The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 217 - Her Dark Materials

Episode Date: July 23, 2019

With Thoon's guidance, the heroes reach the cavern with the crack in the ceiling, but the path forward is not as clear as it appears. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast. To reach their goal, the heroes must cross a vast distance. Two other FGs in front of that door to the northeast. Yeah, but one looks beefy. One looks a little beefy and cheesy. You guys want to dip? Before reinforcements arrive. My concern here is if we go in for a strike.

Those two by the door, they've shown a predilection to call for a backup fast. We've got to cut those two off before we worry about the one in front. So we've got to get by the one in front first and give the other two no way to get to that back door. So they'll look to their new ally for intelligence. They have it lit to make sure they can see anything or anyone coming. They are protecting something behind that door. But can they be trusted?

Listen, friend Thune, I just want to say, so far you've been absolutely true to your word, and I appreciate that. But if you do anything from this point forward to betray us or our cause... The adventure continues. This is just like, let's do this. Alright, thumbs up. Let's do it. Jank it.

Alright. No. Hey everybody, welcome to episode 217 of the Glass Cannon Podcast. I'm Skid. I want to say that we had an amazing time playing through the first half of Silent Tide, the PFS scenario adapted into second edition Pathfinder for us, especially by Eric Mona himself. It was really great. I'm just, we're just starting to get a feel of second

edition and uh i think i i'm really liking it so far i think everybody is and you should join us for the second half of that adventure coming up this thursday the 25th at 8 p.m eastern uh and we're also i mean pretty soon after that we we're going to a Gen Con and can't wait to see all of you guys there. Those of you who will be there, we've got two live shows coming up. Can't wait to do those and see everybody there. But in the meanwhile, let's jump right into this latest episode, 217. We're sitting here, getting ready to record a brand new episode of the Glass Cannon Podcast. I've heard of that.

It's the flagship show of the network, Matthew Capitacasa. And we're all getting in the zone. Matthew is doing his vocal exercises. Joe is doing push-ups. Oh, now a brown cow. Skid has his eyes closed. He's definitely getting into Jimmer's mindset. And Grant is just talking about his new phone.

Going on and on about his fancy new phone he got on Prime Day. I just feel like if Baron has, you know, things that seem anachronistic with a gun in a fantasy setting, why can't he have a cell phone? I'm just trying to open the gates so that when we have a knowledge check, Baron can just Google it. It'd be a huge boon. The problem being that there's no internet. Right. So all he would have is constantly roaming. A bunch of selfies of him just looking cool with his pistol held up.

Where do you see your bill when you get back to Trinidad? Oh, boy. I've been roaming for days, weeks, months. I wonder if any of you have aged. Have we gone through a year? No, I don't think so. Yeah, I think it's been three and a half weeks. Since you entered.

Since the attack on True Now. It's like most of us are dead since we started the podcast. A lot of people died. They never aged. You know what's funny? Since you've entered Ash Peak, it's only been a couple hours. But it's been like episode after episode after episode. Back to your phone, though.

You got a deal. It was regularly $900 and you paid $600 for it? It was regularly $900. I paid $700, yeah. You made it sound like a great deal. No, it was regularly $1,000. I only paid like $600, $700 for it. $700.

That's a lot for a phone. No, it's not But when you get like AT&T That you just pay it slowly over time But you don't ever own the phone No one's going to take this phone away from me When you pay it off you own the phone Yeah but it's broken then

I paid off my phone If I stop paying for it are they going to come repossess my iPhone You don't ever do anything dangerous Your phone's never going to get close to breaking You haven't looked at his photos Listen I almost got hit by like 17 cars on my run today I'm repossessed You don't ever do Anything dangerous Your phone's never Going to get close to But you haven't Looked at his photos I haven't looked At my photos Listen I almost Got hit by like

17 cars on my run Today I was like I got home and I Was like I better Do nothing for the Rest of the day Because I was like A cat

The reason I buy Phones outright is So I can go to Any carrier at Any time I'm not Under contract and I was also in a Situation where my

Phone broke and I Still owed like 12 More months on it So it was such a Big bummer Okay and you really like this phone what do you like about it it's got three different lenses what podcast is this i didn't think this was gonna lead the podcast i want to know what you like you're like look at it's got you can do a telephoto lens well what is the phone first of all lens the galaxy s10 which who are not who are not paying for it look at it look at how much screen that is It's a lot of screen

It's a lot of screen Almost the whole phone is a screen Yeah It's like Look at this All screen iPhone See that

I pay 30 bucks a month for it For two years I don't know For like six years I'll end up paying like $1,700 for this phone The phone They're more expensive than you think

Yeah They're always more expensive They're like computers And you got that iPhone When it was brand new So that was like Twelve hundred dollars I saw this meme

It's not even a meme Somebody put up this Thing it was like An ad from 1989 Radio Shack And it had like Twenty different gadgets On it

Yeah And it was like All of these are now In your pocket On the phone Oh yeah A TV A video camera

An actual camera My dad recently posted Like the Sony Portable Betamax player ad it was just like watch a movie wherever you are and it weighs like 90 pounds i was like all right dad every once in a while your post workout he doesn't listen don't worry he thinks he thinks that i made up a pretty major character on another show that he has a t-shirt of and i'm just i don't have the heart to tell him every time he puts it on he's like my boy made this character i was like

troy did he's your real son i'm gonna tell him wait i might come to a cookout what character clip glorp oh yeah oh that's right did we talk about that i know we talked i know we did a little after the corporate party uh debrief but did we talk about grant's I know we talked, I know we did a little after the corporate party debrief. But did we talk about Grant's father and the punches in you and everything? No, no, no. Oh, my father-in-law, yeah. Yeah, I'm sorry, your father-in-law. I mean, that was just, that was amazing.

Grant, you were in, during our company party, Grant's in-laws came along with his wife. And first thing Grant is like, hey hey come over here punch troy in the stomach really hard like you're doing a really so how you partner knock him unconscious make him throw up actually i was like no no i i i could possibly and mr yow couldn't have been kind to me he's like no no i don't i don't want to punch your friend like no come on hit him really hard my friend he kind of punched me in the end you know it was great he got to turn i turned the i said did you get the i took footage of the whole thing. Oh, my God. I haven't seen it. I'd love to see it. I'd love to see it on my new Galaxy S10 smartphone.

Well, good luck with your amateur porn phone. It was amazing, though, how he did it. I mean, it looked like he was deliberately getting within an inch of you and not hitting you. And the way that he was moving his whole body, it looked like it really messed you up. He talks about chi his whole body. It looks like it. Well, no, he really messed you up. He talks about like chi and controlling it. And I don't understand it on another level, but it's all about breathing. And it's all about his core strength and about pushing all his core strength into like a short punch. But you could see it physically.

Yeah. You'd see the way that he moved. I've never seen anybody move like that. Yeah, it's insane. I always say like Mr. Yow is one of the nicest people in the world. And that's a really good fucking thing for all the rest of us because we'd all be in deep trouble if he wasn't i bet you he's an unchained monk that's yes yeah super unchained yeah super unchained yeah troy can i ask a question all right was that whole thing about grant's phone just a setup so you could

make the amateur porn joke that didn't it die well it died it got buried because joe was still talking about mr yeah but and it wasn't funny yeah well i like the idea of being so excited about a telephoto lens on your phone like what is this you close-up of genitals what do you need that i want i want to be able to shoot genitals from far away and have it look like i'm right on top how about just being being at the brewery i want them to think i'm sending a text but really what about being at the brewery where you oftentimes to think I'm sending a text But really What about being At the brewery Where you often times

Are with your son Which is you know Questionable I'm calling Child protective services Later And Just getting a close up

On the bubbles Coming off the top Of your beer Wouldn't that be nice That is what you Should focus on Yeah the bubbles That's what people

Want to see You know a nice Little detail shot Of the bubbles Why don't you take Some photos of us Playing Well you asked me To do that several episodes ago,

and I was like, no. Several. 150. You didn't find the email. It was years ago. Early on, Grant brought his super nice camera. He was taking photos during the session. He took some video, and he synced it up with the audio.

It was awesome. The battle is true now. Grant photographed. Yeah. That's in the Lost Archives podcast. Yeah. Speaking of the Lost Archives podcast. Speaking of the Glass Cannon podcast. Scroll down our Tumblr.

Though, we should play this game. You should. I've been so excited to get back into this. Man, we are in a cool spot. Cool spot. We haven't played in a while. How do you play this game? You know, we're not 100% sure.

We figure out as we go. We make some mistakes. Who else? Good thing you found Thun, huh? He's been able to sort of guide you here. But as he said, before you guys even came this way, like, I've never been this far. In that last room you were at, he's like, I've never gone down any of these other tunnels. But I believe we're going in the right direction. And sure enough, you were. As you continued, what you feel like is a northeasterly pattern throughout these winding tunnels.

And now you come to a room that I think I described for you. But if I didn't, I'll give you a little refresher course. Rough natural cavern. Lit. The whole cavern is lit by magical light. It's fucking lit, yo. It's fucking lit, yo. It's fucking lit in here. Get your camera. And has tunnel exits to the southwest,

the northwest, and the northeast. The southwest is where you guys are coming from. Stair-like natural ridges climb towards the northeast exit, which is blocked by a pair of large iron doors. Also near the northeastern exit, stout wooden beams hammered in place with iron spikes support a cracked ceiling.

To the south, there are doors leading somewhere as well, and they are extended from another elevated area that kind of takes up the whole southern portion of the room. You look at that area and you think, like, giants could easily just step up and down, but for you guys, it'd be a little bit more difficult. You might be able to jump it, do a little acro, maybe roll an acro check. You said acro like it was the drug in a futuristic movie from the 90s.

You want to do some acro? Minority report. Yeah, exactly. A little bit of acro, I'm sure I can make that jump. Otherwise, it's probably going to be a little difficult terrain-y action to go from one tier to the next. Looks like Dalgrith, I mean, I've got to zoom in so far to find out who is what on this ridiculous map. Enormous.

Enormous map. Dalgrith was the one that stealthy McGeed up to the entrance here. And that's what you see. You see one fire giant that's kind of like patrolling, chilling, minding his business. And then two other FGs in front of that door to the northeast. Yeah, but one looks beefy. One looks a little beefy and cheesy. Who do you guys want to deal?

Man, this is like, this is a huge open space. Can you give me some sense of... I can't give you that, Joe. Well, the lighting? I can't. The lighting? Did you already talk about the lighting? Yep, magical light, bro.

And is low light magical low light across the board, or just magical regular light? Normal light, we'll say. And so there's no obstructions between where I'm looking at these fire giants and the fire giants? No, the fire giant is looking directly at you. Oh, so he's already seen me. No, I'm kidding. Okay, so there's no... Hey! What are you doing over there, little guy? Alright, Dahlgraith is just going to creep away. Okay.

And stealth back to his party. Okay, roll that old stealth check. Really? Good God. Come on, man. Just give me a freebie. It's full of light in here, man. This is where Joe's game always falls apart. Let's see. He's the only guy who's got a plus 40 of stealth and he'll roll something in the 30s. I know, I know.

I have to look at... I have to look under my conditions. Make sure I'm not... Have something on for him before I hit the box. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's okay. 36. You seem to be all right. Okay, so I'm going to sneak back to the group I think we found a target

I saw the crumbling roof in the distance But it's well guarded Two fire giants one larger one Something like we saw at the entrance I I don't know that we have much hope Sneaking over that open ground though There's no obstructions between us and them.

They'll spot us as soon as we come around that corner, Jim. And no shadows to hide in. And no shadows to hide in. There's got some sort of magical light through the whole place. We can't. We both have to take them out, but also not make enough noise to alert them behind the doors. Is there some way to trans-operate toward the end of that kind of area? but also not make enough noise to alert them behind the doors. Is there some way to trans-operate toward the end of that kind of area where we can get the jump on them and then collapse that ceiling

and then we'd cut them off right then and there, right? Can I roll a engineering? I'm not going to have it, am I? No, I don't have knowledge engineering. I wanted to see if I could roll a... I'm not going to have it, am I? No, I don't have knowledge engineering. Yeah. I wanted to see if I could roll knowledge engineering just to get a sense of, like, what it would take to make it crumble. Is it going to take an hour of work, or is it something you could just with one hit do?

I don't think it would be something with one hit you could do. Can you tell Baron about it, and maybe he could roll? Or can he go up and look? This is something, knowing, just seeing the pure distance between here and there, that's something you'd have to be up close to really try and figure out. That's about 300 feet away, 270 feet away

from where Dalgrith peeped in. But it looked like the ceiling was falling apart. It's got to be what Thun here told us about. And Thun pipes up, he's like, can you describe the area to me? It's a wide open stretch of open ground up to the northwest, it seems. It cuts away to another cavern.

And then to the south, it rises up to a higher plateau with two doors hidden south. And then behind the fire giant that's patrolling the lower area, steps up, great, huge steps up, to a door in the distant northeast where the crumbling ceiling seems to be. And the two fire giants left hook up there right by that door guarding the entrance. And there's only one door. There's two doors to the south. I don't know, uh, where they might lead, but they come right back the way

we're standing now. The doors to the south, are they wide? Do they look of the same make as the one door near the cracked ceiling? Um, yep. Uh, oh. No, they're smaller, right? Smaller, yeah, they're smaller. Yeah, so as they know, it looks like

it's made for one, one giant to pass through, whereas're smaller, right? Smaller, yeah, they're smaller. So as they know, it looks like it's made for one giant to pass through, whereas the other, the one that is guarded by two giants, is a double door. Are there any other exits from the room? There's one to the northwest. It doesn't seem to be a door. It just disappears into another cavern. Turns back on itself. My concern is that beyond that door may be more than the barracks. Beyond that door may lead to the upper levels.

If we were to collapse the ceiling now, we may seal ourselves off from continuing on this journey. Sense motive. What if the barracks is to the northwest or to our south? Natural 20 on the sense motive. Ooh, beat me. I got a 22. No, you still beat me. I only have a plus one.

Oh, 22. 22. Yeah, you think he's telling the truth. Well, I can get us there. I can have some invisibility spells left so I can get at least a couple of us there. A couple of us where? Up to the crack to

investigate it, but Thune doesn't want us to collapse it now. Right, I don't think there's any way around fighting these three before we examine the would it be is there any benefit do we think we should check out the two doors to the south first up up uh up in the raised level with that would we want to do that before we attempt this my only concern is that unless we're all invisible it might wake them up. I don't know, but can they even see those doors?

I mean, they might see us climbing up. They will definitely see us climbing up. And even if we were invisible, A, they could hear us, and B, they could see a door open. Right? Those doors to the south are visible, even though they're on a higher plateau. They're still visible. They're not like a whole level up or something. Yeah.

But the angle would cut off the doors. So they would still see a door open. If the room was darkness, you'd have a lot better chance, but where it's fully lit. Can we cast darkness? Yes, but they would see it and know something was up. Oh, yeah, but they'd be confused. I guess it's nightfall. Inside the volcano.

Everyone let down. Well, so it seems like we can't afford a fight, is what Thune's team is suggesting to us. Yeah, and Dalgray thinks the exact same thing. He thinks that this is going to be a straight up fight. I just don't like the fact that you told me it was well

lit in there. Everything up to this point has been shadowy and umbrous. The only reasons I can think of wanting to keep a place lit that wide is so they could get work done or they could keep an eye out and neither of those things bode well for us.

I mean, again, I'm not as Well stacked on spells as I was At the beginning of this volcano I still can Do some of those some similar things to Try to control the battlefield try to Separate them try to draw them To us but you know and I've I've spent a lot of daily Abilities but I'm I'm

Healthy oh I the other thing Is they have sorry I owe you a Grit point by the way you owe Me a grit point, by the way. You owe me a grit point? I saw someone mention that I should have used another point of grit when I went two ranges beyond my first increment for Deadeye, so I'm going to use that now. Hand it to me. Put it in my hand. Grant is pulling a piece of his soul out.

Oh, God. Oh, he gave me his phone. And then he actually did spit it out. No, thanks for the phone. Oh, God. Oh, he gave me his phone. And then he actually did spit it out. No, thanks for the phone. My concern here is if we go in for a strike, those two by the door,

they've shown a predilection to call for a backup fast. We've got to cut those two off before we worry about the one in front. So we've got to buy the one in front first the give the other two no way to get to that back door well now that was my suggestion was to if we could somehow peer behind that front that point man and get closer to the ones in the back yeah there is a would be surrounded but you know at least it'd be uh wouldn't have to waste a lot of time getting into the fight yes and i believe sheriff Thune has a point. Oh, God.

Damn it. Ah, yes! The fact that it's very well lit in here makes me believe that they have it lit to make sure they can see anything or anyone coming. They're protecting something behind that door. Ah, okay. Well, I can

teleport us between them and the door but we would be in well that would be like crammed there's like five feet of space there i mean i i don't mind that idea the question i have though is the light source that you described to joe i wasn't quite listening was it a decentralized source or was it something we could attack? No, it just seems like there's magical ambient light in the whole area. I just want to be... I just don't see a source. I kind of want to be like in a Splinter Cell game

where you would shoot out the lights and then sink in. That's what I want to do. I want to dispel the magic, but if we can't find a source... You could finally use your profession, Sam Fisherman. Aww. Bottlecap? That was goodman. Aww. Bottlecap. The old useless grant bottlecap. It doesn't, Sam. It's worth nothing.

Does someone who has knowledge local, can they tell me if fire giants have darkvision? We learned already. We already know they don't. They don't. You know they have low lightvision. That's why I wanted to. So if I cast dark... You could cast darkness on the battlefield.

You're just a grown up jimmer. Yeah. No, he has darkvision. Right? Don't you have the goggles? I could cast darkness on the battlefield. You're just a grown-up jimmer. Yeah. No, he has darkvision, right? Don't you have the goggles? I do. I have the goggles. Oh, so, I mean, if we teleport in and darkness them, that's huge. That's a 50% chance.

Yeah, that would be so scary. I would pee. Oh, yeah. That's total Ghost Recon. Here's the thing. So if it's magical light, if I cast darkness, it just brings it down to a level. It drops it one step. So it does nothing.

I have deeper darkness. So that should bring it down to regular darkness. But we can't see either in deeper darkness. I think you should do that. Dark vision, you can't see. No, because it brings it down two steps. Oh, because it's magical light. Yeah, okay.

What is the area of effect on that? 60-foot radius. That's pretty sweet. Let's plunk a little 60-footer down in the middle of them and see if that gets them all. Would it? It would definitely. And then we can hop right in the middle.

We can hop right in the middle. Yeah, 60-foot gets them all. But my only concern with that is if it goes suddenly completely dark, those two are just going to turn around and bang on that door. Well, we can appear first. We teleport into the area first, and then next round. I mean, that would be a surprise round, I assume. And then Metro's first action would be to lower the dark.

So they'd probably come charging at us first Well we thought that before And they charged away But if they're protecting the door There might not be help on the other side The door might just be a path to another Level whereas the barracks might be One of these other doors

So they might be protecting the entrance But even if the help Gets summoned they're going to be coming into darkness. Right. So how long does the darkness last, the deeper darkness? Ten minutes per level. Oh, that's good. What's your range?

Touch. Oh, what? Touch yourself. Well, no, it's like light. You have to touch. I have to touch something. Teleport in or cast on yourself and teleport us in. I guess I could cast on myself and we just teleport in. Just keep everybody close. Teleport in or cast on yourself and teleport us in. I guess I could

cast on myself and we just teleport in. Keep everybody close. That's true as well. As soon as we appear, it would be darkness. That's pretty dope. And could you cast invisibility on Dalgrith? Yeah. I mean, I don't have... This would deplete my spells. I have two second level spells left, so I could

do invisibility twice. That's it. I don't think we're doing much. And collapsing the tunnel, that's the goal for today. We've come to the end of today's goal. Good day! That's a solid day's work. We've also got to get the rescued slaves into a more tenable situation, but that's

another conversation. I could also use arms and armor. Right. We need to outfit Thun. How would you like me to take part in this battle? I'm happy to get up in their business, but I am vulnerable. Do you have darkvision, Thun? I do.

Sure, if I let him to stay back. He's been an invaluable source of information, and you can see he's not going to take more than one hit from these giants. Thune, I need you to be a bit of a battlefield informant during this battle. I want you to tell us if anyone enters through the doors to the

south or comes in through the northwest that Dalgrith told us about, we need to watch all entries and exits into this area during this battle. If you follow through with Metra's plan and teleport your way in, perhaps I could stealth around slowly to the south and be your lookout. Yeah. Those doors.

If you'd like. Well, it might be a little risky. I don't know. I could use a Deathbringer and Jimmer's input as well as Metra's. You might even want to look into one of those doors while we're fighting. No, I disagree. Let's control the battlefield. And then if...

I agree. We could also have you, if you wouldn't mind, take the attention of one of them. But then if he comes up close to you you got to get out the fast so basically what he's saying is like leave him back kind of behind in the middle and if the giant that's out further doesn't come back up to us right away and goes after thun just have thun kite him for a minute like just double moving away full withdraw back towards where you guys are right now yeah example exactly and that would just get by us a couple rounds yeah and then maybe thun could hide in the shadows somewhere between here and the other place the fire town will

probably get uh disinterested and turn back around it might buy us a round or two is all i'm thinking um all right so the plant you want to be in the delaware wants to be invisible yeah i'm gonna need to protect myself so i might go mirror image um and then i'll teleport i'll deeper darkness something on my person teleport us right in up onto their level and then we spring an attack is what we're saying right and well what are we using the other invisibility for are you going to keep it for emergencies i would use it a mirror image on myself that would be my other second oh gotcha gotcha that's a rainy day invisibility you might want to because you might need to leave because you don't want to be in melee combat you might want to cast it on a stone you could drop at the beginning of your

round as a free action so yeah so that it would stay in one area yeah yeah that's a good so it's not on you or something on your attached to your person so you could leave there or a coin or something okay um do we not see i don't have a lot of buffing ability now let's see what else i can do though the thing is i think we need to leave the first fire giant outside of the range of the darkness and let him come into the darkness because we want to go we want to go to a spot like kind of right next to those giants and put doll great than jimmer right in melee combat right away with both of them but doll great than visible and then hopefully in that first surprise round i can get a grip on them

great yeah let's get attach yourself to one of them like a limpet yeah actually you know what then don't put me invisible because that doesn't just doesn't make any sense um because i would go i would become visible as soon as i grabbed onto him oh well then i'll just vanish you uh perfect that'll work because i just need the i don't even need the one round i just need it in because I would become visible as soon as I grabbed onto him. Oh, well, then I'll just vanish you. Perfect. That'll work, because I don't even need the one round. I just need it in case it's a low initiative roll. But as a surprise round, I could grab on. So if we were tracking this combat round,

I would do the vanish right before the teleport, so you would have five rounds of being invisible. I mean, that's pre-combat, basically, but yeah. Oh, right. Troy doesn't like the pre-combat. Well, it's different. It looks like what what you're doing and you're jumping into combat yeah it's vanish next round teleport yeah right i'm fine with that in the sense that like if you're running into the room it gets a little trickier but um you're going and you're appearing then we

roll for initiative and then the only other question is should we focus fire so should dalgrath and jimmer be going after the same giant when we jump in instead of splitting between the two giants? Well, there's one that looks stronger. Yeah. There's two that are like soldiers and one that's a boss. So I think we should probably try to take out the soldier first because we might be able to take him down quickly. I can delay. I can work on the boss a little bit.

There you go. Okay, let's try that. Well, I just saw I have a spell-like ability called Enveloping Darkness. Hmm. At 50, because of an ability, I can use this, but you may create an area of deeper darkness that you can see through without penalty. All creatures except you are entangled within this darkness, unless using the freedom of movement or a similar effect.

You may use this ability once per day. Phil is just like, let's do this. Food! All right, thumbs up, let's see. Jenkins! His name is Thune Jenkins. I sense we're being urged. 33.333.

Okay, I will mirror image myself. Wait, before we go, before we go, Jimmer does want to do one thing. He pulls Thune aside. Yes. And he said, listen, friend Thune, I just want to say, so so far you've been absolutely true to your word and i appreciate that but it just lowers his voice it's like i just want to say uh

i i don't know anything about your kind i don't know anything about your anatomy how it works i don't know what you like i don't know what causes you like, I don't know, what causes you pain, or what, say, could cause you enough pain that you'd be begging for death just so it would stop. But I do want to promise you that if you do anything from this point forward to betray us or our cause, I will absolutely take my time to find out. Understood, Mr. Hardy. Understood. All right, let's go.

All right, let's go. Don't dare to lie to me. Can I do an intimidate check? Yeah, sure. That is a 36. You got it. All right, we understand each other. Let's get in there.

I hear you loud and clear, Mr. Hardy. All right, Metro. There are eight Metros. Well, eight plus Metro, so nine Metros. I'll kill them all. And then I vanish dog wreath. Okay. And I teleport us.

Do you cast the darkness first? Oh, sorry. I cast darkness on a rock. I pick up a rock and I cast darkness. I hold it. And then I vanish dog wreath. Okay. And then next round, teleport us into...

Oh, man. The giants. Roll for initiative. round teleport us into the Giants roll for initiative just a giant black spot appears 120 foot diameter circle oh my god that's gonna take both of them right both sets of Giants depending on how I position myself all right yeah put yourselves on the map while you give me the initiative numbers. Let's start with Mr. Hardy.

Initiative. Oh, yeah, 25. 25 for Mr. Hardy. Dalgrith. 29. Thank God. It's about time. There we go.

27. Not too shabby. A bit slow there, thank God. It's about time. Oh, there we go. 27. Ah! Not too... Not too shabby. A bit slow there, my friend. Thune got an 18. 18 for Thune. A gentleman's 18. What about you, Metra?

17. 17, okay. What's your initial bound? Plus 7. Plus 7, okay. So you guys want to... We should also know... How are we landing here?

I think we undersold How big this room is This map is so huge It's difficult to move Our pawns around it It really was I had to do it In several steps I could have just

Took you all over there Alright so you guys Are appearing Within 15 feet Of the fire giant Lieutenant there right No no no We're appearing

In melee Directly next to him I just dropped myself there So I couldn't get myself Across the map So put yourselves Where you actually want to be. And I have to be touching all of you,

so wherever you two need to end up, I need to be next to you. Yeah, so basically I want Dalgrath to be right next to the big guy and have Jimmer right next to him. And then we should have Metra behind Jimmer. Okay. And then Baronius will need to be next to me. You know, even behind you, yeah. Thune feels very alone in this moment.

Oh, he's 300 feet away from me. Perhaps this will be the last you've seen him. I think he's looking up and going, Thune River, wider than the mud. We would also position Thune right near the doorway at the start of that, not 30 feet from the doorway. So just get him close to the doorway, but not visible. Yeah, because that's going to allow him to get over there. Now, I'm trying to figure out, let me ask you what you think. Do you think you should get a surprise round

on top of the movement into this space, or do you consider that to be your surprise round? I'm open to your thoughts on this. Oh, I see, because we went into it. I think we should get a surprise round. Well, I know you think that. Well, no. That's why I'm curious. I think I'm pretty fair with these things. Yeah. It's an instantaneous, like

that was the moment of surprise. Yeah. They still haven't seen us yet. They still haven't seen you yet. Usually the surprise round starts like when they see you or when you're doing something to them. The next couple seconds are them going aww. And like not knowing where we are. They haven't located us yet. There's two schools of thought on it

It's like you getting the jump on them Allowed you to take your action to get out there You know what I mean Is it fair to say maybe Metra has used her surprise However you want to do it I'm going to say that was Metra's surprise Casting teleport was my surprise But I'm going to give the rest of you a full on surprise

And we'll start with Dalgrith So what happens to the light What happens to the light Yeah that'm going to give the rest of you a full-on surprise and we'll start with Dalgrith. So what happens to the light? What happens to the light? Yeah, that's going to be really important. So it moves two steps down. Yeah, so it's darkness for a 120-foot radius there.

And I'll put an aura right on you. You're in the back there? Metro's between Baron and Dalgrith. I don't see Jimmer. I don't see Jimmer. Jimmer has disappeared.

My Roll20 is being very screwy and I can't even find like I think he disappeared into the dark. That's what you get for threatening Thune. Oh no! I won't cross you Mr. Hardin. That's the last you ever saw of Jimmer.

He disappeared into the fog of war. Never to be seen again. I got you Jimmer. There you are. You got him? Yep, got him. Okay, perfect. And Metro, I'm going to give you a little rock here. You can either drop it or hold onto it or whatever, and I'll add the aura around it. Let's see here.

Oh, you know what? Looks like the other fire giant, the one that was patrolling, is currently not caught in the darkness. So he has no idea what's going on. He's like, things just got really dark back there. Hey, I thought we were going to change that magical light. One of the bulbs is out. I've been telling you for weeks to change that. Call Bruce!

The ceiling's broken, we need new light bulbs! Uh, alright. Uh... Surprise round. Dalgrith. Dalgrith is going to, um... Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Jeez, now it's like... He's right at Jason to the soldier.

All right, he's just going to attempt to grab onto this soldier. Yeah, we appeared adjacent to the... with Jimmer and Dogwraith adjacent to the soldier. So you're going after the soldier, not the loo. Yeah, Jimmer's going to go... Dogwraith is going to go after the soldier first, attempting a climb check.

Okay. And that's against its CMD? Against its CMD. Okay. Fail, fail, fail, fail, fail. 39. That's a success. Yeah!

That's nice! I've never been so excited for Jonah. And that's it. That's his surprise round. Okay. Good surprise round. Good surprise round. And he un-vanishes

So all of a sudden This guy feels him on there What is that? Well he can't see it But he felt you the whole time This is great I love fighting giants Yeah why did we even vanish you?

That's why I said Don't use invisibility The only reason is If I rolled a low initiative And was just standing there Oh okay Well he can't see you That was for me

And me alone I know I hope you guys enjoyed it. I hope they did. Wait, I just started watching Attack on Titan. Oh, you did? You did? Oh, welcome.

I'm not very far in. Yeah. It's a good show. He's 10 minutes away. I'm on chapter 119 of the manga. Let's keep on going. Well, it's Baron's turn. Baron is going to...

I'm going to use your phone. Baron's going to use it. Are you going to take a picture? I'm going to take a telephoto picture of the lieutenant. God damn it. There's no signal on this. So just one standard action and surprise round? Yes. You can use a move. You want to use a move?

Move action? I want to fire at this soldier. Alright, move action it is. We're talking. About a 28. That's a hit. And you're shooting at the soldier At the soldier Yeah okay Yes even with all those All the cover

It still All the cover you gave it Hits it All the cover I just gifted it You know what I'm gonna give this one cover I'm gonna give that one

A plus 8 27 points of damage Oh man I love it Grant This is all happening So fast You just Boom Darkness appears Out of this teleport Wait did you use 27 points of damage. Oh, man. I love it, Grant! This is all happening so fast. You just, boom! Darkness appears out of this teleport.

Wait, did you use teleport? Yeah. Did you roll a D100 for that teleport? Oh, shit. We're already dealing damage. Just for... Sorry, Troy. You moved on.

Just for asses and Gs. 16. Oh, you're back at the beginning. Back at you now. You come back into that room and there's just like eight giants examining the bodies of the fire giants you killed. What is going on? Get him! It's like in Holy Grail where the police show up to examine the body of the historian.

Jimmer, you are up surprise round. You are toe-to-toe with this guy. Okay, so Jimmer is going to spend a surprise round moving around to the back of this soldier so he can flank it with Dalgrief. Yeah, and they can't see you. Yeah, they can't see us, so... Can't do anything.

Uh, it is Thune's turn, and Thune is just going to attempt a stealth. Uh, rolls a pretty good stealth and is going to single move into position as planned. Presumably the giant not in the darkness would be distracted by the gunshot and the fact that all of his bosses

were plunged into darkness. You would hope. That is what Sheriff Thune believes. And now we'll say it's Metra's turn, but Metra already used her turn, so now we'll go to round one and it's Dalgrith again. Oh, I love it.

I love it! This is huge. This round is a very important round. We have to do all the damage we possibly can in this first round. I just want you to know, you know what? I'm going to do something here. I'm going to do something here.

We got in the mail a really nice letter from a gentleman named Tiago in Portugal. Ah. A Portuguese fan, 24 years old, who's been binging the show for a year, loves it. However, Pathfinder is not prominent in my country at all, nor is D&D, and it's hard for me to find a group of friends interested in this topic or game stores. And so my fascination for the system for now begins and ends with your group. So he's super into the show. They're all you need.

He's just about caught up. Was that Zagos speaking or you? That was him. That was him. Joseph Belichick. Personal letter. It was just a really sweet letter. He says, when I find someone to play with, even if it's my own kids, when I have them,

I'll always look back at you. Oh, that's awesome. It's really, really nice. Grant, why don't you take a photo of Joe Reed? Hold on, let me get it out. Get that telephone ready. Can I say to Tiago, one of my least favorite players on the San Antonio Spurs was Tiago Splitters.

Oh, yeah, that's right. Brazilian, the Portuguese, the language. That's really not nice. I don't know. I like you. I don't know why that was necessary. I'm necessarily mean. Anyway, he went out anyway because he was Jones-ing.

He went out and bought himself a set of dice. And was like, there's nothing I can do with this. So he just sent them to us. And he said, do whatever you... Anyone can roll it, whoever wants. And anyone can take them. He said, I rolled it once and it was a natural 18. So it might be for the omen.

Oh, that's sweet. And he said, if you're going to roll it, it could be cursed. That's fine with me, too. Whatever you guys want. So my question to you guys is, does somebody want these dice, or would you allow me to curse them? Or should I use them on this major huge round? If you use them, I want to roll it right after.

Okay. This has worked before. Yeah. All right. I want to say, obregado. Obregado. Obregado. I love the idea of him being so psyched.

He's like, I'm just going to buy some dice. And he gets home, rolls them a couple times, like, what did I do? What did I do? Why did I just spend $40 on this? Yeah. You know what? And then the shipping? I'm going to spend $30 to ship it.

Thank you so much, Tiago. We are so happy you're enjoying the show. All right. I'm going to use it. I'm going to use this D20 on this enormous, enormous round. Okay, go wrong. First, I'm going to click my heels together. Ding, ding.

Boom. Hasted. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. d20 on this enormous enormous round okay go wrong first i'm gonna click my heels together boom hasted oh yes i'm gonna oh yeah up myself to three attacks this round how many rounds of hasty i've left i have uh three rounds left oh boy three rounds left uh okay here we go first attack flanking right flanking like inanking. There's so many bonuses. Yeah. Flanking, sneak attack. I'm on the creature. Here we go.

He just crawls up. I can imagine a pure darkness, but his fiery beard is glowing in the darkness. And he just kind of whispers into this giant's ear like, I phoned you, Nick, because you're lighting the way. And he just stabs underneath the beard. Oh, okay. That's a 33. That is a hit.

Yeah! Obrigado! Obrigado! Oh, man. That is so awesome. Okay, this is going to take a minute. Oh, shit. Oh, shit.

Oh, come on. There's so many dice. So many ones. That's insane. That is insane. All right, that's a little better. That's 28 points of damage. Okay.

That's a nothing. That's a nothing. That's a nothing. That's a nothing. That's a nothing. That's a nothing. That's a nothing. That's a nothing.

That's a nothing. That's a nothing. That's a nothing. That's a nothing. That's a nothing. That's a nothing. That's a nothing. That's a nothing.

That's a nothing. That's a nothing. That's a nothing. That's a nothing. That's a nothing. That's a nothing. That's a nothing. That's a nothing.

That's a nothing. That's a nothing. That's a nothing. That's a nothing. That's a nothing. That's a nothing. That's a nothing. That's a nothing.

That's a nothing. That's a nothing. That's a nothing. That's a nothing. That's a nothing. That's a nothing. That's a nothing. That's a nothing.

That's a nothing. That's a nothing. That's a nothing. That's a nothing. That's a nothing. That's a nothing. That's a nothing. That's a nothing.

That's a nothing. That's a nothing. That's a nothing. That's a nothing. That's a nothing. That's a nothing. That is a hit. Yes. Okay, beautiful. It's another 10d6. Woo! Wow. That's pretty good.

That's a, yeah. That is 38 points of damage. Oh! Just going to town on this dude! Where the hell has this character been? And then, final final attack. Natty 19.

Yeah. Critical threat. Yes. Come on. And this is hasted. Is this your highest base attack bonus? No, it's my lowest base attack bonus. So this is the most likely one.

This might be a better die than mine. I always do the two highest and then the lowest. Oh, really? Yeah, that's how it comes up in Hero Lab. That's weird. It's a great way to do it. Here we go. That's how it's in Hero Lab.

Lowest attack bonus. I'm redoing the math because of the flanking and everything and the bane. To confirm. Natural 17 to Flank. Yes! Yes! Oh my god. Let's go Spurs.

I think I already hit on this. I don't know though. It's a 32. That is a critical hit. Critical hit. Affirmed. Beautiful. Oh, I don't know, though. It's a 32. Is that a hit, sir? That is a critical hit. Critical hit. Affirmed. Beautiful. Oh, I'm so psyched. Round one.

Round one. Dog race. Wow, Joe. I don't think you've ever done something that good. Wow. You should move to Brazil and stay there forever. This is Portugal. Portugal.

Portugal. Yeah, move to Portugal and stay there forever. Okay. Well, go to Brazil, learn Portuguese. Yes. In an environment with a lot of beaches. That'll keep you away even longer. You'd like that.

They're one-third beach. Well, that's true. I'm scanning for Portuguese submissions here in the melee criticals. I don't see one at the moment. Let's move on to Danny from Raleigh, North Carolina. Good Portuguese name. Come on and raise up. Between the ribs.

Danny Alves. He's Portuguese. Your blade finds its way through the enemy's armor between their ribs, puncturing along. Double damage and the creature is staggered. Oh! 1d3 round. Nice! As they attempt to catch their breath, the creature, blah, blah, blah.

Fortitude save negates the staggered condition. Ooh. So, uh... Well, what was your confirm? Your confirm was high. 32. My confirm was 32. Fortitude save, you said, Nick?

DC 32, fortitude save. Okay, fail. Yes! Oh my god, that's huge. 32, you said? Yeah, that's a fail. And you're doubling this damage? Do you double the precision? No, not the precision. No. But it's 12d6 now instead of 10d6. That's pretty good.

Double your bonus. It's a lot of damage. What a round, O'Brien. Yeah, it's insane. That was awesome. So that's 50 even. 50 points of damage. He had 49 hit points.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. One shot at giant. Well, in 217 episodes, I don't think you've ever done that. I've never one-shot a cat. Actually, I chipped away at him. He took it away from you. That's true.

Oh, come on. Yeah, you're right. They didn't one-shot him, but come on. Two stabs to the neck and then one to the ribs. Just glorious. Finishes him off. That's like a toddler, like, shivving Shaq to death. That's what it would look like.

Oh, God. I am having so much fun. Yeah, it's fun. Is this what it's like all the time, Grant? Is this how you feel all the time? I really have a great time on the show. Well, oddly enough, it's Baron's turn. Oh, great.

Now, the question is, do you want to keep the juice on that, or do you want to see how it performs with me? Do you want to see if Tiago's luck is just for Joe? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's pass it around. Let's pass it around. That was awesome, Tiago. Thank you.

Thank you. Swift action. Baron is going to call down Torag's grace to give him a judgment of sacred protection plus two. Oh, my goodness. Is that your last judgment of the day? That. Is that your last Judgment of the day? That is. That is my last one of the day. And here comes the first shot against the big bad with Tiago's die.

Don't let me down, Tiago. Out of the box. A four on the die, not a misfire. Thank God. That's a 20 against touch AC, so it should still hit. Yeah, you're going to be fine with that. All right. So close to a misfire.

33 points of damage on the first attack. Wow. This is on the loo? The bird man. Second attack. Yeah, on the loo. On the loo. Skip to my loo, my darling.

17 on the die. That'll hit. That'll hit. What a... 31 points of damage on the second attack. Unbelievable. The third attack. Misfire.

Oh no. There it was. Baron's going to go and take it on the fourth attack. Oh come on. Oh god. That is a 15 against Touch AC. Oh god I thought it was another Misfire. I'm sorry it's a 14 against Touch AC. That's a 15 against Touch AC. Oh, God.

I thought it was another misfire. I saw a tiny little number. I'm sorry. It's a 14 against Touch AC. That's a hit. Yeah. Oh. All right.

I thought it was a natural one. I thought it was the tiniest little number. I mean, my... Hold on. Let me just make sure how much my... When I'm... It's not an old-timey one? I'm sorry.

It's more than four... It's more than three when I'm misfired, so I just want to make sure my misfire chance... I have weapon training. Okay. I'm sorry. I'm sorry sorry i just wanted to get it right because i've gotten a lot of criticism mostly from this guy named troy over the handling uh it was a low enough number at seven where i wanted to make sure but i misfire at five or lower when my uh firearm is in the broken condition so let's roll some damage okay i. I'll allow it. Oh, max damage at the main die. I love it. Just keep it going.

30 points of damage. 30 points of damage. And that's Baron's turn. Hell of a turn. Hell of a turn. Thank God Jimmer has to move, because this guy would just be toast. All right, Jimmer, you are up, my man. All right, Jimmer is going to step up.

He has to move 10 feet to get within striking range of this thing, so he can't go full attack, unfortunately. But he does do it. It is still darkness, so he is full concealment. It should not occur in attack of opportunity. And he is going to roll his first attack with the now poop-covered Terminus S. We cleaned it off. Oh, that's true.

Oh, God. That is 27 to hit. 27 to hit is a hit. Oh, thank God. Beautiful, dude. Thank God. Thank God. Okay, and that is a card.

That must have been such a garbage roll. That was a roll to four on the die. That darkness is so brutal because it goes from a 50% mischance to a 20% so I can't take the AOL. Yeah. Just brutal. 26 points of damage. Oh god! Yeah!

Okay, okay. It's Thune's turn. Thune's going to double move here. It's so crazy these guys haven't even acted yet. Yeah. Thune double moves and in order to get up

onto that southern platform, it cost him two spaces of movement. He didn't try to use acro to get up there, but he is now on that platform and as far as you know, that other giant is focused on what's happening in the darkness here. He's hearing gunshots, he's hearing

screams of death throes, so you don't think he sees him. It is Metra's turn. Okay, Metra is going to move over to extend the darkness, or rather shift the darkness so that everybody's included in it. Okay. Including your other friend, the fire giant.

All right. And you're so far away from everybody, that's not going to... Well, actually, will that incur... Where did you start? You already started moving. You were 10 feet away. Are you going to double move, withdraw? No.

Because moving away... Oh, but they can't see. Darkness, yeah. Fucking darkness! Yeah. No, you're all right. Yeah. Lost in the shadows.

Will you have that other giant that's down below roll a reflex save, if you please? A reflex save? Yeah. Can you tell me why? Because I cast a spell that requires a reflex save. I'm listening. Now look, where you moved here, is that going to be enough to catch him in it? Yeah, it's going to catch...

I can move more. Half of that. All right, so yeah, if you move a little bit more, now everybody's caught in it. Reflex save, you say, huh? A reflex save. It's his best save. Can you imagine this giant

just standing at the edge of this thing and just seeing the darkness cover him? Just... It's just coming toward him. I love it. It was out of the box

and I would have saved in the box. Nah, 16. Fail. Hungry Pit appears beneath his feet. Oh, Hungry Pit! How did you have another one the box. Nah, 16. Fail. Hungry Pit appears beneath his feet. Oh, Hungry Pit! You have another one! Full circle. Oh, wow. And he falls,

so now you have to roll another reflex save. Incredible. Okay. I don't care for this. My Hungry Pits are hungry! Hungry Pits are great for giants. Oh, yeah. They really are. Natural 20 on the second.

Oh, no. See, like, his hands stick on the walls. You still fall. You just take half damage. Okay. Let's just calculate the old damage here. The old damage. So you take normal falling damage.

Joe Dimash, yeah. That you don't save on. So that's going to be, it's 60 feet deep So 6d6 right? Yep Halved No that one's full No I'd like it halved I'd prefer

You know what? Quarter it So you take 17 points of falling damage Okay And then it gets hungry And then the pit gets hungry So you take another 4d6 And that gets halved Why don't you take another 4d6 and that gets halved. Alright, why don't you just do

2d6? Yeah. 6 points of damage from the hungry, hungry pit. Oh, god. So that all acts on the same spell, right? I assume. On the same turn of the spell it doesn't get hungry like on its next round? Is it just chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp? I think it gets hungry on your turn.

I think that's what we said. On the giant's turn? No, on your turn. On Metra's turn. Metra's next turn or this first turn? That's the question. I mean, it's hungry on your turn. I think that's what we said. On the giant's turn? No, on your turn. On Metra's turn. We decided that before. Metra's next turn or this first turn? That's the question. I mean, it's six points of damage. I'm not going to hold you over the coals. I'm just curious more in terms of...

It takes each round as the pit contracts and then returns to a normal size. Yeah. Oh, it hasn't contracted yet. I guess it hasn't contracted yet, so we could say my next turn. Okay. Keep that six in your head. All right. And that is my turn.

All right. Hell of a turn. Thanks for playing. You're welcome. It is six in your head. All right. And that is my turn. All right. Hell of a turn. Thanks for playing. It is the lieutenant's turn, and he is upset. Not at the characters, at you as players. I'm a little upset with us that we didn't let you get a chance to play. I know. Normally, if Joe's role...

That doesn't bother me at all. Yeah. Normally, it's Joe's role in this podcast to really poke the bear when he's down. But tonight, it's Matthew. Yeah, Matthew came in hot tonight. All right. Well, let me get my D100. Roll all these.

What is it? 20% mischance? To attack right in front of you? Yes. Anything. Yeah. To attack anything. Total concealment.

Total concealment. Oh, God. 86. 86. 86. Yeah. Total concealment. Total concealment. Oh, God. 86. 86. 86. 86. He dies on the spot, bro. I'm going to put on power attack, and I'm going to do three attacks on Jimmer.

I crit 19 to 20. 50% missed chance on each one. First attack. Highest base attack bonus. 32 to hit. That's a hit. Is it? It is.

Oh, it may be. 54. Okay. That's a hit. Is it? It is. Oh, it may be. 54. Okay. Alright, so that one hits. So you're telling me there's a chance. I'm scared of this crit. Yeah, the crit would be nasty. Alright, pretty decent damage. 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. 41

points of damage. Oh yeah, that's a hit. Second attack. A little bit lower. A little bit lower to hit. Ow! This is gonna be a 27 to hit. That's a miss. 27 misses. Clang! Nice, dude. That's the penalty for the old power attackio. Last attack.

Quits 19 to 20. 50% miss chance. Okay. Here it comes. Ah! God! I couldn't see it. I can't see a die that's five feet a foot in front of me uh just say it's five feet away from you three why am i rolling so far away throwing dice across uh 28 to hit that's a miss straight up miss maybe he was able to hit you with that first attack because you

despite the magic you still smell Like vaguely of shit I probably do So you could hone in As he's swinging at Jimmer He's yelling something in giant We're under attack He's yelling in giant

In the direction of the doors God damn it The ones we're near The ones behind you We're under attack the ones that you're near. The ones behind you. We're under attack. We're under attack. The ones that you're really, really close to. The one with the cracked ceiling directly above you.

It is the other fire giant's turn. Crap. Crap. Got to climb on out. He's so far away. He's okay in terms of getting up there. They can just step up. It just prevents them from running or charging when there's a lift there.

He's in a 60-foot pit, Troy. I forgot about the pit. I forgot about the pit. You've got to climb up, Troy. Why don't you draw that pit next time, Matthew? I can't. All right, so what do I do? It's just a climb check?

It's a DC35 climb check. Okay. Awesome. DC35. Fun turns for Troy every day. The walls are ever shifting. It's difficult to climb. Okay.

Wow. This is terrible. Is there any other thing I can do besides climb? You'd have to stand up. Okay, I'll stand up first. And there's nothing else I can do besides climb out. Oh, you can take six points of damage. No, we already said that. Oh, on your turn. Sorry. It's on your turn. I mean, you can do besides climb out. Oh, you can take six points of damage. No, we already said that.

Oh, on your turn, sorry. It's on your turn. I mean, you can do whatever you want. You could read a book. You could, you know, take a needlepoint. You could... What do you want to do? Well, I'm just wondering, like,

if there's something I could do better than his climb. Can you fly? That would help. Teleport. Teleport. God yeah climb dc of 35 that is bro uses burrows we should really cast this on an uncooperative low-level npc at some point hooks over because it would murder oh okay uh well this is uh this is terrible. He makes no progress. Wow. Wow.

Nice. But I'll have you know, he has stood up. Oh, shit. It's the next round, and it is Dalgrith's turn. All right. Absolutely brutal. Dalgrith is going to hustle over to be flanking with Jimmer. Obviously.

Yes. Okay. Obviously. Yes. Darkness can't do anything about that. No, but as he's passing between the corpse of the one giant, he drops off of it and gets ready to latch on to the next giant. He wants to just look at the door. Is there anything on the door? Any symbols or markings or anything of any kind? No markings. A lock, a bar. No, it's just closed. A the door? Any symbols or markings or anything of any kind? No markings. A lock, a bar.

No, it's just closed. Wooden door? Stone door? Actually, they are iron double doors. Iron. Okay. Iron, you say? Iron, I say.

Iron, he says. All right, I'm going to hustle over there and, flanking, try to climb the giant. Okay. Once again, trying to climb this giant. That should be good. Yeah, that's a 42. Okay. Well, this is a different giant.

Oh, shit. He might have a better CMD, and he does. It's actually a 43. But a 43 is still enough. So you climb up and backflip It's actually a 43. But a 43 is still enough. So you climb up and backflip onto his hair. Do you get a bonus? Do you get a flanking bonus for that as well?

I would think so. It's an attack roll. It's a CMD. Actually, you know what? No, it is not. I'll take that away. It's a 41. Because it's a climb check. It just happens to be against CMD. So I would say it's not an attack roll. You know, flanking, that's just for your attack in this case.

But you still get up there. And is that your turn? Yeah, because he moved and climbed. I'm not going to haste this round. Okay, good. Well, good. It's only Baron's turn now. Baron is going to take his sweet time,

and he's going to hold tightly onto the grip of his pistol while he takes his finger off of the trigger, and he's going to take his other hand in a fist and hit the muzzle of the double-barreled gun. Clang! Smoke rises from it. Both barrels cleared. Yeah, nice. Click it back up.

That's what I was supposed to use, man. Harsh language? Uh, yeah. Wait, no, I meant to do this one. I'd like to keep this handy for close encounters. How is that? That's good. He's going to free action.

Clunk, clunk. Two alchemical cartridges inside the gun and clack it back open. And that's your turn? Open. No, that is not turn. Open. No. That is not a standard in a free action. He's going to move 20 feet towards the giant in the pit. And you can hear the metal on his boots just clank.

The sound of death coming for you. Clank. What a nightmare. He's in the dark in a pit eating him alive. And he can hear the spurs clinking over him. Yeah, yeah. Come on. You should be shaken. You should voluntarily take the shaking. Troy has the shaking condition.

God. Oh, good. It's only Jimmer's turn now. I'm sure this guy will live forever. Jimmer hits on a natural two. I know. Okay. So first attack, power attack on.

Sure. As usual. Sure. That is 17 on the die. That's a critical threat. Finish him. Finish him. That is a critical threat.

Standing up and hugging Skip from behind. Critical threat. We have a code of conduct in this company. Standing up and hugging Skip from behind. Critical threat. We have a code of conduct in this company. And that is a 37 on the confirmed. That is a confirmed. That'll do it. Both of those giants have been cripped. All right.

This one from Andrew in Indianapolis, Indiana. Andrew in Lisbon. Andrew in Indianapolis. Our next stop. We'll see you next time. Hey, you're going to see us? You coming to the show, bro? Andrew in Lisbon. Andrew in Indianapolis. Our next stop. We'll see our next stop. Hey, you're going to see us? You coming to the show, bro? Coming to the show, Andrew?

Well, we'll see after this. If Skid doesn't like this crit, and he doesn't like about 60% of them. It's true. Then you're uninvited. And he's very vocal about it. Okay, here we go. I'll let you know. I like the title.

Crit the gym. You've been hitting the gym and drinking your problem and drinking your protein shakes. You are pumped. You're so pumped that when you hit your enemy, double damage and increase strength and con by two for 1d4 rounds. Whoa! Oh, wow! You get, like, invigorated by

the attack. Yeah, wow. And you basically enter a rage. That was a good pump, bro. You are pumped that you hit your enemy. Wow. And you're just like, yeah! Double damage and increase. You basically get that you hit your enemy. Wow. And you're just like, yeah! Wow. Double damage and increase. You basically get the effects of the rage spell without the AC problem. So you get a plus one to hit and damage?

Plus one to hit and damage and plus one hit point for every level. Yeah. On this roll, too, or is it just after this round? It's just after this round. Okay. So without that, that is 48 points of damage. Okay. All right, now your next attack.

That was your third attack, right? You have plus one to hit and damage. That was my first attack. Got it. And he's really going to need that extra 13 hit points. Yeah. That'll keep him alive. That is a 30 to hit on the second roll.

That's a hit, yeah. That is a 28 damage. Okay. And third and final attack. Terminus Est. That is a 26 to hit. Yeah, he's dead. Oh, yes!

He didn't even need to roll damage! Oh, my God. That was the lieutenant. Wow. Wow. Wow. Oh, my God. That was the lieutenant. Wow. Wow. My God. My God. Awesome.

Awesome, guys. Thun opens fire on Baron. He's here, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. We had to even this fight up somehow. Baron slumps over, bleeding to death, and goes, At two, Thun? Thun can't see what's going on over there, so he's just sticking to the plan, and he's going

to double move in the direction of, like, the wall between those two doors to the south, to try and, like, hug the wall and be there so that if anyone coming out of those doors he could see and yell to you, and they it would take them a second to see Thun, he would think.

And it is Metro's turn. There's only one living giant that you can save. So remind me, Thun didn't want us to collapse the ceiling. Why? He thinks there might be something beyond that door that it may be more than just the barracks. It may lead to the upper levels. And it seems like they were trying to protect this door by leaving the whole room lit. So he's basically saying it's foolhardy to just go in there and destroy that

without knowing what we might be blocking ourselves off to. So it would be foolhardy for me to collapse it to protect us from whatever's coming through the door. I mean, that's what Thun said. And you were old sense motive and believed that he was telling the truth. But it's just Thun's opinion. He's just one man. He's not Sheriff Thun. He's not Sheriff Thun. Whatever, I'm not hearing this in your head. Dalgrith agreed with that.

I'm just saying it doesn't make any logical sense to cut ourselves off from a path where we haven't done any intelligence on it. We don't really know what's behind it. Was the point to cut off the lower levels from following us up? Yes. The point is that we should cut off the barracks from the upper levels. And then collapse it. Then collapse it, yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. Well, in that case, I will take six points of damage, by the way, to your fire giant.

No. And then Dimetra will... I said no! She'll have to double move over to the lip of the pit. The lip of the pit. Okay. And it costs two squares of movement to move down there, unless you want to roll an acro. No, I'm fine.

I have to double move regardless. I'm just trying to hamper you in any possible way. No, I got it. I appreciate that. I have nothing. I have nothing to do. Are you doing okay? Okay, I'm fine. Okay, so you're standing at the lip of the pit, and it's still darkness, so he can't see you and make a ranged attack. And I drop the rock where I was standing before

I leave. Okay. So the darkness stays where it is. Oh, it stays right there. Okay, great. Cool. It is the... You didn't take any damage on that round, Troy. Fire giant. Oh, that's not true. Six points of hungry pit damage. He tries to climb out and fails. Fails to

climb out. Nice. So he's stuck down there. Awesome. It is now Dalgwith's turn oh also I'll call Foon I'll let you know kind of to let Foon know that the battle is almost done okay what do you say Foon the battle is almost done oh is it oh shit I fucking hate them what have you heard

very divisive feelings on Foon at this it? Oh. Shit, I fucking hate Thune. What have you heard? Very divisive feelings on Thune at this table. It is Dalgrith's turn. Dalgrith is going to move toward the double iron doors past Jimmer. As he goes past Jimmer, he just kind of looks him in the eye with sort of a panicky look and

obviously we're seeing in like black and white right now, but you see that like what must be blood like all over his face and on his neck from the giant's blood just spewing out on him. And as he comes by you with those eyes, he's like, don't know who am I alerted inside. Prepare for anything to come through here. And he's going to start climbing the wall next to the door just in order to get himself over the door. If something comes out of it. You're like a tick in tall grass.

You'll never see it coming, you draw him in and I'll get behind him. It seemed to work so far. I give you a wink. We've had good luck to date. Could he scramble up this wall? Yeah, there are handholds there. I'll say for you it it's an easy climb check.

So yeah, you can go up as far as you're allowed to go. He gets up five feet this round. Okay, yeah, so you just start scaling the wall. Baron. So Baron will continue to move intimidatingly over to this pit. The giant has not emerged, so he can't shoot. I'm so confused reading the run rules online, Joe. I can run.

Is that a full round action to run four times my speed? Yeah. Okay. But you can only get to the edge of that drop off. Yeah, so I'll just move 40 feet, I think. Hold on. Five. Well, that was wrong.

10, 15, 20. Just move to the edge. You're fine. Yeah, 30. Just move to the edge. You're fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to move to the edge of the drop-off and get ready for this guy to show up, and he's going to really aim, look down the sights of his pistol.

Jimmer. Jimmer's going to step back five feet onto the body of the captain and ready if any if a giant comes into his attack radius he's going to unleash a full attack on it oh no wait no one attack he can't ready one attack okay if anybody

comes through those doors you are ready but I want to give Dalgrith enough room to be behind him to pounce all right Thun sits tight makes his way to the direct center point between those two doors to the south. And it is Metra's turn. What's behind those doors, giant? Oh, yeah, Metra! So smart.

M-V. Pencil! Prometha, I thought you were just going to spell her name. M E T I'm not finished. R

A The giant is just like trying to climb up the wall and sliding down, trying to climb up the wall and sliding down, and just looks up at you and glares, doesn't say anything. You could die down there. Or you can tell us. This voice comes from nowhere, by the way.

Right. Just from this dark, dark, dark. Just pure darkness. Maybe there's like a This is God. Maybe there's just like a little shimmer in the

darkness. This is a horror movie for, again, this is a horror movie for them. Right. Like in the dark, boom, like darkness, sudden darkness, sudden darkness.

Two guys are dead within like 12 seconds. The other guy falls into a magical pit that is crushing him slowly. He is outside the safety of the cabin. World diplomacy. His friends are dead. Yeah. Can I roll intimidate? Yeah, if you want.

20. Ooh. So you see him. You can see him in black and white climbing up and down. He doesn't see you. He just hears this voice in the darkness. And then the pit contracts and deals some damage. How much damage? Does he get another reflex save on this?

Once you pass, you pass. I think it's probably constant saves until it gets out. Yeah, so roll a reflex save. Okay, it's going to fail anyways. Oh, 20. No, 21. Pass. Okay, so roll a reflex save. Okay, it's gonna fail anyways. Oh, 20. No, 21. Pass. Okay, so you take seven points of damage. Okay, awesome.

It was more than when I passed the save. Failed the save, rather. Seven points of damage. Alright, so he just, you said 20 on the intimidate? Yeah. He stops. Who? In giant. What dogs?

What dogs? And Metro The ones back there So not the ones to the south The ones that we That Dogwraith and Jimmer are on top of right now Barracks Reinforcements

Metro immediately relays this information To Jimmer and Doggreef Sense motive? Yeah we should probably sense motive Natural one Seems to be telling the truth He seems to be telling the truth Okay that will be Metro's turn Because his intimidate check takes takes time, doesn't it?

That's an action Alright, it's his turn He doesn't do anything He just yells up to you Let me out of here I gave you the information you want Let me out I could have killed you instantly

I didn't do that Release me from this pit End this darkness. Metro does nothing. Okay. Dalgrith, still holding? Dalgrith is going to climb up another 10 feet. Okay.

And get 15 feet over the door. Baron, you're going to come up and take a shot? Clang. Clang. Clang. You hear the hammer click back. But you hear not just one hammer. You hear both hammers click back because he's firing both pistols at a minus 40 shot.

Oh, man. Dirty pool. Here it comes. He's the law. 11 on the first die. That's a hit. Yeah, sure is. He's very subdued right now.

It's like he's scared of something. 29 points of damage on the first attack. Okay. Second attack. 18 on the die. Nearly a critical threat. But also a hit. Here it comes.

Gosh. A die went out of the box. Right. They often do. They often do. 28 points of damage. 28 do. 28 points of damage. 28 points. 28 points of damage.

Just lit him up. You stay down there, boy. You never come out. Jimmer. Jimmer is going to hold. Jimmer holds. Thune holds. Metra.

I mean, I guess we're killing him, huh? What else? I mean, he's low level. Yeah, kill him. Kill him. Metra will draw a wand and roll reflexive. Oh, God. No.

Nine. Okay, that was a lightning bolt. Oh, yeah. Oh, my goodness. But it's just a wand. It's just a wand of lightning bolt. It'll light up the pit at least. Yeah, he'll see.

Like, yeah, it's a lightning strikes. In that moment. So it's just 14 points of damage. I rolled not well. Okay. But as the lightning strikes down, you see the outline of a shadow creature and a dwarf with a fucking robot. Oh, and a limp in the thing! That's good. Yeah, that really is a horror

movie. It is! Exactly what it is! It's a horror movie. It is. Exactly what it is. It's a horror movie. It's like The Undertaker showing up in the middle of the ring. And the pit contracts and does another 17 points of damage to you. 17 points of damage? Another reflex save? Oh, you should have also had a reflex save for that. I failed.

17 points of damage. 17 on the reflex save. That was great. Pathetic fallacy. He takes a rock and just seeing you lit up by the electricity just hurls it up there

at a 50% mischance, right? At, let's see. This would be at Baron. Like I'm going to hit. Like I have any chance of hitting eight metros or a guy that gets a nine. Oh yeah, I'm sorry. In the lightning, it wasn't just hitting eight Metras or a guy that gets a nine.

I'm sorry, in the lightning, it wasn't just one shadow. Yeah, yeah. A whole family. A team of witches. Nine pairs of pupil-less eyes. Just flies past Baron's head, hits the ceiling and steam wears off of it. Nice. It goes back another round to Dalgrith.

Dalgrith climbs a little more No well How close am I to the ceiling? I'm at 15 feet up You're at the ceiling Can I examine a little closer now? Sure Maybe a perception check or is it just knowledge engineering?

You're trying to Determine how to collapse the ceiling Okay Roll a knowledge engineering I don't have it What are you trying? You're trying to look at the... Determine how to collapse the ceiling. Okay. Yeah, roll a knowledge engineering. I don't have it, so... Okay. I can disintegrate this thing. Could I do a perception or just...

Yeah, you roll a perception. Oh, to hear anything on the other side. Whatever. I rolled a 19, so... Were you using Tiago's die? Well, what I can say... Why were you using Tiago's die? Sorry, Tiago. I rolled a 19. Were you using Tiago's die? No. Why were you using Tiago's die? Sorry, Tiago.

I forgot. What you can see is that the crack in the ceiling here looks like it leads straight past the door into whatever's beyond. Oh, wow. You could actually crawl along this crack into the room. Well, it's more in the sense that if you do collapse the ceiling. It's going to collapse on both sides. It's going to collapse on both sides, so then you wouldn't be able to get to the other side. Oh, right, which is...

That's what Thune was trying to warn us about. Well, I don't know. I feel like Thune... Look, I don't know that Thune is betraying us when he says, like, keep your options open and examine what's behind that door first. Because if it really is the barracks, then it could seem like he was with the giants on this and trying to throw us off but he led us through

he could have taken us many different ways and he led us right here but to me it makes more sense that they were guarding the barracks the barracks we collapse the barracks and then the northwest passage with no door is the route up to the next level that's what I think too there's multiple ways to get up there. I say we

just collapse the goddamn thing but for now I'm going to hold on the wall. The other thing you do is open the door. Well actually I did a perception check so I can't delay it. You can just open the door. It's darkness. They can't see you. We can see what's on the ceiling. He's up on the ceiling. I climbed up and I don't want to open the door because I don't want to. I want them to have to take an action

to do it so we can see them. They haven't come out yet though. It's can see them. They haven't come out yet, though. It's been three rounds. They haven't come out. It's quite possible they're not going to. But for now, I'm just going to stay up there. All right. And Baron, would you like to tie a bow on this one?

I have a feeling I know what's happening. Let's see what happens. Yeah. I think I do, too. Just don't misfire. 28 to hit. This is not doing okay. Like it's nothing. That's only 22 points of damage. Just don't misfire. 28 to hit. This is not doing okay. Like it's nothing.

That's only 22 points of damage. Well, he's dead. Yeah! I get a grip point back. Woo! Oh, I forgot about that rule. Every kill. Yeah, he is dead, dead, dead.

And for the moment, you are out of combat. All right. What's your theory, Joe? do you want the darkness to remain yeah okay yeah let's open the door but let's hear your theory first um my theory was just that he was going that troy was just waiting for this uh giant to die and then he was going to have the door open and that was going to be the cliffhanger. So I think he was just waiting for this giant to die to have something come out of that door that's horrifying. But that's, you know, it's a metagame theory, so. Hey!

Hey! See that? Shut up. Baron, go ahead and roll stone cunning now that you're out of combat, and you can check out that area there. Oh, that's going to be a nasty stone cunning, dork. Dork.

We are talking about a 38 to start with plus stone cunning, bringing it all the way up to 40. All right. Yeah. So you have a very good handle on this whole situation here. You see that this weak spot in the ceiling is at risk of giving away. You see what Dalgrith saw, that the crack is leading straight beyond, like the ceiling is going past the door into whatever is on the other side, the ceiling on the other side of the door, as it were.

And you can see that if you were to collapse it, there's a good chance, 99% chance, that you would not be able to pass through to see what's on the other side, which may or may not matter, depending on what you want to do. Can I do a dengineering check to see if there are other ways to get up to the next level?

I'm still distrustful of what... I don't know, that might be too crazy. It's hard to know. You just don't have enough sense of direction to even know what's up there without a map. Or how to get there. What would it take to collapse the roof?

So, rolling over that stone counting, you could... There's, like, beams supporting it, so you could use direct physical force on the beams. You could use, like, a spell to try to shape the rock or the beams. What about disintegrating a 10-cubic-foot area of matter?

That would probably work as well. Yeah, any sort of blast spells or disintegrating spells. A fireball. It wouldn't take very long to be able to collapse it. Dog Wraith will drop down off the wall. Land by this door. Metro will leave the pit and head back up. Yeah, looking up at the ceiling, looking at Jimmer, looking at the door.

Do we need to see what's behind this door before we break this ceiling down? I can be ready to blow the ceiling. If we can get a good look at what's beyond, I can always teleport us there at a later date. I think we open that door, we see what's on the other side, and we blow it. Those barracks are there,

and we cut off the bottom anyway. What's to keep two bad things from coming back at us? Do you have another vanish? Yeah. Alright, so could you just stand next to me? Or just behind me when I open the door? You have another invisibility too, don't you? No, I use...

Because you saved, that was the one mirror image. Let's see what I got. I got another invisibility. You want me to vanish you? Not yet. If we open the door and something's coming right at us, then maybe in that round you could vanish me if it came up. Sense motor. open the door and something's coming right at us then you know maybe in that round you could vanish me if it came up sense motor um jimmer could you come up here too just in case yeah

can i take a look at this should i come as well yes all right coming you can't see anything oh he's dark vision i have dark vision oh you do i see quite well, Sheriff Thune. God damn it. Could I, uh... Hello, gentlemen. Do I stand? Ladies. Why does his pawn have bloody red hands? It is I, Thune. Thune, red blood hands.

Rip apart somebody's throat or something? Oh, God! That was huge! Oh, God. And Troy, once again, doesn't know where the fog of war is on the map. We didn't see anything but one hand. We just saw the one hand. He just has no idea.

It just throws out an amusement. Can you see that? Oh! Perfect. Huge. It's such a huge map. What's that thing you hit? It's like Control-I or Command-I on Apple or something.

What does it do? It just blows up that image in the center of the screen for a moment. Oh, it does? Yeah. I don't dare do anything on Roll20. I'm afraid my computer will start smoking. Hello, I'm here.

What is the plan? We're going to open this door and see what's behind it. You think it's barracks. Metro thinks it's not. I'm taking bits. Metro believes it's barracks. My information tells me that there are barracks beyond there, but there might be more. The whispers

that I've heard say that it may lead to the upper levels. That is why I think it wise to check it out before we cut off any means of getting up there. I don't understand why you told us to collapse it to keep the barracks separated from the upper level. If we collapse this, then the barracks are on the same side as the upper level. If we collapse this, then the barracks are on the same side as the upper level. It is possible that we could collapse the entire ceiling and block off the barracks from both the lower and upper level.

That was the fear that I heard these giants discuss when talking about the ceiling. As you can see, the crack leads through the ceiling into the next room. Who knows how far that crack goes. I think he's saying that, yeah, we could collapse this. We could flatten the whole barracks, like just take it out of the equation, basically.

I think that's what you're saying, yeah? But maybe we need to get to the other side of the barracks first. Well, take a look, because if we can rest, I mean, she can come back and we can just, like Metra said, we can just teleport right to the opposite side blow up blow up the the structure and collapse the whole thing we'll be on the opposite side of it we can just go on i'll tell you one thing on one level it makes sense that people as clumsy as these giants could make their barracks the core of their fighting force in the middle of a fault line of a mountain. But on another level, it doesn't pass the smell test.

This could be a recent thing, too. This could be a recent thing. I mean, this is a volcano. I mean, there could be seismic activity. All right. This doesn't have to be something. This doesn't have to be an inherent flaw in the structure. Are you a giant, Jimmer?

I am a giant, and I choose now to reveal myself. Womp, womp, womp, womp. Swamp, swamp, swamp, swamp. You've been drinking too much from that horn. Okay, let's open the door. All right. I can have a fireball

at the ready, so if a bunch of giants are going to attack us, then we just blow it up. Back up, blow it up. Blow the ceiling. All right. And still get a good look

at what's on the opposite end of the room. Really effective spell against fire giants. Dalgrith is going to attempt to... No, I'm not going to fire against the fire giants. Against the ceiling.

Ah. Dahlgrath is going to attempt to open the door. Stealthily. He fails. If it's possible. Roll a stealth check. With the size of it. What was that, Tiago's die?

No. What does Tiago's die give you? Just let me know. 28. It's locked. Oh, great. Can I attempt to disable it sure i will take 20 to do so quietly okay closely what does that give you as a total 32 not enough wow that takes how long 35 are there keys we haven't expected the body so like two

minutes two minutes to take away um so yeah 32 you can't you can't open it take time yes they know what they're doing here yeah let's look at the bodies yeah we're gonna search around for keys that's right okay so you you search the bodies looking for medium-sized armor and keys yes one of the guys just happens to have a medium sized plus five breastplate in his back pocket. Nice. Yeah, no, they have the the same

stuff as before, like the lieutenant has one of those rings. Again, very same ring that Dalgrith is wearing. The one that makes you feel warm. And they have, you know, the great swords and whatnot. Nothing else different

from the ones you fought in the first room. However, the lieutenant has a set of keys on him. Excellent. So as Dalgrith is doing this, I imagine it gets like really boring. And everybody else is literally like,

yeah, Barad just brings up the key. Yeah. Almost got it, man. I. I almost got it, man. I think I almost got it. Just one more. Oh, god damn, son of a bitch. Son of a... Another pin falls out.

So Dalgrith picking a lock is like Joe doing Instagram? Yes. Nailed it. Do you want to turn it, Dalgrith? Here, take it. He hands you this oversized key. I didn't need this, but... Sorry. Get us in there faster. And he hands you this oversized key. I didn't need this, but... Sorry.

Get us in there faster. And he'll try the first key. Tries the first key. It's just one key. It's a ring of oversized keys. It's a ring of keys. It's a ring of keys. That should be a mythical item in this game.

Stick it in the hole. Turn it. Clink. And the door opens. And we'll see you next time. Oh, I want to see what's beyond, dude! Certain death! What a lovely room of death. The Glass Cannon Podcast is a Glass Cannon Network production

and is an officially licensed partner of Paizo Incorporated. Giant Slayer is copyright 2015. Giant Slayer and the Pathfinder Adventure Path are trademarks of Paiso. All Pathfinder images are property of Paiso and are used with permission.