The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 219 - Patrol Alt Delete

Episode Date: August 6, 2019

A hasty decision leaves the party with their backs up against the wall. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at��http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Super All-Wheel Control from Mitsubishi. It's the real definition of control. Visit Mitsubishi-Motors.ca to learn more. This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast. I'm going to have a nightmare about that tonight. With nothing but carnage before them.

As the five of you stand in front of this room that once had slaves, orc slaves in it, and is now just covered, ceiling to floor, in blood. The heroes realize their grievous error. You came in here and then heard a low growl of creatures surrounding you.

You didn't mention that. Oh, did I not mention that? You mentioned a low growl, but not of creatures, plural,ing you. You didn't mention that. Oh. Did I not mention that? You growl, but not of creatures, plural, surrounding you. Well, spoiler alert. And must battle their way to freedom. This is bad. Oh, shit. You turn to the south.

Oh, no. In a weakened state. Now, did you guys heal? No. No. Okay. Was that a choice? The adventure continues.

Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. No, no. Okay. Was that a choice? The adventure continues. Oh god, oh god, oh god. Oh, oh god, no! No. Hello, hello, hello, and welcome back to another episode of the Glass Cannon Podcast. What's up, guys? It's your good buddy Joe O'Brien here. I am just literally getting off my flight from Indianapolis. I just walked in the door from Gen Con, just split up with my buddies. We had spent a lot of time together this weekend and had a lot of fun, probably too much fun. And I need a little sleep. I don't know if you can hear it in my voice. Man, we got after it this weekend. Hanging out with the Nesh. Doing a couple live shows at the Hi-Fi.

Man, they were a good time. Those shows. I cannot wait for you guys to see those shows on YouTube. Hopefully they are posted soon. We're going to work on getting those out as soon as possible. When they are ready, we will let you guys know. They're going to stand out. So I encourage you to watch them.

The shows were really fun. We also released some new merch at the shows, including our first ever GCP official dice sets and D20s. They were flying off the shelves. It was so exciting to see how excited people were about them. They're already getting their little stigmas. The green ones were all rocks. Everybody wants the blue ones. It was a really, really fun experience for us to be involved in all of that as the niche got their hands on the first ever GCP dice.

They are going to be up on the website for sale as well pretty soon. Not quite yet, but that should be within a week or two. They should be up. So keep an eye out for that. We'll definitely make some social media posts. To give you forewarning. Before they go live on the merch store. Speaking of the merch store.

There are some things up there now. That you can check out that are brand new. We got some GCP stickers up there. We also got our first ever proper 2019 rock and roll tour t-shirt. So hop on the website, check out that tee, see if it grabs you. Also on the website, we are selling our official Glass of Sirenscape to put some official GCP stuff out there for you guys to use as audio to immerse and boost your games and to make it feel a little bit more like our game. It has all the GCP drops that we use in this podcast, as well as some fun, new, fresh material from classic NPCs like Tom Exposition and, oh, you know it, the one and only Razmataz. So check it out on our website.

And if it sounds like something you'd be into, pick it up. Check it out. I have got to get going because it is already time to start working on Dragon Con. We're leaving in a matter of, what, three weeks for that? Our next live show is in Atlanta during Dragon Con. And after the cliffhanger in Indy, I cannot wait to get to that show. And you know what? There are still tickets left to that show.

The numbers are in the single digits now. There's less than 10 tickets left, literally. But they are left. Now there's less than 10 tickets left, literally, but they are left. So if you are in or around the Atlanta area and want to check out the show, please just buy a ticket. There's only a few left. Get them now. Get them while you can and come down there and see us. We would love to see you. That is all. That's all I got, guys. I got to get out of here. Thank you, as always, for tuning into the Glass Cannon Podcast, and please enjoy episode 219. I don't know if this was on BuzzFeed or where it came from, but someone asked me the other day, and a group of people, imagine if your teeth were always flaccid and only got hard right when you're ready to eat. Just imagine what that would feel like, to have flaccid teeth flopping around in your mouth all day long. Like a mouthful of gummy bears. Just a mouthful.

And then you got to eat. And they get hard. Or like when you see Good food No I know You have to be ready To eat it You can't just

It'd be hard to diet I think I'd just want to Eat all day long To have hard teeth Such a weird feeling That's a That freaks me That's like a

That's like I think that's a frequent Nightmare that people have Is stuff with their teeth Oh I have that Where the teeth Are falling out You grind them

To a Yeah Especially like people Who do that Doesn't that mean something It's not like a teeth oh i have that where the teeth are falling out do you grind them to a yeah like yeah especially like people who who do that doesn't that mean something it's not like a yes it means something very specific yeah well i can't remember what it is uh sexual frustration but everything freud said was sexual frustration i think i think maybe he was sexually frustrated but the thing is uh the my cousin my cousin katherine uh she one of her friends was in Africa doing missionary work. And he got malaria while he was over there.

And he came back. And he felt better. Like he was fine. And he was riding the subway in Manhattan. And all of a sudden, all of his teeth started to crack. And they crumbled to dust in his mouth. Oh, come on. Which is one of the possible after effects of getting malaria.

That's one of the things. Come on. Like in an instant? Yeah, like all of a sudden. It sounds like a mummy's curse. Yeah, it totally does. It all just started like crumbling in his mouth and he had no teeth. And your teeth shall crumble to dust in your mouth While you're on the subway

Wow, that's horrible It's still the most horrific thing I'm going to have a nightmare about that tonight What if you have a nightmare About having a nightmare about having your teeth fall out What does that say about you? That's the worst, the most nightmarish thing It means, yeah, you're terrified of having self-esteem

Or low self-esteem or low self-esteem. The thing said, if your teeth are falling out, it's a sign of low self-esteem. Oh, self-esteem? Low self-esteem. Well, one thing I just realized. One of the many things. It's a sign of psychological distress. Oh, yeah. Oh, no shit.

No shit, Freud. Oh, God. Just talking about it, I feel like it's going to enter my collective subconscious and pop up in a dream. I know. I had a horrible dream the other night and you were in it, Joe, with my wife. And basically you were coming over to hang out and we were all going to crash and I didn't want you in my bed because I figured you were dirty, but I didn't want you sharing.

That's the only reason. I didn't want you sharing the air mattress with my wife. So I was like, all right, you can have the bed. Let me go out and... Because Joe O'rien's such a hot temptation to your wife she couldn't resist herself around joe between just those wandering hands between the options smart move lavalier his dirty cheese whiz body in my bed and laying with my wife i said i'll go get the air mattress. Real Sophie's Choice. I walked outside, and I don't know where we were. It's like a cabin or something,

and there was a shed, and I saw one of those paddle boats, and the paddle boats started slowly... Foot paddle. Foot paddle boats. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Started slowly moving towards the shed, and I was like, oh, I think that's a ghost,

because it's not on an incline at all, but maybe I'm just seeing something. And then it got tugged forward really fast, and then it started moving really fast, and my wife came out, and then it hit slow motion. All of a sudden, she was like, look, like terrified. It's a ghost, and I could feel it happening around me, and I was like frozen.

That failed your will save? Yeah, I failed my will save. You know that frozen moment in the dream where you're like, fuck, and I woke up. was 4 30 in the morning on the dot and i was terrified for an hour it was such a vivid vivid ghostly experience that i was like all right i know i just had a dream but i cannot shake that feeling yeah and what drove you outside to this horrible experience was just having me as a guest. Having you as a guest. What drove you to outside?

Equally terrifying as the ghost. Question. And I know like dream logic and everything, but like, was the option of Joe sleeping in the air mattress and you and your wife sleeping in the bed just not an option? It was a twin bed.

It would be a little too tight. But it was a queen air mattress. But you did consider having Joe share the twin bed with sam no no no i was gonna have the twin bed that was what the situation was my wife was on the air mattress uh but then joe came over and that is so specifically you it's unbelievable one more one more possible permutation your wife couldn't have had the bed that's what we're saying joe couldn't have shared a random air mattress

No, no, no we don't do that anymore Because of the incident Anyways, think about floppy teeth I want you to think about that It's really unsettling Unsettling, yes, that's the word Grant, you have a thought? Yeah, no, the last thing is

You were talking about having a dream Joe, a co-worker at my day job Came up to me and said Grant, I had a dream about you And I thought, Yeah, no, the last thing is you were talking about having a dream of Joe. A co-worker at my day job came up to me and said, Grant, I had a dream about you and I thought, oh, great. That sounds nice. And they're like, we both died in it.

I don't remember the particulars, but it was just like, at least you didn't kill Joe in your dream, you know? At least everyone was still alive and you just woke up with a paddle boat coming at you at full speed.

It was terrifying. Were the paddles moving? No, it was just being like yanked forward by an unseen force. And then my wife saw something that I didn't, but I could feel the presence. Dude, those things have ropes that anchor them to the dock. It obviously got caught on a bear's ankle. It was just dragging it along.

It was not a ghost. You're about to get mauled by a bear is what the only logical explanation is. I don't know, man. You ever have the night terror thing where you're, what's it called? Sleep paralysis. Sleep paralysis. We've talked about it on the podcast.

Most terrifying terror in the world. I haven't had it yet this year, and I know it's coming. I get like one a year, and it's the worst. It's terrible. Have you seen The Haunting of Hill House, the new one? No, I hear it's very, very good. It's great, and there's a whole thing about sleep paralysis. I don't like horrors

I don't like horror movies Or shows It's definitely scary But it is amazing Yeah yeah I heard that And the sleep paralysis thing Is

Sleep paralysis thing Is I mean like I don't want I don't want to give you Anything away But it's like It's genius

How they How like The turn it takes I guess I'll check it out I just hate the feeling I don't like that Why did you I don't need that

Yeah I don't need it I don't like that. Why did you? I don't need that. Yeah. I don't need it. It's not the odd. Oh, no. The terror and haunting of the house is more like, oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God.

No. No. Okay. I don't want that either. That sounds worse. Yeah. It's not even worse. I mean, I guess there's a couple of times where you jump.

No, it's more like psychological. I don't mind psychological also ghosts Also ghosts We're about to see some ghosts in the form of some of your Player characters I think Oh boy Things got A little down and dirty here

Now did you guys heal No Okay I was thinking about this on the walk over to the studio Today was that a choice not to yes yeah okay i think we did some light healing but not we didn't rest well we didn't rest we didn't rest we didn't rest okay you don't have a lot of healing options available to us we had a couple wands that the uh sheriff sheriff thun i believe is my new name right he will dole out as necessary that That's the thing.

That's a limited resource. Is anybody not at full hit points? I am not. Are you really low? I'm not super low. Okay. I'm at like 78% right now. Okay.

Wow. That's very specific. Thune is full. Quick math. Oh, good. And you outfitted Thune between last week and this week. Can you tell me what he has? He has a plus one greatsword.

Awesome. Because you give every rogue a greatsword. Yes. That's their natural weapon. The chicken in every pot, every rogue a greatsword. So that's going to give him... He'll be dragging that on the ground behind him. That's pretty good.

Minus 20 to his stealth check. Plus one greatsword. Obviously, that crits 19 to 20 times two. He's going to do 2d6 plus eight damage. Oh, that's great. Plus sneak attack damage if he can get it. That's pretty good. And what about armor?

Did you give him some nice, sweet, magical armor? Nah, just a chain shirt. No, we sold. We realized that before we came into this mountain, we sold everything. We sold everything yeah we sold everything to get our current gear you know we do have magical half plate but putting a rogue in half plate seemed a little silly no he won't be uh proficient in it yeah yeah it'll it'll suck for him all right well hey it bumps his ac up to uh irrelevant up to irrelevant. Up to 23. With the changed shirt.

He's dead. He's a dead man. I'm guessing these giants are plus 19 on the first hit or more. I think plus 17. Yeah. Is that what you think? Just a feel, Joe. Is that what you think, stupid?

All right. Well, I like it. Hopefully that 20% arcane spell failure chance won't be his downfall. Troy, if I get a high enough knowledge roll, will you tell me how much plus these giants are? And just to prove that I'm right and Joe's the native? Because he's stupid. That is tempting. Oh, he's so dumb.

Damn it, we almost got him. What I will do instead is ask you to get in the zone for a second. And imagine you see long, thin birch trees spaced anywhere from five to seven feet apart filling a densely forested area. In the distance,

mountains rise up. Huge mountains look like fallen giants that have crusted over Just blotting out the sky We come in on one of these trees Just as a bird lands on the bow Tilts its head and looks around the area

Just then a rock comes flying in out of nowhere And nips the bird in the wing As it takes off a split second Before it connected with its head Down and nips the bird in the wing as it takes off a split second before it connected with its head. Down and over to the right, we see a young dwarf boy cursed to himself like he can't believe he missed. You can see the look in his eye like he thought he had a clean shot. He starts to search in his rock pouch for another when in the distance a woman's voice is faintly heard calling out in dwarven somewhere far away. Baron! Dinner's ready! Don't dawdle out there! A very young Baron Redheart turns to his mother's voice and starts to head back when he notices something out of the corner of his eye, a

patch of dirt that looks out of place, disturbed. He walks over to inspect it and notices that everywhere surrounding this off-color patch of soil looks normal, but something about this patch looks off, like maybe someone dug here recently. Young Baron looks around, then starts to dig at the dirt using his rock pouch as a makeshift shovel. After a minute or so, he hits something hard, reaches down, brushes away the dirt to see some sort of large stone, almost looks like a bowl, maybe a basket. It's far too large to fully dig up, and he can tell that it's very heavy, but as he's

brushing away the soil, he sees a strange symbol etched on a part of the stone. Baron! His mother cries out again, this time not as sweetly. Don't have me send your father out to get you! Baron snaps up and starts to quickly rebury whatever this is that he found, frantically kicking up dirt all around him before running off in the direction of the voice. Days pass, and we're back in that same forest. Young Baron skulks through the trees with rock in hand,

pauses, sees something in the distance, and then hurls a rock at it. By his face, it's clear that he missed, but he runs off in the direction of where he threw, quickly reaching into his pouch for another rock to throw

when his face changes. He stops and looks down at his pouch, and instead of a rock, pulls out out a small black and orange figurine of an armored giant with a heavy chain in its hand. He stares deeply at it, wondering where it came from. where it came from, when a nearby animal, perhaps a bird, because it sounds like it's coming above him,

lets out a very human-like sound. We zoom out to see Baron alone amidst the birch trees, clutching his new toy and looking for the source of the voice. That screen then becomes red as the five of you stand in front

of this room that once had slaves, orc slaves in it. Former slaves. Former slaves. Former slaves. And is now just covered, ceiling to floor, in blood. I blotted out the map behind you because, as I said, you came in here, waited a second, went to the left,

checked out these rooms, saw the bloodstain, and then heard a low growl of creatures surrounding you. You didn't mention that. Oh, did I not mention that? You mentioned a low growl, but not of creatures, plural, surrounding you. Well, spoiler alert. Our backs are against the wall, so the surrounding will be pretty interesting. Did I not mention that part? You mentioned a low growl, but not of creatures Surrounding you Well, spoiler alert Our backs are against the wall, so the surrounding will be pretty interesting

Shagoon Oh, shagoon you say Shagoon This is bad You turn to the sound And see, a little bit farther away Two fire giants. This is very bad.

Oh, my God. But in front of the fire giants, you see six half a dozen dog-like looking creatures, thin, lanky, wolf-like creatures with reddish-brown fur, white claws, and burning, fiery red eyes. fur, white claws and burning fiery red eyes. Oh no. Oh god. Roll for initiative. Oh no. Dude, this is

fucked up. This is fucked up. Oh dear. Oh boy. Whoa. Really? We've been seriously punished.

Grant, you look upset. I blame Metra. I blame Metra. Why would you blame Metra? Oh, I've got my reasons. I'll see you in court. The good news is Thune rolled a 25 initiative. Oh, there he goes.

Good job, Thune. What about Dalgrith Deathbringer? 21 initiative. 21 initiative. Metra. 12. 12. Oh, there he goes. Good job, dude. What about Dalgrith Deathbringer? 21 initiative. 21 initiative. Metro. 12. 12. Oh, no.

Gerber. That'd be 13. 13. That'd be 13. And now, no longer young, but old, Baron. Old and angry. What'd you get? Rolled a two on the die for a 17.

Oh, man. 24 total. 17 with a two on the die for a 17. Oh, man. 24 total. 17 with a two on the die. Okay. Very, very interesting. You see these creatures. There are eight enemies that you can see right now. They're a little bit farther away from you.

By the time you heard them, I think the nearest one of these hounds, these wolf-like creatures, I think the nearest one of these hounds, these wolf-like creatures, is over 60 feet away from you. Oh, man. And then the giants are at least 125 or so, the other one even further away. But there's a lot of them, and they're coming for you. I don't understand.

Oh, this is certain death. This is very, very bad. It's round one. Very, very bad. It's round one, and it is Thun's turn. I'm so glad we outfitted him with our finest equipment. Thun Hedercons! Yeah, he will get that sneak attack damage.

However, he can't move 65 feet and still attack. What's he even doing here, then? Now, don't forget that lip. You guys are up on a slightly higher area there, so it costs two squares of movement if you want to move down it. You can't run off it. You can shoo using that as difficult terrain if you

roll a DC 12. Acro check. But let's talk Thune here. Thune looks to Sheriff Thune. What should I do? What would you have me do, Sheriff? Lead the charge, Thune. I want to see what you can do in battle.

Grant just wants Thune dead. He just wants someone to stop the giants from coming to Baron. All right. What do you want? No, what are you thinking do you want him to clean up the blood in a moment can by the way this is i think we would talk about this does metra have a teleport left are you out of spells i don't have a teleport left i'm not out of spells but then fuck all of you thunes going in a battle how about that well

the order's been given it's already done yeah. Yeah. Alright, Thun is going to double move. He's going to treat the space. Actually, he's got... Well, I should say that Baron would want him to try to do sneak attacks if he could, not just a blindly charged in a battle. That would be, like, implicit

and based off of what he told us. Sure. It's fine if you want to... Which is the opposite, yeah. No, Thun is not going to try an acro down there. He's going to use that lip as double space, and he gets up within 10 feet of one of these hands, 20 feet away from another one, holding the greatsword in two hands. I mean, is he a robotic moron idiot?

Like, he would never follow that order. Or maybe he would. Maybe he's that loyal that fast. He's getting up in the business there. Again, I thought that Thune would, you know, maybe put on top of the orders his own strategic style. He's 65

feet away. I did not think that he was going to go 65 feet away, but okay. You said lead the charge. Those are your exact words. By the way, he could still Lead the charge Be 40 feet away from us And ahead of us

And not be in this Situation he's in currently Anyway It's true Well it is Dalgrith's turn I assume you just Rush directly after Thun Well I mean

He feels kind of bad For this dead friend That's leading us Through this place Thun no It's too far away He Yeah there's...

Oh, boy. This is do or die, Deathbringer. Not much he can do here. I'm going to delay. No, I'm not, because I want to get some IDs. So he is going to... He's going to move up 20 feet. And then he will try to do an ID on the creatures.

Okay, let's call it a knowledge planes. I have that. Okay. Not great. 19. Okay.

They are hellhounds. I knew it. Hellhounds. They are medium creatures, as you can see, unlike the giants. I'll give you one piece of useful information. I'll give you one piece of useful. What do you want to know? Anything specific?

Movement speed? No. What terrible thing can they do to us? Yeah, how about an offensive thing? They have breath weapons. Yeah. Balls. All right.

Yeah, so he'll be like, I don't know if you've seen these before. The hell arms I fought them before myself. If you've got breath weapons, stay clear of a corner if you can. Don't punch up. Hey, I think that's pretty good. That's pretty good. That was good.

It was better than Baron's orders. And he's going to ready an action. Slightly better than Baron's orders. He's going to ready an action. Slightly better than Baron's orders. He's going to ready an action. If one of them does a breath weapon at him, he's going to prepare his reflex save, which gives him a plus four to the reflex save. Okay. Incidentally, I think you meant

to move Dog Wreath, not Metro, right? I did. By the way, I'm lying. That is not a rule on Pathfinder at all. No, I'm going to ready an action. If one comes in melee range, I'll swing at it. But it's the best I can do right now. Actually, you know what? I'll stick to the wall.

Let's move on. Move up 22. To Baron. Okay, Baron, the closest hellhound to Baron is 60 feet away. So Baron's going to go ahead and move up 20 feet in order to take a shot at this hellhound. And you know what? Baron's gonna go ahead and do it. Do it! Baron's gonna pull both triggers. Do it! Minus four to both.

Let me just turn off rapid shot. They're gonna have a higher probably touch AC than we're used to. That just occurred to me, yeah. Let me just make sure that my rolls are... Rapid shot is off. Here we go. 26 against Touch AC. That is a hit.

Yeah. Yeah, it is. And I'll do this after my action because I didn't do it beforehand. That would be 22 points damage on the first attack. Holy crap. Great. Okay. Second attack.

Natural 19. We're talking critical threat. Oh, my God. Holy crap. Great. Okay. Second attack. Natural 19. We're talking critical threat! Oh my god! Improved critical! Oh my goodness. Roll to confirm. Holy shit. 12 on the die for a... I think it's a 22.

That is a confirmed crit. Yeah! Alright. Here we go. Oh man. It's good though because there's only 17 of them left. Yeah! Alright. Here we go. Oh, man. It's good, though, because there's only 17 of them left. That's right. Well, one less. Is he dead? I don't know. We don't know that. Let's see the damage.

So we just have to pull a crit. Alright. Okay. Let's see what happens on the show. Before my turns end, I want to do a knowledge check on the hellhounds. Do I know what type they are? Because I would have called down a Bane. I won't do it knowledge check on the hellhounds Do I know what type they are Because I would call down a Bane I won't do it for these attacks

What type in what sense Do I know what I can pull down Bane as a swift action Against these creatures I need to do that Okay Christian from Fredericksburg Fredericksburg? Where's Fredericksburg?

Virginia? Virginia? Maryland? Virginia? It's a famous battle Fredericksburg, Hawaii From Fredericksburg, Hawaii Suburb of Honolulu Always look on the bright side Of life That's nice

Your projectile glazes your enemy in a rare spot and suddenly a strange calm emanates from him. Glazes it? It glazes him and covers him in a nice short coating. Not pudding! We are getting a duck and donut soon. Wow. This is rather sweet. It's normal damage and the target

gains a friendly attitude towards all nearby characters and creatures for 1d4 rounds or until attacked. So normal damage with a d4 is still normal damage? Times four with a d4. It's times three. Times three. Okay, here we go.

Oh, because it's not a giant either, so you don't get that. It's still 72 points. Oh, my God! Let me just make sure I get that right. So that's... Is that Baron or Michael Vickham? Oh, boy. Wow.

He was saving that joke up all week. Nope, just thought of that now. It's 48 just based off of the bonus damage plus 12 plus 3 is plus 15. 63, I'm sorry. I over-calculated. It explodes. Yeah. Bear, bear. F bear fiery chunks of flesh

in its last milliseconds of life though it looked very friendly it's like oh Baron I think you guys aren't so black

no such thing as an evil dog just an evil man Baron thinks back to the moment he almost killed a bird and how that bird sang a beautiful song to him to sleep every night for the rest

of his life and how he should never harm an animal why does Baron hate birds? I don't know, man. Very anti-bird. Practice that crack shot. I have a question about these hounds. Okay. Because

if it's true that all dogs go to heaven, how can there be hellhounds? Well, find out next week. Really? You're going to have an answer next week? Yeah, give me a week to think about it. Find out next week on our Don Bluth podcast Go through all the Animated works of Don Bluth

Including Dragon's Lair and Space Ace Grant you wanted to roll a knowledge check Yeah I'd love to be able to Identify these things so I can put my bane On them of course Dalgrith has already yelled out They're hellhounds but you're a stickler so let's see What knowledge would Iane on them. Of course, Dalgrith has already yelled out their hellhounds, but you're a stickler, so let's see. What knowledge would I do on them?

Knowledge planes. The same knowledge that Dalgrith rolled, for example. I mean, you know what they are. Right, so... You know they're hellhounds. But I don't know what type they are to put bane on them. That's what I'm asking. Dalgrith would know. Yeah, okay, that's fine.

They're outsiders. They're outsiders! They're from the very plane of hell. All right. From level three. So as a swift action, Baron will eschew his ability to use Bane against them this round, but next round we'll be applying Bane damage to outsiders. All right.

Fair enough. Just remember, if you hit a fire giant, they are not outsiders. My gun is already automatically paying a good price. Let's talk about the hellhounds, because it's their turn. Oh, poor Thune. Poor Thune. Thune Sony! Oh, Thune.

Has he outlived his usefulness to us? That's the question. Yep. He was very useful Yep Okay, one is dead The one directly in front of Thun Takes a five foot step And then goes to bite Thun

Misses Natural two Wow Okay, lucky there Okay Now the other ones start to close on the party So one of them will try to acro jump up Makes it Natty18 Now the other ones start to close on the party. So one of them will try to acro jump up, makes it, Natty18.

These dogs are smoking acro. And moves half speed. He only has to roll acro on the portion of the jump. Okay. To avoid making it a difficult terrain. So in that moment, it counts. Actually, what would be the point of doing it if that counts as two movements and just walking over it would count as two movements?

Right. I see what you're saying, though, when you roll acrobatics to move. In this case, this one is going to jump up. He's going to use a breath weapon on Dalgrith and Baron. I feel like Dalgrith is really shielding my entire body from whatever happened from that

breath weapon. You know, you do, with cover, you get a plus two to your reflex saves, but is that true when you're using soft cover? I'm not sure. If you can find out the answer, Baron, I'll give you that bonus. There's no soft cover. I don't know what you're talking about. From his body, from your body. Baron is directly behind you. Oh, he's not

on my screen. He's not on my screen either. Really? Yeah. Oh, you guys got to refresh. Refresh that screen, bro. That's crazy. How did you have a shot at that first guy? He was through a complete wall. No, he wasn't. Not on my screen.

I got a clean shot from him, too. Yeah. Go ahead, both of you. Oh, Dalgrith, you're actually, now that I refresh, you're directly against the wall. Yeah. And you were over there before. Yeah. I still had a shot on that guy, but...

Yeah, so there's no soft cover. This guy has both of us dead to rights. Joe, it seems like Grant and Troy had to refresh their screens. Yeah. Yeah. My roll, 25. Wait a minute now.

And they were a little snooty about it, too. They were. Wow. Like the cut of their jibs. All right, then. Either way, move to your roll of reflexes. Okay. Catch one. Catch that jibs. All right, then. Either way, put your roll of reflex in. Okay. Come on, Dalgrit.

Let's run. 31. 29. Okay. That is going to be half damage. Ooh, rocks. So that's going to be six points of fire damage to both of you. Zero points of damage to Dalgrit.

Yeah. As he dodges out of the way of the fire and takes the damage, he says, Strike Team Delta! He just yells it out. Yeah! Boom, and he does a sweet move. Evasion! What's the sweet move he does? He goes down on one hand like a, I can't remember the skater name.

What is it? Brian Boitano. He goes down on one hand, touches his other hand with his feet. Tony Hawk? Brian Boitano. Tony Hawk or Brian Boitano. I think it's Brian Boitano. Yeah, yeah, that's what it was.

Will Ferrell in Blades of Glory. He spins in place with his hands steepled on top. Soko! Another one comes up and tries to bite Thun. Don't you bite him, doggie. Don't you bite him when I'm talking to you. Misses Thun, another garbage roll. And then the other ones are going to try and close on the party, but they're going to spread out as they do so.

So they're going to double move and kind of surround you guys, pushing you into the wall. And that's going to be their turn. So now you've got five of these hellhounds left, two of them harassing Thun, three are now up on the level with Dalgrith, Baron, Metra, and Jimmer. There's still a little bit of ways away from you, but now there's really nowhere to run unless you hug that wall, Dalgrith, and you can get behind them. But if you do that, then you're left to deal with the fire giants by yourself. It is Jimmer's turn.

Jimmer is going to look at the, uh, the giant closest to him. Okay. Uh, he's gonna move 30 feet closer to the group, to them, to the enemies. Mm-hmm. Uh, and he's gonna do an antagonize on the giant closest. Oh! Uh, and say, uh, Say there, big fella! Bigger bigger they are the dumber they are and he is

going to roll a 40 on intimidate 40 on intimidate yeah uh what is the dc for antagonize uh it's, it's... 10 plus the HD plus the whiz? Yes. Uh, wow, okay, so... Probably failed that. 10 plus the HD, well, you said 40 total? Yeah. It'd be impossible for him to pass this. Yeah. Unless he's super wise. I don't know why you're continuing to look it up.

It's, it's, it up. He failed, but... Yes, I know. It's a critical failure. They actually have decent wisdom. Do they have 20 levels? Was it like 38 wisdom? Yeah, no, he is antagonized. So he's shaken, basically, a minus two.

No, no, no. So now he has to spend his next action trying to attack me. Oh. The next round. He has to spend his next round trying to attack me, either melee or ranged. I see. Okay, all right.

So now he's pissed off at you and he's going to try and get to you. Okay. Yeah. Good. That is Jimmer's turn and now it is

Metra's turn. Metra's going to cast Fly on herself and take off into the air. Okay, in which direction? Up above the hellhounds. Up above the hellhounds. Up above the hellhounds. She's going to fly 60 feet.

We've got air support. Give me a minute. I'll put myself on the map once I... Do we have a Top Gun sound effects here? That'd be really good right now. That'd be awesome. All right, Jim, are you antagonized the foremost one there, the front one? Yeah.

Okay. He is going to try and hurl a rock at you. He'll move up the full complement of his movement and then hurl a rock at you. 18 to hit. It's a miss. It's a miss. The other one will also move 30 feet forward and hurl a rock at Flying Metro. Okay.

Or attempt to. Knock her out of the air. I don't know. Will a natural 20 hit Flying Metro? It's going attempt to. Knock her out of the air. I don't know. Will a natural 20 hit Flying Metro? Oh, no. It's going to knock you to the fucking ground. No. No.

Oh, God. This has shades of Baron's flashback. It might not confirm. Oh, God. Hold on. Oh, no. I can't do it. You said it so fast.

I'm fast. I have an ability that I can dodge these things. I don't think it's going to confirm 17. No, it doesn't confirm. Exploding die. I'm so nervous. I'm so nervous. Let's start with that one. Rolled an 8 on a d8. That means she

shall explode. Surprise, surprise. And only once. So that is going to be 27 points of regular damage. And then how about fire damage? Will this explode? No. Two points of fire damage.

Wow. So 29 total. 29 total as the rock just boom, hits you. Do you have to roll any type of fly check when you take damage while flying? That's what I'm just reading right now. I'm trying to read this. I can't find it. No, I think I'm okay. I don trying to read this. I can't find it.

No, I think I'm okay. I don't see it either. I don't see anything. I don't have wings, so... Yeah, it's about... Only if you have wings do you have to... All right. All right.

Then you just take that damage. Feel free to cast a spell next time because I would love to injure you while you're in the middle of casting a spell. You're welcome. That is going to be the Fire Giant's turn.

Glad that Natural 20 came out. That's with my new glass cannon die set. This die, by the way, only rolls between 17 and 20. So glad it's working now. It's been vicious. Round two. It's Thune's turn. Come on, Thune, baby.

Time to get Thune up in here. To Thune? Here we go. He's tiny. He's Thune. He's. Toothoon? Here we go. He's tiny. He's Thune. He's all a little loony. He's going to attack the first one there that, let's say,

the one to the left. He's going to attack the one directly to his, in front of him first. Natural one. Oh, no. Beautiful. Was that the same die? Was that the same die? It was the same die. Oh, no. Beautiful. Was that the same die? Was that the same die? It was the same die. Oh, no.

Beautiful. Cancel your orders, everybody. He has multiple attacks, so I'll see if it confirms. Wait, that was Thune that rolled the natural 1? Yeah, and it doesn't confirm. Not a confirmed fumble. Okay. Second attack, he'll also attack that guy.

That H1's Oni. Hits. And so that is going to be... H1's Oni. Hits. And so that is going to be... 2d6 plus 8 damage with the Great Sword. Come on, Thun.

Let's come on, Thun. 15 points of damage. Yeah. All right. Rise of the Thun Lords. Bring them all. Okay, so he takes a little chunk out of this guy, and then what he's going to do is take a five-foot step to the side just to give him a little distance between these creatures,

make them come up to him. Thun is a smart battler. Goes on to Dalgrith's turn. It's almost as if he has the same mind as his enemy. See your mind? Dalgrith is going to delay. Delay. Yeah, he has to get into position here.

He has to flank and he has to wait until Jimmer moves. Okay, so you're going to kind of hold off here, see if somebody helps you out to get into a flanking position. Yeah. It is Baron's turn. Baron, you lit up one of these puppies. What do you want to do this time? Baron is going to say, get along, little doggies.

He's going to take a five-foot step immediately to his right so that he can shoot down the hound of hell. That was to the north of Thun that Thun attacked before with a full attack action. Oh, yes. By Thun moving out of the way, you now have a nice, clean shot. Nice, clean shot. So the first attack with Bane.

With Bane. With beautiful, beautiful Bane 17 on the die come on Are you rolling your glass can and die too? I am rolling my glass can and die too Although it was not treating me so kindly A few moments ago Alright here we go

Come on dude 27 points of damage again Soon soften him up you You knocked him down. Yay! That's a grid point back, too. That's huge. That is humongous. That is huge.

It's been a long day. Good shot, Sheriff. Baron is going to intersect a little bit with Jimmer's Corner. You tell me I have it painted out there right now. Or it's just barely through the very corner. I'll give it a plus two to its AC. All right, let's see if Baron can repeat the results that he wants

a misfire oh oh sheriff a misfire up to a five on the die and what'd you roll a three three so it's normally one to three.

Now it's one to five. Why? Because my firearm now has the broken condition from misfiring. So I'm going to regretfully end my turn. Bow out, as it were. Bow wow. Bow wow wow. Woof woof woof.

Yippee yo. Yippee yay. It's the hellhound's turn. Yippee-yo. Yippee-yay. It's the hellhound's turn. This one that was harassing Thun steps up to continue getting in Thun's business, goes to bite the Thun master general, and misses.

Yeah, Thun! He's dodging all over the place. Now that Thun has some armor, that's a nice little miss. The other three are going to, the first one is going to move 10 feet. Let's see. He's going to blow on us. I think he's going to get all of you. 10-foot cone, you let me know. Is that going to get everyone?

No way. I'm 15 feet away. So are they... They can do their breath weapon every round? You don't know. Okay. This is the one that did the breath weapon last time? Yeah.

Okay. Then I won't have him do a breath weapon this time. I will have him step up to Jimmer and just try and take a bite. Fucking LaValle. All right, Scruff McGruff, Chicago, Illinois. Then I won't have him take a breath weapon. It recharges, but you don't know what the recharge period is. I didn't realize it was one round. It's not one round.

Maybe it is. Maybe it isn't. One deep. One deep four. Four. One deep three. Let me ask you this. 21 doesn't hit you, right?

No, it does not. So the bite misses. The other one. One of the other two comes up and does a breath whip. Let's have him kind of get right up in Baron's business. Wow. Oh, wow. And we'll breath weapon solely Baron.

Baron roll a reflex save. 28. 28. That's going to be half damage. Come on, bud. Let's make it a little roll for all. Three points of fire damage. Nice. Nothing.

Don't you not take a certain amount of fire damage? Or does Baron not have any? Oh, is that when you had that? I had my judgment down on certain things, but yeah, I'm out of judgments for the day. I already used both. It's been, yeah, a long day. The other one moves 40 feet right up to where Baron is standing

and tries to take a bite Misses on the bite Nice And that is the hellhound's turn Alright I will act Wait Shit Fucking Baron with his ranged weapon

Oh yeah I'm not flanking with you bud I got my fist in my other hand Yeah I got my fist in my hand It comes down That's where it fist in my other hand. Yeah. I got my fist in my other hand. That's where it is, in my other hand. I keep my fist in my other hand. I conceal it where my hand is open and then when I close it, I bring my fist out.

Oh my god, he's carrying a fist! That's great. Like out of nowhere. It comes down to this. Alright, I am going to enact my armor's expeditious property and get a plus 10 enhancement bonus to my speed. I am then going to run past Jimmer and flank the hellhound that came up to Jimmer. Nice. You son of a bitch.

So that provokes an attack of opportunity. All right. They will take that and roll a 23 to hit. That hits. That hits. Ooh. Yes. Ouch.

Ooh. All right. Well, then. It's not a ton of damage. Unless I roll max damage on the D8. Nine points of regular, four points of fire. Okay. Grabbing at you.

Okay. And then Dalgrath will go ahead and take a stab at this thing. Yeah. Do it. Come on, Dalgrath. The Deathbreaker! That is going to be not great. Well, it's a 26.

It's a 26. That's fine. 26? Yeah, you. It's 26. That's fine. 26? Yeah, you're fine. Yeah. 26 is fine. Uh, and he will do... That sneak attack.

He will do that. He will do that sneak attack. Yes. Do that sneak attack. Oh, yes. Oh! Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness.

Oh, God. Is that a GCP die? It sure is. Uh, that is 41 points of damage. Dead. Yeah. All right. Three little doggies gone.

All right. There we go. Well done. Well done. He rolled so high. Four sixes, two fives. That was great. You're on a roll here.

It's Jimmer's turn. All right. Jimmer is going to take a five-foot step to the southeast to face the one that's kind of catty-corner threatening Baron. Baron's got two up at his grill here. Yeah, so he's being double-teamed right now. Jimmer is going to help him out. He's like, get along, little doggie. First roll is going to be a 35 to hit.

That's a hit. And that is 27 points of damage. Okay. That wasn't a natural 17, right? No, it was not. Okay, okay. Just checking. All right, second attack.

Second attack. That is a 36 to hit. That is a hit. And that is another 27 points of damage. And that is four dead doggies. All right. All right. Start mowing them down.

Harry me down. It is Metra's turn. Metra, you just got hit by a flaming rock. I know. I was there. I'm going to target the giant that threw a rock at me. So that's giant in the back, right? Yep.

Giant in the back. The giant in the back. You have a question? I'm going to cast a spell. Okay. You asked me to cast a spell. I did. So that will be a...

Can you cast one that takes a round to... Sorry. Not this time. All right. That is a 20 against touch AC. 20 against touch AC on this big Sack of Giants That's gonna be it

No whammies, no whammies Roll a Fortitude save Sure, I'll roll a Fortitude save Come on Matthew Oh yeah, 26 Alright, you pass So the Disintegrate doesn't go through But you still take some damage

You still have disintegrate? Oh, yeah. I don't like it. I don't like it. So you take 19 points of damage. 19 points of damage. Wow. Okay.

Okay. And then Metro will continue flying. She will kind of flank out to the side. Flank out to the side, but staying above that raised area? Are you coming out into the room? She's coming out into giant territory. Ooh! Come on out. The water's fine.

Welcome to flavor country. Welcome to flavor country. Oh, my God, a flavor drink! Okay. She's now about 40 feet in the air. How tall are the ceilings in the room? 20 feet. 20 feet high.

And where it's higher in the back, it's. 20 feet high. And where it's higher in the back, it's still 20 feet high there, the way the cavern's shaped. Then I'm 20 feet up in the air. Alright then. And I can move a little farther. Alright, the one that hurled a rock at you, actually where you are, if you're 20 feet up, I'm... Let's see what his

reach situation is. I don't think it's 20 feet, but it's got 10 feet of reach. I don't think he can attack feet, but it's got 10 feet of reach. I don't think he can attack you if you're 20 feet up with a sword. How tall is the fire giant? He's 15 feet tall. He's going to...

He's 10 feet away from you, but you're up. Yeah, that's not going to do it. We should double move this around to get into position. Yeah. He's going to move up and just hurl another rock at you. Pulls a rock out of his rock punch. Hold there. That's all right.

No, let it go there. Another natural 20. Oh, no. Jesus. That's why I was like, don't react, don't react, don't react. I looked around the corner. It's the GCP logo on the top. Didn't you say you had something you could do?

I was going to save it until he gets up in there with me. All right, to confirm. I don't think it's going to confirm. I said that last time. Let's see if I can un-jinx myself. Natural one on the confirmed. Yeah. Poop salad.

We're going to do an immense amount of damage. Poop salad. Poop salad. Poop salad. First, we'll try for exploding die. Not exploding on the D8, but that's still 21 points regular. Yop salad. First we'll try for exploding die. Not exploding on the D8 but that's still 21 points regular. Yowch. And then here comes the

D6 fire. Three points of fire damage. 24 points of damage. Boom. Another rock in your face. Now is that other guy still antagonized? No. It's just one round. Just one round. Okay. Can I interrupt with a quick question? Sorry. This is going back a little bit. No, it's just one round. Just one round. Okay.

Can I interrupt with a quick question? Sorry, this is going back a little bit. I know it's interrupting, but... Yeah! I have a magical ring on that I don't know what it does. Yes. You said I had a warm feeling. It's the magical ring of delay action.

Does it do anything to resist fire at all? Um... Because I took fire damage from that hellhound. Good question. I just thought of this. Good question. Uh... It makes you feel warm. No.

Okay. No, it doesn't. I'm trying to remember what it was. I'm like, what am I? No, no. And we can roll that check again after we rest. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tomorrow, man.

That's like first order of business for me. It's like, Mattra, take another look at this ring. Damn it. Assuming we live, by the way. We could all be dead in the morning. The other one is going to also hurl a rocket, Metra. Why not? It seems like an easy target.

It's not the casino. Blow on it. Crack die. Oh, come on. Miss. Yeah. Nice. Natural three. That's what you get. Went to the well one too many times. Cracked eye Oh come on Miss Yeah Nice Natural three That's what you get

Went to the well One too many times However he will Kind of move Halfway between Metra And the The lip leading up

Just sounds so gross How does he Metra and the lip Yeah I'm just gonna ease Down this lip Slide down this Luscious lip. It's Thune's turn.

We're in a new round. It's Thune. Thune, so far, Thune has not taken a hit. He has bravely, boldly made his way up there. Let's see if he can two-shot this hellhound. Come on, come on, Thune! First attack. Natural 20.

It hits. Okay, all right, all right, all right. Yeah, Thune. Yeah, Thune! Natural 20. It hits. Okay. All right, all right, all right. Yeah, Thune. Yeah, Thune. This isn't a lot of work. We're talking about Bill Maher's Thune rules. Oh, max damage on the GCP die.

2d6, I rolled a 6 on the GCP die, a 5 on the other die. So that's 19 points of damage. Oh, no. Is that thing going to hit yet? No, it hadn't been hit yet. So let's see. He's got a chance if he can hit with this second attack. Come on, Thune. Do it for the team.

Do it for Sheriff Thune. Hits on the second. Yes! Yes! Another six and another five. Yes! Dead? Kills it.

Get it! Who's the brilliant tactician now? It was Sheriff Thune all along. That's right. It was Sheriff Thune all along. That's right. It was Sheriff Thune all along. Hindsight's 20-20. The wrench in the observatory. There is one hellhound left, but two fire giants who have been barely touched.

One hasn't been touched at all. One has been touched with a failed disintegrate that did not get all the way through. Baron, you're up, and you've got a hellhound right up on you. There's nothing written into the text that says that. Here we go. Let me sit back and put on my here we go face. This is to your fucking advantage. Quit being a...

It's my here we go face. Quit being so... I won't even say it anymore. You'll just know. I bet you he's saying here we go. So, quick clear. I'm going to spend a grip point. Look at that face.

Look at that face. When Troy does that, he just looks like someone who got cosmetic surgery in their lips. Make me look like a cat. So, quick clear is a move action when I spend a grip point on it. I don't think that provokes. Oh. I can't find anything about it. If you want to, that's fine.

If you can't find anything about it, it does to that's fine If you can't find anything about it Move actions on average don't provoke I'm not moving anywhere right I wouldn't use that language Abilities say they provoke attacks of opportunity Yes Generally it's written in the text You don't default to attacks of opportunity

Unless it says otherwise Yeah I don't see anything in there that says that, so I'm going to go ahead and spend that grip point and remove the broken condition from my gun. Okay, Colin. And then I'm going to... Hey, first time, long time. This is John from Long Island.

I want to say that a quick clear definitely provokes. Joe's personal phone number is. I mean, I don't understand. You could just take a five-foot step back, quick clear your gun without worrying about that rule, and then fire. Oh, five-foot step and a move action? Yeah, as long as it's not movement. A five-foot step is a free action.

Oh, I didn't realize that. Are you positive about that? I feel like we got flack about that. I was positive about that. I mean, I'm positive about a lot of things that are not right. But I'm positive about this one. Yeah. Can you five-foot step? That was the famous thing.

It was like 50 episodes. Oh, it is true. It is true. Five foot step plus move action. I remember this. It's a move equivalent to action. Right. Right.

You just can't take a five foot step and then do a move action. And then another actual move. That involves movement. Right. So you can't five foot step out of range and then move away. So then this is all immaterial. Five foot step, move action, quick clear the gun, and he's going to pull both triggers on this one.

Yeah, there you go. Oh, no. Oh, my God. Standard action. Come on. He was just coming up to lick your face. 24. That is a hit.

Oh, those are brutal numbers. 17 just to start with. 33 for the total damage on the first shot. It's dead. Yeah! Dead there. Grit point back. Yeah.

That's amazing. That's good grit point economy. It really is. I am unable, not just because of the battlefield, but because of the rules along pulling both triggers. When you pull both triggers, you have to target the same creature. So I'm done. Oh, you're done?

Okay. That is all six of these hellhounds. That was awesome. Yay, not for the hound dog! Dying all the time. Oh, that's good. Dying all the time. Well, there's six of them.

They're gone. Two fire giants left, though. What looked like an inescapable, unbeatable situation now seems a little bit more promising. You've taken out fire giants. At this point, you've've taken out fire giants. At this point, you've probably taken out almost a dozen of them. Yeah.

But can you take out these two? With a lot more preparation. A lot more spells left in your cache. Yeah. The cache. A lot more hit points left on the coosh. I would love a coosh ball right now. There's so much fun to play with. My son has six of them.

They're great. Oh, give me one. Nope. My son. I want one. Put your hands up, my. They're great. Oh, give me one. Uh, nope. My son! I want one! Hands up! My son's kush! Oh my god. It's a kush ball!

Oh, Brian. Uh, who just went? Who's the president? Baron just went. Baron just went. It's the hellhound's turn! No, it's Doglet's turn. They're dead. Uh... Uh, yeah, you're right, it is Dogalgrace. Yeah. Jump on it.

I wouldn't lie. Jump on it. Yeah. I think he will. I think he will. He'll do it. So if I roll the acrobatics check, you're saying I don't lose any speed going over this thing. Yeah.

I mean, the way it's written is it's two squares of movement to move from the lower to the upper. You can't run or charge. The giants can as well. They can just normally move over it, but it prevents them

from running up it or charging, as it were. But it says you can also use the DC-12 Acrocheck. So what would be the point of the DC-12 Acrocheck if it doesn't give...

But from a logic standpoint, it doesn't make any sense. And also, you just said from lower to upper. We're going from upper to lower, so there should almost be nothing in our way. He should almost get a speed boost going down that incline. Well, yeah, but you could get tripped up.

Even going downhill is tough. Regardless, it's an auto pass for Dalgrith. Like, I mean, he's too good for this. He's too good for this. So he is going to use his last Expeditious burst of the day Okay In order to run Jump down this incline

With surprising Deafness and then at the end of his Movement toe to toe with the fire Giant attempt to jump up and grab on Yes And by the way I'm going to read this straight out of the book A medium or smaller creature treats the tiers as steep slopes and must spend two squares of movement to ascend to a higher tier.

Alternatively, medium creatures can jump to a different tier, so from higher to lower or lower to higher, Acrobatics DC 12, without needing to use the extra movement. Okay, well, there you go. So the specifics of this book will say overrule the specifics of the acrobatics. Right. Skill. Agreed.

All right. So he will jump up and he'll try, he will attempt to grab onto this cat. Man, this. You are very far away from your friends. I am. I am. Bold. Inspired by Thun's courage.

Well, he saw them, the chucking rocks at Metra, and Metra is like, we need her alive. He knows she doesn't have a whole ton of HP. She's taking almost 60 points of damage. Yeah, exactly. So he's going to, come over here, you great, filthy bastard. And he jumps up and tries to grip on, oh, no. 35. 35 against CMD.

CMD. Oh, boy. It's going to be close, no. 35. 35 against CMD. CMD. Oh, boy. It's going to be close, Joe. Just straight up CMD. Straight up CMDizzle. You're on. Yes! Oh, thank God.

What'd you roll on the die? Five. Five, yes. Five on the die. Well, that lets you know that at least for these straight up fire giants that don't have any bonuses to their CMD, you're going to have to roll pretty low to miss. Yes. yeah. I mean, but when you get into more serious giants,

like even with everything being built around this for the character, at 13th level, it's still going to be like 50-50 when you're talking about the real big guy. Show is. All right, but he's on. Okay. That's a huge difference. And that's your turn, yes?

That is my turn, yes. All right, it is Jimmer's turn. All right, it is Jimmer's turn. All right, Jimmer. So he would have to double move to get up to any of these giants. So what he's going to do is he's going to move 30 feet up to the lip of this incline here. Up to the lip! And he's going to use Antagonize one on the giant that Dalgrief just jumped on. Nice, nice!

And, uh, Mr. Your lip hangs down like a blacksmith's apron. And, uh, that is a 37. That is good. Yeah, dude! Oh, now wait. Oh, that's so great that he can't even attack. Yeah, now he can't

even try to attack you He's like just looking up at Metra And he's just What did you say about my apron? He doesn't even notice Dahlgraith is on his back yet Yeah, that's kind of awkward Even though he antagonized and you're on his back He has to fight Jimmer

Okay, it is Metra's turn How you doing over there, Metra? I'm a little hurt, a little bruised, a little battered A little bruised, a little battered So Here's what I'm gonna do First things first, hold on let me just check one thing

Okay Um So what Metra is going to do... Oh, the 20-foot ceilings are really putting a little damper on my mood here. Really peeing in your Cheerios. Okay, so first things first, Metra is going to enact her shadow whale ability. Oh. Remind me what that does.

Let's make sure I can do it. Oh, dear. So basically, I, at this level, I can switch the position of two willing allies, including myself. Oh.

Oh. So I'm going to switch positions with Jimmer. So Jimmer will be up in the air? I'm going to descend as my move action. Okay. So I'll move out

I'll start to descend to the ground And then You're really putting Jimmer in the shit Jimmer is a five foot step away From the other giant that he hasn't antagonized Yeah yeah Wow okay So you descend to the ground

Another bull is going to come after me on their next turn You're looking at this from a Jimmer. Shadow, you're looking at this from a Jimmer on offense perspective. I'm looking at this from a Jimmer on defense perspective. It should be alright.

You're currently riding one of the guys. I am riding. So I'll be there, Jimmer, don't worry. You'll be there. I'm coming, brother! The one that you're on

cannot do, at least he can't do a full attack on me because he's going to have to move to get to me. That's true. Or throw a rock. And then the other one is...

Actually, yeah, the other one can hit me already. Well, it's their turn. Oh, dear. So the one that you antagonize... Where'd he go? And he starts to make his way over to you with daggers on his back. Doom, doom, doom, doom. And we'll swing Do we want to do power attack?

It's a big choice And I believe Jimmer is now flanking Jimmer and Dogwreath are now flanking the fire giant Yes, we are Well, not quite yet Well, I'm not threatening them yet But if I step in, I will be Oh, man

This could either work very well or it could get pretty nasty. This thing has already thrown out two 20s today. I'm going to put Power Attack on. I was looking to see if I had Vital Strike. I don't. Crits 19 to 20. Here it comes. First.

That's the thing. It doesn't matter what his AC is. 19 to 20 crit is tough. Just a poopy poop poop roll. 22 to hit. That is a miss. Oh, come on. Okay.

Flang right off the fucking shield. The other one. We'll do a full attack, actually. Oh, dear. And he will also do power attack. Okay. Oh, boy. First drop.

Okay. I hate power attack, but I also love it. Oh, God. Every roll, 28 to hit. Okay. I hate power attack, but I also love it. Oh, God. After we roll, 28 to hit. Miss. Oh, my God, if that misses. Wow, that's great. All right, second attack.

Another miss. Yes! Fucking jibber, man. It worked perfectly. Third attack. Oh, man. Three misses. Yes!

I rolled 10, 10, 9. Oh, God. 10, 10, 9. 10, 10, 220. You should have called that for your collectibles. So it is plus 18 to hit. I just finished a little picture that Jimmer just like, boom, just like ducking just under the swings of their weapons.

So I'm sorry. Taking a step back, you know. Plus 18. So between the 19 you said and the 17 I said, so we're both equally dumb or right? Well, I'm just saying it's plus 18. That's all I said. Okay.

All right. That is their turn. I can't believe four attacks. They all missed. It is Thun's turn. All right. All right, Thun. Where does Thun want to go?

He can't get over to that giant. But he can get near. So he is going to... He's going to double move. Oh, no. You know what? If he does, he's going to... He's going to provoke.

So he's going to double move, but get up between the two giants to the left. So very bravely, we'll move up fearlessly and be like 10 feet away from Dalgrith, 25 feet away from Jimmer, to the left of the two giants, but right

in the middle. They're like north and south right now. Thun just kind of gets up there so that next turn, he can get in a position to strike. He also puts himself... In a position for a full attack action by either of the giants. By either of them, yeah. All right, so not a great place for Thune to be,

but that's the way Thune rolls. I think our GM is trying to kill an NPC. He doesn't want to play anymore. Thune is brave. What's it going to take to prove Thune's worth? It's Baron's turn. Baron surreptitiously smiles At uh Jimmer's taunting words

Looks out at the giants And says he's got more guts Than you could hope to hang on a fence And he drops his gun straight into the ground And pulls out The giant spang crossbow Oh wow Spends the rest of the round Loading spang crossbow. Oh, wow. For a free action, spends the rest of the round loading up that crossbow.

Wow. Far away. Wow. And I haven't used it in so long. I just thought it'd be fun. Dalgrith, you're on his back. What do you want to do? Dalgrith is going to click his heels together and get hasted, maybe.

How many? Do you have like two rounds left? Three rounds left. Three rounds. Yeah. Nice. Three rounds of haste left. So he's going to get all hasted up.

And, uh, sorry, a lot of math. All right. Here we go. Oh, no. You know what? No, because he's not flanking. So he's going to delay. He's going to delay.

Because he's going to delay. He's got to wait for Jimmer. All right. Well, it's Jimmer's turn. Okay. Jimmer, like he knows what's going to delay. Because he's going to delay. He's got to wait for Jimmer. Alright, well, it's Jimmer's turn. Okay. Jimmer, he knows what's going on. He knows that Dahlgreeth would prefer him to be threatening this creature.

So he takes a five foot step and unleashes hell in the form of Terminus S. Let's do it! Ancient Sword of the West! Let's see if this guy has yet to be hit. Let's see how quickly he gets it Natural 19 critical threat Oh yeah baby

Unbelievable Oh man Now he's been hit Oh phenomenal And to confirm Oh that is a 37 to confirm Yeah Are you a named character?

Yeah I think so I can't remember my name Let me check the books Let's call this episode Jimmery World. Oh, I like it. Joe, what do you got for old Jimbo? I got Nick from Boston. Oh, I like him already.

Yeah, Nick from Boston. Is it Nick Stevens? It might be. My friend Nick Stevens. My buddy Nick? Yeah, Fitzy. He says, what are the odds out of sheer luck or pure skill

you happen to hit the target's greatest weakness? His dick. Roll a third time. His weakness is his greatest strength. I thought it was going to be public speaking. If you would threaten to crit again, the target takes quadruple damage. Oh, wow. Fortitude save negates

the third hit and the target just takes double damage. I like that. That's fun. That's a fun crit. That's a fun crit. It sure is. What are the odds? Even Skid can get behind.

I do crit, especially when it's improved critical. Yeah, I crit 17 or above. 13. Okay, so double damage. Okay, double damage. Oh, thank you, Nick. Okay, so that is 56 points of damage. Okay.

And you're all out of attacks. And that's your round. Second attack. Oh, my goodness, it can't be. That is a natural. That is a 27 to hit. 27. With flanking?

Oh, 29. That is a hit. Yeah. 27 damage. Okay. And third attack hit. Yeah. 27 damage. Okay. And third attack. Don't forget that flake. That's natty 18, another critical threat.

Oh, my God. Are you rolling your glass can of dye, too? Yes, and that is a 29 on the confirm. That is a confirmed crit. Yes. All right. Oh, my God. We're just going gonna burn through these

unbelievable it's insane how many crits you've rolled since this character has entered the game yeah yeah I mean he's that's a lot yeah he's got the keen weapon he's got the improved critical it's like that's

definitely his bread this is yeah well I mean it's both a tank build and a crit build he's great yeah he's really like he's like Chris Cook's character and our Caleb Atana. Caleb. All right, here we go.

This one for Patrick in, oh, I'm sorry, Matthew, British Columbia. I love British Columbia. Lock your ears, Matthew. Matthew, earmuffs. Rallying strike. Your strike inspires your allies to dig deeper and summon up new reserves for the fight. Double damage. You and all conscious allies able to see you choose one.

Wow. Choose one. Recover two hit points per hit die they possess. Immediately roll a save against an ongoing condition with a plus four bonus or gain a plus two to all attacks made next turn. Double these numbers if the attack kills or knocks out the target. Wow. Holy shit.

Can I get the Reader's Digest version of that, Chris? So, yeah, basically it's double damage, and if you kill him on this, then Metro's going to be back at the fall. I got a lot of help there. And I'll get a plus four to hit. It was on all attacks, yeah. It's 50 points of damage. 50 points, he's still alive. Okay. Okay, so everybody gets to hit. It was, on all attacks, yeah. It's 50 points of damage. 50 points,

he's still alive. Okay. Okay, so everybody gets to choose. You can heal two hit points per level, or you can get a plus two to attack. Next round. Everyone,

so it heals everyone. No, no, you can, everyone can choose to heal, sure. Wow. What is the,

what is the blessing of fervor that lets you choose other things? It's kind of similar. Blessing of fervor. Yeah, but blessing of fervor. It's similar to how that works. Wow. Rallying strike. I like that. It's kind of similar. Blessing of fervor. Yeah, but blessing of fervor. It's similar to how that works. Wow.

Rallying strike. I like that. That's great. I like that. Jimmer is bold and awesome. Douglas, you delayed to get into flanking. Do you want to go now? Sure do, buddy. Alright. Okay. Seeing this giant is pretty Now you know what? I'll use my haste. Fuck it. I need the bonus to hit. He is going to click his heels together.

Keep holding on uh and oh actually you know what yeah yeah he's gonna keep holding on he's gonna take a swing uh yeah that that's gonna be a hit it's uh roughly 30 yeah that's it yeah uh and oh boy hit that sneak attack. I know, right? That is, oh, man, so awesome. That is 39 points of damage. Nicely done. And then there was one. Yes!

All right. Yes! And then there was one. Okay. Okay. Do you want me to ride him to the ground, or can I have, like, a move action? No, that's all right. I'll just ride him. It still only counts as one. Okay. Do you want me to ride him to the ground, or can I have, like, a move action? Nah, it's all right. I'll just ride him. It still only counts as one!

Right. I'll just hold there. All right, it is Metra's turn before the fire giant, the remaining fire giant acts. Okay. Metra will fly up into the air. Okay. You're way in the back there where Jimmer was. And she will point her finger at the remaining giant.

Okay. That was on a natural 19 and rolled to a 3. I assume a 12 misses. No, it does not. 12 minutes touch. 12 minutes touch hits. Yes. A big old target. Okay. Fortitude save. So, yeah. Fortitude save, please. Fortitude save. You're disintegrating again?

You're going to the shadow well once too many times. 24. That passes. I actually wasn't doing a disintegrate. Oh. I was doing a ray of enfeeblement. Oh. That would have been nice. Digging deep into those spells there. Yeah. I was in prestidigitation.

Gotta use a little bit of everything. Alright, so you pass on the save so that you take four strength damage. Wow. Four strength damage. What did you do?

Wow. 1d6 plus one for two caster levels. I rolled a three. Wow. So that's a... Oh, no, it's a... Yeah, it's four.

All right, so minus two to attack, minus two to damage. Huge. Huge. Huge. Not to mention what it'll do to his climb check. And his morale. Huge. Huge. Huge. Not to mention what it'll do

to his climb check. And his morale. And his morale as the one remaining giant. Okay. It's his turn. He really came in here with a plan.

Thought he got the jump on you guys. Brought half a dozen hellhounds with him and his partner, his best friend. They joined the Ashby clan at the same time.

They thought that they would see the day. Did they bring the hounds with them? Did they raise them from childhood? Or from puppyhood? You'll never know. You'll never know. I mean, we could ask him. He is going to... Capture them alive! We need to ask about the hellhounds and their ownership, sirs! Five foot steps. At all costs!

Tie him up Do they get their shots We must question them at length Do they have tags Jack have they been shipped Five foot step Let's start with an attack On Jimmer

Rather than me taking a lie I'm going to leave power attack on I'm going to leave power attack on. I'm going to leave power attack on. I don't know why, but I feel like I'm going to have better rolls this time. Starting out with a critical threat on a natty 19. Oh, there it is. Who was that against? This is against Jimmer.

This is highest base attack bonus, power attack. Let's see if I confirm here. Natural two. Natural two. Natural two. So the power attack is 18. The real attack is plus 20, right? Or even more. I'm not going to tell you.

You figure out the math on your own. 3d6. 38 points of damage. Oh, man, that hurts. On that first swing. Second swing. That's a non-crit. Second swing.

Well, not a confirmed crit. Oh, yeah, crit would be brutal. You know what is brutal though? This natural one I just rolled Oh Oh my god You're done I think this is gonna be A confirmed fumble

You tell me Jimmer 27 Yeah it's a fumble Yeah it's a fumble Oh boy You're done Oh god

Oh god It's even lower Because of his strength So 20 Fumble Oh Jimmer give yourself Two damage back Oh, God. It's even lower because of his strength. So 20. Bumble! Shipper, give yourself two damage back because of the ray of enfeebled. Oh, nice.

Thank you. Okay, this one from Hunter in Plano, Texas. I was like, Piano, Texas? Yes. I was. Piano, Texas. Hunter in Plano, Texas. Bad vibrations. Ooh.

Your attack hits the target squarely On the best part of their defenses And your arms shake wildly With the force of the blow You deal half damage to the target And yourself And you cannot make weapon attacks For 1d4 rounds On a successful fortitude save

The duration is reduced to one round. Alright, what is the, against his AC? The fortitude save is his AC. Fail. Fail! So we're roll damage anyway. So we're each going to take half damage. Yeah, so roll damage anyway. Alright. Let's roll regular damage

and we'll split it. 36 points of damage. So we'll each take 18. Okay. Each take 18 and then roll a 1d4 for how many rounds you are. You can't make a weapon. So absolutely brutal. Because he has one more attack and I can't use it.

Right? Oh, vicious. Two rounds. Two rounds. Oh, man. So that'd be this round and the next. Right. Because he's still got one left.

I'm sure he'll survive forever. That is... Oh, yeah. He'll definitely survive one more round. Definitely. He five-foot stepped up into this, so that's the end of his turn. Oh, dear. Because he's just like, what is wrong with this thing?

He can't make weapon attacks, right? Just weapon attacks. He could throw a rock. Right. Right. So that's a weapon. A rock is a weapon. It kind of is.

I mean, he could do an unarmed strike, right? Yes. Yes. It is a new round. And it's Thun's turn. Thun's out. Thun delay. I think Thun is a five foot step away from a full attack. Thun steps right up to him.

Oh, man. I love the music, too. Thun is so heroic And as he does he just turns and looks Right off in the distance Where Baron is And then strikes twice First attack Misses

He was still swinging while he was looking at Baron Second attack Keep your eye on the target Also misses He misses He was looking at Baron the whole time Second attack You're too cocky Keep your eye on the target Also misses Oh no No Swah Swah

He misses He was looking at Baron the whole time Yeah see Wait you gotta look at the target I was really stupid on his part It was Baron's turn Oh right Okay I'm after Thune

I was so confused This is where I went He looks at the giant We're dead in the eye And says Everyone's gotta play Until they get punched In the mouth

Boom Natural 20 Oh my god I was just starting to calculate all the cover That this giant gets I wanted to take the plus 2 I'll still take the plus 2 on the attack Oh my goodness

It's not a misfire Don't think it confirms unless against Regular AC A 21 21 against regular AC. A 21. 21 against regular AC is not confirmed. All right, so this is exploding dice. Exploding. Exploding dice.

Exploding vein dice. This is 1d10 plus 8 plus 2d6. Here we go. Come on, buddy. 10. Oh, my exploding 10. Here we go. Exploding 10.

All right, so 13, 14, 18, plus a 26 points of damage. Okay. Huge crossbow bolt goes across the boat right in the belly. That is so great. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. Can I pick up an item? No, it's an interact action, so it's not a move action, right?

Swift. Well, no. Move action. Move action. All right, so I'll pick up my pistol and just not a move action, right? Swift. Well, no. Move action. Move action. Oh, I'll pick up my pistol and just hold on to it in my other hand. Okay. So you're not going to reload the crossbow? No, that's a full round action.

That's a full round action. Okay. Jimmer, you are up. Nice. So Jimmer is like, he sees, ah, got you now. And he takes a five foot step. I guess he's not flanking because Thune is kind of on the opposite side. Yeah, Thune did not get you in the right spot.

Okay, so he is going to do a full attack. First swing with Terminus Est. Natty 18, critical threat! Oh, my goodness. I mean, we are rolling rocks today! All right, natural one on the confirmed, so not a confirmed crit. All right. We're rolling so shitty tonight. 30 points, we are rolling. The rocks today. All right. Natural one on the confirmed. So not a confirmed crit. All right.

We're rolling so shitty tonight. But that is 30 points of damage. Okay. That's fine. Second attack. Natty 17. Another critical threat. Unbelievable.

Is this your GCP die? Another Natty 17 on the confirmed. Confirmed. That is three crits in four rounds. Yes. We are just burning through these. You rolled what? Three natural 20s this time?

Yeah, I had a few natural... Two against you. Yeah, I remember those. Remember those? All right, Derek from Bonnie Lake, Washington. Hi, Derek. Hi, Derek. Disabling blow.

Ooh. As if this guy's disabled enough. You deliver a crushing blow to the target's main arm. Double damage and the target loses all feet-based modifications to attack, e.g. power attack. Would be the only one relevant here. For one day, reflex negates. Oh, wow. Reflex negates.

Okay. Fail. Okay. So he can't power attack and he can't attack with a weapon. And you deal double damage you deal His arm really hurts 55 points of damage 49 hit points left Oh my god

The fire giants are dead The hellhounds are dead One room of former slaves has been completely wiped out There is another room that you have not looked into A cracked ceiling And a giant camp That now knows someone's here. Oh, they were haunting us. We'll see you next week.

Oh, no! I never wanted to play more than I do right now! That's the goal! I want to play so bad! Shout out to Hunter and Plano. Thank you, Texas. Yeah! Snuck that in there.

Yeah, I know. and is an officially licensed partner of Paizo Incorporated. Giant Slayer is copyright 2015. Giant Slayer and the Pathfinder Adventure Path are trademarks of Paizo. All Pathfinder images are property of Paizo and are used with permission.