The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 220 - Collapse in Judgment

Episode Date: August 13, 2019

With the crack in the ceiling between levels staring them in the face, the party must decide the best way to proceed now that they've been discovered. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast. I mean, what a day. What a day. What a day. A solid first day. After tearing through the lower level. I reckon none of us are ready for another fight. We've got to find a way to rest here.

The heroes plan their next move. We've got to blow that ceiling. That's what we've got to do. Break it down. Collapse the wall. But without knowing what waits for them upstairs. Metro, you can move like no one else in darkness I've ever seen. If you're willing to go ahead, I'd love to have you do reconnaissance for us.

They'll have to go in blind. I feel unsettled for some reason. I know. It's almost too easy. This is too easy. Something feels very wrong. The adventure continues now. What is going on, every booty? It's your old buddy, Troy.

I'm just making my good friend Joe Bryan laugh. How are you, buddy? What's going on, Pat? What's going on, every booty? It's every booty. Every booty. That one got you, huh? Good booty?

Very easy to get today. It's not even 2 o'clock. Are you drinking a 7 and 7? What is this? Yes, this is a Jack Daniels and ginger ale. It looks like it is. No, no, that is a diet ginger ale. You caught me on my lunch break.

You're making me record an intro on my lunch break, man. Sorry, man. The work never ends. You better make this quick. I will. I promise. We've got a couple things we've got to touch base on. And then we're getting right to episode 220. intro on my lunch break man the work never ends you better make this quick i will i promise we got a couple things we gotta touch base on and then we're getting right to episode 220 220 we've

done 220 of these stupid things i don't think they're stupid i think they're fine nobody listens anymore yes they do you're such a psycho well you know what we're having a fun day here in the office today because we've been doing some casting today that's right another day of casting and this one uh man we met some interesting people this was a very exciting day for us yes i haven't been excited about the prospect of of expanding the the cast of characters on this network until today yes today is very exciting and i'm excited for the future of the network getting to see people that i think might be good fits here. That's, I mean, we need that. We need that for growth.

Yeah, and for people that don't know, we're talking about, you know, expanding the cast for other new shows that we're preparing. One in particular,

which is a Pathfinder second edition show that'll be exclusive for our Patreon subscribers. So get on to that Patreon. Five bucks a month and sometime soon you're going to start hearing

some new cast members I'm very excited Yeah it should be fun And the other big announcement We have is Obviously people have been Foaming at the mouth About these glass cannon dice

The glass cannon dice buddy They were flying off the shelves At our two shows during Gen Con At Hi-Fi Indianapolis Well we finally Got our shit together To figure out the best way to ship them. And so they will be going live on the website today, 12 noon Eastern time.

And when I say today, I mean Tuesday, August 13th. So get on there. Now, here's the thing. I think the remaining sets that we have, there's not a ton of them. They're going to go pretty fast. Don't freak out. We've already got another order coming in. We just got to keep these moving.

And once they're gone, we'll just keep ordering them. As long as there's a demand, we'll keep selling them. But if you don't get these ones, you'll never have true first generation. Yeah. I mean, you should feel like a loser. And I wouldn't even bother, you know, trying to get the second set. It's not the same. Wow.

You're a terrible salesman. I just don't want people to be bummed out. They're like, all I wanted was a Delablu. No, they're coming. And they're gone. They're coming. And we're going to have the full sets that come in four different colors,

green, blue, red, and black. And then we have individual D20s because this is a luxury item. We know not everybody can afford the fancy sets, but maybe you just get a D20. I don't know about you, Joe, but mine has been rolling rocks. Mine doesn't roll shit.

No, no. That's why we didn't give you a color. We just said here, take a D20 and don't let anybody else touch it. I just rolled a 20 while we were talking here. You really did.

Yeah, it's so nice. It really looks cool when that logo comes up. It's like, yeah, I earned that. Twice over. Twice over. Anyways, check that out. Noon tomorrow,

Tuesday, August 13th Those are going live Don't freak out If they're all gone We're getting more And we will hopefully Have some At the Masquerade

In Atlanta Which I think it's sold out If it's not sold out There's only six tickets left Maybe To our show During Dragon Con On Saturday

August 31st Yes And we're adding Another show To that Dragon Con run. Not like a rock club show. This is at the con. This is hot off the press. Hot off the press. I mean, we just sealed

this deal with Jason Bowman. We're going to be running a second edition game with Jason Bowman at Dragon Con Friday night, 8 o'clock. Is that when it is? 8, 8.30? I think it's going to be 8.30. The details are still coming together. I mean, I just got a text from jason as you're saying this announcement so we're still working out it could all fall through but i want you to put a pin in friday night somewhere around

8 8 30 if you have badges to the con if you don't have badges the con you can't get into this but i'm pretty sure it's free otherwise as long as you have a badge to the con yes and uh i don't even know what we're doing i don't know what he's coming up with for us But it's just going to be a one-off little fun get-together And really just harass Jason Bullman Yeah, which is always fun We have a good time doing that Yeah, we might bring back some familiar names We very well may

Who knows? We very well may I mean, this is going to be all put together last minute But it is always a good time when we get together with Jason B And play a little 2E Oh, I like that You like that? Yeah, we should end on that

Okay, here's the episode 220 of the Glass Cannon Podcast. We go. It is episode 220 of the Glass Cannon Podcast. Do you know what's special about the number 220? One more than 219? That doesn't make it special, Matthew.

Why not? Why does that not make it special? It is divisible by both 110 and 2. It's 200. That's a little more special than just its placement in numbers. I disagree. If we're going to pick arbitrary reasons to like numbers, why not? Well, let me tell you one thing. I have a good reason. What do you guys get? placement in i disagree if we're going to pick arbitrary reasons to like numbers why not well

let me tell you i have a good reason what do you got skid matthew aside i think i have a good reason it's seven less than the show 227 the jack a herrick sitcom it's seven less than that that is way more special than your answer matthew see but i think i can out special even you skid oh i'd like to see you try i wouldn't ask joe because I'm sure he doesn't know anything about anything. But it is the sum of four consecutive prime numbers. Oh, that is special. See? That's special.

Isn't that special? 47 plus 53 plus 59 plus 61. 220. Wow. And if you add another prime number, seven, you get 227. Oh, and 55. I think we just figured something out. Call Matt.

It's a tetrahedral number, the sum of the first 10 triangular numbers, and a dodecahedral number. I don't even know what any of that means. It's also the product of At least three primes Oh that's fun See now that's special I recently started To re-watch This better be about

220 It popped up Or 227 It's about numbers Is it the show numbers The show numbers Did you start to re-watch The show numbers

Tensionally connected To these numbers I got the DVD collection Of the show numbers A whole set of numbers In CBS I got the DVD collection of the show Numbers. A whole set of numbers. I got called back for that show. My first audition in LA.

Did you really? Yeah, I almost got to play. What could have been? The guy working the morgue. I don't know how you didn't get that part. Yeah, really. My line was like, he's dead. That's a great line reading. I don't know why they...

I improvised. Nailed it. They were like, that guy nailed it. How do we not offer him the job? They're down in the morgue. And they just say, I think he's dead. Cheat over him. What a hot tease.

Wait, did you sing that in the audition? I did, yeah. Might have been the reason you didn't get it. They like to do that music on their own. They like to let the post-production people handle that. Also on a different network. Also that. Yeah, it's a different show.

No wonder I didn't get the spot. Joe, what's your dub story? I was just going to ask you guys. It popped up on Netflix recently, and I started re-watching the da vinci code and i was curious if what people's thoughts were on that movie hate it pass nope i did not never wanted to watch at all i didn't remember how i felt about it the first time and so i started re-watching it and i was like this is bad bad hard to watch i care where i read this but someone referred to that book as a primer on how not to write an English sentence. Well, I enjoyed the book.

I have to admit that. Back in the day when it was what everybody was reading. Yeah, it was the hot subway book. It was the Da Vinci Code and also another awful book, The Secret. Yeah, it was around the same time. And Eat, Pray, Love. They were all around the same time. No, Da Vinci Code's earlier. Da Vinci Code's like 2003.

Really? Yeah, around there The secret's a little bit later Oh, is it? A couple years later It's based on a true story The secret? Well

Da Vinci Code Yeah, definitely It is actually based on existing Kind of conspiracy theories About the Merovingian dynasty And all that stuff I just found it so Like just

I don't know It was just so ridiculous That the guy like Carves himself up and writes a hidden code in scrambled words. And so that you knew it was scrambled, he wrote the Fibonacci sequence, scrambled. And they're like, this is a Fibonacci sequence, but out of order. I'm like, well, how do you know it's a Fibonacci sequence out of order? They're like, since that's out of order. It's sequence-less.

Then these letters must be out of order. And they figure it out in, like, eight seconds seconds and then it's all in the first one minute of the movie and i was like this this is this is not good yeah it's like uh so you re-watched the davinci curve no i didn't finish it i watched about 15 minutes and was like i do not remember this being this unwatchable this is unbelievable and i stopped yeah this is realistic at all Bring it back to 220 now It's It's 200 plus 10% Joe saw a movie That had numbers in it

It's a shitty tip on 200 No I was talking about the prime numbers The Da Vinci code It was 220 AM and he was like Let's watch a hot flick That actually is why I was watching it I couldn't sleep. I like that movie.

I'm a big, I like that, who's in it, Tom Hanks? Tom Hanks. I like that guy. I like that fella. I like that guy. I love, I was a big bosom, big bosom buddies fan, but that movie just didn't do it for me. What else is he in?

I know I've seen him in something else. I've seen him in other things. Oh, that Dungeons and Dragons movie. That's right. I actually did, I was watching that the other night uh with uh samantha what's it called again uh tunnels and trolls tunnels and troll mazes and monsters mazes and monsters um it is hot hot garbage it is so terrible and it's so funny because that movie and the book that inspired it were were uh probably primarily responsible for the whole satanic panic like anti dungeons and dragons

movement of my youth and i watched it when it was on tv because i like tom hanks i i was a big but it was made for tv it was made for tv cbs i believe check double check me but you know and uh i was like oh it's like they're talking about Dungeons and Dragons. Confirmed. Thank you. They're talking about Dungeons and Dragons like on TV. It's like, oh, my God, I'm so in. And I watch it. And first of all, like they get like everything about role playing games wrong.

They're like, this is like, well, you know, I want to find a gaming group here at college, but I really have to concentrate on my studies. They start talking. It's just like, oh, you play this game. I start talking, and it's just like, oh, you play this game? It's like, oh, I play it too. What level are you? It's like level nine. It's like, I'm level nine too.

Isn't it so great to be designing your own scenarios? It's like, yeah. So it's like, it's not Scientology. Like, what the fuck are you talking about? Like, I got so furious watching it again. I was like, I couldn't believe it. How far did you watch the whole thing? No, I got about 45 minutes into it

And I was like Yeah Well Let's bring it back to 220 Because We're in it now yeah Episode 220 and For the past

Dozen episodes I'd say You guys have made short Work of this first level of the volcano lair of the fire giants. The lair. Now, there are a lot of ways you could have gone left instead of right, right instead of left, backward instead of forward, to the southwest instead of the northeast. But you got to where you think you need to go, the place that Thun told you about with the crack in the ceiling. You feel like if you can sabotage this, break down that ceiling, it is going to cut the barracks off from possibly the level that you're on,

possibly the next level. You don't know because you haven't seen beyond this door. You get here, and you realize before you can move forward, you've got to deal with those orc slaves. You don't know because you haven't seen beyond this door you get here and you realize before you can move forward you've got to deal with those orc slaves you you don't have to but the moral compass of the group metra insists upon it to sheriff thun and god damn it you go back dalgrith bravely you're welcome leads them back through unmolested this room, and you come up with a plan. We're going to go back to the cathedral. We're going to get as many weapons as we can.

We're going to arm them and take it from there. So you go back to the cathedral. You're gone for like an hour and a half, two hours. You come back. You open that first door, and it's like something out of The Shining, just blood everywhere,

and it's a setup. You turn around hellhounds two fire giants it looked pretty bad i saw the uh classic o'brien like hands thrown up like well tpk let's walk away from the table why do we play this why do we even play this he really vacillates between you're fine and what's going on there's no middle ground there's none and usually there's no discerning one situation from the other no but you were saying something before we went on air and you were like yeah no I'm gonna say it on there what were you saying about the combat you

liked it yeah I was just gonna say that I love combats like this every once in a while you kill dogs well yeah no God when you put it like that in a long campaign you put it like that it in a long campaign. When you put it like that, it's very appealing, Matthew. In a long campaign where, you know, you have a lot of different kinds of encounters, I like to, every once in a while, get an encounter that is a whole lot of enemies

where a good chunk of them are lower HD because it has the benefits of both. You have to move tactically. You have to switch and do different targets. You get to, you know, finish off a lot more creatures and monsters. You get to feel like heroes, you know, but there's still also creatures in the combat that can take you out in one round. So it's not like you're just mowing over things, but you are also maybe delayed by these little things in this case nipping at your heels and that kind of thing uh and so when was the last time you know we had eight eight enemy combatants in a in a in an encounter we haven't really had that it's all been a couple huge people skirkotless tomb probably yeah but but you know the problem with that is like yeah but the

problem with that is when they're unhittable like witch fires and what were those little electricity things always willow wisps oh boy god they're so brutal but like you know so annoying just give me a dog to kill you know what i mean it's like we all feel that way fiery wolf outside of murdering uh canines which is what joe's into um the other benefit we got from that besides feeling like big strong heroes by killing dogs, is you said that there may have been some patrols that we missed out at this point. We can assume, I'm thinking because of dogs, hellhounds, whatever they are, that this was a patrol. Maybe the only one, maybe there's more than one, but we got rid of one patrol? Well, one thing's for sure, but between the time when you left and you came back, certain things have been

discovered. Now, you don't know if they found the dead bodies in these other rooms or whatnot, all the havoc that you've wreaked since you came in the volcano, but you do know that they found the orc slaves in this room and took care of them. You feel pretty confident about that.

And you knew that they were waiting for you to come back. Does that mean the orcs talked? You know that fire giants are intelligent. Even your base fire giant has an intelligence, has a certain amount of wisdom. They are trained to hunt down

anyone that's going to try and enter their lair. They are smart enough to set an ambush, obviously. Smart enough to set an ambush. Smarter than your average giant. Newer than your average giant? Knew we were going to come back for these creatures. But you did handle yourselves well,

and I think it really speaks to you guys functioning really well as a squad. This is the best squad. I was saying, yeah. Obviously, you're 13th level now, so you're going to be it's hard to to really know um but even relative to like the the creatures that we're fighting i mean i think this is maybe the most like balanced yeah instead of when we went off air last week it's just we're a little glass feels like we are but we we do well yeah but we do compliment each other. We have roles that compliment each other really well, I think.

I don't know if it's an illusion yet, if we're just getting lucky. Yeah, maybe. I mean, obviously, last week, we rolled really well, and Troy rolled pretty poorly. He rolled a bunch of natural 20s. I wouldn't say a bunch. He rolled a bunch of misses. Against you. It felt like a lot to you.

It was three, right? They were natural 20s At least two On the rock throws Yeah They weren't like full melee strikes They weren't power throws But then you

Like you would do that And then you would roll Natural one or two Or three on the confirmed I was kind of all over the place Yeah But that's the thing So it's like you would hit

You would get those crazy rolls But then they wouldn't have The total impact that they would And I mean Jimmer critically threat Like six or seven times. Yeah. Which is like, and we said this on air, like obviously you're built to crit, but still to roll consistently between 17 and 20.

That's not, that's almost like your name is Grant. Yeah. Yes, exactly. You're using grants, fudgy die. Well, anyways, before we jump in today, because I think today I really don't know what you guys are going to do. I, I, I know that there are things that need to be done. I'm so excited to rest.

Oh, my God. We are so spent. Utterly spent. Before we get into that, you know, last week we took a little look back into a youthful, barren Redheart. Nay. That's right. Ashpeak, perhaps. We found out he hated birds.

Nay Redheart, now Ashpeak. Nay Redheart, now Ashpeak. Or maybe nay Ashpeak, then Red Heart. Nay. That's right. Ashpeak, perhaps. We found out he hated birds. Nay, Red Heart. Now, Ashpeak. Nay, Red Heart. Now, Ashpeak. Or maybe Nay, Ashpeak. Then, Red Heart. Then, Nay. I think the way I said it was more correct. No, it was wrong.

But Matthew really fucked it up. So, let's move on. You were born Ashpeak. Nay. Yeah. Ashpeak. And then became Red Heart. Became Red Heart.

That's your married name. And then became Ashpeak. Oh, I'm thinking about my... Anyway, let's keep on going. Admit your wrongness. No. I want you to take another trip down memory lane with a memory that none of you have, but one.

That was a weird way to say that. That was a really weird way to say it. He's dead. He says in the morgue. I'm sorry. I like to say that Every time something comes in here I think he's dead Smoking

Yeah That's why we brought him down here We knew that To the morgue Just testing you We hear the sounds Of a cart Moving slowly

The murmur And shouts Of a large crowd The scene opens up From the rear of the cart And we see Iron wrapped Moving slowly, the murmur and shouts of a large crowd. The scene opens up from the rear of the cart, and we see iron-wrapped wooden wheels scraping and bumping over polished stone. Slowly rising up, we see that whatever the cart carries is covered in a simple, heavy cloth, then bound by multiple ropes crisscrossing over the top.

The crowd comes into view on either side of the cart. Orcs. Dozens and dozens of them. This simple two-wheeled cart is being drawn through a magnificent central plaza by two orcs who follow a limping figure clad in black. All three of them bark at the crowd in front of them to make way. As the orcs park, we can see that the plaza ends in a massive stone wall, which bars entrance to the rise of a breathtaking eight-level city that rises up a mountainside, granting the illusion that the top level would allow you to reach out and touch the sky.

Etched on the city's wall at the end of the square are enormous dwarven characters that could be read from half a mile away. They announce the city's name. Ergier. Oh, what? Oh, wow. The cart comes to a stop in front of an almost regimental line of elite orc soldiers imagine even though it's an elite line of soldiers their armor is mismatched and

their weapons are mismatched but they still look badass at their center a fearsome orc stands apart from the rest he's covered head to toe in considerable steel armor, from the horned skull helm down to the spiked boot stained with blood. At his side rests a warhammer that, with a quick glance, appears to be priceless. This is Grask Uldeth, mighty chieftain of the Empty Hand tribe. And by extension, the ruler of Rogir. Oh, this is amazing. He steps forward to face

the man clad in black and his eyes pitch downward. The Deathbringer in the flesh. He seems to linger on flesh for a moment in a disturbing way. I had to see this myself. Dalgraith Deathbringer looks beaten and exhausted,

the skin on his neck blackened and bruised. He raises haunted eyes to the giant orc and manages a curt nod. Your grace. Grask Uldath chuckles. You're not in the perfumed hall of some pink-skinned fairy lord. I am no king.

He approaches. Sorry, I had cheese for breakfast. Just a mountain of cheese. This is highly embellishing. Cheese omelette. He approaches Dalgrith and lowers his voice. Have you completed the contract you made with my chief advisor?

See for yourself. Dalgrith motions to the rear of the cart and spits an order back at the two orcs hauling it Cut the lashes The orcs growl at the dwarf and look to Grask He returns the look and nods At that they begin cutting the ties Old Death himself walks to the rear of the cart And tears away the heavy cloth in one swift motion

Flies buzz above the cart's contents The head of a young adult black dragon. Aldeth takes this in for a moment. I'd heard the reputation of the Deathbringer had dimmed of late.

He begins to walk back around and notices Dalgrit's surprised expression. Do not underestimate me, Deathbringer. He begins to walk back around and notices Dalgrith's surprised expression. Do not underestimate me, Deathbringer. I have ears in Ustalav as well, for that is why you find yourself in Belkson, is it not? Dalgrith does not respond. No matter. You have proven yourself to be as ruthless as ever. He walks past Algrith and back to his line of orc soldiers.

Which reminds me, didn't I hear you had a companion for this particular job? Can I assume you killed her to keep the reward for yourself? No, you... no. She fell fighting the dragon. The beast did not die easily. And no, the whole reward is not mine. She's got a family, children. It's why she took the job.

Her share will pass to them. The orc chieftain sneers. I wondered if you would make my decision difficult, Deathbringer. I should have known it would be easy. For you see, he raises his voice so many can hear, the empty hand tribe does not pay

the weak. A cheer goes up from the crowd. Dalgrith, incredulous, begins a stunned argument, but his words are drowned out by the raging orcs. Silence! Grask yells, and the crowd simmers down. Dalgrace speaks. We had a contract!

Grask pulls a scroll from his pocket and makes a big show of tearing it into pieces. You have my permission to leave this city, dwarf. Best of luck in your future endeavors. The crowd cheers once again as Grask turns to head into the city. Before he gets more than a few feet, though, Dalgrith's voice cuts through the crowd. I should have known you were no different than any common orc. This stops Grask in his tracks. He turns. His face darkens.

Dalgrith continues, raising his voice even louder. I'd heard Ergea was a different sort of city where a marketplace could thrive and orcs could make more money than they ever could raid in poor rural villages. What happens to that marketplace when it's discovered that the

empty hand's word is worth naught but a bucket of piss? What'll happen to your legacy when these pink skins leave your city and take their business elsewhere? Grask thinks for a moment, then grins and laughs.

Ha ha ha ha! Deathbringer, they told me about you. You drive a hard bargain. I'll tell you what. You can have your payment, but in exchange, I'm taking back what's mine. He walks towards Dalgrith quickly and barks in order to the two orcs that were manning the cart. Grab his arms! The orcs respond, grabbing Dalgrith violently as he struggles and the orc chieftain closes in, pulls open Dalgrith's coat, and rummages through his pockets until he finds what he's looking for, a small token with a sigil of the empty hand visible on the front.

token with a sigil of the empty hand visible on the front. He smiles and steps back. Dalgrith's expression turns to abject fear. This token allows him safe passage through Belkson. Without it, the first passing orc outriders would kill him on the spot. He would be dead within a day. His voice sounds so small. You can't. I can. Pay the Deathbringer! He calls to his men. Two elite soldiers begin to move forward with the chests.

Dalgrith begins stammering. Keep my share, then. Just give me the share for my companion. Her children, my lord. I am no lord. His voice booms across the marble plaza. The silence is deafening as the soldiers drop the chest of coins in front of Dalgrith. Grask resumes shouting loud enough to be heard by all. I've made a deal with this dwarf, and he has rid us of an evil that we have long endured.

I've paid him fairly for his services, and thus, mocking the fancy language of the pinkskins, our business is concluded. We no longer have an agreement. He looks Dalgrith straight in the eyes. Standing before you is a common dwarf, alone in the plaza of sky, in the oraza of sky, in the orc city of Argyr.

He pauses for a moment so all present can allow the reality to sink in. Split the spoils amongst yourselves, but bring me his weapons. He turns his back on Dalgrith and makes for the gates of the city. I want them for my war. The blood-curdling war cry that erupts through the plaza is deafening as a massive orcs charge Dalgrith Deathbringer. Blackout. That was awesome, Joe.

Wow. Oh, man. That's really good, Joe. Wow. Thanks, buddy. Wow. Man, these fucking orcs. You really blindsided me with that flashback.

Was it the flash? It was the flash. It's always the flash that gets you. it the flash you it was the flash it's always the flash that gets you flash the flash yeah when you recover from the flash it's like

oh I'm back then that's okay you're blindsided for four rounds yeah there is one door left that last time you left

housed half a dozen oh no excuse me almost a dozen orcs is that crack in the ceiling leading to past this door this big do I say steel

door I think and there are two passages out one you know leads back one you don't know I think you said iron but I don't remember that's our priority but we Metro will run down and open the door. Yeah, so...

Dogwraith is watching eagerly. You open the door, and it's empty. Empty? No trace of blood. Certainly nothing like the previous room. Um... Just empty.

Baron. Dogwraith. previous room um just empty baron dog with jimmy come quickly what about me do you have survival skills uh yeah we can do it we'll all hustle up there we should also do a uh heel check on the other room to see if like all of the orcs were rounded up in there. It doesn't make sense, but it's worth checking. Are there bodies in there or is it just bloody smears? Mostly bloody smears, but you can see like some parts. Yeah. Chunks mashed down like it was

a whoever did whatever was done in there made a show that yeah. I don't like the look of this, Metro. I think we might have lost them. They might have escaped, but they might also be back in their clutches of the fire giants.

They wouldn't have killed them. All they need them is slave labor. Let's not speculate until we have evidence. Let me see if I can find anything with my investigative skills. Oh, not bad. 25 for a survival check for footprints or anything missing or amiss.

This is the empty room or the blood room? The empty room. The empty room. And then I'm going to do a heal check and whoever else can do it on the other room. You can see the footprints of the orcs. It looks like they were all brought together really really close and then dragged out.

I think we found out what happened. They took the rest for slaves and killed the others, for example. Dragged into the other room or dragged out into the bigger room? They're dragged into the bigger room since that's really the only way out. And then from there, as you get deeper into the cavern, their footsteps get mingled with everything else. So they must have fallen in line at a certain point. Damn it. Well, we can't pursue anything else, and I reckon none of us are ready for another fight.

We've got to find a way to rest here. We gotta blow that ceiling. That's what we gotta do. Break it down. Collapse the wall. But you told me you saw something on the other side. Darting around in the dark. Ready to sink its teeth into us. You reckon we can sleep on the other side of that when Metra seems exhausted of her

spells capable of teleporting us out of here to safe rest? I think it's our best option. I'm happy to take first watch. Metra should sleep the whole night. I'll stay up as long as I can. We'll keep an eye out, but I can't see her staying on this side of that wall

skid pointed out to earlier that we have the spike still too yeah we still have the oh that's great spike that i can't remember what it's called but the spike that spike tent yeah the spike tent thing whatever it is that creates the camouflage right um well that was my idea because we were talking we went out for a beer like before we started recording yeah and i was saying that what we should do and i'm loathe to do this just because of the riffing that might that might take place but we could take it and put it like in the middle of the the shit room and it would i think it would look like a big pile of shit and we could we could sleep there the The smell would be terrible,

but we probably wouldn't be bothered. I believe that beer made you 40 minutes late to recording and next time that happens, don't invite Troy, but let me know and I'll be there. Let him stay here by himself. We sat in silence. Well, we really were. We were hoping that Troy would show up

and just no one would be here. Guys, I thought we had a date. Guys. My counterargument to Skid is that that shit pile is probably one of the most frequented spots in the entire volcano. Yes, that's true. But no one will want to investigate. They might notice the odiogs are gone, though. The odiogs are gone, but...

I feel like... Do you have an odiogs are gone, though. Well, I feel... The odiogs are gone, but... I feel like... Do you have an odiog disguise kit? I feel like collapsing the wall is an immediate priority. Are you guys not feeling that way? Yeah. No, we should, yeah. If we collapse it, do we then have to go beyond it? I can't remember how this works.

Yeah. We have to be on the other side. You could always teleport back in somewhere if needed, but I don't think... But we have to rest on the other side of the collapse. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. I think we have to rest on the other side of the collapse that's what i'm saying yeah i think we have to rest on the other side of the collapse still use the spike you know up right up against the collapse yeah it would just look like more rubble yeah and if a patrol came down from the upper floor to investigate the collapse that's that's my concern but i did go up kind of a ways and i didn't see any particular i remember

like 300 feet or something yeah it was i remember it being like far enough that like sure they might feel like a rumble or something but i don't know that they would know immediately that there was a collapse and that they had to run down there it might be better to like do a quick perception for like a a little sconce a little a little bit of a bit of an impression in a wall leading up there. Because I think if we're right against that rubble, they'd still want to investigate it. And I feel like the giants would try to throw stuff away. So it's a good idea.

Yeah, of course. We need to find someplace perfect to hide. Well, we might not be able to find someplace perfect. I'm just saying that like if no other place is available, then that can be a last resort. I could also carve out some of the wall, and we could go into the little nook and plant the spike and see if it makes it look like rubble. How do you carve out the wall? A little spell called Disintegrate. Oh, yeah, that's perfect.

There we go. Yeah, if we could do it in a little cave in the wall, put the spike in and just kind of cover up the entrance. Right, and if they ran past us to investigate. So we could take a drawing of it and make sure. Can we tell the spike what to look like, or just does it look like we remember? I don't think so. I think it mimics the environment. Yeah, it mimics the environment.

Okay, great. So they'll just run past a place they always know is a wall they can't get through. That's really good. Yeah. Thune says, I have seen tunnels that lead to nowhere. Those would good be. Those would good. Those would good be.

Those would good. Oh, my God. Those would be good places to rest, but that would mean we are backtracking, and that does not seem wise. I believe you are correct. Dealing with this ceiling is a priority. We ought to get on the other side of this thing. Also, I'm bleeding profusely. I'm injured as well.

I'm hurt myself. Let's get to rest and cut these giants off from each other. We tend to ignore these things until the last possible minute. And I just want to say, I want to come out against that policy. But that's because we're so extremely brave, Jim. That's right. We're strong and we don't care about knife wounds. We don't fear death.

Nope. Not us. Just bring it. Bring it. Yeah, let's's go let's do it i think skater was suggesting that we heal immediately yeah just for character reasons sure all right so do your healing off air um i'm sure you'll bring yourselves up to max and use all your wands and spells uh thun by the the way, untouched. That's amazing. Ran in solo against those six hellhounds. What do you guys want to do?

Hey, Thune, I got to say, I kind of obliquely threatened you before. I want to apologize for that. You really, you acquitted yourself well in that fight. Oh, well, thank you, Mr. Hardy. I'm glad you approve of my tactics. As I can see, you are quite the warrior yourself. Any praise you give me, I take to heart.

All right. You're one of the good ones. And he's still keeping his good eye on him. He's not, he doesn't trust him really anymore. He's still going to keep an eye out for him, but he definitely wanted to praise him in the moment. Let's get to the crack in the ceiling. Let's get to it. Crickety, crickety, crickety, crack.

Yeah, we've been waiting for this for a while. Weeks. You said it was supported by beams, right? Yes, by beams. There's stuff in the ceiling. What's your name? Baron rolled a pretty good stone cutting on it. You can tell that you can either just do physical damage on it.

You can try and use some sort of spells. I also have engineering, if that helps. Or I already did well enough on the other deck. Yeah, you did well enough to know you can try and warp the wood. What about just a fireball? Fireball might be enough. Why don't we... You know, you can tell that there are...

These are big, big-ass heavy beams. It might take multiple fireballs, and that's loud. Why don't we dig out the area that Metra suggested with the disintegrate spell first? I have two disintegrates left. Yeah, so let's find a place down the hallway we can run to quickly after this thing breaks. And then plant the

spike there first. And then we can run there and jump in and hide and go to sleep. I will say this. You also think that you might be able to with really fine hands disable it so that jump in and hide and go to sleep. I will say this. You also think that you might be able to, uh, really fine hands, disable it so that it will collapse on its own.

Ah, interesting. Yes. And that is something that perhaps soon could help. Yes. What's his disabled device bonus. Um, he doesn't have any.

That's why I said, perhaps. Well, um he doesn't have any perhaps well how about we make we do a grant says we make the disintegrate uh hole and plant the spike and then i can disintegrate slash scorching ray some of those beams oh that could work so like 20 feet away so with one or 25 feet away within everyone's single move range increment right does that make sense so we can sure as soon as we start everything and do we get the sense that like we just have to get one or two beams and the whole thing is going to uh just topple uh just domino or do we have to do like over a range of 50 feet? Do we have to do separate beams? No, it looks like if you could knock down at least two of the support beams,

it'll come down. But like I said, these are like tree trunk big. Yeah. Let's all just get in the hole and I can just step outside of it. I can also try disabling it first before we go to that because it'll be quieter and we'll see if it works. Not if I'm like, you know, I can crawl try disabling it first before we go to that because it'll be quieter. And we'll see if it works. Not if I'm like, you know, I can crawl up on the ceiling, try to disable it.

When it starts to go, I'll jump away. What is the radius of the area that will collapse based off of that stone cutting? Like, do we know how far away from it we have to be to avoid the fallen? Do we know how far away from it we have to be to avoid the fallen? You're going to want to be way on the other side of the second door of the airlock. Which is how far away from those beams? Oh, 40, 50 feet away. I guess we make our door 50 feet away.

But it's going to collapse the whole area, right? In between the two doors. Including the passageway leading to the barracks. Yeah. So we just go by that second door, find one of those beams, and start there. Yeah. So we have our nail hammered down a safe distance away. Yeah, disintegrate a kind of cave for us.

Uh-huh. Let's see how much space we get. And it definitely works that way. Like, it'll hollow out a sleepable hole for four adventures. Five. Five adventures. Five, Delruth.

Doing your sleeping outside. The raid simply disintegrates as much as a 10-foot cube of non-living matter. So that's not a lot, actually. Oh. But, you know, if it looks like a boulder sticking out of a wall, that's fine. Sure. I mean...

Better than a boulder standing in the middle of the floor. Yeah. Yeah. Agreed. Agreed. The closer we are to the collapse, the better. We could just look like debris. Right. That's what I thought.

But they might start digging into it, but I thought debris. Why don't we collapse and see what happens? Yes, that's what I think. Just do it. Just be ready with the spike. All right, Dalbert, do you want to try doing a disabled device first? Yeah. All right.

Oh, boy. Now, my question is, so I want to take 20. So basically, I want to know, like, is there a cost to failure? Or is it like you just kind of keep attempting, and then eventually you figure out you either can do it or you can't do it? Or is it like if you fail, you could get caught under the rubble? Like, is there a- You certainly could if you really-

But you'd have to do, like, an extreme failure. So it does need to be rolled. Yeah. Okay. Why don't you just let me scorch your head? Because I don't think your scorching ray is going to do the job, and it's going to be loud. Is it really loud? Well, that's what he said.

I'm just saying. Even with the fireball. The collapse is going to be louder than any Scorching Ray. The collapse is going to be really loud. That's what I'm saying. Like a fireball, if I have to go to fireball. I think the problem is how many Scorching Rays we have to do. Exactly.

You know what? I mean, I get three in one casting. You know who I believe in? I believe in Joe, and I believe in our old buddy, Tiago. Oh, Tiago! You've been called on the carpet. And if Tiago lets us down now, he'll be blocked on every social media account. I'll never speak to him again.

Ras Matang. Block him. All right, I'm going to... Let me give it a shot. Hold on, Mitra. Before you start using the rest of your spells. Let me just... I think I see a loose rot there by that one beam. Let me climb up and see if I can't just give it a nudge.

Fuck me. Tiago! 27. Oh, 27. Yeah. So you get up there there you start screwing around with it and you see it you're like i got it and so you realize like once you do this you're not gonna have a lot of time to run out there but you trigger the collapse like pulling a pin on a grenade yeah it takes 2d4 rounds to collapse which will be six rounds which gives you enough time to get back safely. It starts rumbling over.

He's like, it's gone. He comes back. He's like, go, go, go, go. You dive into the cave. It's also just go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go. It collapses the entire tunnel way, blocks the barracks. You think it would take them maybe days to get out of there. That's huge.

That is huge. With a full effort. And it also cuts off any access between the farming level and the grinder. What's the grinder? It's a dating app that's used primarily But if we cut off their access completely Who knows how long they'll hold up Can I just say how much

How much I've loved Skid's deep deep Knowledge of all dating apps Describing it against no one He's open for all opportunities I had a brief period of my life Where I studied them closely Deep, deep knowledge of all dating apps. Discouraging mates against no one. He's open for all opportunities. I had a brief period of my life where I studied them closely. That's very positive.

I like that. You know, that ledger that you found where whoever was lieutenant on duty made notes of who passes between the farm levels and the grinder, the current number of giants occupying the barracks, what tribe they belong to. And that's where you first heard about the grinder, the current number of giants occupying the barracks, what tribe they belong to. And that's where you first heard about the grinder. And so it makes sense to you that the grinder is this next level. Yeah. Dagwit, you got a quick peek into that next room there when you just saw some dark shadows

that got the fuck out. Yeah. But now you have triggered the collapse, cut yourselves off from the first level as well. But you feel pretty safe here to put down a spike. Oh, yeah. I mean, what a day. What a day. What a day.

A solid first day. I mean, we started this day outside of the mountain. Yeah, this is so many episodes since we've rested. And I'll let you know, that could have easily been over 20 episodes. Wow. To get to this point. Just based off where we turned or... Oh, yeah, yeah.

We made every right turn. Kind of, literally. I'm not saying that, but I will say that. Just to get here. As short a time as possible. I mean, I think we probably could have gotten more intel maybe if we'd gone elsewhere. We definitely could have disabled more things. We would have gotten more experience.

But we got a pretty good amount of experience, I feel like. I think we should teleport back. One very cool thing about this book is there is absolutely no way any adventuring party could play this book five the same way. Absolutely no way. That's cool. Which is kind of cool. That's cool. Which is kind of cool.

That's cool. I haven't seen that in other books. I mean, they all end up being relatively linear. Obviously, book four, there's a number of different ways you could go about sabotaging the camp. But this one, it is totally different. But the whole sabotage thing is a very clear metric. Everybody is going after that, you know, which way you do it can differ. But you're going after the same exact goal.

So you guys want to rest yeah please you begin to rest I would say you know you do it immediately and within minutes fire giant patrols come from the next level can we see through the spike

yeah yeah yeah on the top of cathedral Fire Giant patrols come from the next level. Can we see through the spike? Yeah. Can we see these things go past? Oh, you remember the spike on the top of Minderhall's Cathedral? What was it? Not wolves. The stone giant. Bears. The bears came patting. I just imagined that.

Oh, we fought the dragon up on top on the roof. Yeah. And Della went face to face with the dragon. You said it was a Fire Giant patrol? Mm-hmm. I just remember a picture of us trying to sleep and just seeing like the lights emanating from their their hair just illuminating inside of this and feeling like this uncanny feeling like we should be seen and just rushing by it's terrifying oh yeah that's how i feel when

i'm actually camping in a tent like anytime i hear something outside, I'm like, I wonder if the bear will decide to kill me tonight. It's just like, what the fuck was that? If I clean the cheese off that picnic table. I melted so much cheese on that picnic table. So much fondue. I think I scraped all the fondue off. Sure. This is why, again, and I will keep telling you this this is why you should

never camp at the zoo because that you'll keep running into that problem that's a good that's that's good advice kid but my kids love it and that counts for everyone out there listening too that's not just for joe not just people who love cheese that's everyone not just people who love cheese i just try not to camp period i do I do. Yeah, I call that. My ancestors worked very hard to develop indoor plumbing. Generations of Italian-American plumbers. We know them well. They fought giant gorillas. They've climbed up construction sites just so that we could all have indoor plumbing.

Isn't it my British ancestry? Were they like Sir John Crapper and all of them that would have developed indoor plumbing. Isn't it my British ancestry that there were, like Sir John Crapper and all of them that would have developed indoor plumbing? But we're talking about Mario, Matthew. Could you just let the joke live for once, you fucking asshole. I was trying to glaze over your racism. I'm sorry,

my racism? It was Skid who told that entire story. I want for the record it was my racism. But Graham was throwing spaghetti at you while he said that. But please. Yeah, he loves it it was my racism. But Graham was throwing spaghetti at you while he said that. But please. Yeah, he loves it. Look at him. Yeah, look at him. Look at him.

He can't get enough. That is not accurate at all. Oh, my dickers. Troy, get it right. It was linguine. It was lasagna. It was a linguine. So let's see if it was done.

See if it's stuck. It sticks to his face. It's done. Maybe that's done. It sticks to an Italian. It's done. It sticks to an Italian. It's done. Matthew is about as much fun as a dry kitchen wall. So I would throw pasta at him all day long.

Imagine if that was the test. If you throw it and it sticks to an Italian, it's ready to eat. That's an old lifestyle. Does it work with meatballs? Why would you? With a meatball, Troy, you're crazy. I'm out of control. Fire Giant Patrol comes up, and they're like,

what is going on? You can tell they're ready. Weapons are out. They're looking, and they're muttering to themselves about how they know about you guys. They don't mention you by name, but they say something about a team. You hear talk about you guys. They don't mention you by name, but they say something about a team. You hear talk about a team.

They must have triggered this, meaning you guys. We must alert the others, and they go back up. I think we need to make item number one on the to-do list, go to the water cooler, and talk up ourselves individually by name. Yeah, yeah. Use the mask. Do enlarge person and just go up there like, I't mess with him i'll just give up i think we should all give up what do you think have you heard about this fume cake guy oh boy thank you i think i think at the very uh least we should at

least talk about the true leader of the group Thun so that they single him out in combat oh no he rose up he rose up to fight us all but as time passes and you're waiting there and you're ready to go no other fire giants come

so feel as if you've completed your ruse. Nice. And you can rest, taking watches, obviously. Are you guys chatting about anything? What are you talking about here as you prepare to enter the next level, enter the grinder, whatever the hell that is? Now, I want to ask you guys this.

You probably feel pretty confident after handling that first level. But the more you think about it, you also know that this was primarily a farm level a level meant to feed right um a level meant to agriculture you know kind of uh let the giants practice with small folk do we know does thun know if there's any access to the outside in the upper levels or is it all are all the exits like this is where it's not basic knowledge of the layout ends with this tour okay well i even he hadn't even been in this that room that you just left i think after experiencing skier guard uh then even though most of the people in this party weren't there uh dalgryth was at least you know aware of what was going on there at the end um we understand how much things ratchet up and how these encampments or whatever these are if

they're associated like get harder and harder as you go along so i think we understand and we were never ready for anything going on i think dalgryth and baron give each other the most hardcore strike team delta look yeah it's really it's super intense it's very intense and then we look at metra and uh jimmer and uh thune and it's basically a no talking until we're done resting look. None. We're not going to let you trick us, LaValley. Okay. Unless Joe really wants to talk, but that's what I was thinking. Kind of wanted to talk, but

passes the time. Grant's probably right. It is probably a very dangerous area to start talking, having a conversation. Really chit-chat. But what if we whisper? Really? What if we whisper? I'm bored, Barry. I'm bored.

Can we play cards? Mitchell's asleep. This is the most Joe Dogger thing I've ever heard. Can we do something? I brought a card game. That's habits. He pulls out a love letter. Just a quick round. As soon as we... He pulls out a love letter. Just a quick round.

As soon as we... All right, you be the handmaid. Well, I'll be really tired from a long flight to go to another city to tour, and then Joe will just be in the middle of everyone just relaxing and being quiet and luxuriant. He's like, let's play a complicated board game. It's the only way to pass the time. A little complicated board game. It's the only way to pass the time. A little complicated board games. So the look that Sheriff Barron gives everyone is, let's rest. Radio silence.

Let's hold off. Let's see. Those giants could come back any minute. So eight hours passes. Actually, even longer, because with your watches, that's going to extend your time to probably closer to 11 or 12 hours for you all to get your full rest. Yeah. Nice.

No other patrols come down. That's strange. They give up rather easily. Does the patrol that walk past us return when they feel like they can't open it? Or is there still a group of giants right by where we cause the cave-in you if you like you've been there long enough in silence and really

concentrate you can hear giants talking on the other side of the rubble in the direction of the barracks but it's like so deep you can't tell if they're a mile away or a hundred feet away right but i'm just saying the giants that you said were running past us towards the rubble. You don't hear them talking up the hallway. Okay, got it. Twelve hours passes, you are fully, or not fully healed, but healed

up to your... I'm fully healed. Oh yeah, because you healed a little bit off air. But you get all your powers and spells back, which is really good. Especially for Metro I haven't had these for a while I've forgotten all the things I can do Now what do you want to do? Do you want to chat?

Let's send Doggerith up first to see what that thing was he saw Let me take another look There was something up there I was kidding, you really want to go? Of course I want to go We have some invisibility spells now, right? I'm pouring out my skull. For 12 hours I've been sitting here.

No one wants to play a single game. No one will play Crazy H with me. I'm sitting here reading the rules. I'm reading the rules to Gloomhaven on Max. I got a PDF before we left. I'm dreaming of the day we could play. That actually has happened, right, Joe? Oh, yeah.

I was so excited about gloomhaven i downloaded the pdf read the whole thing played it once it was like this this is a lot of work and we never played it again no we want to we just haven't had the time pc now uh oh it is c version oh shit yeah all right we'll burn the board game burn it ritualistically no uh dog race is just gonna you, you guys all heard it before, so he's just going to reiterate that there's something up there, some creature. I don't know if the fire giants are aware of it or not, if it's one of their pets, denizens, or if it's a natural denizen of this cave system,

but it was like I could see it, but I couldn't see it at the same time. And you said that was the only way forward. You saw no other passageway to the left or right that could make us avoid this creature. That's right, Baron. I'm 100% certain there's no chance I made a mistake. Could I... I don't think I ever rolled a check on the creature. I don't think I ever rolled a check on the creature.

I don't know how much I saw or didn't see, if there was an ability that made it something I couldn't see. You know, Dalgrith has seen a lot of magical creatures. I wonder if there's any chance that it was a magical creature, if he could roll a check for that sort of ability, or just ignore the whole, he didn't see enough. It really, really happened quickly. It was like, as you were standing there looking, you realized, like, you needed to get out of there, that maybe it saw you. Okay.

Do you want me to try to spellcraft that ring, by the way? Oh, yeah. Yeah, like, you wake up, and Dogwrith, like, a little boy, is just staring at you. I'll roll the eight. I'll roll the eight. He's like, Monan, how you feeling? I think you have a better spellcraft than I do. I'm a plus five.

You want some coffee? I'm a plus five. Here's my ring. Yeah, the eight. Oh, wait, Moanin', how you feeling? I think you have a better spell card than I do. I'm a plus five. You want some coffee? I'm a plus five. Here's my ring. Yeah, the eight. Oh, wait, no, we should just do independently. The eight will be better, I think. No, we'll just do independently. You have two of these rings now, too.

We have two of them, yeah. You go first. We can spell card for one and the other if we fail. All right, that'll do it. 22. Nice. 22, that'll do. Yeah!

22 will do. Nicely done Matthew That was on my Brand new Antique Copper D20 That my mother-in-law Bought

Was that the Die your mother Got for you Mother-in-law Mother-in-law So Thank you For my mother-in-law

Die your mother Got for you That really got Troy It certainly looks like He really likes that one. I'm scared that one's... This is so out of nowhere. I'm dying. It's so demeaning.

I'm dying. It is a ring of cold resistance minor. Oh, how useful. Okay. How useful here in this fire giant volcano. A ring of energy resistance granting 10 points of cold resistance to the wearer. You know it to be very expensive for one thing. For another thing, it just tells you that's how well prepared these fire giant lieutenants are.

They know that any worthy adversary is just going to try and blast them with cold. But they've got protection against it. Oh, right. That makes sense. Make sure you check all the enemies for rings. Yep. Always do.

Yeah. Always. First on my list. Dalgrith. Is he married? Is he married? That's exactly what I was thinking. Well, no.

She's a widow. He must not be that bad. I don't see no rings on those fingers. Dalgrith. Thune. Who am I? Hey, I'm Malagatari! So cute.

It was so aggressive until you leaned over your mic. You leaned over his computer. You put a finger in his face. I don't know why. Grantee. Grantee panties. I don't know why. Grantee. Grantee panties. Dabra Thune, who among you is more

fleet of foot and sneakier? I really don't know who's better at going ahead and looking at these things. I'm literally a shadow. If I had to bet money on it, I'd say shadow. I'm literally a shadow. I have more dark vision than any of you. Well, if you'd like to go first, feel free, but be aware. There's something up. It's me. I'm literally a shadow. I have more dark vision than any of you. Well, if you'd like to go first, feel free, but be aware.

There's something up there. Give me the willies. It could see me, and I couldn't see it. I could feel it pouring into me. Metro, you can move like no one else in darkness I've ever seen. If you're willing to go ahead, I'd love to have you do reconnaissance for us. All right. What's the light situation out in the hallway?

Dim? Dark. Oh, it's dark. Dark, dark. Dark. I'm going to check the in dim light or darkness option. I said dark! And, okay, yeah.

So I'll try to stealth up. Stealth up to the, you know, in the direction that Dogwrath went when he did his first peek of Rooney. Are we going to, like, do we want to, like, me go ahead a little bit, call you up, me go ahead a little more, call you up, or do you want me to go up all the way and check for it? If you can really hide from them, I'd love to know what these creatures are we're fighting against. I don't know if we can hide from them. We'll stay behind you. All right. We'll stay, like, 50, you know, 40 feet behind you.

50. 50. Let's take 50 50 but that's more than two move actions away all right 20 on the first stealth check okay i thought you could slip in the shadows there that was with the shadow slip that was with the chest garbage roll um next one slightly less garbage, but 25, 25. Okay. Uh, as you get deeper into the tunnel, uh, you realize, and it's something you probably

would have realized overnight, but I just didn't tell you that the stench is gone. That, that those doors provided some sort of airlock, but the collapse has killed off the stench as well. Beautiful. So you no longer have to roll Fortitude Saves. Good. Okay, and I'm going to say that that is enough for you to get up to near where Dalgrith could peer into the next room.

And you can see pretty far in darkness, right? 120. 120 feet. Okay. See the room? Oh, wow. The Dalgoth saw. I don't know if I described it enough, so I'll describe it again, but

rectangular room separated into north and south by a row of angled spikes in the floor. Oh, right. This was the choke point. Yes. The north wall holds a portcullis that is currently down.

And to the west and the east are closed wooden doors. There are also two fire giants in the room standing outside of the portcullis. That's funny. The in these the adventure paths like they

always they always bury the lead they describe everything in the room except like oh and by the way there's two dragons right that's they'd never mentioned that also to round it off sitting atop each certain death young adult red dragon. It really ties the room together, that young adult red dragon. Those spikes are three feet long, spaced less than a foot apart.

So, you know, trying to get through those is going to be tricky. And they look like they're edged on one side like crude swords. That is what you see. Do I see anything like the four-legged creature that Joe saw? You do not. All you see in the room, in terms of enemies, is two fire giants. This is a fluke. It's nothing.

A fluke is the most common fish in the sea. It's a land fluke. So I will... The ever-rare land fluke. A luke. I'll wave the others forward and I'll whisper what I saw to them. Okay, I'm gonna put you guys on the map

while you roleplay. I think she's waving us forward, man. I can't tell Okay, I'm going to put you guys on the map for you. Role play. I think she's waving us forward, man. I can't tell, it's so dark. I can't see. Is she saying go back? You all have dark vision. I do, but it's only 60 feet.

I don't see. Jimmer, Jimmer, why don't you stay in the back? You're the least stealthy of us, even if you're the strongest. That's true. God damn it, Jimmer. Sorry. Keep it down the strongest. That's true! I mean... God damn it, Jimmer. Sorry. Keep it down, boy. That's true, I meant to say.

You're so strong as an ox, but... Anyway, I'm not going to finish that, because I don't want you to hit me with that big, dumb sword of yours. Sorry. All right. Apologies. You made the most powerful weapon of the day. Yes, yes, yes, yes. God damn it, Dalgorth.

All right, you, me, and Thune are stealthy, so let's move forward quietly. So should we all roll stealth as we get up there? Yeah. To get up towards Metro, sure. Yeah, and I think Jimmer's behind us a little bit. How tall are those spikes? Three feet.

So the giants could easily hop over them. You think that the giants could carefully step over them, but any of you, kind of tricky. 28 for Baron on stealth. 28 for stealth. Okay. Jimmer? I'm behind all them. Again, he is.

Okay. My nine barely matters. Your nine barely matters. What about Dalgrth? 27. 27. And Thun got a 26. Good for Thun. So Jimmer's in the back

Why are you so dismissive of Thun all the time Matthew I wasn't I was just doing Christian Bale Oh good for Thun Oh I got it got it So we'll say Jimmer's in the back there Knowing that he's the least stealthy of the crew But the rest of you are so stealthy. You don't see the fire giants

move at all. They're just kind of standing there looking around. Alert! Metro, we gotta jump fast. Royal guards! Do your thing. Which thing? Keep them where they are. Don't let them get out of the room. Baron, if you can, don't

let them call out. Don't let anyone hear them. I can cast Silence in betwixt both of them if you cast your hungry pit, Della. Shall we? I'm not Della. I'm Della. Jesus Christ. It's been so many episodes. It was really insensitive.

Metra, well, if you hadn't named us. You just told me my daughter's face ripped off her body and surgically attached to our greatest enemy. You know, Della and Metra, well, if you hadn't named... You just told me my daughter's face ripped off her body and surgically attached to our greatest enemy. You know, Della and Metra sound more like... You said it while you were drinking. God damn it. Do you need to be relieved of command, Sheriff?

Too many mimosas this morning, I think. This is a grief day. Could you imagine just in that little, like, area we carved out that just Sheriffon is just pouring mimosas? Where'd you get that fresh orange juice from? We had a long day. We deserve a brunch. Yes.

Okay, so can we do a, like, maybe, can we roll? What do you want to do for the surprise round? I always forget how this works. I want to roll for initiative. You roll for initiative to start if you're ready to go. And then we'll see what we see. Yeah, let's do it. I mean, I don't want this to get old, but do we want to just dimension door ourselves over to the other side?

Yep. That's pretty good. We got something fast. We can't get caught behind these barricades, and I can't do much. So then I won't do the silence as a thing. But, yeah, I like the dimension door all of us there. What do you mean you won't do the silence as a thing but yeah i like the dimension door all of us there what do you mean you won't do the silence as a thing because it'll affect everyone or into it yeah to the silence then the spellcaster will be yeah is the room is the room itself lit no it's lit as fuck

so how are they seeing you don't know maybe they can't see. Oh, I think they can. I think they have some sort of goggles or something. All right. So I shall vanish Dalgreath before we go. Wow. Okay. And what is your plan to try and dimension door right up into their business? Yeah. I mean, I guess we will end up over on the right side.

Where the door is. So like on the other side of the spikes, but to the right side in front of the door, to the stage right of the giants, their left. Their left, yes. Okay. I mean, the area between them and the portcullis seems a little too narrow, plus it would take them time to raise it anyway, so I figure... We can put Jimmer in optimal position and Dalgrith will be invisible to get around.

Plus the area in front of the Sparks might be trapped for some reason. Best to skip it all and get behind them as fast as possible. Okay. So it'll be first round, vanish Dalgrith. Same thing as last time. That'll be your surprise. We'll call that the Metro. Assuming that they

don't know what's going on. The Metro Special. It's the Metro system. It's way more popular in Europe. Not so much in America, but it's way more efficient in the long run. Going to stay in the same sort of setup that you have here? I think the idea is

to put Jimmer closest to me. Put Metra in Melee.. The idea is to put Metra in melee. Yeah, I think it's Metra in the back and Dalgrith, Jimmer and Thune or Dalgrith and Jimmer up front and then Thune and Baron. Yeah, so Dalgrith there

and then Metra there. So we're touching all of us. Okay. Oh man. And Dalgrith is invisible. And Dalgrith is invisible andragraph is invisible that's the kicker invisiboo okay and you're 10

feet away from the giants yep or the the first giant there yep giant on the right giant on the right eastern side of the room oh man I feel unsettled for some reason I know there's something eastern side of the room. Oh, man. I feel unsettled for some reason.

I know. This is too easy. Something feels very wrong. Don't forget about that creature. Something does seem a little wrong, doesn't it? Maybe it's an illusion. Well, they can see. Oh, it could be an illusion. Did you roll a perception check before you did this?

I didn't. No, no, you didn't. Wow. Well, I actually thought didn't. No, we didn't. Wow. Well, I actually thought of it and checked my ruler, and I could not see past those barricades. No, he described the whole room, so I assumed he was kidding. No, no, no, that's not how it works, Matthew. All right, roll for initiative.

Oh, dear. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. I rolled earlier when Oh, boy. Oh, boy. I rolled earlier when we said surprise round. And I rolled terribly. What'd you get there, Dalgrith?

17. 17. Okay. Metra. 19. 19 for Metra. 18 for Thune. Baron?

30. 30? Ooh. Oh, there you go, dude. There you go, gunslinger. Now we're talking about it. Jim Baron? 30. 30? Ooh. There you go, dude. There you go, gunslinger. Now we're talking about it. Jimmer? 13.

13 for Jimmer. All right. It's a surprise round. I don't like this. I don't either. You get one standard or one move, except for Metra. Baron, what would you like to do? Baron will indeed cast Silence in between the both of them.

Far away from the party, we all teleport in their way. How long, what's the radius on that? The radius is a 20-foot radius emanated, the emanation point of which can be on a creature, object, or point in space. So I will put it right in that point right there. Okay, that might come over to your side. If it does come over to the side, I wouldn't put it there, obviously. I can't visualize a 20-foot radius.

Where's that point, Grant, for the listeners? Directly in the middle of the two giants standing betwixt the portcullis. So I'd put it a little bit over, five foot over, further than it was if it touches any of us. Great. Okay. And that is my standard action, Troy. They have a DC-17

will check to negate on their turn, I guess. It's on their turn? I would imagine that's how you do it. You can do it now if you want. Okay. Because they can't do anything until their turn anyway, so... You know what? I'm going to roll it now. What is the...

You said DC-17 will? Yes, to negate the effect altogether. Just so I know. But is that if it's cast on them, or if that... That's what you said before. You said it needs to be cast on them. Yeah. No, they don't get a save.

I don't think they get a save. They can just leave the cone of silence, and it doesn't affect them. Oh, okay. Then they're great. Okay, so it's on the rock. They don't roll the will save, only if it was on them to negate silence. Oh, okay. And they're great. Okay, so it's on the rock. They don't roll the will save. Only if it was on them. Okay, then.

That's your action. We'll move on to Thun. Thun... Oh, dear. Troy's facial expression is really terrifying right now. I know. Something really, really bad is happening here. This is the point where Thun turns on us.

He starts stabbing us right in the back. Great sword starts swinging at him. Like a toddler on Shaq. Thun is going to just move down just to the edge of where the silence is. And right above where one of the spikes is. Just to kind of create a little more space in the room. It is now Dalgrit's turn.

So Thun can see the edge of the magic. He has to detect magic or he's otherwise just a genius. I just want to know this, Troy. I'm just telling you where Thun moved, and then I'm explaining to the listening audience where that is. I'm going to... He's double-crossing us. First,

I would like to uh do a perception on the giants okay uh i just want to see if there's anything funky or different about them or why they're in darkness or something look for goggles look for i don't know okay perception a 25 25 um and you're just looking for anything unusual based on like in comparison to the other fire giants you fought. Right. Why are they just standing still, standing there in the dark, staring straight ahead? It's weird. So he's looking.

Are they breathing? Are they looking straight ahead? Are they blinking? Are they looking around? They appear to be breathing. And you don't outwardly notice anything different about them compared to the other giants. Okay. You don't outwardly notice anything different about them compared to the other giants.

Okay. How about a knowledge local to see from a creature standpoint if they have any other different abilities or something that I haven't noticed. That is a 29. 29? Again, no. Nothing. Standard fire giant material. You're looking them up and down. They look exactly like the other ones that you've, with the exception of the lieutenants.

Those ones had a little bit of a different look to them. Okay, then I am going to... A woman's find. Okay, then I am going to move around behind the fire giant on the right, between it and the wall. Okay. And since I'm vanished, I'm going to risk just moving without stealth and hoping that it doesn't hear me. Okay. It's also silent there, too, so.

Right, exactly. So, like, I can't see why. That boosted your thing there. Okay. It is Jimmer's surprise round. All right. Jimmer is going to move in since this fire giant is flat- footed and presumably can't take an attack of opportunity he's going to run past

and slide in so he's flanking with Dalgry so moves in the giant is clearly not aware of all of you otherwise it would have taken an attack of opportunity. There's got to be illusions or something

there's something going on here I hate it and so you just step right up to him in the darkness right up in his business alright round one they're like cardboard standees that we haven't noticed you don't notice until you're on either side of them

it's just a cardboard standee it's a police training room alright round one It's just a conference. It's a police training room. Right. Yeah. All right. Round one. One of the fire judges is holding a bag of groceries. Yeah. Looking at the studio side.

He's holding a kid. It is Baron's turn. Oh, God. Baron's going to do a perception check of his own on these guys. Okay. Natural 20, 41. Oh, perception check of his own on these guys. Okay. Natural 20, 41. Oh, wow. Get that out of the way. Wow.

41. 41. Okay. At this point, again, you don't notice anything different than what the other fire giants you've seen so far. It's so dark. It's very dark. If only you could see in the dark.

All of you have dark vision, though, so you can see black and white outlines. You know, unfortunately, at this point, because part of the modus operandi, the code of conduct, the way we're attacking these people, lies around

being quiet. Baron is going to hold his turn until he sees what happens. Okay, Baron. Because he doesn't want until he sees what happens. Okay. Baron. Because he doesn't want to fire. He doesn't want to step in and, you know. Hold. You did cast silence specifically for that purpose. You could step into the silence. Five, ten, fifteen.

Troy, if I step here, will that count my actions in there? Anything emanating from there as being in silence? Yeah. Well, that's taken up half the space. That'll be silence. All right. I'll fire at the one that is flanked by Jimmer and Dogger. Okay. It's gonna get a little

bonus as you're shooting through Jimmer. Uh, that's a misfire. It's a very, very quiet... Hey, guys. Shut up. It's a quiet misfire. Wow. Misfires. Alright. Let's move on to Mettra's turn.

Can I do a perception check on the other side of the room? Yeah. Don't start getting all... He's putting you off kilter. Getting all crazy now. 27. 27. You see a door.

That's it. I mean on the other side of the spikes, the other side of the spikes. Yeah. Just the tunnel that you came in. You don't see any other creatures running up the tunnel. That's all you see. There's going to be some kind of lava monkey or something is going to burst out of one of these doors from under or from underneath us. OK, well. doors or from under the floor. Okay.

Well. Let's just run. Let's just give up now. We've psyched ourselves out so much. We're just going to flee the scene before we even... They don't even know we're here yet. We can still leave.

We can still go. We're such freaky guys. That would be so amazing. Okay, Metra is going to move first. Okay. Down over here. Over here, you said? Oh, here.

Here. Did you hear that, folks? She'll stand against the less business side of the spikes. Right. And then she's going to go invisible. Go invisible. Nice. Okay, so she moves, goes invisible.

It's Thun's turn. Thun, taking a cue off the rest of you. Double move. I'm really freaked out. Thun moves 45 feet directly across across Just like parallel to those spikes Just again creating space In the room so now you've got Metro on one side Thun on the other

Baron, Jimmer and Dalgrith clustered there With Dalgrith right next to the portcullis It is Dalgrith's turn Oh boy Flanking You have darkvision you see that baron like stepped up and now he's just looking at his gun like i know cursing silently cursing at it yeah uh he is going to you know what i'm just not sure if the climbing on is a standard action. I just can't tell.

It just says, When adjacent to or in the space of a corporeal creature, at least one size larger than yourself, a vexing dodger can climb that creature's body with a successful climb check against a DC equal to the creature's CMD. This action isn't a grapple. It doesn't provoke attacks of opportunity.

Blah, blah, blah, blah. It does say it's an action. This action. It says this action isn't a grapple, it doesn't provoke attacks of opportunity, blah, blah, blah, blah. It does say it's an action, this action. It says this action, yeah. So it's just a standard action. But it could be a move action. Right, I think it's a move action. I think it's a move action. Yeah, until you find differently,

I'm going to say that's your move action. Okay. In that case... That's the way we've been playing. In that case, I'm going to try to take one stab at this thing before trying to jump on it. Stabby before jumpy. Stabby before jumpy.

Here we go. Climbing is generally part of a move action. Yeah. So, here we go. 32 to hit. 32 to hit. That seems to hit. Oh, what does that mean? does it connect with something uh yeah i roll damage right yeah absolutely uh you're you're extremely irritating uh i don't know what's

going on i don't know what's going on uh 38 points of damage 38 okay and then nice job and then he's oh come on you are making this so much worse and then Nice job. And then he's... Oh, come on! You are making this so much worse! And then he's going to attempt to jump on the creature. No, I think that's a good plan. That is a 41, so he jumps on the creature. Does a backflip, lands right on it. Backflip right on...

And he's actually holding on to a flesh and blood creature. You feel him. He's breathing. Oh, man. And everything. I don't like it! All the presidents! You feel him. He's breathing. Oh, man. I don't like it. The Hall of Presidents. It is Jimmer's turn.

All right. Jimmer is very dubious, but he is going to... These things have not acted. No. But we had a surprise round. What was your initiative, Jimmer? My initiative was like 13, so... Okay.

Oh, man. Are they just scarecrows? Are they giant scarecrows stuffed full of straw luring us in the whole floor is gonna fall apart i'm gonna do my own perception check just to and it's very bad so all right uh i'm i'm gonna attack uh that is Natty, 15. That is a very high roll. That's 38 to hit. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That is 31 points of damage.

Okay. Does blood come from their bodies? Gosh, it. Oh, my God. Do they scream in reaction? You can't tell. It's silent. Do they, like...

The clouds move Natty17, second attack Natural, critical threat Critical, critical I'm not even going to use a fan crit on this bullshit You don't seem to be Are they moving to defend themselves in any way?

They are moving, yeah, don't let the static one dimensional map fool you. It's a two-dimensional map. A two-dimensional map. You fucking asshole. It's 28 to hit on the critical. Yeah, that's a confirmed crit. Okay.

What is going on? I don't know. I don't like it. I don't like it. That is... All right, let's kick it over to... This mood is so weird. I know.

I don't know what's happening. Mick in Beaverton, Oregon. Hi, Mick. Hi, Mick. Is that Mick? No, it's not Mick. Oh. This is Mick.

That is Mick. It is Mick. Well, it is Mick, but it's a different Mick. It's Mick Servo, friend of the show, and awesome dude. It is a pants off, dance off. Oh! Your attack causes an article of clothing or equipment on the target to tangle up their feet.

Double damage and you may make a free trip attempt against the target. Oh, that's nice. With no chance at an attack of opportunity against you. Hopefully it'll fall backwards on Dalgrith. That's phenomenal. That's phenomenal. That is 58 points of damage. Okay.

And then a free trip attempt. So CMB straight up against their CMD. That is a 38 against their CMB. Holy, you trip him. All right. You trip him and down he goes. Oh, my God. Dalgrith on his back, right? Dalgrith on him, yeah.

Okay. You seem very laissez-faire about this. Laissez. Don't read too much into it. Just give me the play-by-play of what's happening in the scene. That's my job as GM. Motherfucker. Do you have another attack there?

I do. Okay. I'm going to attack again. That is so... That is a 25 with him prone. Minus four to his AC. Minus four to his AC with the melee attack? Then, yeah, that's definitely it. Okay.

26 more damage. 26 more damage, and it appears as if that giant Falls He's already fallen but you see His eyes close And he goes unconscious And springs and sprockets come out of the head Meanwhile

The other giant Rushes out of the silence and just yells one word in giant now and we'll see you next week no you set us up

you set us up how does he know where the silent is? How does he know? How does he know? He really would have no reason to know where it is. What, is he looking at the one that's all wrapped? Bob, tune in next week. The Glass Cannon Podcast is a Glass Cannon Network production

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