The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 215 - The Dung and the Restless

Episode Date: July 9, 2019

The heroes continue pushing forward through the tunnels with their odd new traveling companion in tow. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast. So what are your first impressions of Thun? The heroes turn to their mysterious new ally. I think this will buy us some time. It may not buy us the time we need. To defuse a sticky situation. Dalgroth steps forward and sees 20 or so wild feral pigs being herded by four hens. For his true motives.

All right, but remember this, Sheriff Barron, as the moment you trusted me. Remain to be seen. Sense mode. Go. The adventure continues. Oh, my God. Now. What's going on everybody? It's your good buddy Joe O'Brien here, aka Dalgrave Deathbringer,

to welcome you back to another episode of the Glass Cannon Podcast. And I find myself just so incredibly overwhelmed with celebrity as it just wafts off of my incredible guest this week in the intro. Hard to even keep myself composed. I'm stammering through the introduction. Ladies and gentlemen, Troy LaValle. I told you to wear sunglasses. His future's so bright, I gotta wear shades. I got some nice color from the sun, man.

I am just looking at Hollywood over here. Hollywood. From the sun, man, I am just looking at Hollywood over here. Hollywood! Well, we are in a very sunshiny, relaxing vacation kind of mood this week as you and I are not in the office. No. Gone together away with our families to a hidden camp somewhere where no one can find us.

Yes, a hidden camp in an undisclosed location with my family, your family, Nick Lowe's family. Yes. And another one of our good buddies who, people may not know this, has originated a lot of like our lingo that we have for shows. Yes, yes, exactly. The originator of We're Having Fun. Yeah, he's the original.

We're Having Fun with him this week. So, yeah, we are out of town for a little vacation and we've never done this before. We have never, you and I have never never before taken a family vacation where we rent a house in the mountains and just kind of get away for a few days with the kids. This is a first for us, so it's exciting. Yeah. As you're listening to this right now, we're out in Lake Placid having a grand old time. My wife and I started going out there during the holidays, during Christmas time, every year for

the last seven years, and all the locals say, you've got to come out during the summer. You've got to come out during the summer. So I was like, all right, we should do that this year. Start going twice a year. But I wonder if Joe and his family and some other families would be interested in going. Found an amazing house right near the lake, and we made it happen! Yeah, we booked this,

obviously, was it four months ago? Five months ago? January or February. Yeah, yeah. It was a really long time ago. We planned it out, and I was really excited about it because, Yeah, we booked this, obviously, was it four months ago, five months ago? January, February. Yeah, yeah. It was a really long time ago. We planned it out, and I was really excited about it because, A, I've never been to Lake Placid. Is there any way to relive the Miracle on Ice? Is there a museum or something like that? Yeah, man, we'll suit up, hit the ice.

Day 11 Miracles. You play the Russians. All right. I'm always the Russians. Yeah, no, you can go right into the Olympic Center and see where it happened, like the original rink. But I do totally see where you're coming from with the, you got to go up to these like traditionally winter getaways in the summer.

I used to love, I've been with Nick Lowe a couple of times up to Vermont, to this gorgeous house in Vermont in the middle of the summer. Yeah. Up in those mountains. And it's cheaper. It's off season the middle of the summer. Yeah. Up in those mountains. And it's cheaper. It's off-season. There's nobody there. Yeah.

And you just, it's so beautiful. It's so beautiful off-season. So I highly recommend it. And I'm looking forward to this week. You're a big hiker. So this is going to be right up your alley with you and the wife and kids. Yes. Big time.

Big time. But we have an episode to do today. We finish off a crazy meeting of an NPC Which is, and you and I were talking about this after the fact It felt a lot different Something that we hadn't seen through like all of book four pretty much Yeah Where there's an NPC who you meet and you're kind of

I mean maybe the dragon a little bit But this was a little bit more so like I'm gonna come adventure with you It was just odd And and surprising and I Still have my doubts but it is because You know you're talking about an inherently Evil creature though

You know I think the sheriff identifies Him as neutral But you know as a player you always Think of doppelgangers as these mischievous Nasty creatures that Are always trying to uh screw with your mind you know what i mean and so definitely a little bit nervous but excited to see where this where this one goes it's a great little wrinkle to have happen uh right at the

beginning of book five and honestly there are a lot of different ways where that wouldn't have happened you know what i mean if you go a different way you don't meet soon maybe you never meet soon like it's very possible you don't and I Just am very excited for How this is going to change the adventure I'm excited too why don't we Get right into it not waste any more Time ladies and gentlemen please

Enjoy episode 215 Of the GCP In the haze That is last week's episode That I'm still not 100% sure We actually recorded We recorded an episode last week? You know what?

I listened to parts of it And I still don't have any recollection Of actually recording it I was on there speaking I feel like I was But I don't recall it Maybe we just Aired a clip show.

That would be amazing. We should do that. We should do that. What would the conceit, the narrative thread that would, like, would you be remembering things? You guys would rest and just have a dream of your greatest hits. Yes. Well, Baron, we've been through some crazy times together,

you and I. We sure have. I just met you a little while ago. Tell me that one again about the rag blood tusk. Back on the boat. And then we put him

in a catapult. No. You know, other shows that go on for over 200 episodes would have multiple clip shows by now. Not us. Except for last week, which I'm still pretty sure was a clip show. No, it was real.

I was there. You were there? All right. Yeah, you were there. You were there? You were there? And you were there. You?

You? You? But in our haze, I made a tactical error, which is very, very important as where this episode is starting off. No one has pointed it out. Thun. Yeah, no one mentioned it. Thun cannot shape change into a large creature. So he can't be a fire.

I don't think that's true. It's a pretty big oversight. Because I know it says, like, alter self and parentheticals after his polymorph ability. Oversight because I know it says like Alter self and parentheticals after his Polymorph ability but I think that's Referring to because they're in The polymorph spell they say like if You are using it to transform a creature

Into an animal use it as As beast shape if you're using it to Turn into a humanoid use it as alter self If but but the polymorph Spell allows you to make a size Change like that you know and I Think that's one of those things that if I wasn't using Hero lab i'll be like you're making it that makes sense to me yeah um but on hero lab i can actually choose the shape that he's able to go into and i've got

50 different things he can turn into but none of them are large creatures they're all medium or small by the way it is not it does not function like the polymorph spell it functions like a polymorph spell which is like saying it functions like a uh oh god i don't know like uh any sort of divination spell or an enchantment spell like it's a it's a a kind of spell not necessarily the polymorph spell but it's like but that's a specific kind of modifier that polymorph has anyway it's saying like this is this is all yourself so it's like but that's a specific kind of modifier that polymorph has anyway it's saying like this is this is alter self so it's like i don't see why it would be any different because it's a doppelganger the other interesting thing is he can you said he

with alter self like turn into the small creature that's strange that he could change his mass at all you know what i mean right if you can go small why can't why can't you go a little bit bigger it's it's it's very strange uh like change shape you're allowed to be one size bigger or one size larger but the parenthetical of alter self says you can only go smaller medium so i click on the change shape thing in hero lab which is pretty sweet and it lets me choose new form right now it says orc i click on orc i can be a kobold a merfolk uh uh you know i was gonna say an orc obviously an orc uh different kinds of trolls a zolgath a syrinx an elf a durger uh a bugbear an android uh all sorts of things let's turn him into an android android i just have those sentence be like what the a charukah

all sorts of things but he can't be a giant. Now, obviously, I didn't know that going into last week, so I'm not going to hold it against you for this one. But after this talk with the Ettins, he'll need to be changed into a legal form. I just don't understand why he can't be like the Muggsy Bogues of the Fire Giants. So he's going to be a medium-sized fire guy. A medium-sized fire guy. Get out of here

yeah i mean there's a very strict hierarchy it says nothing about height right he walks in there he's shorter than all the ettins and they're like we're really gonna listen yeah but he's got a complex because of it so now yeah over the top what did you say what did you just say i thought i heard you say something is there something about my height? He spikes up his hair really high. Just that image of a medium-sized fire giant. So funny. It's like if you just lit Baron on fire.

Just immolate Baron. That's what they look like. Because fire giants do look like fiery dwarves. Maybe he's a juvenile. Yeah. Like a terrorizing little... It's like, oh, it's the boss's kid. Exactly. Gotta listen to him.

Got it? I like that. So what are your first impressions of Thun? I know Grant's a big fan. Totally trusts him. It feels like something That's like This is setting us up For a betrayal

At some point down the road But it's also It's something that's so interesting That I want to experience The story of it More than I'm worried about him Fucking us over Yeah

I feel like it's kind of fun To see what's gonna happen Yeah And I feel like his interests Align with ours For the moment Yeah For the moment

Very very key From what he said he came in here one oh i heard the the fire giant king's a badass maybe i want to be a part of this gets in here and realizes these guys are horrible and wants nothing of it now he also might be smarting from the fact that they caught him and beat him up and now he might have a vendetta but he sees you guys and i mean was he under the impression that the fire giant camp in the volcano was like a humane society or something? Like, does he think these are all going to be good guys? I don't know.

He himself is like, you know, they're prone to this mischief. And I mean, maybe his whole thing is just I want to mess with the fire giants, which is fine. I mean, that still aligns with us. But as soon as we finish messing with them what's what's he gonna do to us you know he's gonna become one of us and try to leave with us what what i like about it though i've been thinking wow wow gets lonely on the road um what i've been thinking about though is um just in the past week thinking about how like um as we've gone along this journey, like, at Skirgard, you said they, like, had effigies of us they were practicing about. People had heard of us.

We'd been seen in certain prophecies. So I imagine that, like, some of this intelligence must have reached ahead of us, but not with the wild card of Thun and his best friend Sheriff Thun. Thun and Sheriff Thune. Remember that time that Thune and Sheriff Thune Call me Sheriff Thune. It's always good. It's a clip show of last week's episode. It's always good to include clips of the previous week's show

when you do a clip show. Didn't Parks do a clip show in their second episode? They did. It's good that he has the ankle cuff still on because he can't get rid of that. So if he tries to assume the form of one of us, we shall just check our ankles.

Yeah, everyone check the ankles. That would be pretty wild if one of you died or if he killed you in your sleep and took on that form. Real wild. Can we check your ankle no why no let's just move on and he's private and he's got the gun i'm sheriff i'm i'm really upset that i've set myself up to be murdered by this doppelganger and just seamlessly replaced with no difference in fact grant you may have to play the doppelganger

like off air troy just like slips you the character sheet he's like you are actually a doppelganger let me walk you through uh what you've been through so far because you've made a decent amount of progress here especially now that you have a guide of some sort like he said he doesn't it's very confusing these tunnels but if he sees the place that he's been to he's going to be able to tell you like yeah i i know what this is. But first you came in, you went through the port calluses, then you kept going through, fighting against the stench, and you had an option to go north or to continue forward. You guys chose to continue forward, and that's where you came into the room with all the slaves and the fire giants. You defeated the fire giants, met up with Thun, and Thun is telling you, listen, there are other ways out of here

because obviously getting out through the portcullises is no longer an option for you. To which Metra replied, we don't need doors. And he's like, okay, well, just so you know, there are grazing areas to the south that are open to the air. So if you need to get in and out through other ways, that's an option because you can't just go out the front door anymore. But you're like, you know what? No, let's's go north let's go to where these barracks i'm sorry

did i miss something why did he say we can't go through the front door anymore was there a specific reason why other than like well they're going to go back there and check it soon at a certain point they're going to go back and check it so that was the reason yeah yeah the reason is like they're going to go go back they're going to see what What did you guys end up doing with those bodies? We didn't say. We hauled them like into the pit. Oh, yeah. The first ones there, yeah. But then we just spit them back out.

No, not that pit. No, no, no, no, no. Like at the end of the ramp down. We just kind of tucked them back in the corner. They would find them pretty quick. For the sign that says napping. Covered in open wounds. Yeah. do not disturb

it's the on-call room for doctors to sleep in between yeah yeah yeah so i think that's what he was implying is like you can't go that's fine because a certain the next the next uh guards are going to come and be like what is going on here i didn't know if he said something specific had closed it off no no no it's more of like dangerous he understands the strategy as well so you can you get into that room he says to the south there are grazing areas but like somewhere to the to the east and to the north are is the way to the second level and in between this lower level and the second level are the barracks and i think there's a weak spot in the ceiling because i overheard the giants talking about it where you might be able to collapse it and cut off their reinforcements

as you continue deeper through the mountain to the upper levels. So you're like, let's go that way then. We don't need the exits to these grazing areas. Let's just continue north. So you continue north. Jimmer gets overwhelmed by the stench to the point of nausea. You guys wait until the nausea goes away, but he's still sickened as you come to the next room. Dalgrith steps forward and sees 20 or so wild feral pigs being herded by four ettins.

Eight heads. Two. One. Two. Each with a flail in it. You come up with the idea, let's send the illegal fire giant doppelganger into the room to tell them to scram. Yeah. And so he's like, alright.

I want to be alone with the pigs. Alright, but remember this Sheriff Baron, as the moment you trusted me. You mean Sheriff Thune? Sheriff Thune. There is no Baron, only Thune. And so a seven foot tall fire giant walks into the room,

and you guys are in the back tunnel. And you just hear... I'm really disappointed he's not role-playing with himself. I am. It's just not roleplaying with himself. I am. It's just mumbles back and forth. And you see the ettins disperse. Awesome. I thought you were going to have Thun walk back to us and be like,

They said no. You're in charge. Oh, I forgot. I'm in charge. I believe it worked I do not know how long They will be gone Go So we want to go straight

We want to go northeast He's sensing motive here Eight Thirteen I'll do it too Fourteen Twenty five Inquisitor Eight. Thirteen. I'll do it, too. Fourteen. Twenty-five.

Inquisitor. Yep. Boom. He appears to be telling the truth. He told them to go take a break. That he would take care of this room for now. He would watch over the boars. And they seemed hesitant at first because of his size, but then they were like, all right.

And they went in the direction. All right. All right. They were just like, all right. They looked at their other head. One of the eight heads was like, something's up. Wait a minute. It was like if a guy came in who was like a three-foot-tall version of your boss.

I came in and I was like, hey, why don't you take a little break here? I'll cover for you. Take five. I'll watch the boys. We lost Grant. I don't know. Such a great visual. A little tie on or anything. I don't really think of Troy as my boss.

He's the CEO of this company. And I'm imagining a three month old Troy. Hey Grant, I'm going to need that episode. I was like, I'm going to have something. Hey Grant, can you sweeten 230? Who the fuck are you? Who are you? I'd be terrified. That would be so scary. What is going on here

for some reason? Just the idea of me hesitating for a moment and then going like, yep. All right. All right. Well, seems weird,

but he is my boss. And I really could use a break. I just love the idea of me like picking up Tiny Troy under his armpits and putting him on the table. And I dance a little bit. He just like, seems fishy,

but I don't want to do the paperwork. No, I don't want to. I don't want to have to mitigate this with everyone. I really want to. I really want to do the paperwork I don't want to have to Mitigate this with everyone I really want Someone to draw normal size Grant And tiny Troy I really want it please That's a direct request I've never done it before

Troy must be wearing a bow tie A little bow tie That's a smiling Pete The Eddins go off in the direction of the barracks. Damn it. Now, here's the thing. The whole point was to not go that way. Yeah, but I mean, he told them to take a break and go nap.

And so that's the direction they went. So now they're going to go back to the barracks and there's a chance that somebody will be like, what are you doing? Well, a fire giant told them. A tiny little fire giant told them. A tiny fire giant. You know. Told the eight of us to go take a nap. Is that not cool? You must know him. You would not forget this fire giant.

He's the smallest one in the whole place. You've seen him. He's five and a half feet tall. You have to. Oh, my God. This is the best episode ever. I think this will buy us some time. But if things go awry at the barracks it may not buy

us the time we need so i think we hustle to the northeast right isn't that where we're headed hustle as fast as we can towards the weak spot in the wall right i can conceal which is also towards the barracks right yeah are we following the ends i think we'd be following the direction they went right but then i think collapsing the tunnel behind them yes is the idea yes it's a possible we might have to wouldn't we have to sneak past them through the barracks to get to the weak spot in the tunnel that's what i don't know i think but the weak spots on this side but we would have to go through the barracks right is that the idea right that's what i was um so you've asked thune he like, I do not know exactly how it works.

From what I understand, it is a separate area. Yeah, so that we make like a turn and cut off the barracks and then continue on. Without having to go to the other side of the barracks. Go through them. But I'm guessing. Well, let's just do it. Let's just go. Yes, I think all will become clear if and when we get to that point. So we will continue in the direction of the Ettins.

Yes? Give them a little lead time and then proceed. Yeah. All right, so you're going to walk, but all the boars are still there. Hi, boars. Hi, boars. You just walk through the boars,

and the boars are just chomping down, and they look up at you. As long as you don't bother the boars, they don't bother you. Why would we bother the boars? I don't know if one of you says, I'm going to kick one. I just really, I've always wanted to kick a boar. And I'm never going to get a chance to kick a boar.

It's my lifelong dream. I could die today. Just kick a boar right in the head. I was just thinking like. Is this what you think? These are the things that go through his head. One time I, oh God, this was years ago. This isn't a kick and bore story But I

Thank god I was I was drunk obviously And coming home at like Seven in the morning After a long night out And I remember just walking home And just like

Like angry And there were a bunch of pigeons In front of me And I was just like Get out of here pigeons Get out of here And I kicked one of them Oh no and there were a bunch of pigeons in front of me, and I was just like, get out of here, pigeons. Get out of here. And I kicked one of them.

Oh, no. I didn't think it was possible. I didn't think it was possible. That's not cool, man. I didn't say, take that, pigeon. I was just kind of like, shoo, shoo, and one of them didn't move, and I just punted it, and then it flew, and it looked like I kicked it a mile. Because it took off after you.

I didn't mean to kick it. You're like, I kicked it right up out of that gutter. Look at that. Oh, because it took off after you. I didn't mean to. You kicked a pigeon? You're like, I kicked it right up onto that gutter. Look at that. And then I tried out for the dolphins, and they signed me the next day. You kicked a pigeon? I was like, I just want you to know, I kicked a pigeon a mile and a half ago. As far as I know, it's still going.

Oh, I don't know. Something about him, I believe him. Take a hike. Take a hike, Pete. You guys got any pigeons? I'll show you, it's still going. Oh, I don't know. Something about him. I believe him. Take a hike. Take a hike, Pete. You guys got any pigeons? I'll show you how it works. Yeah. Yeah, as long as you don't do that.

Okay. Let's not do that. I didn't mean to kick it. Get out of here, pigeon. I kicked it real good. Sometimes this radical honesty isn't always the best. I don't know what to feel. As you're walking through, the smell of the pig dung is so potent that you need to roll another Fortitude save. Another Fortitude solve.

Another Fortitude solve. Oh, man. I'm good. I'm good. 28. 25. 27. Okay.

Okay. All right. So, Jimmer, you're still just second, but you guys, it doesn't get worse. What about Thune? Thune, oh, yes, I must fight against this. Actually, you know what Thune says? He's like, I've been down here long enough that I've acclimated to it. Hopefully, the longer you spend down here, you'll acclimate as well.

Suspicious. It's similar to the altitude in Book 4. Yeah. I'd rather not spend too much more time down here. Do you remember that time you had to roll the fortitude saves in book four? Do-do-do-do-do-do-do.

And it's really just like one of the most boring stretches of four minutes of an episode. You just hear, wait, do I get a bonus? Hold on, let me look. My Hero Lab's loaded. The fortitude saves?

The worst. Why did they pick that clip? Wait, a will save? A will save? No, a fortune. No, a fortune. Wait, the DC went up by one every check? Yeah.

Wait, did you say reflex? Air bubble? Can I have air bubble? Is it a spell or spell like a melody? Wait, do we cast air bubble on Cat Benatar? I can't. I must say, though, the Ettins looked at me strangely due to my size. So you must choose Another form for me

Unless you want me to retain my Regular appearance however I will need New armor and new weapon Choose the conqueror Choose the form Can you please read off the list of things you can become There are far too many but I'll give you A quickie

Oh I could be A barbagesi I don't even know what Oh, I could be a barbagesi. I don't even know what that is. An ice gnome. I could be a boggard, a bugbear, catfolk, a dark dancer, a I mean deep one hybrid. Orc is fine.

Does it affect his stats at all or just appearance? No, it doesn't make much sense. It gives me some abilities. It shouldn't. You get the abilities of what you're into, but not the ability scores. It removes some of your race and class abilities, and you get some of the other ones. Dalgryth, I think that we...

So, like, I gained dark vision when I was an orc. It would be helpful to keep me with the ability to see well in the dark. Yeah, let's just do orc because... Why not make him a catfolk? Because if he's spotted as an orc, even if he's out of place or something, it's not going to immediately be like, what is this completely random creature doing?

I was just trying to give him some help because he said he could do stealthy stuff and the two of you together. I will be an orc for now and perhaps we'll put up a poll on Twitter for my next form. He's a really fourth wall breaking character. Are you related to Tom Exposition?

Do you remember the last poll we put up on Twitter? It's a screenshot. I will remain an orc, but do you have medium sized armor and weaponry for me? I don't believe we do. I mean, he can carry. I can use the large weapons, but I will take a penalty. I think we sold all the

medium armor. There'd be no reason we would have gotten new stuff. How foolhardy. I will just wear sheriff's thoons. No. No. Get off of me. Alright. He just goes like right for the buckles. Get off of me. What right. He just goes, like, right for the buckles. Get off of me.

What are you doing? Stop. I mean, I guess he has to go armless. And then, like, yeah. Ah, well, this will limit my ability to help you. I will have to stay far away from the battle and throw things. Can we cast, like, can you cast, like, mage armor? Or is that only self?

I don't have Mage Armor, and I believe it is only self. I have a cold weather outfit. No, I don't. You have Shield of Faith, though, right? Yeah, I could put something on him. You said you had a dagger, yes? Yes, I have a dagger. I can give him. Well, that is a start. I will do my best

to aid you, but understand, until I am armored, I will not put myself in harm's way. You do understand this, yes? Yes. We established that magical armor does not resize the wearer, right? Correct. Only wondrous items. Damn.

Yes. Very well, then. Hopefully we will find some medium-sized creatures. Let's continue forward. So you start trudging through to the north. You continue about ten minutes or so. Another fortitude save. Jimmer, you're no longer second by that first one.

That's kind of worn off. Got it. Now to 17. Okay. Oh, fucking natural one. Again. You must only fail on a natural one, I would imagine. Your fortitude save must be ridiculous. My fortitude is plus 14.

Does a 15 fail? A 15 makes it... Actually, no. Because you're within 100 feet of this stench, the DC went up to 17. So you're sickened. Jimmer is nauseated and sickened. You wait for the nausea to go away. It goes away. Oh, but that's bad.

So Metra. We're on a clock here. Metra and Jimmer are both sickened. You continue going forward, and the pathway splits to the north and to the south. Can I look for Etten tracks? Yes. Fresh Etten tracks. which way did they go roll your survival i rolled an eight survival i'll roll come on bear bear

a total is a 15 15 5 5 and i rolled a 20 on that stupid fortitude save. 16. 16. There are fresh tracks going to both the north and the south. Fresh. Now, there are patrols about as well. But they split up? The barracks are both ways? Oh, God. Hey, Thune, what are you thinking here? What do you know about this fork in the road?

I do not know for sure. I do know that Ettans are not very intelligent. Perhaps given the opportunity to go off on their own, they decided to go... Pardon the phrase, Dalgrith. Rogue. Okay. I do not know what is to the south To be honest

So there's a passage splitting to the south And one continuing north or northeasterly Let's continue north Northeasterly Alright Let's go Dalgrith will go ahead and stealth Alright stealth

27 27 Let's go. Dalgrith will go ahead and stealth. All right. Stealth. 27. 27. All right. So you stealth ahead. Baron and Dalgrith roll another fortitude save. 22. Natural one.

Natural one. All right. So now You become nauseous In a second Do you want to wait To have the nausea Go away Yeah Well I mean

I could keep moving forward With the nausea I'll tell you right now It lasts three minutes So Oh god Jeez And

And nausea really Is a killer in combat right You can't do a pressure Yeah But you can't do a Yeah That's the only thing you can do So you start skulking ahead

And you're like And you start vomiting So you start skulking ahead, and you're like... And you start bumping, so you kind of wait, shake it off, but now you're sickened as you move forward stealthily. Rolling that stealth check over, you see an opening up ahead. Okay. He'll continue. Continue forward. Okay, you continue forward, and again you're seeing red flickers.

Roll another stealth check to get up to the entrance here. There we go. 39. Yeah. Beautiful. You get right up to the edge. Let's just go right to the map so you see what you see here. the edge. Let's just go right to the map so you see what you see here.

We are deep into this thing now. Yeah. And I don't know how to get out. Oh my goodness. Alright, so this is a rather strange room. You see one patch

of glowing red crystals, very poorly illuminating, only a small part of this large, smelly cavern. It looks like most of the floor space is a large, open cesspit ringed by giant-sized stoned outhouses. All of the... Oh, it's the latrine.

It's the latrine. It's the latrine. Several square shovels of various sizes lean against the walls on the upper part, and the stench is staggering here. Oh, this is disgusting. They literally put the giant fire giant dumps on the map. They did. He dung piles. Yeah, so there are a bunch of outhouses, giant fire, giant dumps on the map. I did.

He dung piles. Oh yeah. So it's an out. There are a bunch of outhouses and they empty straight into this pit and you see creatures lurking about in the waste. They don't, they don't look too friendly. You know, there's a lot of fine work done by the good people at Paizo and there's a

lot of talented map makers out there, but could you just imagine drawing this room and being like, well, I guess I'm being paid to draw shit on a map. Quite a life. In addition to, I mean, where you're standing, you just see things moving around down in the pit. You can't see into the pit, but as you're standing there, a fire giant walks right by you.

So it looks like there's one fire giant just kind of walking around the ring of this area. Oh, man. But why would someone be walking around? It's confusing. All right. Where next? What a terrible job. Yeah.

You know what? Can Dalgrith risk a little bit more exploration in this room solo? Just go right into the poop Like, yeah Just dive in Swim around Jackknife Cover himself in it

Yeah Smear it across his face He blends in Closes his eyes Puts it on his eyelids He just lays there And then he just opens his eyes Matthew, you're out of control.

I think it's a good idea. Just be careful that the fire giant doesn't see you, because I think he's a bathroom attendant and he's going to want a little tip after you use the stove. Oh, I hate those guys. I hate going into a bathroom and there's one of those guys in there. Even if you just wash your hands, they're just like... Yeah.

So let's say you wait until that fire giant is like on the opposite side. Right. Okay. And he just wants to, he wants to stealth into the room. It's keeping completely opposite of the fire giants patrol and just kind of slowly walk around the room and just peek in seat to try to see 60 feet into each opening that's leaving this room. Okay.

Cause there are four different ways. Yeah. He just wants to peak. And, uh, because if we're going to try to get through this room without fighting, he wants to have some idea of like at least an open direction rather than running into like a collapsed tunnel or something.

Okay. Uh, so which way do you want to go? That giant is making a, uh, counterclockwise. Uh, so I'll do, I'll do counterclockwise and I'll just'll just follow him, hoping he doesn't turn around and stay, you know, I could stay 100 feet away from him.

Okay. Roll your first stealth check. 29. 29. Okay. 29. 29. Okay.

You're able to, I'll say again after I roll a stealth check, to try and get to each one of these things. Oh, boy. All right, so you get to the southeast one, and you're still, again, keeping 100 feet away from that fire giant. And what do you want to do? I just want to look down it. Okay. I don't know how far I can see.

to do? I just want to look down at it. I don't know how far I can see. You look down and it seems to be winding south into darkness as far as your eyes can take you. However, as you walk past the pit there, now you can see into it. There's a five foot drop

into where the waste is collecting and you just see like eye stalks poking around beneath the filth all over the place. Roll a perception check. It's a Dianoga. Dianoga. Natural 20.

Natural 20 on the perception. 34. You see three of those creatures there. Oh. Walking around. Is that a Dungeoneering, maybe? I'll tell you what it is. Oh, they're Autiogs, right?

I think so, yeah. They live on filth. They sure are. Yeah. That would be, it's aberration. So, yeah, Dungeoneering? Yeah. Fart.

Nine. Damn. Nine, yeah. You don't know. Damn. But they are Otiogs. Come back and tell Baroni. And they're just walking around eating the waste.

But they haven't seen you. Okay. I'm gonna stick to the wall, the far, like, rim of the circle to try to stay away from the pit. The description of them is this three-legged freak is mostly mouth, three tentacles, two tipped with barbs, and one with eyes extended

from its sides. And they're just walking around in the filth. These are large creatures just eating the filth, and they don't notice you, and neither does the fire giant. All right, I'm going to roll a stealth check, try to go to see the northeast passage. Okay. Roll your stealth.

I'm still feeling sick. Oh, no. No. 23. 23. Okay. Okay, so you're making your way to the northeast one, No. 23. 23. Okay. So you're making your way to the northeast one,

pretty much as far away from your party as you can be, on the opposite side of the room here. That fire giant that's making its patrol is now towards the northwest. But you're making your way along, and you start to look up the hallway. Roll a perception check. 27. You look down that tunnel. Again, it just extends directly to the northeast,

which you think is the direction you want to head in, into darkness. From behind you, you also hear as one of the outhouse doors opens. And a fire giant steps out. Oh, shit. And goes to swing at you.

What? Oh, my God. He heard you. Oh, my God. Wait a minute. Come on. Roll for initiative. Oh, no.

He's in the outhouse. He hears it. He immediately opens the door and swings. He's just like and sees you right there. Oh, my God. This is bad business. It's not good business. No, no.

I don't really see this ending well. I just read this thing. It's so gross. Just to give you an idea of the real depravity of this situation. Giant station nearby use the outhouses.

Orc slaves bring containers of waste here from other parts of the facility and dump them into the pit. The Otiugs eat the best pieces and push the rest into the

northeast drain hole. So gross. What defines a best piece? Ah, there it is. Corn. Fresh corn. Fresh corn.

Undigested corn. Some are already corns and seeds I sincerely doubt the fire giants are eating corn you don't know the little one does

to a knowledge local the light situation it is there is one patch of those glowing red crystals that is illuminating it poorly

I'm going to say dim light dim light I'm going to say dim light throughout so imagine it's like on top of the fact that it's a poop, a giant poop hole. And it goes straight down from where the outhouse hole is.

So it's like a five foot drop into the pit. A straight slick wall. Slick with poo. It is like an eerie red glow throughout. And Dalgoth, you come in. You sneak. You're pacing yourself behind that first fire giant. You're not too stealthy on that first roll. but you get, you look to the south of darkness.

Okay, that's what you expected. You continue going around, and again, you're not super stealthy. And you make, say you step on a rock or something, and something just sounds a little off where the fire giant opens up the drawer and draws his sword. And that's where we're at. But you still have a chance to get the jump on him because that was his, we'll say that's his surprise round, is him opening the door, drawing his sword. The other fire giant may not even

be aware of you yet. Let's talk initiative. Sheriff Thune. I will not respond to that name. Baron. Thank you. Red Peak. 19, four on the die. What a garbage roll. So garbage. Metra? Sorry, eight. That What a garbage roll. So garbage. Metra? 20, sorry, eight.

That's a big difference. 70, no, sorry, eight. While you were doing your initiative checker, I rolled my die a couple times, and it was now on a 17, but I rolled a natural one. Oh, well, I'm sorry. Jimmer?

12. Oh, God. Don't worry, your friends are coming soon. Dalgrith? 16. 16. Thune rolled a 20. Oh, God. Don't worry. Your friends are coming soon. Dalgrith. Sixteen. Sixteen. Thun rolled a 20. Oh.

But he is unarmored with a dagger. All right. You could have a greatsword. It is round one, and it is Thun's turn. Wow. I imagine they're all there. I have you all on the map here, kind of down the hallway a little bit from the entrance where Dalgrith snuck up. But I imagine they're all watching you as best they can. However, at a certain point, you're well, you're in dim light.

And because you kept Thun in as an orc, he has dark vision. So would he be able to see you, you think? What do you think, Joe? You're very far away. Let's all be honest with each other here. Do you think Thune would be able to see you 215 feet away? I can see 120 feet away. So if the gross things that hit.

But it's dim light. It's dim light. I have dark vision. No, I know, but I'm saying you can see a lot further. You can see that far in pitch blackness. Thune is going to hold. Thune is just going to hold and looks to baron and it's baron's turn um what should we do do i get a sense after rolling for initiative that anything's happening yet though i feel

difficult to motivate me to you're at the ready here roll a perception check okay thank you i'm gonna use britney's die it's britney bitch no no no not her name brit is not sorry we have to oh no really oh yeah oh yeah i mean talk about a natural one for joe o'brien like i'm sorry we have never mentioned a person's name in in uh coinciding with a die more than this person's name and we got it wrong her name is not britney it is britain and she told me this and i just forgot it or said it wrong the first day and then just like we forgot about it so uh very sorry britain very sorry but this is britain's die britain's die it got a 14 for a total of a perception oh 35 all right uh you have darkvision. So you see these outhouses

and you hear on the far side, in the direction where Dalgrith went, one of the doors of the outhouse open. And that's like hundreds of feet away. Over 200 feet away. I got limited range. So Baron... You just start shooting from 250 feet away.

The bullet's just landing harmlessly at his feet. Falling bullets kill. Baron's going to move 40 feet into the room. He's going to look at Thune and say, I think there might be trouble inside of here. You're ready to fight. 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35.

You could also wait a minute. Oh, metagaming. I mean, Metra would say... Metragaming. Yeah, it's metragaming. Matt, you stop metragaming. If Baron were to turn to Thune and say something... Oh, yeah, that makes sense.

Then what would you say, Metra? Wait a minute. Okay, Baron will hold. All right. It is now Dalguth's turn. Oh, boy. Dalguth, you see this thing come out and make eyes at you. You are, what, 20 feet away?

30 feet away. 20 feet away. Ooh. Ooh. And over 200 feet away from your friends. Three ODUGs, two fire giants. The ODUGs are down there eating poo. You don't know how they're going to be involved,

if they're going to be involved. Okay. Okay. I'm very nervous. I am looking every which way of getting out of here, and nothing is good. Everything is bad. It's like, I'm just going to run to the northeast,

see what happens up there. It's extremely extremely extremely bad uh so i am going to oh god yeah uh all right here's what here's what i'm gonna do i'm gonna just try to get out of here so uh first thing i'm going to do is click my heels together and give myself haste nice okay haste yes uh then i am going to enact as a swift action my expeditious armor okay which also increases my speed so now my speed is... I'm very, very fast now. You're very fast. Yeah, so now I can move 60 feet as a move action. Everyone but Baron is second. So I am going

to, and I believe that I can do this, I can take a path that just is out of the range of Attack of Opportunity from the Fire Giant. 5, 10, 15, 5, 10, 15, you're always out of reach. I mentioned that he had a spear, though, right? A long spear?

He just stabs you. Yeah, no, I think you have every way of getting past him without incurring. Okay, great. You also have a chance to get the jump on him, though, if you want to toe-to-toe with him. No him now If you want to toe-to-toe with him No, I do not want to toe-to-toe with him I'm going to try to avoid the other fire giant And take the other route

So my speed is now 60 feet So I'm just going to move 120 feet Okay Looping around the circle Heading back toward my friends So yeah, I'll put myself on the map. Let's hope there are no other fire giants in outhouses. I know. Maybe each outhouse

holds a fire giant. Oh, God. They're all... It's dump time. Everybody ready? They all open the doors. It's dump o'clock, everybody. Time to feed the odiugs. The choicest nugs. Oh, God. It is Jimmer's turn

I'm gonna hold as well I see what Metra I'm guessing at what Metra has in mind Dune holds Baron holds Dalgrit just 120 feet Imagine the speed And the giant is watching you

Go down that corridor Or just kind of loop around it now in a clockwise direction. Jimmer holds the fire giant's turn. Wait a second, though. At a certain point, didn't we discuss... Can fire giants see in darkness? Yeah, they have... Are we talking about that?

They have dark vision, I think. Do they? Again, it's dim. They have low light vision. It's dim light. Oh, it's dim? Okay. That red glow over the stench. All right, so it's the fire giant's turn. The one that came out of the outhouse. It's dim light. Oh, it's dim? Okay. That red glow over the stench.

All right, so it's the fire giant's turn. The one that came out of the outhouse, it's his turn. He yells, And sure enough, Come on with this! Another outhouse opens to the south. No, no, no. And a fire giant walks out like,

Thereby blocking Dalgrith's passage back. Oh my gosh! Dalgrith is surrounded with one fire giant. A hundred feet away. Near one o'clock. The other one a hundred feet away. And one near seven o'clock. And then the other one's near eleven o'clock.

The one near eleven o'clock starts to close in the direction of where your tunnel is. Now, he doesn't know you're there. He is just going to try and block all the exits. Now, there is one exit for Dalgrith to the south. You do have that option. I thought about just booking it northeast, but I was like, oh, man, this is going to get ugly. So basically, the one who comes out of the outhouse,

he comes out, normal move, draws his weapon, and starts looking around to see where you are. The other one that you just ran past double moves towards you, Dalgrith. And then the one at 11 o'clock double moves to about 9 o'clock. Oh, boy. And, yeah, this should only take me about an hour and a half. Absolutely foolish of us not to cast invisibility. I should have done it on you. He didn't wait.

He just went. I just went? I'm just thinking about that. The loose cannon. How high the stakes are now with these incredibly powerful things. It's just scary. I know it is. I'm really scared for Dalgrith.

But Baron kind of wants to see how he handles things on his own. Hold on a second, guys. See the Deathbringer in action. Running away from creatures. Yeah, that's really what it looks like now. So now the one that you. See the Deathbringer in action. Running away from creatures. Yeah, that's really what it looks like now. So now the one that you ran past is at 2 o'clock. Actually, the outhouses are the 12 of them. That one actually makes a perfect clock.

Oh, yeah. 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. Yeah, it is. It's a perfect clock. Nice. It's almost as if they planned it that way. All right, so one of them is at 2 o'clock. One of them is at 7 o'clock, the one that just came out of the outhouse.

And the other one is at 9.30. About half past nine. And the odiugs just continue to eat away at the feces. Everyone is still whole, but it is Metra's turn. Metra will say to Baron, I think you can take the one that's coming around the corner. I can try. I'll leave soon with you.

And then Metro will grab Jimmer and Dimension Door basically across the pit to stand between Dogwreath and his first enemy. To stand between Dogwreath to interpose. Oh, not get behind him? Yeah, behind you. No, behind him. Behind him. Because then I'll have two people to dealpose. Oh, not get behind him? Yeah, behind you. No, behind him. Behind him. Because then I'll have two people to deal with.

Because then he's flanked. I was going to put him... Oh, I guess, yeah. Yeah, are you protecting Dalga? Are you making a shield against Dalga? I was trying to protect you. No, I get it, but I'm saying, you know, that's fine. Do whatever you want.

We can put ourselves for a round. I was just saying, even confusing him for a round, like which way to go, that's pretty good, too. I'll take Jimmer and we'll put ourselves right behind. Right around 1 o'clock. Right around 1 o'clock. He's at 2, you're at 1, Dalgryth's at 4. Let's go like 1.45. 1.45, sure.

I want to put Jimmer in the optimum. Actually, yeah, I'll put Jimmer in. I don't want to put myself in danger. I highly suggest, if you're listening to this episode and you're not driving a car, to draw out the map. Draw a clock. You'll have a lot more fun. It's so fun. All right.

So Metro moves Jimmer there. Jimmer, do you want to take an action? Yeah. Jimmer will. So you should be able to take a five-foot step and be in range, was my idea. Oh, boy. Oh, yeah. Okay.

I think you just said a death sentence for Baron. Beautiful. All right. So Jimmer. The other one's running towards us. You got Deputy Thune. He doesn't know you're said a death sentence for Baron. Beautiful. All right. So Jimmer. The other one's running towards us. You got Deputy Thune. He doesn't know you're there. They don't even know you're there yet.

Sheriff Thune and Deputy Thune. Oh, they'll start going around. Okay. Jimmer does take a five-foot step, and he is going to unleash the full fury of Terminus Est. Amazing. By the way, could you do a little prestidigitation or something to make it appear as if you Guys just walked out of an outhouse We could just teleport into The outhouse and then open the door

Walk out That would be a total waste Just perfect though Can I have a Free flavor action, Troy? That's what I'll do. No, no. All right, first attack.

Jimmer, go for it. You know what? Metro will say something to the effect of, like, don't go in there. Do not go in there. That is a 31 to hit. Yeah, that'll hit. Yes, Jimmer! And 29 points of damage.

Oh, God. This is just so huge to have the gym go. Even though my guys are getting hurt, this is just fun. Yeah. 29 points of damage. If you pull this off. Natural 20. Oh, yeah!

Natural 20. Oh, God! Oh, he's the best. Oh. And you know what I'm going to do is I am going to take my deadly critical. As an immediate action, I'm going to take my deadly critical as an immediate action I'm going to enact deadly critical which will turn my times to crit from a long

sword into a times three actually you know what I'm gonna wait until I hear what the critical is okay that's fine you have to confirm yeah oh yeah I have to confirm right that is a 20 wait hold on shit you're not still sickened on your sheet, are you? I am. I am. But you're actually sickened? I am. I'm still sickened.

That is a 27. That is a confirmed. Alright! Yes! Yes! So huge. So huge. Okay. Let's see.

This one is from Mason in Salt Lake City. Hi, Mason. Mason in Salt Lake City, knock the wind out of him. Yeah. Your attack lands squarely between the ribs, leaving the target gasping for air. Double damage and the target becomes fatigued. Oh, man. D4 rounds, fortitude save negates fatigued.

Okay. DC 27, fortitude save. Wow. DC rounds. Fortitude save negates fatigued. Okay. DC 27 fortitude save. Wow. DC 27 fortitude save. Got a good fort. He's got a great fort. I got it. So I'm not fatigued.

He got it, bro. I got it. Double damage, dude. Double damage. I am going to enact a deadly critical. So give me triple damage. Triple damage. You are built like a crit shithouse.

A shit crit house. Oh my god, you can't even do the math? Carry the one. 80, 84 points of damage. Oh my god. Yes! Do you have a third attack? I do.

Natural one. Oh, no. Let's see. Most likely to confirm, though. Yeah. Oh, no. Do you have anything that can negate it? I do.

I'm going to use my reliable strike. I'm going to use one of my two instances of reliable strike to reroll that. And you haven't used these at all today. Because remember, you guys haven't rested since you've come. No, I didn't use any of these in the other fight. Okay. Fights. 19.

19 to hit? That is a... Oh, that's a critical threat. Oh, it's a natty 19. Yeah, natty 19. Oh, my God. The reliable strike is a bit of luck, basically. It allows you to re-roll.

Yeah. And so you just re-roll. I have to take the second roll, though, whatever it is. And you rolled a critical strike. I rolled a critical strike. Amazing. Yeah. Roll to confirm.

All right, roll to confirm. This is staggering. Did not confirm. Okay. That's a hit. Yeah, that's a 30 to hit. Okay, roll damage. All right, so that is 23 more points of damage.

And he's dead. Yeah! Oh, my God. In one damage. And he's dead. Yeah! Oh my god. In one round. Yes. One round. Boy, this guy had an awful day. It was a real rough day.

He thought he was going to have a good day. He just, you know, he got his poop in, and then he comes out of the door, and there's a weird dwarf, and then all of a sudden he gets stabbed three times in the back. Yeah, it's like, duh, duh, duh. He basically comes out with his sword,

and his hands are still by his ankles, and he just falls and dies. Absolutely brutal. Does anybody else want to take their turn that hasn't taken it yet? That would be Baron and Thun. Baron will cast Shield of Faith onto Thun to maybe encourage him to get involved in the battle. Okay, so you're going to move in the initiative order as well here? Yep.

And plus three deflection bonus to AC. Plus three to AC, okay. For every six levels, I have six levels of Inquisitor, so it should be plus three. Okay, his natural AC is 19 without any armor. Oh, that's good. So this is going to move it up to

a 22. And then Baron will move to the edge, but he kind of wants to be able to now sneak attack them. So he's going to try to stick to the shadows about here. Okay, as far as you know, they don't even know that you're there. 10, 15, 20. So he moves the full complement of his move speed, and that's his turn. Okay.

Thun is not going to take an action. However, at the beginning of round two, Thun will take an action, and he is going to look to Baron and say, what do you suggest, Sheriff? If you want to tussle with these giants, I'd love to see what you got. Well, I believe you have the right idea. Take them

by surprise. I will move up to the edge as well, stealthily, and try and get them when they walk past. You should quit narrating so loudly if you want to sneak up on them. Can you see me now walking down the tunnel? And that's, so Thun will ready in action. If he sees a giant come out, he's going to jump out and try and strike it.

Wow. That is amazing. Dalgrith, you are up. You see that giant that was coming after you just, Metra and Jimmer appear. Jimmer just, hack, hack, hack, kills it. Pretty amazing. Dalgrith is going to move.

Okay. You're very far away from this other giant. He's going to do a double move, 40 feet, not hasted, to get basically next to an outhouse that is out of the line of sight of the fire giant. So the fire giant that was formerly coming at him is not going to be able to see him from where he is right now. Okay, you're kind of tucked behind the wall. He knows where you are.

He puts his back up against the wall, and he's going to wait and see what this guy... Actually, can I do, as a free action, can I do a perception to see if it would be feasible for me to clamber up the outhouse, just to get on top of it? Yeah. Just to climb up it real quick? like just to get on top of it. Yeah. Just to climb up it real quick.

I'm not sure how tall it is or whatever. That is a 22 perception. 22? Yeah, yeah. So I could just scramble. Yeah, you don't have to. Can't do it this round. Do you have any movement speed left or it took you 40 to get there?

It took me 40 to get there, yeah. What if you did this? I don't want to. That's not valuable enough for that. I'm thinking for future rounds. It looks like you can climb it. You don't know how sturdy it is, but you certainly could get up there. And how tall is it?

Like 10 feet or something? Oh, no. It's got to be like 15, 20 feet tall. It's like 16 feet tall. Yeah, for them, yeah. Okay, cool. Yeah, so it would probably take you a round if you made your climb check to get up there. Right.

Okay, moving right along. It's the fire giant's turn. All right, so that one sees you duck behind the thing, but it cannot actually see you now that you've moved that way. So it is going to, I think it's going to be forced to double move because it doesn't know about Baron and Spanky yet. Thune, what's his name? Spanky.

Baron and Spanky. Oh, the adventures of Baron and Spanky. So he's going gonna move 60 feet and be a lot closer to you, but still unable to... He's still about 30 feet away or so, but still a lot closer than he was. The other one

sees now Jimmer and Metra where they are, and so he is going to go in the opposite direction. Oh, my God. So now they're going away from Baron and Spanky. They're going away from Baron and Spanky because they don't know they're there. And it wouldn't make a lot of sense for him to go any other way.

So now he's like, God, curse. I didn't register that as a joke at first, Joe, because it's already become canon that his name is Spanky. It wasn't a joke. So now Baron and Thuneun you both see him move away oh man fuck this is awesome because it's a really strange fight you never have fights where everybody has so much movement to do to get to wherever they need to be yeah i had to have to double move and not be able to attack is uh is is lame metro you are up uh metro will take a five foot step up to neck up next to Jimmer and say,

ready? Grab him and then disappear into a whiff of shadow. Nice. And appear next to the fire giant that just closed on Dalgrim. Come on! Putting him a five-foot step away

from that guard behind him. You can just do this all day? Yeah, all day. But as long as I have four double spells. Unbelievable. It's Jimmer's turn. Oh my god. It is? It's my turn again? It's Jimmer's turn, yeah. You held and you moved an initiative order. Oh, nice.

Okay, yeah. Right. A fire giant that just moved up to the north is going to be like, I'm just putting us like a so you could take a five foot step so I'd land you there So awesome Alright so yeah Jimmer again

Just like boom appears out of the shadows Takes a step forward and starts swinging Okay That is first attack Is a 33 That is a hit That's 25 points of damage First attack second attack

Oh shoot 22 22 misses That's 25 points of damage. Okay. First attack, second attack. Oh, shoot. 22. 22 misses. 22 misses, this big guy. You know what? I think I'm going to do, I'm going to use another reliable strike, my second reliable strike. Okay.

And that's it for the day? And that's it. Okay. Okay. Yeah, I'm going to natty 15. Okay. That's going to be it. So that's 31. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I'm going to... Natty, 15. Okay. That's going to be it.

That's 31. Yeah. Again, to hit. And that is another 25 points of damage. Okay. Final attack. Natural one. Oh, my God.

That's what you see? Wow. Oh, man. It backfired in the one possible way it could. Yeah. Did you confirm it? Let's see if I confirm. We got a fumble.

Yeah, it's a 20. We're going to fumble town. Yeah, it's a fumble. We're going to fumble village here. Fumble rooster. Oh, God. This could be bad. This could be bad.

All right. Here we go. Alex, what have you done to us? Alex in Benton Harbor, Michigan. What have you done to us? Alex in Benton Harbor, Michigan. What have you done to us? Resonating strike. Your weapon strikes a hard surface, sending vibrations through your body. Drop your weapon, and you suffer a 1d4 dex penalty until the end of your next turn.

Fortitude save negates the dex penalty. Okay. And the fortitude is the AC of the fire giant? Yes. Okay. 27. 27. 27. So you...

You don't take a dex, but I drop my... So Terminus says, I hit it like it hits a patch of his armor, and it falls out, it jars my sword, and that part of the floor is rubber there. It then bounces right into the poop pit. Oh! What are the odds? The one part pit. Oh. What are the odds?

The one part of the floor. What are the odds? That was rubber. Come on. On other news, they know how to cultivate rubber. Wow. And was that your, whatchamacallit, your final attack? That was it.

All right. Barry. Oh, my God. Let me tell you. It's been kind of relaxing just sitting back here in the cut, watching Jimmer take down giants. I know, I'm not going to do anything. Metro remainder of the combat.

You should just jump from outhouse to outhouse for the rest of this combat and see how many hours. Just to see if I can. Yeah, just see if you can. It is almost like a Scooby-Doo thing where they're running into the different doors and poking their heads out. It's a farce. Like the Globetrotters are running after them.

Yeah, it's a farce yeah well baron's gonna keep up the farcical nature of this combat and run 5 10 15 20 25 30 35 40 towards the northernmost giant um it looks like you barely moved because the map is so big and i have biggest shit pile ever and let me just let me just do a quick measure, thanks to Roll20, that'll be pretty easy to do. So the giant's about 95 feet away as a crow flies. Yep, you're sitting at about 8 o'clock here on the outhouse clock. You know what? But are you going to, on the outhouse clock, are you going to give him cover if I shoot from here?

Well, it's not a... Does he have cover is the question, Grant. That is such a classic, Grant. Are you going to give him cover? Are you going to give him cover? There are rules that govern cover. Yeah, I know. Are you going to give him cover? In Grant's defense,

we've rarely gotten them right. It's true, yeah. I still don't know how it works, but yes, I'm going to give him some cover. Don't use that language. You're screwing up your message. I'm going to give him some Cuv. Don't use that language. You're screwing up your message. Yes, I am going to give Cuv to him. So 95. The giant that is more than half behind that outhouse. That is officially two range increments outside of my gun's 40-foot range at 95 feet,

but I'm going to spend, you know, a grip point. A little grittage. A little grip point. I'm going to get on my dead shot and resolve against touch AC, but I'm going to take those. Minus two penalties. Okay. Let's see what you got. I'm going to up the ante.

Oh, man. To a misfire. I'm going to pull both triggers on my gun. Oh, what? That's what a double barrel gun does. I rarely do it. Wow. So it's going to be minus four.

Yep. Minus four for the range. Okay. Minus four for pulling both triggers. Oh, yeah, because it's an AC-8, right? Yeah. So let's see. You know what he hasn't done in a while?

Misfire. That's true. He really hasn't had a good old-fashioned misfire. Let's see. If both barrels are shot at once, they both target the same creature object, and the pistol becomes wildly inaccurateurate imparting a minus four Penalty on both shot so yes If both perils are shot at once

Which is one action is what I'm reading it as Alright Grant Let's see what you got Or both can be fired once as a standard action So that's where it is It's getting a nice little plus four to it's AC They're getting a minus eight To each of these holes

Let me make sure rapid shot is off. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. It's not a minus. Oh, right, right. Plus four to its AC and minus eight to the rolls. Right. Because of the range increment. Range increment and the shooting.

Well, because you gifted it Cub. Yes, I gave it Cub. You're very kind. Couldn't you have just stepped instead of going out that far? Oh, I walked 40 feet, though. So if I move back 20 feet, we can make it even more difficult. Oh. Let's do it. I thought it was a standard action.

I move 40 feet. 40 feet is a double move. Oh, right. 20. Okay, so let's see how long it is now. And I think he's going to lose the Cove at this point. 115. 115, so that's the same amount of range ignorance.

40 feet, so 41 to 89 or 90 is two. Yeah, that's within three, so it's the same minuses. Okay, he still gets cub. Alright, here it goes. Here it goes. Five.

So you said minus four for that? That's his AC, though. No, don't worry about my AC. I won't worry about yours. Just worry about your many, many penalties. So minus 8. So that's a negative 3 to start it off with.

But plus 15. I don't like the way you do math. 12 against touch AC. 12 against touch AC. Are you certain? Yes. Are you certain? I am very certain. That against Touch AC. Are you certain? Yes. Are you certain? I am very certain.

That's a hit. Yes! Because Touch AC is 12. Okay, so that's the first shot. That is ridiculous. I can still misfire on the second shot. I still can't believe it. That's unbelievable.

24 points on that attack. What is the reason to pull both barrels? That's, uh... Unbelievable. 24 points on that attack. What is the reason to pull both barrels? It's just, it's like vital strike, kind of. Oh, because you moved. You didn't do one move, actually. That's a good way of putting it. Like, if you only get a chance to make one attack, why not take the penalty and try and hit both of them?

Here comes the moment of misfire or crit. It's going to be one or the other. I can feel it. Three. That's a misfire. That's a misfire. That's a misfire. Oh, my God. You called it a misfire.

Oh, wow. It's like pointing at left field. I know. You're like a reverse Babe Ruth. You pointed at, like, foul territory. I still feel pretty okay considering how wildly far away I am from this combat right now. Yeah, I mean, it's amazing you could even get that shot off. All right, well, we'll leave you with your misfire.

I like that. This combat certainly is not over. All right, so now it's going to go to Thun's turn. Thun, Sheriff Thun, what should I do? Should I try to make my way there stealthily? Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot I was Sheriff Thun, what should I do? Should I try to make my way there stealthily? Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot I was Sheriff Thun. I was so into being barren for just those few moments.

Yes. Thun, why don't you try to get there as stealthy as you can and show me your metagaming, fourth wall breaking, sneak attack damage you mentioned earlier. All right. I will hug the wall. And all right. Rolls a pretty decent stealth check, breaking sneak attack damage you mentioned earlier. All right, I will hug the wall. And all right, rolls a pretty decent stealth check and is going to double move while hugging this

wall here to the west. And now it is Dalgrith's turn. Dalgrith man. I feel like I mispronounced your name. Dalgrith? Dalgrith. No, no, Dalgrith. Grath or Grath? Grath. Grath. Grath Grath Grath

So you pronounce it The Deathbringer Dalgrath Deathbringer Dalgrath Deathbringer I see you just said Grath Grath Dalgrath You said Grath

It's a little bit in between It's an interesting pronunciation It's where it comes from It's complicated Alright I am going to use I just got to do the math here if I can do it. It's funny, while you were talking, I actually moved Thun 60 feet, and he got all the way into that next

corridor to the south... whatchamacallit? Oh, wow. No, excuse me, the northwest. Northwest. So that fire giant, if he didn't see him, Sneaky. he can still jump out and make an attack. Cool. Dalgrath, unfortunately, is too far away to accomplish

what he needs to. You were thinking about climbing that outhouse at the end of last turn. I was, but that was before Metra and Jimmer dimension doored over to the other side of this fire giant that he's looking at. So it would be great to get in flanking position, but he doesn't have the movement speed to get there without provoking an attack of opportunity. Even with the Haystony?

Yeah, even with the Haystony, because he's got to roll acrobatics to avoid it, and that halves his speed, so he would not have enough. So you're not going to climb the outhouse, and I can't replay that scene from Breaking Bad when Jesse goes through the porta potty. Oh, he's gone.

Because that was my plan. I'm sure it was. Ah, straight to the poop. You know what? Dog Wraith is just going to move out and show himself. Oh, wow. He'll, you know, I mean, there's nothing he can do. There's nothing he can do.

Nothing he can do at this point. He just has to basically ready himself for an opening to dive into this creature and attack it when he can avoid the attack of opportunity. So that's what he's doing. That's what you're feeling, the attack of opportunity. Yes. You could double move and get up to him, but that's going to provoke. Right. And I would need to use the haste to do it.

So I have limited haste left. I don't want to use a haste and then take 35 points of damage and then miss. Well, you could try stealthing, right? Because he was unaware of your purpose. Yeah, because you were hidden for a minute. You were hidden behind the outhouse. No, it doesn't work that way. It's dim light.

He can see. He's aware of everything around him that's not behind something. I mean, I could take a ranged shot from behind that thing for example but moving to attack him is it's just not gonna matter all right well it is his turn one fire giant is dead dalgrith came out of the bathroom and is now thinking about his next move. Baron has finally entered the combat and shot from 115 feet away. Thun has made his way sneakily to the northwest corridor. Maybe he'll just take off. See you, Thun.

We'll never know. Metra has been riding Jimmer. I'll see you, Thun. See you, Thun. Oh, boy. Get out. Get out. Metra has been riding Jimmer left and right all over this place,

dropped Jimmer up to this second giant after dispatching of the first one. Jimmer strikes and drops his sword. The giant looks at Jimmer. Jimmer, do you have improved unarmed strike? I do not. So would that mean you can't make an attack of opportunity Since you're unarmed Or can he at a minus

Rhetorical question you can't I looked it up beforehand The giant grabs Terminus S What And throws it into the shit Oh no We'll see you next week

Fuck you Fuck you It's week. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. It's poop time. Fuck you. Fuck you. The Glass Cannon Podcast is a Glass Cannon Network production and is an officially licensed partner of Paizo Incorporated. Giant Slayer is copyright 2015.

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