this, Baron just goes, no! And fires a shot. 10 on the die. That's going to be minus. So three range increments minus nine.

So that's a 14 to hit. That's not a hit. And that's against, minus nine. So that's a 14 to hit. That's not a hit. And that's against regular AC. No, that is a miss. So just a... It is Feyraza's turn. I'm going to keep you, Baron, as going ahead of the Dullahan because you readied that action.

Technically, you would have got that shot off before it hit and killed four bears. Oh, God. I think Farazza would spend her action trying to do a heal check on four bears. Okay. Let's see if he's dead. I mean, I guess it would be pretty obvious.

With that attack, I mean, he would be obliterated. Like, you would know. Minus 44 hit points. It's minus 44. It's like if the Fargo guy on the wood chipper, it's like, let me see if he's actually dead. I know it's just his foot sticking out of the chute, but I'm going to check.

If that lance went straight through the shield, it had to have pierced straight through him, not to be gross, but there were probably organs impaled as the lance came out the other side. Like a kebab. Yeah. It's got heart and a couple lungs on there.

Just like starts to like, after he knocks DeRosa over, he just starts to like lift four bears in the air from 50 feet away. You know how strong it has to be to lift four bears from 50 feet away? Yeah, it's a big deal. He slides down the lance. And he puts on several onions and peppers afterwards. Not to keep harping on it, but indulge me one more second. Without that curse,

I just realized I would have made the save. It was only one point. My reflex save would have been one higher. So without that curse, I definitely would have lived in this moment. Zorix.

Zorix. Faye Raza, what are you thinking? Okay, Faye Raza is going to begin casting. Begin casting. Yeah. It is now to begin casting. Begin casting. Yeah. It is now Pembroke's turn. I'm not in range of the lance right now, am I?

Right now, you are not. Okay, yeah. Five foot step and get you in range. Farazza will stand up and begin casting. Okay. Pembroke knows that we are effed, much as Mr. What's-His-Name from Gillette, Wyoming. Tarl Orbo. Tarl Orbo.

I can't even name my assailant. One of two. That could be his whole name. We could be being incredibly racist. Tarl Orbo. Tarl Orbo. Taylor. It's definitely written as two words.

Tarl Orbo. whoever this horrible person is i'm gonna give out his email to gcp uh no i'm so tell him what you think it's dox him uh yeah so you might actually get some fan mail. Pembroke knows that this situation is untenable. And so he is going to move right behind Feyraza. And it says, Baron, to me, we must leave. Pembroke stands behind Feyraza. It now goes past Forbear's turn to Baron.

Baron, he yells out to you. Says, gotta get out of here. Baron skedaddles. He moves with fear and hatred in his eyes, and he yells out at the creature. It was Ashpeak. It was my name. Me you were looking for, and I'm coming back.

Baron moves there um skid do you did you ready an action or anything or did you did you need to just move and wait well i don't i don't i don't think i can ready an action after moving but you can i can't then as long as it's a standard as soon as like everyone in the party is within touch range, boom. Four bears, too? Four bears' body, too? Oh, well, in that case, then I move so that I can within touching range of him, too. So, yeah.

Then everybody together, laying hands on them, boom, in a flash, we're gone. Back to the forge forge roll a d100 oh god 57 you're alright you're alright you arrive at the forge in the same exact positions you are in with this broken heap of forebears

what are you doing um ferrazzo like like tries to just to see what happened on the body. Like he got eviscerated. Yeah. He got killed by Lance. I saw that part. Yeah. You're pretty sure you're not a doctor, but at first glance,

it looks like you got murdered. She might be acting irrationally. You dick. What could have happened to him? Uh, Baron is going to also take a look at what happened. He's got to determine the cause of death. He got his flu shot.

Baron's going to flip his shield on its back and place four bears on it. He's going to ask for help from Feyrasa, and he's going to begin cleaning his wounds. He'll take off just his, well, he's not wearing armor, right? That would have helped. He's just, god damn it matthew son of a bitch i was flat-footed he's going to begin tending to his wounds and reciting whatever incantations he knows to torag but he'll also every once in a while mention um the names the ancestors. He's heard for bears. He'll kind of, he won't try to do any prayers that for bears would have done,

but he'll like say in their memory and for bears memory and the memory of his grandmother and the memory of this person, please give him safe passage. Says a little prayer for four bears. Says a little prayer for four bears. What the hell do you do now? You barely knew the guy. It's true.

In game time, we've been playing with him ever since the Chapel of Urgothoa. 26 episodes. 26 episodes. Maybe it's been... Now, he did take some time to make baron's gun yeah but beyond that and you probably got to really know him there but so it's been a couple of weeks a few weeks we did not know him well but it's combat too i mean i mean this is a very intense experience with another human being and i think especially pembroke i think just knowing shawanti and having been his translator for a while he feels

i mean i think he i guess this is happening he's he's like leaning on his on his staff I guess as this is happening, he's like leaning on his staff. And Enshuanti says, May the mightiest horses carry across the plains to Phrasmas Boneyard. May you rest. May you rest with the spirits of your ancestors. You were very brave.

Very brave boy. Brave man. Just kind of lays his hand on his arm. We did not know him well. He did not know us well. And yet, he took up our cause as if it was his own.

We must honor this. Honor the fight. Honor the causes that he fought for. I don't even know where to bury him. I don't know where his family lived, if he had any that survived him. I don't know if he's the last of his line. I don't know if he has any kin to his name whatsoever, any children.

But I know that we're left. And we have to carry on the majesty with which he fought on the battlefield. Carry his bravery and strength in each of us and allow it to guide our magics and weapons against the evil that remains in that terrible tomb.

It's not the meal I would have asked for, but it's one that'll keep me going. Rest well, four bears. He takes his cloak of resistance plus five and puts it over his face to grant him final repose.

The cloak now becomes unmagical and useless. But it was a grand gesture. Such a kind sacrifice What are you doing? Fool! Brought the snatch to the back

We barely knew him It's a blanket right there Who is this guy? It's a blanket right there Farron sees this go down And she walks over. What took place? How did he fall?

His body was broken by the foe. He took a lance through the throat, remember? Through the chest. We all know this, remember? Ah, yes. It's very obvious and I wasn't even there. Does it take a heel check to see that he was killed by a lance?

Upon horseback, no doubt. Did the man have a head that killed him? No. This man, I did not know him other than the times that you brought him here. But seeing him now, he had giant's blood in him did he

I mean look it's right there in his features maybe it's something that only I can sense but somewhere somewhere in his line,

the very people that he was fighting, it's in him. Oh, well, good that he's dead then. That's really fucking weird, Matthew. I'm going to remember that.

I was going to heal you and everything. I didn't even know. It does appear that Skirkotla's tomb, the place where anyone with giant's blood falls risk of corruption or even death. This was the greatest challenge four bears ever could have faced and I only wish that we were strong enough

to help him see it through. You know him better than I did but if you don't have a plan for what to do with him I can put him at rest for you here in the forge. What is left for you in that tomb? Four bears fought amongst the spirits of his ancestors. Now we must fight among the spirit of four bears.

We must go back. But we must go back with a plan. Yes. Varen, it's somehow even more terrible than what was done here at Mineral's Valley. The perversion. The just total lack of compassion and love of life. Total absence of it. It's colder there than I've ever and love of life. Total absence of it. It's colder there than I've ever felt in my life.

And even here, my fingers and toes feel icy. But we do have to return. But we do have some business. Please, let's find him a place to rest at the forge. And then I guess we could go look for that. Yeah. Do I know anything? Throw him in a broom closet.

Well, do I know anything about Shawanti burial customs that I could inform? I'm sure if you slept on it, you could think of something you'd want to do. I mean, do we know what qua he was yes yeah what was it again joe i'm sure you told them at some point linqua um he's it's kind of complicated because he was the um he would have told you that he was a member of the shashqua which was the bear clan but that they were kind of an offshoot of the Lairun Kwa, which is the moon clan.

And it was, it had to do with his, the relationship of his grandmother with his grandmother's sister who was in the Lairun clan. You know, you wouldn't know all the details of that, but you would know that

both of those clans are more so, you know, where he would, I guess, want to those clans are more so you know where he would i guess want to be buried but he you know if possible i was just thinking maybe we could if we the only show on to we've had contact with so far the scone qua but he's not a member of that qua right yeah and the quas do not really get along no not all of them are enemies of all of them but some of you just wouldn't really know which ones and it's safer to bet that they would not necessarily but pembroke might know the region where we would have to go oh certainly the lairoon qua yeah yeah but i but i wouldn't i wouldn't be

able to teleport there because i'm not having right actually been there so we could send try to send word yeah we could have general repose and just you know keep him in a linen chamber uh preserved until we were able to like return him to his homeland yeah i love the idea of someone from his clan making the journey to this former giant's nest that we cleaned out and like what it is for tomorrow and this like non-denominational faith place and then lying up and being met by Farron and whatever misunderstanding might happen from there and her

just like slowly letting them in and showing them to the body of four bears. That's cool. Yeah. So we'll write him a letter. That's the solution. Send a raven. That's what my dad always said. Just him a letter. That's the solution. Yeah. Send a raven. That's what my dad always said. Just write a letter.

All right. So what's the plan? I don't know if this is the right time. But you did say you had some cool shit on you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's for the sake of the adventure.

We have to. We were messed up with you there there and now you're not even there like we are shorthanded i want you to know that ferrazza is is mourning fully matthew is just thinking we have to curious about the gear curious well he had a headband of alluring charisma plus four helpful oh i have. What else you got? Oh, the wands of cure light wounds. Good. You hit two of those.

And I'll give you charges on that. They all snapped in the lance. They all took the lance damage. Why would you have them right next to your heart? That's just foolish. Belt of mighty constitution plus four. Oh, nice. And then the cloak of resistance that he had given baron previously

right cloak of resistance okay uh and then of course the ancestral weapon of his people son of a bitch you can keep that they'll bury you with it yeah well there's what's the carry me home with my shield or on it thing yeah we'll leave that we'll give the shield with you yeah yeah put them on the shield well yeah and the shield is from the adventure so i don't know if you want to hold on to that the other shield that he was using oh right right right yeah the steel from the adventure yeah the sure-footed shield sure-footed she wasn't too sure-footed in that one no no no it wasn't i read that a couple times i was like does it do anything against the charge like nope bull rush maneuver was that the one that was equipped or awesome blow or overrun yeah like any fortification on

those shields no no that would have been really nice you've got the belt of constitution the cloak of resistance and the wands what's the cloak of resistance is a plus what plus four oh yeah That's nice. Very nice. Who wants it? I'm just trying to move things along. Yeah, yeah. Fair enough.

I told you, Farazza is mourning. Yeah. Matthew is not. Matthew had some time to think about this. Yeah, that's true. We all do. Well, Baron should take the cloak. And then you want the belt of constitution?

Or you want to roll off for it? I'm wearing a belt of dexterity right now. All right. Throw it in the bag. Probably do someone else more good than me. What are you wearing, Fiorazza, on the belt? What are you wearing? Oh, I'm wearing a belt of giant strength plus six.

Oh, that's right. Oh, you don't need any more. It was offered to four bears. Do you have a belt? No, I'm good. You have a belt, which is crazy. I'm wearing a belt of dexterity plus two. Okay.

I could switch to the Constitution and just lose a little bit of hit and damage. I mean, the Constitution would do, but it also helps my armor class. But let's see. Maybe we'll run into some, miraculously run into another friend that would agree to accompany us on our adventures. Yeah. And whoever that person is, maybe they'd like it i mean i hope this person all right whoever we run into wasn't privy to what forebears was carrying prior to us running across them no heaven forbid my character doesn't know anything about that my character's been surprised that we continue to pick up new team members even though the ones continue the ones

that have died have died totally gruesome it's not like we're holding like tryouts And we have to sit down with applicants And be like look the last person who held This position Didn't fare so well they're all coming to us With a divine purpose Do you know how many people have been in the temptations Like over the decades

It's like 40 guys 40 guys have been in the temptations But they're still an active band Yeah and they're still touring. So there's a precedent. I'm saying there's a precedent. This isn't that crazy. So in a broom closet is a totally nude forebearers

leaned against the wall. Right, next to the mop bucket. Come on. We found him. He's wrapped in linens in a place. A pair of sunglasses. A place of honor. A place of honor. A place of honor.

Somebody drew a dick on his forehead. Oh, my God. It was that kid with the Wanda color spray or whatever. What's his name? Ralphio? Ralphio. Fucking Ralphio. He ruins everything.

So let's get back to what the hell are you going to do here? What is the next thing you're going to do? Yeah, so I'm saying, like, we are, where we are right now, the mindset we have to have is, like, we are, our backs are against the wall. We can't stop. But we don't have any, like, recourse. We don't have any sources to call for help as far as i can think so i think we're just going to try to bolster ourselves as best as we can repair baron's gun get healed up um take the powers of the forge before that that will that will it can grant us

before we go back and just hope for the best yeah we had talked about this off air so the powers of the forge at caster level 20 is going to be able to fix your gun. Yep. No problem. And I think Baron would hand the gun over, which at this point looks like after Bugs Bunny put a wine cork in the end of Yosemite Sam's gun

and it explodes like an accordion field. He's going to hand that to him. Fans out. Exactly. That's good. Pembroke, I introduce you to this weapon. You've seen it in battle. You've heard me call it the Judge before.

Its other name is the Lawbringer. I ask you to bring it back to finish the fight. I will. I will use the power granted us here to restore it. We will try. We will try again. And he does the

make hole at the forge at caster level 20. The magic of the forge. So badass. And so there are nine charges left in the forage as well which we can do other things 19 i think forge does a lot i think it's 20 charges we never did anything with the forge before just made things and resize stuff oh we made the gun there yep we made the gun and that doesn't count against the charges. Well, and I fixed, I put the name of Umlo and Della inside of my other guns.

But it's charges per day. It charges every day. So it's, yeah. Anything else we can do? What other spells have they got? We can do stone skin. Really? Castle level 20? Yeah, castle level 20. How have we not been stone skin. Really?

Castle level 20? Yeah, castle level 20. How have we not been doing that every time? We're stupid. Well, the duration is still 200 minutes on that, it looks like. But we're going to go straight back into the battle. That's true. Right. Um, yeah, we can do bull strength for one charge, magic weapon for one charge, make

hole, which we've done uh fabricate major creation for three charges stone shape for three charges stone skin three charges iron body five charges stone to flesh five charges wow so we can do tomorrow morning right before we leave we can do three of us well all three of us can get stone skin we should definitely do that yeah that would give us how many how many hit points uh that is it's dr dr 10 and then but each blow takes 10 of those points away but it's a total of 150 points that can be taken away wow so uh at that casual level 20 oh yeah yeah, maximum 150 points. Yeah, so... Holy shit, that would have saved Four Bears a life.

It would have. And you don't have to do the material cost. No, because it's a spell-like ability. Spell-like ability. Humongous difference. I'm pretty sure Ralphio's selling those material components in the corner. I mean, you know, we have to do that. I say we as if I'm going to

continue on the show, but we have to do that. say we as if i'm going to continue on the show but we have to do that as you become our color commentary right exactly that was crazy boom he's on his back the uh the um uh the idea of like buffing here and then like teleporting right into the tomb and going into the fight all all buffed up is is nice but it's got to kind of be at the point where we're like and we're not teleporting back you know what i mean like yeah no matter what happens we can't get back but i guess you could always just prepare two teleports but that's your high level spell i always do that anyway okay yeah i'm also terrified of like every high level adventure i played which is one there have been enough like places where 100 well no the one besides this one um there are enough like high level places where like there's a magic on the place that screws with teleportation or locks you in place or something terribly wrong

happens we've always teleported outside and like marched up to it rather than going in and that that scares me to a little bit. True. But I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, but right now we don't have any other resources for help that I can think of that we can access readily before. I mean, we could try to go back to Skelter

or True Now to recruit, but I don't think we have that kind of time. It's not like we could go to True Now and be like, we need your next 12th level hero to come join us. And you run into the issue with True Now that Pembroke's never been there.

Sure, Skelt. Skelt we could go to. Well, that's the thing. We need to wait another day anyway to shake the effects of the curse. So we might as well... I can memorize three teleports go back return the head um well i guess i would still only need to so go back return the head

and then teleport back to skel spend the night there try to find try to find someone while we're there i mean where's then go back yeah know, like it'd be a desperate, like the most earnest, sweaty Craigslist ad. That's right. So at the end of the day, you're going to rest the night. Yes. For sure.

Yeah. Or are we going to try to do this head thing now and then rest the night? No, because I need another... I'm out of teleports. Oh, you're out of teleports. So I need to do... We need to do that in the morning. Great. So you rest the night no because i need another i'm out of teleport so i need to do we need to do that in the morning great so you rest the night and when you wake up you now have a minus six to all your ability scores because it's been another day that you haven't completed the

quest oh god jesus this guy's a real brutal taskmaster, man. This guy's such a dick. We're doing him a favor. You're a man down and a minus six to all your ability scores. On top of that, you're going to teleport to an area that you've only viewed once. On target is one to 76. Pretty good odds. Shit. Off target is 77 to 88. Off target can be very bad

89 to 96 is a similar area and now 97 to 100 is a mishap oh just another nearby area with a bunch of dwarven skulls and their weapons trophy room we're gonna end up in

Lord of the Rings so you have a minus 6 now Trophy room. We're going to end up in Lord of the Rings. It's going to be terrible. So you have a minus six now to all of your ability scores. Skid, I think you should go ahead and roll that D100 sometime next week. We'll see you then. Sorry, Joe. Happy New Year, buddy. Don't bother coming next week, next week you don't have to come

I need some time take a day off have a nice glass of wine my New Year's resolutions are coming through I think it's a good time for Joe to have a third child the Glass Cannon podcast is a Glass Cannon Network production

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