The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 195 - Take My Knife, Please!

Episode Date: February 19, 2019

With a snowstorm clouding their vision and deflecting their projectiles, the party continues to contend with the wailing incorporeal women. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast. Back to the grave, spirit! As the snow rages on. Beren just has like, his beard is just like a white beard. He looks like a weird Santa Claus. The heroes continue to hold their own. Just remember back to when you fought the wailing banshees during the Tempest of Connemere. How you bested them. Ah, the bards sang songs in the taverns for months. Even as things get real around the table.

I think, like, there are people who really like me, and then there are people who just mostly, like, tolerate me, but there's no middle ground, so maybe that's why. You know, like... Matthew, I think we should dig into this a little bit. Because you're tapping into some big part of my psyche here. We should definitely pop-psychologize you. I'm sure it would take not quite the time at all.

That's very rude. But when the spirits score a key blow. If Pembroke is not of his own mind. We can't tell. We are in very, very, very bad shape. The party must scramble to strike back. Pembroke, I don't know that I can do it with a simple crossbow. I need your help.

Please, put their spirits to rest. I'm doing all I can. The adventure continues. Dalgrith, take the dagger. And hold on. Now. It's the week of the show, y'all. It's the week of the show. Matthew here, and yes, in just a few short days we will be in dallas

texas home of so many things home of grant burger home of so many things i will now google oh the dallas arboretum and botanical gardens that looks nice and um some school book depository that's probably not notable at all. And oh yes, Glass Cannon Live. There are actually tickets still available, so do yourself a service and book one of them and join us as we jump into the Imagination Copter. Or take off in the Imagination Copter. I'm not actually sure how this metaphor works.

But seriously, we'd love to see you and it should be a real fun show. So grab those tickets while you still can. Also, I don't know if anyone's seen, but you might notice that we have a brand new t-shirt available. One that features a green sing scorpion that's very near to my heart. And I'm told that we've just restocked the merch store with coin and iron tusk t-shirts and maybe even a few maple syrup t-shirts as well so check out the merch store glasscanonpodcast.com so that when you come to dallas everyone will know why you're there or at least the other gcp listeners will know why you're there right yes okay enough out of me please enjoy episode 195 let me give you the listeners a little glimpse behind the curtain oh i'm a listener i'm excited well skin come on back here oh thank you don't be shy put that away no no

keep your pants on no reason to take those off clip clop clop, clip, clop, clip Oh, wow, look at all this back here Look at this Wow, velvet This is where I keep my trophies Mmm, I like it I like what you've done here So many trophies I like the gold leaf

This is great Isn't that nice? Oh, man It costs a little extra, but How do you fit all this back here? This is amazing I just feel like I'm worth it Not arguing

I've never heard a more revealing statement well guess who isn't allowed behind the curtain that's why you never get to come back here matthew i'm content to live with the mystery we are it is it is 10 minutes of 10 on a on a night of the week, I'll say. We just had a rousing board meeting. Because we're not just a bunch of nerds who sit here and play role-playing games. We are a competitive business. Who are we competing with?

I don't know if I'd say competitive. We're competitive against each other. Right, we're competitive. And that's why we're not As successful as we should be We're like the NBA The board meeting opened with Who could make the worst pun on board That's true It was a competition

To see who could do it first Yeah really It was really only one Yeah And you know we drank wine I'm still drinking wine I know This is lovely

It's classy Except for O'Brien over here Who's crushing Bud Light Pounders No Well yes But that is just my side hustle to my good buddy Jeff Parks, Avery. Avery, right? Yes, Avery Brinkham.

14.5% bourbon barrel aged ale, which... It's pretty dark. Yeah, it's very dark. It pours like motor oil. I started drinking it earlier. Is that an OW20? That's an OW20. I opened this at the start of the board meeting two hours ago. I started drinking it earlier. Is that an OW20? That's an OW20. I opened this at the start of the board meeting two hours ago.

It's barely halfway done, and I feel very sick. Yeah. And you've drank two giant Bud Lights while nursing. Well, I was washing it down. They're chasers. Just a couple side cards for the main event. 14.5%. Oh, man.

Well, it had to get drank sometime. It's been in there for a long time. Yeah, why not do it during a really important ep? Hey, man, it's Giant Slayer. This is where we have some fun. For the character whose rules said you're still learning. I just want to crush a 14.5. Oh, I have this 12th level archetype down like the back of my hand.

Well, the more sophisticated among us are drinking a fine red wine. Even Matthew took a sip from a Dixie cup. He did. It's really got a nice color to it. It's very translucent. Like, it's got a good, like, you can see a lot of dark pinots that kind of don't respect the craft, have too many tannins and source minerals in it. But this is very finely made. You're totally right.

I just threw up in my mouth. This is just like an episode of Sex and the city except without any sex and i don't believe they ever would set foot in queens they absolutely uh maybe there was like an episode where like queens was like a barren wasteland or something yeah it might have been a joke episode yeah oh yeah they just made fun of queens yeah we'll go to queens you probably all know that's that's such a samantha thing that's such a i think that's a samantha thing you all probably knew this but you know what i discovered about queens today what What? It was where Scrabble was invented. Get out of here.

Yeah. Wow. So Scrabble, the photocopier. The photocopier was invented in Queens? The photocopier was invented in Astoria. It was invented right in a shop down on Broadway and 31st. I had no idea. No, 36th.

Get out of here. Yeah. What about Steinway Pianos? Didn't that start out here too? Yeah. No, it came here. Misnomer. Okay.

There was a Steinway Piano Factory. Damn it. Well, I just want to join in. Christopher Walk that start out here, too? Yeah. No, it came here. Misnomer. Okay. There was a Steinway Piano Factory. Damn it. Well, I just want to join in. Christopher Walken grew up here. That's true. He was invented here. Patrick McGowan. Patrick McGowan.

Patrick McGowan. As you said. Nuggets coach Mike Malone grew up. He coached COAO basketball at Most Precious Blood down off Broadway. David Schwimmer. Is that true? Ethel Merman. Oh.

Ethel Merman. Ethel Merman. Oh. Ethel Merman. Rants taken to the internet. Where do you think anyone gets their information these days? Robert Downey Jr. once played a character from Astoria. Who? Tony Stark? I can't. No, I don't remember his name per se.

You guys don't know what I'm talking about? No. Nope. Matthew, Look it up The man who likes women Do the research Look up Robert Downey Jr. Astoria

It's a really It's based on a true story About Oh no no no Astoria No no no A Shia LaBeouf was in it Yes

Yes Oh yes A guy to recognizing your saints A guy Yeah a guy to recognizing your saints It was shot It was shot Older and younger versions right

Yes And they shot it all Like up and down The subway The subway line he played an older shy of the beef yeah yeah that was the first thing he was like a hollywood writer that was true based on a true story that was coming back to his neighborhood in astoria yeah and it was all getting like it was an early channing tatum is it channing tatum gets killed on a young channing

tatum yeah teaching the work and thatario Dawson That's the true story That that kid killed himself On the L line in Astoria You know what's interesting too Speaking of which I found out something I was at a family event Earlier this week

And I was I learned a new piece of Information about my family Apparently my great-grandfather You know the turn On the 7 train By the Silver Cup Studios Yeah Yeah That is where my Great-grandfather died Really You know the turn on the 7 train by the Silver Cup Studios? Yeah.

That is where my great-grandfather died. Really? What? He was struck by lightning on that track, like right on that bend. Was he working on the track? He was a conductor. Oh, wow. And yeah, he got out during a rainstorm.

He overshot the platform and he had to get out with a key to unlock the train to roll it back. And he got hit by lightning, and it threw him into the third rail, and he got electrocuted even more. My God. Yeah. And I lived right under that stretch of track for three years. Yeah. I had no idea. So that's why my life is cursed.

No, you survived I survived Yeah Yeah And here you are in Queens I know As long as we're talking about Shia LaBeouf The Hollywood legend

We're not We're not No no no we are Nobody is I saw him That ended We're forgetting one other great Lydia Bastianich also

Astoria resident 92 years old God bless him Tony Bennett that's right Tony Bennett himself I did know that I did know that he has a daughter by the way named Antonia Bennett what a megalomaniac

good for him good for Tony Benz Maria Callas apparently spent some of her early childhood here oh wow well I think we've learned a lot about queens specifically a story we've learned a little bit about each other and a tiny bit about shy the beef i want you to say that before before we move on i have got to get an extremely extremely embarrassingly late Christmas thank you

There's no time Joe I have to Sorry no the business meeting went on for too long I literally I literally put this note in front Of my entire ability to run this episode On Sirenscape And Roll20 Because I kept forgetting it but a huge

Thank you to Brian and Kim and Connor and Russell and you owe them a thank you too. I certainly do. It may be one of the sweetest, if not the sweetest gifts I've ever received. So amazing. Brian and Kim and Connor and Russell. Thank you so much.

They, uh, they gave, they sent Troy and I personalized, uh, children's books about the, the day that, uh,

uh, Astor, the day that Joseph and Archer were born. Astor. That's my son's middle name, so I got it mixed up with Archer. Is it really his middle name? Yeah. Based on Astoria. I said that was the subway stop where he was conceived.

On the Green Line, Joe? On the Green Line? On the 6th? Astor Place. Right near the trash cans. Oh, Joe. We went to a different train line. Green Line? On the 6th? Astor Place. Astor Place. Right near the trash cans. Oh, no. Oh, no. Where I met George R.R. Martin.

You met him there? In Astor Place. Aaron and Joe went to see Blue Man Group and had a couple cocktails. Yeah, it's right there. Their office is right there. Oh, my God. Wow, little did we know. Wow. That's what my response

To your birth announcement Yeah I was shocked It wasn't Congratulations buddy He's like nope You know it's gonna be Something horrible

Oh wait I remember that now I remember that Anyway A huge thank you They sent us A book that they Brian and Kim

Wrote and illustrated That's a gorgeous book it's unbelievable it's like fantasy dragons and trolls and oh it's dnd and pathfinder based yeah it's really very much so in that realm and it tells the story of the birth of our children so thank you guys so much this is long overdue we illustrated a story the aster play subway stop yes it's very graphic and dragons over there i'm just really excited for the moment when that book is used and you guys are sitting down with gwen and archer and they teach their fathers how to read yeah that's gonna be the best moment that's why i'm holding on to it

so that he can read it to me yeah exactly anyway thank you guys so much They did leave a note To the rest of you To Skid Matthew Grant and Ellie That you guys Are you guys going to have kids soon? Grant Specifically he asks I'm a year out I talked to Angel

We had a talk You know what? I'm going to let the mace in On a little talk we had By the way I'm kidding He didn't really ask that I just asked it on air You're not supposed to ask that

This is a really dangerous road. If I don't have a child in 12 to 18 months, just stop. We're ending it. Forever. Wow. Can we make it a Patreon goal of some kind? Yes.

And if someone, you know, personally, you know, wants to name my child, it comes in at the cool cost. Oh, that's good. Now, is this just because it's going to take a year for you to get your count up jesus christ jesus christ i told you to stop i've never uh uh once identified with michelle obama more than I do right now Which is when Troy goes low I go high I'm going to leave it there I appreciate it Good luck with that

Good luck with that I'm like no I'm just going to censor myself My character's life Hangs in the balance Your character's life hangs in the balance Nay all of our lives hang in the balance It's not always about you i'm just saying that when pembroke if pembroke is not of his own mind we can't tell we are in very very

very bad shape yeah the day pembroke goes down you don't have teleport anymore you're really gonna appreciate teleport i mean i could i could get out probably well i mean we always but we well yeah just put yeah no fe Feyraza would probably be okay. She'd put five polymorph spells on herself at once. She'd turn into 17 pebbles and just roll on them. See ya! That'd be so cute. Just a big old pile of pebbles just rolling away.

They're like, the two incorporeal ladies are just like, I mean, okay. What can you do? What are you going to do about that you do look at her good luck rolling back to osirin uh you you know after cleaning out that room the the makeshift chapel of ergothoa with that fly with the death's head symbol on its back you anymore came yeah you desecrated the hell out of that with your, what was it, mold earth or? Stone shape. Stone shape, yeah. So that will no longer be revered there.

You came out and wanted to do some sort of flyovers on the chasm. Look at the chasm area and you went north first and saw an opening in the chasm. an opening in the chasm. Did some reconnaissance and saw that it went to the northeast and it was even wider going to the southwest. So you went to the northeast and soon found kind of dead-end-y. And then you came back out and was like, well, let's go check the other side of the chasm and saw that it was just more worm tunnels.

And so you started going down this tunnel, which had a strange green liquid running through the center, which one of you figured out was embalming fluid running opposite of the direction that you began walking down. Dalgrace stealths ahead. There's a big bend in this drainage tunnel, and you hear crying and sad sounds, female sounds. And then all of a sudden, a snowstorm fills the entire tunnel, up to you and beyond,

shooting out, presumably, this makeshift cave that you walked into. shooting out, presumably, this makeshift cave that you walked into. And these two sad, floating women in ornate robes just come up and start unleashing cones of cold, ice storms, which have now made the entire area difficult terrain. Luckily, Feyraza cast protection from cold, was it? Energy resistance. Energy resistance, which saved the day. I mean, we literally would be unconscious. You'd all be unconscious of dying.

Cone of cold, even at this high level, it takes somebody out of the combat. They're like, I've got to go leave for three rounds and heal. Good luck. If it doesn't take out more. So that was huge. How huge, Troy? Not bottle cap huge, but close.

Certainly close. Like, I thought about it. I just, I reached around, and I couldn't find one. It is so huge. Like, so incredibly huge. It cannot be overstated, Matt, how huge it was. Thanks, Joe. I think you should get a bottle cap.

I think he's OP and should be killed. Yes, well, I'm working on both. Oh, damn it. The bottle cap and killing her. It ends with one of them gazing. Oh, God. At you guys. These are always bad.

And, you know, learning the rules about gaze a little bit better. You guys all have to roll to save on your turn, but you have a decision. You can either avert your eyes or blindfold yourself, which isn't really realistic because of the number of actions it would take to do so. But averting your eyes gives you a 50% chance that you don't even have to roll the save. Pembroke tried to avert his eyes, but couldn't. Rolled the save. And failed.

He is flying in the air. Were you in the middle of casting anything from the previous round? Do you remember? I don't think so. I don't think so either. I think you laid pretty significant damage with some spells and some magic missiles. I did a swift action magic missile, and I did fire It wasn't chain lightning. Fire Snake. It was Fire Snake. Fire Snake, yeah. Fire Snake plus the Metamagic Rod.

Right. You are... Magic Missile, right? Yes. You stare into the eyes of this beautiful, forlorn, you know, white, very pale, white-skinned woman with a bluish-black hair, and you are completely lost in her gaze. And you are currently fascinated. Oh, not again.

Is this bullshit again? I mean, are you 100% Tony? Yes. It is fascinating. Now, we've played with fascinated before. We've played fast and loose with it, or at least I did. You take a minus four penalty on skill checks made as reactions. It's not really going to affect you.

Any potential threat, such as a hostile creature approaching you, allows you to make a new saving throw. Any obvious threat, such as drawing a weapon, casting a spell, or aiming a weapon at you, automatically breaks the effect. So they can attack your allies at will. casting a spell or aiming a weapon at you automatically breaks the effect. Okay. So they can attack your allies at will, but anytime they make a move on you, you either get a save if it's a sort of an inadvertent move or automatically breaks it if it's an attack move on you. But really what it does for this round is it takes away your round because you're fascinated. Shit.

It's one of those things where it's like, okay, fascinating. Great. Well, we only lost Pembroke for a round. What a cliffhanger, Troy. That's not a big deal. Well, we'll see. Because now we're moving to the next round and it is Dalgrith, Deathbringer's Tour. Lots of difficult terrain. Can I just say?

Yeah. I find it very telling that when you talk to yourself like that the the voices are always like very mean to you're very mean to yourself really yeah they're always in opposition oh do you think he's like an example like what you just said like what you just said oh i know all you out there like oh that's not that sucks he didn't even say all you out there he just just internalized it. He's like, I know it's like, Troy, we're not a great cliffhanger. So I'm mean to everyone, including myself. You think everyone hates you.

You're imagining these foes that are opposed to everything. You're like Billy Martin. You surround yourself by ghostly foes. Everyone's judging you and hating you all the time. But I do have this thing where I think that everyone dislikes me. I think there are people who really like me and then there are people who just mostly tolerate me. But there's no middle ground, so maybe that's why.

Matthew, I think we should dig into this a little bit. Because you're tapping into some big part of my psyche here. We should definitely pop-psychologize you. I'm sure it would take not a lot of time at all. That's very rude. I mean, you've got to think about it. I'm having more wine now. With Jesus, the term is to know him is to love him.

And a lot of people know you. I have been compared to him before. A lot of people know you on a surface level, but not many people really know you. Right. And to know you is to hate you. Yes, that's right. To hate you. That's what I fear when I go to sleep at night.

No, you're all right. Yeah, we appreciate that. Is that why you had children? So you had somebody that would automatically... Guaranteed love. Yeah. For the first seven years. For the first, yeah, 15 years or so.

Until the rules come down. Right. Wow. Or puberty, either way. Yeah. Puberty will... You'll have a child that hates you, but it won't be your fault. Yeah.

I don't know if I'm sad now or mad or just like oh yeah, business as usual. Just keep drinking that peanut. Everyone hates me especially Matthew since he brought it up. I was just trying to point out that maybe you could just let that go.

I don't know, man. Now you got me bummed out. Now I don't know if I want to even complete this combat. I'm thinking this is getting very philosophical. I'm like, what's the point?

Everyone hates me. What's the point? What's the point of doing this? Fail to save. You have to find your own self-worth. I'm thinking, this is getting very philosophical. I'm like, what's the point? Everyone hates me. What's the point? What's the point of doing this? Fail to save. You should find your own self-worth. I want to go back to the business meeting for a second. All right, we'll continue with the combat, but I wanted to continue this further later. Dalgrith, you're up, I guess.

Oh, God. I guess. Yeah, whatever. Why don't you decide what you want to do about this fortitude save, because that gaze is active on you as well. I will avert my eyes. You will attempt to avert your eyes. I will avert my eyes.

This means I won't be affected. 50% chance. 51 and higher. I do not have to make the save. Come on, Dabra. That, my friend, is a 48. Classic. Awesome.

Fucking O'Brien. Good work. Sometimes I think you're going to be like, nailed it. But you're like, Joe and being Joe. Joe and being Joe. Joe work. Sometimes I think you're going to be like, nailed it, but you're like, Joe-ing being Joe-ing. Joe's going to Joe. All right, roll your eventual fail-save. Joey, Joey, Joey.

I like this one a lot more. Sorry, Nick. Is it will-save? Will-save. Guaranteed fail-zowny. Oh, no! 23, Nick. Is it a will save? Will save. Guaranteed fail. Zony! Oh, no! 23, baby. Oh!

Oh! DC 22. Natural 19. Oh, shit. I have a fucking 4 right now. I almost got you. Man, I would have got so much mileage out of this fascinating game. How do I only have a plus 4?

I know you have a plus 4. Oh, my God. Is it a spell or spelling ability? Supernatural. Grant's favorite. Yeah. I have no wisdom, and a rogue at 12th level is just plus four. You took off the negative levels, right? Yeah.

That's why you burn an iron will or an improved iron will. You've got to get that up. Yeah. Got a cloak of resistance on, Grant? Not this round, my friend. It's taken down. All right. What is this sort of thing in front of Dalgrath?

All right. So that rock I put there is just for a roll 20 so that I can create the aura of difficult terrain. Just shrink the rock. You can't shrink it being smaller than a five foot square. Yes, you can. Hold alt or command or whatever on an apple. This is great radio. Very easy.

Command, really? Just give me control of it and I'll do it. All right. Dalgrath has a loaded bolt option. Look at that! Look at that tiny little rock! There we go. Son of a bitch. They can all see it.

Oh, wow. Dog Wraith is going to fire at the woman to his left. Minus four because of the fucking snowstorm, bro! Minus four because of the snowstorm and 50% mischance. And you're not great at this game. And by the way, we determined that these different creatures are going to be up and down, not left and right. You remember that? You called them up and down.

You're shooting it up. Down. Downy. Down. Robert Downey Jr., here we go. We're going to show her how we do it downtown. Minus four to hit, you said, right? Yes. That is a 31. Alright, now it's not a 50, right? Yes. That is a 31. All right. Now, it's not a 50% mischance.

It's a 20% mischance because of blur, the blur effect. No, because I averted my gaze. Doesn't that give me... No, they have blur on them as well. Yes. I don't think that stacks. You can't get more than 30. Yeah, so 50%.

Now roll that. So 50% mischance. So that's a hit pending a 18. Oh. On concealment. And I will load the crossbow. Jolene. Jolene.

That should be the new Joe's going to roll. Jolene. Jolene. Jolene. Come on, man. Wait, we need Nick Lowe to make a version that's like, Joe rolls. Joe rolls.

Joe rolls. Joe rolls. That was beautiful harmony, guys. Come on, babe. Please don't fail to see. We're called the Oneeders. Baron, I want to know. That's a deep cut.

I want to know what you're going to do about this gaze, first of all. You know, I try to think to myself. I've always discouraged that. Could I make an excuse that Baron would have a bandana because he's a sheriff? But no, I couldn't do it. So I'm just going to avert my gaze. All right. 50% chance that you actually avert it. 63, baby. Oh, yeah.

No surprises there. None at all. None. None in the least. Oh, it's Ghost. I dedicated that role to Joe O'Brien. Every time we play, the whole time, he just smiles. He's just smiling the whole time.

He's a happy guy. I don't know why you guys have problems with this game. It's easy. You've got a clear, and clear I'm using loosely, a clear-ish shot on the down. But it is going to be a 50% mischance because you averted your eyes and a minus four. And you know that the touch attack situation is not great. Yeah, no, I tried to make a touch attack and it was not the

total success it normally is for me, which has made me think about trying Vampire the Masquerade every day. You know what? We'd love to replace you. Let's rabbit shot this character. Oh, Jesus, right out of the box. Classic burger special. Natural 20. Oh! What was the roll out of the box. Classic burger special. Yeah. A natural 20.

Oh! What was the roll out of the box? Joe has gotten up from the table. See you, Joe. He's so good, LaValle. Do you want me to confirm or roll the conceal first? Well, you don't need to confirm, but roll the concealment. You guys need to confirm.

Roll the concealment first. 56. Yes! All right, now roll the confer. That doesn't crit. You can't crit them. They're incorporeal. Right, excellent point.

Just a hit. Thank you, sir. Exploding dice? I'll give you exploding. All right, exploding dice. I shouldn't. Dice. I will.

Plus 2d6. Come on. I have undead banner. Come on, dude. Come on, dude. Okay, it's not 9 plus... Terrible. 26 points of damage.

Which would be 13 since you are a corporeal source. This is true. You ready for the next attack against Robert Downey Jr.? I'm ready. I'm ready. Total of a 29 against Touch AC. Okay. And that's with the minus four.

Yes. Okay. Now roll... No, that's before the minus four. All right. So 25 total. Roll your percentile. Okay. Here it comes. Here it comes. Okay, now roll. No, that's before the minus four. All right, so 25 total. Roll your percentile. Okay, here it comes.

Here it comes. I'm feeling lucky. Come on. I'm feeling lucky. Oh, 44. You would do. You would do. All right, final attack.

Final attack. Natural 20. Oh, my God. Can I see that die? Is that die all 20s? What the fuck? Matthew is choking. What the fuck?

This is really generally frustrating. This is a different dog. Roll your eyes. 80. Okay, nice. There we go. Let's get this exploding dice action. Okay, not good.

Oh, no. Terrible. Once again. Group damage. It's just a really embarrassing round, Grant. Sorry, 25. So 12 points damage. 13 if you're feeling juicy. I'm not.

Hey, hell of a round. Yep, and most damage any of us has done so far. Yeah. Yeah, a couple of natural 20s. Joe, why don't you just do what he does? Shut up. You'd be so much happier when we play. Have some wine.

Hey, Raza, you're up. What do you want? Do you want to avert your eyes? You want to create a magical blindfold out of dust? Before we even get to me. Oh, God. I'm going to roll to see how many friends are going to be joining us. Oh, yeah.

Here we go. I'm going to roll a D3. One, one. All right. So two fifth level nature's allies appear. Yeah. What kind of allies are we talking? Emperor penguins. Are there going to be two? Yes,'s allies appear. What kind of allies are we talking? Emperor penguins.

Are there going to be two? Yes, yes, yes! Are there going to be two large fire elementals? Oh, shit! Are you killing me? Are you killing me? They're going to flank. I'm going to put them in the squares

basically between them so they're flanking. Well, they can't flank them, so... Oh, right. Technically, so just do whatever... Let's do one in front, one behind. So you want to put them, like,

directly flanking? Yeah, my... Because they have reach. I know, but I was trying to kind of interpose myself between them and Pembroke. Okay. And Lee, Baron, or clear shot.

Oh, that's so nice. All right. I don't... I don't like it, but that was your intention. That was my intention. Roll to attack. Does that matter?

Do you need line of sight for the fascinate? Fascinate? Since it's a gaze effect? Yes, I would. We'll let you think about that. Matthew, go ahead. Okay. The up fire elemental is going gonna reach out to slam. And remember, don't give them a plus two, because they can't actually flank.

Yes, so that is a 28 to hit. That is a hit. Which one is up or down? Nice! I'm gonna hit up. You're gonna hit up. Up against up. Okay, and this is a magical creature, so this should take full damage.

Does it? Well, 50%. No, it's a, it's physical damage. It's physical damage. It's physical damage. It's still a corporeal sword. Yeah. It's not an incorporeal creature. All right, roll 20% mischance because of the blur effect.

I'm shocked that I'm remembering half of these rules. Okay, got it. There. And then minimum damage, three damage. So that's going to be one point of damage? My God. Well, no, this is corporeal, so they take no damage, right? They would take no damage on this?

No, well... I would definitely do half damage. It's up to Troy, though. So wait, what is the... They're magical creatures. Yeah. Are they magical creatures? Well, I summoned it, but it summoned nature's ally, not summoned monster.

Yeah, but they're made out of summoned nature's ally, not summoned monster. Yeah, but they're made out of fire. They're made out of fire. So. That's magical fire. Right, it's not non-magical fire. If you go to the zoo, you're not going to save fire elemental. That's a good point. So. Definitely magical. We're also talking about

one point of damage. Are we going to continue to debate this? You know, I'll give you the one. I have three more attacks, so we might decide. Alright, this? You know, I'll give you the one. I have three more attacks, so we might decide. Alright, well, for now, I'll give you the one. This is up, right? Yes, up. Roll a reflex save. Are you immune to things like burn? No, no.

Roll a reflex save. You roll a... I rolled a d12. Is that good? Yep. My first time playing, sorry. Fail. 14. Okay, so you catch on fire. Really? I'm going to go through. This incorporeal being catches on fire.

Yeah, really? The incorporeal ghost is on fire? What kind of effect is that? Let me ask you that. It is... Does it have a name for it? Because they're immune to a lot of effects. It's a burn effect.

I don't know. Sure, but does that fall under precision damage? No. Yes, so... What fall under, like, precision damage? No. Yes. So what are the other things they're immune to? Oh, God. Ability drain, bleed, cold, critical hits, death effects, disease, energy drain, exhausted, fatigue, mind affecting, non-lethal, paralysis, physical ability damage, poison. No, it's immune.

It is immune. Thanks for that free knowledge check, Troy. It says it can be harmed only by other incorporeal creatures, magic weapons, or creatures that strike as magic weapons and spells, spell-like abilities or supernatural abilities. I don't think these guys strike as magic weapons. I mean, it's a slam. And it's a physical. Fire is physical. You know, even though. Yeah.

But it's. You've clouded the room. Basically. Clouded the room. But they cannot hurt these creatures. Okay, great. So. You've clouded the room, basically. Clouded the room. But they cannot hurt these creatures. Okay, great. So... It looks great on the map, though.

Yeah, it looks great. I think you might be able... You know, it's possible, but I think it's safer to just say you can't hurt them. Right. That's fine. I want...

My goal was to kind of interpose and give them additional targets. You did that. And then... So I know... Faraz needs to roll... What can I save? You can either avert your eyes,

oh, we were trying to discuss whether about line of sight here. Yeah. Yeah, gaze. I mean, you could argue that they made the gaze before this happened, but you're making the saves happen on the player turn. I would love to make you roll the save, but whether, you know, line of fact,

it's like only looking directly at a creature with a gaze attack leaves an opponent vulnerable. You can't see their eyes if these creatures have interposed. You're damn right. So I will not make you roll the save. Nice.

You are damn skippy. Don't say I never gave you nothing, even though you've now admitted that you don't like me as a person. I didn't say that at all. I was trying. You did not say it. I was observing. You didn't say you loved me.

Exactly. Exactly. You didn't go out of your way to say nice things. I pointed out that you were being hard on yourself. I was trying to help you. I was trying to help you. I wouldn't have to be so hard if you just maybe cared about me a little bit. That's what I'm saying.

Did my observation not suggest care? If it didn't, I'm sorry, because it was embedded with care. It was like, there were like little like chocolate chips of care. Well, I'm left questioning everything, Matthew. Well, that was not, that was unanticipated.

You failed to calculate how fragile Troy's psyche is. I did. I did totally fail to do that. It's my turn. No, it's Faraz's turn. Damn it all. Faraz. Roll a save.

No, I don't have to. I just wanted to roll a save. Faraz is going to move. Hold up, Ryan. She's going to move next to Pemberk and try to shake him out of his fascination. Oh. Shake him up. Okay. Shake him up. Okay.

Shake him up. That's it. Standard action. You are no longer fascinated. Excellent. Pembroke. Thank you. Because that's a cool thing to do.

That is great. It's my turn. Snap out of it. We'll say. Snap out of it. Uppy here is going to do a cone of coal to get these fire elementals out of the way because the one thing you did is you just made it impossible of cold to get these fire elementals out of the way because the one thing you did is you just made it impossible for them

to do anything to you guys with at least that fire elemental that's between you and them. Hell yeah. She's going to do a cone of cold. Everybody roll, yeah, everyone, except the left fire elemental, roll a reflex save.

Reflex. Reflex saving. Going to get a reflex save. Reflex. Reflex saving. Going to get it every time. Reflex. Flex, flex, flex. Oh, my God. Would you mind if I announce it for the record? Grant rolled another natural 20.

Another natural 20. He's doing really well. I'm really proud of you, Grant. Really proud of you. I feel like the stock market in 1996. 1929. I want really proud of you, Grant. Really proud of you. I feel like the stock market in 1996. 1929. I want to go up. Grant, I'm assuming you say

31. I don't need to know your age. Skid, what'd you get? 23. 23, exactly. Half damage for you. What about you? 18 on the die. Matthew? Ferrazza rolled a 25 and Uppy, the fire elemental, rolled a 21. 25 And Uppy the fire elemental Rolled a 21

Yeah Uppy failed He also has a vulnerability to cold That's why I did it What about your character's name I'm just going to say 24 Okay what did he actually roll 24 So only fire elemental

Failed which was what I wanted. Ooh, I see some sixes. 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21. That's 8, 29, 32 points of damage to the Fire Elemental. So actually, no, that's 32 plus half. Yes. So that's another 16. 48.

48 damage. The rest of you take 16 points of cold, which you don't take anything. Actually, no, that's 32 plus half. Yes. So that's another 16. 48. 48. Damage. The rest of you take 16 points of coal, which you don't take anything. Yeah. I'll pass. Courtesy of Feyraza. Is the fire elemental dead? No.

Damn it all to hell. Okay. All right. He lives. He burns on. It's really going to separate the men from the boys here. All right. The other one is going to fly up to Baron.

So the fire elemental can take an attack of opportunity. It does nothing. It does take that attack of opportunity. Okay. What is it going to do? It goes right through your body. And your fire elemental is less than 20 feet tall, correct? Or is it 20 feet tall?

Because if it was 20 feet tall, there needs to be some acrobatic checks going on here. No, it flew around it. Do you see the... Oh, there's a little area. There's a little area there. Got it, okay. It's going to fly around there. It's 16 feet long.

And it comes... Yeah, it comes up to attack Baron with a chilling touch. Thank you, Skip. With a chilling touch, that is going to be a 30 to hit. Against touch AC? Against touch AC. Okay, this probably isn't going to hurt you.

It is 15 points of damage. You know, it's funny. It says chilling touch, but it doesn't say cold damage. know, it's funny. It says Chilling Touch, but it doesn't say Cold Damage. I think it's cold. It must obviously be cold, but usually it says cold. I would think it would say cold if it was cold. Right? I think it's just a physical damage.

It's a fun name for its spell. So I'm going to say 15 points of damage. It disrupts the life force of the living creature. Oh, here we go. Chilling Touch. Yeah, it is cold damage. Oh, yay. You take no damage. It disrupts the life force of living creatures. Oh, here we go. Chilling touch. Yeah, it is cold damage. Oh, yay. You take no damage.

Excellent. But you must make, whenever a creature takes cold damage in this manner, it must make a fortitude save. But you didn't actually take the damage. So I'm not going to make you roll a fortitude save to see if you were staggered by the chill of the cold. Okay. However, that thing is now up in your business, and it comes back to Pembroke, who is no longer fascinated thanks to Fey Rasa. Pembroke is kind of limited here what he can do.

Oh, no. Well, he does have one use of the rod left. Spare the rod. Spoil the party. I don't want to spare the rod at all. So, yeah. He is going to use a swift action to fire a magic missile

off at the one that moved closer into the room. Am I correct that will provoke from the fire elemental? Totally, yes. If he suddenly fire elemental. Totally, yes. If he suddenly turns hostile towards me, yes. Matthew, roll the attack. I will wave that.

The fire elemental will be like, Oh, thank you. You're all right. It's my job to ask. And that is 19 points of force damage. Force damage all cuts through. And then he is going to cast a fireball down the hall to the furthest

point in the hallway that he can hit it and still catch the further one away. Still catch her in the radius. Is that a reflex save? It is. Not my favorite save. Fail. 14. Nice work, dude.

So that will still be half damage, but that is a failed save On a very juicy Wizard fireball And the fire elements Are immune to fire That I figured I wrote

I hope as much That is 46 points of damage To Ferthy So 23 Amazing Wow Question right back at you, Troy The magic missile

For the purposes of Type of attack of attack. Magic attack or ranged attack? Magic missile... It doesn't have an attack roll. Yeah, no. Okay, so it's not a ranged attack. They auto-hit.

And because it's force damage, it cuts straight through the incorporator. Didn't we decide that last episode? Yeah. Just double-check them. Yeah. And I am going to move back through the room, back behind Dalgrith. Okay. Flying back behind him.

Oh, God. What a turn. Not bad, eh? Okay. Not bad. Yeah, Pembroke is very, he can do a lot. Once you get metamagic feats, metamagic feats are always very intimidating to me as a player. Because when you look at him at like when your wizard is like third or fourth level, you're like, which one do I choose?

There's a high penalty to pay at early levels. It is. I mean, it's not a feat. A feat would make the spell itself more expensive. I think I'd have to cast it as a third level spell to be able to do that. But this is a rod that just gives me three uses of it a day. And I could have actually done it up to third level. So I could have done it with the fireball.

I could have made the fireball. It is an insanely useful piece of equipment that we found. For a wizard that's already on the verge of godhood. Yeah. We're going to go to a new round here. And it's going to be Dalgrith's turn. Joe, I just feel like everyone wants a little bit more out of you. I know. You know what? You know who wants more out of himself? Dalgrith's turn. Joe, I just feel like everyone wants a little bit more out of you. I know.

You know what? You know who wants more out of himself? Dalgrith. Yeah. He's standing in this heavy, heavy wind. His hair is blowing in his face. He knows how ineffective he's being. He looks across ten feet at this creature who's just sort of like wailing, wailing, I don't know, in some sort of pain.

And he knows that he can barely hit it. Now, he has to avert a gaze, or is that something they have to activate? No, that's all right. It's been unactivated. Just remember back to when you fought the wailing banshees during the Tempest of Connymere. How you bested them. Ah, the bard sang songs in the taverns for months. He's right next to me. I can hear all this.

But it still doesn't change Dalgray's demeanor. He's frustrated by the situation. He doesn't want to put voice to it necessarily, but he's loaded up this crossbow boat. He's looking across at this ghostly figure, and he's looking her in the eye, and he's like, What horrors have been done to you? Why? Why do you done to you? Why?

Why do you attack us here? Why not just move along? What's wrong with you? He doesn't... His heart's not in it. But he, of course, is going to defend himself and his friends. He will... He'll take a shot with this Undead Bane

Light Crossbow Natural 20 Had to get it Now you're gonna roll that blur And then a goddamn Fucking 13 No Come on man

No Even before you rolled it I I'm like, that 20 is gone. What's the point? Just move along. We want no fight. You're an idiot. Deadly spirit. He's not like Scrooge.

Ah, brutal. Joros. Joros. Joros. Joros. Is that it? Can we move on? Ah, brutal Joe Rose, Joe Rose, Joe Rose, Joe Rose Is that it? Can we move on? He will reload the goddamn crossbow You know, it's the Marsha 200, Joe

Believe me, I want something to come out of it here This is just really tough, man These things, what are these women doing here? I want to know, what are these spirits? They're humanoid, right? They're not giant-sized. They're medium-sized. They're medium-sized creatures, but they're...

Are they... They're ghosts, man. Did I do a proper knowledge religion on them? I mean, like, where do they come from? Are they from the spirits of... Perhaps they were slaves here in the camp that were horribly treated? I don't know. Perhaps they were... I don't know. Perhaps they were.

I don't know if you rolled knowledge religion, so I'll allow you to roll one right now. I'm going to do a quick. Just so you can contribute to this episode. Thank you. That's all I'm trying to do is be relevant. That is a 20. Okay. Knowledge religion.

They are creatures known as Yuki Anas. Okay. And last week when we went off the air, I told you. Snow women, right? Yes. They're like these. We fought one of these. We didn't.

You fought one in Jade Region. In Jade Region, yeah. On the crown of the world. But I don't remember from whence they come or why they come to be. Yeah. They're a very interesting story. I'm actually not interested. Dalgrith isn't interested at this point in their weaknesses or their powers.

He wants to know like, why has this undead incorporeal spirit of this woman come wailing at us right now? It's great. Cause this goes back to like, this is beyond Pathfinder and D and D. This is like Japanese folklore and that game Neo, uh,

which is like the dark soul set in feudal. There's a boss fight against a Yuki Onna and I didn't know it was going to happen. I got to that fight and I was like, holy shit, it's a Yuki Onna! Yeah, Yuki means snow in Japanese and Onna is woman. Snow woman.

And it's also close to Oni, which is Japanese for spirit or demon spirit. Yeah, so the thing you would know is that, like, something happened to these women. Do they look identical? Or do they look like two different women? Two different women. Okay. Two different spirits.

Do they appear identical? No. Okay. No, no, definitely not. They're like restless spirits that froze to death in the snow. And because they were never given a proper burial, their spirits are roaming around looking like trying to complete the thing that was never completed. I wish we could do something, you know what I mean?

Rather than just killing them, I wish we could be like, I'll bury your body, I'll find it, I'll give it a proper burial, I promise. Just don't kill my friends, we've done nothing to ya. It's very tragic, and that's why they're crying, because it says right here on D20 PFSRD, the transition

from life to undeath corrupts a Yuki-Anna's soul, because they don't quite get there the natural way, because they're not interred correctly. It corrupts their soul. And so they wander aimlessly trying to kill others. Tragic. So tragic.

Yeah. There might be. But like, why are they here? I like it. I like to think that they. Well, I mean, some of the slaves. Not surprising at all. It's not surprising at all that somebody froze to death in this mountain.

But like, do you remember the rainstorm or whatever you brought down when we came across that caravan and a bunch of the slaves they were carrying? A bunch of slaves died. I think maybe some of them are wandering around this mountain and they found their way. They thought this was home because it was the closest thing to maybe the castle they were from or it reminds them of Skelts, this big tower on the side of the thing, and they're here. Pembroke, I fought one. I will say you guys are close to the truth.

I will say, Pembroke, I fought one on the crown of the world. They need rest. In another adventure path. In another adventure path. Ah, yes, another group much more effective than this one. I heard tales of these other adventurers. No, but they need to be put to rest. I don't know that I can do it with a simple crossbow.

I need your help. Please, put their spirits to rest. I'm doing all I can. It is Baron's turn. Baron, find me an alignment. This thing's up in your business. Ask again. Difficult terrain as far as the eye can see.

What do you want me to do? I'm sorry, Dalgrith. I can't possibly find someone in alignment who can't hit these things. And then he's going to stay where he is. Okay. Because he can't five foot step with this difficult terrain. Right. He's got to move and then shoot.

And you know that their attack of opportunity is a chilling touch that would really only affect you on a crit. Yeah, so let's go for a full round attack action. All right, let me take my attack bar just to see what happens here. Natural. I missed. Well, actually, 15 against touch. Miss. Not a giant crit.

First attack. Oh, dude. That's a 23 unadjusted against touch. That is a miss. 23 unadjusted? Yeah, so 19. 19, that is a miss. Second attack isjusted? Yeah. So 19. 19. That is a miss. Second attack is a natural one.

Oh, no! Oh, my God. And you might actually permanently fumble. You might actually fumble. Here it comes. Yeah, you've misfired a lot lately, but not on a one. That is a total of a Unadjusted 28 against touch AC

So minus 4 That is a fumble Wait, people are hitting on 23's It's a 25 touch AC Is their touch AC higher than their regular AC? It's exactly the same People have been hitting on 24's I thought No, no

Ladies and gentlemen, I bring you to the least used area of our fan critical page, the ranged crit, or the ranged fumble. Play the drops, kid. Play the drops, kid. We don't have one. The ranged crit fumble. Oh, my God. This one from Richard in Ontario, Canada.

Oh, no. Unintentional discharge. Ew. That sounds gross. They are very pretty. In the moment of firing, your weapon slips from your grasp in the winds of the snowy storm. Roll a reflex save. On a success, the weapon falls harmlessly at your feet.

On a success by 10 or more, you don't even drop the weapon. On a fail, the weapon hits the ground and discharges in a random direction at a random creature dealing normal weapon damage to whatever target is hit. What's the DC? The DC is 25.

Reflex DC 25. Natural 20. Do you beat it by 10? Is that a 35? Reflex C? No, reflex is a 31. Oh, no. You only have a plus 11? Yeah, dude.

Oh. Boo. Boo. All right, so it falls from your grasp, but it falls right at your feet. Okay. It falls and misfires. It is a misfired gun sitting at your feet. Oh, yeah, the gun still misfires.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, man. Woo. That was less than optimal. No, you don't have a move Yeah. Oh, man. You do have a... No, you don't have a move action. Because I started a full round attack action. It is Feyraz's turn.

Things are changing here. Things are not looking fun or good at all. Now, we're under the understanding here that that resist energy cold is going to presumably last to the end of the combat, right? That's not a ticking clock. Right? It is not hours. Ten minutes per level? One minute per level?

This isn't going to be a 40-round combat, so it's probably going to be fine. It is ten minutes per level. Swin among the recipients, so I believe we all got 30. Okay, half hour. Okay, so the lower... He can't. So the fire elementalists are going to stay where they are, and Farazza is going to draw Brynja's

love. Oh, right! Ghost touch! It's ghost touch! As a standard action, she will say the command word to give it ghost touch for a minute. What? And then she'll say, Dalgrith, take the dagger!

Oh my god! Oh my god I love it that's amazing Matthew bottom there we go thank you

that's how you earn them that's how you earn them you had one all along I did even though you don't like me you get a bottle I could just

can you just picture it like the wind swirling past she's barely holding the dagger out to dog and this knife has been carrying since like episode one.

I killed Lark with it. All right. That's amazing. Who gave it to you? I had it when we visited the Shawanti. Right. When they took our weapons, Farazza swiped it back. So cool.

It's a fire blackened blade. Yeah, yeah. The wind and it says my love. It's the ghost touch property. So cool. It's a fire-blackened blade. Yeah, yeah. The wind, and it says, my love. It has the ghost touch property! So cool! That's awesome. That's awesome. Alright, it's the Yuki Onna's turn. The one who is trapped between the fire

elementals is going to do its final cone of cold. So everyone roll a reflex save except the down fire elemental. Oh, shit. 24. 24, you're okay. Pembroke, it sounded like you failed.

I failed. Farazza got an 18. Dalgrith passed. Fail for Farazza. I rolled a lot of sixes. And Uppy got a 29.

Nice. All right, pass. And Dalgreath has evasion too, right? Yeah, but it's not relevant for here. But yeah, he does. All right, so Feyraza and Pembroke failed. Everybody else succeeded. 24, 28, 29, 39,

40, 41, 42, 46 points of damage. So 16 points of damage. To Feyraza and Pembroke. Damn! Holy shit. That's a good roll. I rolled four sixes on 10d6. Wow. Two fives and some other nonsense.

And the rest of you I'm assuming, are fine. But the fire elemental... Dead. Dead. Even with half damage. Oh, boy. Cleared the room of that nonsense.

Now, the other one up here, you know, these are intelligent creatures. Highly intelligent creatures. So they know their chilling touch is not affecting you. Even on a crit, it's gonna be hard to break through. Almost impossible. Really, really difficult. So this one is going to do

an ice storm. Centered on just to expand the room here, it's gonna be centered on Pembroke Square, but that doesn't matter because it affects all of you the same. Even the lower fire elemental?

Not the lower fire elemental. Fuck that guy. So I'm going to need everybody to... Let's see. No, we just take damage? Yeah, you just take the damage. So everybody takes... Oh, nice roll.

Eight plus five. Thirteen points of bludgeoning. And then you won't take the ten points of cold. So thirteen points of bludgeoning. But now the difficult terrain... Three points of bludgeoning. ...has expanded. Oh, I forgot about stone skin.

Stone skin, baby. Oh, right. Okay. To hell with Stone Skin. So then on the... But the coat of cold would not be affected by Stone Skin. Right? No.

Physical damage. But you got kind of cold protection you cast on us, so... We all good. All right, so now the difficult terrain extends further. So there's really no chance to escape this combat. But they have taken their turns, and it is Pembroke's turn. Whew. Yeah.

Pembroke is in a lot of trouble right now. Hit point-wise, is he okay? Yes. No, he's not okay. Oh. He's in rough shape. All right, so he has a line of sight on this closer... Actually, both of them, right?

Yeah, but line of sight on both of them. Obviously, it's snowy, but you still have that line of sight. Okay. He's going to use his staff and cast, raise it, level it at this one that's closer to him and cast lightning bolt out of the staff. Oh, boy. What are we talking here? Reflex save?

Yes. I have failed every reflex save, and I failed that one again. Another 14. I think I've rolled 314. Wow. Awesome. So, yeah, that is a fail. 34 points of electricity damage.

Okay, so 17 points of damage. She is not in great shape. Who's she? Just the one right in front of Dahlgraith? Yes, the one that is now to her left is Feyraza, 10 feet away from her to the north is Dahlgraith. Right next to Dahlgraith is Pembroke, who's also 10 feet away, and then

right to her right, 5 feet away diagonally, is Baron. The other one is farther to the southwest, right next to that fire elemental. Who's swinging away. Who's just swinging away, just causing trouble, shaking things up. Pembroke, do you have any other actions? I think, yeah, I'm going to float back like five feet diagonally, like a little bit further away. Just to gain some distance there in case another AoE spell comes in.

We don't want to knock Pembroke unconscious. It's a new round. Joe, you're due, buddy. You're due. Oh, God. Yeah. Dahlgraith, very difficultly through this after the ice storm. It's all difficult terrain again.

Walk up five feet through the snow up to this creature in front of him. Yep. Holding this dagger. He's got the crossbow off to his in his left hand just kind of dropped to the side and this dagger in his right.

Staff killer. Yes. He's going to step up to where side and this dagger in his right Stab killer. Yes. He's going to step up to her. The wind's buffeting his face, blowing his hair in front of his eyes as he looks at her and he's like I'm sorry. I'm sorry about your end. I only want to put you to rest. And he just

the dagger starts to glow with an eerie white light and he stabs it right into her neck. 23 to hit. Oh. Misses. Roll the miss chance. That's it.

Do you get, you took a five foot step. Oh, you can't take a five foot step. It was difficult terrain, but now he's close. Yeah. You are right up in the business. Baron, you've got a misfired gun sitting on the ground in front of you. What do you do? Baron is going to spend a move action to pick up that gun.

Okay, she'll go ahead and take her attack of opportunity, even though it's not going to do shit, and she misses. 18 against touch? That's a miss. Miss standard action is going to clear the weapon, thereby keeping his last grid point reserved. Safe.

But as the final action of his turn, he's going to look up at her and say, Why don't you take a chill pill? That's cold, Baron. That's cold. Farazza. Farazza is going to spend her move action moving over to Pembroke

and she will cast Cure Serious. You know what? She's going to move over to Pembroke and she will cast Cure Serious uh you know what? She's gonna move over to Pembroke but then she's gonna use a standard action to call a lightning bolt down on the one that wasn't looking so well. Ah, you would cast that spell before so you can just at will call these lightning bolts. Standard action. Oh, nice. Okay, so you move standard action. What's the save?

Reflex. Awesome! Uh, correct. Standard action, what's the save? Reflex. Awesome. Correct. 14. Oh, I rolled a natural 14. How'd you know that? I thought it was going to be a digested 14. That's going to be a 23 totes.

Okay, you pass. So you take seven points of damage. So halved? No, I already halved it. I rolled 15. You rolled 15, but then I halved it again because of corporeal source. Oosh, bagoosh. And that's all you got, right?

That's all I got. All right, their turn again. They're going to rain down another ice storm. This girl is going to ice storm you guys. You're going to take, and this is going to be even a little bit farther in the cavern, just creating more difficult terrain. Oh, boy. 13 points of bludgeoning to you guys. So three points terrain. Oh, boy. 13 points of bludgeoning to you guys.

So three points of bludgeoning. Three points of bludgeoning. And then 11 points of cold rocks, but the cold's not going to hurt you. Awesome. You still okay? I'm okay. I'm very... I've got bruises. Very badly burned.

Very badly burned. And then the one in the back there, that one's just kind of hanging out near that fire elemental. I want to kind of mix things up here, but your resist energy cold really rains on my parade. Don't tell me not to live. Stop it. That's the first line, don't rain on my parade. I just want to have some fun with my chilling touch, so I'm going to attack. Stop it. That's the first line from Joe Rain on my parade. I just want to have some fun with my chilling touch,

so I'm going to attack the fire elemental twice. First attack, 27. That hits. Second attack, 25. That also hits. Okay, good. Is that Gypsy? That's Funny Girl.

Funny Girl. So this is cold damage, so you're going to take your extra. First one is 13 points of damage. Okay. So 20. Yeah, we'll call it 20, sure. And then the next one is going to be 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, plus 5, 16 more points of cold damage. And then you know what she's going to do?

Yeah, because she's flying, so she'll just fly a five-foot step away. She's like, I've done my duty against that shitty fire alarm. Pembroke, you are up. How many hit points are you at, Pembroke? I'm at 20. Let the world know. That's not great. I'm at 20.

And what's your con? I'm an old man. You're an old man. My con is 10, so. Oh, boy. You are built for death. I am. Joe just started drooling.

I am. He ain't built for speed. He's built for comfort, baby. But you are flying, and you are a wizard. I am. Joe just started drooling. I am. He ain't built for speed. He's built for comfort, baby. But you are flying and you are a wizard. I am. I am going to use, I still have a bunch of magic missiles in the chamber so I'm going to fire off as a

standard action a magic missile at the closer one to us. Okay. And that'll be bad. 13 points of force damage. Cuts through and kills her. Yeah! One down. There we go.

One to go. Back to the grave spirit! And that was the one that was really hurting you guys the most. Those ice storms. That little bludgeon, it chips away. It chips away your stones. Yeah, the bludgeoning was getting me. Does that dissipate any of the storms? Not that it really matters because we're kind of stuck here.

I'm pretty sure those are constant. It's physical stuff that's made. Right, because it's on the stone. It's centered there. It's the duration of the spell, so that just keeps going. Got it, got it. And then what else, Pams? And then he is going to

fly back. He's going to stay right where he is. He's going to stay right where he is. He is going to stay right where he is. Stay right where he is. It's a new round. Dalgrith, you are up. What are you going to do? He is going to move to the next one. Once again, I'll sort of just put his head down

and walk into the strength of the buffeting winds 10 feet, which is a full complement of his movement. Yep, just sneaking up against the edge of the screen. To get to this woman and bring his love in his hand. It's just glowing blue and white. It's now incorporeal. It's like it's not there, but he can feel it. I mean, if you read the description of Ghost Touch,

it is both corporeal and incorporeal at the same time. Wow. The subtle knife. Yeah, so he can feel it,al and incorporeal at the same time. The subtle knife! Yeah. So you can feel it, but you can see through it at the same time. And he's just like, go to rest with your sister. Leave us be to do what needs to be done.

And he'll miss. I thought about keeping Brady's love for myself. Oh, boy. And then I was like, no, I'll just pass it off to Dogriff, because he's better combat. Oh, boy. And then I was like, no, I'll just pass it off to Dalgryth because he's better combat. Oh, I am better combat. I just roll like, garbage! This is Joe's fault, not Dalgryth's fault.

The AC is pretty high. I mean, even Baron is struggling this time around, and it is Baron's turn. That was a natural seven. I just see Baron last time, like, picking up the gun, quickly unlocking it, and then just the barrel, like, locking down like a double-barreled shotgun and just clearing what was in there.

Yeah. Taking a quick pull from the cigarillo, throwing it into the wind. There's no time! Reloading it as a free action. The cigarillo hits Pembroke three points a day. Three points, he's dead. And then he looks at Pembroke and says, I told you smoking would kill you. And then he does a full-round attack action against the remaining Yuki Onna.

First attack is... God, it's a 25 to hit. There you go. Oh, my adjusted 21. That is a miss. Fudge. Next attack, natural 20. Are you kidding me?

Are you kidding me? Is that number four today alone? At least. Not even counting the reflex saves and all this other shit. Cancel that. Yeah, roll. 50 or 20. Just 20%.

35. Yeah. That's no good. That's a miss. Oh, right. I had to be 50 or higher. Yes. I thought you said 20%.

You said 20%. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm thinking first. Yeah, no, you're good. It's not a gaze. It's not a gaze. There's so many percentages going on. Yeah, you're good.

All right, so that's 24 points of damage halved. 12 points of damage. Okay, okay. Final attack. Let's... Chip, chip it away. Let's not... Oh, okay.

So that is a... Oh, close to 11. 24. That's a miss. Oh, damn. 13 on the die. It's a miss. That's a miss.

Woo! Not kidding me. 13 is still an amazing round. Doing any damage die. It's tough. Woo! Not using those 13. It is still an amazing round. Doing any damage to these creatures is amazing. Thank you. Thank you. That means a lot coming from Dalgrith. I'm serious.

Hey, Raza. You're up. Raza is... We need you. Well, first of all, the fire elemental... Yes, please. ...is going to fly up and... Does he have a name?

Downy. Downy.y, okay Okay The fabric softener For the softest whites you've ever worn Your socks are delicious The softest fire you need It's going to fly up and kind of box in the Yuki Ono Okay, you provoke

No one does that Oh, snap I saw you move What? And it is a natty 18 for a 30 That hits Why is it provoke? Because you moved from a threatened square to a You can't for a 30. That hits. Why is it provoked? Because you moved from a threatened square.

You can't take a five-foot step in this. It's flying, but it still moved past her. Six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, plus five since it's half, so 16 damage. Okay. Did I get him? Nope. Did I get Daddy? So that's 24, or...

No, I added the ball to the cold. I probably shouldn't, because it makes it confusing. Still kicking. Still kicking. Ferrazza is going to reach up and grab Pembroke's ankle, because Pembroke is flying, right? Yeah, it's floating up there. Grab Pembroke's ankle and cast Cure Serious Wounds on him.

Oh, thank you. Oh, my God. Oh, that's awesome. You got a friend in me. Speaking of which, that love connection, too. Once you guys touch skin, there's something there. 24 points of healing. Thank you.

What's there is 24 points of healing. That's right. And then Feraza. I love you. There, I've said it. There. That was all a ruse. I explained.

I shouted from the mountaintops. Lover. Feraza. That's all. I explained. I shouted from the mountaintops. La verasa. That's all. I remember that. That was great. It was so good. It's her turn. She's going to do an ice storm.

She will roll the cast defensively. It makes it automatically. Quick question. Unlimited ice storms. This is their thing? Nope. This is the other one. They each have X amount of ice storms per day.

And I have been keeping track. So this one is going to cast an ice storm, which will be... This corridor is very stormy. And they're stacking on each other with these radiuses, which on the map looks like a nightmare Doppler scenario that Al Roker would be thrilled about. It doesn't look good. You all take 8, 9, 10, 11 points of bludge.

One point of bludge. And then I think even the fire elemental will be caught in the 10 points of cold, which will then be 15 points of cold. The elemental step. Yay! I never get to kill those elementals. Downy. You did it.

You did it. We hardly knew you. Mission accomplished. Wow, this is ugly. This is very difficult terrain. This is a gross combat, dude. It is downgrade. You know what it is? It's just like chipping away at resources, this is ugly. This is very difficult terrain. This is a gross combat, dude. It is Dalgrey. You know what it is? It's just like chipping away at resources, chipping away

at spells. Dalgrey, you are up. Dalgrey, you're due, man. Pembroke's up. I'm sorry. Pembroke, you are up. Pembroke, once again, he is very limited to what he can do. He's going to fire off another magic missile. Yeah, this is great. Magic missile's the best

possible thing. It is. 16 points of force damage. Everyone should have magic missile. Okay. Any movement? And he's going to stay where he is. Dalgrath. Come on, man. Dalgrath.

You're due. You're due. Yeah, I mean, you've got to picture this. Dalgrath. You're due. You're due. You can do a four-hand attack. Yeah, I mean, you've got to picture this. Dalgrath is right in the shadow of this creature. His allies are all 15 or so, 20 feet behind him. Up in the face of this woman, he holds this incorporeal dagger, trying to put her out. I'd be angry, too.

I understand. But you and me, you must go to rest. Leave us be! And he stabs with a 26! That is a hit, but you gotta roll against Blur. 20% mischance. Even Melee? Especially Melee. 98.

That really hits. Double damage. That's five points of damage. All goes through. Five. Double damage. Come on, Chowder. At least triple. That's five points of damage. All goes through. Five points of damage. All goes through. And then he will do a second stab. Okay.

Come on, Dogry. Come on, buddy. Come on, buddy. Fucking he misses. He misses. Shit! On the second attack. Can't quite finish it. Baron, you he misses. He misses. Shit! On the second attack. Can't quite finish it.

Baron, you're up. Baron just has like, his beard is just like a white beard. He looks like a weird fucking Santa Claus now. Yeah, just covered in this stuff. It's freezing cold in here. He's glad he's got the hat from Roy the Hat Maker, and he's going to try to make him proud. The Defender of Skelp meets the Sheriff of True Now.

Twelve on the die. That is a total of 28 minus 4. 24. That's a miss. That's a miss. And second attack. Grant is human. He's human.

Missed. Final attack. Miss. Oh, no. Faraza. Faraza will call down another lightning bolt. Okay. Lightning bolt.

Roll reflex it. She calls down a lightning bolt. All right. Lightning bolt. Lightning bolt. That is going to be a 22. You pass. Yeah.

So you take three points of damage. Three points total. He's like the Earthbound. He did all the math. He did all the math. I did all the math. I appreciate that. It is the Yukiona's turn, and she is going to activate her gaze effect on all of you. Come on.

Why don't you just... Why don't you go... Why don't you go to rest? Leave us be. She's messed up, man. Pembroke, do you want to avert your eyes? My flow is corrupted. I am going to avert my eyes again.

All right, 50% chance that you don't have to roll the save. No. No. God. Roll a will save. Oh, boy. This is my best save. All right.

25. You are all right. You can act as normal. Excellent. Is it my turn? Yes, it is Okay I Same thing again

So I can listen to my friend Of wide renown Die Go back to the grave 21 points of force damage Oh wow And the Yuki Onna is dead Yes

Yeah And we'll see you next week Nice job That was fun That was a lot of fun That was our combat and we'll see you next week nice job that was fun that was a lot of fun that was our combat where no one did any damage wow that was the most fun I've had doing nothing

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