The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 209 - Character Cremation

Episode Date: May 28, 2019

After being found not guilty by the dwarven tribunal, the heroes are free to explore Kraggodan before setting off in search of Ashpeak. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast. I mean, if you're in Kragadan, you hate to leave without doing all the Kragadan touristy things. But at the same time, you can't see it all in one day. You really can't. So... The heroes explore the Sky Citadel. May you toil at the Forge long, brother. I will see you again if Torek wills it.

And take care of unfinished business. see you again if Torag wills it. And take care of unfinished business. Hey, Raza was a servant of nature, but even in her own druidic obedience, she saw the strength of the small folk. Pembroke, oh, Pembroke,

never has there been a more appropriate title for a man than Pembroke the Pope. Before they set out on their most dangerous mission yet. Yeah, so you're looking at about three or four days. Moving at a normal overland pace. Funny you should mention that.

The adventure continues. Go on. Now. what is going on everybody? It's your old buddy Troy. And I've got a guest with me today. Hey, what's up Joe? Are you just stalling because you have no idea what to talk about? I just want to make you laugh. That's all. I get more joy out of making others laugh.

How you doing? Welcome to the intro. I'm excited, man. I'm doing great. Now I'm tearing up. I'm laughing so hard. Nailed it. Joe and I, we're packing up The office here To head out

To PaizoCon tomorrow Now obviously You guys are listening To this And PaizoCon 2019 Is done And we're long dead And we're long dead

From alcohol poisoning At the live show Scotch poisoning Mostly scotch poisoning But yeah We've This is This has become

A tradition for us now Like day before we fly out We come here Packing up merch Fold folding T-shirts, packing up dice, jam screens, making sure we have all our cables. Starting to plan what we're doing for the weekend. Right, right, starting to actually write the show.

But, yeah, it's pretty exciting. Are you looking forward? This is going to be your second PaizoCon, my third PaizoCon. Yeah, second PaizoCon. Very much so looking forward to it. Now that we know the lay of the land a little bit better. We know the rhythm and the feel and the way the days shake out and everything.

I mean, and we kid. We have a lot of plans already in motion, and so we're really excited for those to come to fruition. Yeah, our dance card is particularly full this year. We've got the Jason Bullman, Eric Mona Pathfinder 2nd Edition three-session playthrough happening on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. We just got our character sheets from Jason Bowman. From Jason Bowman! Made me a character. Yeah, handwritten.

And it's handwritten. I was like, this is a collector's item. It really is. I was very excited to get it, and I'm excited to work on it. We've got that going on. Again, this has already all happened, but you, Grant Grant and I are doing a panel on actual play podcasting, and Skid and Matthew are doing a panel on character backstory, and then we have the live show.

So we're pretty amped about all that's about to go down. We got this show that just happened. Again, this is all happening in the past from the future, but then we've got a nice little break, and it's glass cannon live back with a bang two shows at gen con which probably by the time of this recording they have both sold out yeah we got a notice from the venue right and uh from our agent saying there were under 20 tickets left for both shows uh we were just like what that's two shows at gen con so and those are bigger than any other venue we've had except dallas i believe so so yeah that's pretty it's pretty exciting and we

were so on the fence so going back and forth about whether or not we could even pull off two live shows and if we if we thought we could do it could we sell two live shows and now they're i mean i think the first one's already sold out the other one's got a few tickets left. Right. So I think we've shown we could sell two live shows at Gen Con. However, we don't know that we can pull off two live shows at Gen Con. One thing at a time, Joe. One thing at a time. You're jumping ahead of yourself a little bit there, buddy.

And then we got Dragon Con in Atlanta, the Masquerade. I'm really excited about that one because it's going to be our first Dragon Con. Yeah. And tickets are still available for that. And then the Bootleg Theater in L.A. Back to L.A. People are sleeping on those tickets. They're like, they're kind of slowly moving.

There was a bunch at first, but now they're slowly moving. I'm telling you, it's going to be, you're going to wake up one day and be like, I feel like getting tickets to the Bootleg. Sold out. Can't do it. You know what's not slowly moving? Boston. Yeah, Boston.

That is going to be gonzo before L.A. probably. VIP is sold out, right? Oh, yeah. VIP is sold out. Toot. So that's my old stomping grounds. Might have a whole Valley Clan sitting in the back. Standing room.

Just standing room. Sorry, Mom. You got to stand. I can't give up seats. Every seat is money. And I think we might even be announcing one more show for this year soon um and then that's going to be it we will never do another rock tour yeah we're trying to narrow that last one down but can we bring it back to the show at hand the glass cannon podcast

we're getting into book five now getting into book five i mean we're really getting into it now and what an intro to a book you must be enjoying this i i enjoy sometimes i get to do an edit and i'm like i just don't feel like reliving this episode you know what i mean like it was very stressful or it was like too much this one i couldn't wait to listen to again and i felt the same way going into this episode that you're about to listen to episode 209 i just feel like we're in a good place with the story yeah Yeah. And the role playing opportunities are there, but they don't feel too. I don't want to say they don't feel too sandboxy. Like we feel like we kind of know what we need to do.

We have a certain objective, but that doesn't change the fact that we have to figure out how we're going to do that and how we're going to proceed. that uh that that wrench thrown into our machine last week where all of a sudden you you're in this position like oh my god i thought we were going to be ranging down to ash peak and now we're on trial for murder like that was that was not uh what i initially expected but it made for such a fun introduction to the dwarves of kragadan yeah uh and so excited to explore kragadan excited to eventually figure out how even we're going to get to Ashby. Yeah. You know, a lot of times with these books, the transition between books, the writers are like, you figure it out. And I'm like, all right, what am I going to do?

And I was just really happy the way it all turned out and the way you guys ran with it and i was i kept telling you like i didn't know how that was going to end until you ended that speech of dalgrith being like those aren't that is not just a senseless murder these are what did you say i said uh they're not don't consider the murder victims they are the first casualties of a war that is coming from from the south i love that it's like you're already in this war whether you commit to it or not yeah you've already lost men in this war and women and so it's you're already pot committed yeah you know that was great and you know what i think we should just go right into episode 209 joe we got to finish packing all right buddy last week reminded me there was one thing one thing that this show was really missing and that is more courtroom drama yeah it's just the one the one area we really haven't delved into let no one old-fashioned courtroom drama let no one say that we can't hop around genre that's right

and people have said that people have said that. People have said that. How dare they? How dare they? I mean, it just goes to show you why the courtroom drama is just such an easy thing to make. Many different TV shows, primetime films, because it's just, it's so easy. There's just such great material there to make good drama out of. Do you guys have a favorite courtroom drama movie? Movie?

Yeah. I'll give you mine as a place to start. Mine is The Verdict. It is a classic. I believe Mamet wrote the script. I think it's David Mamet wrote the script. It's directed by Sidney Lumet. Or Sidney Lumet, I think they say.

Lumet. And it's got Paul Newman, and it takes place in Boston. Paul Newman plays this just like ambulance chasing down on his luck lawyer. There's this great scene where he goes in this bar like right outside of Boston Common in the morning before he goes to his office. And he just points to the bartender. The bartender's like, hey, what's up? Puts a beer down, and he cracks two raw eggs into the beer and chugs it.

And that's his breakfast before he goes into his law office. That is so great. The verdict, it's so fantastic. Just a meeting of the minds. You have Mamet Lumet And Paul Newman All set in Boston Can't beat it

Grant you got a favorite Courtroom drama Academically It's 12 Angry Men Okay 12 Angry Men Not a courtroom drama But it's

A great great movie Legal drama A couple others I'll allow it It is perfectly legal Yes That is a perfectly legal drama. I defy anyone to say otherwise.

Big fan. Again, this might not count, but it's legal. Legally Blonde 2. Legally Blonde 2. It's beautiful. It's his favorite. The two others are... Can you just pick one?

Because, you know, we have to answer two. What's your favorite one is the question. In a courtroom. How much of this movie is in a courtroom? I will venture to say that 12 Angry Men counts because so much of the unfolding of the court case is done in the room. No, the court case has already happened. Yeah, but they go over everything. Literally, the courtroom drama is over when that movie starts.

No, it's just beginning. Are you kidding me? The jury room drama is just beginning. They're realizing things they didn't realize. I'm not debating it. Matthew would like to play better. It's an amazing movie. No, it's an amazing movie.

It's just not a courtroom drama. Fuck. Come on, Google Burger. Oh, Michael Clayton. Michael Clayton. Not a courtroom drama. Oh, fuck. He literally knows there's like one and a half scenes in a courtroom.

All right, so- Mimel Fear. Aaron Brockovich. Oh. All right, My Cousin Vinny for Grant. Let's go to Skid here. I've never seen My Cousin Vinny.. All right. My Cousin Vinny for Grant. Let's go to Skid here. I've never seen My Cousin Vinny.

It's an amazing movie. Yeah, I will. Well, I was going to say because last night I was playing Stellaris until like 6 a.m. Last night? Last night.

Every night. Most nights. Most nights. And I put on something to like make sure that no monsters uh sneak up behind me because the tv scares them away i don't know if you know that but uh i put on a time to kill i was watching a time to kill time to kill is amazing yeah it's a

little little dated little dated but it is you know i had never really seen it it was like oh it's pretty good you know when you're playing a uh space uh forex video game but i will my real answer is my cousin vinny i love that movie it is ralph machia's fourth best film and also like they a lot of like legal people will say that that is one of the most accurate courtroom movies that's ever been made really it's all it's all about civil procedure yeah like as far as like procedure goes like they they will say that that's one of the most accurate depictions of an actual trial. Academy Award winner, Marissa Tomei. She's so good in that movie.

She's great. The haters can go fucking wild. Her Oscar from that. All right, Matthew, what's yours? I'm sure it's going to be some French flick, French New Wave Godard flick. No, I like... Le courtroom bleu. He's a...

Le courtroom bleu. That might be one of your best puns ever made. It's early guitar. He's a true faux fan and you know it. It's true. I mean, the classic would be like Anatomy of a Murder, which I do love. That's Hitchcock, right? No.

No. It's, oh, fuck me. That was not my answer so okay um i feel like you're premature i'm just looking in terms of cover boxes because i worked at blockbuster so yeah that's a great saul um what's his face uh yeah otto preminger but uh no i mean that's i think it's with jimmy stewart and that cover box me saying hitchcock wasn't wasn't a bad guess it's the same it's with Jimmy Stewart and that cover box. Me saying Hitchcock wasn't a bad guess. It's the same artist.

Saul Bass. Oh, it's a Saul Bass. It's a Saul Bass poster. Music by Duke Ellington. There's a great Harrison Ford and Alan J. Picoula movie, Presumed Innocent. That's a great one. With Ronald Giuliano. Yes, and that's a great twist that was ruined for me by a kids in the hall sketch well i love what

a way to go yeah i loved that book presumed innocent yeah and and it's so because i sat down to read it and i was like it's first person and i don't really go for first person books i just prefer third person books and i was like oh god it's a first person book and i was like that's fine it's pretty good i reading it. I'll keep reading it. And then as it, I mean, by the time you're on chapter three or four, you're like, this could not be written any other way than first-person. I've never read it. Yeah, it has to be only from the one guy's perspective for the story to work. It's really well done.

Joe, you got a favorite? All-time courtroom drama. Few Good Men. That's my number one. That's classic. All-time favorite. Arguably Tom Cruise. That's my number one. That's classic. All-time favorite. Arguably Tom Cruise's best performance. It's so good.

It's so good. The trial is so good. It's so dramatic. I thought you were going to say Inherit the Wind. Oh. Yeah. That's also very good. Never heard of that.

Did they lose? No. No, it's Spencer Tracy. Frederick March. Yeah. Frederick March. Yeah, Frederick March. That was another play. A lot of these courtroom dramas were plays first because they were so easy to just do in one location.

I saw the revival. I sat on stage in the fake gallery of the courtroom for Inherit the Wind with Christopher Plummer and Brian Dennehy. Oh, wow. That sounds good. It was pretty cool. Oh, you know, another one we forgot. Probably the only Oscar winner for Best Picture here, and I could be wrong, is Kramer vs. Kramer.

Oh, God. I mean, that's an unbelievable movie. But so few of it is in there. Also really dated. Yes. Apparently, Dustin Hoffman was insanely monstrous to Meryl Streep in the movie. Well, he was at the height of his method acting, so he was doing that on purpose. And she was, I'm making air quotes here, like she she was like a rookie actor even though she was fucking meryl

street but like apparently he would do like because john gazelle was like dying during the filming that movie and had like just died and he was like torturing her about it going back to kramer it's so good kramer real quick just to tie it back into um jokes that we normally make do you ever see when uh stallone hosted snl and there's a sketch where he's playing himself at the scene of a car accident and uh oh yeah yeah mcdonald is like dying in the front seat and uh service alone is coming over to try and like help him but they need like the jaws of life are on their way and norm mcdonald is just very dryly insulting Stallone's entire career. While he's like waiting for the jaws of life to come.

Stallone's trying to be nice. And he's like, he starts making fun of, what is it, Over the Top? Oh, yeah. You know, Kraver vs. Kraver was another great film that dealt with the complexities of child custody matters. You know what it lacked? That one thing. Oh, yeah. Arm wrestling.

At the end, Stallone just punches him. Knocks him unconscious and he dies. That Norm Macdonald delivery is, you can't beat it. You can't beat it. I was going to say say is there a frank stallone punch yeah it's like you got it frank anywho you guys uh were were were presumed innocent uh you you you got a uh worked out really well you got a ruling in your favor but not only that you've got a powerful ally now yeah um i said to to you, Joe, as we were going off the air, that like your speech really nailed it home.

Nailed it home for me, because obviously I wanted you to succeed. But the way you put it was like those 11 deaths, you are now part of this war, whether you like it or not. That wasn't just a random killing. That is a killing that has now brought you into this war. The mothers and fathers, the sons and daughters of those people are going to mourn them forever, and they should mourn them not as just being a senseless loss, but as a part of something bigger. So now the tribunal sort of dissipates, and you were given great hospitality, even though you were brought in to be tried.

But now the hospitality has been extended to give you full run of the city. It's understood that you're not to go in. I didn't know that winning a trial, it's like winning the lottery. It's like, please. It's like winning a prize. It's like, here's a brand new city that you can play around in. Haven't you seen Chicago? That's true.

Good point. When is the ribbon cutting, though? Are we going to have a big scissors? They give you lodging. They offer you lodging. It's not like the Ritz. It's certainly nicer than Skelton, though. It's kind of our bad lodging.

Our bad. Here's a nice place to stay. Sorry to put you on trial for a minute. As long as no elderly wizards apparate in the middle of the night, we're fine. Yeah. How about shadow creatures? Because that's what's going to be happening from now on. You get your own room.

No, they offer you lodging, and it's surprisingly nice. They say you have full access to what they call the upper fastness, which is basically everything that's above ground. It's understood that you're not to go into the mountain hold. That's really only for the dwarves. And there are dwarves within the society that aren't even allowed down there. That is sort of where they retreat to when shit gets bad. And, I mean, you would know, especially you, Baron,

that there are tunnels that lead straight to the dark lands yeah um the story of kragadad is actually pretty interesting and so the longer you hang out here you find out um basically when the star stone fell to earth and the earth shook and uh the dwarves realized they could begin their quest for sky. They could come out. Some dwarves didn't. They chose to do one of two things for the most part, like worship evil deities and become even closer to the darkness underground, and then others would retreat.

While all the other dwarves were sort of making their way above ground, some dwarves would go back down deeper to go to places that other dwarves never went before because they figured now's our chance let's see what treasures are down there kragadon was one such dwarf who went down to retrieve stuff and he retrieved this amazing artifact um and he then came back up once he got that and he realized its powers, I don't want to talk about the artifact too much because it's tied into another adventure path, but once he realized its powers, he said,

you know what, now I'm going to go up. And he had followers with him at this time that followed him to the surface. But as they were going up, they were besieged by orcs, and so they would fight orcs time and time again. And at one point in in the battle he died on the quest back so the dwarves that followed him that survived took the artifact came above ground and named the sky citadel after their hero craig that's awesome um and that is the city that you

are now in and so i showed you that picture last week of the the dwarven face with the fist coming out of the wall like that is what this city looks like. That's Kragadan? Yeah, that's Kragadan. Oh, that's so cool. That is straight out of Backmatter for another adventure path that has that picture. So awesome. And imagine, that is just what the city looks like.

Just more images of great giant heroes. Probably one of them is Kragadan. And then the other ones are other leaders um the the prince his lineage has like his father and his father's father their faces are carved in the mountains as well yeah there must be just just all these different depictions of oh they must have must be so many dwarves like worthy of being memorialized like in these places so many heroes hundreds and hundreds just yeah and he told you cenotaphs everywhere the cenotaphs as far as i can see that they were involved with the shining

crusade and the war against the whispering tyrant they were involved with this uh thing called the rending which we won't get into but that happened the five kings mountains um so they've been involved in a lot of stuff and now they are pledging themselves to the Great War, the one that is happening right now. A couple things I want to do, just sort of housekeeping-wise. I want you to tell me what you want to do in Kragadan, because obviously, you know, we've hand-waved a lot of the selling of merchandise, the resizing of gear, the selling of the resized gear the swapping around of equipment so i'm sure there's still some more shopping you want to do so i kind of want to know what you're interested in buying um i also want to talk about because i realize we haven't done

this yet because there's just been so much else happening i want to talk about the level up of the dwarves of the level up of uh dalgrith and baron right you're level 13 13 13 lucky number 13 four episodes ago yeah that was a while ago i just you know i thought about last week i had it in my notes and then i just forgot um i was just thrilled to be able to add all those actress skill points into knowledge religion to beat uh dalgrith i can't believe you did that so worth it and they all stayed in religion i'm assuming yep i want to talk about that and i also want to talk about um pembroke and fayraz's remains that was right next to my uh note to go over your leveling last week and we just got we got

into a certain point in the episode i realized like i can't i can't go back and do that stuff now so i want to kind of touch base on that right up front. So let's first, let's just start. Just a fun, casual conversation amongst friends about level 13 Baron Ashpeak. What the hell? Bear, bear. I'm assuming this is where you finally took that wizard dip. Oh, no.

I actually multiclassed into another system. I'm a technomancer now. Oh, nice. It's pretty exciting. We should have discussed this before. This is going to turn into Iron Gods at some point, right? There's going to be Android. Yes.

I might bring it in, man. No, another level of Inquisitor of Torek. Does that make you 7'6 now? 7'6. We're close to parody. It's funny. I'm thinking about this now. Like, what age will I be?

The parody, it's funny, I'm thinking about this now, like, what age will I be? At 38, I will have lived the same amount of time in New York State as I will have in Texas. Wow. And then I will have to give up all of my birthright to Texas. Yeah. It will be my Ash Peak Mountain at that point. Wow, you have to hand over your revolver and your spurs. And the hat that never fit my head just swim over to ellis island throw it off the out of her crown it'll be like the last scene in half baked where

dave chapelle throws the joint off the bridge the mary jane you remember that um so it's it's a pretty big deal uh among some of the things that happened are I have three base attacks now. Wow. That puts me at four with rapid shot. Wow. God in heaven. For some reason, I thought that would only happen if you kept leveling up gunslinger. That makes me sick.

Finally happened. It makes me so sick that I feel like it's wrong. Well, I think it's wrong. Wait, wait, wait, wait wait inquisitors are uh plus one base attack bonus like they're bab every level three quarter but huh okay uh i'm trusting here a lab at this point we can we can go to the tape later but yeah i mean i think you have haste clicked i do not twice i think you have it clicked twice uh former combat yeah sixth level inquisitor still doesn't get two attacks uh an inquisitor doesn't get two attacks till eighth level yeah so they don't get

three attacks until 15 i think it might be a culmination of all of them i wish i hadn't brought this up on air because i feel like you walked to this session just being like how can i lie to not only my friends but to the listening audience today. And that's what you opened with. So tell me what other fake powers your new character has. Okay, so I'll do that. I get a new bonus teamwork feat. I decided a really appropriate one for Baron would be called Duck and Cover. Ooh, that's perfect.

Perfect for Baron, perfect for Grant. Whenever I'm adjacent to an ally who also has this feat, both of you are required to make a reflex saving throw against the spell or effect. You may take the result of your die roll or that of your ally. If you take your ally's result, you are knocked prone or staggered on your next turn if you are already prone. And you get a plus two bonus to your AC against ranged attacks.

So it's like a bottle cap for every reflex save. Well, as long as you're next to an ally. Does anyone else have that fee? They don't need to because I have the Inquisitor ability, which allows me to share solo tactics. Solo tactics. Classic. I was just thinking, do you have rapid fire on or one of those things?

No, I don't. You don't, yeah. No, when I turn on rapid fire, in fact, I have four attacks. It's just horrible. It just doesn't add up. And there are no conditions or adjustments going on here. Remind me not to get into combat this episode until we have someone far more advanced at this game.

Look at your character. I also got a new spell i took a cure mod or it wound little cure mod uh and i also got a feat the feat i took oh boy was improved critical oh i now crit on a 19 to 20 wow that's a good that's a good feat choice it was i should have taken a while ago but I now crit on a 19 to 20 with my double barrel pistol. Wow. That's a good feat choice. It was. I should have taken it a while ago, but, you know.

No, I think now's the time. What was the last feat you took two levels ago? Extra grit. Yeah. I mean, that's great, too. Obviously, this is going to help counterbalance the fact that you misfire on what a one to four. Yeah, especially if I'm shooting more often. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I like it. I like it, Grant. Yeah. Once you figure out that giant mistake that's going to break the game open i'm really excited to see this character are you glad that you multi-class now that you're almost at a seven seven yeah i am i mean um i think that some of the it's mostly been a benefit from a storytelling perspective and deepening baron that way but um fun to have some other things i wish i could use touch of law more often yeah that's one of those powers like you just think you're going to be able to use but like you're not i feel like there would have to be a

situation in which my guns didn't work but i knew that jimmer was going to hit automatically on an 11 and like i would use my turn to like it would be very situational yeah yeah but then that's only for one yeah attack but it's still you know if it was really i don't know yeah weird yeah but it's also your first level ability it's true i mean i now have supposed to be that powerful you know some of my judgments are better they're at plus three for a lot of them and then my uh resistance to elements that I get to choose when I activate the judgment is at six now. All right.

So just a six DR against whatever element of my choice. Hey, that's pretty good. Not bad. Joey Jojo. Hey, buddy. How did you bring Dalgrith from such a powerhouse martial fighter to an even more powerful martial combat combatant i'm picking up on your sarcasm what are you talking about i'm just uh expounding on how great of a damage dealer you're so worth your character is uh tends to be your bad friend i think that he is uh i think he's quite great

and i think he's i just have to you know He doesn't have a lot of wide range of various enemies that he can be very powerful against, but the ones that we're coming up against, he should do well. So yeah, 13th level, nothing that special. He got a feat that I'm not going to talk about because it's actually... The funny thing is, it's actually building on

his build that he already had and the cool stuff that he can already do and could have already done but basically couldn't do it through the entire book for uh adventure pretty much because it just stuff that didn't work against undead oh so uh i'm curious to see if he could fight some non-undead creatures and then bust out some of this fun stuff. Did you get more sneak attack dice? I did. I did. I got an additional sneak attack dice.

It's a 76 sneak attack damage. Nice. So that'll be pretty cool. Let me ask you this. Without you telling us what the feat is, is it a feat that helps you get into positions where you can use your sneak attack more? No. No. feat that helps you get into positions where you can use your sneak attack more no no i will tell you that it is a feat that helps me do uh like apply conditions to enemies ah so you know it allows us to shake up the fight well if you can put somebody flat-footed that would certainly help

right exactly like rather than just dealing a lot of damage i can do other things uh it should be fun so uh once that it'll come up pretty soon. Yeah. We've seen that your character, like once that sneak attack, surprise round, flat footed, flanking goes out the window, you scramble a little bit. Yeah. So giving yourselves a couple more tools in your tool bag is going to help when that happens, because it happens a lot.

Right. Yeah, it does. And so basically, if he's not in a perfect position with the perfect stab, the perfect slice, he doesn't deal a lot of damage. But the way that this build is working, he will be able to do things to these enemies besides deal damage, which should help make them better targets for his allies. So we'll see. But you know what I didn't do is roll hit points. Oh. I just realized.

We should roll some HP. Grant, did you already roll yours? I have not. Oh, let's do it. I'm excited. Go ahead, Dalgirth. That's for you. Joe, what are you?

D8? D8. Good. Make sure that I don't accidentally grab a D. Grab that D10 real quick. All right. All right. Here we go. D8. All right. Here we go.

D8. D8. Here we go. Five. One. Come on, man. Five's great. Five's great.

I know. Whatever. What are you there? Look at this. 13 levels. Ready? Two eights. Four.

Seven. Seven. Yes. All right. All right. All right, so are you ready to hear the explanation for why I'm at three attacks? I want to hear the explanation of the mistake you made that gave you three attacks.

No, there's no mistake here. The second and third attacks are calculated by subtracting five from your base attack bonus. If the number is still positive, you get another attack. Six fighters, six barbarian would have plus 12 bab total subtract five still positive plus 12 plus seven subtract five still positive equals plus 12 plus seven plus two yeah i know how that works how is your base attack bonus plus my base attack bonus i was uh accelerating or or or receiving credits at a higher base bonus when I was a fighter class.

So I got two attacks at sixth level as a gunslinger. I stopped at seventh level. So the additions to my base attack bonus, if you add up all of them from six plus four to plus seven, gets me to that level, to my understanding of the math. Now, we can talk about this later sure sure that's very interesting you would normally if you'd stayed gunslinger you wouldn't get three attacks to an 11th level right so i guess over an 11th right so because you are okay yeah just adding it even though you're multi-classing it doesn't reset everything you still gain you just gain a little bit slower so does jimmer have three attacks yeah oh okay i

thought you got him at 13th as a fighter. No, no, no. That's why I was like, this doesn't make sense. You get him at 11th. So now when you rapid fire, four attacks. Four attacks. And you crit 19 to 20. We're talking...

What about when you're hasted with rapid fire? Five attacks. Guys, this is why I told you to bet the under on book five. Get through it. Against giants, hastedasted That's a plus 16 Plus 16 Plus 11 Plus 6

Against To touch Against Against regular AC Plus 16 Plus 16 Plus 11 Plus 6

Against touch From 40 feet away Amazing Great No I think This is what it should be But misfires Are going to come into place

And your monsters Are going to get more And more powerful Misfires are going to Come into place, and your monsters are going to get more and more powerful. Misfires are going to come into place. These monsters are going to get more powerful. They're going to be more intelligent, and they're still going to come up, and if they hit twice, do 100 hit points worth of damage.

Yeah, I'm dead. Which is going to force you to be like, Ah, shit! You're going to be misfiring all the time. It's going to be an interesting book. All those die rolls. Yeah, I mean, if I may, since there might be a chance now that we have access to everything if we just spend 35 000 more dollars on my gun it will become reliable greater and have a zero percent

chance does everyone else want nothing yeah yeah how does that sound well let's rob a bank before we get over here before we get into this big old shopping spree here, I want to talk about Pembroke and Feyras a little bit. Obviously, you know, when last book ended, we hand-waved the travel back to Skelt and then the travel to Minderhall's Cathedral, and we said, we're going to deal with this later. I don't want to go too long without getting a real sense of,

closure isn't the word, but like an idea of what happened with their remains. What do you guys think? Did you take them to the cathedral? Did Pembroke or Feyraza ever have conversations with Baron, you know, over campfire? Like, you know, if this ever happens, this is what I want you to do. Maybe Baron had the same conversations with them. The amount of certain death we face. It might be good to just kind of establish.

It might have came up, yeah. Have a last will and testament, at least verbal, with your traveling partners. What do you guys think? with your traveling partners. What do you guys think? This is as much a question to Skid and Matthew as it is the ones carrying the remains. I think I don't know. I mean, I'm guessing what Matthew's going to say.

I think that Pembroke would like his ashes spread in Assyrian. I mean, I think that's where like he, I think he has a real connection to that country, but would he have told us that, um, you might be able to kind of surmise it based on kind of, because part of it is too, is like,

you know, what we're kind of suggesting is that there are way more conversations that we, the party and the listeners weren't privy to because they were together for so long and you're doing something so terribly dangerous like i'm sure that yeah this is the guy who from the minute we met him talked about he had seen his own death yeah you know and that's where he learned about it was an assyrian and you know that's kind of the land of you know the kind of everlasting life defiance of death um but you know he speaks ancient Assyriani um we talked Pembroke and Ferrazzum must have had lots of things to talk about yeah yeah I'm sure they probably had like lots of conversations like in a language that nobody else understood yeah um but i think yeah i think he had real a

real love for that region so i think he would want to be there in the the river payraza and faraz would also like her ashes spread faraz wants to be spread at the academy or the arcanarium yeah yeah as you know they were such a good couple right in front of capify that's where i have my favorite kegger so you two would want to be spread in osiria yeah along the along the banks of the river where she uh where her her juridic circle practiced. Yeah, so do you think you probably brought them obviously Pembroke was

already converted to an ash form but you brought them maybe to the cathedral and had a ceremony where Farron could preside along with Baron speaking for Torag to burn Feyraza in the forge of Minderhall and collect her ashes.

Or is that weird? No, I don't think it's weird. I actually think we would have done it outside, knowing her druidic past. I think we could be we yeah in the fields maybe with the shadow of the now unitarian church of minder hall um yeah it's certain you could go right outside yeah i think that's where she would feel free she loved being a bird so much i would want whatever errant embers left the funeral pyre that were to convert her body from its whole shape into a pile of ashes to be able to escape to the sky as often Feyraza wanted to do. I'll put you on the spot here, Grant,

and just flashing back a little bit to you guys being at the cathedral and her body is burning and you have the ashes of Pembroke and and you know at some point, maybe you yourself will be able to travel to Assyria and pay homage to them in the way that they wanted to be. Do you say anything as Feyraza is being consumed by these flames? Feyraza was a servant of nature, But even in her own druidic obedience She saw the strength of the small folk The potential for all of us To be greater than what we were born to be

And I honor her through this ceremony Pembroke. Pembroke, oh Pembroke, never has there been a more appropriate title for a man than Pembroke the Potent. I learned more from him through what he did not say than what he did at times. I learned the importance of patience, I learned the importance of patience. And I learned that sometimes speaking is more powerful than acting. It is with great sadness, but also with great pride, that I send these two souls off into the grasp of Phrasma who will decide their fate.

But I know, as an Inquisitor of Torag, that the Great Builder smiles upon their lives, and they will be honored in the afterlife in ways that we could not imagine within this mortal coil. I don't say much sentimental on my journeys, but I will say that I love these two people with just about all of my heart. And I wish them well on their way. Takes his hat off. Bows. And walks away.

The wind picks up and lifts some of Feyraza's ashes into the air. And you see them kind of spin around and flourish very deliberately. And for a moment, you think, Feyraza is with you. And you felt the presence of Pembroke ever since that light filled the room and felt him with you. Graham, we'll go ahead and give you a bottle cap.

Yeah, all right. There you go, buddy. I really threw that at you, and you knocked it out of the park. So I imagine, Baron, that's where your head is at as the tribunal area is emptying, and you are now given a run of the city. and you are now given a run of the city. You can go back to your rooms and you now know that you need to gear up and head to Ashpeak.

What do you want to do in Kragadan? Dalgrath definitely wants to relax a little, a few drinks. The baths. Catch up with Baron and gear up in a big way. I mean, they have a lot of coin. And so he wants to get ready for a serious fight. Matthew, I saw you sort of spearheading this off-air

over a couple weeks. You guys were talking about the amount of stuff that you had, loot and whatnot. When all was said and done, because there's no reason to go through all of this, how much money did you have to split between the four of you?

Hold on, I've got joe uh deleted the loot sheet oh from our shared google drive how did you even do that uh it was an accident um it was also not updated for about seven months wow so it was matthew's fault that's simply not true every time we forget something. Okay. But regardless, we ended up having about, I think it was like 60,000, 70,000 gold. Did you guys do even split or did somebody want a new gun? Well, we had communal items that we had on a wish list.

We had like a group shopping list and then we each had a kind of a wish list item. And so we each got something cool. Well well tell me what that cool thing was did you guys literally each get one very cool thing we well we each spent about the same okay i got two very cool things what'd you get uh i got don't tell what it won't change my tactics i got have none. I have none. I added to my short sword collection. I got a plus one ghost touch short sword. Ah. Just to have. Yeah. Just in the event of anything incorporeal.

But the thing I'm really excited about is I got boots of speed, which I am so pumped about. We did debate just doing the money just to get us all Boots of Speed. Yeah. And what does it give you? Boots of Speed. As a free action, the wearer of Boots of Speed can click her heels together, letting her act as though affected by a haste spell for up to 10 rounds per day. Just for movement or for all the effects of haste?

All the effects of haste. Are you fucking kidding 10 rounds a day and this is a big thing for dog race and you can use it be like you know if the next three rounds will be hasted and then i don't want to be hasted oh yeah one round i don't need haste five i'll go hasted and then seven i'll go haste right you kidding me free action free action that each round and they don't have to be consecutive ridiculous yeah they don't have to be consecutive and it's a big thing for dogwraith he definitely, like part of his, he needs to move around the battlefield quickly. And he's a dwarf.

So he only has 20 feet of movement speed. And this effectively doubles his movement speed in those rounds. And especially since Baron's gotten 40 feet of worth of range on his weapon. weapon the one thing that baron's character has not exhibited that is a a classic trait of dwarves is their 20 feet slow and steady move speed but now that we have a melee character who's flipping up vexing defenders dodging all over the place yeah he needs that movement and you get that one extra attack at your highest base attack bonus right oh yeah and your ac goes up which you need because you roll like such garbage giving you one more chance to hit at your highest bab it really just it's a perfect thing for you to have yeah uh matthew what'd you end up uh spending your gold on i trade uh i traded in my belt of physical

i sold my belt of uh incredible decks plus two and bought a belt of incredible decks plus four oh okay yeah that'll uh give you a nice little boost to everything important for your character uh okay that's cool you didn't want to do anything to boost your uh charisma my charisma is pretty boosted yeah yeah i have a 22 charisma yeah no that's pretty high oh that's pretty boosted yeah that's pretty pretty boosted okay and did you end up taking those sorcerer robes i know that was a point of uh order on the boards there i have a my my when fraza came into the game wearing a cool set of robes right true metro damn it i did it again you know what i never

noticed it i edited that those episodes and i still didn't notice it um just shows how unmemorable your characters are skidid I like to think that I shine through as a personality that's true I just I can only think of your characters

as being extensions of your personality so I don't even worry about the names because you're such a an unbelievable role player there we go

and player of this game there we go I'm going to choose to take what you're saying at face value I can barely look at you because all I see is the white light of talent. There we go. Coin.

Synthoids. What did you buy with your fancy gold? I got the craziest, most extreme 90s style upgrade of them all. I traded in my ring of protection one for a ring of protection two. We got a ring pop, baby. I feel like you came into the game with everything that you needed, at least.

That's the cool thing about coming and replacing a character at a high level. You have all this gold to spend and you can spend it exactly how you want. At that level. At that level at that level right so yeah it sounds pretty well said uh grant what did you buy a couple things oh boy the first of which i uh we got a special deal on this oh boy i also i also went i also went i also we

really should have like done some coupon clipping been on the lookout for sales. You're buying your gear from third-party books. To get the special deal on these two belts of Incredible Dexterity Plus 4, which I also upgraded, they had to be part of a set. So mine says Mr. Sexy, and Mettra's says Mrs. Sexy right on the belt set. That's a lie. So you upgraded to a... It's a his-and-hers belt set. That's a lie. So you upgraded to a... It's a his and hers belt set. It's really for honeymoons.

But the other important thing that happened was Baron moving forward has decided, especially after the battle with Skirkaba, that there's no more retreat oh so he sold the breastplate of vanishing he's gonna stand his ground and do what's right wow lost that kind of get out of jail free heal himself come back out he's now wearing a resize set a plus three mithril chainmail. Ooh, that's nice. It'll up the AC a bit, but I lose my escape valve. Okay. What's your AC against giants now? 33.

That's a pretty good AC against the main villains of this adventure path. Wow, that's good. That's real good. All right, so you guys are... I forgot to mention one detail. Oh, two things. One, I didn't buy this, but we got in the loot. Dalgrath is wearing the Winter Wolf headband,

which I'm pumped about. So can breathe cone of cold once a day. Pretty sweet. That's pretty fun. And I, Jimmer, got Pembroke's headband of alluring... Oh, no, someone... No, it was Faraz's Headband of Alluring Charisma plus four. Baron took Pembroke's Alluring Charisma, or the dual, the charisma. Mental prowess.

Yeah, the Headband of Mental Prowess. He's giving him some extra spells. Oh, cure mods happening all the time. You get a cure mod. You get a cure mod. You get a cure mod. Yeah, that's your new spell uh so during this time uh that they had uh traveled down here and dogwraith heard about like the whole story from baron like really got the whole arc of the thing

he was told all about the history of the dagger uh of of brinia's love and you know the oh right engraving and everything that's in it. And considering, uh, what happened to Penbrook and Feyraza and what the, you know, the Feyraza handing him the dagger and everything, uh, Dalgrath decided when he,

uh, had crafted the plus one ghost touch short sword, uh, that he was going to name it Brynja's revenge. Oh, that's the name of the ghost. Cool. Short story.

Cool. Oh, that's cool. That's really cool. Whenever we talk about Brynja's love, all I can think is, I bring you love. I bring you love. He's bringing love. He's bringing love.

Break its legs. No, no, it's Mr. Burns. It's Mr. Burns. Kill it. And that's No no it's Mr. Burns Yeah It's Mr. Burns Kill it

Joe's gonna be a badass Against uh Any incorporeal creature From now on There's not one more In the last two books No Yeah

If it happens If it happens Watch out Cause Baron has ghost salts Which he puts on his tacos To feel spooky Yeah Oh wait

Did we talk about The like base things That we got for To cover our non-clerics? We haven't. No, no, no. It only took four books to figure this out. And a lot of money.

So what did you get? Some cure light wounds? We got five wands of cure light wounds. Okay. We got some scrolls of resist energy communal. Okay. So we can kind of bob and weave with what they got down there We're thinking it's going to be a lot of fire

Which you never know You'll be casting right And you can cast that That's on your spell list right now You don't have to UMD those I do not I have to UMD the wand of acolyte wounds Okay

But it's And Baron doesn't have to So if it's out of combat It's just boom boom boom boom boom boom We got some potions of cure mods Some potions of cure serious Sweet Scroll of restorations Scrolls of restoration Classic We got some potions of cure mods, potions of cure serious. Sweet.

Scroll of restorations. Scrolls of restoration. Classic. And a wand of lesser restoration. Oh, 50 charges on that, huh? No. No, 20. Okay.

But to be clear, Baron only got one potion of cure serious. He took the money from that and used that instead to craft 125 alchemical paper cartridges if you are listening to this show which you are i want you to count the number of bullets he uses and email me at troy at glass cannon podcast.com when he uses 150 shots 125 excuse me thank you for the bonus i'll take that though from this From this episode on. Yeah. With Troy at glasscannonpockets.com. That's actually... Oh, Grant, they're going to be on you, buddy. You better count it. Should I zero out my bullet count?

Because I still have leftover bullets. Should I keep it at 125? Let's see what happens. Just reset the tripometer. I think the safest is probably that you are at zero. And firing magic bullets. I've never heard you once be like, Oh, wait a minute. that you are at zero and fire and magic bullets. I've never heard you once be like, oh, wait a minute.

I forgot to add those two bullets. It was never once like I flick up. I only have five bullets left. Maybe I should whip up my plus one hand. The good news is with my gunsmithing kit and my points in alchemy that I can craft these

whenever with some gold. So I'm good. All right. So. We have now zero gold. Yeah. Yeah. We zeroed out.

We have nine silver. I had to loan. As a party. I had to loan Dalgrif like 62 gold so he could get those boots. At 40% APR, which I thought was rude. I'm not even kidding. That's only if he defaults. We really needed the free lodging. Yeah. Yeah. gold so you can get those boots at 40 apr which i thought was rude i'm not even kidding that's only if he defaults we really needed the free lodging yeah yeah we had to get a payday loan

yeah just uh get breakfast give us an advance on the breakfast we'll pay you back when we kill all the giants um yeah so i mean you you get everything you need here i mean is there anything else that you really want to do here? Obviously, when you guys were in Yanderhoff, it was a little bit different. There was a little more time to, you know, kind of learn the lay of the land. Yeah. Even in Skelt, you had business. You know, when you were in Yanderhoff, it was like, let's find a way to remove Lork's curse.

When you were in Yanderhoff, it was like, let's find a way to remove Lork's curse. When you were in Skelter, it was like, let's reconnect with Lork's lost love and see if he has a son. Oh, it's a daughter. Oh, and she's disappeared. Now you're here, and it's kind of like, gear up. We have them on our side. We got to go to Ashpeak and find out what the hell's going on now. I mean, if you're in Kragadan, you hate to leave without doing all the Kragadan touristy things. But at the same time, you can't see it all in one day.

You really can't. So we'll just move on. We can always teleport back here. But hang on. Are we still going directly to Ash Peak, or are we going to try to seek out the reborn Skirkala? That's a great question. I think we would try to seek her out first yeah i mean

that's like there's looking for a needle in a haystack yeah that trail is cold and uh they're gonna be oh it's super cold by by you uh yeah abducting us i do think that baron would certainly seek out a temple of torag the largest one in the area probably find an inquisitor on staff and hello inquisitors aren't usually hello sir what's your name i come in peace i'm an inquisitor of torek and i'm giving you extra time to think of the name for this character you just made up oh thank you my name is inquisitor barry broadfinger barry bodfinger my name broadfinger, my name is... Broadfinger, I'll have you know. I'm so sorry, Barry. Inquisitor Broadfinger.

Yes. Hello. My name is... Torag be with you. Torag be with you as well. It's a beautiful day to worship Torag, I always say. Did you just wash your hands? Your hands are wet.

What's going on with that? Sorry, I like to wash my hands. I have a problem. All right. That's fine. I'm sorry. What's the problem? I'd like to wash my hands a little too much.

Well, you know, with the holy water right there, it can be, you know, compulsive habit if you use it. With Toreg's help, you can overcome it in time. Yeah, in time. Through Toreg, all things are possible. I just like to be clean. Always dirty. Always dirty. Hold on. I just like to be clean. Always dirty. Always dirty.

Hold on. I've got to wash my hands. Listen, I appreciate that. It's important when you're working at the forge all day, as Toregg says, on the importance of forging metal and other good works. Yes, I've read it twice. That's not a lot for an inquisitor. Wow, what an accomplished inquisitor.

I knew if I knew a Catholic priest to claim that he read the whole Bible twice, but I didn't believe him. It's a long book. And when you have to wash your hands after turning each page, it takes a long time. I'm afraid people touch their genitals when they read it. So I wash my hands after I... Now you're just channeling actual Troy. This is all coming very naturally.

This is hitting a little close to home now, dude. Do you know how much time it takes to turn a page, walk all the way over to the bathroom, wash your hands, come back to the book, read that page, and turn it? Have you thought about putting a lectern in the bathroom? That would just be foolish. But have you thought about how many people touch in the bathroom? That would just be foolish. But have you thought about how many people touch their genitals and the book while you just walk to the bathroom and back? Ah, thinking about that alone makes me need to go wash my hands. I'll be right back.

Hold on. Listen, listen. Do you ever wash your genitals while you're in the bathroom? Ah, only in the morning. I like to start the day with a clean pair of genitals. A pair? That's what we broadfingers do. Is that because you can place a broadfinger in between each of your genitals?

How dare you, my father built this town! We broadfingers don't take that kind of insolence. I'm sorry, Brother Broadfinger. I'm so mad I'm going to wash my hands! Now that this house of worship has been thoroughly blasphemed... Yes? I would like to ask a favor. I'm leaving Kragadan on a dangerous mission oh

you'll be missed whoever you are i prefer you to leave this you met him five minutes ago i prefer that you leave this with perhaps an adjunct murder perhaps you leave this with an adjunct father or another inquisitor. That would actually make me the most comfortable. All right. But where I'm going, I might never come back, and neither might the people I'm traveling with. I'd like you to find a way

through the chain of Torag temples across Valyrian to get these to Assyrian to spread their ashes in the river. One by the Arcanarium and one by the Druid's Grove. I'm going to show you on this map right here. I don't think the Arcanarium's in Assyria.

Where did you want them scattered by? Assyria. Assyria. The River Sphinx. Okay. One by the River Sphinx and one by that other river. All right. I will make a note of it.

Please don't wash your hands. I just... Again. Stop it. Stop it. Put them down. Touch these urns Just asking for a friend

A pair of them Just me and Dalgrith Deathbringer And well you don't know him But I mean you probably heard of him But just the two of us Alright The Asp and the Crook Are the tributaries of the Sphinx

Alright You know Sirian I shall You can wash your hands there I shall have it done And the crook are the tributaries of the Sphinx. All right. You know, Sirian. You can wash your hands there. I shall have it done. I've always wanted to wash my hands on the shores of the Aspen. Long been a dream. Long been a dream of mine. I won't be able to rest in peace until I wash my hands in that famed river.

May you toil at the forge long, brother. I will see you again if Torag wills it. Torag be with you. And also with you. I don't want to shake it. Fist bump? Elbow bump. How about elbow bump?

I need to go wash my elbow. That's what you hear as the door closes. I need to go wash my elbow. That's what you hear as the door closes. I need to go wash my elbow. A germaphobe inquisitor. Obsessive, compulsive, dwarfish, dwarf order. Mr. Barry Broadfinger now has the urns to Fay Raza and Pembroke, and that is canonical to our show.

Dalgrith is going to, while this is going on, he's going to go to the Museum of Kragadan. Oh, boy. And just, we don't have to role play it, but seriously, he wants to hear more about Kragadan. We're all playing it. Oh, hello. I'd like to see what you got here on hand about the story of Kragadan.

Oh, we have many things. What do you want to learn about? What's your name, sir? Oh, no, I'm a lady. First of all... I apologize. How dare you? Oh, I know.

I haven't shaved in a few days, but that's rude. My mistake. I'm so sorry. My eyes are a bit... They haven't shaved in a few days, but that's rude. My mistake. I'm so sorry. My eyes are a bit, they haven't adjusted yet to the dark. What do you say? You have dark vision. Don't tell her that. Sorry.

I guess Metro's there too. Yeah, yeah. It's a little day trip. Well, I really wanted to see the Museum of Gragadan. And Mitch was like, me too. All right. I was going to go there anyway. I'll meet you there.

Oh, hello. Yes. Clearly, you really want to do this. My name is Mary Beardchin. And I know that's ironic. Mary, you're rightly named. I have some whiskers. But most people

aren't rude enough to point it out. Now, what can I help you with about the story of Krakodon? Tell us the story of Krakodon. Oh, it's a long tale. And she tells it. The end.

That was very educational. Yes. That was quite inspiring, to say the least, Mary. Yeah, I gotta say, when I first came in and saw your whiskers and your ugly face, I thought for sure this would be a fucking nightmare. Oh, you're too kind.

I got to say, Mary, you got to tell it for storytelling. It's quite epic. Oh, well, we beard chins are all raconteurs. When you did the voices of each of the orcs, I got to say, I was quite impressed. I like to have my own flair. I've told this story many times. Well, I thank you for your time,

and I wish you the best of luck with everything. Do you do tours as well? Oh, no. It's just not allowed. As the archives go into the mountain itself, and I'm not allowed down there. No docents that could raise their umbrella and take us. No, no, it is forbidden for outsiders to go within the mountain. Are you an outsider?

No, but I am not a high enough rank. What rank do you need to be? Third! Third rank. She answered your question. I mean, I don't know what to say to that, Mary. What rank are you? Oh, I'm only fifth.

Wait, what? Oh, you're right. That counts down. Yes, what made you assume that higher was better? My mistake. I guess with dwarves, the lower is better. My mother, Beatrice Beardchin, is second, but she's dead. So she also cannot escort you down there. What did she die of?

How did she die? It's a terrible thing. Natural causes. What does it require of you to get promoted to fourth rank? Oh, you have to have many family members die. And then it just sort of happens. So, do you kill your family members? Are you trying to say you want us to kill someone, Mary?

Because we don't really do that kind of thing. We were just on trial for murder, but we were found not killed. No, no, no, I'm not suggesting that. However, if certain accidents were to happen to a... To my brother. To a Ricky bitch who lives at 999 Morningwood Lane

and keeps... She passes a paper across to you. This schedule, let's just say this beard chin wouldn't ask any questions. So Mary Beard Chin that runs the museum

has been looking for someone to kill her brother. What a fortuitous day this has turned out to be. And if she does find someone to do it, she still won't be able to go into the archives. But I'll be one step closer. One step closer to being a more effective docent

what a goal what a beautiful dream oh my god what do you imagine the archives look like oh I can only imagine it's very dark down there wow I can picture it now. I imagine that you too have dark vision.

Oh, I used to, but I'm getting old. Now it's just low light. Is that how it works? It's canon. Degenerative. Now we know why she's in this position. She wants to get to that rank before she dies

i may end up getting down there and not be able to see a thing it will be too late well thank you for coming good luck saving the world best wishes to you and your fellow beer chins yes and, and say hi to Ricky for me. Long, slow wink. We slowly back out. Wow. What an odd interaction. On second thought, let's not go to Krakow.

It's a silly place. It is a silly place. Yeah. It's like turned into the Stepford Wives. I feel like we should probably go they don't get a lot of visitors i could see why oh my god yeah i see us like debriefing at the end of our respective trips when we hear about this inquisitor that is you know out of his mind and then, well, the woman at the museum tried to hire us to kill her family.

Just so that she could give tours. We should probably get out of the city if Ricky Beardchin turns up dead. I know, by accident. We might be under suspicion for murder once more. Well, once we take out the giants of Ashpeak, I think we must come back here and kill every dwarf. Root out the average here. Book six.

This is like the scouring of the Shire at the end of Lord of the Rings. Fall of Krakadet. Planning the seeds for book six. Is there anything else you want to do no i thought we were done it was all your fault jimmy wants to do something let's go fight something yeah not that woman's brother not that woman's brother no we'll kill him let's get that's not a fight let's get out of town and get into something dangerous asap you guys uh are geared up. You have the information that you desire

to move forward. And so you head towards Ashpeak. Take a look at your maps again. How far are you looking there from Kragadam to Ash Peak?

Not far at all. No. Probably about 25 miles, maybe? Look like 25 miles? Look at the distance from Skiergard to Kragadan in comparison to the distance from Kragadan to Ash Peak. It's about a third or so? Quarter? Yeah, so you're looking at about three or four days moving at a normal overland pace.

Through the mountains. Yeah. Well, funny you should mention that. Go on. So I have the Shadow Walk spell and racial ability as a Kyle that I can, if we were in an area of dim light, you and all the creatures I touch

are then transported along a coiling path of shadow stuff to the edge of the material plane where it borders the plane of shadow. The effect is largely illusory, but the path is quasi-real. You can take more than one creature along with you subject to your level limit, but all must be touching each other.

In the region of shadow, you move at a rate of 50 miles per hour, moving normally on the borders of the plane of shadow but much more rapidly relative to the material plane. Thus you can use the spell to travel rapidly by stepping onto the shadow plane, moving at the desired distance and then stepping back into the material plane. And then the only, the downside

is you can't predict perfectly where your travel will end so you when the spell effect ends we're shunted 1D10 times 100 feet in a random horizontal direction from our desired endpoint. So if we're trying to get outside of Ash Peak. We could even get more than 1,000 feet outside of Ash Peak. Like aim for more than, you know, well more than 1,000 feet. Without knowing what the lay of the land is, you probably don't want to show up at your doorstep.

Yeah, we could aim for a couple miles away. Right, so that even if you're off, you're not going to end up in the middle of the camp. Right. In the volcano. Right. And it lasts one hour per level, which is 10 hours. And you're moving how fast? 50 miles per hour.

Holy moly. And you can up to one touched creature per level. So you could just like. It's the Ash Peak Turnpike. Sleep in and just be like, we're going. We're going to Twilight. And when you walk the shadow plane, there's not like shit in the way, right? Do you have to worry about mountains?

Do you have to worry about trees? No, because we're kind of like on the edge of the plane. So I kind of imagine we kind of like slip into shadow and kind of like weave along a shadow path we travel in the shadows of the mountains they're actual shadows we're kind of like i imagine we're kind of like bending and like and folding ourselves into this into this kind of borderlands area how do you guys feel about going into this plane brandon doesn't like it it. Brant doesn't like it. You're only going to the edge of the plane. It sounds great, Baron. Come on, live a little.

I just, if we can get miles away from it and save ourselves a little bit of time, that's fine. But we need to do reconnaissance outside. They have shown incredible restraint by not attacking this Sky Citadel already. They are trained. And now they'll never see our approach. All already. They are trained. And now they'll never see our approach.

All right. They'll never see it coming, Baron. They won't expect it coming from the plane of shadow. So, and this spell is from either Kobold Press or Super Genius Games. Which third-party publisher is this from? The Dreamcast. Oh, the big middle finger. Green Runner?

Oh, it's fifth edition. Oh, okay. Jim, you want to jump into the shadows? Yeah, I mean, I'm all for a road trip, but if it's going to save us a little time and energy, that's fine. Yeah, the saving of energy is just as important as the saving of time. Yeah, I mean, yeah, we don't want to show up. We're going to get into the fight of our lives, and we're all worn out from the road. Speaking as a person who's spent a lot of time in high elevation hiking and everything,

it's no fun when you get to the other end. Yeah, not to mention that you could run into patrols, other creatures that are lurking about. Flavored drakes. Flavored drakes. Swarming throughout the entire region. Swarming throughout the entire region swarming i i like to imagine that uh this sky citadel is actually like on a um a crack in the ground that's releasing a slightly poisonous gas that's hallucinogenic and that's why we're all on board with this plan and that's why everyone here has been so weird it's just like slowly seeping out into the city yeah yeah they all want to come to see you

off goodbye weird ass fucking town so imagine here is outside of the city walls of kragadan you know a giant valley outside of it that even though it's large you realize in looking around you may not have been able to find it on your own were you not uh taken by these dwarves as uh potential prisoners you may not even have found your way to craggadown is this the gods themselves intervening to get you where you need to be that's up to torak to decide or your own deities but you step outside of these walls and how does this work metra you just grab them by the hand grab them by hand and then we and then if we're in a shadowy area we just kind of slip into like it was like imagine it's kind of like so in the shadow of the mountain itself you you

guys you pull them aside and just you enter the shadow plane and just take off in the direction and i imagine you studied the map you know carefully uh and you want to pull up how many miles outside let's say like what like three miles three five miles away yeah three miles is good i'd say 15 but whatever you know that's crazy not even it's not even halfway there halfway there oh it's only 30 miles away it's like joe estimated like 25 okay never and it's what 1 1D10 times 100? Yeah, feet. Feet.

All right, so you end up 700 feet away from where you initially thought. So if that would randomly place us in a solid object, there's a mechanic for that too. Luckily, it doesn't. It places you in the middle of the mountains. Wow. You look around you and you see there are a lot of solid objects I could have been appearing into. Roll a survival check to try to get a sense of where you are. Would also allow, you you know knowledge geography

or something if that's better 27 for Jimmer 18 15 7 so Jimmer

you know you have a good idea of where you are and you feel like you are maybe a two hour walk

from where the Ash Peak volcano is. Wow. Which is probably a great place for you to be so that you can approach cautiously. Oh, man. What is your plan for this approach?

Do we have any idea what to expect when we get there? You know, it's Elite Giant Training Academy. The best of the best have been sent here. I probably smell like the giants, fire giants. Fire giants probably smell that very distinctive, or like sulfur or something. It's probably like smell them like on the wind. They're known to have fire in their beards and fire in their hair.

Sometimes they wield fiery weapons. Yeah. Um, we're probably like downwind from them. Like the wind, the air definitely smells different here than it did in Skier guard. Now, you know,

Skier guard had patrols going about the camp. There's no reason to think that these very highly organized giants wouldn't have patrols, maybe even as far out as where you guys are. So you know that you want to proceed looking out for patrols, traps. I think we've got to be careful. I think we've got to get as close as we can. If we can scout out the area, see what we're up against,

because I don't know if there's any way that we can do that surreptitiously, I think that would be to our advantage. Perhaps we should dig to the sky. Perhaps. I mean, I can go invisible and fly and take a little

aerial jaunt. Aerial jaunt? Yeah. Okay, the trees here are higher than what you were used to as you were leaving Skiergard. So you go invisible and just start flying up into the air. You finally get above the trees and you see numerous mountains in the distance. It's hard to tell which one is Ash Peak, but knowing you have a map, do you just leave the party and kind of head in that direction?

Sure. I mean, I can also take somebody with me. Does anybody want to go? Do you want to go? Yeah, I do. All right. So I'll make you invisible and flying as well. Yes.

Okay. You start flying over the treetops. This so cool and so who went with you dagroth dagroth went with you uh so dagroth you're just flying next to uh feyraza also invisible metra excuse me metra flying over the treetops um it's so funny this reminds me of the beginning Of your ascent over Skirgard Yeah Trying to figure out what it was like You're following along The directions on the map

Roll a survival check One of you can aid I'll aid, I'm sure mine's slow I only have a plus three survival Oh shit I thought perception was going to be more relevant. 19. And I aid. 21. 21? Nice. Okay.

You get a sense of where you need to be going. Not quite sure that this is like 100%, but you do feel the winds starting to get stronger. Starting to buffet you a little bit. And you feel like if you were to go any higher, you're going to enter a severe wind situation where flying would be difficult,

even with the fly spell. But it doesn't matter right now, because if you stay just above these treestops, you seem to be okay for the time being, and you fly out, and in the distance, you see a volcano. It's not bubbling over with lava and have smoke shooting out of it, but it's not a normal mountain. The top you can't see because of the winds and the clouds so low covering the peaks of it. But you know it's a volcano, and you know it's Ash Peak,

because surrounding the volcano are hundreds and hundreds of giants. Oh, man. Oh, that's happening again. It's a Skirgard. It has the feeling of Skirgard, as you see several giant camps populated yet again. It's a Skirgard to Ashpeak to complete their training. That's what you read that they were here for. But unlike Skirgard, unlike the lower camp and the upper camp that Metra you weren't a part of, and Dalgrith you weren't a part of, but you now know about Lork's

reconnaissance from Baron of what that was like when they first entered Skirgard. You've had two weeks together at this point to learn everything about the journey this far. You know what makes this different is that they're all flying the same banner over their camp. Though these are giants of all different types, they are all united under the same banner. And you see on that flag a symbol

that looks almost identical to the symbol that Baron described as the Ash Peak sigil. But instead of a giant dick, it's a fiery forge. Yeah, that's what I carved into myself. Nope, you carved a dick. Oh, man. And we'll see you next week.

Oh! It's already done? Oh, man! It's done! You have arrived at Ashby! I want to go in! I want dick flags. Dick flags.

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