The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 191 - Climb Gonna Git You Sucka

Episode Date: January 22, 2019

With a new companion in tow, the heroes continue their exploration of the tomb by crossing a gaping chasm. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official membe...r of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:30 This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast. Let's just go ahead and roll for initiative. Oh boy. Let's just do it. But stop talking about doing it. And actually do it. The heroes are set upon by unholy monsters.
Starting point is 00:00:46 Look at those things. Oh, wow. Milky forehead eye. And when their abilities are quickly outmatched. Talk to me about a cone, a 20-foot cone from here. They'll turn to
Starting point is 00:01:01 their new ally. It is your turn, good dog. Beautiful. Show us what you got. To show them the way. He'll turn to their new ally. It is your turn, good dog. Beautiful. Show us what you got! Show us what you got! To show them the way. He's going to close quickly on this creature, and then he is going to leap into the air and grab on to the creature.
Starting point is 00:01:18 The adventure continues. Well done, Dalgrith. Long have I dreamed of a day when I could see you work your magic upon a creature of evil. No. What is going on, everybody? It's your old buddy, Troy LaVallee. Guess what? It's time for another episode of the Glass Cannon Podcast.
Starting point is 00:02:03 Who would have thunk you'd tune in and there'd be another episode of the GCP. Oh man, the March of 200 is in full effect. Now it's legit. Now I feel like we can really, really talk about it. We are less than 10 episodes away from episode 200. I feel like I've said too much and I haven't even said anything. This is a fun week. We got a new episode of the GCP today. Right now. It's happening as we speak. We got a new episode of the GCP today. Right now.
Starting point is 00:02:25 It's happening as we speak. We got another A&A tomorrow. What's A&A? That's Androids and Aliens. That is our Starfinder Dead Sons podcast. What? You don't listen to that show? Are you out of your mind?
Starting point is 00:02:35 You're missing us playing a whole new game. That comes out tomorrow. And then Friday, Raiders of the Lost Continent, our Patreon exclusive Ruins of Aslan podcast. If you're not listening to that, then we're not friends. We are no longer friends. What, you don't like Skid? Do you know Skid GM's that game? If you don't like Skid, then fine, don't listen to it. I will assume
Starting point is 00:02:53 you don't like Skid. And then this weekend, we're going to be in Chicago for Strange Aeons session number three. Sold out show at Lincoln Hall. This is insane. Now that I'm saying this aloud, I can't believe we've got this much going on. I can't wait to get to Chicago. Oh, they say, oh, it's going to be cold. It's going to be too cold to have a show in Chicago in January. It's
Starting point is 00:03:15 too cold out there. Oh, no. I love it. The colder, the better. I hope they don't even have the heat on during the show. Not only am I excited about the show, we have a huge announcement that we're dropping live in Chicago and, spoiler alert, new merch in the merch stand outside of the show. I'm all fired up. We got a new episode. We've got a new character who's sinking his teeth in. Let's just jump right into it. The March to 200 continues with episode 191 of the GCP.
Starting point is 00:03:45 You know what this show's been missing? You know what's been missing, Matthew? What? Combat. I was just thinking that. It's been missing a little encounter action. Yeah. It's so great.
Starting point is 00:04:02 It's been so long since during an encounter one of our characters got murdered. In one hit. Yeah. It's so great. It's so long since during an encounter one of our characters got murdered. In one hit. Yeah. We didn't actually do much combat. No, no. The whole time. I feel so wistful and nostalgic for those days. I really miss combat. Those halcyon days. Halcyon days of yore.
Starting point is 00:04:18 When one of our guys got killed. Took a lance to the chest. Yeah. I saw that. Pepperidge Farm remembers. I saw that. pepperidge farm remembers yeah that really that could have gone another way that could have been like a two episode slugfest with the doula hand instead it was a one-shot kill teleport out of there let's introduce a new character and now we're at the bridge everyone wins everyone wins literally everyone but it turns out even you troy even i
Starting point is 00:04:46 always know he'd won because he killed one of us it turns out that like you know we we found out later on that we couldn't have killed permanently this thing in combat anyway so there wasn't really any point to going toe-to-toe with it in the long term. We'll come back, figure out how to do away with it in another way, but it doesn't matter. I still remember defeating her in Springsbane and just skipping out of there. Just a
Starting point is 00:05:15 smile on my face. Time to get rid of this curse. Good to go. Good to go. Just around the corner. Just two sets of double doors. We did it, guys. Yeah, how frustrating would it have been uh whether four bears lives or not let's say four bears dies like you did and you guys stand resolute and the three of you throw everything but the kitchen sink at the doula hand and uh kill it and then you come back and it's alive again yeah see i'm happy like that was a good outcome it all
Starting point is 00:05:47 worked out for the best so everybody's lining yes right silver silver lining you sacrificed yourself to save time um well now you come to this chasm here you saw this chasm you know a few days ago when you uh made your way north and then east to the vault of ignominy you noticed that and i don't remember it was one of you was like you want to go try that chasm uh or you or you were misinterpreting it like maybe we keep going north and i thought that it was like north like another part of the region as long as north is still an option we should just keep going north. You were like, do not go west. And I just thought that meant like west in the mountains.
Starting point is 00:06:31 Like I didn't think it meant like the room on the left. To Corvosa. Yes, exactly. But no, you took a little gentleman's peek up here. Didn't quite want to continue down that train of thought. Went into the room, defeated Springbane. Now you're back here. Your new party member, who goes by the name of Dalgreath.
Starting point is 00:06:57 Dalgreath. Dalgreath. Dalgreath. Dalgreath. Is it D-A-L-G-R-E-T-H? E-A-T-H. E-A-T-H. That's fun.
Starting point is 00:07:03 Dalgreath, yeah. Dalgreath's Deathbringer. Nay, Underfoot. Nay, Underfoot. Does a real, real garbage stealth check. Oh, God. Crumbles his way down the wall. Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Starting point is 00:07:18 And it didn't have to be like this. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! Didn't have to be like this. You could have found a better party member. Could have really stealthed your way in these things. So is that what it is? You're punishing us for letting four bears die? That is exactly right.
Starting point is 00:07:31 Wait till you see how poorly this guy's built, Matthew. Wait until you see. You thought four bears was poorly built. These two creatures come hobbling across the bridge. Let me just widen this so you can see what they look like. Look at those things. Oh, yeah. Oh, wow.
Starting point is 00:07:51 Yeah. Oh. Milky forehead eye. Oh, man. She's got milky forehead eye. So they're like undead cyclopes that just came from, looks like a runic fashion show. That's what they look like. Right. Runic fashion show. That's what they look like. Right.
Starting point is 00:08:05 A runic fashion show. Yeah, runic scarves. They have, like, fancy scarves with runes, like, down them. Sashes. That's a pretty fancy scarf. But when it's a Cyclops, it sort of looks like it's meant to have one eye. Like, these look like they had two eyes,
Starting point is 00:08:20 but then, like, a third eye was made. It looks like there are sockets where regular eyes might once have been. No, no. Remember, I said at the end of last week that the eye, the milky eye is in the forehead. Yeah. Yeah. These are, I mean, it should not be any surprise to you. Maybe a surprise to Dalgrath.
Starting point is 00:08:41 But, oh, some weird undead construction? Nothing. Business as usual here in the tomb. Jeez. And two of them come flying at Dalgrath, who boldly moved up to the edge of this bridge.
Starting point is 00:09:00 Let's just go ahead and roll for initiative. Oh boy. Let's just do it But stop talking about doing it And actually do it Okay come on Roll Rick a roll Rick a roll Good buddy
Starting point is 00:09:14 Good buddy Nick Lowe Baron good buddy Chalk to me 18 18 Alright Feyraza 19 Buddy, chalk to me. 18. 18. All right. Not good. All right.
Starting point is 00:09:26 Feyraza. 19. Oh. Pembroke. 19 also. Oh. Get a room, you two. I have a plus six.
Starting point is 00:09:39 That would be room 19. I have a plus one. Dalgrith. 30. Oh have a plus one. Dalgrath. 30. Oh, yes. Got a good roll in there. If you say Dalgrath the wrong way, it sounds like downgrade. Yeah. And downgrade,
Starting point is 00:09:58 it's your turn. Downgrade, you're up. Downgrade, Deathbringer. Well, it's a good thing you rolled high because it is your turn good dog beautiful show us what you got okay let's see uh he is what uh five five ten fifteen twenty feet away from these guys uh all right let's go crazy. So he is going to enact an ability that is within this awesome, badass armor that he wears that allows him to get a burst of speed. Ooh.
Starting point is 00:10:36 So all of a sudden, sort of magically quick, you see him like, and he gets up to this creature, and it's kind of ambling across, right? And now as he gets close, he's kind of ambling across. Right? And now as he gets close, he's going to do a knowledge religion. I'm assuming they're dead. That they're undead. That's my assumption. Okay. I'm going to do a knowledge religion. Go for it. See if I can get anything
Starting point is 00:10:56 out of that. 18. They are indeed undead. Beautiful. Okay. And he's going to, and they have two legs, two arms, right? Yep, and one eye. One eye, and they're large creatures. They are large creatures, not necessarily giants, Grant.
Starting point is 00:11:18 Oh, that'll be useful for my swift action pain. Oh, well, can I do another check? You can do as many knowledge checks as you want, right? They're free actions, aren't they? So I'll do a knowledge local to see if it's giant subtype 28. It is not giant subtype. Okay, not giant subtype. They're not giant subtype.
Starting point is 00:11:35 All right. They're aquatic. He's going to close quickly on this creature, and then he is going to leap into the air right as he gets to it and grab on to the creature. What? What? He's going to grab onto the creature, try to, like, grab just, like, one of these sashes,
Starting point is 00:11:54 get a grip on it, and then whip around to, like, the back of the creature, basically. Oh, my God. Like, onto its back. What kind of a check is that, you maniac? It is a climb check, and it is against its CMD. You're climbing against its CMD? Climbing against its CMD. Oh, it's got a pretty
Starting point is 00:12:11 high CMD, buddy. It's Daredevil. What are you doing, absolute madman? I am doing an ability. So this is a, he's a rogue. He's a vexing dodger archetype, which is from the giant hunter's handbook. Ah, nice.
Starting point is 00:12:27 He has an ability called Limb Climber, so he can climb a creature that's larger than him. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah, so he gets a 36. You climb. On the climb. Yes! Whips around to the back of it, and then just goes to like stab it Right down into his shoulder I love this guy
Starting point is 00:12:47 So you moved up to it and then the climb still counts as part of your movement Right? Well you know it's up to you so I had another 10 feet of movement He has a climb speed going vertically So I thought that he would have enough to just get up there I mean you can call it Right so if you have
Starting point is 00:13:03 So that's still considered part of your movement is what you're saying. That's what I think. I mean, that's the way I have ruled it. I don't know. Is there a rule that says, like, as soon as you start climbing, if you move five feet and then start climbing,
Starting point is 00:13:12 is your 30 feet of land speed gone and then you start a new move action? That's an interesting question. I don't know. In this case, it's cool, so I'm going to allow it. So, yeah, you still have your standard action. So I'm going to try to stab at this dude, and he's flat-footed.
Starting point is 00:13:30 Yes, yes. So let me just do-do-do-doom. Okay, so here we go. That is at 26 to hit. 26 is a hit. Yes! God. Beautiful!
Starting point is 00:13:42 Okay, so he does, I'm not sure how exactly Let's see so he does 25 points Of damage So he moves up to this guy Climbs up his runic scarf And stabs him in the back For 25 points of damage And three of it is holy
Starting point is 00:14:02 So I'm not sure how that factors in, but yeah. Holy. Oh, no, I'm sorry. Did I say 25, 29? 29. I just forgot to add the plot, the bonus. Okay. Yeah, so that's with sneak attack damage.
Starting point is 00:14:16 Okay, very cool. That is very, very interesting. You are now still atop this crazy creature. Yeah, so he's holding on. I am not grappling. He is not grappled now still atop this crazy creature. So he's holding on. I am not grappling. He is not grappled. I'm just on the creature. Just like holding onto
Starting point is 00:14:31 his back. I love it. I love it. It is Feyraza's turn. Feyraza, Pembroke, and Baron are all in various states of flight. I'm not flying yet. I'm just a bird. I could fly.
Starting point is 00:14:46 Okay, here's what I want to do. Oh, boy. I would like to try to warp the area of wood that the second guy is standing underneath, on top of. You want to warp the wood that he's standing underneath. Basically, so he would fall into the chasm. Okay, talk to me about warp wood again. It allows you to...
Starting point is 00:15:07 It allows me to... I cause wood to bend and warp, permanently destroying its straightness, form, and strength. A warp door has a bunch of instances and how it works. Right, right, right. So the way I'm envisioning it is I warp the wood so he can't stand, and he would fall and get a reflex save to see if he stays on the bridge. Right, right.
Starting point is 00:15:23 I like it. All right, go for it. Do I have to to I just roll the Reflex save I mean I'm making that up so What are the what is it what level spell Is it it is a second level spell And what is the DC in General for your second level spells
Starting point is 00:15:36 Like if I if I like roll did The spell on you and yeah yeah just any of Your burning hands DC 16 DC 16 so how about a DC 16 Reflex save to see if this Cockamamie scheme works now would he fall of your Burning Hands. DC 16. DC 16. So how about a DC 16 reflex save to see if this cockamamie scheme works. Now would he fall
Starting point is 00:15:48 if he makes the save? That's what I, I'm trying to make him fall. Let's see how badly I fail if I fail. Natty 19 on the die. Fail. What I will say
Starting point is 00:16:00 is that that wood is now difficult terrain. Okay. And Faraz will take off flying. Okay. Wow. So boomazza will take off flying. Okay. Wow. So, boom. Warps the wood.
Starting point is 00:16:08 Gave you a fighting chance, but it was able to stand resolute. However, it is now difficult terrain, and it is now Pembroke's turn. Pembroke is going to cast Haste on... Oh, gross. Everybody. Everybody. Everybody in the club's getting tipped. cast haste on everybody. Everybody in the club's getting tips.
Starting point is 00:16:33 No, he's actually going to fly out over the chasm and then cast haste on. That should affect everybody. Wow. I don't. You're all hasted. You're all hasted. You're all hasted. Okay. Well, that really separates the men from the boys.
Starting point is 00:16:52 Do you have any other actions? That's it. No, I will do my own religion check to see if I can detect, learn anything productive about them. Ah, 27. 27. Anything particular you want to know or you want me to just give you something juicy? Yeah, give me something juicy. I can give you one piece of...
Starting point is 00:17:14 No, I can give you two pieces of juicy information. They have DR5 good. So that means you need to have a magical weapon of plus 5 to affect it. Wow. So mine all went through. You have a plus 5 weapon? It's holy. That's good. So that means you need to have a magical weapon of plus five to affect it. So mine all went through. You have a plus five weapon? It's holy. That's good. Yes. Yeah, yours went through.
Starting point is 00:17:32 And also they have energy resistance to cold and fire. Wow. Some energy resistance. They're resistant to cold and fire, and if Some energy resistance. They're resistant to cold and fire and if you have a weapon of good
Starting point is 00:17:48 it will penetrate the resistance to damage. He's like holding on he's like I had to fear that was the case. All right.
Starting point is 00:17:59 Well done Dalgrith. Long have I dreamed of the day when I could see you work your magic upon the creature of evil. Yes. This relationship is going to change the show. I have heard of the time when you climbed the linorm of Maldremasan
Starting point is 00:18:17 and went up to its throat and slit it with your magic short sword. You heard of that, did you? Yes. I'll tell you the story was much more dangerous than they say. We will have much time to discuss it after the combat is over. After my next round. Sure. Talk about getting a room.
Starting point is 00:18:36 Room 19. Room 19. It is Baron's turn. All of you go before these horrible creatures. Baron doesn't crave the fame or the adventure, but he's still a little jealous of the fun-loving dwarf. So it's time for Baron to have a little fun, guys. He's on the broom.
Starting point is 00:18:53 He's going to double move on the broom. You got your gun back. And he's going to land on the other side. And at the beginning of the next turn, I guess, can he jump off in midair while I need to get off, dismount the move as a move action next round. You could just jump. Wait, did you use the full complement of your movement?
Starting point is 00:19:12 How far does the broom move? 40 feet with less than, well. That took you 80 feet? Wait, no, the broom moves much faster than that. It says 40 feet with a load of 200 pounds. You don't weigh 200 pounds. I know. Up to 200 pounds is 40 feet. It's a little bit more than 40 feet to a load of 200 pounds. You don't weigh 200 pounds. I know. Up to 200 pounds is 40 feet.
Starting point is 00:19:26 It's a little bit more than 40 feet to get there. Gotcha. It's like 60 feet to get there. Oh, wait. So you've got 24 feet of movement. You've got 20 feet of movement, don't you? 20 feet left. Can I jump off now as part of the rest of that so I can maybe take...
Starting point is 00:19:40 Yeah, that's the question. Is it a free action to just get off? If you were able to make it over there... Yep, that's the question. Is it a free action to just get off? If you were able to make it over there. Yep, and I'd land. Let's say I use the rest of my movement to land. To land, yeah, that's fine. Okay, cool. If you want to just drop it like you would a weapon, that's fine.
Starting point is 00:19:55 If you try to store it, then that's going to cost you. So that did cost a double move, so Baron's on the other side. And what does he see on that side? Does he see anything more? Yeah, so what you see over there, you're actually going to see a lot of stuff here. You see that the wall is sort of unfinished, leading to some sort of room, and there's a giant dark tapestry covering.
Starting point is 00:20:16 Oh, the dark tapestry. Whatever's on the other side of it. Oh, my God. I get to see the tapestries. We've all seen the tapestries. Also, looking down, you see the chasm just extends to the east, where you're on the southeastern portion of the bridge. You see that chasm 30 feet below just keeps extending.
Starting point is 00:20:34 You might even be able to see longer than that with your 60 feet, right? Yeah. You can see it just keeps going. Wow, huge. Yeah. So, and Baron is a free knowledge check. Does he need to do a knowledge check to know, like, what their monster type is, what their subtype is? I like to live in a world where whenever someone finds the information, they yell it out to their partner.
Starting point is 00:20:55 I just literally did. Yeah. So, I know it's undead. Yeah, he did. Perfect. So, that's the end of Baron's turn. He did it in character, too. I did.
Starting point is 00:21:04 And I want... I think you were looking at the broom's movement speed at the time. No, he said that a holy weapon will get through. I don't necessarily know that it's undead from that act. No, I did. I want recognition for my doing all that shit in character. I want an Oscar. I want an undeserved Tony.
Starting point is 00:21:22 I want every award. Undeserved Tonys. They give those out like hotcakes. I would protest that Tony as well. every award. Undeserved Tonys. They give those out like hotcakes. I would protest that Tony as well. Please mail us your undeserved Tonys. Show me your golden globes. Show me your golden... It's my turn.
Starting point is 00:21:35 All right. This guy in the back who is on that now difficult terrain. And don't you forget it. And I won't forget it. Talk to me about a cone, a 20-foot cone from here. You're really good at cones.
Starting point is 00:21:54 Where are you shooting it at? I'm trying to get Dalgrith, Pembroke, and Feyraza all in the cone. I don't know if I have the... Pembroke is 20 feet away. Feyraza's 35. Other way around. Pembroke is 20 feet away Feyraza is 35 Other way around Pembroke's 35
Starting point is 00:22:08 Excuse me Yeah Pembroke's out of range And Yeah I don't know But can you get both Feyraza and Nogreff Is the question Yeah I think so
Starting point is 00:22:17 Yep As long as they're 20 feet away And it's facing Yeah I can't get Pembroke is just out of the reach Although Let's see How far do I gotta move Oh I Yeah I can just take a Five foot Yeah, I can't get... Pembroke is just out of the reach, although, let's see, how far do I got to move?
Starting point is 00:22:25 Oh, yeah, I can just take a five-foot step. No, you can't. You're in difficult terrain. That's right, I can't take a five-foot step. Oh, yes! Well, you can just move five feet. I have to take a move, actually. Yeah, but the thing is,
Starting point is 00:22:35 you're sharing your space with your ally there. Oh, I am? I am. Because they're large creatures. All right, so I can only affect Dalgrath and... Pembroke is like just outside. Oh, wait, Baron is over there now, right? Yep.
Starting point is 00:22:47 Yeah. Oh, that's going to be a lot better. 20 and... Oh, dear. So this is what happens. This thing just opens up its gross, crusty, dry mouth and just like... This noxious breath comes out,
Starting point is 00:23:10 and I need Feyraza and Baron to roll a fortitude save. All right. All right. I'm assuming this is not a Fey or plant-targeted effect. It is not, surprisingly. Every time. Spell or spell-like ability?
Starting point is 00:23:22 Supernatural. 27 from Baron. Baron is okay. I get the feeling by Matthew's face. Not okay. 12. Oh, no. Wait, wait, wait.
Starting point is 00:23:34 Wait, wait, wait. 20, 12. What was the final result of that cloak of resistance? Four bear's cloak of resistance? Plus four. Baron's wearing it, right? Yeah. Fucking dick.
Starting point is 00:23:43 Sorry. 12. 12, eh? Something tells me 16 would not be either but so this like this way why do I have a minus 2 it should be 14 but that doesn't matter okay well an ashen like noxious mist comes out of its mouth and you are now permanently blind. Oh, no! And flying over a chasm. Oh, no! The other one will do a full attack on Dalgrith. Now, talk to me about attacking you while you're on me.
Starting point is 00:24:17 Do I take a penalty to that? Yeah, you take a pretty serious penalty. You take a minus six. Wow! To your attacks. Oh, that's awesome. On top of a plus four with defensive training? Do you have defensive training? Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:24:29 Wow, that's so great. Minus ten to hit this guy. Not the giant subtype, don't forget. Oh, right. Oh, right, right. So, yeah, no defensive training. But I get a minus six to my rolls? Minus six to your rolls. Alright, claw, claw, bite. I'm going to start with the bite. Twenty-three minus six, so no. I'm going to start with the bite. 23 minus 6, so no.
Starting point is 00:24:47 No. All right, here comes the claw. Number one. No. Natural two. He's like dodging out of the way. This thing's like scraping at him, biting at him. Trying to bite over his shoulder, grabbing at him.
Starting point is 00:24:58 Stay still, will you? Oh, come on. Come on. 28, 22 altogether. Miss. Because of haste. Yes. Because of haste.
Starting point is 00:25:09 Oh, how long have I wanted to see the great Deathbringer dodge attacks of a mighty foe while hanging from its bands. Yes. So you climbed up there, and not only did you do serious damage to it, it takes a minus six to all its attacks against you. Gross. It is round two, and it is Dahlgraith's turn. Dahlgraith. This is tough, now that he's up here.
Starting point is 00:25:42 He gets the jump on this guy, but now there's not... He's going to hold on tight. He's actually going to change... It's kind of dangerous, but he's going to change position basically. Okay.
Starting point is 00:26:00 Is this movement... Does any of this stuff provoke attacks of opportunity? No, none of this stuff provokes I don't know how the movement works exactly Basically I just want your Well you know what Yeah I'm just going to do something fun here I'm going to enact another ability
Starting point is 00:26:17 That he has And I'm going to Like Basically go back into the same position That I was in Right so I'm going to basically go back into the same position that I was in. Right? So I'm going to get off of him. Okay. But in so doing, I trigger this magical function of my armor, and I leave an illusion of me on him.
Starting point is 00:26:38 Oh, cool. What? That's great. So he basically thinks that I'm on him, and then he sees me in front of him. This is the coolest character ever. And I'm going to make an attack, and I get the benefits of flanking. Wow. Because he's distracted by the illusion.
Starting point is 00:26:52 You have got to be kidding me. Oh, man. So you get your sneak attack. That's so great. So I get the sneak attack. Who do you analyze? That is not Dalgrith Deathbringer, buddy. He does it all alone.
Starting point is 00:27:07 All right, so he hits, and he does 46 points of damage. 46 points of damage? What kind of dice are you rolling? 96 plus 4. Wow. 46 points of damage that all cuts through with Deon. Yeah, 46 points of damage. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:27:30 That's pretty good. I'm going to kill you. Okay, it is Blind Feyraza's turn. You are not out of the woods just yet, team. Feyraza is going to fly in the direction she thinks Baron is in. Okay. From memory. From memory, yeah, okay. And in doing so, we'll call out to Baron and say,
Starting point is 00:27:51 Baron, tell me where you are. Spirin lets out several dolphin echolocation clicks. Right. Alright, so yeah, I mean, you can figure out his location. She just wants to know where the land is, so she can land and not be...
Starting point is 00:28:08 Barry, you should fuck with her and be like, you're fine, you're fine. You should go right into the castle. Splat. Three points of damage. And then from there, there's not a lot she can do when she's blind. So she will...
Starting point is 00:28:24 Yeah, not much I can do there So she is going to just That will be her action She'll fly over and land Remember last time there was a chasm And a character permanently blind Yeah I do remember that time This one's only 30 feet though
Starting point is 00:28:36 It's not too bad And you were flying I was for a little while Yep It is Pembroke's turn Pembroke The erstwhile potent, is going to fly 20 feet towards the middle of the bridge. Okay.
Starting point is 00:28:52 And he's going to cast Chain Lightning. Oh. Oh, dear me. One on these two. Actually, can I un-wild shape? Yeah, it's free. Standard. Standard.
Starting point is 00:29:02 So I move action. Standard, yeah. Un-wlock shape. And that will be a DC 22 reflex save for both of them. Oh, dear. I don't like it. Okay. The first one that Dalgrath is going after, natural 20. Oh.
Starting point is 00:29:21 I always rolled natural 20s against your spells. Yeah. It's pretty annoying. This one, I'm not going to say guaranteed fail, but maybe, oh, 23. Okay, they both make it. They both make it. So they both take 21 points of electricity damage. Yikes.
Starting point is 00:29:40 All right, so the one that's on that difficult terrain there gets hit for the first time. Thanks to Pembroke's knowledge, he didn't affect them with cold or fire. And as far as you know, all that electricity went through. The one next to Talgrith does not look good. Baron, you are up and not blind. As a swift action, Baron will imbue his weapon with bane against these horrible, terrible undead creatures. Of course. And we'll do a full round attack action.
Starting point is 00:30:09 Four attacks. First attack is a hit. Yeah. But of course. But of course. 15 points of damage. 15 points of damage. Okay.
Starting point is 00:30:23 And this is just a regular old magic. I'm sorry. 20 points of damage. 15 points of damage. Okay. And this is just a regular old magic. I'm sorry. 20 points of damage. Yeah, just regular. I mean, it's magic. I have an ability that allows me to it's called, you're probably very familiar with it, Judgment of Sacred Smiting. But my attacks won't count as good against DR until 6th level
Starting point is 00:30:41 as a... And you're 5th level? Yeah, 5th level. Oh, so close. Real bummer, it's a real bummer. So I'm sorry, what was the total HP? 20 points. 20 points, okay. Second attack is gonna be... Oh... It is a misfire. Oh no!
Starting point is 00:30:58 Baron! Great, I gotta ask. You've been doing a lot of misfires lately. I know. Is it a natural 1? No, it's a 3. 3, okay. And what is your misfire range right now?fires lately. I know. Is everything okay at home? Is it a natural one? No, it's a three. Three, okay. And what is your misfire range right now? One to three right now. One to three? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:08 Is everything okay at home? Yeah, everything. Oh, and the thing I always forget, because I misfire so misfrequently, is that I now misfire in a one to seven with a gun in a misfired state. So I'm going to stop my actions. Wow. Shit. Yep.
Starting point is 00:31:24 Pickle dip. Yeah, so that's Baron my actions. Wow. Shit. Yep. Pickle dip. Yeah, so that's Baron's turn. Wow. He's really being outshined by Dog's Breath over there. The old Dog's Breath. There's a new dwarf in town. There is. If it's any consolation, Troy will probably want to kill him just as much as you.
Starting point is 00:31:39 Yep. I don't care for dwarves. All right. It's my turn. It's kind of rude. Misguided. I am going to... Dwarves, by the way.
Starting point is 00:31:52 Dwarves, yes. Sorry. My guy takes a five-foot step to the edge of the bridge. No. Facing Dalgrith Deathbringer. No. And does a little thing called an awesome blow. Oh, I wish I was four bears now.
Starting point is 00:32:08 Knock Dalgrath into the chasm. Oh, boy. Oh, no. So this is going to be a, let me just make sure, it's a combat maneuver. So if I succeed, you're going to take damage, and then you'll be knocked 10 feet flying in a direction of my choice. Let me explain something about the illusion. So it is still there. It could not be
Starting point is 00:32:34 if you wanted it to not be because of the lightning. It's possible. If anything hits it, it goes away. Did it hit it or did it hit? Well, it was on him essentially. So you could rule it however you want. But it has a really low AC. Its AC is 13 and if it hits it, it was on him, essentially. I see. So you could rule it however you want. But it has a really low AC. Its AC is 13. And if it hits it, it vanishes immediately.
Starting point is 00:32:50 I see. So that's how that works. I'm fine with it still being there. Okay. It's still going to attack you. Okay. As it felt that 46 points of damage or whatever. Come right from the front.
Starting point is 00:33:00 Yeah. All right. That is going to be against your CMD. Yeah. A 32. Miss. Get the fuck out of here. You've got to be kidding me.
Starting point is 00:33:16 He's like, boom, dodges out of the way. Not today, I'm sorry. God, I don't get any bonuses for that or anything. The myth, the legend, seeing him in action, it's such a pleasure. Matthew's listening to this. I'm sitting between them. I feel blessed this day.
Starting point is 00:33:33 That is simply amazing. Simply... I have your rookie card. If you could sign it later, back at camp, it would make me as happy as a schoolboy. I love it. I was so excited for that move.
Starting point is 00:33:47 All right. Shit on a shingle here. What do I want to do? I'm on difficult terrain. So to move out of it, it's going to be 10, and then 15, 20, 25, 30 gets me to there. And by there, I mean on the other side of the bridge within striking distance of both Baron and Feyraza.
Starting point is 00:34:13 Feyraza's blind. Baron just fired at him. I'm going to do a claw attack against Baron. Okay. I'm going to do a claw attack against Baron. Okay. Oh. No, I'm doing it against Feyraza. And it is a 25 to hit.
Starting point is 00:34:36 That hits. Okay. Oh, boy. Would that have hit Baron? No. That's why I changed my mind at the last minute. Well, she's also blind. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:44 Oh, very low damage. Ten points of damage. However. However? I need you to roll a Fortitude save. Something in this claw, you feel a moistness. Oh, no. In its claw, and you're fine.
Starting point is 00:34:58 You feel a moistness. That moistness. It feels kind of nice. Nothing wrong with moistness. You just shake it right off. Still a little weird, but that's better. That was moist. And now, we go into round three.
Starting point is 00:35:08 Dun-dun. Dalgrath, you felt this. How close was I? He's got a 34. Dad, that fucker. So close. So close. What did you roll on the die?
Starting point is 00:35:17 Was it high on the die, or was it middling? I actually don't know. What did I say? I rolled a 32. 32. It was not bad. I rolled a 12. Okay, so yeah, you could hit him. Yeah. I definitely could hit him, but I have to roll say? I rolled a 32. 32. It was not bad. I rolled a 12. Okay.
Starting point is 00:35:25 So, yeah, you could hit him. Yeah. I definitely could hit him, but I have to roll high to do it. Yeah. Okay. It is your turn. All right. So I'm going to say he's still flanking because he didn't get rid of the illusion.
Starting point is 00:35:36 That's true. He's distracted, thinks there might be two, and so he's going to now he'll attack three times. Yeah. Because he's on solid ground and he will start stabbing away. So first attack is a miss. 19.
Starting point is 00:35:51 For some reason I thought you were going to say misfire. That's not how that works. First attack 19 to hit. Dwarf. You're used to dwarves misfiring when they miss. Safe to assume that misses. What was the second one? The first one was 19. Yeah, 19 misses. Second attack is a 27. That is a hit.
Starting point is 00:36:06 Yes. 38 points of damage. Oh, yeah. 38 points of damage. And then third attack, 24. 24. 26. Sorry.
Starting point is 00:36:17 26. Flanking. It's a hit, but you killed him on the 38th. Oh! There we go. Beautiful. Yes. Dolby, you have brought death to the undead, like in times of old.
Starting point is 00:36:30 Oh, what a glorious day this is to be in your company. There's still one left, my friend. Yes! We shall destroy it together, my friend, my new... Now, Feyre... Close. Confidant. Confidant.
Starting point is 00:36:44 Is Feyre a bird? Are you on wild shape? On wild shape. So can I do a perception check just to see if I can tell that she's blind? Real quick. She shared that with the group. 18. She was like, I'm fucking blind!
Starting point is 00:36:57 When she called out to Faraz to say, guide me to solid ground. Well, that's because I'm your emotional safe space, so you needed to be next to me. It wasn't about... I'm blind. All right, well, that was his second attack anyway, so he can't move or anything. Feyraza, it's your turn. You know that this thing is within range of you. That's all you know.
Starting point is 00:37:20 Indeed I do. Yes. So I'm going to cast a spell. Okay. It is called Ice Spears. Oh, okay. Oh I do. Yes. So I'm going to cast a spell. Okay. It is called Ice Spears. Oh. Okay. Oh, classic. And I'm going to put it on the two spears, one on each of the squares in front of me. Okay. Now this
Starting point is 00:37:32 is my question. Do you need line of sight for that spell? Yeah, I'm not casting it. There's no target. You're just casting it on the ground in front of you, assuming that it's there. Yeah. I like it. I had another spell that I was going to do Air Geyser, which would have been better because no cold damage.
Starting point is 00:37:47 But I figured like, but you need a target for air geyser. You need a target. So for this one, now I'm going to have you roll a D4 twice. Hold on a second. Let's do the, you're casting defensively? Yeah, I would cast defensively. All right, so roll that first. Your AC is so low, you would definitely take a hit, I think.
Starting point is 00:38:07 Pass, easily. Okay, so now I'm going to have you roll a d4. As long as you roll a one and a two... Yeah, you've got to roll a one or a two on each roll to have both spikes hit him. You know what I mean? Like, if you roll a one or a two on each... How am I trying to say this?
Starting point is 00:38:26 You're just trying... Because I'm blind, I don't know which squares... You don't know which squares. It could be one just outside of where he is. Yeah, he's taking up four squares. Oh, I got you. For every one or two you roll,
Starting point is 00:38:35 a spike hits him. That's what I'm trying to say. Okay. Or do we want to just say one spike hits him instead of two? Or are you saying there's a chance that no spikes hit him? There's a 50% chance.
Starting point is 00:38:43 Yeah, this guy's got reach. You kind of know where it came from, but... I was just assuming between being hit by it and hearing it, and I would know it's in the square in front of me. One of the squares in front of me. Right, right. But because of the reach, it grows up a little bit. There are
Starting point is 00:38:57 squares in front of you that he's not... Could I do a perception check to know that he is not ten feet away from me? Uh, sure. With my hearing? Yeah, yeah. And then that would allow me to know that, okay, I can cast on feet away from me uh sure with my like hearing yeah yeah and then that would allow me to know that okay i can cast on this square right in front yes and i'll guarantee you the one okay i natty 17 so that was so yeah you can you can definitely hit with one or you can roll to see if you hit i'll just take one i'll just take one i like it okay i like it your choice so what am i gonna do dc 17 reflexive. Natural 1. Oh, yeah, baby!
Starting point is 00:39:27 Natural 1. Okay, so you take 4d6 points of damage. 4d6 points of cold damage? Every single time you say that, I hear 46. No, 2d6. 2d6 for piercing, 2d6 is cold. So I'll do piercing first. 8 points of piercing okay and seven points
Starting point is 00:39:48 of cold all right so all the piercing gets through since this is magical right right yeah um and uh now i make a combat maneuver check against you to see if this is a magical thing right i don't i don't think it all gets it's not energy it's just it's just piercing it's a physical thing hitting them so i don't think it gets through yeah it's it's piercing damage it's not magic damage i guess like the spear itself is magical so i don't know yeah i think that it does not that's my guess but i could be interesting all right um well i'll tell you right now it's usually magical energy gets through fire acid electricity cold. Yeah, what did you tell me the characteristics were? What was it? DR5 against good.
Starting point is 00:40:29 DR5, but only good gets through. Yeah, no, that would be blocked. They would subtract five from what he said from the peers. So, and none of the cold got through. Right, okay, and now I get a CMD check against you to see if they trip. This is the real money shot here to see if it does the damage. Come on.
Starting point is 00:40:50 So I use my wisdom bonus, which is still... I hate going proud. 14. Okay. Damn it. No. I hate going proud. I hate going proud. And then Paraza will... Yeah, I risked it to do that as prone. And then Paraza will... Yeah, I risked it to do that spell.
Starting point is 00:41:07 Okay, Paraza is just going to move away and incur. Move away and incur. Wow. That's still smart because then I can't do the full attack. Yeah, I hear. Does he want to save it for Bear Bears? Full attack action! Got lit up by that gun before it misfired.
Starting point is 00:41:30 I like it. But he's got a quick clear. He doesn't know it misfired. Put the GM to a decision. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to take the attack on Feyraza. You're a big dumb undead guy. 21 to hit.
Starting point is 00:41:43 Yes. The ass. Oh, all right. This one's a little bit juicier. 18 points of damage. Roll another fortitude save. 21. 21 DC 21.
Starting point is 00:41:56 You son of a bitch. This is such a good disease, too. Such a good disease. But you're all right. One of these creatures remains, and it is round four, Dalgray's turn. Joe just reminded me that I have Stoneskin on, so all that damage. Oh, there you go. Stoneskin.
Starting point is 00:42:15 Not all of it, but some got through. No, the original stuff. The Stoneskin hit points, right? No, no, no. Stoneskin is DR10. Oh, okay. And then each time you take those 10, it, like, just subtracts from the total. Anything over 10 gets through.
Starting point is 00:42:28 The first one, what was, the first time you hit me for 8 points of damage, or no, 10 points of damage, right? 10 points of damage, yeah. So I get those 10 back, too? Yeah. I'm sorry, it's Baron's turn. That's right. Wait, no, that was Feyraz's turn.
Starting point is 00:42:40 It's Pembroke's turn. Okay. And then Baron. And then Maverick. Right, right. All right. It's Pembroke's turn. Okay.
Starting point is 00:42:42 And then Barry. And then me. Right, right. Pembroke is going to fly over the bridge. Okay. And aiming down, he's going to call upon the arcane powers of Storm and Mystery and fire a lightning bolt. Ooh, Storm and Mystery. Yes. Okay. and fire lightning bolts. Ooh, storm emissary. Yes. Ooh, okay.
Starting point is 00:43:05 And that is going to be a DC 19 reflex save. Failed. Okay. Huge. Definite fail. I can also reveal a little more of the chasm, too, while you are rolling damage. Okay.
Starting point is 00:43:24 Zap. Give it to me straight. Storm out of his staff. 44 points of electricity damage. Oh, boy. This guy is in rough shape. And you see Pembroke. Oh, sorry. I was going to say
Starting point is 00:43:40 as you swung around to the other side of the bridge because you have dark vision now because of those goggles, right? I do. Yeah, so you swung around to the other side of the bridge, because you have darkvision now because of those goggles, right? I do, yes. Yeah, so you see that the chasm extends even farther north and continues on past the limits of your darkvision. Oh, I see. Okay. And then using the metamagic rod,
Starting point is 00:43:57 I'm going to fire off, as a swift action, a magic missile. Go for it. For another 13 points of damage. Okay. Creature. And it is now Baron's turn. Baron will quick clear his
Starting point is 00:44:13 gun as a move action. Spend a great point. Spend another great point to get up close and deadly with this guy. Roll a lot of nasty looking dice. 22 against touch AC. Yeah, that'll hit. Okay. We're talking about 30 points of damage. 30 points of damage. Still up! Alright.
Starting point is 00:44:30 Still up! Still up! You said he's looking pretty rough when he had 74 hit points. Uh, oh yeah. Sometimes I just like to dramatize things. That's Baron's turn? He's looking incredibly healthy.
Starting point is 00:44:46 He's just, he's perfectly fine. All right, this thing, it cannot do its blinding breath again this round. Oh,
Starting point is 00:44:57 the old breath weapon countdown. So I am going to do a full attack on Baron, and I'm assuming all are going to miss, but let's try, and I'm assuming all are going to miss. But let's try.
Starting point is 00:45:08 Here we go. First, the bite. The bite is a 25. Miss. Yeah. Remember, no giant bonuses. Yep. Grant.
Starting point is 00:45:16 Don't worry. Here comes the first claw, 26. Miss. Yeah. And the final claw. Okay, this might have hit. 31. 31 is a hit. Okay, this might have hit. 31. 31 is a hit.
Starting point is 00:45:28 Oh, wow. All right. First of all, you're going to take just a little bit of damage. Not too much damage. 12 points of damage. Two points of damage. And shut up. You can roll a fortitude save.
Starting point is 00:45:39 Oh, come on, bear. Bear, bear, bear. 30. Damn it. Yes! I wanted to infect you. And that is the end of its turn. It is a new round.
Starting point is 00:45:50 We'll call it round five. And it is Dalgrath's turn. Dalgrath is going to... Dalgrath's turn. He's just going to drop his sword, walk up slowly about 15 feet, draw the crossbow off of his back. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:46:07 And load it. Slide in a bolt. Walks up, draws the crossbow, slides in a bolt. It is now Faraz's turn. Faraz the Blind. Faraz is going to do... So if I wanted to cast a spell on a target, was it just 50% mischance?
Starting point is 00:46:24 I think it's... I mean, that's what it is if you're just casting into a square. But I mean, if you can't even see the square... Yeah, I think most of these spells you need line of sight for, yeah. I mean, I have line of sight. I just don't have sight. Right. You have line of.
Starting point is 00:46:40 I have line of. You have line of. You definitely have line of. Line of effect. Right. But you don't have line of sight. Matthew knows where the creature is. Well, I assume, my assumption was that he didn't move.
Starting point is 00:46:49 So I was going to cast in the same place, judging from the distance I moved. You know what I'm saying? Right, right. But if you say I can't do it, that's fine. Yeah. I don't know. That's one of those things. We were talking last week or the week before about a rule will come up like that.
Starting point is 00:47:03 And I'm like, I'm just not 100% sure. So I just make a call. Yeah, we'll do a 50% mischance. Why not? 50% mischance? Yeah. Okay, great. You know where he is, generally.
Starting point is 00:47:12 You're taking a chance. It's like going to the bathroom in the middle of the night. Okay, so I'll roll the D. You want to turn the light on and wake up your wife? Exactly. She sleeps in the tub. I told you never to reveal our secrets I'm sorry I'm very sorry I know I had to
Starting point is 00:47:27 There's no way we could ever take this out of the episode now I'm very sorry I rolled a 90 A 90 alright so that's That's a miss It's the lower end that you need Yeah too bad He said he didn't know what Troy was going to say
Starting point is 00:47:44 He didn't know if he was going to say you need 50 or more. You have to make him commit before you roll the dice. That is fair. I didn't make him commit before. I assumed the 90 was better. Actually, in my head, 1 to 22 was okay. And then 48 to 54 was good. I just pick a random 50.
Starting point is 00:47:59 A random 50. That's fair. That's totally fair. That's why you've got to ask before you roll. The ultimate GM decision. My 50% mischance is 50 numbers I decide on. Nine is fine. A ten, no good.
Starting point is 00:48:11 We have a chart in the studio and Troy just looks at it and knows which one. That would actually be really fun. You have to roll it and consult the chart every time. Put it in this 50-digit field that I randomly decide before every roll. That's great. We should get a TV just for that, just so you can just, like, sit there and, like, pick your hundreds. It'd be like playing Keno.
Starting point is 00:48:32 It'd be like playing Keno, yeah. That'll work, Feyreiser. I cast Air Geyser. Okay. So roll Reflex Save. Alright, I roll the natural two. All right. There you go.
Starting point is 00:48:48 That's terrific, because first you're going to take 2d6 points of bludgeoning damage, which I imagine won't go through. Eight. Eight does not go through. Okay, you failed your save, though, so you get flung upwards towards the ceiling. And let's see, how far do you go? I should say some of that bludgeoning went through. Three points. So how high is the ceiling?
Starting point is 00:49:08 25 feet. So you hit, you get flung up what would be 50 feet, but you hit the ceiling, so you take another 2d6 damage from fall, as if you were falling up that 20 feet. Okay, and then another 2d6 falling down. Yep. All right, so roll them separately. So four hitting the ceiling. Nothing there. Well, that's not,
Starting point is 00:49:24 you have DR against regular old damage? Yeah. And then... That's exactly what it is. DR. I mean, regular old, like, I walk into a wall and that hurt. Right. DR protects from that.
Starting point is 00:49:32 Yeah. I should get DR. You should get some DR. You have it now. By the way, you have it right now. It's really, really expensive. No, I meant me, Matthew. Oh, as a person.
Starting point is 00:49:40 Yeah, I would just stub my toe all the time. I stub so many toes. Seven points of fall. And so it takes two points of falling. And you're prone. And it had one hit point left. Oh! Yeah!
Starting point is 00:49:52 Crumbles. Old faithful. As it hits the ground. Old faithful. Is it dead? Is it dead? Is it dead? That might be the most cartoonish death we've had so far on the podcast.
Starting point is 00:50:05 Boom, boom. That was a cartoonish combat in general It was, it was wild I know Dahlgreth looks at it for an extra second And when he sees the bones or whatever are not rising again He's just like, save this one Clicks out the bolt Puts it back in his, whatever you carry bolts in Bolt pocket Bolt carrier Bolt holder His old bolt holder Boulder out the bolt puts it back in his uh whatever you carry bolts in bolt pocket bolt bolt uh carrier
Starting point is 00:50:26 your bolt holder's old bolt holder boulder i think it's called a quarrel yeah uh he's gonna walk across the bridge and uh i don't mean to alarm anyone but i am a bit blind yeah he'll walk over he'll be like i've seen it before farazza come. Come on. Come over this way. I can't see anything. Right. I'll come to you. How silly of me. He walks over, goes into his little, on his belt where these little vials were hanging together, all clinking together. He's like, pops one out, pops the top over it, hands it off to you.
Starting point is 00:51:00 He's like, drink that. Drink what? Just put out your hand. Okay. He puts it out your hand. Okay. He puts it in your hand. And Farazza smells it. Just to make sure. And it smells like peach iced tea.
Starting point is 00:51:12 Oh, great. And she drinks it. And urine. A little dash of urine. That's what gives it the bites. It is a potion of remove blindness deafness. Oh, wow. Get out of here.
Starting point is 00:51:22 You're just like, whoa. Well, that is worth a bottle cap yeah i hate to give them out but that is ridiculous i had one i had that one on my purse it's a glamorous bottle it's a gel oh it's a cleric spell yeah yeah fair enough um do i see any more now that i can see i get out of this wall where i this wall that I'm standing against? So you're like right up against a curtain. A curtain? This is a wall that isn't finished yet leading into an as-of-yet unfinished room.
Starting point is 00:51:55 You can tell because you can kind of see the shape around the chasm, but it is a curtain. Yes, a dark tapestry, as I said. yes, a dark tapestry, as I said. The only other thing you see in the room is this chasm, which extends both to the north and to the, we'll say the northwest and to the east. Could I do a knowledge arcana on the tapestry? What's on the tapestry? It's just black.
Starting point is 00:52:18 Oh, it's just black. It's pure black. I don't think that's going to cut it. Pembroke, I don't think I know what this is. It's a 16. First let me say it was an absolute pleasure to watch you in action after hearing all this tale.
Starting point is 00:52:34 Please, it's nothing. I got lucky. Oh, no, no, no need to be humble. Now this right here and he points over to Baron. He's like, that was quite a bit of work. Can I see it? May I look at your weapon? Behold.
Starting point is 00:52:49 You see it with your hands? In Skelton, they call it a magical handbanger. What do you name it? What do you call it? This is Lawbringer. He's turning it around. He turns the points, the front of it, right at his face. No, no, no, please, no.
Starting point is 00:53:03 Lawbringer. Lawbringer. Never been much of a lawful type myself myself but i understand why you would sheriff it fits fits your profile he hands it back what do you call your weapons they're mighty fine well perhaps i'll tell you their name one day but not quite yet because i haven't named them yet What did you What did you You called this one right and this one left One of them is still sitting on the bridge
Starting point is 00:53:31 This one's stabby and this one's pokey Where did you Where did you find it I had to craft this weapon after my previous one You made it yourself Well with the help of Pembroke I did help He imbued it with all its magical properties.
Starting point is 00:53:46 And I watched. And I helped. DeRosa likes to watch. She does. You can make this magic. I can vouch for this. You can make this magic yourself. Certainly.
Starting point is 00:54:00 That's interesting. Costs quite a bit. He's like looking up, calculating, you know, he's like, might need you to make one of those for me. Seems like it could be handy in a tough place. No, it costs all of the party gold. It does. Almost all of the party gold.
Starting point is 00:54:15 Rather pricey and I will say, if you'll permit me, Baron, it does take quite a bit of practiced skill to wield one in the first place. It does take quite a bit of practiced skill to wield one in the first place. So it's not something a layperson can immediately pick up and be lethal with. Pembroke, you surprise me. You would call our friend the great dog breath, et cetera, a layperson? Child breath isn't by no means a layperson, but in terms of the weapon at hand, well. I think you'll find I'm a fast learner.
Starting point is 00:54:47 It's something I could, uh, be interested in, but I do respect what you say. Don't surprise me at all. Any weapon that you never wielded before is always going to have a certain level of, uh, a certain learning curve to it. Exotic! I do respect... Exotic, they say! An exotic weapon? Aye, the weapons of tea and jar. I've had a very hard time
Starting point is 00:55:03 wielding myself. Yes. Yes. They make those blades very sharp. They're deadly, the weapons of tea and jar. I've had a very hard time wielding myself. Yes. Yes. They make those blades very sharp. They're deadly, but they're hard to wield. Hard to wield. What about a scimitar? Have you tried a scimitar?
Starting point is 00:55:17 I have tried a scimitar, yes. Would you like to try this one? I see it. She hands it over. Holds it on like one finger. Bounces it on his finger And you take a permanent Yeah you take a permanent Son of a bitch
Starting point is 00:55:29 We'll see you next week Gotcha It's a well balanced play But it is Leaking a bit of evil Right through it I can feel it So I'm not gonna hold it
Starting point is 00:55:38 Too long She puts it back on her back Please take it back Gotcha Almost got you No but yeah He is rather rather impressed by the weapon, and then much more impressed that you made it. Like, he assumed it was some ancient artifact you found in some deep dungeon somewhere
Starting point is 00:55:53 that you co-opted for yourself. Takes a little bit of grit and determination, but with this gunsmithing kit, I can make any type of mundane firearm. Maybe if you provide the materials, I could make you, well, a plaything. I like it. You know, don't worry about gold, Farazza. Gold can be easy to come by. You meet the right people, you do the right jobs.
Starting point is 00:56:14 Gold can come flowing like water. All right. Tell me, what is it that motivates you, if not for gold? Is it glory? Is it having your name echo around more of the uh the corners of galarian oh of course not glory just uh it's a side effect can't be helped can't be helped when it comes to monster hunting it's it's all about helping the people there's only so
Starting point is 00:56:39 many there's only so many folks out there that are willing to go into the deep, dark places of the world and take on the giant creatures that threaten our everyday life. And, well, from a young age, I was brought up by someone that told me that's what you had to do with your life. Because if you don't do it, no one else will. Is it true, then, that you are motivated by a desire to protect the free peoples of the world? Of course, of course. It is what got me started. But, as I said, there are peoples of the world. Of course, of course. It is what got me started, but as I said, there are plenty of fringe benefits. Of course, but it does.
Starting point is 00:57:11 To the lifestyle. I will say this news gladdens my heart. Someone who's followed your exploits, as I've said for many years. I imagine you've heard that, you know what I mean? You're like, I don't know if I buy it. He's saved a little. He's just like, I always said, they said he has a lot lot of team loyalty that's why he re-signed with the timber
Starting point is 00:57:28 wolves yeah i didn't know it's like no they could just offer max contract didn't care it was just about the money it's like no he really really thought they could bring them a championship all right there's plenty of jobs i've done for almost no gold at all and those were for the people that couldn't afford it but if they can can afford it, you better be sure I'm going to get it. That's all I'll say about that. Of course. Understandable, but the tales of your largesse and morality
Starting point is 00:57:53 have not been exaggerated. I am very, very happy to hear it. Thank you, Pembroke. Now, could you tell me anything about this black tapestry here? It seems like something from the great beyond, and I'd like to be able to identify it myself, but I seem to be coming up short. It does seem to be something of a mystery, doesn't it?
Starting point is 00:58:12 And he moves up and detects magic, first of all. You don't detect any magic on the tapestry itself. It just looks like it's partitioning where you're standing from the room beyond well in that case um i am just going to do a perception check on it oh 17 uh 90 17 and that would be a 28 28. Just like listening or looking at the tapestry? Like rubbing it between
Starting point is 00:58:49 my fingers like fine silk. You're rubbing it and it just seems very mundane. Like it's just another weird part of this construction that's going on here. It's strange. I think the question is what lies beyond. Burn it down.
Starting point is 00:59:08 Allow me to help with that question. And Baron will detect alignments through the tapestry, looking for evil first, because that seems the most likely, and then moving down. Okay. 60-foot corn. You do detect evil. Coming from beyond the tapestry?
Starting point is 00:59:24 Beyond the tapestry, yes from beyond the tapestry? Beyond the tapestry, yes. Beyond the tapestry. Ben, I ask you not to go any further for the moment. I'll lift my sword back there on the bridge. Sorry. One moment. And he goes back to the bridge, gets his sword, resheathes the crossbow. Be careful with the difficult terrain midway through the bridge.
Starting point is 00:59:40 So quit, Hop. Don't worry about it. Jumps over. It grabs the sword, sheathes it, comes back before anything is pushed aside. As Deathbringer returns, I should be able to know if there are a number of evil auras. Do I sense one? You detect one evil aura. Okay.
Starting point is 00:59:59 Dalgrith is going to, hearing that, be kind of quieter. Quiet down and get a little bit more serious. How far away do you see it? I haven't been told yet by Torag, the most powerful being in my life. Please, Torag, tell me. About 40 feet to the north, just
Starting point is 01:00:18 beyond the edge of the curtain. He looks back at all of you. He's like, we going in? We moving forward here? Yes. I'm in. If you'll wait. And you should, like, you can tell me hit dice if you want,
Starting point is 01:00:35 but you could also just tell me, like, it's really powerful or it's not that powerful or whatever. Doesn't seem that powerful. All right. I'm going to go. Burn the curtain down? And he walks up to the curtain. All right. I'm going to go. Burn the curtain down? And he walks up to the curtain.
Starting point is 01:00:52 I'm assuming it's a curtain that can just be brushed aside or pulled up, and you can look under it. Is it that kind of curtain? Yeah. Are you all up there? Yeah, I'll walk right up to it there. Yeah, I will too. And I'll do a stealth check.
Starting point is 01:01:04 Okay. To try to peek under. Lift it'll do a stealth check. Okay. To try to peek under. Lift it quietly, see if I can get anything. 26. Please, that won't be necessary. Stops in his tracks. No. All of you, enter.
Starting point is 01:01:22 Let us parley. Oh my God. Shit. He'll pull up the curtain and walk. I mean, what does he see when he looks through the curtain? Oh, my goodness. You see, a rather strange room. An ornate stone shrine is built directly into the stone of this room's north wall, forming a narrow chancel upon which rests an obsidian altar. Placed near the corners of the room are three columns carved in the likeness of a nude giantess who is skeletal from the waist down and cradles a scythe in her hands.
Starting point is 01:02:04 skeletal from the waist down and cradles a scythe in her hands. Colored tiles on the floor form a mosaic of a gigantic fly with a death's head symbol on its back. I hate this! Fucking her. And of course, to the southwest where you are standing, the room has completely crumbled away to expose an immense chasm. an immense chasm. You see two female giants. A cyclops and a giant that looks eerily similar to the
Starting point is 01:02:30 one that killed Lork. Both women. There's also a body laying on one of these smaller altars to the west where Baron sensed an evil aura, just a
Starting point is 01:02:46 body laying there, a giant-sized body. The Cyclops, who, this is the pawn here. It's beautiful. Female Cyclops. Wow. Wow.
Starting point is 01:03:00 That art is amazing. Continue speaking. Please be not afraid. We've been expecting you. The gunslinger, the one they call Ash Peak. The giant slayer rushing towards his end. Pembroke, is it? Yes. And one who walks across time, Ferazal, said, I knew this day
Starting point is 01:03:33 would come. My name is Onin Fixia. This is my associate, Zoyabeta. Urathash spoke highly of you when he sent us the blood-raging half-orc. Oh. Immediately flashes in your brain, Barum, remind you of that letter you found on Urathash signed X and O. Oh. Holy shit. I even warned Debelos that you would be the ones to unite her with Death's Embrace. But she did not believe me. The daughter of Urgothoa was blind to the truth.
Starting point is 01:04:18 All of you have come so far, seeking things. so far, seeking things. An old man looking for one final triumphant journey to end his life, as if a deathbed contrition would erase the man he's been his whole life. A woman who's walked the ends of the earth and through time itself to find a chosen one yet with every step she takes she moves further from her quarry a monster hunting fool unaware of the monster he has become unaware that he himself will be his final kill
Starting point is 01:04:59 and lastly another dwarf seeking only to know who he really is. A pity that you were so close to finding out. And we'll see you next week. Oh no!
Starting point is 01:05:19 I'm so close to finding it out! You were. I was. And now you're done. You were. Oh damn it. now you'll die. You were. Oh, damn it. Only one evil presence. I know.
Starting point is 01:05:28 I don't understand it. It's a little long now. The Glass Cannon Podcast is a Glass Cannon Network production and is an officially licensed partner of Paizo Incorporated. Giant Slayer is copyright 2015. Giant Slayer and the Pathfinder Adventure Path are trademarks of Paizo. All Pathfinder images are property of Paizo and are used with permission. Outro Music

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