The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 198 - Better Off Undead

Episode Date: March 12, 2019

With Nephandros defeated, the heroes must contend with the diseased aberration he left behind. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Rogers Days to Save event is back with our most incredible deal yet on our most reliable internet. Enjoy Rogers Ignite internet now starting at just $50 a month. Backed by our Wi-Fi satisfaction guarantee. Visit rogers.com This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast, after quickly dispatching the Necromancer. Like going back to third grade, I don't think I've ever seen a legit better sequence of roles out of a player. The heroes whirl about.

He is dead, but one of his children, one of his creations, yet lives. To face down a snarling monstrosity. It's got an extra arm growing out of its chest. It looks like armor is plated into its skin, maggoty-like skin

stretched over its grotesque frame. But one courageous act. As he's falling, he leaps off of him onto the other creature. Come on! Is that a rule? Is that a rule in the game? And may leave them fatally exposed. I'll roll some damage to start.

Max damage. And now... Somebody tells me that's not the worst part. No. I need you to roll a fortitude. Oh, no. The adventure continues. Oh, no. That's probably the worst thing that could happen. No. how's it going glass cannon nation it's your boy your boy, Grant Berger, a.k.a. Sheriff Baron Ashpeak.

Now, let me tell you something. I'm thrilled spring is just a few days away, but I'm even more excited for the greatest season of all time, summer. We're talking about hitting the beach, eating some snow cones, a couple of brusonis at the baseball park, but that's not even scratching the surface of the fabulous summer bliss coming at you in 2019. That's right, the big boy, Gen Con, coming back to Indianapolis this August. It's truly the best four days in gaming anywhere, and if you're lucky enough to

get out to Indy, not only will you have the time of your life on the convention floor, you'll also get a chance to party with the Glass Cannon crew as we present not one, but two live shows at Hi-Fi Indie. Let me tell you, though, if you want to come out and see the sheer exuberance and terror of our Strange Aeons campaign live, you gotta get moving quickly. The first show is almost sold out, but there are still

general admission and VIP tickets left to our Saturday matinee show, which is gonna be a guaranteed banger. Do yourself a favor. Get off of work, come on up to Indy, and have a great time with the five of us in the astonishingly friendly and, might I say, amazingly good-looking Glass Cannon Nation. And while you're repping the GCP at Indy, you better look your best, so head over to the merch store at glasscannonpodcast.com and get yourself some killer threads.

We have new t-shirts for sale, older shirts back in stock, and we're going to be populating that bad boy with some new schwag any day now, so check it out. Lastly, look, Skid already talked about how amazing the Dallas show was

in a recent ep, but I would be remiss if I did not thank the city that raised me for coming out in full force for a wild show. I can't wait for y'all to see that crazy roller coaster go off the rails. Thank you, Dallas.

And I also want to give a special shout out to my family, Rick, Liz, Meg, and Dave, and the incomparable Mary Berger. But now that the thank yous are out of the way, lace up your boots because the March to 200 is nearly complete. This road has an end and the end is in sight, so sit back, relax, and enjoy episode 198. Just a couple of days ago, I was editing episode 197 of the Glass Cannon podcast. Maybe you've heard of it.

I'm familiar with that show. What's that? You know, we edit these every week. What the hell is a glass cannon? Just go with me on this. Wouldn't it shatter the minute you tried to fire a cannonball out of it? I had this exact conversation with my aunt and uncle

this morning. They were visiting from L.A. and they were like, what's the glass can don't understand it my brother-in-law who played like original box dnd and has like the orange character streets and drew all his friends characters i didn't know this until this podcast happened you really brought my family closer together thank you troy that was my goal grant uh but he came up to me and said i didn't know what a glass cannon was, but I looked it up.

And that's pretty cool. It's pretty accurate. Pretty cool. It is. But what I was amazed by, and what I was saying is we edit these all the time. It just, for some reason, as I was putting the finishing touches, I was like, 197 of these things? That's insanity. It is.

It's insanity. And now we're walking into 198 on the cusp of 200. Obviously, I make a big deal about this, much to Matthew's chagrin. Actually, no. I have had a bit of a change of heart. What? Whoa. What? And on that day, the Grinch's heart grew three sizes.

As, no. He lifts up the table. As you all know. His heart is in know 10 Grinches Plus two No but as you all know I'm not anti-celebration I just think that the number is arbitrary

But I can see that it means a lot to all of you That episode 200 be something special Okay so on that note Congratulations everybody It's episode 200 It's not whiskey. It's episode 200. Wow. He's got whiskey. Wait a minute.

It's not episode 200. Yes, it is. Because episode 100 was actually three. So this is the real episode 200. Oh, he beat you with math. Whoa. Wow. It's the 200th part of this story. I don't.

I feel very unprepared. Whiskey for you. Wow. I was not expecting whiskey. Whiskey out feel very unprepared. Whiskey for you. Wow. I was not expecting whiskey. Why are you just pulling whiskey out of his breast pocket? Whiskey for you. That is amazing whiskey from Portland from our good friend Carrie Haley gave this to us.

This is a whiskey distilled in Portland, which, by the way, is where our next Glass Cannon Live is. Oh, yeah. Sorry, it's sold out. Should have bought those tickets, fools. Always be closing. But in all seriousness, though, if you're listening to this

and you're in the Portland, Seattle area, kind of, you know, that part of the country, check out the Reddit because a lot of times people have last minute plans come up. There's some regular tickets. There's some VIP tickets. You can get all sorts of things on there. Or just hang outside the theater.

Maybe we'll come out the stage door and sign some chests. Chests of what, Troy? Chests. All sorts of things on there. Or just hang outside the theater. Maybe we'll come out the stage door and sign some chests. Chests of what, Troy? Chests. All sorts of chests. Chests of treasure. Treasure chests. Chests of treasure.

Bring your treasure chest. Cheers, guys. Happy 200th episode. You care a lot about this arbitrary number. It has arrived. It has arrived. We are here. You took something great and you ruined it.

You ruined it. I'm drinking an amazing beer from my favorite brewery in the world, Treehouse Brewery. Our good friend of the show. Whiskey and beer. Our good friend of the show, Jen Corona, sent us these Treehouse beers. Jen with two Ns. Jen with two Ns. On Twitch.

She, I can't even tell you. These beers, I went here for my 40th birthday. My wife and I and then infant son. He's still an infant. But this was like. But what is he in high school? He was like, yeah, now can't even tell you. These beers, I went here for my 40th birthday. My wife and I and then infant son. He's still an infant, but this was like. What, was he in high school? He was like, yeah, now he's in high school. He's already got his license. He was like two and a half months old.

It's a scary thought, isn't it? Yeah, two and a half months old, not even. And we went out there and you wait in line for at least an hour, sometimes three hours. And you walk in. They allow you to buy a certain amount of beer for each style. And then you're allowed to get two drafts. And that's it. You have to leave.

And she sent us a ton of this shit. So I can't thank you enough, Jen. And that's what I'm drinking tonight to celebrate. 198, Matthew. Episode 200. Episode 200. A real 200. A real 200.

Matthew's like, he's on the Julian calendar of GCP episode releases. It's like, join the 14th century already, Matthew. I have to thank my brother-in-law for pointing out that math to me. And I was like, you're totally right. Yeah. You're totally right. You're stupid. Ruined it.

Thanks, Logan. Ruined everything. Skins really come on the right side of things. I like the idea of moving to the the gregorian calendar of the glass cannon and we just need to like our next release we have to say all right everybody yeah we're this one is 142 i'm sorry 242 just yeah just deal with it we're rebooting 242 that was the original reboot wait isn't the julian calendar only 10 months or 11 months? Oh, don't get me started. I feel like there's no... Don't even start. I feel like there's no August because August was Augustus Caesar.

And maybe there's no October. Well, there's no... Isn't the Gregorian calendar the leap year? Isn't that where the leap year started and the whole... I thought that that's what... There is someone pulling the Gregorian calendar to replace the Julian calendar. The point is, if we go by the Julian calendar, we get to take two months off, I think, which would be nice.

So we don't recognize August here at the Glass Cannon Podcast. That would be really funny, though, if our show was in seasons and the seasons released every week from September all the way through July. I've thought about that. And then our off season is August. We should just all convert to Anabaptism. Like we should just all be heretics and then just like go by the old calendar. And then we'd have so much time to not be baptized. We really need extra time for that.

We could also take one month of the year off just to tour like rock stars. Yeah. Yeah. It has 12 months this is what troy does troy responds to my suggestions in two ways either he just totally ignores them or he totally dismisses them but there's usually like a 50 50 chance like an hour later he's gonna come up to me and be like i just had this great idea he does that all the time what if we just i came up with this thing just like a voice said something to me and be like i just had this great idea yeah he does that all the time what if we just i

came up with this thing just like a voice said something to me and i ran with it uh guys this is 198 you you really baron especially just ruined a really great character that i had exciting plans for i'll be honest we got to role play yeah we got to role play he doesn't have like a fox companion that was like really emo no no i mean i just had like i had legit plans for this guy not only to like do some decimation but some like really cool story stuff but i had some great plans for orfos but he just ripped his lung out that's true no roles necessary you did choose to go to the dark side. But listen, dice don't lie.

Dalgrath rolled six sixes out of 96. That was one of the best sequence of rolls I've ever seen in my life. Matthew was looking in my little die tray and he was just like, oh my god. It just kept coming up six like going

back to third grade i don't think i've ever seen a legit better sequence of rolls out of a player like that's how it's so fun it was out of control and of course baron comes up and you light him up like you've been doing for 197 episodes at the time but i mean the damage was so insane there was nothing i could be like, you know what? I'll throw an extra 10 HP. Let's go another round. It was over. He was like at negative 70.

There was nothing I could do. So he was already falling to the ground unconsciously when he fired off the last shot. Just shooting at dust. This is like when the cops show up and then in the court of law, it's like, no, no, no. This was not self-defense. He was obviously down and he just kept filling him with bullets.

You got this room here, as I said, very strange room because it's shaped like a trapezoid. And you come through the grate and you have this long parlay with Nefandros. Carlay with Nefandros. And you heard of Nefandros when you fought Zoya Betta and Onanfexia in the chapel of Ergothoa to the northeast of this labyrinthian tomb. And he tells you a lot about Skirkadla. He did. A lot about his relationship with Skirkabla and their plans for world domination. Yet again, we see that now he may not know the whole story, but just like Earth Ash, Earth Ash was like, I'm aligning with the storm tyrant so that I can use that power to impose my doctrine on the world to bring back Minderhall worship. Like they,

again, you see, he's saying like, we were going to, yeah, well, we're going to say we're with a storm tyrant, but then bait and switch,

but arm of the undead to take over the world. Like, and it goes back to screed and, uh, what's her name? Grenzel deck. Same thing. Like everyone has their own separate agenda.

This is why giants have a hard time taking over the world. But he also knows this. Everyone knows it is known. But he said that the elite from Skirgard have gone south. So like, even though you've wiped out this camp, there's another camp of elite. And you think that elite is like not only powerful but intelligent smart it's like the later levels in halo when they start working together yes bottle cap thank you true dames yes halo bottle cap next time you play halo

on halo this crazy abomination is released from the northern room. There are two rooms. I said north and south here to the west. It's got an extra arm growing out of its chest. It looks like armor is plated into its skin. Maggoty like skin stretched over its grotesque frame. I mean, let me stretch this out here.

The image that I've used is the actual image. It's gross. It's not not gross. Even being near it, Dalgreath had to roll against the stench aura. Troy, I got to tell you, I know the visual humor doesn't always land, but all we saw was the zooming of that creature's crotch.

The fog of war. You put it all over the fog of war, and it was just crotch. The fog of war. You don't know where the fog of war is. It was just crotch. I wanted you to see what I wanted you to see. I wanted you to see what he was working with. That's probably our point of view. That's true. And from our perspective, that's probably what's overwhelming our field of vision.

It's all you see is crotch. Overwhelming is the key word there. It's awful. What parts did they use to make that? Never seen anything like that. Is that a foot? Baron, you light up Nefandros. Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba tubs with weird fluid that Dalgray thinks is probably embalming fluid. Feyraza, Flyraza did her flyover and said,

oh, that looks like embalming fluid. Feyraza casts Tarpool to slow Nephandros and this weird creature down, hops up on the table. Baron lights up from afar. Dalgray was on the back of Nefandros. Yeah. And Pembroke is standing on top of the grate mid-Summoning Monster 6.

Am I correct, this is your first Summoning Monster 6? No, I've done it before. You have done it before. For sure. Okay. So I'm incorrect. First of the day. First of the day, yeah.

Yeah, first of the day. The monster du jour, my friend, is a beautiful air elemental. Greater. Everyone is hasted, thanks to Pembroke. It's true. And Pembroke also has this, what I'm calling the get out of jail free spell. Getaway. Getaway.

At any moment, you can just go back to Skelton. And Dalgrath has a negative level. Dalgrath has yet. He's suffering from a weakness. Did we ever roll during your last rest to see if those were permanent? We used Restoration. I played a lot of games. I don't know what's going on.

We also all have Cat's Grace on. That's also true. We sure do. Who's that from? Me. Ferraza. So you did contribute. No, I'm kidding. You're great. So you did contribute. I'm kidding.

You're great. Episode 198. I thought it was 200. Pembroke, you're watching this all go down, and you've seen now you've been traveling with Baron for at least 100 episodes. And no, it's not true. Exactly. You've seen, I don't know if you've seen guns before do you think you saw guns before you met baron heard of them uh i think honestly the only other

place that um i can't there's one um kind of region in whatever the Africa analog is. The Milwaukee Expanse, right? Not the Milwaukee Expanse, but it's like next. But it's north of it. I think it's like next. But there are like technologically advanced areas on Galarian. And I know that Pembroke has spent time down there. I think he probably has but i i also like i think that your take on firearms and the kind of

preponderance of them is a little different than what the canonical yeah that's probably true i make it into more of like a uh what is this wired thing i think he's probably heard of given that i think he's probably heard of them but maybe not not seen one. Seen them in action. So even a wizard of your power must be in awe of this. And you're going through the somatic... Garund. Garund. Garund, yes. Somatic presentation, the somatic components of casting Summon Monster 6. monster six and we we close in on your face into your mind and we see

you pembroke sitting in an office looking at a tome with the text and components necessary to cast summon monster six there are like images like a like a tai chi manual of the motion diagrams yeah of what you would have to do to actually cast summon monster six and you're sitting there at a desk and you close the book and you put it down and you look out the window and you see the tops of buildings in the distance and it's the afternoon skyline of Absalom. You're at the Arcanarium and you look to be the same age that you are now and you're just lost in thought looking out at Absalom thinking maybe like, I feel like I used to be able to cast Seven Monster Six and now I don't know why

I can't do it anymore. Maybe someday. And I imagine your desk is what we would probably think your desk looks like. Were you organized? I picture like papers everywhere, tomes half open. Oh yeah. Like it's cluttered with trophies and term papers

and books and spell components like everything. Yeah. It's like overflowing. Printed out emails. Yeah, printed out emails. Empty cans of tab. My assistant printed them out.

Tab. And so your shelves around your office are probably similar, overflowing with books, but also like these knickknacks and treasures from a long life. All stuff I've collected from decades. Right. Traversing the globe. You spent your life, you've dedicated your life to learning. And so you've

collected things along the way. All of a sudden there's a knock at the door and it kind of takes you out of your reverie. And a graduate assistant wizard enters and just kind of solemnly looks at you. He's like, sorry to bother you, Professor, but a letter has arrived for you, and it was marked urgent, and he just holds it out towards you.

Pembroke, is it? No, no, quite, yes. Thank you. About your studies. And he just kind of like shuts the door without kind of even looking at his expression and turns back towards his desk and starts to open it. As you feel the envelope, it's heavier than you expected. A graduate student walks out upon your command like eyes down to the ground. And as you feel the envelope, it's heavier than you expected.

Graduate student walks out upon your command like eyes down to the ground. He's reverent to you. There's something clearly inside this envelope, though. It's heavy, so you know it's not just a letter. You search amongst the papers on your desk for a letter opener, but it's so messy you can't find one. So you just wave your hand at the envelope and the paper rips away from the top of the envelope. But it's not like a clean cut, you think to yourself looking at it, knowing that there was a time when you would have opened it with perfect precision with a wave of your hand. Ignoring whatever else is inside of her for a moment, you open the letter and read. And it's just like one sentence.

open the letter and read. And it's just like one sentence. And it says, when the great fire comes, be sure you are wearing this all of your days. And it's signed, an old friend. You reach inside to pull out whatever the this is when something catches your eye on one of your shelves. And it really takes your attention away from this delivery. So you put the envelope down and you walk over to the bookcase where your eyes are drawn to a strange relic. You don't really remember where this is from. It appears Osirian in nature, though.

Just standing amongst other baubles whose significance you also forget. You've collected so much stuff. But something about this Osirian relic seems so familiar, like there's a real strong memory attached to it, but for the life of you, you can't remember. strong memory attached to it, but for the life of you, you can't remember. So you just, you reach out to touch it, maybe to pick it up, thinking that that tactile sensation will jog your memory, and just as your finger touches the edge of it, the entire room goes unnaturally dark. And not just devoid of the light that only minutes ago was streaming in through your window, that Absalom skyline,

but it's as if you've been transported to an actual void yourself. Nothingness. You hear something behind you in this blank space, and you turn and just see a skull floating in the air about five feet away from you. Its jawbone is just moving up and down, clattering, and you feel like it's whispering. You can't hear what it's saying. You're panicked, but also kind of determined because some of the words you're making out

but some of you aren't so you inch closer maybe with just like the top half of your body trying to make out the words when all of a sudden one word comes booming out of it it's like forget

and as it echoes all around you the entire skull just turns to dust. And you're just shunted back into your office so quickly, you lose your balance and hit the floor. Kind of shake your head. And you pull yourself to your feet, using the desk to support you. And you see the envelope lying in front of you. support you, and you see the envelope lying in front of you. And you just lift it up, blow on it, peer inside, and reach in. Now you're back. In this mad scientist's laboratory.

This self-styled tomb giant, as he said. Ah, yes. He is dead, but one of his children, one of his creations, yet lives. As you are on the precipice of finishing your spell. Baron is finished. It is Dalgrith's turn. Dalgrith, you are on Nefandros' shoulders as he collapsed, and you also die from the bullet.

No. Oh, man. I thought he was crushed underneath the body, not from the bullet. Crushed, and the bullet hits you as well. Oh, wow. I'm trying to, like, obey some rules of the bullet. And the bullet hit you as well. Oh, wow. Try to obey some rules of naturalism. I'm sorry, you're dead. Are you sorry?

No. It was a hell of a run. I thought you were like, am I dead? What do you do, Dalgraith? Dalgraith, as this giant creature is falling to the ground, he's just like, blah, blah, blah, blah. And he's kind of like riding him down to the ground. It's just like, Blah, blah, blah, blah! He's kind of like riding him down to the ground, and as he's

falling, he leaps off of him onto the other creature. Come on! Is that a rule? Is that a rule in the game? Wait, can a vexing dodger really do that? Because that's unbelievable. He could be on the ground.

It's imagination. I'm leaping off of it as it falls and landing on the other creature. That's so insane. Tell me what you want me to roll. I'll roll a climb. I'll roll acrobatics. What do you normally roll? Both.

What do you normally do? It's a climb check to get on the creature. All right, so roll the climb check. All right, so we'll do it as a climb check. It's against its CMD. Okay. Not a gimme by any stretch. No, especially with this weird thing with 19 arms. That's a 35. Just straight up CMD. Not a gimme by any stretch. Especially with this weird thing with 19 arms.

That's a 35. Just straight up CMD? Straight up CMDizzle. You're on its back. Yeah! Yeah! Love it. Love it!

She will then... Cheers to episode 200. Sorry, Matthew. Oh, actually, quick. Choose the square that he's on. He can only be on one of those first two squares. Yeah, he's going to jump right on that first square, and then he's going to do a...

We should trick him into going up the tarpon. Now that he's super close on this weird thing, he's going to do a knowledge religion to try to determine anything he can find out about the creature. Sure, why not? The natural one. All right. But you know that it is a hill giant.

It's safe to assume it's undead. It's a living hill giant. I'm getting a closer look at Joe's dice tray, and there are all kinds of little, like, dings and dents from all of them. You know what you do when you get mad? You throw it in the tray? That's what he normally does. He will throw it into the tray. That is not true.

It is. It's like pockmarked with residue of Joe's anger. That's messing up your rolls, man. Those are all from the heavy die. Those are from the metal die, so I stopped using them. I just used the plastic ones in this thing. Yeah, not your anger. No, not my anger at all.

Yeah, bullshit. Is it the giant subtype? I would assume no. Yeah, you know, I guess I can tell you that, right? Well, just because I have a giant main weapon. No, it is not of the giant subtype. It is not of the giant subtype. Okay.

Then, in that case, he's going to land on the creature and sheathe his weapon. Oh, wow. Interesting. Land on the creature, sheath. Yeah, which provokes an attack of opportunity. I shall take said attack of opportunity. Do I want to go bite, claw, or extended claw? Extended claw.

That does sound good. That sounds gross. But does that have like a reach where you can only get so close? No, you just go like this. Blah, blah, blah. Chopped up. That's a good thing about it.

Anything can happen. That's a good thing about natural attacks is natural attacks you can always attack from five feet away. Weapons, different story. Wait, so you hopped off of him? Oh, I'm, no, that's just a lag on our, got it. So yeah, holding on, gripping its unnatural mat, like the armor that's sewn into its body. He gets a good grip and then sheathes this blade,

but it leaves him open for a second. Oh, I can't decide. I kind of want to go for the bite. It worries me that you can't decide. It means that each one of them is so awful. Yeah, yeah. So terrible things. There's not one clear choice.

Well, one of them is great. Well, they both require you to roll to see what happens if I hit. So that's great, just watching you do that. Scary. But I'm going to go with the bite. More saves. I'm going to go with the bite because this is terrible. Okay. I mean, they're both

crap. Alright. It is a 24. Miss. Yeah. Oh, shit! Yeah! I just enrolled crap.

Oh, no. Nope, that is a hit. Wait, really? Yeah. Not giant subtype. I'm pretty sure, because it's not the giant subtype. Yes, no defensive training! No defensive training!

Okay. You sure? I'm pretty sure. I'm looking to see if he gets bonuses against just larger creatures, but I don't think he does. I think it's giant only. While you're looking at it, I'm just gonna roll some damage. I'll roll some damage to start. Max damage.

Of course. 15 points of damage. Okay. And now... Something tells me that's not the worst part. No. I need you to roll a fortitude. Oh, no! There's more drainings happening. How's your fortitude bonus Oh, no. There's more drainings happening. How's your fortitude bonus? Terrible. High level. You don't have a good fortitude?

High level. This is the problem with Pathfinder. This is what they're trying to fix. I got a high level save. No, truly, it is. High level saves are completely screwed up, so I need a super high roll. Fail. Okay. What'd you roll? An 11. Okay. Oh.

My will save is plus one. Now, granted, I do have a negative level, but plus one. That's really bad. Yeah. It's not good. I might want to give you a cloak a little later on. From one of your former characters. I believe he's wearing one.

He is? Yeah. Oh, wow. A rogue at 12th level Has a plus 4 Will save At 12th level That's the base

Will or fortitude? Will Okay So same thing with fortitude So He bites into you And you just feel Something unnatural

Enter your bloodstream But everything seems okay right now. Okay. Terrible. Right. Oh, no. Now. No, no, no! And it is Feyraza's turn. Okay, Feyraza... Dancing on the table over there. I'm not dancing. There you are.

Feyraza will cast a little spell called Soraco. Oh, I love that on my eggs. Did you say Soracha? Oh, I love that on my eggs. Did you say Soracha? I did not say that. Sorry. So please just kindly roll a fortitude save. Tell me what the spell is. And did you make it up?

Roll a fortitude save. Did the fan send this in? It's in the advanced player's gun. Damn it all. Alright, fortitude save. I'm gonna get this. I'm gonna rock it. 22. It is DC 22. Come on, man. I'm going to rock it. 22. It is DC 22. Come on, man. I got guns too, man.

Don't lie. Does anything happen to me? Yep. Hold on. Come on! That's what happens. These high level spells, you pass and something bad still happens. You lose a limb. What happens if I fail? Okay, so you only take five points of damage because you made your save. Okay. And you don't fall prone, which would have been amazing because you would have been prone in the tar pool.

You've made my characters fall prone more times than I like to count. However, any creature that takes damage from a Sirocco becomes fatigued. Oh! So you are now fatigued. I don't care for that. So it's a whirlwind of fire or something, right? It's a blast of furnace hot wind. And it comes in a 20-foot radius, but I'm positioning it so it's not to hit Dalgryth.

Wow, that's really good positioning. And Sirocco is like a desert wind, right? Actually, I'm sorry. It is not five points. Yeah, it's a desert wind. It's because I had my caster level. So it is actually 11 points of damage. Oh, 11 points of damage.

That was the half. Fatigued is minus two to strengthen dex. That's awful. is actually 11 points of damage. Oh, 11 points of damage. And you took it. That was the half. Fatigue is minus two to strengthen dex. That's awful. So that is my turn. That's your turn. Can I do any kind of knowledge check on this guy? You can go a knowledge religion,

but let me just ask you, you said it was 11 points of damage? 11 points total. Okay. Yeah, go ahead and roll a knowledge religion. I don't have knowledge religion. Well Well then you can't roll shit Matthew And I wish you'd stop slowing down my games I wish you'd stop slowing down

Episode 200 This is a marquee episode I got a lot planned for 200 Alright Now here's what I'm gonna do I think I mean Dalgrith is the only one up in the business there. He is.

And by the way, I'm sorry, but it is a miss. It is a miss. It is a miss. Oh. Sorry to bring you down. Why is it a miss? Because I thought that he gets the bonus to his AC from being on the creature when he hits the creature, but he just has to be on the creature to get

the bonus. What's your bonus? Plus six. Wow. When I'm on him. Yeah. That's why it's even feasible to do against giants. Otherwise you'd be, against large creatures, otherwise you'd be screwed. So, yeah, it is a must. I'm so glad I went back to my sheet though

so I could see that I have immunity to fatigue. That was good to notice. Oh, because you're undead. Yeah, he doesn't breathe air. There it is right there. He's not huffing and puffing. Immune to fatigue. That's great.

All right, so this is what I'm going to do. I'm going to go ahead and do a full attack, five attacks on Dalgrath. Five? That's a natural 21. Oh, with all the natural attacks. Let's just roll these one at a time. You might misfire. You know, I haven't used Neon Green in a while.

I've been using my Cat's Eye Blue. So let's start with the bite. Okay. This could be really bad for Dalgrath. It could be very bad. The bite was a 32. That's a hit. Okay.

Did you give yourself those 15 points back? I did. All right. Now take 14 away. Okay. Did you give yourself those 15 points back? I did. Alright, now take 14 away. Okay. Just one under max damage. And roll a fortitude save. Classic LaValle. Come on. Lucky on this one. Lucky on this one. That is a 17. Everything seems fine today.

Greg, can you remind me that he's fucked after this onset period is over? Don't let him know. I mean, it's episode 200, so sure. Alright, I just have a lot going on here. No problem. Can't take a lot now. He's fucked. First claw.

Oh, man, this die just came. Do-do-do-do-do. 20 to hit. Miss. Yes. Second claw, 28 to hit. Miss. Wow.

Remember, it's not a giant. Yes. All right, now the extended claw. I got two shots. First one would have missed If it was giant Come on Neon Green Make it happen

That's another miss 25 Yeah Oh yeah He's doing fine He's just horribly Two more or one more One more

One more Don't you roll that Don't do it LeBron Come on Don't I'm ripping down your dance Oh this is so good If I can hit it

Natty 19 That'll do it Yeah That's a 36 That'll do it Oh no Okay Shoot Oh, this is so good. If I can hit it. Natty, 19. That'll do it. Yeah, that's a 36. That'll do it. Okay. Shoot. You almost got out there. I almost did.

A 19 to 20 crit. With only a debilitating disease. It's going to be 10 points of damage. Oh, that's not a big deal. Next turn. No. Wait, who's next? Joe, hold on.

I'm sorry, Troy. We've moved on. No, I'm sorry. There's more. Here's what's going to happen. I need you. Let me see if there is even a save for this or if it's just going to happen. Okay, no.

Fortitude save. God. Come on, Joe. He's going to be so mad if he fails. Come on, Dograve. Fail. You're the death bringer, not the death taker. Natural four.

You are... Do you have another character ready? For five rounds. Max amount of rounds. Completely paralyzed. Oh, no! That's probably the worst thing that could happen to the Deathbringer. Wow!

Paralyzed! Maybe one of the worst things that could happen to us. Joe, why don't you run to the store, get us some cheeseburgers. It's going to be a long night. Enjoy the rest of F200, fellas. It's 198. Five rounds. Wow.

You are paralyzed. Now, what does the paralyzed condition say? Just for the folks listening at home that maybe don't play this game. Paralyzed character is frozen in place, unable to move or act. A paralyzed character has effective dexterity and strength scores of zero and is helpless but can take purely mental actions. A winged creature flying in the air becomes paralyzed, cannot flap its wing, and falls. I wonder what happens to a character holding on to a giant.

Does he fall as well? We'll talk about that later. A paralyzed swimmer can't swim and may drown. A creature can move through a space occupied by a paralyzed creature. Ally or not, each square occupied by a paralyzed creature, however, is difficult to reign. I'm gonna say you fall and take

one points of damage, and you are prone in front of this giant. One points of damage. Pembroke, you have been casting Summon Monster 6. You see Dalgrith fall, and you know he's dead. You're a very smart man. You know he's permanently dead. I do.

Clearly. What do you do? Well, from behind, in the doorway. The door's open, right? Behind him? Yes. Okay. In the doorway behind this creature appears a dire bear.

Oh! A celestial dire bear named Barry Connick Senior. Oh! That is badass. He appears right behind him. That's in the carpool.

Barry Connick Senior. That's fine. He's gonna Connick Sr. That's fine He's gonna just stand and bang He's blocking Blocking his exit Alright, so Barry Connick Sr. What is the size of this character?

He's huge, I believe Huge? Large Okay Perfect, so just in the doorway And he has reach so he can attack through. Yep. Full attack.

Go for it. Yep. And he says, doobity-doo, the world's a second Judah. Like father, like son. And you were there. And you were there. Yeah, I know. That was the thing.

So when we did our Dallas, we went to the Dallas live show. Matthew and I spent the afternoon. We went to Dealey Plaza. And it was like a JFK. The grassy knoll. We sat on the grassy knoll. And I have to say, I felt like I was in my element. I've been studying this.

I've been fascinated by the JFK assassination most of my life. And I'm pointing out to Matthew everywhere. I was just like, okay, so he was up in that window. That's where the first shot hit. The second two shots were right there. That's the wooden fence where the second shot was supposed to happen. And it was one of – we had a great time. It was a great time.

And it was one of the best days of my life. It was very weird. It was very eerie. It was very weird. And I got very emotional because we went to the museum. You can go up to the book depository, what was the book depository, and go on a little tour. And it talks about JFK.

And I got very emotional. I started to cry. But anyway, Barry Connick Sr. has no such compunctions emotionally. No, but Joe is weeping for Dalgrith. So he's not I'm sorry, who? He's not on this podcast. He lashes out with one of his mighty claws.

Natural 20! Natural 20! Oh my goodness gracious. Natural fucking 20. Periconic Senior! Roll to confirm. Alright, roll to confirm. Periconic Senior. Natty. Roll to confirm. All right. Roll to confirm. Barry Connick Sr. Matty 17 on the confirm.

Oh, beautiful. I'm assuming adjusted. That's going to be enough. And you know what? It's a named character. I will do a fan critical. Excellent. All right.

All right. Let's hope it's double damn. Matt from Charlottesville, Virginia. I mean, sometimes look at this, Matthew. Sometimes they're just too perfect. That's amazing. No, I am your father. Come on.

That's the name of it. That's awesome. You've got to be kidding me. Wow. Your attack viciously hits the forearm of your target. Double damage, and you get a reflex save, Troy. On a success, no effect. On a failure, you may lose your hand.

Drop your weapon, roll a fortitude save. Well, losing a hand would mean it loses an attack. Right, exactly. So double damage and a reflex save. So the reflex save is the confirmation roll. So you rolled a natty 18. I rolled a natty 17. Natty 17.

So that is a 32. All right, so it's a reflex DC 32. I have to roll a natural 20. I'll roll it. Neon green on the table. Nope. Yeah! On a failure, you may lose your hand.

Roll a fortitude save. All right, so I fail that, and so it's like a double. Yeah, exactly. What's the DC of this? Same DC. So 32. Again, I need a natural 20.

No, there's natural 20. You've got gotta be kidding me Nope So he loses the attention So this thing You lose You lose your primary hand Below the wrist

Oh my god So No I I am your father One of its main claws Is gone It now only has four attacks

Yeah Alright This bear Disappears out of nowhere And just like and just chomps on his hand. His claw just swipes. Yeah, like grabs by the wrist and rips his claw right out from its socket. This thing is being held together with Popsicle sticks and glue. And you just...

Roll damage. Double damage. Dude, it could certainly do that. A bear swiping like that Could take off a limb Yeah yeah It would take off one of our limbs So that's

That's 26 points of damage Okay And then it gets a free attempt to grab Okay Wait that was doubled The 26 was doubled Yeah yeah Okay

Free attempt to grab That is 25 against him No no grab Okay Second attack It's a claw claw bite Yeah claw claw bite Uh, that is, uh, 25 against AMD. No, no graph. Uh, second attack. Claw, claw, bite? Yeah, claw, claw, bite. Get another natural 20! Second claw attack.

That's a miss. And then the bite is a 24. That's a hit. Okay, all right. That is a hit. Beautiful. By the rules of the game. Uh, that is 15 points of damage of the game. That is 15 points

of damage on the bite. Okay. Okay. Crap. Alright. Good round there, Pembroke. We're going to a new round. Oh, and then Pembroke. I'm sorry. It's Pembroke's turn. Pembroke, his own self is... The very one.

He is going to cast Hold Monster on this creature. Oh, yes. Let me ask you, what kind of effect is that? It's not mind-affecting. It isn't? No, it's... Yeah, it's not. There's no

specifier for the kind of... It's not a compulsion? No, no, it's not. Oh, you know what? Actually... of of it's not a compulsion like no no it's not oh you know what actually okay it may not work um because it specifies one living creature so that may not be they may not uh uh yeah and it's funny because i don't think there's a hold on dead there there is oh there is yeah there is that's a separate that's a separate thing um all right thank god so instead rather it's a compulsion it's a enchantment yeah okay yeah you're right mind affecting yeah oh it is it is mind affecting okay um i just need to make more

undead enemies they're a lot more fun against you guys man you did you didn't tell lark that he should choose favorite enemy undead. Yeah, I told you, man. You weren't reading this book back then. No, I... Have I not said this on air? The reason when you gave it to me I said choose undead

is I assumed you'd be here for book four in here where it's all undead. You read that when you were reading book one? Oh, yeah. Oh. Yeah, that's why I told you.

Probably book two when you had to choose that, though, right? Because by then... Second favorite enemy? You would have had like 66. Like level five, I? Because by then, you would have had like 66. Like level five, I think. Your bonus by then would have been like 66.

So I was really looking out for you. This is a huge point of contention between us, and now you know that I was really looking out for your best interest. You're welcome. Sure. All right. So Pembroke on... Could have easily chosen Undead Later, by the way.

You wouldn't have get the six-feet. You're right. Pembroke, on his own turn, is going to use the metamagic rod to swift action cast magic missile. Okay. 19 points of damage. Powerful spell in this particular game. Yeah, that is... Man, magic missile's got mileage.

Yeah. It is one... It's so cool. It's like it's a spell that originates in like original like dnd and it's it not only does it carry over from those original versions of the game but it carries you through like your early levels as a caster all the way through to your late levels it's amazing it's i mean it's great yeah um so and then with this standard action then with a standard action he's going to cast lightning bolt. Okay.

I'll allow it. Make a reflex save. You make him. Something tells me this guy doesn't have high reflex. It's not that low. Oh, 25. Okay, so it's half. So you take 21 points

of electricity damage. Does that beat DR5 slashing? Yes! Oh, DR5 slashing. Cool, wish I wasn't paralyzed. Fucking game. Uh, Pembroke, before your turn ends, I would like Barry Connick

Sr. to roll a fortitude save against the stench of this creature. Okay. Because I got nothing better going on. That is a netty 19. All right, forget it. Baron's turn. It's a new round.

It's Baron's turn. Bear, bear. Bear, bear. You lit this giant up, this tomb giant up. But then he saw his friend, his new friend whose battle prowess he respects so much go down. Go down. Paralyzed. Limp at the sides, limp at the legs, limp in between the legs.

Yep. And I'll tell you right now, this thing is not super intelligent. If you don't kill it and it's not of the giant subtype, so you're not going to get all those juicy bonuses, it might just start mauling. So that's my first question. Do I need to make a knowledge check to know that it's undead or what its type is? Do I get it from what everyone else is saying? I always assume that when someone knows the knowledge,

they're yelling it to the group. So do I need to make a perception to see how many legs it has? Well, it's obvious, yeah. How many legs does it have? Do I need to make a perception of that or can you just tell me it's two? It has two legs. Swift action.

Calls down Bane. Okay. Undead on his weapon. No. No! It looks like there's nothing blocking me from getting clear shot. Drawing it on the map for you. Man, the edge of that table is a little juicy.

Then I'll take a five-foot step as well. Okay, then you're fine. Give him that five foot step. And then he will de-target the monster. Leg! Fuck this thing up! What is this gonna do? You'll see if I hit. I don't like it. Natural 20.

Natural! Natural! 20! It's amazing the hot streak that you're on. It's just a farce. It's a total of a 21 against Touch AC to confirm. Yeah, that's a confirm. So it does normal damage first off, but that's double damage, but it's a fan critical.

Oh, that's right. We still doing a fan critical? Fan critical. Times four. Give me this stupid damage. But you do damage, right? Yeah. Hold on.

Hold on. The damage is affected by the crit. All right. Double is quadruple. What do we got? We have Nathan from Aberdeen, South Dakota. I love it. It's in the bone.

Oh, yeah, it is. The projectile lodges into a randomly determined mobility base appendage. We can just say it's leg. We don't have to randomly determine. And lodged in the bone. Normal damage. Oh, what a bummer. Normal damage of 1d6 bleed.

Times two. Immune to bleed. No, but question. Normal damage for you is times three. When you target, you still get your multiply, right? Yeah. Times three damage. On a crit.

Yeah. All right. It's looking juicy so far, LaValley. We're talking about. Trampled. Starting with 28 points of damage, plus 2d6 versus undead, 33 points of damage. Whoa. Good thing I have that DR5 slashing.

Oh, man. 33, huh? It's bludgeoning and piercing. I hit you. All right. I hit you so much. Here is... You're not prone.

Oh, no! Into the tar. Wait. Into the tar! Into the tar, into the tar. You get stuck in the tar. Wait a minute. Well, he isn't getting tangled.

Do you want me to read it to you? It says if you go prone in tar You're paralyzed for 1d4 rounds I'm sorry I'm just reading this out of the core rule book Alright so On a hit a target is damaged normally and not prone He's not prone So he is half in tar half out of tar

Matthew when he started his turn Wasn't I supposed to roll a reflex save And take damage Yeah you should have remembered that. We came in the middle of your turn. Oh, no, we came in the middle. I completely forgot. It's okay. You'll get him next time. Baron's got nine more shots.

He's going to kill him anyway. I just want to see if he misfires. Make that gun explode. Baron, shoot again, you big dummy. Targeting is a full round action. Oh, that's right. Well, then I'm the big dummy Yep Yes

Speaking of big dummies Dalgrith you're up Dalgrith For his purely mental action Yeah He thinks I got this That's what he thinks

Yeah he's completely confident Really He's been paralyzed before Yeah this thing's looming over him And he's just like I got this Wow Yeah He's been paralyzed before. Yeah, this thing's looming over him, and he's just like, I got this. Wow. Yeah.

He's like, I just got to ride it out. You know, he doesn't get freaked out like we talk about with the dream paralysis. Sleep paralysis. Sleep paralysis, yeah. He doesn't get freaked out at all. He's like, ride it out. It's going to be a few rounds. I've been here before.

I've done this before. I'll tell you right now. That giant spider had me completely paralyzed for minutes. I made it out. It's going to be a few rounds. I've been here before. I've done this before. I'll tell you right now. That giant spider had me completely paralyzed for minutes. I made it out. If a Raza doesn't wipe him out, I'm going to have him full attack you with four attacks. Oh, the prone creature? Yeah. Oh, okay.

Well, he'll stand up. And then... Will he? Do one attack? Give you one attack. Well, I guess you could attack from prone. You're just going a minus four. And your dex is zero, so that's going to help. Feyraza, you're up.

And don't forget to roll the damage at the beginning of his round. If he fails his reflex save like you did last time, you might have saved Elgrith. You're up. That's a nurture. Feyraza is going to Wild shape She's wild I'll tell you She's a wild wild woman

Into a war cap And hasted She's gonna charge up to get Into range with this guy And start mouthing off about What a little baby he is Look at his dead daddy Right there

Oh that's mean. I'm trying to save somebody's life here, Troy. Alright, I don't have a war cat, but I do have a house cat. As long as it's huge. As long as it's huge. Alright, now you can't charge up because of that table, though.

I'm not actually charging. But lookit, you might not be able to get past that table, see? Oh, the one in the center there? You can't even get there. I put the hand off the chess piece you might not be able to get past that table, see? Oh, the one in the center? You can't even get there. I put the hand off the chess piece. I should be able to take another regular attack. I'm so glad. I took my hand off the chess piece.

I'm not arguing for it. I appreciate it. Do you want to get on the table? You're a giant tabby. You can jump. Yeah, cats jump on the table all the time. Nefrando's coming. He's like, no, we don't allow cats on the tables.

We have a certain level of discipline around here. on the table all the time. You hit, Nefrando's coming, he's like, no, we don't allow cats on the tables. No! We have a certain level of discipline around here. Yeah, you can just, meow, jump up on that. So she's on the table.

I wish people could see this map because it's just hilarious. It's like, huge tabby. Oh yeah, you jump up on the table. Okay. That's my whole round

because it was standard action, wild shape, and then. What do I have to do for starting my action prone in the tar pool? I'm so glad you asked. Let me tell you right now. This could take him out if I fail my save. Okay, so...

God, I hope so. You roll a reflex save. However, because you're prone, you take a minus four penalty to the reflex save. I already got the prone condition added. You give me another minus four? This is from the spell. Oh. Yeah, a creature that falls prone in the area takes a minus four penalty on its reflex save against

the tar, and on strength and escape art, it checks to escape the tar. Shut your mouth. So what's the DC I have to hit? Don't worry about it. What's your roll? Alright, shut up. Minus eight. It's a natural one Yeah You looked like you were doing math Well, it was an 18

For some reason My neon green I don't roll it anymore Because my wormwood tray It just keeps rolling It was an 18 Then it was a 17 And then it went back to a one

And I just kept staring at the one Hoping that it would roll to that 19. Okay, so first things first, you take 18 points of fire damage. And he's dead. Yeah! First things last. First things last. Holy shit.

There was such fun. You were entangled. All kinds of fun stuff was going to happen. Yeah, I had nothing. And I really was going to come. I was going to bring the kitchen sink to Dalgrith. Even after I distracted you with your giant house cat? Oh, yeah.

Just because I wanted to put him in danger and make you guys sweat a little. Sweat it out. Sweat like onions. Wow. All right. Hell of a job there. I really thought that was going to go a little quicker. For real, there was some real serious awesome, awesome combo work that just went in.

Yeah. It felt like an X-Men situation. Danger Room. Danger Room, motherfuckers! We're fighting two Sentinels. Yeah. We took them down. That's what it's like.

And you handled it well. Barry Connick Sr. as he fades out. Do you guys say anything to him? Yeah. Junior As he fades out Do you guys say anything to him? Yeah Well Barry Connick Senior

As he's fading away Is kind of like Splitting up Disintegrating Into motes of light So it's like Doobity doo Comet pizza basement

Jesus Christ And That's Barry for you Now you know Where Barry's Junior is Now you know where he got it from i blame the parents i know it's always the parents always the parents uh it says thank you my friends this is pedbrook says anyone else have any words of parting

just go read a book just a bunch of fans just paused to Google a comic piece of his. All right. I'll tell you right now, in terms of gear on this abomination, there is none. It was built to be another war machine. It is gear. It's a tank. Yeah. Just like that awful thing you fought in the room above where the worm tunnels were and that room full of just dead body parts

this is another one of these abominations and just think that like this was, this is possibly Skirkatla, certainly Nefandros and Onanfexia and Zoya Beta and Debellos the woman you fought inside of the chapel out in the ground, like this is their

plan, this is Urgothoa's plan take pieces of the strong the weak the whatever put them together and build an army of this to take over the world you know i'm just really surprised i'm honestly surprised and i don't want to uh sound, I don't know, I don't want to sound like a jerk, but it just seems very strange to me that at this stage, that that guy was so brazenly overconfident about his ability to just single-handedly wipe out the four of us. After four months and months, we have been coming for everyone and killed everyone. And then, like, I don't know. It's just so odd to me that they aren't, like, turtling up, all getting in the same room,

and just, like, trying to spring some trap on us, but scared and paranoid. Yeah. Like, I don't understand where all this comes from. We've got to be terrifying. Right. They don't fear death. No, but it's not that. It's not like he's like, I welcome death.

He's like, but your journey ends here in my lab. That overconfidence. Yeah. Like, where is it coming from? It's not even. It's defeat more than death. I think. Right.

I think it's all coming from. They should fear defeat. Right. The prophecy that Onan, Fexia, and Zoyae better talked about about the four-headed creature coming here and immediately attend i think any of them could have thought that they could have brought that to us and they all thought as sergeants or generals or just you know underlings and skirk hotless most powerful army ever at least what they think is the most powerful army ever that they were all capable enough to do the task,

and they would be rewarded by their officer for doing so. Yeah, that's how I see it, is they're more about the overconfidence than anything else. That's this almost insane level of hubris fueled by who knows what, but they feel like they know something we don't it's kind of like the interpretation of uh uh of braveheart in the movie where the english are like he's a you know a bandit they have they have yeah yeah they don't have respect for him they have no respect for the little folk into england and taking cities yeah and they're still just like he's a common bring it like yeah exactly you know cut off the head of the snake you're fine like yeah i guess

it's also too like until you guys rolled into town they had been crushing it those slaves represented the survivors of the villages upon villages upon villages that they just walked in and... Did whatever they wanted. Did whatever they wanted. Killed, maimed, stole. And then they were also able to do probably the most difficult thing for giants. They were able to unite them. Yeah.

They were frost giants. That's always been the one thing holding the giant folk back from world domination is that division within their own ranks. Right. Overcoming that, of course, like they would assume that it's like once they do that, that they would just sweep over all the. They're on easy street. I also like to think that as much as we're talking about this out of game, I'd like to think that part of us, our characters are having the same conversation. And a shiver runs down Baron's spine. Thinking about the divisions that were in the camp between the Hill Giants and the Orcs.

Leading on to the divisions inside of Urathosh's camp. They were much more organized, much more ready to fight, much more militant and trained. And they've even gotten more so once we got to Skirgard, I can't imagine what the camp is. If we live to leave this place, what the camp is that the elites are going to. Like, it's insane. That thing that we're relying on that you said was their weakness, I don't know if we can rely on it forever, and it's scary. Yeah, like we're now going to go fight the Navy SEALs. Yeah, right. You know what I mean? It's like the giant Navy SEALs. Yeah, like we're now going to go fight the Navy SEALs.

Yeah, right. You know what I mean? It's like the giant Navy SEALs. Yeah, exactly. It's like if Navy SEALs were all 18 feet tall, that's what we're going to fight. That doesn't seem very... That doesn't inspire confidence.

What do you guys want to do? Search the bottom. Search the bottom. Yeah, we definitely want to search these. And by the way way in the meantime pembroke is kind of internally like he's trying not to let on but he's shaken by like this flashback that he's having that's been clearly prompted by what's going on now it's like he because he knows what was in that envelope and he's wearing it do i know what was in the envelope

no no you don't and they're like there's almost like there's like a flush of adrenaline and fear and and no knowing what was in there and like what this pretends and all of a sudden you're like broken out of it by dahlgrave just laughing and like slapping of hard, like, in the lower part of your torso. Yeah. He just, like, snaps you out of it. And he's just like, ha, ha, ha, ha. Another close one, wasn't it?

But, of course, we got Alvin once again. I got to say, that bear was quite incredible. It was a wonder to behold. I would have clapped my hands if I could have moved them. Yes. I laid there thinking, oh, we got this. And, of course, you did once again. And you too, Ferrazza.

Incredible work with the tar. You're welcome. The shot to the leg. I got to say, I see the teamwork happening here. It's inspiring. These giants have got no chance against us. I just saw how precise you were just dabbing those giants in the neck. And I wanted to show you I could do it from range too, getting that leg.

That's how you got to fight me. You got to get right on them or fight them from range. Getting that leg. That's how you gotta fight me. You gotta get right on them or fight them from range. So, good choice. Well done. We do both. Yes. And we do both well,

don't we, Ferasa? It was a pleasure. Pleasure to witness in person. As always. And now, the most important thing of all. Balut. Search the bodies, right, Ferasa?

Yes! That was Matthew. Oh. I thought Ferasa's super into it too because she's always the one searching the bodies right away? Feyeraz, yes! That was Matthew. Oh. I thought Feyeraz was super into it, too, because she's always the one searching the bodies right away. No, that's just Matthew wanting to move things along. Oh. I don't want to move things along.

Well, it is 200. See? He's in on it now. I was having fun. I'm choosing just to hear the words you said, not the tone. So he said, correct, Matthew. It is 200, Matthew. Yes, yes, yes.

All right, so you search the bodies. Obviously, this creature doesn't have anything on it. But Nefandros does. He's wearing a masterwork breastplate. He has a masterwork scythe. They're both giant-sized. In his pockets, he has three keys. Oh, those keys are always good.

And his cloak, his long black cloak that he wears, is magical. She walks these hills in a long black cloak. And it's a wondrous item that will automatically resize to the person that rolls off. And let me just tell you,

you're all going to want this. Spell crap? Spell crap? You'll take that cloak of resistance. Throw it in the fucking pot of boiling fluid. Yeah, go ahead and spell craft it. 25.

Even higher. It was 25 exactly. It is a cloak of etherealness. Oh! Looks like our enemies are gonna need some ghost bangers. It seems to absorb

light rather than be illuminated by it. On command, standard action, the cloak makes its wearer ethereal, as per the ethereal jaunt spell. The effect is dismissible. The cloak works for a total of up to ten minutes per day. This duration need not be continuous, but it must be used in one minute increments. continuous but it must be used in one minute increments it is possibly the best magical item since aggramosh that has been dropped on this party i think i think that is so phenomenal

all of our conversations that we have had off air recently about the ethereal stuff yeah i'll get thrown out the window wow it's worth 55 because not only are you ethereal stuff. Yeah. All get thrown out the window. Wow. It's worth 55,000 gold pieces. Yeah, because not only are you ethereal, like all the defenses that implies you've got someone attacking you, but it also allows you as an ethereal creature to attack other ethereal creatures at full damage. To attack, to sneak attack, to crit, to all that. Precision damage. Yeah. Ugh, amazing.

Wow. Does that work for incorporeal or is it the same thing? Yeah. Incorporeal creatures can be crit and precision damage and all that stuff only by ghost touch weapons or ethereal creatures. Okay. So that's how it works. Yeah.

So it's like, you know how you have a magic weapon, you do half damage? Right. That weapon can't crit and can't do precision damage. Right. But if it's ethereal, if it has the ghost touch property, it can crit. It can do this. It's so much better than that. An ethereal creature is invisible, insubstantial, and capable of moving in any direction, even up or down, albeit at half its normal speed.

An ethereal creature can move through solid objects, including living creatures. An ethereal creature can see and hear on the material plane, but everything looks gray and ephemeral. Sight and hearing on the material plane are limited to 60 feet. Oh, that's cool. Wow. An ethereal creature can't attack material creatures, and spells you cast while ethereal can only affect

other ethereal things. They can walk through walls. They just be like, see ya, walk through walls. I don't know that it has, that incorporeal and ethereal are the same thing. Yeah, that's what I was- Oh, yeah, I guess that makes sense. They're two different things. But you're invisible and can walk through walls and can move up, down, side to side

with no penalty. It's so exciting, especially with a doula hand outside. Just immediately, just thinking about being able to walk outside and be like, is he there? You can just go ethereal. That's amazing. Walk through walls or him yeah i mean i'd like to make a strong case for dalgrith on this one pembroke would certainly support dalgrith's case for he has the highest wearing the obviously everybody's gonna

get a plus 20 so it's not that relevant but i mean i mean right now you're our only melee damage dealer but it's actually it actually wouldn't be that helpful for you in combat because you've But, I mean... I mean, right now, you're our only melee damage dealer. But it actually wouldn't be that helpful for you in combat. Because you have to spend it in a minute increment, and you can't touch anything on the material plane. Right, so I couldn't use it against normal creatures. I think it's actually more beneficial for somebody who... Like, for Pembroke, really. But, I mean, Pembroke can make himself invisible, you know, whenever. But not ethereal ethereal

he'd be he could just be immune to damage oh you can walk through walls and walk through walls visible it's basically like i can still cast my spells i can cast my i can cast my spells as an ethereal creature and they would still do damage but they only affect other ethereal creatures yeah if you want to do in combat is not the most useful thing in the world unless you're trying to escape could you cast would it allow him to cast teleport on us still if he was ethereal creatures. Yeah, if you want to do in combat, it's not the most useful thing in the world unless you're trying to escape. Could you cast, would it allow him to cast teleport on us still if he was ethereal?

Or would we have to be ethereal for it to be the targets of that spell? That's a good question. I think you have to touch the creature. No, it can only affect

only other ethereal things. Yeah, that's the thing. It's basically, I mean, I think its main use is for escape. And that's what Nefandros was planning

to do when it got back to his round before Baron lit him up. Just get the hell out of here. And escape and that's what nefandros was planning to do when it got back to his round before baron lit him up and get the hell out of here escape and espionage and infiltration it's a game changer it's a late game uh total game changer yeah for one character so who wants it it's garbage no no i mean i'll roll on it for sure i'll roll on it oh it's garbage none No. No, I mean, I'll roll on it for sure. I'll roll on it. Oh, it's garbage.

None of you want it, but I'll roll on it. I'll roll on it. No, no, no. I definitely want it. I'm just saying I thought that it would be really more powerful in my hands. Now I don't think that if you're reading it. It's a good idea. But I think it's powerful in anybody's hands.

It's equally powerful. Yeah, exactly. But don't forget, if you're wearing a cloak, whatever the bonus is, that cloak is currently And I am not wearing a cloak. Out the window. All right. Let's do a roll off here forget, if you're wearing a cloak, whatever the bonus is, that cloak is currently And I am not wearing a cloak. Out the window. All right, let's do a roll off here. I thought you were wearing the plus five cloak. Didn't we just talk about that?

No. Four bears had a cloak. We still have it. Dogra is not wearing a cloak. That's why his saves are garbage. Exactly. Yeah, I would like it. I rolled a natty 18.

I didn't want it. I'm glad i didn't want it because i got a two nine nine fair asa cool asa the person with the most escapability anyway we've all got the getaway though if you activate the cloak you wouldn't be subject to the getaway no exactly yeah that's what that's why we were saying it's dangerous for pembroke to have it oh he could be tempted to leave us all behind oh yes it's like the ring fuck there is a there is a door to the south hold on real quick you know it actually is like the ring too in terms of like when you activate it that's how you see the material plane it says it in the explanation. Everything takes a grayish hue.

Oh, that's cool. And you can see 60 feet. Obviously, he opened one door where this creature came out. There's another door mirroring it. There are these four vats, and there are doors leading out, which... Who has Dungeoneering? Baron? I have it. Baron has Dungeoneering. Let's I have it. Baron has Dungeoneering.

Let's roll on that. 15. 20. 20. You know those doors lead back... All right, 24. You know those doors lead back out to where you fought the Dullahan. There are some doors here on the west to what looks like another smaller room that we cannot

see right now. That's what i'm saying there's one door that that first creature came out and then there's another door that is not how's everybody doing oh right because we're on a different level right i am totally fine uh i'm down a little bit and i don't have well shoot wait hang on troy so i'm looking at the map right now and there's doors that i see would lead to the room with the dual hand on the east. Yeah. And then there's a door on the west.

Yep. That one door on the west mirrors the door that that awful creature came out of. Either way, I want to go... Do you want some healing? Yeah, I want to go open this door, but I am down 30. Also, when you say you want to open that door, Baron, and maybe you say that in character, but you don't. I do. But Baron...

I do. Baron looks at Dalgrith and maybe you say that in character, but you don't. I do. But Baron. I do. Baron looks at Dalgrith and says, hold on a minute, Dalgrith. We have some new power, mighty power that Feyraza wields. She can walk into that door, invisible, untouchable, and tell us what's inside and report back. All we got to do is wait a bit, and whatever's inside won't know better either way. I am... He looks to Farazza. That sounds like fun.

Eyebrows go up. However, you will not hear from me for another minute. Are you still a cat, or did you go back to Farazza? Enjoy your trip to the ethereal plane. I just love this cat wearing this little cloak. Meow. How much are you down? Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.

Meow. 31. All right, I'm going to do three on you. I mean, meow, meow, meow, meow. Meow. 31. All right. I'm going to do three on you. I mean, I have a cure. Serious. Do you want me to just use that? Oh, spell prepared?

Yeah. Oh, good. Go for it. 25. All right. 25. Not too shabby. Noice.

And nobody has restoration, right? Lesser. Yeah. Wow. Wow. This is really Yeah. Wow. Wow. This is really, really, really frustrating. Okay. All right. Did I buy a scroll of it?

No. I thought we talked about it. No, we didn't buy any scrolls because I wanted to buy it. Yep. Okay. Continue. Okay. So Farazza is going to wrap herself in the cloak and just kind of like, and she'll just blink out of,

off the material plane and into the ethereal plane and go into that door. She'll walk through the wall. You walk through the wall. Wow. And you just butt up against something that feels wet. I can't feel it. Well, you can feel this cause it's another one of those fucking awful creatures

that you just fought. Oh, no. Whoa. So, he was keeping his children separated. Is it? Okay. So, you're in there. Let me give you the reveal. It's an identical room, you know, 20 feet by 40 feet

or whatever, 50 feet, and there's another one of those creatures in there. Wow. Okay. And Dalgryd just wanted to open that door. Oh, yeah. We'd have such a hard time killing it. Oh, I forgot about that. I've got another minute. Farazza is going

to... And the disease that you've got. You've got nine more minutes, technically, so I say well, it's up to you but explore away i was going to just poke up into the other room over here is there i see a door is that a door behind the uh the northeastern most vat uh no no that's just a weird thing on roll 20 there's also by the way i'm gonna can i look at the map that we've already seen, like it was drawn in front of us, or do you want me to roll a

Dungeoneering to see a door that we haven't explored yet? No, no, there's no door you haven't explored. That door leads out to the Doolahan. That's the only other door. Well, there's a door in that chamber that we've seen before that has been unexplored. That's true. Oh, you

mean... Yeah, outside in the chamber with the dual hand. Right, right. We've got ten minutes. It wouldn't take that long. Oh, you mean you're directing her to go do that. I'm suggesting to Matthew, perhaps not as barren. Right, and that is the door where a cargrim said there was a secret entrance

into the throne room. Oh, that's the door. Yes. Alright, so Farazza will stroll on through, she'll go straight through all these walls and walk into that room. Oh, my God. So you go straight through these walls. The northernmost walls in the room. She's not on this plane.

All right. There's nothing that can stop her from walking. Nothing can hurt her. Nothing can possibly see her or hurt her. Not even God himself. Not even an ethereal creature on the other side. Ring race are going to show up. Yes, that would be the one thing.

That would be the thing that kills you. And you just see a maze. A maze? What? You look through and... I'm in the ideal maze navigation mode right now. If this is the kids menu at Stucky's, you could just draw a straight line right to the exit. If this is the kids menu at Stucky's, you could just draw a straight line right to the exit.

The walls of these passageways, they're rougher than the stonework of other areas. Now, you see everything in gray, but you can see it. It's protruding out. The ground looks dirty, dusty. I don't know. Can you feel like weather in ethereal? Probably not. I'm in a different plane.

You're in a different plane. You're in a different plane, but you do see like these giant-sized faces protruding from clusters in the walls where it looks like they've been mortared into place. It's very unsettling the way that these are looking at you

that's even more effed up because you're in another plane. Maybe words or symbols or runes are written into the walls, but it's just like a maze where do you go do you keep going straight do you go right do you go left well i'll check out i'll explore the maze but with i just always keep walking through the walls so you keep walking through i can't believe they get they put this item in this in this in this mountain i know

until i hit the ethereal creature i don't't know why. And as you're walking through, you see three large creatures. Oh, my God. They look like skeletons, but they have this weird, purple, disgusting sack that goes up from inside of them, like down at their pelvis, until their tongue comes out in this awful purple thing. Go ahead and roll a knowledge religion. I know exactly what they are. I don't think I have that. I don't have that. So I shall take a mental picture of them.

Okay. And remember to tell my friends. Yeah. A couple angles. Time is running out. You've been exploring this maze. You've got to go back. It's only 60 seconds.

Oh, no, you can keep it going. I can keep it going for 10 minutes. Yeah, but she's going. She's left going, right? I get it. I get it. I'm not even walking. I'm kind of just hovering. I'll go north some more. Go north some more? Okay. Time's running out there, Feyraza.

I'm keeping an eye on the clock. It's not in real time. You know, you're going. Going this way. Going that way. Going this way. Going that way. I don't have to navigate the maze. You're just covering all the ground. I'm just going. He's just going a diagonal line across the room and see everything.

All right, that's the entire maze. You only see three creatures. And do I see an exit to the maze? Since we know there's a secret entrance. Based on the walls of this room, you don't. You can try to start walking through walls. to the maze since we know there's a secret based on the walls of this room you don't you would have to you can like try to start walking through walls meanwhile Baron

you're looking around this room that you're in while she's gone or are you just hanging out I'm looking around the room we're in and I think I have a memory of the room we fought that undead mammoth in and I remember in both rooms,

there seems to be some sort of trail or path that's, like, lined by stones. And it seems I'm reminded of that same thing existing in this room. Hmm. Well, as you're looking around, finally, 198 episodes in, your stone cutting has paid off.

What? What? That's why I just asked to look at your iPad so I could do a secret check. Because you find a secret door. What? There's a secret door to the east. You see there's four vats, two to the north, two to the east. You see there's four vats.

Two to the north, two to the south. The northeast vat, about ten feet away, is a secret door in the wall. Oh, wow. You see it. Malfe Raza is off. She's gone, though. What are you doing? You don't know where I am.

I told you I'd be back. Dalgrith Pembroke. You're going to want to see this. Follow me. Dalgrith comes over. What you got, Ben? Pembroke hobbles over. What do you I'd be back. Dalgrith Pembroke. You're going to want to see this. Follow me. Dalgrith comes over. What you got, Ben? Pembroke hobbles over. Leaning on his staff. I don't know. Maybe I've just been down underneath the

mountains. I don't know how you missed it, Dalgrith. You're so impressive out there, but I saw this one. I feel pretty good about it. And then as he gets closer, he's like, ah, yes. I see it. I see what you're talking about. You see what I mean? It's a slim line that good catch my friend it's crude architecture it's not like dwarven stuff but i i'm gonna take a listen at

the ear and he pulls out a little little uh phonogram to put it up right to his ear and then he starts playing a little record um uh yeah so can i do a perception check of the door? Yeah. Natural 20. Oh, nice. Silence. 39. Complete silence. Baron, if we wait for a fair hour, do we take a peek? What do you think, Pembroke?

I think we take a peek. I think just a small peek. It might risk a little more light. Yes. On the situation. Risk makes me excited. You found the door. You do the honors.

I'm guessing the perception counts are trap finding or do you want me to do that separately? I'll do that separately. Fifteen. So a thirty-four. Looks okay. Okay. Baron's going to stealthily open it. Okay. Ooh. Pulled a Joe. Eighteen on the stealth. Yeah it. Okay. Ooh, pulled a Joe.

18 on the stealth. Yeah, and Dogwraith is like, oh my god. He like twitches. Is that an 18? He's like, that sounds about like an 18. Shponk. You see a small room with a chest at the southern portion. It's about 15 feet by 5, 10, 15, 20, 25,

30 feet long, 15 feet wide, and a chest at the end just sitting against the southern wall of this very simple, unadorned chamber. And Baron looks back. Who has the keys? Who has the keys? We found keys

on the men. No, I think I have them. And he pulls out. It's like, ding, ding, ding, the three keys. It's like holding them in his hand. Hold tight, Pembroke. In the monster hunting business, this is what we call a bit too easy of a find.

A treasure chest sitting alone in a room? It reeks of trouble. Be careful. Or I'll go in and check it out And let me know Perhaps you should Alright, seen one of these before Came alive, almost ate me for breakfast Are you talking about a mimic?

I'm talking about a mimic I've only read about him in books You saw one and lived to tell the tale? Oh yes, of course The mimic of Malgarives He saw it, saw it That's the one Yes, stabbed it right through the keyhole You've got to share some of these books you've read before Mimic of Malgarives. He's almost caught it. That's the one. Yes. That's the one.

Stabbed it right through the keyhole. You've got to share some of these books you've read before. I mean, I guess I could ask now. I could ask. You guys are telling me. Why is it when the living legend is standing here before you? All right. All right.

Let's, uh, I'm going to approach it quietly. If it comes alive and tries to eat me, you pull out that great gun of yours and put it to sleep quick. All right. He's going to come up stealthily to it. Okay. That is a 32. Okay.

And he will do a perception. Once he's five feet away, he'll do a perception on it just to see if there's any trouble see any traps anything like that natural one natural one natural one good job joe natural one good job yeah i mean it's fine okay uh and it's not but it's locked not locked well you see a keyhole uh you perceive it and uh it does appear to be locked but But there's a key hole. Alright, so try a key. Did Pember give you all three of the keys? Yeah. Alright, so you try one key.

Nothing. You try the second key. It opens. Opens up and a ray shoots out at you. What? Of course. Obviously.

Obviously. 21 against touch. Oh, that's probably a hit. Yeah, that's a hit. Oh, boy. Look at his dumb grin. He loves this. Oh, my God.

Oh, boy. This is a hell of a way to kill the newest character. Well, I mean, it's not a surprise. This is exactly what I said was going to happen. It opens up. Well, not exactly, but... This ray hits you, and you just start feeling crazy weak. But as you start to topple

to the ground from this weakness, you see untold amazing treasure inside of it. But you take five negative levels. Oh, no! And we'll see you next week. Oh, no! Episode 200!

Oh! Five negative levels. Oh, no! Episode 200. No! None! Five negative 11. The Glass Cannon Podcast is a Glass Cannon Network production and is an officially licensed partner of Paizo Incorporated. Giant Slayer is copyright 2015. Giant Slayer and the Pathfinder Adventure Path are trademarks of Paizo. All Pathfinder images are property of Paizo and are used with permission.