The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 196 - Just Druid

Episode Date: February 26, 2019

With the yuki-onnas defeated, the party regroups before delving deeper into the mysterious tunnel. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the... Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast, the heroes escape to Skelth to rest and recover. I think we may need to regroup. I don't know how the rest of you are feeling, but I myself am rather burned and damaged. And grapple with the true horror they've encountered. I hadn't seen any weapons as dangerous as this, nor a person as dangerous as I am, till I came to Skirgard. Till I heard tell of the evil that emanates from Skirkata. But what they encounter when they return. There's no one else that's gonna go up to that mountain
Starting point is 00:00:32 and take care of that threat that's left to us. There's no question about that. Might be worse than anything they could possibly imagine. The great evil is here and dying might not be the worst thing that could happen to us. The adventure continues. I suspect it will be easier if I do not return.
Starting point is 00:00:49 Tell the others I go off to serve a higher purpose. Now. What is going on, everybody? It's your old buddy, Troy, and... Your good pal, Joe! You son of a a gun what are you doing in my intro i'm at work la vallee yeah i'll have you know yeah i'm just coming in to do an intro then i gotta go uh sign deals yep i'll be here for eight hours while troy is not it seems to be the pace so far i gotta hit the beach man gotta keep my tan on for glass cannon lives you think this glow is natural speaking of which we are packing right now we're doing this a little early this is in advance we're
Starting point is 00:01:49 packing for dallas i am putting merch into suitcases we are flying out in two days this is crazy man this is uh yeah people are listening to this and glass cannon live dallas has already happened i know but we're just packing for it we we are we're just getting ready to go we i'm assuming it was a great show i imagine that that panties were thrown, and it was mostly Matthew throwing his at us, which is weird that he did that during a live show. But that's okay. Just from like two feet away, right in your face. Right in my eye.
Starting point is 00:02:19 No, we are very excited because this has been a wild week here for the Glass Cannon Network. Where do we start? We hit the Glass Cannon Network. Where do we start? We hit the 35K goal. Joe, you are going to be running the Emerald Spire Super Dungeon as a podcast. So excited, buddy. I brought something to show you. What is that?
Starting point is 00:02:36 Oh, dude. I remember when we got these, I'm like, well, we'll never have to use these. Yep, I just dropped the entire set of every map of every level of the of the emerald spire holy shit it is so gorgeous i gotta open it up i gotta get the creases out we're gonna be using these very soon buddy so we're not gonna use fantasy grounds or world 20 you think we're gonna use actual ponds and maps that's my plan right now i want to get back to the old so it is an old school super dungeon i want to play at old school so we'll see how it works i like it maybe we can hire someone just to move us around the map why not we're at 35 000 all right so we're now hiring for so no no i'm not gonna put that out there uh so we hit the 35k goal and we also announced the 40k goal yes very excited about
Starting point is 00:03:15 this is an old school thing for us when we started the twitch it was just you and i playing dark souls three just me and you hanging out in your apartment it's really all it was that's really what it was we didn't have video it was just our voices just hanging out in your apartment. It's really all it was. That's really what it was. We didn't even have video. It was just our voices just hanging out, goofing off, talking about games, talking about life, and also playing Dark Souls 3. I haven't been in your apartment in 18 months. Right, and that's by my wife's choice. She said
Starting point is 00:03:35 keep that filthy bearded man out of our home. How dare you? Now that we have a child. Don't let him touch our son. Don't let him touch our son. No, but I mean, we're excited to do this for a million reasons one i guess we should say that the goal the forty thousand dollar goal is to bring back the twitches where you and i just get to hang out play video game uh rag on each other and hang out with the nash hang out with the chat that's really what it's about this
Starting point is 00:03:59 isn't just like a video game stream this is a chance for us to connect with the niche on a more personal, off-the-cuff, unedited level. And that's something we don't get to do anymore. Yeah, we haven't done it for many, many months. So I'm so excited at the prospect of bringing that back. It's not about, you know, let's show you how good we are at video games. It's about having conversations with people in the chat while we're playing games
Starting point is 00:04:23 about things that are happening in the nation. We can talk about GM stuff. We can talk about GM stuff. We can talk about gaming stuff. It's really a chance for us to just connect in a new and exciting way. Absolutely. Couldn't agree more. I mean, we do get some of it with the awesomeness of our after party hangouts at the live shows. And so there is that.
Starting point is 00:04:39 But it's just so quick and hurried. And it's really fun. But you don't get that kind of regular uh seeing the same people over and over again over the course of the year and and answering questions and talking and getting feedback live in person and it's just i'm very excited at the prospect yeah and you know skid and grant have been keeping it going on friday nights which is great so they get that but it's going to be nice for us to be able to build that opportunity out here in the studio so that we'll all be
Starting point is 00:05:05 able to twitch from the studio. Oh, yeah. And not just us either. Yeah. Special guest. Special guest action. Oh, man. I can't wait for Matthew Capitacazza's Super Mario Brothers Twitch.
Starting point is 00:05:15 Live from the studio. Sorry, Matthew. You can't go to that play tonight. Need you to twitch Super Mario Brothers tonight. So we had that. And then, of course, the huge announcement. The big one. We're doing not one, but two live shows in Indianapolis during Gen Con.
Starting point is 00:05:31 I mean, it's just amazing to say, like, yeah, I'm playing two nights in Indianapolis in August. You know, two nights. We're doing the hi-fi. I mean, this was a big thing for us when we were looking at doing this, because I knew I wanted us to play Gen Con. I knew I want us to play a cool rock club and then it came up uh our our agent our amazing agent kevin castor from paradigm was like would you guys want to do two shows and i think i just vomited immediately like no no there's no way we can because the show i can't prepare properly because i don't know what happens in that first show so i I was like, you know what? Fuck it. Let's do it.
Starting point is 00:06:05 Let's do that first show. And then I'm just going to furiously write the next day and we'll do a second show. Oh, yeah. You will not be a Gen Con the next day. You will not be outside of the hotel room. I don't think I'll be at Sun King Brewery. Most likely just crushing, drinking and writing, just drinking a couple light beers and writing the Saturday show.
Starting point is 00:06:23 Quote unquote, light light beers you're talking about you know eight percenters couple of seven or eight percenters just to get in the zone writing that saturday show but i mean we're really excited this is a huge opportunity for us because if you've never been to gen con or if you have been to gen con this is a big big deal in the gaming industry so for us to do two live shows there it just allows us to put so many more eyes yeah on the network yeah and as it is technically it's not it's not connected to or related to gen con you don't have to have a gen con badge to go to this event or to sign up for for uh tickets for this but it
Starting point is 00:06:55 is through you correct me if i'm wrong here but it isn't the promoter that booked the show a promoter that books all kinds of gen con shows i'm surrounding area. Yeah, they book all the shows for the Gen Con. Exactly. And these are people who are like, well, let's see how this does, and then we'll be talking about next year. So it's already planting the seeds for bigger and better stuff down the line at Gen Con, which is something that has been on our radar for years. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:19 To be able to do two live shows during that weekend with gamers from all around the world who may not know who the Glass Cannon Network is. To have that buzz going on that weekend, this is going to hopefully mean bigger and better things as we continue to grow. Yes. But in the meantime, we've got to continue this march to two hondo, Joey! Oh, the march! Let's do it!
Starting point is 00:07:38 I am so excited. But I do, I have to get back to work. So let's get this, let's get this show on the road. I want those papers on my desk by noon! Here's episode 196, everybody. I like to think of us as a sports team. I know. I feel like that's what I think about going in.
Starting point is 00:08:00 Like we're in the locker room getting ready for the big game. And we play a big game every week one game a week you only have like one metaphor don't you you can only conceive of things one way have i used this metaphor before no just i i feel like your whole ethos is centered around like a sports team i don't have an ethos i go out of my way not to have an ethos i don't believe in them that Not to have an ethos I don't believe in him That's That's an ethos
Starting point is 00:08:29 Damn it Get out of my Gotcha Get out of my locker room Get out of my locker room Well Why don't you throw a chair Throw a chair
Starting point is 00:08:38 Like you did earlier Throw a chair If you're a sports team I did throw a chair yesterday I know We saw it We saw the video You videoed that?
Starting point is 00:08:45 Yep. Oh, yeah. I got pretty upset. Tell the fans what happened, Troy. Well, here's the thing. I was sitting in it, and it collapsed. And the thing is, I'm pretty rough on two things, chairs and shoes. I'm very rough on shoes.
Starting point is 00:09:01 Yeah, your shoes are always like out of whack. I don't know what it is. Give me a brand new pair of shoes that look like hobo shoes. Yeah, your shoes are always like out of whack. I don't know what it is. You give me a brand new pair of shoes. They look like hobo shoes in a week. Walking around on strings. But I was sitting in this chair, and I'm always moving in the chair, and the chair just fucking collapsed. And I hit the ground so hard.
Starting point is 00:09:17 And our ground here, it's not very soft. It's not very forgiving. It's concrete. I got so mad, I stood up, and I threw that chair halfway across this room. It's on video. I had no idea you videoed that delete that video nope i was it's it was at a weird angle when i watched i was like i looked around the room for like broken more broken things i was like where did he throw it it did hit the staircase and the wall pretty hard it didn't um the good news is i put in some really lucrative bets on you to break the chair.
Starting point is 00:09:45 Everyone had the money on me because of my size. Troy is always the low-key favorite for breaking chairs. He's broken more furniture than anyone at this table. I still mourn my Denver Broncos deck chair that you came over and shattered somehow. I don't even know how it happened. One guested in Rise of the Ruined Lords. And shattered your favorite chair and then left. You and Joe came over. You were really drunk.
Starting point is 00:10:07 Yep. And he was playing a... We had a handle of Sky Vodka in between them. Yeah. Sharing it like two hobos. Just passing it. Yep. And you sat in the chair and you didn't even do anything.
Starting point is 00:10:17 And it just collapsed. And then we went to your home in Cape Cod and I broke a chair there, too. You broke a table. A table, yes. I'm just a rough guy. I don't know why. You nearly broke me. It's probably because you're on a sports team.
Starting point is 00:10:30 That's the thing. Going back to that metaphor. Just FYI. Going back to my ethos. We like to listen to music before we play, because we're getting pumped up in the locker room before tip-off. But we don't listen to normal like, normal hype of songs. We listen to the Hill Street Blues theme song.
Starting point is 00:10:49 That's right. That's the last thing we listen to. Every time. It's really a Matthew and me thing, but it just makes us giggle and really gets us in the light mood we need to be in. Just hear those few piano chords. It really puts you there. We need that drop, be we need to look up
Starting point is 00:11:05 how long are we allowed to play it before we start getting seasoned assists it gets you pumped though and then when the saxophone comes out yeah it's great listen to this reminds me dac prescott the current quarterback of the cowboys we'll see how he does next year never heard of love him anyway he gets pumped up before game games by listening to the albums of train including drops of jupiter and hey soul sister which is probably why we have it one more than one play off game that'll do it yeah does it just make him angry he's just like fuck this music and get really like enraged and that fuels him like i have no idea it makes no sense i would rather listen to sounds of a train. Yeah. You can occasionally.
Starting point is 00:11:46 That would get me way more pumped up. Yep. I would rather listen to skid making sounds of a train. That'd be fun. I'll do it whenever. Hey, that's at another Patreon tier. That's true. My wife said the other day, she was like, I think Archer's going to grow up really liking trains.
Starting point is 00:12:04 I was like, where are you Coming up with this like because of Because of his father's like overwhelming Love of trains you know you're always In that back room with the model Trains She's like I don't know why I Thought that Uh oh honey trains
Starting point is 00:12:20 Pulling out of the station His father loved trains And his father's father loved trains Maybe it's because of your intense OCD She was like trains, times tables Archer Trains My sister bought me for Christmas
Starting point is 00:12:34 A train set to like put around the Christmas tree Because I had kids She was like you should build this And have your kids And it was the cheapest thing on earth And when I went to put it together You could not keep a train on the track and connect it to another train. To another car.
Starting point is 00:12:50 It wasn't an option. The curvature was off. Yeah, as soon as you tried to touch it to another car, they both just fell off every time. And as soon as you started running, they would both just fall off every time. And eventually it just devolved into me flipping out and my wife being like you need to just put this away it's christmas i was furious i can't picture that i know right imagine imagine throw the train across the room uh i did i did i broke one of the cars the wheels fell right up i was like that's what you get well if archie ever does get into trains you should know that richard berger only uses one
Starting point is 00:13:23 of his parking spaces in his garage because he has a model town and train set in retirement. Really? That's right. He also uses the garage to cook salmon in a George Foreman grill because he doesn't like how salmon smells in the kitchen. I don't blame him. Yeah, he's a weird guy. It's a stinky fish. Speaking of stinky fish, I don't have a transition.
Starting point is 00:13:42 I was going to say, where's that going? Stinky Fish. I don't have a transition. I was going to say, where's that going? But I did bring up a gif here of the Yuki Ono from the video game Nioh. This has nothing to do with Stinky Fish. But look at this. How cool does that look?
Starting point is 00:13:54 There's some glare. This is one of the bosses in the Nioh. And it's great. When I saw it, I was like, oh, my God, a Yuki Ono. We did this in Jade Region. And now we did it here. But this is much more stylized. I think these women that you fought were more like lost souls.
Starting point is 00:14:13 Forlorn. Yes. Sad. A deep, deep sadness. And now you killed them. Well done. Well, they were dead already. Well, they were undead. They were undead.
Starting point is 00:14:23 Incorporeal. Well, they were undead. They were undead in corporeal. And now you are in this trench, this drainage tunnel that you discovered has some sort of embalming fluid running towards the direction you entered. Dalgrith, you stealthed up right before this fight to like a corner, and that's where you heard the wailing, or maybe you backed away and then heard the wailing,
Starting point is 00:14:51 but the fight took place in like the main area. Lying before you is this turn in the tunnel heading south. in the tunnel, heading south. Dalgraith is going to... He's kind of farthest up of the crew right now. He was fighting the woman when... I think it was Pembroke landed the killing blow, right? With a magic missile, I'm pretty sure. Right by his head.
Starting point is 00:15:22 A bottle cap-worthy magic missile. I mean, I gave Skid a bag of bottle caps after the episode. One for each. One for each missile. Now wait, do the winds and the snows and all that stuff dissipate? Were they just surrounding them?
Starting point is 00:15:35 They do. Okay. I just deleted Feyraza. Sorry, Feyraza. Oh my God! Oh no! Feyraza! What has happened to her?
Starting point is 00:15:42 Terrible foreshadowing. What's happened to Veraza? The wind's dissipating. Veraza's gone. No! I loved her! I never got to tell her! My love! My sweet Osirian princess! I'm embarrassed for all of you.
Starting point is 00:16:03 Greatest love story ever told. That's what it means. Gone with the way. The greatest love story ever told. That's what it means. Gone with the wind. You really thought that was going to land. I thought it was pretty good. I thought it was pretty good. I blew it.
Starting point is 00:16:17 Someone's laughing. Someone's laughing at home, right? Right? Email in if you're laughing. Colin. Tweet at us if you're laughing. If you were laughing just then. Please, please tell me if you're laughing colin tweet out if you were laughing just then please please tell me if you laughed at that send the time code
Starting point is 00:16:30 makes me know you care literally every time we get together to record i want to play that uh jim carrey as conan o'brien sketch i can't hear the laughter Yeah so What does your dumb character think So once this storm dies down Now the spirits they just Disappear right and there's just nothing there Yeah He's just going to turn around
Starting point is 00:16:58 Walk slowly back Just a little shaken by the whole encounter His inability to really Do anything to these creatures, and his, honestly, his sadness at the situation, because he remembered encountering one of these before in another AP on the Crown of the World, and has been, was shooken by the experience.
Starting point is 00:17:19 So you see, he's like, he's kind of wide-eyed and a little shaken, and he walks back to Feyraza and just sort of hands the blade back. And he's like, thank you. Sorry I couldn't have been more helpful with it. And he hands the dagger back over to you. Feyraza takes it. You are very welcome. You'd think we'd be better prepared for incorporeal creatures by now.
Starting point is 00:17:45 I think we would, being in a tomb and all that. It would have been nice to have more of these. Well, I did a little bit of good work, I think. You were very helpful. Pembroke, we couldn't have done it without you. No, no, I don't need you. And in all honesty, you put their spirits to rest, and I thank you for that. Really, Pembroke, you put Dalgrith to shame.
Starting point is 00:18:06 Oh, no, please, you're making me blush. Of course you did. No, no. You did, sir. I wouldn't hear of it a legend like Dalgrith. No. Please. My name doesn't deserve to be mentioned the same breath as Dalgrith's.
Starting point is 00:18:19 You'll find your name is mentioned quite often when we leave this place. My time is long past, but I thank you all the same. Most generous. Pembroke, I thought I was to understand that you were quite powerful in your day. Potent, even. No one remembers the name Pembroke the Potent. I don't use it anymore. But I appreciate the thought.
Starting point is 00:18:42 It brings an old man's heart such delight To think that the young still remember him I like to hear tales of that time I like a good tale around the campfire, you know Well, perhaps not here He looks down the corridor No, certainly not I think we may need to regroup
Starting point is 00:19:02 I don't know how the rest of you are feeling But I myself am rather burned and damaged. My spells are spent. I'm pretty weak in myself, and I think, as I said, I'm ready for a bite to eat. A nip of whiskey and maybe a story by the campfire of the old days of Pembroke the Potent. What do you say, Baron? I've learned to rely on the strength of my companions for a while, and I can tell when they've spent all their spells.
Starting point is 00:19:28 Let's go. Have a nip of whiskey, like you said. Aye. Okay, warm you up. This tunnel's a bit too cold, and we've just been through a blizzard underground. Not exactly my idea of a good time. No, no.
Starting point is 00:19:40 Yes, we should get moving. Where to? Well, back to the temple, or to Skelter, or... Well, does our oyster, as it were... How about we go to Skelter? I think it's going to be much easier to find a warm bit of brown liquor there, wouldn't you say so? As opposed to the temple. Well, yes, and I must say,
Starting point is 00:20:10 an actual bed would do my old bones a bit of good. Give me a warm bed in the city. Let's take a quick teleport back. Let's do it. Right, gather together, please, please. And he waves them all together and everyone takes hands and let's roll. and and let's roll
Starting point is 00:20:28 oh my god what is it four four is okay four is okay so boom we apparate uhate in room 15 at the end. Boom, and you're back. Pembroke, could you maybe examine another location? Well, it's not something that always puts us in... I spent the most time here. Sorry, sir. No, please, put your towel on. We'll be going.
Starting point is 00:20:59 Ma'am? Ma'am? Oh, I didn't see you there. Sorry, ma'am. I'm sorry, ma'am. You don't want to teleport or mishap. It's terrible. We had to invade your privacy, but it was for the best.
Starting point is 00:21:08 It's for the future of the world. No, the management told us this could happen. It's been happening a lot lately. We got a discounted rate. I saw it on the Yelp review. Perhaps Dalgreath will sign a few things for you. Oh, yes, perhaps you recognize Dalgreath Deathbringer. No, you never heard of Dalgrief Deathbringer
Starting point is 00:21:25 Sing them a song, Dalgrief Have you? No Oh, I see You're calling the police Well Who does me out of your way then? That's a no on the song
Starting point is 00:21:35 Yes, no on the... Right, alright No, no, no, we're leaving Get me a ride Alright, I'll send you underpants We gotta go Please don't That's my only care All right, I'll send you underpants. Please don't. That's my only care.
Starting point is 00:21:53 We bustle out into the hallway as they slam the door behind us. You hear lock, lock, lock, lock, lock, lock. Can we get a bite to eat? I think Dog Wraith is definitely interested in some comfort. Surroundings of some warmth and comfort. I would love that. I would like a bit of perhaps a hospital first, because I am sort of barely injured. Very badly injured.
Starting point is 00:22:14 Thanks to the magic of Firaza here, I barely took a scratch. I have to thank you. It was quite impressive. The resist cold you had there, and he brings back his coat a little bit. And you see the vials that are like sitting on his belt pouch. And he's just like, you saved me one of these there. And much more powerful than what I carry, I got to say. So thank you very much.
Starting point is 00:22:37 Pleasure to be of service. Dalgrith Deathbringer. What is your actual last name? The Thunderfoot. Dalgrith Thunderfoot. That's my actual last name? It's Underfoot. Dargreeth Underfoot. That's my birth name. That's the birth name. Aye. Call me what you like, though. When did you become the Deathbringer?
Starting point is 00:22:53 Oh, many years. Many, many years. It was only, I'd say, maybe eight or so years ago I was given the name by a king in Ustalav, actually. A rather obnoxious chap who had a whole court simpering after him, but you know, it's the way
Starting point is 00:23:09 of life down there. He called me the Deathbringer. I'm sure it was just to impress his friends and whatnot, but it seemed to take. It was after you felled the great dragon of Danny Bro. Yes.
Starting point is 00:23:25 Well, it was the undead dragon of Danny Bro. Yes, yes. Well, it was the undead dragon of Danny Bro. Ah, yes, no, yes. You forget. Yes, of course. But just small detail there, small detail. But yes, it's actually the same place. I remember it from the back of your rookie card. They mention it.
Starting point is 00:23:40 It's that first year. Career highlights. Yes, career highlights, yes. I just ask because, you know, there are some lesser adventurers that perhaps would name themselves something like Death Ringer. Oh, no, no, no. Oh, no. No one of your own. No, no, no, no.
Starting point is 00:23:56 Self-appellations is not an honest thing. Sense motive. 23. No, it's a true story. It's a true story, guys. It's a true story. It's a true story. It's a true made-up story. It's a true story it's a true story guys it's a true it's true story true made up story it's less cool when you realize it's made up the whole game the entire game you really should let other people call you that it's like kobe bryant says call me black mamba well that's stuck kevin durant actually wanted
Starting point is 00:24:23 to be known as like the preacher or something. He gave himself a terrible nickname. People want to call him Slim Reaper, and he wanted to be called the servant. No one wanted to call him the servant. Yeah. I'm like, yeah. No. So, yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:36 Let's get some food. We'll assume healing. And then the hospital. Yeah. Let's get some food and then drop me off at the ER. The ER. Do you want to eat hospital food? Just dropping off.
Starting point is 00:24:46 Nothing's better than hospital food. No, because you always forget. It's just like, oh, right, I took 70 points of damage. I totally forgot. Like, we had this whole conversation and food, and I totally forgot. All right, so you go down to the local inn? Yeah. Well, you're in the inn, but you go down to the bar, the hotel bar.
Starting point is 00:25:03 Exactly. And get a bite to eat. Is there anything you need to do there, or are you just getting a bite? No, nothing of consequence. Getting a bite, I think Dalgrith just wants to share a whiskey with Baron. He wants to buy Baron a whiskey. And, you know, if Pembroke's there, if Firas is there, if they are interested in imbibing, he would certainly buy for them as well.
Starting point is 00:25:21 You know, he's not looking to get blind drunk or anything, but just... You're marking that on your sheet? Something to... Please remove 17 gold from your sheet. That is the most overpriced whiskey. Those are incredibly expensive. You don't know what the price is in this hotel bar. They're marked up.
Starting point is 00:25:35 It's like $1,700. It's an airport tavern? Marks up for everyone with expense accounts. Well, Dowgate's got expensive tastes. Well, no, they're actually charging more because they know he's famous. They're up in the ante. This guy can afford it. Plus, no, they're actually charging more because they know he's famous. Yeah. They're up in the ante. This guy can afford it.
Starting point is 00:25:47 Yeah. Plus, you gave a big tip to show off. That's what I was going to say, is the 17 gold comes from all the tips. Right. You got like Louis Trez. We get four Louis Trez. What did we say the relative worth of one gold piece was? It's about $100.
Starting point is 00:25:58 Yeah. I mean, that's what it was like when I back in the day. So a bar tab of $1,700 for four people. You know what? That's like bottle service. What would you just do after a battle like that? He's like, we'll take this table here in the back and just keep the bottles coming. I think 17 Gold was pretty accurate.
Starting point is 00:26:14 Not too bad. So that's what they also call you, Dalgreath Bottle Service. Always wondered. Never tried to put it together as soon as Dalgert ordered it you see all these like hussied up women and like tight skirts walking over to him tight bodices sitting on his lap he's like oh I couldn't
Starting point is 00:26:37 please please I'm trying to have a drink with my friend okay okay please I'm trying I am trying to. Okay. Roy the hat maker is suddenly sitting with us. Hi, fellas. All right. So you guys recharge your batteries
Starting point is 00:26:54 there. You drop Pembroke off at the ER. He gets stitched up. And you guys get a room for the night. And then it's back to business tomorrow. You're going to wait through the day and go at night. I mean, in the tomb, it's always night. So what do you want to do? Farron's going to slip out at night and buy. He's going to wait through the day and go at night. I mean, in the tomb, it's always night. So what do you want to do? Farron's going to slip out at night and buy.
Starting point is 00:27:08 He's going to mark this on his sheet for real. Okay. Two more rounds of bottle service. No. Several scrolls. No. No. Just to be clear.
Starting point is 00:27:15 We have burned through our per diems. Several scrolls. This isn't a Glass Cannon live tour night. Everybody's pointing fingers at each other. Who ordered what? What bottle did you get? You might have an encounter the next day.
Starting point is 00:27:30 I just let everyone know at the live events to put it on Troy LaValle's card. Is that why? I need receipts. Show me receipts. I'm going to buy
Starting point is 00:27:37 several scrolls of Ghostbane Dirge, which I can catch. Several? Why don't we just buy some Ghostbane weapons? I don't think you want Ghostbane Dirge scrolls.
Starting point is 00:27:44 I don't think you want to spend money on that. Would it be better to just have a Ghostbane weapons? I don't think you want Ghostbane dirge scrolls. I don't think you want to spend money on that. Wouldn't it be better to just have a Ghostbane sword? I could be wrong, but I think the spell is cast on an incorporeal creature to make them hittable, and it is a save or suck spell. So they get a will save, and it's like DC 11 or 12 or something for a scroll. Yeah, will negates. Yeah, and then nothing happens. So I don't... It's not like you get to cast it for a scroll. Yeah, well, it will negate. Yeah, and then nothing happens. So I don't...
Starting point is 00:28:05 It's not like you get to cast it on a weapon and make it Ghostbane. And it's going to be... But can't you buy like a Ghosttouch short sword or something? Yeah, I'm sure you can. It'd be like 2,300 gold. I don't know if we have that lying around. Yeah. We have about 2,300 gold, but...
Starting point is 00:28:23 If it was up to me, Baron, I'm a few whiskeys in, but I'll... If it was up to me, Baron, I'm a few whiskeys in, but I'll say if it was up to me, we'd be saving that money in case anything happened to that weapon of yours. I ain't never seen anything like that in all my time. In all my travels, I've never seen a weapon so deadly as that. Mixing magic with the power of a cannon. It's quite a frightful thing to behold. And I don't know that should something bad happen to it, we wouldn't want to have the funs around to take care of it. Should the worst happen.
Starting point is 00:28:54 I hadn't seen any weapons as dangerous as this, nor a person as dangerous as I am. Till I came to Skirgard. Till I heard tell of the evil that emanates from Skirkopla. I'll tell you one thing I've enjoyed. This voodoo clucko you've given me tonight. And the gray goose. And the $40 orange juice that came with it. But it makes me feel uneasy to be relaxing when that's still up there on that mountain over yonder.
Starting point is 00:29:26 Oh, you're thinking about it all wrong. There's no one else that's going to go up to that mountain and take care of that threat. That's left to us. There's no question about that. And we can't take too much time, I give you that as well. But if we can't remember what we're fighting for, if we can't remember that it's the peace and quiet and the warmth, the reasons why we're doing it,
Starting point is 00:29:49 then all will fall apart. We can't spend the days freezing cold and out of our wits, out of our minds because we can't, you know, got to leave the altitude, get a good drink, warm up for a moment, get a good rest in a bed, revitalize ourselves and then go back to then go back to the hunt, as it were. We're doing the right thing.
Starting point is 00:30:09 Don't question yourself. Your aim was very good with them. And tortured spirits. You did a good job of putting them down, where I couldn't. I appreciate the help. And I think you've earned yourself a good rest and a spot of fun. Don't deny it to yourself. If I'm being honest, it has been a bit of pleasure, and just like the pleasure I had from this,
Starting point is 00:30:33 I had a great deal of pleasure seeing you leap on that giant's backpack there. Man, that was crazy. How did you do that? I've never seen nothing like that on the battlefield. Well, to me, there's no other way to fight these large and giant and huge creatures. You've got to get within their reach so they can't get to you, Baron. I mean, we've all gotten the combat training. We're dwarves. I mean, come on, man. I just want to geek out.
Starting point is 00:30:55 I'm looking over my shoulder hoping Pembroke's not looking at me in favor of us. They wouldn't get about it to dwarf. Pembroke is like staring daggers of jealousy. It's a dwarf. Pembroke is like staring daggers of jealousy. I got to tell you, though, I've never seen someone move like that on the battlefield. I got to say, the way you were on him, frankly, it was vexing. Nailed it.
Starting point is 00:31:16 Nailed it. It's all part of the training, Baron. You got to fight with the weapons that you're given. And if you have something that's only the length of your forearm, then you've got to get in close. But I find that it's more of an advantage with these large monsters, especially the ones that aren't so smart. You get inside and give them a good stab to the soft parts,
Starting point is 00:31:41 and they go down quite easy. I like it when they hit themselves in the face trying to get you on their neck. It made me laugh inside a little bit. I had to be stone cold on the outside but I loved it. Remember the one that tried to do the awesome blow to me? Oh yeah, of course. It was amazing. Let's try again. But he was dead before
Starting point is 00:31:57 he had the chance. You guys are having a grand old time. I love this. This idea of like sitting at the tavern to talk shit on the GM like indirectly. Remove another 17 gold from your sheet. I'm assuming you're like, one more round.
Starting point is 00:32:13 One more bowl. All right, so you guys party all night. Do you want to go back during the day tomorrow or during the night? Assuming you're all back to normal, you might need to burn healing. You know, I don't know what you're going to... I mean, need to burn healing i you know i don't know what you're gonna i mean dog wraith is barely down at all it was really remarkable like the the the
Starting point is 00:32:30 buffing spells from the um uh resist energy yeah the resist energy and the stone skin which i guess in retrospect would have been a good reason to go to the temple we're missing but we could also go to the temple and rest another day we could do it uh to get the stone skin but faraz's then resist energy it was just incredible dog wraith ended up down uh 14 hit points yeah and don't forget every day that you're you're goofing off you know you're you're you're letting them regroup you're letting knowledge float around that tomb um you probably don't have to worry so much about the camp rebuilding but like you know keep that in Yeah, we should go back in today, I think. Baron would want to. He wouldn't want them to rebuild.
Starting point is 00:33:08 He already saw this creature come back and kill his friend, Four Bears, so. Yeah, I think we would all have kind of an imperative to finish this as quickly as possible. Yeah, of course. possible you know yeah of course and and dog race opinion on the whole thing is to close on the queen as quickly as possible i don't know what what are you guys thinking in terms of like where where we go next is it i want to the haunted door is it the secret back entrance i mean i'd like to keep going down that hallway where we had had left. Where we left. The tunnel. The tunnel, yeah. I can tell you, Dalgrath, and he'll say this over a few drinks, he's definitely interested in seeing if the bodies of these women are there.
Starting point is 00:33:56 If there's any chance that they're frozen in the ice and can be found. He'd love to be able to give them rest from, you know, the torture of dying in the ice. Yeah. So exploring further down that way is definitely up his alley i've seen haunts before in this journey do you want me to roll a knowledge check to know how to deal with them like are we equipped if we go because we've heard about this haunt like i just want to make sure before we leave the town if we end up needing to go confront it and we can't get the name of the headless horse horseman whatever the dude do regard i forget his name i just want to know how to take care of whatever the do do regard i forget his name i just
Starting point is 00:34:25 want to know how to take care of it if we have to i don't roll i was gonna say roll a knowledge religion to see what you know about haunts if you have it uh dalgrath rolled a 20 14 from baron i mean i would imagine he's encountered haunts in his travels yeah so baron it's still uh i mean in the course of giant slayer you've probably been a part of two to three haunts. So it's still not, you know, something that you're super familiar with. But Dog Rates with a 20, maybe you've seen a couple more. I don't know if you've traveled with clerics before, but you know that if the clerics that you have traveled with, if they can see a haunt manifest before and get the jump on it positive energy uh tends
Starting point is 00:35:08 to damage haunts um but that's really kind of the only way to deliver it is through a channel yeah yeah uh not i mean can i say yeah i think that i you tell me if i'm wrong but i think dog if they were talking about it right it would be like've been counting a few of these in my time, and I think that the power of the divine, the burst of positive energy you get from a priest can truly put them to rest easily, but encountering haunts in the past gives you really no map to encountering haunts in the future. They're all different.
Starting point is 00:35:42 They all manifest in strange ways. And you would know that, like, obviously positive energy from a channel damages haunts or tends to damage haunts, but each individual haunt has its own, like, way of dispelling it, depending on what caused the haunt.
Starting point is 00:35:57 And a Kargrim told you, basically, what you would need to do. Do we need to give him the name of the Doolahan? Well, what is the name of the creature? I keep on messing it up. It's a Doolahan. Doolahan.
Starting point is 00:36:10 It's the name of the creature, but it's his name. It's giving him the name of the Doolahan? No, it's giving the Haunt the name of the Doolahan. Oh. I think, that's what I think, right? I think that we have to get the name from the Doolahan. Oh, shit. That's what I think, right? I think that we have to get the name from the Dullahead. Oh, shit. That's what I thought.
Starting point is 00:36:25 But is it we need to go to him with his name and that will weaken him? Yeah. Do we know that, Troy, one way or the other, or do we not know? Consecrate it and demand the decapitant lord remember his name. That's right. Oh, so I could get a consecration spell? You could get a consecration scroll you get a consecration i have i've been keeping hallow prepared
Starting point is 00:36:48 does that would that work i think it's consecrate it's an actual spell yeah i cast it in the i remember this yeah you did i cast yeah yeah so i'll pick up another scroll uh i'll subtract it from there
Starting point is 00:37:04 uh inquisitor level two. Yep, I can cast it. Cool. But right now you're thinking about heading back to the tunnel. Yes. Yeah. Okay. All right.
Starting point is 00:37:11 So do you want to just... Are we talking day or night? ASAP. ASAP. Day. Again, it's always night and day. First thing in the morning. And then before we...
Starting point is 00:37:22 First thing in the morning. Before we leave, Pembroke is going to cast getaway. Oh yeah. Uh, and he is in the night before, like while these guys are geeking out dwarvishly, um, I Pembroke is studying the bar, not, not to pass the bar, like as a lawyer, but he's studying the bar that they're in. So he's like going and says oh sorry could i get a closer look at that painting you've got hung up over there and like
Starting point is 00:37:49 going up like studying every aspect of the bar so that he can feel very familiar with it and now this lasts one hour per level so basically like you've got 12 hours from the time of casting it to get a free get out of jail card. Yeah, right. Basically. So that's, yeah, right before he casts Teleport to go back to the tomb, he's going to cast Getaway. Oh, I love it. Yeah, because you have to cast it at the location.
Starting point is 00:38:20 Yeah, you have to cast it at the location. And I'm sure you tell them all in order for it to work they all have to be within 30 feet of you and they have to choose to go with you. They can decide not to go. We'll probably do that. You never know.
Starting point is 00:38:38 Very, very cool. These high level spells we've just never even got into. I know. We never get that. Crazy stuff! Alright, so boom, you cast Getaway and These high-level spells we've just never even got into. I know. We never get that. There's some crazy stuff. All right. So, boom, you cast Getaway and D100 on the teleporter. All right.
Starting point is 00:38:52 Teleporter. 60. 60. Okay. You're all right. And you're right back in a very similar configuration, because I haven't moved you on the map, inside of this drainage tunnel about 40 or so feet away from the turn,
Starting point is 00:39:13 where instead of heading in a southwesterly direction, it starts heading due south. Dalgrith will take the lead. He'll once again try to stealth around the corner. He's going to stow the crossbow at this point and just, um, pull out one sword, one short sword. Okay. And we'll, uh, attempt a stealth around the corner. Okay.
Starting point is 00:39:36 To peek around and see if these creatures come back. Uh, that is a 34. 34. Um, nothing seems to stir whatsoever. Roll a perception check. 16. 16. Yeah, just the hallway is about 15 feet wide at its widest point, maybe 10 feet wide at its thinnest point.
Starting point is 00:40:03 And that's pretty much right where this tunnel, where you're starting to turn into the south. But you just see drifts of snow. Because the snow that was surrounding them was like a 400-foot oar, I think, or 200 feet. Wow. It choked this hallway as well. Oh, wow.
Starting point is 00:40:21 And now, what is he looking at if he looks 60 feet away down this tunnel? Just more tunnel. Okay, so it just keeps going. And there's a little drop-off there? Yeah, there's a little drop-off, but it's like two feet. All right, so he'll call everybody up to have their own look at it. Appears safe, just more tunnel here.
Starting point is 00:40:41 Come up and say, look, what you think? Should we climb down, or should I climb down and keep moving forward, or should we turn back from here? I'm happy to take the vanguard with you. But if you'd like to lead, I'll follow. Oh, I'd like to have you right next to me, right by my side. I'd especially like your gun right by my side. Let's see who can stealth the best, Dalgrith.
Starting point is 00:41:02 Let's have a little game, okay? Oh, good. I'll bet you five gold. I got you. I'll bet you bottle service. I'll bet you $3,400. Too rich for my blood. So, Baron, you're going to stealth up, too?
Starting point is 00:41:17 Yep. All right, roll stealthy. 26. Okay, so you get up right behind Dalgrith. Nothing seems to stir. Dalgrith, you have your eyes fixed on the tunnel as well. I think you feel pretty confident that both Pembroke and Ferraz can join you.
Starting point is 00:41:32 There doesn't seem to be anything in your vicinity. You guys see snowdrifts as well. Baron, roll a perception check. Not bad. Not bad at all. 34, 36. Okay. Okay.
Starting point is 00:41:45 So right about 30 feet Not bad. Not bad at all. 34, 36. Don't cut me. Okay. Oh, there you go. So right about 30 feet away to the left, you notice one of the snow drifts seems to have buried something in it. It's to your right, stage left, about 30 feet away. It looks like it's buried something large, maybe about five feet wide, but not very tall. Baron speaks in Dwarvish, which he believes Pembroke understands and thinks that no one in this cave will know. And he'll point out that there's a body there. You're just trying to exclude Faraz. I see.
Starting point is 00:42:20 That's cool. No, come on. Yep. Everyone in the party understands what me. You know what? Okay. Let's keep playing. He just on. Yep. Everyone in the party understands what me. You know what? Okay. Let's keep playing. He just wanted to make sure Ferrazza couldn't understand.
Starting point is 00:42:31 Actually, you know what? Ferrazza does speak Dwarven. All right. Hey. Look at your character. No bottle cap. I can understand you, you little asshole. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:41 One of the first things he said was like, don't tell Ferrazza. There's a body In the snow drift up there That was uncalled for Alright It's a surprise For her birthday You're a big asshole
Starting point is 00:42:52 Dog Wraith will He'll climb down I mean is it Five feet Is it ten feet This little I said two feet Oh only two feet
Starting point is 00:42:58 So he'll jump down Difficult terrain He'll sort of move over And toward this little Barren old snow drift Okay And can we see Any further down the hallway We're sixty feet Yeah it just Difficult terrain. He'll sort of move over and toward this little snow drift. Okay. And can we see any further down the hallway?
Starting point is 00:43:08 We're 60 feet. Yeah, it's just more tunnel as far as you can see. Okay. So a dog wraith comes up to this mound, I guess. Am I in the right spot on the map for the mound? Yeah. Okay, wait. Hold on. Sorry.
Starting point is 00:43:21 Before you do that, Pembroke casts Mirror Image on himself. Cast Getaway. Yeah, cast Getaway. I don't like the look of that drift. You're all too far away. Back in the bar. Bottles. Good luck, guys.
Starting point is 00:43:36 And the giants take over the world. And the giants take over the world. So he's got five images, and he's going to take out his wand of fly and cast flight on himself. Baron's going to detect alignment and magic on the drift before we start digging in. Detect alignment, nothing.
Starting point is 00:43:57 Detect magic, nothing. Okay. Let's dig in. Yeah, Dalgrath will start poking with the sword through the snow The pointy part? Yeah, the pointy part Just sort of easing it in Just easing it in there
Starting point is 00:44:11 You just hear Oh, I'm sorry Now I did and I had all the secrets Of the adventure It's a sleeping yeti I should have known Who pokes a snowdrift? You just stick it in and and nothing i mean the snow gives a little bit obviously yeah but just surround all right he'll sheathe it he'll sheathe the sword and start wiping away with
Starting point is 00:44:36 his hands just trying to see what's underneath the snow dead bodies of the oh that's what i assumed it was you're wiping away the the snow drifts, just wiping away. And I imagine Feyreise is watching you. Does Baron join in, wiping it away? Just watching the snow get wiped back and forth. And Feyreise, you're taken back, back to, like, the gentle swells of a river. Water moving back and forth. It's the Asp River.
Starting point is 00:45:07 Water lapping against its sandy shores. Ibis. Waiting birds tiptoe through the shallows. And they pause to bask in the warmth of the midday sun. Just a bit inland. Broken. Barley plants stand a crooked guard, gray, brown, dead. All of a sudden, the plants begin to shake
Starting point is 00:45:32 and rustle more and more and more, and Ibis tilts its head. The rustling swells and swells, and suddenly a small crow hops out from the dead plants. It tilts its head toward the dead plants and then back towards the water. I see you, the crow says. One of the ibis bows its head, steps away from the others. A whirl of wind and the ibis spins into Thairasa, her spectacles down the end of her nose.
Starting point is 00:46:06 One day I'll fool you yet. A young man's form just leaps out of the crows. You're getting slow, Malook. I was waiting there with the birds for nearly an hour. You're fine, says Malook with a sly smile. You were there with your
Starting point is 00:46:22 people. Thairasa smirks. Birds are full of surprises, she says, unlike you who is slow and boring. Maluk waves her common away and looks back to the dead barley. This is it, he says. Feyraza nods.
Starting point is 00:46:39 Worse than you said, he says. Feyraza nods again and pushes her spectacles up on her nose. Shall we? Maluk nods as well and Feyraza wades onto dry land. She mutters a few words and a coil of fiery rope
Starting point is 00:46:53 begins to uncoil out of her palm. Maluk mumbles under his breath and his hands glow with flame. Feyraza swings her fiery rope at the dead barley, lighting it on fire. Maluk pushes a cone of flame from his hands, and together the two druids
Starting point is 00:47:10 light a line of barley aflame. You hear tiny screams in the distance. Feyraza and Maluk turn towards the sound and see several children from the farming commune run at them, splashing up water from the shallows as they go.
Starting point is 00:47:25 Like, what are you doing? Stop it! Stop it! Feyraza dispels her fiery rope and gestures for Malook to stop as well. He does. Feyraza! The small girl in the lead wheezes at her. What are you doing? Why are you killing our crops? What will we eat? Malook sighs, but Feyraza just Tisks him into silence She crouches down in front of the children
Starting point is 00:47:52 Look at this barley She says It is dead Its presence here is stifling your community's ability to produce grain for you to eat and sell But death Is part of life, little one Feyraza says. She reaches her hands down into the embers
Starting point is 00:48:08 of the burned plant. She turns her hand and the dust slips through her fingers, collecting into a small pile on the sand. She whispers a few words and a small green bud pops out of the dust. The child smiles.
Starting point is 00:48:24 Sometimes to grow it is necessary to burn a bit of the dust. The child smiles. Sometimes to grow, it is necessary to burn a bit of the past. I could not have put it... I could not have put it better myself, a voice says. Ferrazza looks around, and the rest of the Ibis waiting in the water stand straight up, and then reveal themselves to be humans. Two women.
Starting point is 00:48:49 The children scatter when they see the women and once the children are gone these two copper skinned women in brown homespun robes walk towards Maruk and Feyraza. Maruk, please go home.
Starting point is 00:49:04 Feyraza, pack your essentials and meet us at the North Gate. They then turn into condors and just fly off. Man, druid society is so cool! It just does what it wants.
Starting point is 00:49:22 A few days pass and Good! It just does what it wants. A few days pass, and you find yourself, Ferrazza, walking across a desert. The terrain is obviously not unfamiliar to you, but you don't know where you're going. There are smaller buildings around that look to be of relatively new construction. It appears like a sandstorm came through the region recently, but the houses are well protected because there's a huge sand dune that towers over the landscape in front of you. This is why they built houses on this side of the dune.
Starting point is 00:49:58 Your two teachers, these two female druids, walk ahead of you about ten paces, just chatting with each other. They motion to you to join them. You catch up to them. They give you a knowing nod, and then the three of you just fly in human form to the top of the dune. As you crest the top, you see about two miles or so ahead of you a giant pyramid. One of them says, that is our destination. Two miles or so ahead of you, a giant pyramid.
Starting point is 00:50:29 One of them says, that is our destination. Come. And they take off into the air. And you join them across this open desert. Imagine, like, from a side view, you see the pyramid on the other side. It's like Lawrence of Arabia. Yeah. And you guys are just the three of you flying towards the pyramid. They're like really tiny. Right.
Starting point is 00:50:47 Really tiny little dots. Yeah, yeah. Specks in the land. Sand gleaming in the sun. And you can just hear their druid roads like flapping about. Flapping in the wind. And you just alight right in front of the entrance to the pyramid. All of you
Starting point is 00:51:03 walk inside. It's dark, but your teachers promptly create light and move forward. You see these unfamiliar runes on the walls around you, but your focus is on your teachers who seem to be moving with purpose, but also with unease. Eventually, maybe after five minutes, could have been 25 minutes,
Starting point is 00:51:24 but you come to a chamber. Your teachers enter the room ahead of you with noticeable trepidation. One of them quickly extends her hands, one at a time, towards the four corners of the room, shooting flames to four braziers stuck high up on the walls. You see that in the middle of the room is a sarcophagus. But now that the room is lit, your eyes are even more drawn to the walls,
Starting point is 00:51:55 which are covered floor to ceiling in pictograms. And you can see that your teachers are purposely not looking at the walls, but looking at the walls, but looking at you, and not saying a word. Why have you brought me here? Feraza, all over Osirian there are pyramids, there are tombs, vaults, and they all hold great secrets, some of which may never be uncovered.
Starting point is 00:52:31 This tomb has its own secrets as well, but it is especially meaningful to you. Me? Yes, Theraza. Me? Yes, Feraza You see, the creature who lies at rest here was once a powerful master of the arcane arts He was a good man But as his power grew, it twisted his mind Soon your powers will grow as well, and you must be prepared, Feyrasa.
Starting point is 00:53:05 As magics become greater, they become more unwieldy, more prone to mishaps that could have grave consequence for you and those you surround yourselves with. Such was the case with Xenxes here. His particular obsession was that he thought he could control time itself. He failed, but left behind a very important tapestry. You see, the walls of this chamber contain visions of things that have already happened, things that are happening right now, even as we speak,
Starting point is 00:53:48 and things that have yet to come to pass. They all contain moments in time that may lead to a great doom that will befall the world. They step forward towards you very slowly. Feraza, someone from your bloodline was tasked with protecting this chamber,
Starting point is 00:54:14 the secrets inside of it, perhaps even the treasures. And that person died here in this room. How? No one knows it was generations ago but he was turned into dust
Starting point is 00:54:30 right where you stand his soul his very essence consumed by someone or something his name was Pudir now while he perished his wife was with child
Starting point is 00:54:51 and she bore a son whom she named Pudir in his honor when he became a man fearing that the fate of his father would follow him as well he took his family far away from here,
Starting point is 00:55:06 to Avastan, to start a new life and leave this world and all its curses and secrets behind. It is doubtful that this man still lives, but we believe he may have had a son of his own, most likely named Pudir as well. If so, he would be a man probably in his early to late 40s,
Starting point is 00:55:36 and we believe this man is the chosen one meant to prevent the Great Doom. The Chosen One. Meant to prevent the Great Doom. Why are you telling me this? Why have you brought me here? I'm but a low-level acolyte, comparatively. I'm nothing compared to you, my teachers.
Starting point is 00:56:05 Yet, Feyreza. You are nothing yet. We have nothing left to teach you, my dear. All that you need already lies inside of you. Great powers that you don't even know you possess. Your remaining lessons are out there in the world. Travel to Avastan. Find this Pudir.
Starting point is 00:56:42 Find the Chosen One. And guard him with your life I will of course comply I just I seek not power I seek not glory I wish Simply to help the farmers of this land My aspirations lie Very locally I wish simply to help the farmers of this land.
Starting point is 00:57:08 My aspirations lie very locally. Surely there is someone better suited. Someone that I can assist, accompany. Another teacher, perhaps. Feraza, there is something in you That cannot be taught It is beyond even us We are very grateful for what you've done here with us It was more than we expected of you But now you must go
Starting point is 00:57:43 You have taught me to serve and serve I shall But now you must go. You have taught me to serve and serve I shall. I leave with great trepidation, my teachers. For I know not the world. And I fear. I fear I will not be able to pay. I will not be able to pay I will not be able to serve In the way I must When the time comes
Starting point is 00:58:14 But go I shall Just nodding at each other. Troy's just nodding. All right, sounds good. We're Mr. Miyagi. It was like a Clint Eastwood showdown. The good, the bad, and the ugly. They're just kind of looking at each other.
Starting point is 00:58:35 Good, good, good. You must. I've run out of script. You must. Line. Line. Line. You must leave
Starting point is 00:58:46 On the morrow Say goodbye to your friends if you choose But you must Go I suspect it will be easier If I do not return Tell the others I go off to serve
Starting point is 00:59:03 A higher purpose and I humbly beg their pardon. But you say I must go to Avastan, but Avastan is a continent. Correct? Yes. Matthew says looking around the table.
Starting point is 00:59:20 Yes, it is a continent. Yes, yes, yes, yes. You fool. I'm from a different continent Perhaps we've chosen the wrong person What is this? Kill her immediately What is this Asia you speak of? You have talents that we cannot teach
Starting point is 00:59:37 And a talent that you could not learn Geography At this point I didn't put any skill ranks How have you never heard of Avista? Seriously. Perhaps she is not the right one. How do you spell your name again? Shed it with the other Feyraza.
Starting point is 00:59:57 Oh, God. Surely you must have some direction or indication of where this Pudir traveled to. Where I might start my search. Where I might begin my service. They look at each other and maybe even whisper
Starting point is 01:00:17 something under their breath that you don't catch. But they look back at you as if what they're about to say they're not even sure about but they just say seek true now just
Starting point is 01:00:36 snow starts to fill your vision as you see Dalgrith and Baron wipe off two corpses. Yeah, yeah, I know it. Two female corpses, frozen solid. I mean, they're not skeletons. They're still like, you know, whole bodies that have been preserved by the cold down here.
Starting point is 01:01:04 And they have manacles around their arms. Oh, what a terrible life. And legs. Jesus. Two human females? Yes, they appear to be human. I'm hoping this doesn't turn into Encino Man 2. They come out.
Starting point is 01:01:20 They're wacky cavemen and we get to go to high school again? No, man. Just me. There's no time for jokes. It's a horrible thing that we do to these women. It'd be cool to meet Sean Asin, though. Yeah. For real. Do you remember when he filled his
Starting point is 01:01:33 mouth with the ketchup and the mustard? It was crazy. Do we know, can we surmise anything about what happened to them? Like, what do we already know? Go with knowledge religion again i think that and you could go arcana pembroke oh that's a 35 that beats me yeah i think that'll beat that you feel since you came into this place an aura of desecration um it doesn't pervade every room
Starting point is 01:02:00 but you know that like what is going on here to create these abominations is happening under various auras of desecration. And so you think that this, when these women froze to death, their spirits mingled with that aura
Starting point is 01:02:19 that pervades this place, causing them to rise as these restless Yuki Onna spirits. So there's just this kind of unholy ambient energy that's permeating everything. But why were they here? Were they brought here as prisoners? I mean, it stands to reason, right? But why?
Starting point is 01:02:42 Who were they? Well, there were lots of slaves here. But why were they in this part of the of the dungeon here they were brought as sacrifices can i can i examine the manacles or anything yeah you can see that the manacles look like they were broken um baron roll uh engineering on them uh not awful let's hope that this will shed some light on the situation a simple number would suffice 19 i had to find it on my sheet why i appreciate after a 15 minute long cutscene this guy this guy oh my god i guess he gets paid by the word hey by the way for those of you that couldn't see around the table, obviously early on there was some planning and some scripting there,
Starting point is 01:03:29 but then for the entire second half of that, neither of you were looking at anything. You were just talking to each other. Yeah. It was not like a script. That was really cool. It was really awesome. For both the scripted section and the improvised section.
Starting point is 01:03:43 Yeah, the early part was the script to get it started, but then what did you tell each other beforehand? Like, we're just going to go off script after. I texted Matthew this afternoon. He's like, I got a fun idea. You want to just improvise with me? Yeah, it was great. Here we are.
Starting point is 01:03:53 That was awesome. Good stuff. So you notice that it looks like the manacles were filed down. Oh. So, and poorly, but enough so that they could break and escape from wherever they were, you would think. They escaped into the
Starting point is 01:04:12 mountain? Yeah. They were running away from, like, slavery, I think. Oh, like the camp? Were they, like, running from the camp, maybe? Yeah. Maybe running from... Here? Well, maybe they, it was like, this is the only way they could go. They couldn't get out the front entrance. It's winter out there. Wow.
Starting point is 01:04:26 Yeah. But that would mean they would have to run past the Decapitan Lord, past the Devourer, past the Goldacos, jump into that pit and into the drainage tunnel. Maybe they were like slaves to Skirkotla, like chosen handmaidens or something, and they were inside already. Or they predate.
Starting point is 01:04:43 Yeah, can we tell how old the corpses are? Or they predate the whole we tell how old they predate the whole skier cutlet thing they seem to be wearing the same garb as like nim nim and you think like this could be that could have been nim nim that could have been chael right right it's just two other random maybe it was like 300 years ago and the fashion trends have just repeated and cycles that's I don't know. Maybe. Maybe. That's good, Grant.
Starting point is 01:05:08 Thank you. I just picture us all kind of quiet for a second as you're examining and then saying that they had, or you, Baron, saying that they had escaped. At least it looks like they had escaped whatever they were doing and then became trapped here in the snow. And Dalgrith is just like, you know when you do something like I do, when you spend your life hunting great, terrible creatures, you know that death is a part of it. It's something that's always around the corner and something you've got to deal with. But there's nothing that scares me more.
Starting point is 01:05:43 And believe me, there are plenty of things that scare me Don't believe what you hear There's nothing that scares me more of not having control of my own soul If they corrupt you to the point where they get control And twist your soul into torture and agony for your entire afterlife It gives me pause It makes me think we have to be very careful as we move forward
Starting point is 01:06:08 in this place. A great evil lingers here. And dying might not be the worst thing that could happen to us. Yes, this portends a terrible fate. It's possible. We should take them with us, bury them if we can.
Starting point is 01:06:23 I agree, Pembroke, if I was lost in the ice and my soul given over to this torture, I'd want someone to put me to rest. So I'd like to do it as well. It's all right with you, Feraza. It's all right with you, Baron. I'd like to take the time to bury these corpses, give them a proper right. Not here, of course. It's perhaps not right now.
Starting point is 01:06:47 Not at the moment, but let's not forget it. Hashtag squad goals. We will return. You're really making a lot of jokes about this whole situation. It took all of my energy when you said something about one of the things that scares me
Starting point is 01:07:04 is something I want to be like, what's the other? What's the other thing that scares you? Carnies! Carnies! Circus folk! I can never win their games! Smell like cabbage. Smell like cabbage, you know. So you want to just
Starting point is 01:07:18 kind of bookend, like, alright, we gotta come back. I'm gonna just remember, we want to come back, grab them, and give them a proper burial. But right now you want to continue forward. Yeah. And forward is just deeper into tunnel. Deeper into tunnel.
Starting point is 01:07:33 South. Are you stealthing or just kind of walking? Stealthing. All right. Dog-wraithful stealther. Have the stealthers roll their stealth. 28. 20. Okay. So you just start trudging. I'm sorry their stealth. 28. 20.
Starting point is 01:07:45 Okay. So you just start trudging. I'm sorry, 23. Okay. You're rolling ahead, and you're going, you know, 40 feet. Yeah. 80 feet. 150 feet.
Starting point is 01:08:01 What? 180 feet, and it's just more tunnel. It never gets wider than, like, 20, 22 feet. What? 180 feet. And it's just more tunnel. It never gets wider than like 20, 22 feet. It's pretty uniform. And now we know at this point we're turning away from the rest of the tomb. And it's just going deeper. You're going deeper south. You kind of think maybe it turned a little bit west again, but then continues south.
Starting point is 01:08:24 Is it engineered? Is it something Baron would notice as, like, giant engineering? Or is it like a frostworm tunnel? Most likely used to be a frostworm tunnel. Okay. But not as many paths as before. Yeah. You don't see any remnants that a frostworm has been in here lately. So it might just have started off as a frostworm tunnel that they renovated and turned into like an escape route or something else.
Starting point is 01:08:45 You're not quite sure if it holds a purpose other than being this drainage tunnel for this embalming fluid that is getting, the stream is getting thicker and thicker. Not like, oh, I can't swim through it. I mean, it's just, it's in your feet, but like it's getting bigger. 200 feet, 210, 220. feet 210 220 you go about 230 feet and you see light up ahead anybody roll a perception check i imagine dalgrith and baron are stealthing ahead every so often and then like given the look to to pembroke every 40 feet or so and pembrobroke's always super quiet because he's floating right above the snow. Grant, you look pretty happy
Starting point is 01:09:28 with that roll. I'm so happy. I'm rolling in the dice tray that's going to be the reward for the call to arts for Baron, and I rolled a natural 20 in it. I won the combat 20, but it's game worn. I also rolled a natural 20. Oh!
Starting point is 01:09:42 Roll off now. What is your bonus? Plus 26. Oh, you beat now. What is your bonus? Plus 26. Oh, you beat me. Plus 19 over here. That's a 46 perception, Troy. 46 perception? It's a shame you're 40 feet behind us. 39 from Baron.
Starting point is 01:09:54 Yeah, you just see... I got eagle eyes, baby. You see Dalgrith and Baron in perfect precision. Their buttocks toned. I was just going to say, you see Baron's plumbers crack as he looks around the corner. You see the light is coming from a grate in the ceiling of the tunnel up ahead. Looks to be about 15 feet up. It makes sense that they could build upwards. It's inside of the side
Starting point is 01:10:26 of a mountain, so it would never need to be one level necessarily. We haven't seen any stairs yet, though, right? No. Interesting. No, but you did go down into the pit. We are under the tomb right now. Right, right. So there could be rooms
Starting point is 01:10:42 above us that are active. Is this crazy? Creepy? Refer yourselves tomb right right so there could be rooms above us that are active like this is crazy creepy uh refer yourselves to the map here and you will see the tunnel oh yeah look at that i mean you'll see the uh the grate the grate can we see anything up through the grate um or do you move close to it yeah to inspect i mean it's a it must be a drainage grate for the embalming fluid right yeah and is it dripping down from in fact the water is dripping down like uh the north uh western most part of the grate forming the stream that just continued throughout uh you look up and you see a chamber can Can we listen for a moment?
Starting point is 01:11:27 Yeah, everybody roll perception. I'm assuming you guys are right near the grade, obviously. Yes. 21. 30. 33. 12. Okay.
Starting point is 01:11:38 My over 30s. I'm sorry, 40. 40. Oh. Okay. Okay. So, Dalgrith, you hear... Can't quite figure it out.
Starting point is 01:11:53 Feyraza with a 40. It sounds like someone is writing something. Oh, wow. You hear, like, lead on paper. Are they helpfully reading what they're writing out loud? No I mean with a 40 That is like animal type senses
Starting point is 01:12:12 You're like someone is writing something Someone is writing a letter That's 12th level Kindogrit do a perception Best wishes and thank you for cake Something Something about the cake Sounded like a lowercase c.
Starting point is 01:12:26 A children's toy of some kind? Nope, they've gone back. They're racing it. Can I take a look at the grate? Just examine if there's any way to open it? Mm-hmm. Oh, man. 18.
Starting point is 01:12:42 Pure strength. Or a magical means of moving something that looks pretty heavy. There's someone up there, but I don't think we're getting through without letting them know we're here. It's only going to be sheer force that opens this grate. Farazza is going to... We could become an incorporeal giant cat and just jump through it apparently that is against the rules
Starting point is 01:13:11 I saw you do it I saw you do it it happened it happened right in front of my eyes it was a dream sequence it was a dream sequence I've seen Pembroke use shadow step before he saved me from a burning man. I've seen Pembroke use Shadowstep before. He saved me from a Burning Man.
Starting point is 01:13:26 Yes, I can make myself invisible. Oh. Bypass the Great Order altogether. What if we used your Dimension Step to put all four of us in the room right above us like that? Oh, well, yes, that's an option. Ready to fight, ready to take down whatever it is. Easy, dog.
Starting point is 01:13:43 I'm sorry, I'm getting very excited. I think we should get reconnaissance first. Ferraza, please. Unfortunately, I did not prepare insect spies because the GM hates it. Who is the GM? Which was wise. Which was wise. The gods hate it.
Starting point is 01:13:57 That shall not stop me. And Ferraza will wildshape into a fly. Ooh, child. Things are getting easier. So what are you thinking? I'm thinking I'll fly up to the great cannon and land on top of the great get a
Starting point is 01:14:13 Invisible? Not a fly. Oh, as a fly. Yeah. Like an insect. And you get full vision. I think so. Yeah. He gets like 256 times vision with fly eyes. He's got compound eyes. He can see in every direction.
Starting point is 01:14:28 All right, so you're going to turn into a fly, wild shape into a fly, and fly up through the grate. Yeah. And kind of like land on the grate. I'm not going to be crazy. Okay. And just kind of take a look and see where we are. Okay. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 01:14:40 He's wielding a plus five fly swatter. Oh, I know it. He's got a little electric zapper in the corner. Oh, man, I agree. Oh, my flashback for nothing. Oh, man. What a way to go. You turn to fly, and you fly up and land on the grate.
Starting point is 01:14:57 In front of you looks like a table, maybe a slab. And to the left and the right of you, two more of these tables. You can't quite tell because it's really high up and you're on the ground. You hear a bubbling. Now that you're in the room, surrounding you on all sides. And again, that. Everything is giant-sized in the room, so you can't see, like, over these tables from where you're laying on the ground.
Starting point is 01:15:31 Son of a bitch. All right. And a laser blast destroys... What is a button you press that plays every sound at once? This is like the 10th time it's happened. All these things are like hot-keyed, I guess, so when I'm in the search thing, if I don't hit it right... Oh, my God.
Starting point is 01:15:50 A laser blast vaporizes a circus. Yeah, it's just like, okay, we'll do... So, to stop it, you just need to wait to see a cursor in the search box, and then type. Oh, believe me, I thought that I was there, Grant. I really did. The waveform on the recording just exploded. Skid's thing went off crazy the other day, too. That was pretty fun.
Starting point is 01:16:12 All right. Skid really liked it. I will cautiously fly up into the air a little bit so I can see above the slab. So you just kind of keep flying up, just up. I'll roll a stealth. Stealth fly. Plus 90. You just float, float, float,
Starting point is 01:16:34 float, and I imagine you can see this slab in front of you, and you're getting higher and higher, and as you're getting higher, you can sense that that sound of writing is coming from the other side of this slab in front of you. And so you just float up and up and up and you see a robed figure, giant sized, with its head down,
Starting point is 01:17:06 robe over its head like a cowl, just writing something. And it stops and looks up. Come on with this. And we'll see you next time. Oh, shit! Oh, shit. Fly, you fool! Fly, you fool!
Starting point is 01:17:24 Fly, you fool! Fly, you fool! Fly? You fool? Fly, you fool! The Glass Cannon Podcast is a Glass Cannon Network production and is an officially licensed partner of Paizo Incorporated. Giant Slayer is copyright 2015. Giant Slayer and the Pathfinder Adventure Path are trademarks of Paizo. All Pathfinder images are property of Paizo and are used with permission.

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